Some Humorous English Folk Tales. Part ThreeAuthor(s): Edward M. WilsonSource: Folklore, Vol. 54, No. 1 (Mar., 1943), pp. 258-261Published by: Taylor & Francis, Ltd. on behalf of Folklore Enterprises, Ltd.Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/1257671 .

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COLLECTANEA

SOME HUMOROUS ENGLISH FOLK TALES

PART THREE

THE following folk tales were taken down at odd times in the parish of Crosthwaite, Westmorland, during the last five years. I had intended to keep them until I had time to annotate them and publish them at a later date, but in the present circumstances it seems best to put them on record now. This contribution must be considered as a continuation of the collection published in Folk-Lore, vol. xlix, pages 182-192 and 277-286.

26. The Jamming Pan There was a farm-house situated a long way from anywheres, about

five or six miles from t'nearest house. At this farm they'd a terrible lot of fruit-trees, and damson time had come round again, and they were short of a brass pan for jamming with. T'ald farmer says ya day : " Eh lad, I want thee te ga down to ald Jack Sowerby's an' git their brass pan."

T'lad says : " Nay, hang it. I's nut ga-en fer a thing like that five mile. Neea, nut I."

So he went til his wife an' said: " Hey Libby! thee slip down to ald mother Sowerby's an' ex her for t'brass pan. Tell her we're gaan te jam."

"Nae damn fear!" she says, "I's nut gaan if jammin' nivver gits done!" An' he says: " Ye stupid ald beggar, ye. What thee an' t'lad? It

looks damn like I shall hev ta ga mysel." So he started off for it after they'd milked ya neet.

Efter aw t'jammin' had gitten done it was time for t'pan te ga back

again. But t'question was, wha was gaan te tek it? So they held a conference ya neet, an' it was gaan te fa' on t'ald farmer te tek it back hissel' again. So he says tul em aw ya neet: " Ah'll tell ye what ah'll dew : which yan o' us speeaks after now this varra minute hes t'pan te tek back," he says, " I's damn sure it'll nut be me! " Then the silence began.

The family went to bed, nobody saying owt. Next mornin' they aw gat up-still t'tongues was quiet. Aw went like that till drinking time. Then there was a girt rattle on t'dooer. Neeabody answered it. So this here chap walked in-he was a girt big roadster-a bad lookin' sort of a chap he was-he says : " Good mornin'-grand mornin'." Still silence. so he collered a girt lump o' pasty an' hed a pint o' tea. Aw was still silent, so he crammed his belly as full as he could git it. He had a peep in yan o' t'drawers, spot' a ten bob note and pocket' it. Still silence

amongst the others. So he walks up to t'ald woman. " By gum! " he says, " Ye're a smart lookin' woman. D'ye mind if

I gi'e ye a kiss? " Still silence so he gev her yan. Then he walks up to t'dowter, he says: " By gum! thou's as good a

258

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Collectanea 259 lookin' as thi mother. Dosta mind if I gi'e thee yan? " He was a lile bit capped that nothing was said after all he'd done. So he gave her a kiss.

Then he turned to t'ald lad: " Na, come on. It's thy turn now! " T'ald farmer said: " Nay, damn it. I'll tek t'pan back! " Notes. Taken down in March 1938 frorh Richard Harrison of Low Fell,

Crosthwaite. Cf. Aarne and Thompson (Types of the Folk Tale), no. 1351. Drinking-elevenses, roadster-tramp.

27. Knife or Scissors There was a man and his wife having an argument about something

that had been cut. The man said it had been done with a knife and the wife said : no, it had been done with scissors. And they kept on arguing till they got so angry with each other that he pushed her into the pond. And he kept shouting: " Knives," from the bank, and she kept shout- ing: " Scissors," from the water, as long as she could shout; each was determined to have the last word. And at last he called: " Knives," and he was quite pleased with himself because he thought he'd won; she didn't call back. But much to his disgust-he thought he'd have a last look at her-and as she was sinking she was there (here my informant paused and made a cross with her two fore-fingers) with her fingers crossed.

Notes. Taken down in January 1938 from Mrs. J. E. Bland, now resident at Endmoor, Westmorland, native of Hull. She heard the tale in Hull as a girl. Aarne and Thompson, 1365 B.

28. Training a Donkey (Once there was a man) he had this donkey and he said it was a bad

job had happened. He was just gettin' his donkey to doin' without anything to eat and he went an' deed.

Notes. Taken down in September 1940 from Mrs. Joseph Haddow of Haycote Farm, Crosthwaite, Westmorland. Aarne and Thompson, 1682. My friend Mr. J. F. Norton has drawn my attention to a version of this tale in the Tales of Nasr-ed-Din Khoja, translated from the Turkish text by Henry D. Barnham, C.M.G.; London, 1923, P. 327. I quote another printed version from North-West England. The author is defining the word COO-GREUP . " T'passage behind cows in a hyre. T'greeup's whar o' t'muck lies. Ah dud'nt tell t'tial aboot t'chap 'at cured t'coo frae makken him seea mich muck, bi stoppen her fodder; ner that yan aboot t'purse 'at gat eaten up wi' t'breeches, an hoo t'chap gat it back. Some day Ah'll tell ye mappen." (From Lakeland Words. A collection of Dialect Words and Phrases, as used in Cumberland and North West- morland, with illustrative sentences in the North Westmorland Dialect. By B. Kirkby. Kendal: Printed by T. Wilson, Highgate. 1898.)

