©NCT 2014 Alexandra House, Oldham Terrace London W3 6NH, Registered charity no. 801395

Spring 2014 Issue 129

Covering North Derbyshire, Bakewell and the Hope Valley

Chesterfield Branch

In this issue

“We are family” Daddy Daycare

Becoming a grandma

Motherhood: things lost and things found

Better Children’s menus

Places to eat with and without the kids Plus our regular features...New Arrivals,

Infant Feeding Advice and Breastfeeding Help lines, Meet a Member and More!

Members meet to start an NCT walk

Please don’t throw me away, pass me on to a friend today!

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Advertising

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In this issue...

6-7 Places to Go - We review great places to go in and around

Chesterfield.

8 New Arrivals—We welcome some new NCT babies

12-13 Recipe ideas to make and share

13 Ruth’s page: infant Feeding Update

14-15 Daddy Daycare—Steve shares some tips

22-23 Expecting the Unexpected

24-25 Caroline’s Birth Story

29 Meet a member of the NCT

30-31 Mother Love : things lost and things found

32-33 Ask an Expert - our experts answer your questions

34 Your Committee Contact Details

Patter Chesterfield Branch Newsletter

Spring 2014

Issue 129

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...From the editor

Hello and Welcome to Patter!

Hello and Welcome to the Spring 2014 edition of Patter. As ever, this magazine

is your magazine. I’m always looking for articles, reviews, birth stories and

suggestions. If you’d like to share a story with us, please do contact me!

This edition’s birth story is one of a peaceful, calm and controlled entry to the

world by virtue of an elective caesarean—thanks so much to Caroline for sharing

her experience, I hope it reassures any readers who are planning a caesarean or

end up with one that having a positive birth experience isn’t exclusively for

those people lucky enough to have uncomplicated vaginal deliveries.

This spring our Nearly New Sales are moving to a fabulous new venue in Hasland.

Easily accessible on public transport but with plenty of free parking we hope our

new venue should make bagging bargains even easier than ever. If you want to

sell at the sale on April 5th or you’d like to help out on the day please get in

touch with Helen our sales co-ordinator (see advert on page 4 for details).

On the subject of volunteers I’d like to say a huge thank you on behalf of the

committee to everyone who helps out with nearly new sales, we quite literally

cannot run the sales without you. As a branch we’ve come perilously close to

closing on more than one occasion over the past 3 years due to lack of people

willing to run the branch. If you could spare a few hours of your time over the

course of a few months and want to know more please, please get in touch or talk

to a committee member at the next Nearly New Sale or post in our facebook

group.

Tara

Volunteers Wanted!!! Do you feel you have something to offer your local NCT branch?

Volunteering needn’t be time consuming and it can be a good way of making

friends and building confidence and enjoying your new role as a parent.

We need volunteers to fill key roles or just to write an article for Patter or help

out at our nearly new sales etc.

Contact us at chesterfieldnctpatter@gmail.com if you would like to help.

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We review some top places to visit locally

Every issue we share some of our favourite places to go with small people in tow. Let us know if there’s a place you’d like us to feature at chesterfieldnctpatter@gmail.com

Regent House, Dale Road, Matlock

Our favourite place to go for a family weekend lunch. Situated just behind Hall

Leys Park and in the heart of Matlock’s junk/antique shop row, this old fashioned

cafe serves delicious speciality coffees and teas, mouthwatering cakes and has a

daytime sandwich/salad menu which has something for everyone. There are 3

rooms and one at the back has loads of space between the tables for buggies and

there are two big high chairs. Plastic plate and cups provided on asking. Sadly

the antique till l which made paying every more exciting for kids has finally

bitten the dust but it’s still a great lunch venue.

Nonnas, Chatsworth Road

Probably better known as a swanky evening cocktail or date night bar-restaurant,

Nonnas offer a great early evening menu. From 5-7pm adults can have two

courses for £11.95 and the children’s menu is excellent and includes a main, a

pudding, a drink, a colouring activity and being made to feel like a proper grown

up by the incredibly welcoming staff. Wander in and lose yourself imagining

you’re actually in Italy on a well deserved holiday rather than a frazzled parent

trying to sort out some tea for the kids

The Hub Cafe, Dronfield

The cafe has moved from Callywhite Lane to a new home just by the independent

shoe shop. The menu is very reasonably priced but the best bit is the huge kids

corner with safety matting, jigsaws, books and toys. At £1.25 for a huge

Americano whilst the kids play and entertain themselves I think it may be the

best value coffee in Derbyshire

Chesterfield Canal

For a brilliant buggy friendly walk with ducks to feed and a safe flattish path to

practice scooting or bicycling Chesterfield Canal takes some beating. For a

steady 3 mile stroll park at Tapton Lock and walk up towards Hollingwood where

there’s the lovely volunteer run Nona’s cafe open Wed-Sun (and Bank Holiday

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We review some top places to visit locally

Mondays.) Alternately for the less energetic, there’s a car park at Hollingwood

hub beside the cafe so you get to have tea and cake and a shorter stroll.

