speaking the truth in love part 2

SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE PART 2

CORRECTION COACHING AND

ENCOURAGEMENT

but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ,

Ephesians 4:15

In this age of instantaneous communication we have become used to communication that is one dimensional.

To grab our attention it has to be able to be grasped in one second or less. The meaning has to be no more than the words say.

It cannot require thought to understand it. It can contain no more than one message. It cannot have any subtleties.

It is not surprising that the most common communication on the planet today is in the form of a “text message” on our cell phones, a “status update” on facebook or a “tweet” on Twitter.

The problem with this emphasis on single purpose communication is it is like eating junk food. Feed someone junk food every day and soon healthy food no longer appeals to them.

The Bible is not a text message, status update or a tweet from God. If we read it as such we will not be able to gain the riches it intends to bestow on us.

The Bible is God’s Wisdom.

When I was a son to my father,Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, 4 Then he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live;

Proverbs 4:3-4 (NASB)

Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.6 “Do not forsake her, and she will guard you;Love her, and she will watch over you.


The primary thing is wisdom Acquire wisdom;And with all your acquiring, get understanding.

Proverbs 4:8 (NASB)

“Prize her, and she will exalt you; She will honor you if you embrace her. 9 “She will place on your head a garland of grace; She will present you with a crown of beauty.”


Hear, my son, and accept my sayings And the years of your life will be many.11 I have directed you in the way of wisdom;I have led you in upright paths.


When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;And if you run, you will not stumble.13 Take hold of instruction; do not let go.Guard her, for she is your life.


Words of Wisdom must be continually reflected on to bring forth their meaning. Their meaning is found by continually meditating on them. We find their applications as we spend time with them.

The word meditate today might sound like something straight out of the New Age. It is not. Thousands of years before the Maharishi taught the Beatles to chant the names of Hindu gods and called it meditation the principle of true meditation was taught to Joshua.

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

Joshua 1:8 (NKJV)

The word God used to tell Joshua what to do with His word in Hebrew is והגית (hagitah). It

comes from the root הגה (hagah) which means to meditate, to muse, to speak, to utter, to mutter, to moan, to groan, to growl, to roar, to plot, to devise and to imagine.

The concept is that we are to be continually interacting with the words God gives us – spiritually, mentally, and physically -- in a lifelong seeking to apply them to our lives. As we do so we find in them the riches of their wisdom. With that in mind let’s look at our first scripture again.


Ephesians 4:15

As we look at the message we see that we are clearly told to grow up. We are also told how to grow up. Further we are told what it looks like to grow up.


Ephesians 4:15

Last time I spoke I shared with you how by speaking the truth about ourselves with each other we find an amazing path to freedom.

Today I want to go further and share two of the most important understandings I have found in this scripture to personally grow up and to help others grow up into the likeness of Jesus.

Correction and Encouragement

Both absolutely require that we speak the truth with love to each other.

As I have said before it is easy to speak the truth and it is easy to “love” without expressing truth.

They represent our human tendencies to Fight (speak the truth without love) or Flee (maintain absolute silence for love’s sake).

While these to polar opposite communication forms may seem to deal with relationship conflict well they actually kill relationships completely.

One person has to die in each situation for the relationship to continue. In fighting the aggressor lives alone. In fleeing the one fleeing dies in silence.

As Christians we are not to fight or flee we are to stand. That is the position when we speak the truth in love.

By doing so we open the door for growth for ourselves and for others.

We will never grow if we will not receive correction.

For this command is a lamp,this teaching is a light,and correction and instructionare the way to life,

Proverbs 6:23 (NIV)

Correction and instructionare the way to life…..

Since Correction and Instruction are the way to life what attitude should we have toward them?

Do you like to breath?Do you like to eat?If your boat crashed in the middle of the ocean would you be grateful for and hang on to the life raft? Would you grab hold of the life line from the helicopter that came to rescue you?

But if you are at all like me I have not always perceived correction and instruction like these things. But the Bible says they are even more involved in keeping us alive than these things are.

With that thought in mind let me ask you a very personal question. Do you allow people to speak to you the truth about yourself as they see you? Especially those who really know you and love you? More than allowing people to speak the truth to you do you passionately pursue them to speak it to you?

When people do speak the truth – especially those who do so because they love you – do you reward them with honor by listening carefully in a state of humility? Do you thank them for taking the risk of telling you the truth? Or do you stop your ears and silence them through aggression or playing the victim?

When people speak the truth to us because they love us we are being given a priceless gift.

Even when our adversaries speak it to us in bitterness it can still be a priceless gift. They may give us an even more accurate picture of how we look because they would not hold back anything like those who love us might.

If you have not been overly excited about this aspect of the Christian life then could I challenge you today to become so. It is a way for you to make incredible advancement in your growth as a Christian. See it as it is. You are destined for greatness but you will never achieve it without others speaking the truth to you to help you get there.

Like an amazing athlete has never won gold without being ready to listen to and practice what they have heard from their coaches and fellow athletes, you cannot win the prize without letting others “coach” you.

I now want to talk about our call to be “coached” and to be “coaches”. To do so I want us to visit Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle:

FISH! Culture First clip.flv

FISH! Culture Second clip).flv

Coaching is the fundamental way Pike Place Fish market became the most famous fish market in the world. You might ask what does a secular fish market have to do with my life in God. They took principles God laid down centuries before and used them to change their workplace into a place they loved to be.

The concept is simple. They set down behavior goals everyone from the boss to the part time employees are to meet every minute of everyday.When they see each other not living up to those goals they ask permission to “coach” them. They provide their “coaching” in a positive, encouraging communication and then invite their colleague to respond.

