sophie woman's magazine june 2011 lkn

SophieWo m a n ’s M a g a z i n e

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION FREE

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INSIDE:

New Feature: Lessons For Granny ~ Go ahead baby, give it a good cry | Page 9

Reaching Your Full Potential ~ The Quiet Power of your “Life Calling” | Page 8

Waiting On Forever ~ Being a single woman and finding love through adoption| 6

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From The Editor: Judy Smith

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Message

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Often I am asked why I am so passionate about Sophie Woman’s Magazine. There are many reasons but it all boils down to the hope that it gives others. One day I should write a book about all the stories people have shared with me concerning how something in the magazine touched their heart. You noticed I said “people” and not women. I am always encouraged when even men share something with me.

As I meet new people that may not know about Sophie Woman’s Magazine, I give them a copy and I tell them to promise me they will read at least a few of the articles. I know that if they do then they will be hooked. Why is that? The answer is because they are written by real people…people just like me and you. They talk about things that we can relate to, about things that touch our heart or make us laugh or even sometimes, make us cry. They let us know that someone else knows how we feel or what we might be going through. It gives us comfort and most of all that one precious thing that I said earlier…HOPE!

You will have to promise me that you will read this month’s article from Kim Fletcher. It will give you encouragement that others do care and it will probably call you to take time to really “listen” with your heart what others are going through.

Then there is Gracie’s article. Ladies, I know your face will break out in a smile while reading how she tells us how to be fabulous. She writes a lot like I do…the same way I talk. In fact, you can just hear her speaking to you.

Don’t miss an article from a granny who still has things to learn. We never stop learning and sometimes it’s just funny who God uses to teach us those lessons. There are the articles of struggle and of overcoming in this issue as well. Maybe you have a story like the one we have; about wanting children and how adoption just might be your answer. After all, there are children who need homes, even if it might be for just a short while.

There are others and they are all superb. They might not be grammatically correct and you might fi nd a typo or two but don’t let that keep you from letting the message in.

Then there is The Male Box! Make sure you read it. Everyone; guys and gals. Wayne told me it was the hardest one he had written. I think it is his best. It has a challenge to us all. A challenge that will make every one of us, not just the men either, think about forgiveness and moving past the things we have or have not been subjected to.

So that is my answer as to why I am so passionate about Sophie Woman’s Magazine. We are not put on this earth just to get all we can for ourselves. We have a lot to give but the majority of the time, the most important thing we have to give is HOPE.

One young mother and I were talking this past week about struggles we go through. I told her one thing I have learned. It does not matter what is going on in your life today. Maybe it is the worst thing ever and maybe it is because of bad choices you made, (who hasn’t made bad choices) or maybe it is because of things totally out of your control. You can choose today how you are going to deal with whatever you are facing and that will make a difference tomorrow!

Maybe you have a story that would give someone hope. We would love to hear it. You can email it to me at [email protected].

Much love to every one of you.

********************************************************************Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole propertyof the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or ti’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine.********************************************************************

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Editor: Judy Smith

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Designed to be a great read, Sophie Woman’s Magazine is written for and about women who are the key decision makers for the family in virtually all business categories. We regularly address matters of importance to women including health, education, home, and charitable events. Our advertisers appreciate the value of this loyal readership.

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SophieWo m a n ’s M a g a z i n e

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Misadventures “I used to think my mom and dad knew everything.”

16| The MaleBox

The three men that give me rea-son to celebrate Father’s Day. by Wayne Deloriea

19| GirlfriendsIn God

Learning to breathe. by Gwen Smith

23| The FrontPorch

Nothing is better than a good Hallmark......commercial. by Judy Smith

11| Lessons for Granny

Go ahead baby, give it a good cry. by Granny Stef

20| Health & Fitness Tips

Stretch your mind and body with these easy yoga exercises. by Sharon Rashidi

28| The DinnerDiva

Do fad diets really work? Yes! But not for long. By Leanne Ely

35| 8 Ways to Feather Your Nest

Learn these 8 tips to help you feel as comfy as a bird in it’s nest. Written by Susan Guest

12| Reaching Your Full Potential

The quiet power of your “life calling”. by Kim Fletcher

15| The FlyLady

Perfectionism is not a virtue. Why trying to be perfect may hinder you. by Marla Ciley

27| Sophisticated Women...

Sophisticated women are lifelong learners. by Nicole Greer

31| Me, Myself, & Inc.

Make time a valued asset. By Sherré Demao

pg 3 | Message From The Heartpg 8 | How To Be Fabulous - by Graciepg 32 | Pearls & Petticoats

pg 37 | "Motherhood” photos from shutterbuggerz.com

pg 33 | What’s In A Picture? by Pam Starnespg 34 | Waiting on Forever by Kristen Robinsonpg 36 | How To Enjoy Eating Healthy

4 Sophie Woman’s Magazine / June 2011

5www.sophiewomansmagazine.com

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Misadventures “I used to think my mom and dad knew everything.”

10| The MaleBox

The three men that give me rea-son to celebrate Father’s Day. by Wayne Deloriea

13| GirlfriendsIn God

Learning to breathe. by Gwen Smith

15| The FrontPorch

Nothing is better than a good Hallmark......commercial. by Judy Smith

9| Lessons for Granny

Go ahead baby, give it a good cry. by Granny Stef

20| The DinnerDiva

Do fad diets really work? Yes! But not for long. By Leanne Ely

17| 8 Ways to Feather Your Nest

Learn these 8 tips to help you feel as comfy as a bird in it’s nest. Written by Susan Guest

8| Reaching Your Full Potential

The quiet power of your “life calling”. by Kim Fletcher

11| The FlyLady

Perfectionism is not a virtue. Why trying to be perfect may hinder you. by Marla Ciley

19| Sophisticated Women...

Sophisticated women are lifelong learners. by Nicole Greer

21| Me, Myself, & Inc.

Make time a valued asset. By Sherré Demao

pg 3 | Message From The Heartpg 6 | How To Be Fabulous - by Gracie

pg 23 | "Motherhood” photos from shutterbuggerz.com

pg 12 | Pearls & Petticoatspg 16 | Waiting on Forever by Kristen Robinson

HOW TO BE FABULOUS!

Gail Sommer Germain, aka “Gracie”, is wife to Bob, mom to Sydney (15) and Robbie (11), and a Statesville, NC resident. She starts her day at her barn… but fi nishes by being a boutique owner and personal fashion stylist to some incredibly fabulous women!

by Gracie

Photo courtesy of www.nichollancasterphotography.com

Remember Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman? Remember the confi dence she possessed after cleaning up her life… and her look? A positive self image is crucial in fashion and life in general. Allow me to analyze in my “40 year old Psych/Fashion 101” way…

Being self assured can literally start with one step. A woman’s ‘walk’ is all about confi dence, and confi dence is HOT! Haven’t we all, at one time, admired those fabulous runway models strutting their stuff on the Catwalk? LOVE, LOVE the look they give as they stop and pose, showing off the designers fashions- knowing they are rockin’ em!! Well ladies, it’s time for us regular girls to strut our stuff!! This month I will give 3 tips to turn outrageous fashion trends of New York and Milan into wearable everyday attire.