29. The Parsons' Meeting It was, like, a parsons' meeting and they were all sitting round t'fire,

waiting of this one to come in. And when he arrived he just looked round 'em all an' smiled. And t'main parson (what do you call him?), t'bishop, he just stood up an' asked him where he'd been.

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260 Collectanea " Wha! " he says, " I've been to Hell." " And what was it like there? " " Why it was summat similar till it is here." " And what's that? " " Why, ye couldn't git round t'fire fer parsons." Notes. Taken down in September 1940 from Mrs. Joseph Haddow.

Cf. Aarne and Thompson, no. 1738.

30. The Churchyard There was two chaps comin' home fra work ya neet, an' one had left

the other and he'd getten practically home and he'd getten to t'church- yard. And he heard some voices over there saying:

" Yan fer me, yan fer thee; yan fer me, yan fer thee."

An' he got a bit frightened like, and he thowt it was t'divvil dishing t'deead out. So when he plucked up courage he went and had a look and he fund it was two lads that had robbed a orchard dishing fruit out.

Notes. Taken down in September 1940 from Mr. James Raven, farm- servant at Cawmire Hall, Crosthwaite, Westmorland. Cannot remember where he heard it, but probably in the Furness district of which he is a native. Cf. R. S. Boggs, North Carolina White Folk-Tales and Riddles, J.A.F.L. 1834, p. 311. Aarne and Thompson, no. 1791.

31. Sow and Pigs There was once a little lad went to the country for his holidays. He

went to stay at a farm He had quite an enjoyable time; he'd seen some things as he'd never seen before. And when he got back home he told his mother about it, and there was one thing that impressed him

very much and that was a pig with its young ones. So his mother asked him what the pig did. So he said:

" Oh! the little ones chased it, knocked it down on its back and start'

pulling its waist-coat buttons off." Notes. Taken down from Richard Harrison in April 1938. Cf. Aarne

and Thompson, no. 2010.

32. The Borrowdale Cuckoo Now they were terribly bothered in Borradle about their game. There

was summat ga-en wi' t'game eggs an' they couldn't reckon it up. Well they were watchin' one day an' they spot' t'cuckoo sowkin' eggs. They tried to shut it and they couldn't git a shot at it and so it flew into an intack and intul a tree. And so they thought they would wa' it in. So

they got a good wa' round it, but t'cuckoo cleered t'top-nobbut just. So they thowt they was a steean or two short because it just cleered it.

So they went round where they had all this game at, t'cuckoo was there again. So they off wi' their guns again to see if they could shut it. Awwiver it happened to flee and into just t'seeam intack, just an' so cleered the wa'. And so they thowt they would put a bit mair wa' onto t'top-they thowt they would have it. Awwiver they went inr again

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Collectanea 261 with their guns an' it flew out again, just an' so cleered t'wa' again. And that carried on for about fower times, and they wa'd up till they'd wa'd aw t'steeans there was i' Borradle. So they had to give it up-it could allus just flee ower t'top.

Notes. Taken down in April 1936 from James Harrison of Low Fell, Crosthwaite, who heard it in 190o from a native of Thirlmere, Cumber- land. The story relates to Borrowdale, Cumberland, and various printed versions of it exist; all these derive from that recorded by J. Briggs in The Lonsdale Magazine, vol. ii, 1821, p. 293. The above is less to the point than Briggs' version, but it seems a genuine folk-tale, not obviously derived from printed sources.

Intack-enclosure, shut (with a long u of course)-to shoot, steean-stone.

33. Meat and Taties

They (the farmer and his servants) were sitting for t' dinner and t' farmer put'em their meat out on their plates. And t' lad was eating away at t' meat and t' old farmer says to him: " Now my lad, reach up to some taties."

T' lad says: " Nay. They're kisty blokes that can't eat this without taties."

Notes. Taken down in September 1940 from Mrs. Joseph Haddow. The point of the story possibly requires explanation. It is the custom for the farmer to help the meat on to each plate after which the servants " reach up " for the potatoes themselves. In this story the lad did not help himself to the potatoes and the farmer was afraid he would eat nothing but meat and demand more.

Kisty (the i is long)-dainty. EDWARD M. WILSON

THE SOUTH ARABIAN UNICORN THE Arabs of South-west Arabia are house-dwellers. Very few are nomads, and no tribe in South-west Arabia is truly and entirely nomadic. Most people retire at night into strong stone or mud forts, and do not emerge again until the sun is up. Consequently they know little of the animals of their country, and are inclined to people it at night with strange and eerie forms.

Strangest of all is the Tahish. It is a fearsome beast, half animal and half jinni, which inhabits the mountains of the Yemen. It has frequently been described to me, and the descriptions vary little and only in detail.

The Thhish lives in the less accessible rocks of the hills, and by day watches the valleys and hill tracks. By night it descends upon its chosen victim-but seems to do him little harm beyond giving him the fright of his life. It is the size of a large horse, with a horse's head and mane, and neighs like a stallion, only with a more ringing and brassy note. Its eyes are luminous and-a sign of the evil eye-pale blue. It is higher at the withers than at the quarters and has a lion's tail, which is often described as being lashed from side to side. From the corners of its horse's mouth project long, sharp tusks, usually flecked with bloody foam. Its feet are apparently variable, for it has camel's feet to enable

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