son of the devil

8/14/2019 Son of the Devil

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Son of the Devil

Scene one

(Scene opens on a household set, with a living room stage right, a kitchen stage left. A

hallway between the living room and kitchen leads offstage which is going to be thebedrooms. In the living room a couch sits center stage facing the audience with a coffee

table in front of it; a phone is on the wall by the hallway. There are wedding pictures on

the wall. The kitchen is a simple dinner table with five chairs placed around it; the table iscovered with dishes from dinner. Ben and Debra are standing stage right by the front

door, waving and saying good-bye to people.)

Ben

Okay, bye-bye, good to have you visit.

Debra

Hope to see you again soon, bye-bye, love you too, daddy.

Ben

Have a safe trip back home, you two.

(Ben closes the door and leans against it.)

Ben

That was a fun weekend

Debra

My parents arent that bad.

(Ben crosses to stage left and sits on a couch placed center stage.)

Ben

So was this Chad McKinsey they wouldnt stop talking about?

(Debra follows and sits next to him.)

Debra

Oh God, I cant believe they brought him up.

Ben

So, who is he?

(Debra gets up and crosses in to the kitchen area)

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Debra

Dont ask.

Ben

Alright.

(Ben joins Debra in the kitchen as she starts to clean up the table.)

Ben

So, who was he?

Debra

He is just a guy.

Ben

A guy your mom and dad couldnt stop talking about. Apparently he is doing quite wellfor himself.whatever that means.

(Debra throws a piece of food at him)

Debra

He was just a guy I dated in high school alright.

Ben

Oh, thats all? The way your mother was talking it sounded like he was the next messiah.

Debra

Thats just because shes upset that I

(Debras voice trails off as she looks at Ben)

Ben

What?

Debra

Never mind.

Ben

What? That you married me instead of Mr. All-American?

(Debra stops cleaning up and goes around the table toward Ben)

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Debra

Aw, is somebody jealous?

Ben

No, I am not jealous....I just find it funny because the way your dad was talking it

sounded he wanted to Marry him.

Debra

Thats not funny. Although that does bring something I wanted to talk to you about.

Ben

I hate it when you have stuff you want to talk about.

(Ben crosses back to the living room and sits back down on the couch slumped.)

Debra

And no, its not the whole having children thing.

(Debra crosses and sits next to him)

Ben

Okay, that makes me feel a bit better

Debra

Well, my parents visit once every month.

Ben

Unfortunately.

(Debra slaps Ben shoulder playfully.)

Debra

Shut up, you know love them.

Ben

No, I love you, and because I love you I have to tolerate them.

Debra

You better be joking.

Ben

Of course I am joking, I love your parents.

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Debra

I knew you did.

Ben

Especially around Christmas

Debra

You never stop do you?

Ben

Not as long it avoids whatever you wanted to talk to me about.

Debra

Thats right; I wanted to talk to you about YourDad.

Ben

Why would you want to talk about that?

Debra

Well, since your mom passed away last year it has been on my mind.

(Ben gets up and moves toward the kitchen.)

Ben

How do you even know I have a dad? I could be a test tube baby.

(Debra gets up and follows)

Debra

Oh no, dont you pull that, I know you have a father, because your mother always used to

say you are just like your father.

(Ben cringes at the thought of being just like his father.)

Ben

I wish you wouldnt say that.

Debra

Why? Who isor was your father?

Ben

What do you mean was?

Debra

So he isnt dead?

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Ben

No, hes around.

Debra

How do you know? Who is he? Where is he?

(Ben turns to face her)

Ben

Honey, it isnt important. Lets just drop it, okay?

Debra

How can you say that it isnt important? I want to know more about the other half of

your heritage.

BenI dont think that is a good idea.

Debra

Why? Whats so bad about you father?

Ben

It depends on how you define bad.

Debra

What?

Ben

Never mind, well talk about tomorrow okay honey. Why dont you start getting ready

for bed and Ill handle the kitchen, okay?

Debra

Well, okay. I didnt mean to push the issue; I just want to know because I care.

Ben

I know. Ill be back there in a bit okay.

Debra

Okay.

(Debra heads back through the hall exiting backstage. Ben starts cleaning up the kitchenand a few beats pass when the phone rings.)

Ben

Ill get it honey.

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(Ben answers the phone)

Ben

Hi, Dad.

(A voice is heard over the other end)

Voice

How did you know it was me?

Ben

We were just talking about you.

Voice

I hear your wife wants to meet me.

Ben

Unfortunately.

Voice

Now is that anyway to talk to your father?

Ben

Probably not, so when can I expect you for a visit?

Voice

Now, what makes you think I was going to visit?

Ben

I dont know, talk about the devil and he shall be there. Does that ring a bell?

Voice

Oh come on, thats just an old wifes tale.

(The door bell rings.)

Ben

Jesus Christ.

(Ben opens the door and it is his father, the devil. A tall suave man with horns coming out

of his forehead is at the door.)

Dad

Not quite.

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Ben

Hi Dad.

(Dad opens his arms out as if to hug Ben.)

DadHow have you been son?