#1 The Super Chic 1950’s Look Picture the matte red lipcolor, the perfectly coiffed hair, the elegance

and classic style of a crisp suit. Let’s channel our inner Coco Chanel! Or, for us ‘country girls’, how about Patsy Cline?? There is an amazing designer label, Effi es’ Heart, that completely embodies this vintage style. Try a high waisted skirt with a ruffl e or two, or a pair of Mary Janes with a thicker heel. The bonus of the latter? Not breaking your ankle by catching your stiletto in a cobblestone street (uhmm…not that I EVER did that). Most importantly, fl ash those pearly whites behind a sexy red lip, you “Starlet” you.

#2 Bright Colors Along with the whites and neutrals on the Milan stages, we saw

fun, funky colors circa 1980’s. Wake up sistahs, it’s time to shine! This trend is all about brilliant vivid hues that scream “Look at me…I’m fabulous!” Now, unlike the 1980’s, we should minimalize to perfect this style. All over fl uorescent is NOT a good look for anyone. Otherwise, keep it simple by wearing those dazzling pigments one piece at a time. When you do, keep your chin up, shoulders back, and fl aunt whatcha got baby!

#3 Bold Prints It’s time for some Gracie honesty. All bold prints are not fl attering…

just sayin’. However, with attitude and fearlessness, it can be done. The key is knowing what works for you personally. I can not wear polka dots…just can’t do it. I will, oddly enough, feel like a quatrillion dollars in a zebra print…go fi gure! Always stick to that “Platinum Rule of Fashion”…KEEP IT SIMPLE. When I sport an obnoxious and totally fab dress (see photo), I wear a solid color shoe, keep the accessories to a minimum, and the make-up sheer. Floral prints, the biggest thing this season, are easier to pull off than the animal sort. Nonetheless, when has safe ever been as much fun as daring? See you in the jungle dahhhling…

I believe there is a little supermodel in all of us. Let’s take fashion to the next level girlfriends. Have fun, experiment, be the woman that the less adventurous just can’t help staring at. As Roy Orbison sings “No one could look as good as you…Mercy.”

P.S. Heading to Italy this month…can’t wait to start some “Country Couture” trends there!!! How do you say y’all in Italian?? xoxo Gracie


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Mandy’s

Anything You Can Do....I used to think that my mom and dad knew everything.

I can remember having those proverbial arguments in which I looked at someone else and pitied them because my dad could beat up theirs, and that knowledge alone made me so much cooler than anyone I knew.

Although, looking back, I never seemed to take into account the fact that my dad wouldn’t have appreciated my threatening people in his name, but still.

As for my mom, I can remember thinking that she knew everything. Any question that I had, any concern, anything at all, my mom had an answer for.

Times were easier when I had the toughest dad and the smartest mom on the planet.

Now, I’m on this side of the parenting coin with Savannah asking me all of these weird, random questions that I have no idea how to answer. I’m not even going to talk about her little relationship problems. She’s fi ve years old, how can she have relationship problems at fi ve?

More often than not I fi nd myself pulling solutions out of thin air, because a simple “I don’t know” won’t suffi ce. Plus it makes me look stupid, and I’m not having that. Of course, there are many times when Vanna wants to refute me, and I’m left wondering why she bothered to ask me at all if she knows the answer herself.

But, all of this has led me to wonder: did my mom know everything? Was my dad stronger than Rebecca’s?

And, more importantly, if the answer to both of those questions is “no,” then how did they get me to believe it?

Because seriously, I could use some help convincing Savannah that I know everything. ■

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she’s talking about????????



by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker

REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL:The Quiet Power Of Your “Life Calling”

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Some people settle for a job… others long for a ‘calling’. One of the things that inspires me most is seeing individuals living

out their unique life calling in authentic and creative ways. The most powerful ones are often lived out in quiet anonymity, expecting no recognition apart from the lives they live to touch. Holly is a perfect example. I came to know her through one of my closest friends and have been compelled to support her life’s work ever since. You see, Holly was barely over 20 and single when she felt God

compelling her to move from the US to Uganda, Africa. She obediently followed that voice deep within, leaving home with few resources and a great vision… seeing that African children orphaned by HIV/AIDS have a place to call “HOME”. Today, just a few short years after this vision was birthed in her

heart, a humble brick ranch house simply known as “Our Own Home” (AfricaOurOwnHome.org) has brought acceptance, love, and a place to belong to hundreds of Ugandan children. In a recent letter, Holly introduced her ministry partners to Trophimus,

a young boy who came into her care after losing both parents to AIDS. This little boy, also infected with this terrible virus, is enjoying increasing health and emotional security in his new home. She says that “he joyfully walks in his newfound security every day”. I just glanced over at Holly’s most recent letter. If you could be here

in my offi ce with me looking at her pictures, you would quickly see that she is a powerful woman. She would not need to try and convince you. The bright smile, peaceful eyes and elegant stance hint of her royal position among the loyal minority of modern-day individuals who have abandoned cultural norms to live a life of impact, actively seeking out individuals and causes worth investing in. While your life calling has quiet power, it is also easy to recognize

by onlookers who know little or nothing about you. I was reminded of this just this last week while enjoying lunch with a friend at a restaurant out of town. The waitress was kind and attentive. After lunch, she brought over

our check. While I expected her to leave our check and head off to serve another customer, she did something rather unusual… she pulled up a chair. Knowing nothing of us (my friend is a Counselor and I am a Life Coach), she began telling us how she is unhappy with her job and how her life feels off track. She went on to tell us about the college program she is planning to enter. A few quick questions quickly revealed that she had given up on her dream career (one that she spoke of with passion and emotion) and was now settling on something that would bring a secure income. She further revealed that people she trusted had steered her away from the calling of her heart to this more ‘sensible’ line of work. We encouraged her to re-visit her decision-making process and

consider how she could make career and life decisions that bring the passion in her heart to life, rather than stifl ing it. She vowed to not ‘settle’, but to listen to her heart and follow what she had long known to be her unique calling.But why did she pour out her heart to ME? How could she have

“Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell someone you are, you aren’t.” Margaret Thatcher

known that she could pull up a chair and fi nd someone willing to listen and to encourage her to honor her own voice and heart? Is it possible that she recognized something of this ‘coach’ in me? Is

it possible that my calling has permeated my being so deeply that she sensed I would care about her heart? Is it possible that someone in your life will recognize your calling today, even one you have buried or hidden? I wonder how the world would be changed if every person would

embrace the realization that we were all created with a unique calling? Best-selling author, Max Lucado, titled his newest book “Outlive Your Own Life”. This simple phrase reminds me that my life was intended to reach far beyond my own self-imposed limitations to create a ripple effect of greatness that will generate hope and encouragement for generations to come. Take a few moments today to ponder what you want others to recognize

about you. And begin practicing those things daily until they become part of your ‘authentic image and identity’. Make it your goal to have a passion and a calling that makes you easy to recognize… then a world in need will be able to fi nd their way into your heart.