Designate @ The Gate, Smedley Street Matlock

The top solution to a wet Saturday afternoon with the kids must be this brilliant

free Lego Club which runs from 130-330 where children can indulge their inner

structural engineer whilst mums and dads get to chill out with the papers and

drink a reasonably priced cuppa or have a cheeky pint of beer. They also run a

craft class (£1) at 330 on a Saturday and show films on a Tuesday, the 1030am

showing being very suitable for small people. In half term week they are planning

lots of activities for school age children and in the summer there’s a wonderful

“beach” outside at the back.

One to Watch Out for... You tell us! Is there somewhere near you that’s worth a visit? A place you’d like

to see more people attending cause it’s just so fantastic? Contact us at Patter

and we’ll come to review!

Are You Reading This? Then so will your customers

Are you a local business that needs to reach families? Patter is

produced by families for families and has a circulation of two

issues a year covering Chesterfield, Bakewell, Matlock and Hope

Valley. Contact us: nctpatter@yahoo.com

If you would like to sponsor an issue this costs £35 +VAT per issue as well as

the cost of an advert inside the magazine and allows you to have your company

name, logo etc in colour on the front cover.

Ex VAT Inc VAT

(@ 20%)

1 year

(2 issues)

Ex VAT

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(2 issues)

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(Colour)

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New Arrivals

Each issue we announce as many births as we hear about from members of the

NCT. We’re looking forward to sharing in your special news and sharing it for you

so if you’ve had a special delivery recently, why not let us know

chesterfieldnctpatter@gmail.com

So special CONGRATULATIONS and WELCOME to our New Arrivals…

Emma & Steve -Darcie Grace 01.02.14

Lindsey & David - Estelle 4.01.14

Ivona & Clive - Klara Marie 17.12.13

Joanna & Daniel - Alexander Christopher 28.01.14

Anna & David - Charlotte Grace 29.11.13

Claire & Adam - Penelope Jayne 17.12.13

Kim & Liam - Elizabeth Jane 27.11.13

Aimi & Adam - Aureilia Bree 13.13.13

Best wishes to you all from Patter xxx

Disclaimer

The following words and phrases used within Patter are all Trademarks:

NCT, National Childbirth Trust, Bumps and Babies, Patter

Chesterfield Branch Newsletter ©NCT 2014

The National Childbirth Trust, Registered Office, Alexandra House, Oldham

Terrace, London, W3 6NH

Registered No. 2370573 Charity No. 801395

The line art graphics used within Patter are all copyright and permission to

use them must be gained from Michelle Lancaster. No photographs may be

reproduced without permission from Chesterfield NCT.

The views expressed in this Newsletter are not necessarily those of the editors

or the National Childbirth Trust (NCT). Also, the appearance of an

advertisement in this Newsletter does not imply endorsement of the company

or its products by the NCT, nor does it constitute a recommendation.

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COLOUR AD HERE

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Advertising: Swim babes

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Susie Bayley is an inner city GP and mother of 2. Having always been passionate about food and health she became increasingly disillusioned with the standard of children’s food when eating out with her young family. Inspired to make a difference she created betterchil-drensmenus.com: an online campaign to improve children’s food, promote progressive eateries and a community for parents passionate about feeding their children well.

Eating out with children can be tough: irrational crying, arguments about food choice

and food flung everywhere, and that’s just the parents! Cross the channel and there is

a marked difference. Children are welcomed with open arms, they seem to behave im-

peccably and children in good restaurants are commonplace. So why the difference?

Our food culture is obviously very different, and I do feel that in part this is due to

the value we place on children’s food in the UK. Most restaurants and cafes menus are

stuck in the 1980s: a fried offering served with the ubiquitous servings of chips and

peas. I appreciate that offering a child a plate of salad when you go out for a meal will

go down about as well as stealing their light-sabre, but we can improve the quality and

add healthier options.

For these reasons http://betterchildrensmenus.com was founded. I want to encourage

eateries to take a second look at their menus and see if they could do better. Those

who are already progressive are promoted on the site; these restaurants and cafes

commit to the following on their children’s menu:

Better choice: An increase in the breadth of child menus. Where possible, offer-

ing smaller portions of adult dishes (particularly where special dietary require-

ments exist e.g. dairy allergy/coeliac disease)

Better ingredients: Using fresh produce and avoiding processed food with addi-

tives, preservatives and excess salt

Better for them: Having some dishes which are healthier options

We’re also a community for parents to swap tips and let the industry know what they

would like to see on children’s menus.