Ben

Since when have you cared?

(Dad puts his arms down and looks disappointed)

Dad

OuchI guess I deserved thatbut come on are going to leave you old man out in the

cold?

(Ben gives his dad a look)

Ben

Its summer.

(Dad looks at Ben and gives him puppy dog eyes)

Ben

Fine. Would you like to come in?

Dad

I would love to.

(Dad takes an exaggerated step into the house past Ben and looks around.)

Dad

You have a nice place.

Ben

Thanks.

(Debra is heard from offstage.)

Debra

Who is it, honey?

(Ben and Dad look at each for a beat and before Ben can say something Dad speaks)

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Dad

Its only Bens long lost father, whom he hasnt spoken to in years.

Debra

What!?

(You can hear Debra walking toward to the living room, Ben looks at his Dad with

surprise and disgust, Debra walks in and spots the two. A beat passes while they all look

at each other; suddenly Ben flings himself at his dad in an emotional embrace.)

Ben

Daddy!

(As they are embraced Debra starts to get teary eyed and Dad looks emotional but Ben,

facing away from Debra has a look of hatred on his face. As they are hugging Ben

whispers.)

Ben

I hate you.

Dad

I know, I know, I love you too son.

(Debra disappears down the hallway for a second while they are hugging and comes back

out after a beat with a camera and snaps a shot. After Ben and Dad hear the snap the turnand look at her, and a beat of silence passes.)

Debra

What? It was a Kodak moment?

(Ben rolls his eyes.)

Ben

Yes, this is all fantastic, but it is late and I am sure we are all tired.

(Ben fakes a yawn)

Debra

You are right honey. (Debra steps passed Ben and towards Dad) It is late, and I am sure

you are tired, right Dad?

Dad

Please my dear, call me Stan.

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Debra

Well, Stan will you be staying the night?

(Ben steps in front of Debra)

BenYou know it is great to you see you Dad but I am sure you other things do you and.

(Stan steps past Ben to Debra.)

Stan

I would love to stay, if I am welcome?

Debra

Of course, we still have the den set up from my parents staying the weekend; Ill just go

and put out the bed again.

(Debra goes backstage again)

Ben

What do you mean youll stay? You dont have any luggage!

(Stan looks around on the ground.)

Stan

Youre right

(Stan claps his hands together twice and a hole opens up in the ground, red lights that

resemble flames can be seen and screaming is heard. An arm comes out with a suitcaseand places next to Stans feet.)

Ben

What are you doing? You cant stay here!

Stan

Why not?

Ben

Dont you have responsibilities?

(Ben points down.)

Stan

I am on vacation.

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Ben

What do you mean youre on vacation!? And another thing, why cant she see the

umm

(Ben points to his horns.)

Stan

Oh yeah, these?

Ben

Yeah those!

Stan

Dont worry about it, she cant see them.

Ben

Yeah, but why?

Stan

It is the same reason she cant see your horns.

Ben

What?

(Debra comes from backstage.)

Debra

Well, it is all set up.

(Debra stops for a second and sniffs the air.)

Debra

Does anyone else smell sulfur?

Stan

I am going to retire; Ill see you kids in the morning.

(Stan picks up his briefcase and heads backstage and Ben just stares at him as he passes

until he disappears.)

Debra

Goodnight, come on honey lets get to bed.

(Ben still looks dumb founded as Debra leads him backstage until disappear, lights fade

out.)

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Scene Two

(Scene opens on the same set, Stan is sitting at the kitchen table wearing a red robe with

pajama pants and fuzzy slippers. He is smoking a wood pipe reading the paper with acup of coffee on the table. Ben enters from the hallway, also wearing pajama pants and a

robe. He sits down at the table across from Stan.)

Stan

Good morning, son.

(Stan takes a puff of his pipe and looks at Ben.)

Stan

I made coffee.(Ben stares at him for a beat.)

Ben

What do you mean youre on vacation?

Stan

Exactly what I said I am on vacation.

Ben

How can you be on vacation! Who is running H-

(As Ben is talking Debra comes out from backstage and walks into the kitchen in a sleepy

shuffle with her eyes half closed.)

Ben

How are you doing honey?

(Debra answers with a yawn.)

Stan

I made some coffee.

(Debras shuffle speeds up as she heads towards the kitchen, a few beats pass as Ben andStan watch, and she comes out from the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee and goes

backstage again.)

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Stan

Not a morning person is she?

Ben

Not reallyAnyway, who is running theoffice if you are up here on vacation?

(Stan gives Ben a weird look.)

Stan

I think I deserve a little vacation time after a millennia, dont you? Besides if anything

does go wrong I have a pager.

(Stan pulls out a little red pager.)

Ben

Well, thats convenient.

Stan

Yeah, isnt technology grand?

(Stan puts the pager back on his belt loop.)

Ben

So why do you have to bother me?

Stan

Does a father need any reason to see his son?

Ben

Normally no, but this isnt a normal situation.

Stan

What, I just cant visit my only loving son?

(Before Ben can respond Debra comes back out refreshed and stretching her arms out

with an empty cup of coffee in her hands.)