Kim Fletcher is the CEO and Lead Life Coach with Kim Fletcher & Associates. Kim also passionately directs Life Compass International, a non-profi t organization bringing hope and signifi cance to lives across the nation. Contact Kim directly to learn more about crafting your own life of impact. Email: kimfl [email protected] / Web: lifecompassinternational.org / 828 327 6702. To learn more about Holly, visit AfricaOurOwnHome.org.

Holly with some of the Ugandan children she is helping.


Cry, BabyBy Granny Stef

It was a dark night. I had gone over to pick up Walker for the evening and had parked too close to a muddy spot. I set him down in a chair by his back porch and told him to be very still while I moved the car, to not move, and I would get him in just a moment. Carefully I inched the car forward while keeping both eyes on him because—even though he is a super kid-- he is just a kid.

Things went along fi ne until I turned the car off and started to get out and get him. He was so excited to get to be going home with me that in his youthful exuberance he started to get out of his seat and run towards me. Sharply I reprimanded the boy by telling him “Stop!” Oh how his face fell and he burst into tears. A few seconds before he was all smiles and playful. Now he was reduced to a wailing mass.

“It’s not that bad, baby. Granny just told you to not do something and you didn’t mind. Don’t cry.” But he did. Loud cries that I was sure would get his Mama out there wondering if I was beating her fi rst born with a stick.

“Walker. Honey, it isn’t that bad. I’m not mad at you. You don’t need to cry.”

“I do. Granny, sometimes I just need to cry.” Silently shaking with laughter at how sensitive he can sometimes

be, I held him tightly and said “Go ahead then. Cry, baby.” And cry he did. Loud, gut-wrenching cries of pure frustration, helplessness, and just the most pitiful, heartfelt cries a child of

two can muster. They came from the depths of his soul where they had been steaming, simmering for Lord knows how long. It’s hard always being told to be a big boy, to not cry, to suck it up. Walker had held it in long enough, I suppose, and it was time to let it all out.

Still fearing Mama coming to see what harm I was causing, I looked about the neighborhood while Walker sobbed in my arms. It was just a moment but it was one of those times when I felt at one with nature (something I assure you does not happen often). The night was beautiful. A full moon was rising; the stars were brighter from this slightly higher elevation than is at my own home. And this tiny boy was howling in my arms, piercing the night with his heart-wrenching expressions. I felt at peace.

Yes, peace. For it came to me, as it so often does through this child, that it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to let it all out, to be at the point of breaking enough to fi nally let it go, and then, to be done with it. Someone is there to hold me too when I am at this rock bottom place of desperation, frustration, and aggravation. It’s okay to cry. I am here. You don’t have to speak; you don’t have to explain. Sometimes you just need to cry. And when you do, I am here.

After his fourth wail, he rubbed his eyes, sniffl ed into my shirt, and I gently gave him a smooch. “Feel better now,” I asked?

“Yes. Let’s go to your house now.” Hugging him tightly and thanking God once again for this boy, I loaded him into his car seat and off we went. No more tears for tonight. Weeping lasts for a moment but joy comes when we are on our way to Granny’s house.

Lessons For Granny

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National Director of Activity and Exercise for Meridian Senior Living, Owner & Opera-tor of Coach’s CORE Fitness Studio, former NASCAR Coach, Master Fitness Instructor, Personal Trainer and Sports Nutritionist Wayne DeLoriea, one of NASCAR’s most successful coaches, certified in 80 countries around the world and author of “Coach Without A Whistle” and “$elling Your$elf…There’s Magic In the Approach”, joins nchealthylifestyles to help you realize and attain your nutrition and fitness goals.You may contact Coach at: www.deloriea.com

THE

MALEBOXby Wayne DeLoriea

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While most people only have one significant man in their lives, I have been blessed to have three great men in my life. Three men to guide my steps and demonstrate what it is to be a REAL man. It wasn’t hard to notice them, because they simply stood head and shoulders above all others. All three were committed, hard working and consistent. They all dared to dream big, but not bigger than their ability to attain. That made them doers, not dreamers.

The first was my high school history teacher and cross-country coach. As I write in my book Coach Without A Whistle, JP taught me that the only free lunch...is in a mouse trap. Good things come from hard work and diligence. He told me to consider the cost of effort before deciding to go after something. He said that you first have to decide that the prize is worth the effort; the blood, sweat and tears it takes to get it. Otherwise, your life will be filled with journeys only half completed and you’ll live a quitter’s life.

The next was Jack Roush. Jack built upon the lessons that JP began. He showed me that I should never stop digging deeper within myself for answers to the questions in my life. He also taught me that there’s magic in the approach. All too often we hurry into a project before we look at the problem from all angles. Approach a problem from your strengths, not your weaknesses. You might think that’s an obvious statement, but you’d also be surprised at how often people live through their weaknesses…always aware of what they CAN’T do or what they’re NOT GOOD at. Jack taught me to find what I’m good at, develop it and live through it. I found that by coaching someone’s strengths I could often make them champions, but by focusing on the things they weren’t good at, I only reminded them of how weak they were and created and reinforced more failure. I made deals with my pit crew guys. I told them that I’d focus on their strengths and they were responsible for their own weaknesses. Soon, when they were the best they could be, their weaknesses weren’t so apparent.

JP and Jack are two of the three greatest men that I have ever known. I love them more deeply than any other men in my life, except for the third of the three. That man is my father-in-law. I believe that God knew that I had been cheated in life by being raised by an abusive alcoholic. God never meant for this man to become the man he chose to be and never intended that I fear for my life and safety everyday for the first 16 years of my life. So, he made sure that later in my life, I’d have a father figure that I could revere and love with all of my heart. My father-in-law…my dad, is everything I want to be in life. He is strong, consistent and loving. He grew up during the great depression, fought in Europe during WWII, came home, married his sweetheart and they spent the next 67 years together. They raised four children teaching them to be honest, self-sufficient and to love God. My dad is smart in the ways of the world and wise in life. At 91, he still works out and gets around better than most men 30 years younger. He still has projects and works with his hands in the workshop making musical

instruments. I HAVE to admire this man because he lives a giant’s life. He is the most amazing man I will ever care to know. I love him with all of my heart and though I try all the rest of my life, I might become half the man he is.