There are some huge names that have agreed to our pledge: Rick Stein’s and Mark Hix’s

restaurants. In addition we have a few Michelin starred venues and national chains, but

WE WANT MORE! So parents, let us know about great local eateries that are already

looking after our children’s interests. I will then contact them and see if they will join

us. Hopefully by celebrating progressive restaurants, we can encourage others to

change.

http://betterchildrensmenus.com

betterchildrensmenus@gmail.com Susie Bayley

Better Children’s Menus

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Uncle Richard’s Chicken (for two grownups and two smaller people)

A fabulous introduction to very mild curry much loved by the editor’s baby

and courtesy of her Indian Uncle Richard

2 onions (chopped)

Small piece of ginger (chopped)

2 cloves garlic (chopped finely)

400g Tin of tomatoes or a carton of passata

1 tsp turmeric

6 skinless chicken thighs

Put one onion, the garlic and ginger in a small processor (or pestle and mortar)

and blend to a paste. Add the turmeric and pulse again quickly.

Fry the other onion in some vegetable oil until it is translucent and then add the

chicken pieces and spice paste and fry gently til the chicken is sealed on the out-

side (don’t burn the spice paste)

Whizz the tinned tomatoes in the processor (no need if using passata) and add to

the pan with salt and pepper to taste.

Simmer for 40-60 minutes

Serve scattered with fresh coriander with rice (and peas)

Oaty Yoghurty Bircher Muesli (Feeds one hungry mummy or two toddlers)

100ml natural or fruit yoghurt

40g porridge oats

75ml milk

Small handful frozen blueberries or raspberries (or fresh)

Honey or maple syrup to serve

The night before eating, mix the yoghurt, oats and milk together in a bowl. Add

the frozen berries (if using fresh berries wait til tomorrow to add them) and mix

well. Leave in the fridge overnight. At breakfast time add fresh berries if using,

drizzle with maple syrup or honey (remembering honey shouldn’t be given to ba-

bies under 12 months old)

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Local NCT Breastfeeding Counsellors

Jo Glossop 01246 559484 Ruth Oscroft 01246 450074

Sophie (Sheffield) 0114 2683520 Susan (Buxton) 01298 214213

National Helpline 0844 2090920 Breastfeeding Network 0844 412 4664

National Childbirth Trust 0300 3300771 Supporterline in Bengali /

Sylheti

07944879759

La Leche League 08451202918 Association of

Breastfeeding Mothers

0844 412 2949

Ruth’s Page—Infant feeding

Responsive feeding is fast becoming a recognised phrase when talking about in-

fant feeding and relates to both breast and bottle-feeding, For many years we

have practised ‘demand feeding’ or ‘baby-led feeding’ and simply followed the

baby’s cues for feeding. We recognise that demand and supply are closely linked

and that feeding frequently helps increase the milk supply.

Responsive feeding is all inclusive. Feeding in response to baby’s feeding cues is

important and these cues include stirring, mouth opening, rooting and sucking fin-

gers. Crying is a much later cue and baby will need time to calm down before be-

ing ready to feed. In addition to responding to the baby’s needs, it is important

for a mother to be responsive to her own needs, such as breastfeeding when her

breasts are full, or for her own convenience. Breastfeeding does allow for free-

dom and flexibility.

It is also recognised as important that bottle-fed babies (breastmilk or infant

formula) are fed responsively.

Here are some of the main points:

Hold baby close, talk to her (him).

Gently touch baby’s top lip with the teat to encourage rooting and when

their mouth is open let baby draw in the teat, don’t force it.

Stay focussed on the baby and watch for signals that baby is ready for a

natural pause during the feed.

Recognise when baby has had enough (pushes teat out with the tongue).

Limit the number of people who give the bottle-feeds.

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Feature: Daddy Daycare

Patter interviews Steven Hillier, entertainer in chief to 16 month old Scarlett

Tell us about yourself I work 3 days a week and I look after our 16 month old toddler the other 2 days. My

wife Emma works full time although she’s just started maternity leave as we are

awaiting the birth of our second child. I work as a designer at Rolls-Royce and when

Scarlett was born thought that it might be nice for me to spend a couple of days a

week with her so we could go out and do fun things! Giving up a full time role wasn’t an

easy decision and initially I found it difficult to adjust to not being in work as much and

not be available for meetings that I would have ordinarily attended.