Debra

Good morning all.

Ben and Stan

Good morning.

Debra

Did you sleep well, Stan?

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Stan

Like the dead, thanks for asking.

(Debra crosses and sits across from Ben at the table.)

Debra

So, what brings you into town, Stan?

(Stan crosses his left leg over his right, leans back in his chair and looks at Ben then at

Debra.)

Stan

What do you mean?

Debra

Well, I dont mean to be rude but.

Ben

Then dont be honey, it is just good that he is here, right?

Debra

Well, I guess, but I would like to know why he is here now? And why wasnt he at yourmothers funeral?

Stan

What do you mean? I just had dinner with your mother last week.

(Debra looks at Stan confused, Stan looks at Ben and Ben looks at Stan wide eyedshaking his head no.)

Stan

I mean I was at her grave.

(Debra looks at Stan and Ben, they are both smiling.)

Debra

I see.

(Debra stands and exits through the hall.)

Ben

Whats wrong with you!?

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Stan

What!?

(Ben mimics Stan)

BenOh, I had dinner with your mother last week.

Stan

Well, I did.

Ben

Yeah, but she is dead; you cant have dinner with dead people!

Stan

Well, maybe she cant

Ben

And as far as she is concerned, neither can you.

(There is a beat of silence.)

Stan

Fine.

Ben

. (Sighs) How is mom anyway?

Stan

Shes doing fine.

Ben

Where did you go for dinner?

Stan

Purgatory.

Ben

How was it?

Stan

It was alright.

Ben

So, does that means Mom is

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(Ben points up towards the sky.)

Stan

Oh of course I mean, she put up with me, that should qualify her for sainthood.

(Ben absent mindedly responds.)

Ben

Yeah, probably.

(There is a beat of silence and they catch each others eye, and they start to laugh

together. A moment passes and they stop laughing when Debra enters the room, dressed

formally, putting earrings on.)

Debra

What are you two laughing about?

Stan

Just reminiscing

(Stan looks Debra over.)

Stan

Now what are you doing so dressed up?

Debra

Well, its Sunday.

(Stan just stares blankly)

Debra

I am going to church; would you like to join me Stan?

Ben

Yeah, Dad why dont you go to church with her gives you two a chance to get to know

each other.

Stan

I would love to, but it is Sunday, the day of rest and all. But you know, before you go mydear, maybe you would like something for breakfast?

Debra

I would love to but I woke up late and dont want to be late for opening service.

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Stan

Alright then, how about something for on the go, like an apple.

(Stan gives a wicked grin as he pulls out an apple from nowhere and as he pulls out the

apple Ben rolls his eyes and shakes his head. The lights dim and red and oranges lightsflicker on and off mimicking flames. Debra sounds far off as if mesmerized by the

apple.)

Debra

Well, I suppose a quick bite couldnt hurt.

(Debra reaches out for the apple, but before she can grab it Ben snaps it out of Stanshand and takes a bite.)

Ben

Mmm, that is good Dad thanks, you better hurry off honey, you dont want to be late.

(Debra snaps out it and glares at Ben)

Debra

Well if you were hungry just say so, no reason to be such a pig.

(Debra turns to exit stage right. Before she exits Ben calls after her.)

Ben

I love you honey, have fun at church.

(Debra exits. Ben just looks at Stan as he takes another bite of the apple.)

Stan

What!?

Ben

You may be the devil, but while you are under my roof I would appreciate if you

wouldnt try and corrupt my wife.

(Ben tosses the apple at Stan and he catches it and takes a bite.)

Stan

Its just a harmless apple.

Ben

Since when has anything in your hands ever been harmless?

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Stan

You think you know so well.

Ben

Gee, youre only evil incarnate.

Stan

And youre my son, so what does that make you?

Ben

Only half evil incarnate.

Stan

You know Hell hasnt been the same since you left all those years ago.

Ben

I seriously doubt that, I am sure Hell is as tormented and agonizing as ever.

Stan

Probably, but you know Marilyn has been asking about you?

Ben

Really?

Stan

No, not really.

Ben

Whatever.

Stan

I mean what was the point of leaving?

(Ben stands and walks to stage right and stands in front of the coffee table facing Stan.)

Ben

I wanted my own life. I didnt want to be stuck in Hell for eternity. I just didnt want to

be your lackey.

Stan

Oh now come on son, you would have never been my lackey. Are you telling me you

like it up here with your mother more than down there with me?

Ben

Oh come on, Dad, dont be such a baby. This isnt about favorites I enjoyed the time I

spent with both of you. It is just that there is a point in a mans life when he has to make

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his own way. I just wanted to find mine.

Stan

So what is the life that you wanted so bad that you would leave your home and break

your dear fathers heart?

Ben

Oh, dont be so dramatic. I just wanted to..

(Stan steps toward Ben as he is paused.)

Stan

Wanted to what? Take over the world?

(Ben shakes his head.)

StanJoin the army?

Ben

What!? No, I wanted to be an artist!

(Stan is a little taken aback.)

Stan

An artist?

Ben

Yes Dad an artist, do you have a problem with that?

