south beach las olas cafe conference report

8/13/2019 South Beach Las Olas Cafe Conference Report

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MIAMI MIRROR TRUE REFLECTIONS

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LAS OLAS CAF CONFERENCE REPORTThe Ugly Truth about the Gonzalez Administration

PREFACE

Why are these people so damn arrogant? a newspaper editor asked of the City of MiamiBeachs public officials. You know why. Its the Old Crony System. They dont have to answerto anyone except themselves because most of the electorate is apathetic.

I was referring to the fact that it takes only 3,500 votes to get elected to the City Commission,votes controlled by Old Cronies presiding over the neighborhood associations set up by OldCronies in the city administrators appointed by elected Old Cronies. When I asked acommissioner running for re-election this year why she did not go after the young voters, shestated matter-of-factly, I dont need them. Neither did her friend the mayor. As for the OldCrony System, Its a good thing we have experience, she said. Why, the vast majority of youngpeople in Miami Beach do not even know the name of their mayor or commission, not tomention the name of Boss Jorge Gonzalez, the handsome and suave city manager who has ruledMiami Beach for the Old Cronies as he sees fit for over a decade.

There are a few people who care about what is going on and want to do something about it, but

they are perpetually ignored. If an issue begins to capture the attention of too many people, theyare allowed to blow off steam at a commission hearing as if something effective might be done,but nothing is done, except, perhaps, passing another ordinance that everyone in the know knowswill not be enforced. Or a faux town hall meeting might be held, but questions must be submittedand approved of in advance ala the Harding & Coolidge Press Conference Method, with camerasrolling as expensive suits from out of town give a slick presentation of the latest plan to preservethe status quo on a hot button issue.


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Yes, the fact of the matter is this: the Old Cronies do not need the most of us, and that is whythey thumb their noses at us. That is why many talented people move away, or, knowing thatresistance is futile, worship the Sun the best they can until they become cynical old fogies.

I myself tend to forget how old I am because I am busy studying and writing most of the time,mostly about history because the reality of current events dismays me. One day I received anemail, from one of the few insiders I like, recommending that I go to a public meeting in myneighborhood, to be held at the Las Olas Caf across the street from me, to make suggestionsabout what could be done to improve it. I did not know at the time that he was playing a joke onme. I would be the only member of the public who attended, and would be precisely the sort ofperson the public officials and neighborhood association people did not want to hear from. Sothere I was, at a neighborhood walk-around that never walked around. I decided to make themost of it, beginning with writing the following report.

South Beach, December 8, 2011

July 20, 2010

By David Arthur WaltersMIAMI MIRROR

MIAMI BEACHI was extraordinarily happy when I arose Friday morning on the 16 thof July2010. Little did I expect to be crestfallen by the end of the day and find myself bemoaning themeeting I had attended, at the Las Olas Caf in my neighborhood, between the Miami BeachCity Managers Office, the Miami Beach Police Department and its Code Compliance Division,the Flamingo Park Neighborhood Association and Miami Beach Community DevelopmentCorporation, and myself, the only member of the public, which had supposedly been invited.

I dont know if I can write about the meeting, I told an acquaintance of mine from theFlamingo Park neighborhood. The Gonzalez Administration attitude was so ugly. There was nobeauty in it at all. I started out with all good intentions, thinking there really was going to be adiscussion about the needs of my neighborhood, but all they wanted to do was slap each other onthe back, talk about how long theyd worked with each other in the government, and brag aboutwhat a great job they were doing in my neighborhood. Whenever I tried to point out what wasreally going on, or to make a constructive suggestion, they tried to shut me up.

Thats the way it is, she said, when we go to the meetings of the Flamingo ParkNeighborhood Association. It doesnt have any by laws to speak of, and the rules it does haveconflict. I know how you feel. When we try to make suggestions or to correct false statements,we are shushed.

The mentality of these actors is so bad, I wailed on the phone, they arent worthy of mycritical art. I hate to say this because of our age, but I was thinking after the meeting that death isa good thing. Now I know why seekers after the ugly truth tend to be suicidal. These people havebeen in charge too long and are not accountable. This city needs to be taken over by youngpeople, but that wont happen until the old city clique dies. Good grief, the Gonzalez


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Administration is too ugly for art! Maybe Ill just drop the subject and do what the city managerrecommends for those who dont like his policies - dont complain, just leave town.

Maybe you should take a vacation, she recommended. She was right. But how can I go onvacation when living in South Beach is my vacation?