God has truly blessed me with having these three great men in my life.

As a father, I know that I have made mistakes…who hasn’t? My mistakes were made through naivety and love. Often, I had to choose between something not so great and something worse…but I NEVER chose meanness and abuse. My choice was to break the chain of abuse! It ended with ME!!! Rather than abuse my children, I faced the demons. I walked back into the lion’s den rather than make my children heirs to meanness.

I have spent the past year offering up advice and guidance to men who might be dealing with their lions and the fear that comes from letting go of the past to ‘just be lovely and loving’. I have agonized over my words and mental images to inspire boys to be men and let men know that it’s okay to be boys…sometimes.

To you guys who this comes a little too close to…If any of this, means anything to any of you men out there, simply

stop and ask for the help you deserve. No more bitter-sweet Father’s Days; no more lies and no more abuse. Let it end with you. Break the chain and ask for help. The power of forgiveness is an amazing thing but it must start with repentance and apology. Before my father died, I asked him if he’d do anything differently. He said he wouldn’t make any changes; he’d do it all the same way. DO NOT let that be you! My father died a coward…you don’t have to.

Let your journey begin by looking at this website. It uses real words, not psycho-babble to describe what abuse is and why it happens. It also lets you know what you can do about it. It is only the first step in the journey; the first punch that you’ll throw toward the real enemy…your demons. Never, never, never lift your hand against those you love again. Be a real warrior and get help.

http://www.abuseville.com/help_for_abusers/Happy Father’s DayCoach

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by Marla Cilley

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FlyLady

When we least expect it, perfectionism reaches out and knocks us in the head. It keeps us from following our hearts desire and stops us dead in our tracks. Perfectionism triggers procrastination. This is when we tell ourselves; we don’t have time to do it right so we do nothing. We have all suffered with this affliction.

We all have had dreams and those dreams were tossed aside because we told ourselves that we would never be good enough to accomplish this. Those words were heard coming out of other people’s mouths at first and then we began to parrot them. We do not have to listen to those negative words any longer. It is time that we quieted those voices and replaced them with loving words of encouragement.

Loving yourself is about building yourself up and not shutting your creativeness down. All our lives we were chastised for being spontaneous and a dreamer. We have the ability in ourselves to follow our dreams if we will quit listening to the perfectionism that lurks in those negative voices that haunt us. We have a gift to give the world. It is a gift of creativity and making that gift is filled with joy.

Do you remember as a child doing something for your mother and spending hours working on it? When you were conceiving the idea, putting your secret plan into action and then presenting the gift, you were filled with great joy. You never expected to have your little dreams dashed by a perfectionist mother who only found the flaws in your work.

After that our little hearts only heard those voices. Our minds recreated them and keep on perpetuating that abuse with everything we thought about doing. It didn’t take long for those words to be part of our daily thrashing. I know that this is hard to think about, but when we look at what happened in our childhood and forgive those who hurt us, we can begin our journey toward our dreams.

Those dreams have been forced down so far in our minds that we can hardly remember them. As you begin to quiet those voices you will start finding them again. Loving yourself is about recognizing when you hear those voices and putting a stop to them. You are wondering just how to do this. This is what we loving refer to as FLY Washing.

When you hear yourself say a negative statement in your mind or even out loud, I want you to turn that statement around and put a positive spin on it. Then say it back to yourself seven times. For example, I will never get anything accomplished, I get so sidetracked. Turn that around to say, I am a creative person and I have great ideas. I can learn how to be organized, it takes babysteps!

Today as you follow your routines be aware of the conversations you are having with yourself. Recognize the harsh ones and gently turn them into a loving positive affirmation. This is what FLYing is all about!

Finally Loving Yourself is the gift you give the world!

For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2011 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

Perfectionism.......... ..........is not a Virtue

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PearlsPetticoats>&Things we Keep

Author Unknown

I grew up with practical parents. A mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it... A father who was happier getting old shoes fi xed than buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away.

I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fi xing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fi xing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affl uence. Throwing things away meant you knew there’d always be more.

But then my father died, and on that clear winter’s night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So... while we have it..... it’s best we love it.... and care for it... and fi x it when it’s broken......... and heal it when it’s sick.

This is true ... for marriage....... and old cars..... and children with bad report cards..... and dogs with bad hips.... and aging parents..... and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special........ and so, we keep them close!

Daddy, I love youFor all that you do.I’ll kiss you and hug you‘Cause you love me, too.You feed me and need meTo teach you to play,So smile ‘cause I love youOn this Father’s Day.

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.” ~Harmon Killebrew

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usu-ally has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” -- Charles Wadsworth “Small boy’s defi nition of Father’s Day: It’s just like Mother’s Day only you don’t spend so much.” -- Unknown

“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” -- Anne Geddes



Girlfriends in GodP.O. Box 725

Matthews, NC [email protected]

Learning To Breathby Gwen Smith

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Today’s TruthDiscipline yourself for the purpose of godliness. (1 Timothy 4:7b,

NASB)

Friend to FriendBefore our fi rst child was born, my husband and I took a series of

classes to prepare us for childbirth. I vividly remember being told by my Lamaze instructor that while in labor, I would need to breathe through each contraction. She would give us instructions like: “Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth” and “When you inhale, allow your belly to expand fi rst, then your chest.” She told us that the way we breathe would affect the way we would experience labor.

We spent a lot of time during those week-after-week classes learning how to breathe in a whole new way. We were taught that the breaths we would take during labor would need to be purposed and controlled. They required discipline and were not like natural breathing. So I practiced and I practiced the special breathing techniques in preparation for when the labor pains came a-knocking.

When the day arrived to welcome my fi rstborn son, Preston Miles Smith, into the world, I learned what a discipline breathing through contractions really is! There were times during labor that I felt like holding my breath instead of breathing. Times when the pain was so intense that my natural response was to scream instead of to breathe. Yes. This type of breathing was surely a learned behavior, a purposed discipline. And on the other side of this purposed discipline, in spite of all the pain endured, I was blessed to experience the wonderful joy of life.

I’ve labored through many hard life experiences since my child birthing days. I’m sure you have too. There are times when circumstances press us in waves, contractions of life that are seemingly endless. When the waves of trials hit our heart and home, the spiritual discipline of trusting God helps us to breathe through the squeeze of each pressure. I like to call it faith-breathing. When we hunker down and put into practice the act – the discipline – of faith.