(Stan walks to Ben and embraces him in a hug.)

Stan

Of course not son, why would I? I mean Hitler tried to be an artist, look what happened

to him.

Ben

I know. I tried taking lessons from him one summer.

(Stan lets Ben go and looks at him puzzles.)

Stan

How did that go?

Ben

He isnt the best teacher in the underworld. Every time I made a mistake he shot me

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Stan

How many times did he shoot you?

BenWell, if I wasnt already an immortal I would have riddled with more holes than George

Bushes election speech.

Stan

Nice one.

Ben

Thank you.

Stan

But dont joke about him, that guy is doing Gods work

(They both look at each other and laugh hysterically.)

Stan

So you gave up immortality for this.

(Stan gestures around the house.)

Stan

A wife, a mortgage and a job?

Ben

Yeah, speaking of work, I have to get ready. I have to paint some portrait of a big snobby

banker this afternoon.

(Ben exits through the hall and comes back after a beat with a large case covered in paint)

Stan

Good luck.

Ben

Just behave while Im gone.

Stan

You know me.

Ben

Yeah, and no more apples, okay?

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(Ben exits lights fade. End scene)

Scene Three

(Stan is lying on the couch napping. Lights fade up and a beat later the door bell rings.

Stans eyes open. Another ring of the door bell and he stands up and answers the door

and its a couple of Mormon kids.)Stan

Yes.

Mormon 1

Good afternoon, sir, we are the Jesus Christ Church of Latter Day Saints and we are

spreading the word of our lord Jesus Christ.

Mormon 2Do you know Jesus?

(A devilish grin spreads across Stans face.)

Stan

Oh, I happen to know JC very well.

(The kids look confused for a second.)

Stan

Would you boys like to come in?

Mormon 1

I dont know if we should, we have a lot of stops to make, sir.

Stan

I can understand that but I wont delay you too long. Just come on in, have a seat and we

can discuss your lord Jesus Christ.

(The two boys step in side and Stan closes the door behind them.)

Mormon 2

You mean our lord?

Stan

Yes of course, please have a seat.

(Stan motions to the couch and the two boys sit down. Stan crosses stage left and sits on

the recliner.)

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Mormon 1

Did you have any questions about our lord and savior?

Mormon 2

Or do have a copy of our bible?

Stan

Sure let me have one.

(Mormon 2 ruffles through his backpack and pulls out a bible and hands it to Stan. He

starts to flip through it like a flip book.)

Stan

Let me fill your ears with somethings you might not have known.

(The lights go out and come back on a beat later to signify time passing. Stan is still

flipping through the bible)

Stan

So you see kids, it is like clubbing a baby seal.

Mormon 1

I never really thought about it like that.

Mormon 2

I think I need to go pray.

(Stan absent mindedly tosses the bible over the recliner and the boys dont even notice.)

Stan

You know, you are smart kids; you go ahead and do whatever you think is necessary. All

I am saying is; think it over.

(The kids stand up to leave.)

Stan

But before you go, take these.

(Stan pulls two apples out from his coat and hands to the boys.)

Stan

You said you had a lot of stops and I would hate for you get hungry.

Mormon 1 & 2

Uh-huh.

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(Before Stan can get up to open the door Debra comes in and as she enters the Mormon

boys exit.)

Debra

What was that about?

Stan

I was just meeting some of the locals.

(Debra crosses to the kitchen stage left and puts her purse down on the table; she sees the

bible and picks it up.)

Debra

Well, those two kids are kind of creepy, even for Mormons.

Stan

They seemed nice to me.

Debra

Im sure. You know Stan I am glad that we get this time alone together.

Stan

Why is that?

Debra

Well I have been meaning to talk to you.

(Debra crosses stage right and sits and the couch and motions Stan to do the same and so

he does.)

Stan

What about?

Debra

I know Ben doesnt want me to bring this up, but what is it with you two? I mean the

way he talks it is like you are some kind of devil or something.

Stan

Maybe I am the DevilI mean I certainly am not a good father.

Debra

Oh come on, dont say that.

Stan

No, what if it is true? What if I am the devil? That would make Ben the son of the Devil.

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Would you still him then? What would you think of me?

(Debra chuckles to herself.)

Debra

I dont care what either of you are. I love Ben and you are his father so I love you too.

Stan

Do you mean that?

Debra

Of course I do.

(They hug each other.)

Stan

I can see why Ben married you. And I am glad he did. I know it is a bit late, but

welcome to the family!

Debra

Thanks, Dad.

(They let go of each other.)

Stan

But you know, dear. I think we should save any discussion until Ben is here.

Debra

Youre right, well wait until dinner.

Scene Four

(Debra, Stan and Ben are sitting down for dinner.)

Stan

It has been awhile since I have sat down to a nice home cooked meal.

(Ben and Debra look at each other, Ben is smiling and Debra is shaking his headvigorously at him.)

Ben

Well, it isnt exactly a home cooked meal Dad.

Stan

What do you mean?

(Debra sulking in her chair.)

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Debra

Why did you have to tell him? Why did you have to go and spoil everything?

Stan

Tell me what?