I decided to stick around and write about my experience. After all, ever since I saw thatmagnificent film in Greenwich Village, featuring flies buzzing around a cow paddy, I wasirrevocably converted to art for the sake of art regardless of the subject matter.

Yes, I had forgotten the old adage, learned from literature in middle school: Great expectationslead to great disappointments. Place your faith not in man but in god, said the god. But man hasdone away with that god, so we are left in the lurch. Expect nothing then, and be not let down. Ido not mean to equivocate when I say that Nothing and only Nothing is perfect.

#

Inspired by false hope, I had been thinking like a fool again. Maybe Miami Beach City ManagerJorge Gonzalez, our El Capo from Hialeah, is not so bad after all, I had thought, although he actslike a Coral Gables Hidalgo. Finally, after all these years, and soon after scoffing at MiamiBeachs 90,000 residents for thinking he works for them, complaining that they always complainabout one bad blade of grass in his great lawn, and suggesting they should move instead ofcomplaining, he has listened to the complaints about my neighborhood, and is going to dosomething about them. Perhaps he had a twinge of bad conscience, I reasoned with myself.Anyone can change.

I had noticed that something strange was happening in Seventh Heaven, the old crack hoodbetween 7thand 5thStreets in chic South Beach, a neighborhood renamed The Toilet becauseit is the capitol of poop in comparison to other neighborhoods. For one thing, the poop had

disappeared.

The citys Code Compliance officers had said they cannot do anything about the pervasive dogwaste violations unless they receive a complaint about a particular dog and its owner by thetime an officer arrives, if ever, both the dog and its owner are gone, and its your word that yousaw the dog do that particular dump. That left the basis of enforcement in the hands of a fewvigilant residents of a dangerous neighborhood in a city the FBI has listed as one of the top tenmost dangerous cities in the country, in the hands of residents who are not likely to call in aviolation and follow some violator around until a Code Compliance officer arrives, if ever people have waited all night for one to arrive after making noise complaints, so in desperationthey call 911 for fast action.

An increasing number of scofflaws have been encouraged by lax enforcement of the dog wasteordinance. They no longer bother to curb their dogs, allowing them to defecate in the middle ofsidewalks. Therefore, instead of loving dogs, many of us call them crapping machines. But thepiles of ordure everywhere are really the fault of selfish and lazy dog owners, who have becomedemented or crazed by the culture of disrespect. By the way, the excremental culture is far worsein Berlin, which was once extraordinarily orderly under an effective police regimen, despite thereputation of Germans for conformity to rules. Berlin was not under the influence of a Nazi


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police state in 1908, when the police department acquired and maintained information abouteveryone who lived in the city, and residents felt secure no matter their economic status.

But now, as if by some wondrous miracle, the pervasive dog excrement had vanished fromunderfoot in Seventh Heaven. Furthermore, dump trucks, bull dozers, backhoes, pavers andheavy rollers had suddenly appeared. Orange-vested workmen were scraping and rolling downtwo of the worst streets. Squad cars were seen all around. Something big was afoot, or so Ithought. And then I received a message from a person whom I have never met we occasionallytrade complaints about the Gonzalez Administration via email.

Although the City Managers Leadership Academy teaches would-be leaders to be nice anddont complain, I love to complain, and as nicely as I can under the circumstances, because Ibelieve there would be no civilization without complaints nor would there be mind or moralswithout ample criticism. Indeed, the devolved psychology of the Gonzalez Administration isunwholesome; the dearth of self-criticism has demented it, reduced its mentality to that of a troopof baboons.

A meeting of city officials was coming up in my hood, my informant said, at 9:30 AM Friday, atLas Olas Caf on 6thStreet and Euclid Avenue, to discuss conditions in the neighborhood and toconduct an inspection tour. The public is invited, he wrote.

Oh, my god, there is a god, my prayers have been answered! I exclaimed.

Of course I had my doubts. Indeed, in an email to Assistant Police Chief Raymond Martinez, Inoted the recent signs of gods existence, but wondered if they were of a Potemkin nature madeto make the area appear as if was getting plenty of attention and was free of dog ordure.