But what do we mean by “the discipline of faith?” Paul wrote: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever,” (1 Corinthians 9:24-25). Just like I learned to breathe in preparation for going through labor pains, Christians learn to breathe through life pains when we implement spiritual disciplines in our lives like prayer, fasting, journaling and Scripture reading. They are purposed disciplines that bring joy and strength. The more we pray, the more we grow in intimacy with God. The more we read and know the Bible, the more we understand God’s will and character. We see over and over again that He is good, faithful, compassionate, loving, gentle, just, holy, righteous and trustworthy in all things. We are encouraged and spurred on by the faith of others. We learn to faith-breathe!

God is always with us and will help us breathe through the diffi cult situations we face. He allows us to go through trials as a part of our refi ning process. Struggles send us running to God for help, for faith,

for strength, for protection and direction. They are often pregnant with pain. Bursting with heartache. If we yield them to God, He uses them to rid our lives of trust-barriers like fear and doubt, and to bring glory and honor to him. There are many life contractions that hurt us, but there is no earthly pain that can diminish the hope of our salvation. We must simply breathe – continue practicing those spiritual disciplines that bind us to the heart of God.

“Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the Holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work,” (2 Timothy 3:12, 14-17 NLT).

Trusting God takes discipline. We don’t always feel like it. It’s not always what we want to do. It’s not natural. At times we feel overwhelmed and want to soul-scream. If we always acted on our feelings, our lives would be chaotic messes. As in childbirth, there fi nally comes the time of deliverance where what is birthed forth to joy is directly the result of the very pain we have gone through.

Let’s PrayDear Father, please teach me to breathe! Strengthen me through

life's hard labor experiences and help me to practice the disciplines I have learned through Your Scriptures. When I feel like screaming through the pain, help me to breath by reading and memorizing Your Word, fasting and praying, and meditating on Your Truth. Thank You for the strength You will give me as I trust in You. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.

Now It’s Your TurnSpend some time meditating on God’s Word today. Read over the

verses below and write them on note card and review them until they are committed to memory.

“…all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27b).“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength”

(Philippians 4:13).“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against

you.” (Psalm 119:11)“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9).

Front PorchFrontFront by Judy SmithFrontFrontThe

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Watching television is not a big deal for me like it is for some people. There are certain shows that I really like to watch but other than those and watching NASCAR races, well, I could pretty much do without TV. Some people can sit in front of the “box” all day long and be perfectly happy. For me, I feel like I am wasting my time. For the most part, I don’t think there is much worth wasting my precious time on.

Considering that I now have over 800 channels to choose from, I think that is pretty funny. When I was small and had only two or three channels, there was always something worth watching. Ever so often though, I am reminded of the quality of shows….and commercials that touches my heart. Yes, I did say commercials!

My husband is always on the search for things that I might like to watch. One thing he knows, that for the most part, I always love the Hallmark movies. We record most everything we watch so we can just forward right through those horrible commercials. I am so saddened by the things that are advertised, even in the middle of the closest thing we have to family shows. A few weeks ago, he had recorded a Hallmark movie for me and one evening, we decided we would watch it.

The movie was absolutely great. The fi rst segment ran and then there was a commercial break and like normal, if one of us needs to get up for something; a drink or snack or a restroom break, we will let it run through. Richard decided he needed something to drink so he handed me the control and told me to fast forward if I wanted to but before I did, they told they were doing something special. It was Hallmark’s anniversary. Now I don’t know if they meant the movies or the cards or being on TV or what. All I know is they said it was an anniversary and that they was showing a new commercial and right after, one of their fi rst commercials. Have you ever watched a Hallmark commercial that made you cry? Come on, tell the truth. Can you guess what we did?

Richard got his drink and when he got back he found that I had rewound and paused. He just could not miss how great these were. After each segment, there was a recent commercial and one from the past…and plenty of tears from me. Richard said he didn’t cry but one time he told me his allergies were bothering him.

That two hour movie time that we can normally get thru in under one and a half hours, well, it took us about two and a half. I kept rewinding. Why those commercials? I think it is because they remind us of what’s important. The connection between a parent and child, that special touch that sets our heart on fi re, a thank you for caring, or maybe a congratulations for something special.

You might say that Hallmark sure caught me, hook, line and sinker and that is what they wanted so I would spend my money with them. You might say I was pretty gullible. I would tell you it’s a shame that more shows and commercials don’t make us feel that way….. That they don’t make us think about what is important. I would waste more time watching television if they did.

Honey, do you have the DVR set for a Hallmark movie? I will have you a snack ready and I will make sure you get your allergy pill before we start. Don’t want you missing part of it because your eyes are watering!


Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory

and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured

in “Spectacular Homes of the Caro-linas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more infor-

mation, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

by Susan Guest, ASID

Ways To Feather Your Nest

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How are you like a mama bird? The mother bird carefully prepares the nest for her family selecting the best materials she can find in the surrounding area. She kicks her babies out of the nest as they mature. Then she moves! Sound familiar? Most of us do the best improvements on our homes when we are preparing to sell, and don’t even stay to enjoy our work! Even if you don’t have a large budget for decorating, you can feather your nest and enjoy your new and improved space. Whether you are trying to sell your home or just need a change, these eight pointers will help you create new energy.

• Save for the splurge! Sometimes it is worth saving for a wonderful piece of furniture or art that you know you’ll love forever. A power piece can perk up a room even if the other pieces are lesser quality. I have learned from experience that my “treasures” are timeless and can be used in many ways with different design schemes over many years. The key is to find an oil painting or rug that has a variety of colors or wonderful quality furniture that reflects who you are and can withstand the test of time. Take care of the piece and it will love you back forever!

• Mix in some trendy, less expensive accents. This might be pillows in the latest colors or current accessories that perk up the room. Take cues from the latest catalogues, but only use ideas that fit your taste, budget, and lifestyle. If you have an active family or pets, stay away from delicate fabrics such as silks in a room that is used frequently.

• Paint your walls. Paint is one of the quickest and least expensive ways to transform a room. You can add personality and change the mood of a room in just a few hours. Take advantage of the current trend of having a fun splash of color on an accent wall. If you are color blind or get nervous selecting paint, purchase a small sample of the color and paint it on poster board. Tape the sample to your wall and live with it a few days, checking it at several times of the day when lighting conditions vary. If you are still not sure, hire a professional designer who is trained in color theory and psychology.

• Use removable decals. Consider adding inspirational words, your child’s name in his or her bedroom, or a design motif that gives your room a theme. When you get tired of that look, simply remove the decal.

• Remove everything from your walls and shelves. This will give you a chance to clean or paint. Then put things back in different places. Try storing some items if the room feels too cluttered. Donate things that you don’t like or don’t need. These very items might be someone else’s treasure and you will have less to dust.

