Some common issues in student writing

ENGL 106iFeb. 19, 2014

Aleksandra Kasztalska

Announcements!1. Due date change

The due date for submitting the Second Draft of the Interview Report is changed. The Second Draft is now due on Saturday, Feb. 22, at 11:00pm. As always, please upload your draft to Blackboard and include a Paper Progress Sheet.

2. Extra credit opportunityPlease see the handout titled “Extra credit – Discourse community map” for instructions (this handout is on Blackboard, in the folder “Extra credit assignments”).

Problem #1: The author does not explain how findings of the interview relate to concept of a discourse community.

Solution: Make an explicit connection between the findings and the discourse community features (goals, conventions, genres, specialized language, becoming a member), add your own thoughts and reflections about the findings.

Some common issues in students’ drafts

Problem #2: The paper reports on the interview as a series of (sometimes unrelated) questions and answers. There is no clear organization within each body paragraph.

Solution: Organize each paragraph by a key theme or finding and in each paragraph provide the relevant information, ex. one paragraph could focus on specialized language, one on becoming a member, etc.

Some common issues in students’ drafts

Problem #3: The author only reports the interviewee’s answers and nothing else.

Solution: After reporting on your expert’s answers, explain what this answer suggests about the expert’s discourse community. Also, include your own thoughts/reflections/observations to help the readers understand HOW they should interpret your findings.

Some common issues in students’ drafts

Problem #4: A sentence is too vague, general or redundant and, as a result, doesn’t add any new information.

Solution: Instead of making broad generalizations, provide specific examples, explain your ideas in detail, and avoid vague words or phrases.

Some common issues in students’ drafts

If using question words, make sure to follow them up with specific examples/explanations.

Ex. 1: “He also gave me some tips on how to succeed in this field.”

Ex. 2: “I learned how members of this group communicate and what is necessary to become a member of this community.”

How do I avoid vague or redundant language?

Omit statements that add no new information or that are redundant.

Ex. 1: “The interview was very helpful because I learned about this field.”

Ex. 2: “I asked Dr. Smith for some study tips and he gave me a lot of practical suggestions.”

How do I avoid vague or redundant language?

Make sure that it is clear what your “deictic words” refer to and that they agree in number with the nouns they refer to.

How do I avoid vague or redundant language?

“The photos I took of my cats are really cute, but I can’t keep them.”

Make sure that it is clear what your “deictic words” refer to and that they agree in number with the nouns they refer to.

Ex. 1: “The CEO works directly with the supplier. He is quite knowledgeable about the market.”

Ex. 2: “I spoke with the department and they told me I should submit my transcript.”

Ex. 3: “This is why I want to major in French.”

How do I avoid vague or redundant language?

Whenever a more specific, “strong” verb is possible and appropriate, avoid using “weak” verbs.

Ex. 1: Plagiarism is a big problem in this community.

Ex. 2: Advisors have an effect on student success.

How do I avoid vague or redundant language?

In-class activityRead the text below and, with a partner, rewrite it to reduce the frequency of “weak” verbs.

After many attempts to “revive” Lafayette, something is finally changing. Streets that were once empty after dark are now bustling with activity—or at least they are showing signs of life. There are now many coffee shops lining Main Street and the surrounding area, and they are full of young people. A slightly older crowd has also been attracted downtown by new art galleries, and liver performances are now offered at two theaters. There are a few fine restaurants that have before- and after-theater specials. There is also a new park in the middle of town that has live concerts on a regular basis. Young families are also discovering downtown, thanks in large part to the Children’s Museum that has been open for a few years and the baseball stadium, which is brand new and which has a playground that is loved by kids.

In-class activityRead the text below and, with a partner, rewrite it to reduce the frequency of “weak” verbs.

After many attempts to “revive” Lafayette, something is finally changing. Streets that were once empty after dark are now bustling with activity—or at least they are showing signs of life. There are now many coffee shops lining Main Street and the surrounding area, and they are full of young people. A slightly older crowd has also been attracted downtown by new art galleries, and live performances are now offered at two theaters. There are a few fine restaurants that have before- and after-theater specials. There is also a new park in the middle of town that has live concerts on a regular basis. Young families are also discovering downtown, thanks in large part to the Children’s Museum that has been open for a few years and the baseball stadium, which is brand new and which has a playground that is loved by kids.

In-class activity1) Try to find more specific or more interesting words:

Streets that were once empty Streets that once stood emptyA new park has concerts A new park hosts concerts

2) Whenever possible, use active instead of passive verbs:An older crowd has been attracted by galleries Galleries have attracted an older crowd

3) Try not to start sentences with “there is” or “there are”:There are coffee shops lining Elm St. Coffee shops line Elm StreetThere is a new park that has live concerts A new park hosts live concerts

4) Use the simple present/past tense instead of present/past progressive (unless you need to show the action is continuing):Streets are bustling with activity Streets bustle with activity

5) Whenever possible, to describe something use adjectives instead of “that/which” and “to be”:The baseball stadium which is brand new The brand-new baseball stadium

Sources Cited

http://writing.umn.edu/sws/quickhelp/grammar/runons.html

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/561/02/

http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/style/

https://www.uncg.edu/eng/writingcenter/handouts/STRONG_AND_WEAK_VERBS.pdf