Dear Chief, I addressed Mr. Martinez in a July 15 email under the heading Seventh Heaven 5th to 7thPotemkin Village or Real Improvement? I am just informed by accident that police

and city officials are invited people in my neighborhood to join them at Las Olas tomorrow tospeak of neighborhood issues, in advance of walking around the area. Ironically, Las Olas iswhere compliance officers hang out I just threw away the photos last week! You know theissues only too well. Besides crime, which your force does its best to respond to, there is thestandard complaint about dog waste, so much of that crap all the time that the neighborhood isbeing renamed by some to The Toilet. Strange, over the past two days the dog wastedisappeared, squad cars everywhere, streets being repaired. Unbelievable! Is this going to be atemporary Potemkin village or is it for real? Anyway, glad to hear indirectly about the attention!General Potemkin was not a bad guy, by the way. He loved Catherine, and his improvements,despite heavy criticism, were admirable! David

I had often expressed my concerns to the assistant chief. I intuited that he is a good cop, that heshould be the chief. Although he never replies to me directly, he has at least on three occasionskindly referred matters to staff members, who have in turn resolved certain pressing issues. Asfor his police force, they have always responded in a jiffy to my calls, which I understand haveresulted in 17 arrests.

Just lately I have expressed my concern to the assistant chief, based on the fear and trembling ofgossipers who do not want to be identified as complainers about city management or asinformers about its malfeasance lest they be subjected to retaliation, with the possibility that I


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myself may be subject to retaliation, perhaps from the notorious crew enrobed in black garbagebags instead of white sheets.

Anyway, I imagined myself at the upcoming meeting, and figured the officials would beinterested in my opinions about my neighborhood since I had lived in it every day for severalyears and had been extraordinarily attentive to events there after being often awakened bynoisome nocturnal activities in and around my apartment complex drug-dealing activities, wifebeatings, drunken brawls, knife and gun fights, burglaries, car and bicycle thefts, and so on.

Other than the dog crap, the neighborhood is pretty enough in daylight, at least to the touristswho do not know what is going on there at night. The residents of Flamingo Park have a rule -Dont go below 7thStreet. A tourist asked me what it is like to live there: Its great until youfind out where you are.

My rule for living and letting others live, which I clearly state to my neighbors, is I dont carewhat you do if you do not wake me up in the middle of the night, because I work for my living,and when I cannot sleep I get very angry at whoever wakes me up.

Invariably they waken me that very night, or at least have done so until I got a reputation forcalling the police and getting people arrested and sent to prison or deported. I do bend overbackwards sometimes, and do my best to be tolerant. More often than not, it is someone else thatcalls the cops. South Beach is a raucous party town, after all. Still, people should have somerespect at home for their immediate neighbors.

By golly, I thought, I had better get ready for the meeting. I got out a yellow pad and listed whatI love about Seventh Heaven, and made another list of suggestions for improvement. I imaginedthat I would quickly read these off, or perhaps just hand them to the appropriate person if themeeting were crowded.

Gee, I wondered, why is the meeting going to be a Las Olas, such a tiny caf, if the public isinvited? Well, as will be seen, the public, or at least this public-of-one, was really not welcome atall.

WHY I LOVE MY HOOD

1. Convenient location. Close to public transportation that gets us downtown in tenminutes, a small library, and the beach. We have a bodega, a tienda, a supermercado, asmall library, two lavandarias, two barberias, one CVS and two Walgreens, Las OlasCaf, and the old Hispanic Community Center, in a neighborhood set off slightly fromthe hustle and bustle of the tourist centers.2. Mixed neighborhood. Colorful, hard-working Latinos, some old-timers from Cubawith stories about the Revolution, a few yuppies coming in, a world-class yoga center, ahealth food store, developers trying to upgrade living space with buildings such as theMoulin Rouge.3. Fast police response. Professional police force. Close to police station.


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PROBLEMS:

1. Crime: Rooted largely in a culture of selfishness, violence, and resulting fear, ageneral culture of disrespect. Proximate causes: nearby wall-to-wall nightclubs cateringto violent culture. South American, Jamaican and African-American drug gangs, and thecriminal or alcoholic or drug addicted fringe of a dense paperless population. There is afast police response to definite reports, but a dearth of night watchman patrols patrolcars act as a barrier, whiz by on responses, do not observe problems along the way,officers are hard to flag down, and a few do not like to communicate with citizens at allalthough it pleases citizens when police officers communicate and care about them.

SIX SUGGESTIONS

1. Surveillance cameras. Install cameras on streets and alleys where nuisances mostoften occur.2. Night watchman patrols. Have police officers in patrol cars cruise slowly and observewhat is going on, communicate in a friendly manner with residents, and, from 5 to 7 AM,

ask courteous roll down the window questions of suspicious persons.3. Require landlords to obtain valid identification either domestic or foreign from allnew tenants, and to turn over that information to Miami Beach Police Department within10 days for background and outstanding warrant checks.4. Have police officers and compliance officers ask for identification of all those presentin a location to which they are called on a complaint such as an apartment where anoisy party has generated complaints. Be sure to arrest those present where drugs are inplain sight instead of asking them, for example, in the case of marijuana, to put the drugaway. The neighbors of frequently troublesome people want to be rid of them, andrespect for the police department diminishes when culprits are not arrested formisdemeanors and felonies.