What sort of things do you do? Luckily, there is lots to do in the Chesterfield area. We have a dog called Ruby and

when the weather is nice we take her for a walk in the park. Rainy days often mean a

trip to the local soft play centre and we particularly like Planet Happy in Ripley because

it has quite a large area for small children who are not confident walkers. I often get

chance to chat with other parents too and it gives Scarlett the chance to play and

interact with other children.

We like to go swimming at Alfreton Leisure centre. The baby pool is great and has toys

and floats for the children to use. I have a waterproof camera that I take with me

sometimes to capture the fun we have so that Emma can have a look when she gets

home from work. I always seek permission from the centre manager to do this before

we enter the pool area and they are generally fine providing there is nobody else in the

shot. Once out of the pool I strap Scarlett into the small child seat that is at the side

of the showers, it’s a really handy addition because it allows me to get showered in the

knowledge that Scarlett is safe. I make sure that I have some warm milk to hand for

when Scarlett is dried off because she’s usually tired and thirsty by the time we’re

both dressed.

Sometimes Scarlett and I can spend the morning in the house. I cover lounge carpet

with paper and tape the edges together, this creates a large surface for us to draw,

colour and make markings on – its usually a great hit. At mealtimes I sit Scarlett in her

high chair and have her next to me as I prepare the food, I think its useful for

children to observe how food is prepared and observe how adults deal with knives and

utensils. I find that it keeps her distracted for a while. Scarlett loves music and so

having the radio on helps entertain her. She likes to body pop to the tunes.

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Feature: Daddy Daycare

What sort of things do you find difficult? The first time I went out with Scarlett, I felt quite apprehensive that at any moment

she could erupt into tears and it’d be down to me to make everything better. When out

I always have a well stocked bag. Aside from the usual paraphernalia I make sure I

carry a bottle of milk, a favourite toy and some nibbles (tangerines, dried fruit,

biscuits). At the moment, we’re in the process of babyproofing our home. I didn’t

quite realise the speed in which a toddler can get from one side of the room to the

other! We found some decent second hand baby gates and have them installed on the

stairs and in the living room. I also came across some cushioned edging strip by

Clevamama which is a roll of handy stuff that can be stuck to the corners of a coffee

table in order to prevent little heads from getting injured should they fall onto it. We

have a log burner and one of my biggest fears was that Scarlett would fall onto it. We

managed to get a brilliant fireguard from Kiddicare which extends the full length of

the hearth and creates a sturdy barrier. It’s got an open top and therefore adults can

reach in to re-stock the fire.

Sleepless nights also have to be high up on the list of the things I found difficult.

When Scarlett was born I told my wife that she must have some ‘special mummy

hormones’ that enabled her to awake up five times a night and still be able to function

the next day. When she returned to work I had to take a greater part in the night

time routine. I know some parents adopt a ‘no milk’ policy overnight for babies over a

certain age on the basis that they shouldn’t require it. We’ve had a bit more of a

relaxed approach to Scarlett and had an agreement that if she woke during the night

we would leave her for no longer than ten minutes, if after this time she was still upset

then she would be offered some milk. We found that unless she was ill, this would

generally be sufficient to settle her. I’m pleased to say that she is quite a good little

sleeper now and it’s relatively infrequent that we find ourselves awake in the small

hours

Have you got any advice to new parents? Go with your own instinct! People tend to fall over themselves to tell you how well their

children ate, slept, walked, became potty trained etc…..but its important to remember

that every child is different and your child will get there at their own pace. We tried

to celebrate the little things that Scarlett did and didn’t get bogged down with the

detail of ‘oooh, she’s not rolled over yet’ or ‘she can’t quite sit up on her own’. The baby

phase passes so quickly and if you spend too much time obsessing about what your child

isn’t doing then you can risk missing out on what they are doing. Parenting is a tough

job, it requires a huge amount of energy and organisation. I think the key is not to get

too wound up; just accept the things that can’t be changed (because there will be

many!) and retain your energy for the things you can do to make daily life a bit easier.

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Advertorial—Amanda McConnell Photography

My love of photography started back in the 80s when I bought my first SLR

camera and studied photography in the days of film and dark rooms!

After 20 years of travelling and working in different parts of the world, photo-

graphing local people in their natural environments, my passion has become even

stronger!

Turning 40 saw me re-evaluate my life and what I wanted to do when I returned

to work after starting a family. I knew that I still wanted to help people in my

new career but in a different way to helping them learn new skills. Inside my

head a little voice kept saying to me ‘Amanda, what is it you LOVE doing?’ And

the only answer that kept coming back to me was PHOTOGRAPHY! Feeling that

life was too short to look back with regrets, I decided to take a leap of faith and

set up my own photography business - Amanda McConnell Photography. So far,

I’ve not looked back and hope I never do, as I absolutely love my job photograph-

ing Babies, Children & Families as a Family Lifestyle Photographer. I am based in

Chesterfield but work with clients throughout Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire and

South Yorkshire who value quality photography and who want something differ-

ent and special from their Family Lifestyle Photo Shoot experience.