• Keep a file of magazine photos of rooms that you like. Even if you are not decorating at this time, you will be more prepared when you get

the urge. This simple task will save you time and energy later. You might even make notes on the page with reasons that you selected that particular photograph.

• Budget for a small project every year and larger projects every five years. Smaller projects are easier to tackle and are not as overwhelming or taxing on the budget. If your house is kept fairly current and well -maintained, it will be easier to sell in case you ever have a life change and have to move. Projects such as kitchens, baths, or refinishing an entire house of hardwood floors, require more money, stamina and an alternative place for performing these tasks. Do not start these tasks if your health, mind, and marriage are in jeopardy!

• Use local people and sources whenever possible. Not only does this help the economy in your area, save freight and higher trip charges, it is also easier to get help if something goes wrong. Find workers that you trust and get references whenever possible. Never pay for the entire job before work is done and get estimates in writing. Ask lots of questions before you begin a project.

Even though it is cheaper to decorate in the most current colors, you may save money in the long run if you choose colors that are more unusual. You will most likely not get tired of your room as quickly if you don’t see cloned copies of it in every other home that you visit. If you cannot visualize your finished project, hire an expert with training and experience. Good designers can see the completed project in their mind and can draw you a rendering of what your room can look like. This can keep you from making costly mistakes. When you redecorate, remember to donate your discarded items that are in fairly good condition or take them to a consignment shop.

As the mother bird prepares her nest, she borrows items from her surrounding environment. Recycle, Reuse, and Renew, and feather your nest!

8Waiting on Foreverby Kristen Robinson

For my entire life, I have had a plan. Graduate high school, go to college, get a job, buy a house, get married, and have a child. It was the perfect plan and everything fell right into place until it came time to have a child. I had no idea that my body would not be capable of giving me what I wanted. After infertility treatments and a failed marriage two years later, I decided to pursue adoption as a single parent. I ran into many obstacles including private agencies not accepting single parents. I began looking into the foster care and adoption process. My only concern was falling in love with a child only to return them to the biological family. Would I be emotionally capable to handle this situation? Would I be a good mother?

My questions were answered when I ran across a quote by Oprah Winfrey, “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” After much consideration I decided to take classes to become a licensed foster parent, something that would change my life forever.

Within five months of becoming licensed, I welcomed my foster daughter, into my home. She was a beautiful 2 year old with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. I immediately fell in love with her, something I promised myself that I wouldn’t do. I told myself not to get attached, just in case. I spent the first month terrified that I would have to return this child whom I had already grown to love. With supportive family and friends, I was able to realize that this process was not about me, it’s about what is best for my foster daughter. Once I came to terms with the situation, I was free to enjoy life and the little girl who had become a part of it. Every moment spent with her was precious and I was building

memories that would last a lifetime.The process was long and difficult. There have been countless therapy

appointments and social work visits. It has been sixteen months and my daughter is now 3 years old. Her adoption is finalized and I couldn’t be happier. Sometimes before she goes to sleep, I tell her the story of her adoption. I explain how she grew in another mommy’s tummy and how she grew in my heart. It’s the best feeling in the world to be able to say, “This is my DAUGHTER,” when I introduce her to someone. I often have strangers approach me and tell me how much she looks like me. I just smile and say “Thank you”, because she IS my daughter, she may not have grown in my tummy but she grew in my heart!

Legacy of an Adopted ChildOnce there were two women who never knew each other.

One you do not remember, the other you call mother.Two different lives, shaped to make your one...

One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.

One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.One gave you up ... that’s all she could do.

The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.And now you ask me, through your fears,

the age old question unanswered throughout the years...Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?

Neither, my darling, neither.Just two different kinds of love.

~ Author Unknown ~



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Bridal Shower 101: Recipe for a Party

The question was popped, the date is set, and now it’s time to shower the people you love with love.

Make a to-do list that includes invitations, menu, setup, cleanup, photos, decorations, ice-runs, etc. Organize and list items in a three-ring binder with dividers. Add details as needed, but hang on to your sanity by keeping things simple. Basic Guidelines:

The maid or matron of honor usually leads the charge, with •work shared by the rest of the bridesmaids. This means the party-givers pay the bills, so it’s essential you make and stick to a budget.

Schedule the shower six to eight weeks before the wedding. Try •for a two-hour block on a weekend afternoon.The bride and groom compile the guest list. When you’ve •gathered addresses, phone numbers, and email, send out invitations six weeks before the shower or several months ahead if there will be out-of-towners. Include the date, start and end times--two hours should do it--event address, contact information, and gift registry.Let guests know if the party has a theme: kitchen, new home, •pamper-the-bride, or other special interests.A big guest list might mean you rent a space; a more intimate •gathering could be held at a private home. Either way, plan for enough seating, eating, and mingling. Decorations can be simple or elaborate; classic or themed.If there’s room in your budget, hire someone to help set up, •serve, and clean up afterwards.

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

SSSophisticatedophisticatedophisticatedSophisticatedSSSophisticatedSophisticatedSophisticatedSSSophisticatedS WWWomen...omen...omen...Women...WWWomen...Women...Women...WWWomen...W Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners Are Lifelong Learners

Nicole Greer, PPCC is a professional life and busi-ness coach. She works with the TILT360 Leadership Model, that Gramma Myrt embodied. You too can be a woman of character and bring the Art of FULL TILT leadership to your life and your organization. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfi ll your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and infl uence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the pos-sibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confi dence. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

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Sophisticated women have no choice but to be life long learners.

We sophisticated women have dreams, desires and a destiny stirring within us. And to move forward with our ideals, we must be on the cutting edge of best life practices with an arsenal of fresh strategies. Exercising our self-leadership muscle, we must acquire knowledge relentlessly not in pursuit of self-satisfaction but to share our wisdom in service to the world. Leadership can be defi ned as infl uence. And infl uence is diminished by blind spots and over used strengths. Therefore, we sophisticated types must become a life long learner in order to identify and correct our blind spots and over used strengths. Otherwise, we limit our performance and in the long term create a ceiling on our ability to take possibilities and turn them into probabilities.

I celebrate learning as the most reliable route to enlightenment. Enlightenment is being free of ignorance and misinformation about ourselves and the world we live in. The proverbial light bulb comes on when we create a foundation of self-understanding and develop a plan to lead ourselves well through intentional personal development.

The fi rst stage in enlightenment is the utilization of assessment. Assessment is a continuous process of gathering details of our life’s journey in order to develop our dreams. Our assessment stage may include a formal assessment of personality using an instrument such as the Path Element Profi le or it may simply be the compilation of journal written over a space of time. All of this information is captured for the purpose of creating perspective around how we show up in the world.