5. Do everything humanly possible to reduce liquor license density on WashingtonAvenue.6. Enforce dog waste laws. Pass legislation, if there is no such legislation on the books,to conduct regular inspections at certain times of the day, and fine landlords for dogwaste and rubbish left on or in front of their buildings, regardless of its source, the fine tobe a lien on the property if not timely paid. In the alternative, require all dog owners tolicense their dogs, use part of the licensing fee to store the animals DNA, then fineowners when matching excrement is found

There you have the ideas. Youll never have your ideals realized under the burdensome, top-down Gonzalez Administration, yet my expectations grew as the time of meeting approached,and they were great expectations by Friday morning when I walked the quarter-block from myapartment to Las Olas Caf after one of those 5-minute downpours so common this time of year.Las olas, by the way, means the waves. Coincidentally, according to my Latin AmericanSpanish/English dictionary, las olas also means saucepans in some undisclosed part of LatinAmerica.

#


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Tim and Danny moved up north to Klan country the next morning, Danny called and left amessage.

Dave, get out of The Toilet. Listen, weve got a beautiful two bedroom home on one acre undertall trees for $650 a month, Danny drawled. The walk to town is 20 minutes. Weve only seenfive black people. Dave, Im telling you, Get out of The Toilet before its too late!

But I love Seventh Heaven! I hate it too.

#

Three detectives were standing in front of Las Olas when I arrived.

Excuse me. Are you here for the meeting?

Meeting? What meeting? one said.

Police and city officials are supposed to meet here this morning at 9:30 to discuss the

neighborhood, and I am told the public is invited?Here? Are you sure the meeting is supposed to be here? the detective asked, incredulously.

Thats right. Las Olas, Euclid and 6th Street, 9:30. I thought you were here for the meetingsince you are a detective.

How did you know that? he asked.

The edge of your badge was sticking out from under the bottom of your shirt before youconcealed it.

Hes observant, said a second officer, as I scrutinized all three men, and noticed another, smallbadge on one of them. I was not observant enough, or I would be able to give a detaileddescription of them, something cops and some journalists learn to do I can however rememberconversations. Maybe I can sit in on the observation course at the police academy.

The first officer had called someone, I think the policewoman responsible for publiccommunications, and informed me that, yes, there was to be a meeting at Las Olas, and that thecoordinator was on her way over.

Wheres your badge? I asked the third man.

He pulled up his short shirt sleeve and displayed a large badge tattooed on his dark, bulgingbicep.

Here comes somebodyshe looks important, said one officer, who had just identified himselfas being in the fraud division.

A drab looking, grey-haired Caucasian woman, seemingly in her sixties, with a grim expressionon her face, was approaching with a firm, machine-like gate indicative of some power. A classicbureaucrat, I thought, but her appearance would be more typical of Washington than sunny South


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Florida, famed for its flowers. Or even Kansas for that matter; look what happened to GovernorSibelius appearance after she went to Washington all washed out.

Enter Lynn W. Bernstein, Office of the City Managers Community Resource Manager of theCommunity Outreach Team. I must say right up front that she turned out to be a stereotypicallyarrogant, rude and humorless city official, displaying obvious contempt for me from the outset.But her demeanor might have been influenced by my extra-dry sense of humor, acquired fromlistening to Jack Benny on the radio when I was a kid, and from quitting drinking for 15 years.Let the reader be the judge.

Im here for the meeting, I announced. I guess Im the only neighbor that showed up.Someone emailed me about it, but no one around here seems to know about it.

Im the coordinator, she responded. I emailed some of the people on my Miami BeachCommunity Development Corporation list.

The MBCDC is a very well endowed non-profit housing development corporation with an

interlocking relationship with the City Miami Beach. Its headquarters is north of SeventhHeaven, at 945 Pennsylvania Avenue. I did not understand how notifying a few people on thatmailing list would constitute public notice for the people of my neighborhood, the overwhelmingmajority of whom did not have the faintest idea of the existence of the MBCDC. And mind youthat many people who are familiar with MBCDC resent it for its allegedly discriminatoryfavoritism in respect to tenants, the tax-exempt status that precludes it from paying real estatetaxes, and the musical-chairs system that the ruling city clique uses to exchange lucrative seats.