My aim is to capture you and your family as you truly are, in the comfort of your

home or at a beautiful location. This means that my clients can feel relaxed in

places they are happy to be in and the children have the space to explore and

play, so I can capture those special childhood moments whilst everyone has lots

of fun together. There are no studio lights, no artificial backdrops, no cheesy

poses and no false smiles. Just you, me, my camera and beautiful, natural light.

When you book a photo session with me, you're not just booking a photographer,

but someone who takes a lot of pride in their work, who is truly passionate about

what they do and who pays great attention to the small details. So whichever

photo session you book with me, you can be assured of a special, individual ex-

perience from start to finish.

I pride myself on creating beautiful, timeless images that you will fall in love

with, that will bring you smiles everyday of your life and that will give you a life-

time of memories you can look back on and share with their children as they

grow!

Let me show you how we can work together to capture some wonderful memories

for you and your family to treasure for a lifetime . . . it’s time to capture your

story. Amanda x

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NCT Mission Statement

The NCT offers information and support in pregnancy and early parenthood. We aim to give every parent the chance to make informed choices. We try to make sure that services, activities, and membership are fully accessible

to everyone.

Donations to support our work are welcome.

Support Group

Parenting Additional Needs is excited to be joining force with ChesterfieldNCT

to help spread the word and offer much needed support to parent carers.

Parenting Additional Needs was set up 2 years ago by Emily Brailsford and is run

solely by parents of children with an additional need. We offer monthly support

group meetings with professional speakers,day trips out and fundays for the

whole family. When founder Emily first started the group it was based

in Matlock but it soon became apparent there was such a need for this service

elsewhere, that Parenting Additional Needs has grown and grown. We now have

well established groups in Matlock and Chesterfield as well as a new group which

opened in Ashbourne early this year with our new partnership we hope to have

groups opening throughout Derbyshire.

A special needs child can change the whole family's life so we are also running a

siblings art journal course which is a 6 week programme and is aimed to help sib-

lings deal with their feeling and emotions. Its also a great opportunity to make

friends with other children who have a disabled sibling. Please feel free to pop

along to one of our meetings. All dates,times and locations are updated regularly

on the Facebook page or our website (www.parentingadditionalneeds.org.uk) or

give us a call on 07980 762778

Calling parents with a

child with additional

needs...

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Feature

Expecting the Unex-

Nothing prepares you for the birth of a baby….the trauma yet miracle of giving

birth, the endless sleepless nights, the tears and separation anxiety when you

have to be parted for the first time and the huge waves of emotion which wash

over you when you least expect it……and that’s just being the grandma!

I became a grandma to George last June, or to be more precise, became Mamie

Lou lou. Inspired by two of our French grandmas at the day nursery which I run,

I considered that this made me sound both younger and more glamorous. Having

been so excited about the impending addition to our family I was thrilled to be

in the hospital as George made his appearance and to meet him almost immedi-

ately. What I hadn’t anticipated was feeling the same emotions as a new

grandma as I had experienced as a new mum. I was completely overwhelmed as I

held the tiny bundle and I was back to nearly thirty years ago with the birth of

my first son. When visiting was over the proud new parents were concerned

about me as I burst into tears reluctant to leave!

I have always had a great relationship with my daughter in law, but as we now

share the same experience we are even closer and I delight in seeing her develop

into a confident caring mother. In the early days of pregnancy, when she was be-

ing bombarded with conflicting opinion on how to care for a baby, I had sug-

gested that she ignored all well meaning advice….apart from mine of course! Fol-

lowing your own instinct, safe in the knowledge that your baby and yourself are

happy and safe was something I’d realised by the time I had my third child.

What most surprised me though was the confidence of my son as a new dad. As a

baby he had been ‘hard work’, crying continually, refusing to eat and always de-

manding! As he became a father I joked to myself ‘pay back time!’ How wrong

could I be. I feel proud and very humbled to see him having equipped himself so

well for this role. He has always been an organised person and he threw himself

into his new responsibilities with enthusiasm right from the start; researching

different types of pain relief during labour, comparing different methods of

sterilising and feeding products, reading up on the latest technology used in

safety products for babies even giving up alcohol a few months prior to George’s

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Arrival just in case...

As George was an unplanned C-Section and his mum was very tired and sore, my

son threw himself into supporting her by taking his fair share of feeding, bath

times and endless pacing around the room, pacifying a restless baby. When

George was just a couple of weeks old, I was touched to find my son doing ‘story

time’ following George’s last feed, complete with character voices and everything.