In three studies of the concept of mutual coaching used in Pike’s Peak Fish Market in Seattle they found these amazing results:

Study 1:

Training alone increased productivity by 22.4 percent, whereas training and follow-up coaching increased productivity by 88 percent!

Study 2:

Coaching produced a 529% return on investment as well as significant intangible benefits.

Study 3:

Results from coaching include increased self-awareness 68%, better goal-setting 62%, lower stress levels 57%, increased confidence 52%, enhanced communication skills 40% and better relationship with co-workers 33%.

While correction and instruction are so vital in a coaching role, the most important gift a coach can give to his athletes is inspiration. This clip is from Remember the Titans

Remember the Titans Gettysburg - YouTube2.flv

A primary tool to build inspiration in people is in your mouth at this very moment. You have the potential to change a person’s destiny as you use this tool. If you use it well you can see changed relationships, workplace environments, homes, churches, cities and even nations. It is the gift of God’s encouragement through you.

Philipians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true,

whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Sometimes in the meanness of spirit that religion can inculcate in people we lose the very beauty of Christ’s message.

We can become negative a shrill people who only relate to others in a condemning way. But that is not the way Jesus would have us be.

He tells us all of our communication is to bring grace to the hearers.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Encouraging words are always the place where Grace and Truth meet each other.

Lovingkindness and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed each other. Psalm 85:10

Encouraging words are the place where the weak are given strength.

Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2

Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.

Romans 15:1-2

Encouraging words reflect the truth of God and the Grace of God in full measure and that is the very nature of Jesus Christ.

For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.John 1:17

Encouraging words never ultimately tear down a person though they often tear them away from wrong behaviour.

They always give grace to others without sacrificing truth.

They are the voice of Jesus through us, drawing out of others what God sees in them.

That is the gift of encouragement God has put in us to give to others.

Prayer Points:If you have never accepted Jesus do so today.Commit to grow up into Jesus by speaking the truth in love and letting others do the same with you.Pray that God would remove ungodly negativity out of your life and replace it with positive encouragement in every aspect of your life.Pray that God would daily give you words of encouragement for everyone you meet…. Especially those closest to you.Commit for the next thirty days to only speak words of encouragement.Pray that God would send coaches into your life and that you would be willing to let them coach you.Pray that God would let you be a coach to others and that you would have a life giving effect on them.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

I Thessalonians 5:11

TO BE UNITED WITH CHRIST MEANS WE ARE ENCOURAGERS

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,

Philippians 2:1

then make my joy complete by being like‑minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Philippians 2:2

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:23

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:4

WE ENCOURAGE AS A RESULT OF OUR OF COMMITMENT

I want you to know how much I am struggling for you and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not met me personally.

Colossians 2:1

My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, Colossians 2:2

in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Colossians 2:2

ENCOURAGEMENT BRINGS AND BUILDS AND UNITY

Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.“

Romans 15:2

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Romans 15:4 5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

Romans 15:5

so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Romans 15:6-7

ENCOURAGEMENT GROWS OUT OF LOVE

I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds. 2 Corinthians 7:4 5 For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn‑‑conflicts on the outside, fears within. 6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.

For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn‑‑conflicts on the outside, fears within.

2 Corinthians 7:5

But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus,

2 Corinthians 7:6

and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever. 2 Corinthians 7:6

ENCOURAGE OTHERS DAILY

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today . . .

Hebrews 3:13

ENCOURAGE THOSE WHO ARE STRUGGLING WITH SELF CONFIDENCE And we urge you, brothers, . . . encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.


DON'T BE AFRAID TO PRAISE - GOD COMMANDS IT Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:31

GOD COMMANDS OTHERS NOT TO PRAISE THEMSELVESIF YOU DON'T PRAISE THEM WHO WILL? Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.

Proverbs 27:2

DON'T JUST THINK IT - SAY IT! Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

Proverbs 27:5

ENCOURAGE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENTNOT OUTWARD THINGS WHICH OTHERS HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR Similarly, encourage the young men to be self‑controlled.

Titus 2:6

FOCUS ON THE GOOD - THEN SAY IT TO THE PERSON IN WHOM YOU SEE IT! Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable‑‑if anything is excellent or praiseworthy‑‑think about such things. Philippians 4:8

ESPECIALLY ENCOURAGE THOSE WHO WORK CLOSEST WITH YOU But your assistant, Joshua son of Nun, will enter it. encourage him, because he will lead Israel to inherit it.

Deuteronomy 1:38

REWARD FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS WITH PRAISE Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. 2 I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings, just as I passed them on to you.

I Corinthians 11:1

REWARD A JOB WELL DONE WITH PRAISE "`Well done, my good servant!' his master replied. `Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.'

Luke 19:17

COMMUNICATE GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE WORK YOU ARE DOING TOGETHER Tychicus, the dear brother and faithful servant in the Lord, will tell you everything, so that you also may know how I am and what I am doing. 22 I am sending him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage you.

Ephesians 6:21

SHARE YOUR VISION OF THE FUTURE For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage each other with these words.


SHARE WHAT GOD IS TEACHING YOU TO MAKE YOU A MORE EFFECTIVE WORKER FOR HIM . . . encourage others by sound doctrine. . .

Titus 1:9

PRINCIPLE:Our mouths speak what is in our hearts

Luke 6:45a

"The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil;

Luke 6:45b

for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true,

whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

speaking the truth in love part 2

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