I guess Im the only one in the neighborhood that showed up, I replied in a polite tone. Iknow several neighbors who would have come if they had known about it and if it were not totake place an hour after they have to be to work.

Who are you? she said, arching her eyebrows and looking down her nose.

Im David.

What do you do? she asked, still supercilious.

I sensed then and there that I was not welcome, but I would try winning her over with my extra-dry humor.

Right now I am overthrowing the Gonzalez Administration.

Isee, she responded haughtily as we stood in front of the caf. She looked up at the clouds.

Oh, well, it looks like the walk-around is rained out.Oh, its just the usual shower or two, I said encouragingly, and they blow over in minutes.Would you like a caf con leche?

No.

Im glad you called a meeting at Las Olas compliance officers hang out here all the time, Ioffered.


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We all come here, she pronounced hollowly with a dismissive wave of her hand, as if I were arepulsive insectI thought of Kafkas Metamorpheses, and, jesting with myself, checked outmy legs to make sure I was still human.

Well, I have lived in this neighborhood for several years, and Im glad we are finally having ameeting in the neighborhood because there are things that can be done to improve it.

We come here all the time, she almost sneered. We do a lot of things but you dont see them.

By then I already felt disappointed, and was tempted to say, Yeah, youre right, we havent seenyour improvements, and thats too bad. But I held my tongue in hopes her frigid temperamentwould thaw.

Okay, lets sit down now, she commanded as several other invitees arrived. We only needed asmall table in the small caf. The following persons were present besides Ms. Bernstein andyours truly:

Denis Arthur Russ, founder and MBCDC Director of Community Development, presentpresident of the Flamingo Park Neighborhood Association. Mr. Russ, who has let his license topractice law lapse, is known as one of the Good Old Boys who run city department andneighborhood fiefdoms like their own country clubs. He is a mature, knowledgeable, and affablegentleman, and could be described as avuncular. He is quiet and reserved. I liked the man, for heat least made an effort to be friendly, immediately inviting me to one of his own neighborhoodsmeetings. And I was impressed by his I-tablet, which he toyed with during the meeting. But Iunderstand from his detractors that anyone interested in any changes besides the ones he wantshas tobe wary of him. He is said to be a viper in Mr. Gonzalezs great lawn. He has acquired areputation for quietly running things from behind the scenes, then suddenly biting anyone whosteps on his plans. He seemed to be in charge of some of Ms. Bernsteins actions during themeeting, as if he were her counselor. In fact, the first matter discussed at the meeting was their

long relationship in various city departments. I held my peace on that agenda item; I felt likesaying, That is the problem with this city, the same people have been running it for too long andhave grown arrogant and unaccountable.

Deborah Doty, police department spokeswoman. She is well liked in the community, and peoplewho have been around her describe her as a cool person. She is a relatively small, blackwoman with a winning smile. I found her to be honest and bright. Although, as the policedepartments communications officer she parrots the official line of rhetoric, she has notbought it whole hog. She knows bull when she hears it, and gets a twinkle in her eye whensomeone contests it. I felt some empathy from her as Ms. Bernstein and another attendee tried toshut me up. She has a sense of humor: during the small table talk, someone asked me how many

times I had been married, and I said I would like to marry a police officer because I understandfrom the New Times expose that they make $250,000 a year and an enormous annual retirementincome. That almost drew a smile from Ms. Bernstein, who would try to shush me every time Ispoke, but she caught herself and managed to hold fast to the ruling city cliques perspective, thatanyone who has a complaint or questions the administration has to be wrong and shushed.

George Castell is Code Compliance Administrator for the Code Compliance Division. He wasrecognized nearly 10 years ago by the City Commission for his 10 years of service, and, in 2000


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the Commission honored him for providing aid to a resident during an auto collision. I perceivedhim to be authoritarian, somewhat intimidating figure, and seemingly dense because he did notlisten well. He is not a bad guy, but is predisposed by the usual god-like attitude of powerfulbureaucrats: to take every pointed question and constructive suggestion as a blasphemouschallenge to his authority, hence to not listen carefully. Whenever I made a suggestion or tried to

respond to the claims about what a fine job the city was doing in my neighborhood, he tried toassist Mr. Bernstein in shushing me, identifying himself as a United States Marine who likes acertain order. I could see that any variance from the opinion that the received order was not theright order for public health angered him. He, like Ms. Bernstein, expected me to listen to the listof the issues and the things the city has done, maybe allow me to ask a single question, and thensay thank you, madam, thank you sir, and be dismissed. I got the impression that he may bewilling to help people, but that his help does not go very far. I opine that he has a conscience andis capable of changing his ways, despite being habituated to them. I sensed that his rank in thecommand structure, although supervisory, might be dangerous to his health.