He always introduces George as ‘my best mate’ and is rewarded by an adoring

smile. I’m sure other grandparents would agree that seeing your parents become

parents themselves is incredibly moving.

Running a day nursery has highlighted for me the increasing presence of Dads in

the last few years. When I started the nursery 13 years ago, dads were reluc-

tant to spend time at the setting often appearing uncomfortable, some even like

the proverbial rabbits in headlights! Nowadays dads are not only regularly bring-

ing and collecting their children, but spend considerable amounts of time talking

to staff, sharing ideas and even volunteering to help us with activities. This is

probably helped by the fact that we have a male assistant manager working in

the 3-5’s pre school room with whom dads can relate and obviously feel comfort-

able talking to.

Technology has also marched on in the past 13 years, taking with it the baby

product market. Whilst recently babysitting for the first time I spent the entire

evening with the television so low I could hardly hear it, in order to hear a range

of bleeps and alarms on the baby sensor whilst watching constantly to check all

the lights on the monitor were flashing at the right time. This intricate device

did not however deter me from tiptoeing into George’s room and standing for

lengths of time just watching his perfect little form sleeping.

I too have marched on personally in the past 13 years. Now that I am a grandma

I now host a baby group in the ‘Gingerbread House’ at Tiddlers Day Nursery,

which I run every Friday.

Remembering how I struggled as a first time mum and how lonely it could feel at

times. I have created a group which mums, dads or grandparents can come to

with their babies and just have some relaxing time to talk, share ideas and prob-

lems, eat cake and drink tea. Anyone is welcome Friday 2:30pm. and it is free!

Louise Williams

Feature

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Caroline’s Birth Story

Each issue we feature a unique and inspirational birth story from one of our members. If you have a story you’d like to share, please send it to chesterfieldnctpatter@gmail.com and it could be your story next time.

Before my little boy (who is now 3) was born, I never even considered the possi-

bility of a Caesarean birth. Different birth interventions were discussed at our

NCT classes and I was vaguely aware of what complications might lead to a C-

section but I assumed that it would never happen to me! I booked into the mid-

wife led birth centre at Darley and my husband, Ash, and I planned on a water

birth. When I went into labour with Noah we managed to stay at home for sev-

eral hours before travelling over to Darley. When they examined me they found

I was well into established labour, but also discovered that Noah was undiag-

nosed breech. I was taken over in an ambulance to Calow and within 2 hours,

Noah had been born by emergency C-section.

We had discussed several times what birth plan we might go for if we had an-

other baby but had made no firm decision before I became pregnant with Imo-

gen. At our 12 week scan we also had an appointment with the consultant to dis-

cuss whether we wanted an elective section or to try for a VBAC. Still unde-

cided, we arranged for another appointment with the consultant at 36 weeks to

make our final decision. After this first appointment Ash and I spent a lot of

time talking about what we wanted to do and the pros and cons of a repeat sec-

tion versus a VBAC. Although the risk of my scar rupturing during natural labour

was very low, the possibility did concern me. I looked in detail at a number of

studies about the success of VBACs and also found that women who had large ba-

bies were less likely to be successful. As my little boy was large (with a large

head!) this was also a consideration in case my second baby was also large. Our

decision was also coloured by our very positive experience of the emergency sec-

tion. I healed after the surgery very quickly, experienced very little post-op

pain and established breastfeeding with Noah with very few issues. I am aware

that I was very fortunate in this, as some mums have significant pain and it takes

some time for their milk to come in. After much soul searching we decided to go

for an elective section and at our 36 week appointment were given a date to go

into hospital to meet our little girl!

25

The night before the surgery I had to go into triage for blood tests and also to

be given an anti-clotting injection. For several days before the surgery I also

had to wash using an anti-bacterial soap. On the morning of the surgery after

having a light breakfast of toast I then had to fast until the operation. We

arrived at the hospital at 8am and then had to wait until mid afternoon to be

taken to theatre. We were given a bed on the ward, spoke to the surgeon and

the anaesthetist and then did a lot of waiting! At around 3pm we were taken

down to theatre. I was given an injection of local anaesthetic in my back and

then the spinal block. The injection of lidocaine felt slightly uncomfortable but I

didn’t experience any other pain at all during the operation. The catheter was

also put in after the spinal block, which I was very relieved about! It was put in

before the spinal for my previous emergency section and was very painful!

There was one point during the surgery where I felt very sick because my blood

pressure had dropped which was a bit unpleasant but they quickly corrected that

with medication. When they took Imogen out I felt a strange pulling sensation

but it wasn’t painful in any way. The whole operation was very quick – about 10

minutes for Imogen to be born and then 20 minutes to remove the placenta,

stitch me up etc.