Ben

This is take out, from Boston Market.

Stan

Either way, it was cooked by somebody and it smells delicious.

Debra

Well thank you anyway Stan, but it would have been nice if somebody (she throws a roll

at Ben.) didnt ruin the illusion.

BenWell its not as if you cant cook yourself, you have just been busy today.

(Ben is about to take a bite out of the roll when Debra grabs it and places it back in the

basket.)

Debra

Anyway, shall we say grace?

(Debra grabs Ben hand and Ben and Debra both reach to each of Stans hands and Stanjust looks at them both, just smiling, but Ben for more malicious reasons. Stan then

waves his had toward Debra)

Stan

Sleep.

(Debras head falls as she is fast asleep.)

Ben

Oh come on, Dad, first you wont go to church and now you put my wife to sleep insteadof saying grace! What kind of Devil are you?

Stan

Well, what kind of half-devil are you? Marrying a woman that-

(Debra begins to snore. And they both stare at her for a beat.)

Stan

Snores?

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(Ben props up Debra head with his hand and she stops snoring.)

Ben

Yeah, she does that.

StanShe snores, goes to church and says grace?

Ben

So she is Catholic. Mom was a Methodist, that didnt stop you.

Stan

Yeah but she was pretty liberal for a Methodistand dont you think it will harder tobrake the news to her since she is Catholic?

Ben

What news?

Stan

That you are the son of the Devil.

Ben

No, because she is never going to find out.

Stan

If you say so.

(Stan waves his hand again.)

Stan

Awake.

(Debras head pops up and Ben and Stan quickly grab her and hands and each others.)

Ben and Stan

Amen.

(Debra looks confused for a moment but quickly catches herself)

Debra

Amen..?

Stan

That was a beautiful grace Debra thank you.

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Debra

Oh, your welcome Stan, and thank you.

Stan

Youre welcome.

(They all begin eating.)

Stan

You know, there is indeed a purpose to my visit.

Debra

Oh really?

(Bens voice is flat and unsurprised not even as a question.)

BenReally.

Stan

I have come to see if you will take over the family business, son.

Ben

Oh, well I am not sure..Wait what?Debra

Family business? I didnt know your family had a business.

Ben

Neither did I.

Stan

Well it is on my side of the family, his mother was never part in it.

Debra

How come she never got involved?

Stan

Lets just say she didnt have the knack for it.

Debra

Well, what makes you think Ben can do the job?

Stan

I think he was born for the job. In fact maybe you can help him?

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Debra

Well, maybe what---

(Ben waves his hand toward Debra)

BenSleep.

(Debras head fall again but this time Ben supports it so she doesnt snore.)

Ben

Okay what do you think you are doing Dad!?

Stan

Ah-ha, so you do still have your powers!?

BenYeah, so what? What is the big idea bringing this up in front of Debra?

Stan

I told you, you are going to have to tell her the truth about yourself.

Ben

Why!?

Stan

Because she has to love you and accept you for who are completely. With out that you

will never conceive a child.

(Ben just stares at Stan. Stan waves his hand toward Debra.)

Stan

Awake.

Debra

Kind of business is it?

(Stan thinks for a beat and Ben is looking at him waiting to hear what hell say)

Stan

A non-profit organizationof sorts.

(Ben rolls his eyes with exasperation)

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Ben

What!?

(Debra looks at Ben confused)

DebraWhat?

(Stan looks at Ben with a smile on his face.)

Stan

What?

(Ben looks back and forth between them.)

Ben

Never mind.

(Ben looks down at his plate and starts eating.)

Debra

So do you deal in goods or services?

(Ben stifles a laugh and Stan just stares at him.)

Stan

I suppose a bit of both actually.

(Ben looks up again and waves his hand.)

Ben

Sleep.

(Debra falls asleep and this time Stan catches her.)

Ben

Okay, what does Debra and I conceiving have to do with the family business?

Stan

Consider it a right of passage as you step into the Family business.

Ben

Right of passage? How?

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Stan

Tainting the innocent.

Ben

Are you saying my kids' are going to be a taint?

Stan

Youre my taint.

Ben

Okay, stop saying the word taintOkay, when are you going to understand that I am not

going to do this? I am making my own choices now. She is never going to find out about

my origins and she certainly wouldnt be accepting me for it. So just drop it.

Stan

Alright.

(Ben waves his hand)

Ben

Awake.

(Debra jerks awake.)

Stan

You know Debra, I think that is enough discussion of that subject, how about we justenjoy this wonderful dinner?

(Debra is looking disoriented again.)

Debra

Okay.

(Lights fade out. End scene.)

Scene Five

(Stan and Ben are both sitting in the living room, Stan sitting on the couch and Ben in the

Recliner with his head in his hands.)

Stan

I told you it was something important. And that it would change your life and the lives ofthose you loved.

(Ben raises his head out of his hands and looks at Stan pleadingly.)

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Ben

Yeah but did you have to bring it up during dinner?

Stan

Well I didnt see a problem with it, I was discrete. I even used a code word.

Ben

Yeah, but did you have to call it the family business?