Ramon D. Vasallo, Code Compliance Officer I for the Neighborhood Services Department, Mr.Castells subordinate was naturally deferential to his superior. He seemed to be a sincere andcaring individual, one who might make a good Code Compliance Administrator, but I will notsay that I liked him lest he suffer some underserved retaliation for being liked. I hope he movesup the ladder or gets out soon, as his chance of a heart attack in his severely deferential positionis perhaps twice that of the chief of police even if he does not smoke or drink. I told him I wouldnot like to be a compliance officer or a traffic cop, and that I admire people who can stand thatkind of job and do it fairly.

#

All in all, only 6 people including myself attended the meeting ostensibly held to discussneighborhood issues and to thus change the Seventh Heaven neighborhood if not the world! I

later discovered that the public was not really welcome, contrary to what my informant had said.A Google-session turned up a notice of the meeting on a private blog spot entitled Flaming ParkNeighborhood News, its purpose being to submit constructive comments on posted topics.

Conformity with constructive comments is conformity to the city administrations motto BeNiceDont Complain. If you simply want to destroy some evil, you are an enemy, and you willbe shushed. The bloggers stated, We look forward to building a better neighborhood with yourinput. Well, then, we can be sure who is controlling the construction, and its not the neighbors.

The website notice informed the few people aware of it that:

The Cityof Miami Beach Community Resource Outreach Team is coordinating a Walkabout in

the Sixth Street area to identify issues that impact the quality of life of area residents andbusinesses. Members of the Flamingo Park Neighborhood Association are invited toparticipate. That is, anyone who does not belong to the association pretending to represent thegood neighborhood to the north of Seventh Heaven is not invited. That is nearly everyone in myneighborhood including all the business persons around. Who do these people think they are,anyway?

Lets see now, said Ms. Bernstein, looking at a little note, dog waste is an issue.


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Yes, it is a big issue. May I make a suggestion about that?

Lets go on.

Excuse me. I would like to suggest new legislation that might help eliminate the problem.

We dont do that, she shook her head irately.

You cannot make a recommendation to the Commission?

We have a strong city manager system here, we dont do that.

Strong city manager, indeed, I thought. Boss Gonzalez from Hialeah is like a miniature BossPendergast or Boss Tweed, but without a power base in a black or immigrant electorate. Maybehe acts like a hidalgo out of insecurity, hence may be redeemed.

I just want to suggest that landlords be held responsible for waste on their property and out tothe curb regardless of its origin. Other cities have done that.

Hes talking about the quality-of-life ordinances in New York, Mr. Russ said. Take care ofthe little crimes and that will reduce the major ones. Giuliani was mayor then.

Yes, I affirmed. I was there. It was Brattons big idea to crack down on misdemeanors. - Idid not say that I despised Mayor Giuliani at the time, although my experiences in South Beachhave warmed me up to his purchase of the Broken Windows Theory.

Why dont you do some research? Ms. Bernstein asked.

What doesnt the city do some research? I responded. Will you please write my suggestiondown and ask the City Manager to recommend it to the Commission?

Ms. Bernstein would not budge.

Write it down, Mr. Russ said, and she made a note.

You cant do that. You have to witness the offense and call the number at Compliance forenforcement, interjected Mr. Castell.

I dont understand, I said. My whole apartment complex was surrounded by dog crap.Landlords around here advertise that big dogs are allowed and that there will be no backgroundchecks they prefer currency rent for obvious reasons. So I called Compliance and was told Iwould have to personally see an offense as it was occurring, grab the offender, call Complianceand wait for an officer to arrive.

What? Grab the offender?

Yes, grab. I dont believe a citizens arrest is allowed for such a thing. I kept insisting that theremust be some law that would hold a property owner responsible, and I was transferred to theboss.

That was me.


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Thank you. You were my hero for a week. An inspector came out and posted notices on allthree buildings of our complex, and I heard that our landlord was fined $1,500. There was noparticular dog or owner sighted - unidentified tenants and neighbors allowed their dogs to runfree and do their thing all around - but still the problem was resolved. After the fine, there hasbeen noproblem. So there is a case of holding the landlord responsible.

Im telling you, Mr. Castell huffed, that an offense has to be observed and a complaintmade.

Whatever, but I am recommending that legislation be passed that landlords be fined for wa steleft on properties and out to the curbs regardless of the origin of the waste, so neither the ownernor the dog nor the offense itself would have to be seen.