Next, we are invited to bring balance to our lifestyle by defi ning an ideal persona. This is where we construct a plan of action that will propel us to a new level of productivity, which ultimately delivers positive results. To reach this new level of productivity, we must engage a due diligence process. We must take stock around the following:

The structure and pitfalls of our daily lives: the opportunities • and restrictions The scope of our roles: including the unspoken but real • responsibilities Our inner strengths: which are frequently unrecognized that • will propel us through the challenging journey of learningPersonality factors: that have tripped us up in the past or • might derail future development Finally, our level of self awareness: our impact on others • and the ability to handle confl ict and uncertainty

This is an exercise in “learning to learn” which can itself create a challenge. At this point we see we need to make a change. It’s likely we’ll experience internal confl ict as old and new meanings or values clash. We begin to feel disconnected from past habits. We feel disoriented, as new skills require new behavior. We must have new knowledge to make a change.

Here are ideas to become a life long learner:

At all times, be formally engaged in some kind of • “classroom” learning environment.Learn with the intention of teaching others what insight you • gain. Keep a “To Learn” list.• Ask others for feedback about your performance.• Seek out social groups that encourage learning such as a • book club.Watch Educational Videos on You Tube• Subscribe to Podcasts that feed your dream.• Start a blog at www.wordpress.org .• Join Toastmasters International.• Volunteer for a cause.•

Embracing a lifestyle of lifelong learning can provide the essential fresh strategies we, sophisticated women, need to live into our dreams, desires and destiny.


Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save signifi cant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com

The Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner Diva

Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the

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The Skinny On Fad DietsBy Leanne Ely, CNC

Quick question: Do fad diets work? The answer is YES. Surprised I’d say that, aren’t you? But I’m not fi nished. You will lose weight (and probably muscle; not the fat loss you wanted) and then most likely (97% likely as a matter of fact), gain it all back, plus a few more. Fad diets aren’t pretty.

The biggest problem with fad diets is that they’re not constructed to fi t into anyone’s lifestyle. How would you like to be on a grapefruit only diet and go out to dinner with a group one night? Kinda hard to explain your plate full of grapefruit to your tablemates who are all enjoying the catch of the day and some healthy veggies, isn’t it? With fad diets, the only goal is to lose weight, end of story. The idea that your diet should not only enable you to lose weight, but also promote health and then keep the weight off is foreign to fad diets.

So, what’s the solution to getting weight off and keeping it off? Start keeping a food journal and examine what you’re eating on a regular basis, record it, refl ect on it, and see what you can do to make it better. Instead of cutting out all carbs, cut the ones that are obviously not doing you any good. Live without bread, rice and pasta for a while and see how you do. This rationale can be applied to more than just carbs – it can be applied to anything!

Studies have shown that those who diligently keep a food journal lose weight and keep it off. This small act will make you much more conscious of what you’re eating and keep you more aware of what your body really needs. In the end you are your own nutritional guru--what works for me, may not work for you. You really do know what’s best for your body and you are the one who needs to decide on your best diet--you can do that when you journal. Start today!


Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save signifi cant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com

The Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner DivaThe Dinner Diva

Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the

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The Skinny On Fad DietsBy Leanne Ely, CNC

Quick question: Do fad diets work? The answer is YES. Surprised I’d say that, aren’t you? But I’m not fi nished. You will lose weight (and probably muscle; not the fat loss you wanted) and then most likely (97% likely as a matter of fact), gain it all back, plus a few more. Fad diets aren’t pretty.

The biggest problem with fad diets is that they’re not constructed to fi t into anyone’s lifestyle. How would you like to be on a grapefruit only diet and go out to dinner with a group one night? Kinda hard to explain your plate full of grapefruit to your tablemates who are all enjoying the catch of the day and some healthy veggies, isn’t it? With fad diets, the only goal is to lose weight, end of story. The idea that your diet should not only enable you to lose weight, but also promote health and then keep the weight off is foreign to fad diets.

So, what’s the solution to getting weight off and keeping it off? Start keeping a food journal and examine what you’re eating on a regular basis, record it, refl ect on it, and see what you can do to make it better. Instead of cutting out all carbs, cut the ones that are obviously not doing you any good. Live without bread, rice and pasta for a while and see how you do. This rationale can be applied to more than just carbs – it can be applied to anything!

Studies have shown that those who diligently keep a food journal lose weight and keep it off. This small act will make you much more conscious of what you’re eating and keep you more aware of what your body really needs. In the end you are your own nutritional guru--what works for me, may not work for you. You really do know what’s best for your body and you are the one who needs to decide on your best diet--you can do that when you journal. Start today!


Me, Myself, & I nc.

By Sherré DeMao

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Make Time A Valued Asset

In 1995, I was sitting in my offi ce feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by all that needed to be done. Out of this exasperation, I proclaimed, “Oh, if only I had more time!” Sitting across from me at her desk in our one-room offi ce was my administrative dynamo, Ann Lampron. She said without blinking an eye, “You have the same amount of time as everyone else does. It is just a matter of how you use it.”

My fi rst reaction was total annoyance, as this was not the answer I wanted to hear. But she was totally right and at that very moment, I got it. The key is to view time as the valuable resource that it is, which many of us do not even though we profess that it is. Time can only become your ally and greatest asset once you take control of it.

The fi rst thing you need to do is take inventory of everything that you believe wastes or steals away your time. Is it looking for things or trying to remember something? Keeping up with email? Going through mail? Playing phone tag? Attending meetings?

If you fi nd yourself frustrated by looking for things, then get organized. Have a particular place for everything and then do not deviate. From how your home and work space is set up to how you retrieve or lay down things as you walk in, out and through your home or offi ce, you will recapture amazing amounts of time simply by putting things in order and keeping them that way.

If you fi nd yourself forgetting things on a regular basis, then carry a small pocket notebook or pad that never leaves your side to write each thing down as soon as you think of it. This has been an amazing tool for me. I use my wallet-sized planner to write reminders or thoughts down. Don’t use a sticky note or scrap piece of paper that is easily misplaced. We certainly don’t want you forgetting something and then not being able to fi nd that piece of paper that has on it what you forgot!

Don’t become a slave to your email. Dedicate certain times of the day to check your email and stick to it. Turn the tone sound off

and concentrate on your work. If there is a particular email that you are expecting, ask the person to call you or text message you when it is sent, so you know to look for it instead of constantly checking and then getting distracted by other emails that could wait for a response. Let technology work for you by using the security devices that fi lter spam messages. Organize emails you want to save into folders so they are easier to fi nd later, and delete those that are of no value.

How do you handle your mail delivered to your home or offi ce? At home, I have made it a practice to place all mail delivered throughout the week on a table. Then I go through it all at once one time a week on the weekend. I do it where I can place bills in their designated folders, junk mail in the trashcan, promotional mailers, correspondence or invitations I want to keep or respond to in yet another folder or place to take action

on them. Doing this simple once-a-week regimen has been priceless in assuring nothing is missed that is important and that everything is where I can fi nd it when I need to respond or take action.