Stan

What? That it is what it is, it is the family businessI mean I thought I was pretty crafty.

Ben

Yeah, you were, you were so crafty my wife thinks you are in the Mafia!

StanReally? I guess I could see where she might have gotten that message.

Ben

You think? She swears she has seen your picture on Americas Most Wanted.

Stan

Well, there was that one time..

Ben

What? You mean you have been on Americas Most Wanted?

Stan

In was in 1980 something..but anyway that isnt important.

Ben

Oh of course not, by all means what is the issue here? I have forgotten with all the

chicanery.

Stan

You need to take over the family business.

Ben

Wait a minute, at dinner you said that you want me to take over the family business,

why is it need all of the sudden?

Stan

I lied at dinner.

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Ben

Oh well, theres a surprise!

Stan

So will you take over the family business?

Ben

Stop calling it that!

Stan

What?

Ben

The family business!

Stan

Well what should I call it?

(Ben stands up)Ben

Hell! You want me to take over and run Hell!

Stan

Need.

Ben

What?

Stan

I need you to take over Hell.

Ben

What ever. Why do you need me to take over Hell? Youre immortal.

Stan

I dont know, it has kind of been my plan for awhile, why do you think I had you?

Ben

What!?

Stan

That is pretty much the only reason for your existence, so you could one day take overmy position.

Ben

What do you mean? How could even you do something like that? Create a life and not

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let it have a life. That is truly evilcan you imagine how that feels?

Stan

Yes, I can.

BenHow dare you fake sympathy with me, I wont let you manipulate me anymore. I am

going to

Stan

It isnt fake sympathy. Sit down son.

(Stan motions to the couch and Ben reluctantly sits.)

Ben

What are you doing Dad; you are actually starting to scare me.

Stan

Do you really think I wanted to be evil incarnate? Do you think I really wanted to runHell?

Ben

Well I always assumed

Stan

No, I didnt. I do it because it is the reason for my being.

Ben

You mean that

Stan

That is right. One day he told me it my destiny, or more of less it was my life and that Ihad no choice in the matter because it was for the greater good and apart of his divine

plan. So here I am.

Ben

..Why?

Stan

I asked the same question. Good can not exist without evil. Humanity could never have

truly progressed unless I tempted Eve with that apple. Life needs an adversary for

change, and I am the original.

(There is a long silence.)

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Ben

Okay, I understand that. But why do want to relinquish your mantle to me?

(Stan chuckles to himself.)

StanLove; I fell in love with a woman.

Ben

You mean mom?

Stan

That is right. But we knew that we could never truly be together unless I had a successor.This is why we thought of and created you.

Ben

You mean mom was apart of this too?

Stan

It was her idea. The idea is you take over Hell, I live the rest of my life on earth as a

mortal and when I die I join your mother.

Ben

But if youre the Devil how is it possible for you to get into heaven?

Stan

It is just part of the cycle.

(Ben looks at the clock.)

Ben

Man it is already 2 in the morning. I have got to get some rest after all of this.

(Ben exits through the hall.)

Stan

Goodnight.

(Stan lies on the couch. Lights fade. End scene.)

Scene Six

(The stage is still dark and Ben is heard screaming from the back. The lights go up and

Ben enters from the hall. Ben has horns now and he is trying to get Stan awake.)

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Ben

Come on Dad, get up. Rise and Shine. Cock-doodle-doo!

(Stan slowly turns to face Ben)

StanWhat is with all the shouting?

(Stan looks at Ben forehead and whistles as he get up)

Stan

Wow, your horns grew back in quicker than I thought.

Ben

You knew this would happen! I am supposed to be human!

StanSorry to burst your bubble but youre not human; you are full fledged devil material now.

Ben

No, no, no this cant be happening. I never agreed to this.

Stan

You never had to.

(Debras voice is heard from backstage.)

Debra

Ben, are you okay? I heard screaming. Stan?

Ben

Quick you have to hide me.

(Ben ducks behind the arm of the couch as Debra enters from the hall.)

Stan

Good morning.

Debra

Good morning. Have you seen Ben, I could have sworn I heard him screaming; unless

you were the one screaming?

Stan

Nope, wasnt me, I dont scream like a girl.

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Ben

I do not scream like a girl.

Debra

Ben darling, what are you doing behind the couch?

(Stan walks stage right behind Debra and puts his hands on her shoulders)

Stan

He is just a little embarrassed. A little family secret and jumped up to bite him on thearse.

Debra

What do you mean?

(Ben steps out from behind the couch to face Debra.)

BenI am sorry honey, I should have told you, but I though I escaped from it.

Debra

What are you talking about; I mean those are some nice fake horns but come on.

Stan

If you look at mine, they arent quite fake my dear.

(Debra turns to face Stan and she is startled by seeing his horns.)

Debra

Okay, so you got a matching pair, so the joke is on me. Ha ha.

Ben

This isnt a joke. My dad is the Devil and I am the son of the Devil.

Debra

Alright you two, this has been a fun little prank, but quit it.

Stan

Alright, time to pull out the big guns.