Look, let me ask you a question. If I was the judge, and you came before me, and I asked you ,did you see the owner and the dog, how would you answer?

Thats not the point, for Im suggesting new legislation.

Answer me, he ordered he was not listening or just did not get it.

My answer would be no, but.

Case dismissed.

Do you have undercover dog waste inspectors?

No. Look, I am a Marine, and I like order. This meeting must be in order, Mr. Castell spouted.

#

Homelessness is an issue, Ms. Bernstein declared. During our last walkabout I saw twohomeless people in need of medical attention and reached out to them. Everybody is entitled tothat.

Actually, we do not have a big homeless problem around here, I said. We have people livingin the alleys and sleeping where they can, but mostly they are not bothersome. We have someCuban homeless over in that alley. They fix bikes and cars and repair things to make somemoney. The big bother is where the money is, where the tourists are, where handouts aredemanded and vagrants lay around. We have just completed a photo essay of vagrants, aroundthe Walgreens on Collins, and on Washington Avenue.

Well, we reach out to help people over the long term, Ms. Bernstein said, for once expressing

genuine sympathy for the human race. I reached out to two people and got them medicalattention. Everybody deserves that.

I was not at the meeting to make trouble. I refrained from saying that some kinds of helpprovided seemed to help vagrants stay on the streets for many years, and that residents, touristsand merchants need to be reached out to since they find the situation appalling and conducive tocriminal activities, but the city is deaf to their demands for civility.


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One location most frequented by derelicts, vagrants drunks, addicts and petty criminals theyare not all homeless is the corner 9th Street and Washington, about 50 steps from theheadquarters of the MBCDC and across the street from Oceanside Extended Care, from whencea number alcoholics emerge, often in wheelchairs, to loiter at the bus stop on the corner. Theirpresence frequently creates a nuisance. Besides precluding passengers from Transit seating, the

panhandling, cursing, public drunkenness and drug abuse is an annoyance to residents, touristsand merchants. Complaints were recently made to the police department and to CommissionerMichael Gongora, about a particular individual who sleeps, urinates and defecates in the littlepublic parking lot at the corner, in plain view of the public. But the most frequent complaintabout him is his odorthere are showers on the beach two blocks away. People have expressed aconcern that he presents a health risk to the public. He has been around for at least a decade.Commissioner Gongora contacted the citys Homeless Services Division. Case Worker KatieKlose responded on July 8, 2010:

The Homeless Outreach Team went to 9th and Washington this afternoon and the individualwho is in the picture was not at this location. Our team knows this individual and we have helpedhim multiple times. I am unable to give details about the help we have provided but we willcontinue to assist this client.

The man was across the street from the police station at the time the outreach team was lookingfor him, and then he returned to the parking lot, where a merchant filmed him urinating in the lotthree well-dressed visitors then proceeded to openly urinate, laughing all the while.

Citizens think the help this man has received has actually kept him on the street, and they wanthelp removing him. On July 10, I informed Katie Klose in care of Commission Gongora that thehelp should come from the police department, and that misdemeanor laws should be strictlyenforced because lax enforcement tends to encourage violation of the laws of all sorts. Irecommended that volunteers be recruited to wheel wheelchair-bound patients to the beach

where they can enjoy the view and chatperhaps they can have a drink with the tourists.#

What is the biggest issue in the neighborhood and what can be done about it? asked Ms.Bernstein, reading from her notes, astounding me, that she would actually ask me a questionabout my own neighborhood.

Crime: One cause is the wall-to-wall bars on Washington Avenue, and it would help if many ofthem were closed down.

Oh, you know people come over the bridge and see how beautiful it is here, she said dreamily,

and they lose themselves.The crime rate is down since 2007, Officer Deborah Doty chanted the city line.

Things have gotten a lot better around here, and I appreciate the police department for that. Mycalls have been responded to quickly. But the situation is rapidly deteriorating again. A ladyfriend dumped me because she does not want to come into this neighborhood again, and she wasashamed that she was associated with someone who lives here. But I still love it.


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Crime is down in all areas, the major crimes.

I would like to see the statistic for all crimes, not just the major crime index, but the narcoticscrimes, and also the quality of life crimes, and the useful information about crimes. The citymanager reneged on his promise to get someone to provide that information. Anyhow, I wouldlike to recommend that surveillance cameras be placed in nuisance spots around here.

The crime rates are down, she reiterated.