Our community midwife from the local surgery, Angela, came into the operation

with us and was incredibly supportive through the whole process. She put my

catheter in and then looked after Imogen as soon as she was born, giving her to

me for a cuddle and then cleaning her up and weighing her. As it turned out

Imogen was over 1lb lighter than Noah so I needn’t have worried about a big baby

after all. Angela also spent about an hour with us in the recovery room, helping

Imogen to latch on for her first feed. Imogen took to breastfeeding really well

and my milk came in even more quickly then it had with Noah. Back on the ward

my catheter stayed in overnight and the midwives were fantastic, lifting her out

of her cot and bringing her to me when she needed a feed and also changing her

nappy as I still had a drip in and was unable to wash my hands. The catheter was

removed the next day and from then on I was very mobile and in less pain than I

was when I had Noah. I also went home more quickly, after only 24 hours. At

home I took paracetamol and ibuprofen for a few days but overall felt very well

and certainly recovered more quickly than after my emergency section. We had

a very positive birth experience and although it was a difficult decision to make

to have another section, I feel it was the right one for our family.

Caroline Young

Caroline’s Birth Story

26 26

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Meet a Member

This issue we meet Janice Bather

Can you tell us a little about yourself?

My Name is Janice and I’m the new chair of the Chesterfield

Branch of NCT. In my past experience I have held Chairperson

for a volunteer bureau and was vice chair at Ashfield women’s

centre. I have also been chair and vice chair on a board of school

governors for 10 years.

Why did you join the NCT?

I joined the NCT because of its commitment to parents and the arrival of my

granddaughter. I see this as a way to promote NCT in the local area and to

increase membership within the branch.

What has NCT done for you?

The nearly new sales have kitted out my granddaughter in lovely clothes and with

some great equipment at a fraction of the price we’d have paid on the high

street. I’ve met some new friends and become aware of local and national

initiatives for parents and carers

What would you like to see the NCT do in Chesterfield?

My long term vision of Chesterfield branch is to reinstate branch activities, to

facilitate paediatric first aid course, to reinstate parent support group and to

promote a positive support network for parents and grandparents.

Thanks for your answers Janice!

In our next issue we’ll be looking to meet another member – so if you are inter-

ested or you know someone else who may be interested in sharing their views on

the NCT please email chesterfieldnctpatter@gmail.com

30 30

Motherhood: things lost and things found

Elaine shares some reflections on being a mother

What I have Found

I went upstairs to check on my little boy in his travel cot. Two eyes glowed back

at me in the semi-dark. I bent down and whispered “I love you”. He whispered it

back, and we both said “You’re the best” together. I asked if he would like me to

stay and he nodded. I lay down next to him, and put my hand through the cot to

hold his. He gently played with my hand as he fell to sleep, occasionally letting go

to stand up and settle down in a different position. At one point I felt both a

hand and a foot.

Inside my belly I felt the little hands and feet of my growing baby moving

around. It felt difficult to imagine that I could love the little one inside me as

much as the one holding my hand, but I was sure it would happen.

I hadn’t realised how strongly I would love my boy until he was born and how it

would strengthen, deepen and change as he grew. Once you get married you as-

sume you have left behind the thrills and excitement of falling in love with some-

one else. But I had fallen in love all over again.

It is not the first time I have experienced completely unconditional love. I

needed to become a mother to understand that I have been the recipient of such

love from my parents. Whilst not fully appreciating the depth of their feelings, I

have always known they would love me, whatever I did. I have taken it for

granted, but it has been a strong prop in my life.

Now I am the giver, rather than the receiver, I understand the nature of mother

love more. I love my boy so strongly and completely that I fear letting him go,

something that must happen as he grows. But I’m sure my love will change and

soften as he needs me less. I know I will love him whatever he does with his life,

and whatever his feelings for me.

31

What I have Lost

Since becoming a mother I have lost many of the hopes and dreams of my 18-

year-old self. I spent happy hours of the summer holidays lying in the sunshine

immersed in classic biology books, writers such as Richard Dawkins and Stephen

Jay Gould developed my love of clear thinking and analytical science. I went on to

study biochemistry at university and loved it even more. The teenage me was a

passionate feminist and ambitious, I wanted to use my brains to have a glorious

career. And if I hadn’t had children I think I probably would have done. At least

I feel I haven’t climbed off the career ladder because I was not capable, but

because I found something else that emotionally I needed to do more. I am sure

I will be successful in other ways - children will not fill all of my remaining

working life - but I know I will not achieve what I had hoped when younger.

Unexpectedly, I think achieving less in terms of career may leave me happier.