(Stan claps his hands and the hole from stage rights opens with the glowing lights that

look like flames and the smoke. And an arm comes out with a sign that reads: Its True.)

Debra

Oh well thats nice, when did we get a portal to Hell in our living room?

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(Debra faints.)

Stan

Well, I think she took that rather well.

BenShut up and help me get her on the couch.

(End scene. Lights fade.)

Scene Seven

(Lights up on the living room, Ben and Debra are sitting on the couch. Debra looksdevastated and Ben has his arms around her as if consoling her. Stan is sitting on the

recliner smoking his pipe.)Debra

I still cant believe it.

Stan

Why is it so hard to believe, youre Catholic.

(Debra looks up at him, surprised)

Debra

What does that have to do with anything?

(Stan looks at Ben)

Ben

It doesnt mean anything. Honey, I understand that you may be little confused.

(Debra stands up and looks at Ben with defiance)

Debra

Confused? I have just been told that I am married to the son of the Devil!

Stan

And therefore related to the Devil

(Debra lets out a cry of desperation when she hears that and goes into the kitchen area

with Ben following her and as he passes by Stan.)

Ben

Youre not helping.

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Stan

Its not hurting either.

(Ben is now behind Debra in the Kitchen; Debra is facing away from Ben.)

BenYoure only related by law, honey, that doesnt mean you are doing to go to Hell.

Debra

That isnt what I am upset about!

Ben

Well then, whats wrong?

(Stan gets up out of the chair and stands next to Ben.)

StanI think she is worried about your kids, Ben.

Ben

We dont have any kids!

Debra (Very quietly)

Yet.

Ben

What?

(Debra turns and faces Ben)

Debra

Well

Ben

What are you telling me?

Stan

I think she is saying she is pregnant.

Ben

What!

(Ben looks back and forth from Debra to Stan and Debra is shaking her head yes, with

tears rolling down her eyes. A beat passes and she goes running down the hall crying.

Ben head to the living room and sits on the couch in disbelief. Stan follows and sits on

the recliner.)

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Stan

Wow, what an interesting turn of events.

(Ben looks up startled at the sound of Stans voice and looks at him.)

Ben

You said that we couldnt conceive unless she knew about me and accepted me for what I

am.

Stan

I did.

BenThen how did this happen! She didnt seem very accepting of it to me.

(Stan just sits and smiles smoking on his pipe.)

Stan

Well, not this time around anyway.

Ben

What, you told her before?

Stan

Well of course, I guess she must have thought I was joking. But she accepted it pretty

well.

(Ben stands in a rage.)

Ben

What!? That doesnt count!

Stan

Loopholes.

(Ben starts pacing)

Ben

Loopholes! Loopholes! Everything has a loophole! It must one of your proudest

inventions Dad.

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Stan

Well ye.

Ben

I mean, how could you do this to your own son? Answer me that?

(Ben stops right in front of Stan)

(Stan shrugs his shoulders.)

Stan

Well, Im the Devil.

(The lights fade in and out to show time passing. Stan is lying on the couch and Ben is

sitting on the recliner with his head resting in his hands. It is silent for several beatsbefore Debra finally comes out from the hallway. Neither Ben nor Stan realizes she is

there until she clears her throat. Ben and Stan immediately jump at the sound and theyboth look toward Debra.)

Debra

I am not sure what is real right now. But one thing I do know is that I cant have either ofyou here right nowit is just too upsetting.

Ben

But honey, where else am I going to go?

Debra

You could go to Hell right now for all I care; I just want to be alone!

(Stan gets up and puts his hand on Bens shoulder.)

Stan

Well, you heard the lady.

Ben

Wait, what? Dad; no!

(The lights go out, end scene.)

Scene Eight

(Ben and Stan are in the house alone.)

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Ben

Where did Debra go? Debra! Debra!

(Ben goes searching around the house.)

StanWe arent in your house son.

Ben

What you mean, we are right here?

(Stan snaps his fingers and a red and orange tint comes over the stage.)

Ben

Oh, I see this is just a replica of my house to make me feel better.

StanYup.

Ben

You know what Dad; it is just missing one crucial ingredient.

Stan

Whats that, son?

Ben

MY WIFE!

Stan

Yes, screaming will solve everything.

Ben

I want to see Debra. Why cant I go back up!?

Stan

To be honest; it is because she doesnt want to see you right now.

Ben

I need to speak with her. We need to talk and come to an understanding.

Stan

Dont worry about, I sent someone to talk to her.

Ben

Who?

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Stan

She is on loan from above.

Ben

You mean?

(Stan shakes his head yes.)

Stan

Come on; lets go say hi to Anna Nicole.

Ben

Fine, but I wont enjoy myself.

(Ben and Stan exit stage right. As they leave the lights go back to normal and Debra

enters from the hall with a box of Kleenex.)

Debra

I cant believe I married the son of the Devil.

(Debra walks into the kitchen and disappears behind the wall and comes back with a

quart of Haagen-Dazs and sits down on the couch.)

Debra

Haagen-Dazs youre my only friend.

(Debra opens the container and is about to delve in when the door bell rings.)

Debra

What now.