Again, I was not at the meeting to make trouble. I could have noted that a crime rate can godown when laws are not enforced or laxly enforced. Instead, I cited some facts:

What about the knife fight in the alley right there last week or so, or the gun fight there a coupleof months ago? That part of the alley stinks so badly from human waste sometimes that peoplehave to cross the street. What about the woman that was dragged down the alley behind thegrocery store there, a block away, raped and stabbed? What about the woman that was stabbed inthe neck around 7th Street and Meridian at about six oclock the other morning? What of the

woman on the same block who was stabbed 17 times a while back by a man who was wanted formurder in Guatemala? What about the 23-year old with a long criminal record who was shot todeath a week ago in that nightclub over there? I forgot to mention that the restaurant where wewere sitting, the Las Olas Caf, had been robbed recently, and that the manager of the place saidshe had been terrorized just the night before.

Im glad youre askingabout those things, Officer Doty said with a smile.

Thats enough, Ms. Bernstein said, ordering me to be quiet, insisting that we move on.

But look behind you, right over there.

Shush!

You shush. You and your citymanager should shut up and listen. Look right behind you, on thecorner, there is a violation in process, someone who must be reached out to.

I was pointing at a man who had been living in his car near the corner for two years, urinating inbottles and defecating in bags, which he threw along with other trash onto the curb. He was justgetting out of his car, half dressed. He had gotten himself a residential parking ticket so his carwould not be towed. He had obtained temporary parking permits during Urban Ghetto Week,probably from someone in Compliance, and sold them to visitors. Some residents brought himfood, but many residents had complained about the waste and parking situation to complianceofficers, who said they could do nothing about him.

Officer Doty waved her magic wand. Suddenly three detectives were on him, flashing badges.Both he and his car were gone within 5 minutes, and we have not seen his car since.

You should have told us about this. We need the peoples help. Officer Doty said.

Thats right, Mr. Castell chimed in. We depend on people to keep us informed so we canenforce the law.


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You could go to our Citizen Academy, Ms. Bernstein said.

Im already a citizen, and I do what I can to help. And that has put me at risk. A police offermistakenly came to my door the other night after making two arrests. After he left, the drugdealers in the apartment in front of me came out and pointed me to the Honduran dope dealersnext door, who were relatives of one of the busted men. A citizen I am, but I would not want tobe a leader given what I have seen thus farI was getting a little angry at the suggestion to betheir good little citizenso please dont send me to your Leadership Academy, I would beruined.

Look, this guy living in the car, I continued, has been living there for about two years, andhas been littering the curb. Everybody knows it, the Parking Enforcement guys who hang outhere know him, the sanitation workers know he is there, the cops see him all the time, peoplehave complained, sent in emails, nothing was done.

I could care less if someone lives in their car and keeps the place clean. He did not, but I hadonly complained about the selling of residential parking permits by the man, because I felt that

was a crime and perhaps one abetted by a compliance officer.As for reporting things to Officer Doty, I had stopped sending email on various subjects. If shehad answered one particular email with quotable material, I would have written a brilliant essayin response to the New Times expose denigrating the whole police department, but she onlyresponded once, to say she was out in the field. She is out in the field a lot. She is virtually atelevision star. Still, I prefer email because peoples memories fail them and they mistakenlyclaim they said or did not say something. Furthermore, I dont like phones because they areexpensive and people want to talk all day because they can afford the unlimited plans.

#

Ms. Bernstein had given up on even trying to run the meeting according to the agenda she wasreferring to. I felt a bit sorry for her. She looked weary. She was just trying to follow the usualprocedure, and, alas, a pesky insect from the neighborhood actually showed up and insisted onbuzzing around.

We do not selectively enforce the code, Mr. Castell said out of the clear blue.

Why in the world did he say that? I wondered to myself, astonished. Melville used to ask,Coincidence or God? Or was it that notion Jung came up with, whatdo you call it?

As a matter of fact, I have evidence, some of it photographic, of selective enforcement of thecode, and the persons fined believe they may have been discriminated against because of their

Muslim religion. Of all the outside umbrellas on sidewalk cafes that have the Coca Cola nameand symbolic bottle on them, including one across the street, Crazee Olive was the only placefined.

What? Where is that? Mr. Castell proceeded to draw a map.

Here.

Oh, that guy, Mohsen, indicating he knewone of the partners.


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Good bye, Ms. Bernstein said, getting up and leaving.

The others followed suit. Mr. Russ actually shook my hand. There would be no walkabout of myneighborhood that day. But the day was lovely, the Sun having come through, so I decided to domy own Walkabout, on Washington Avenue, and to interview restaurant owners to see what theythink about the Code Compliance Division, its officers and administrator. I got an earful, so staytuned.

south beach las olas cafe conference report

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