Raising a family is an attainment, but not one valued highly by the society that

equates success with money and status. If I had not had children, perhaps I

would have realised at some later point, via a classic mid-life crisis, that there

was more to life than career. Or perhaps I would have followed my dreams. I

greatly miss many of the things I used to enjoy before children - going for a long

walk up a steep hill followed by a fantastic meal out, lounging around at the

weekend immersed in a book, playing a game of tennis on a summer’s evening then

having a cold beer in the pub. Some are still possible, none are straightforward.

Most will get easier in the years to come.

I would like to have more time and emotional energy to devote to my relationship

with my husband. My day job involves lots of love and cuddles and his doesn’t. He

needs my attention when he gets back from work and I just need some time on

my own. It’s hard to do the things we used to enjoy together, and sometimes

impossible to have a real conversation between 7am and 7pm (“Stop talking

Mummy! Stop talking Daddy!”)

If I think about my day to day ‘mother tasks’ there is very little glamour or

stimulation. Feeding and watering, clearing up resulting mess, sorting out the

bodily fluids that follow. Playing a game for the umpteenth, clearing up the mess.

Washing clothes, making them dirty again. Washing clothes.

I find email a lifeline – a chance to think about other things, use my brain and

type very fast. I still need to communicate with the outside world, to make a

small impact. I still have ambitions, plans, ideas and opinions. They may have

changed over the past few years, but I hope I never stop having them.

Motherhood: things lost and things found

32 32

Have you got a burning question you’d like to know the answer to?

Here at Patter we’re fortunate to have some excellent volunteers who are

able to offer a wealth of knowledge in other areas. Each issue they will be

answering your questions on a whole variety of problems to do with childcare,

parenting, feeding and health.

So if you have a question you’d like to put to our experts, send it to

chesterfieldnctpatter@gmail.com’ and we’ll pick out the most interesting,

popular or burning questions for our panel to answer in the next issue.

Ask an expert

Tara George

Health Expert

Ruth Oscroft and Jo

Glossop

Breastfeeding Support

Samantha Forde

Antenatal

teacher

I'm breastfeeding my 10 month old baby and I've just found out I'm preg-

nant. Can I carry on feeding whilst I'm expecting? I tried looking on the

internet and found some sites on "tandem feeding" what's that?

Ruth says:

Yes, you can carry on breastfeeding through pregnancy and whether you do or

not will depend quite a bit on your personal feelings and circumstances. There is

some evidence that 55-70% of babies / children had weaned from the breast be-

fore their brother or sister was born.

Some women experience nipple discomfort from hormonal changes and this

might affect how they feel about breastfeeds. Also mid-pregnancy, colostrum is

produced (lower volume and different taste) and baby may decide to wean from

33

the breast. Pregnancy-related health issues (e.g. uterine pain or bleeding) might

influence your decision too. If you feel unsure about what to do, take one day at

a time and speak to a trusted friend or a breastfeeding counsellor.

Tandem feeding is when a mother breastfeeds an older child and a new-born to-

gether. Physically, the additional breast stimulation will increase the milk supply

and there will be enough milk for two. How a mother might feel about, or react

to tandem feeding is unique to her. Incorporating the needs of the new-born

baby, the older child and the mum herself all require thinking about. In addition

there are practical considerations and emotional adjustments that crop up,

sometimes unexpectedly.

NCT has a Shared Experiences Helpline, where mothers can talk to someone

Don’t forget Sure Start groups...

Including Holiday Play Schemes, Baby Weigh & Play, Stay & Play

Sessions, Music Workshops, Baby Peeps, Baby Massage, Breast Feeding

Groups, Dads’ Events and much more.

There is something on most days in most areas. For a full schedule,

please call 01629 533570, or pop into any of the Sure Start Centres for

a flyer.

Ask an expert

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34 34

Meet the people who make up Chesterfield NCT branch

Branch Chair Janice Bather

starry.eyed1@hotmail.co.uk

Treasurer Caroline Young

caz@evoluted.net

Patter Distributor and

Advertising Co-ordinator

Pauline King

nctpatteradvertising@gmail.com

Publicity Catherine Nicholson

catherine.ellis11@btinternet.com

Nearly New Sale Co-ordinator Helen Gough

nnsnctchesterfield@googlemail.com

Patter Editor Tara Jones

chesterfieldnctpatter@gmail.com

Events Co-ordinator Volunteer Required please contact

us

Breast feeding Counsellors Ruth Oscroft r.oscroft@gmail.com

Jo Glossop 01246 559484

Area 6 PSA Tara Hamilton

bookings6c@nct.org.uk

Antenatal Co-ordinator Samantha Forde

smanthaforde@aol.com

Area and regional Co-ordinator regioneastmidlands@nct.org.uk

35

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