(Debra stabs the spoon in to the ice cream and places it on the table and gets up andanswers the door and it is her dead mother-in-law.)

Eve

Hello, dear.

Debra

Come in, come in.

(Debra plops back down on the couch and picks up the ice cream. Eve comes in and sits

next to her.)

Eve

I figured you would be a little more shocked to be visited by your deceased Mother-in-

law.

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(Debra takes in a spoonful of the ice cream.)

Debra

Well, once you find out that youre married to the Son of the Devil everything else just

seems normal. Care for some white chocolate raspberry truffle?

(Debra offers Eve a spoonful.)

Eve

You know I cant dear.

Debra

More for me, I guess.

Eve

I want to ask you a question dear.

(Debra eats another spoonful of ice cream.)

Debra

Uh-huh.

Eve

Do you love Ben?

(Debra answers with a mouth full of ice cream.)

Debra

Of course I love him. That is why this hurts so much. He is the Son of the Devil, how

can I cope with that?

Eve

Well, he willbe the Devil soon. Do you think you can deal with that?

Debra

What!? How is that possible? Isnt Stan the Devil? Is he just going to retire? What is

going on!?

Eve

Love. Stan and I are really in love. And we want to be together.

(Debra stands up with the ice cream in hand and starts pacing while waving the spoon

around.)

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Debra

How is that possible? How can you be with the Devil!? Isnt there some universal law or

something!?

Eve

Calm down dear. This is why we had Ben. So he would one day take over for Stan, soStan and I could be together.

Debra

But how is that possible? I mean it goes against everything I have been taught,

everything I have learnedit just doesnt make sense!

Eve

That is true. But you know what that means?

Debra

What?

(Eve stands up and stands behind Debra and puts her hand on her shoulder.)

Eve

That everything you know is in fact just learned and not necessarily true.

(Debra turns around and faces Eve for the first time; she sits down on the couch. The

lights fade on them and go up on stage left in the orange and red flames. Ben and Stan

come in from stage left. Ben is wearing a feather boa and Stans horns are gone but Bendoesnt notice yet.)

Ben

Alright, that was fun, but I still havent forgotten about Debra. I want to be with her;

even if I am going to be the Devil.

Stan

You are the Devil.

Ben

What-?

(Stan points to his hornless forehead.)

Ben

Man, why do you keep on doing this to me!?

Stan

Im sorry you dont want your mother and me to be happy?

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Ben

You know I didnt mean it that way, but what about my happiness?

Stan

We both care about you and your well being which is why Eve is talking to Debra rightnow.

Ben

Jesus! I forgot about mom! We need to get up there and talk to them, make sense of all

this for her.

Stan

We cant right now, we just have to wait for your mother to work her magic. We nee to

wait until Debras ready to see you again.

BenCant we at least wait in purgatory? This is going to take forever.

Stan

Dont be so negative. Just sit and chill.

(Stan and Ben just sit at the kitchen table and wait. The lights go down on them and backup on Eve and Debra in normal lighting.)

Debra

What have I done? I want my Ben back. What do I need to do?

Eve

You mean you dont care that he is the Devil?

Debra

I dont care anymore; I love him and made my vows to be with him no matter what.

Eve

Alright then.

(The lights come up on the whole stage.)

Eve

Hello Stan.

(Stan gets up and goes over to greet Debra. Ben and Debra look at each other surprised

to see other.)

Stan

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Eve darling, how are you?Eve

I am better now.

(They embrace and kiss. Ben snaps out of his stupor and stands up.)

Ben

Alright, just because I am an adult now doesnt mean I stand to see my parents kissing.

Eve

Sorry about that dear. Debra, dont you have something you want to say to Ben?

(Debra looks at Eve and back at Ben. She stands up and goes to Ben.)

Ben and Debra

I am sorry.

(They both chuckle at the coincidence of speaking at the same time.)

Ben

Would you still have me?

Debra

Till death do us part.

(They embrace and kiss after beat they separate and both couples just look at each other.)

Stan

So then everything is copasetic?

(Ben looks at Debra and chuckles.)

Ben

Yeah, I guess so. I never thought this would happen but I am happy.

Debra

And so am I.

(Eve looks at Stan and then back at Ben and Debra.)

Eve

So are we. Dont forget to visit us, okay honey?

Ben

No problem mom. Well see you for Christmas?

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Stan

Yeah, I guess we could decorate purgatory or something.

(Stan goes to Ben and hands him the pager.)

StanI think youll need this. Well see you kids around.

(Stan and Eve leave and exit out the front door. Ben and Debra look at each other.)

Debra

What do we do now?

(As Debra looks at Ben the pager goes off and Ben looks at it.)

Ben

I guess I go to work.

Debra

Well, okay, have fun at the office honey.

(Ben crosses stage right toward the door and before he exits looks back at Debra.)

Ben

Ill be back for Dinner, love you honey.

Debra

Love you too.

(Ben exits. And Debra sits on the couch. The lights turn into the red and orange flames

and again as Debra sits on the couch for a beat and then the lights go out. End Scene and

curtain closes.)

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47

son of the devil

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