The telephone is another device that is blamed for eating into time, especially when you are trying to reach someone to no avail. You will more effectively use your and the other person’s time when making or returning calls by leaving a detailed message so specifi c action can be taken when the call is returned or better still, does not have to be returned. Be specifi c when you can be reached for a return call if it is necessary. Follow it up with a quick email if more information is needed and then move on to something else.

When it comes to meetings, allotting certain days for meetings and certain days for in-offi ce work can capture not only valuable time but increase productivity. Consolidating meetings so they are grouped by location is even better.

Determining if a meeting can be just as easily conducted by telephone or via an online meeting site eliminates travel.

I am sure there are other “time wasters” you have on your list. Taking some time to creatively assess and devise ways to consolidate or eliminate entirely will give you a true sense of accomplishment and a renewed sense of control. Next month, I will be helping you shift from time management to time alignment. ■

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A healthy diet is often mistaken for one that is devoid of desirable foods. But just because a diet is healthy doesn’t mean it can’t be delicious as well. A few easy modifications to your favorite recipes can make a diet healthier without sacrificing taste.

Many nutritionists say that the average person should consume between 1,600 to 2,000 calories and 45 to 80 grams of fat per day. There are many different diet plans available that curb carbs, beef up protein and greatly reduce fat intake. However, it is universally agreed that moderate caloric reduction and an increase in activity are the best bets for healthy, long-term weight maintenance.

Ideas to curb caloric intake include using cooking sprays instead of heavy oils to grease pans; replacing butter and salt with herbs and spices to add flavor; or trading regular white breads and pastas for whole wheat varieties. Scaling back portion sizes of meats and increasing portion sizes of vegetables to feel full is another healthy approach.

For those who love a muffin in the morning but want a healthy option, try this Oatmeal Raisin Muffin recipe.

How To Enjoy Eating

Healthy

Oatmeal Raisin Muffins1 cup oats 1 cup skim milk1/2 cup all-purpose flour1/2 cup wheat flour1 teaspoon baking powder1 teaspoon baking soda1 dash salt1 teaspoon cinnamon 2 egg whites1/2 cup sugar1/2 cup applesauce1 teaspoon vanilla extract2/3 cup raisinsPreheat oven to 375 F and spray muffin tins to grease. Soak oats in the milk for several minutes. Sift together the flour and dry ingredients. Mix together the egg, sugar, applesauce and vanilla.Blend the wet ingredients and the oats. Fold in the dry ingredients, then the raisins. Spoon batter into muffin tins. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes.

shutterbuggerzOur Monthly Feature

Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's

professional and amateur photographers!

s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m

Photo Submitted By:Nichol Lancaster Photography

www.shutterbuggerz.com pg 23

shutterbuggerz.com pg 39shutterbuggerz.com pg 38

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9Photo Submitted By:Cathy Gregg

Photo Submitted By:Elements Photography

Photo Submitted By:Lasting Generations Photography

Photo Submitted By:Melissa Cockman Photography


Submitted byMichael Lail

how this worksEach month our readers submit photos to our web site via email, based on the “Montlhy Theme” (visit the website for a list of upcoming themes). During that month, visitors to our web site at shutterbuggerz.com will vote on their favorite photo(s). Each month, the winning photographer (professional and amateur) will receive a prize.

Prizes:Professional photographers will receive a free 1/4 page ad space in the next issue of Sophie Woman’s Magazine. The amateur winner will receive a $25 Gift Certificate to a local restaurant of their choosing. Promotional apparel provided by:

Please read the submission guidelines and disclaimers on our web site at shutterbuggerz.com.

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2010_Sophie_Ad_11-3-10.pdf 11/3/10 4:21:52 PM

Enter Your Photos At shutterbuggerz.com

Submitted byLasting Generations Photography

Submitted byCapture Life Photography

Local photos of everyday people, places, and

events as seen through the eyes of the area's


Submitted byMelissa Cockman Photography

Submitted byCindy Craven Photography

Submitted byMichelle Hrin Photography

Submitted byAmanda Carson Photography

Submitted byMelanie Johnson

pg 24 www.shutterbuggerz.com

shutterbuggerz.com pg 39shutterbuggerz.com pg 38

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9Photo Submitted By:Cathy Gregg



Photo Submitted By:Melissa Cockman Photography


Submitted byMichael Lail

how this worksEach month our readers submit photos to our web site via email, based on the “Montlhy Theme” (visit the website for a list of upcoming themes). During that month, visitors to our web site at shutterbuggerz.com will vote on their favorite photo(s). Each month, the winning photographer (professional and amateur) will receive a prize.

Prizes:Professional photographers will receive a free 1/4 page ad space in the next issue of Sophie Woman’s Magazine. The amateur winner will receive a $25 Gift Certificate to a local restaurant of their choosing. Promotional apparel provided by:

Please read the submission guidelines and disclaimers on our web site at shutterbuggerz.com.

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2010_Sophie_Ad_11-3-10.pdf 11/3/10 4:21:52 PM

Enter Your Photos At shutterbuggerz.com

Submitted byLasting Generations Photography

Submitted byCapture Life Photography

Local photos of everyday people, places, and

events as seen through the eyes of the area's


Submitted byMelissa Cockman Photography

Submitted byCindy Craven Photography

Submitted byMichelle Hrin Photography

Submitted byAmanda Carson Photography

Submitted byMelanie Johnson




Photo Submitted By:Caught In The Act Photography

Photo Submitted By:Amanda Carson Photography

Photo Submitted By:Amy Baldwin

Photo Submitted By:Stillwater Photography

Photo Submitted By:Christian Eidson



Photo Submitted By:Larry Keagy

Photo Submitted By:Audrey Gross Sherrill


Photo Submitted By:Kandy Jordon Photography

Photo Submitted By:Beautiful Moments Photography


Photo Submitted By:Capture Life Photography

Photo Submitted By:Sprinkle Memories Photography



Photo Submitted By:Larry Keagy

Photo Submitted By:Audrey Gross Sherrill


Photo Submitted By:Kandy Jordon Photography

Photo Submitted By:Beautiful Moments Photography



Photo Submitted By:Sprinkle Memories Photography




Be Sure To Visit

shutterbuggerz.com To Submit, Vote, & View PHotos

Photo Submitted By:Cheryl Yoder


Photo Submitted By:Gragg Photography

Photo Submitted By:Michelle Hrin Photography

Photo Submitted By:Tonya Lowman Photography

Photo Submitted By:Still Water Photography


Photo Submitted By:Kimberly Michael Photography


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