STOP ASSUMING, START ASKING QUESTIONS:HOW TO TURN CONFLICT INTO

COLLABORATION

@penny_walker_sd

Get interested in the grey areas.

Both sides needed to win.

Positions

Interests

Needs

Common ground

Position

Interest

Need

I swapped my placards for post-it notes.

Listen

Listening is not the same as waiting to speak.

Reflect

Clarify

Really useful questions:

What do you want to see?

Can you tell me more about that?

What would that give you?

What do you want to achieve, that this could help you with?

Not really questions:

Have you thought about doing this instead?

What kind of dumb idea is that?

You haven’t really thought this through, have you?

It’s not helpful to rescue people.

Position

Interest

Need

We move from conflict to collaboration when we listen louder to the things we don’t

understand; when we move away from being right, towards the

uncomfortable truths.

Want to know more?

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penny-walker.co.uk/blog

@penny_walker_sd

Picture creditsThames Barrier – author’s own library, copyright unknown. If this is your picture please get in touch. Bottle – author’s own library, copyright unknown. If this is your picture please get in touch. Recycled paper – http://www.flickr.com/photos/bobydimitrov/3425851037/sizes/l/ Water pollution – http://www.flickr.com/photos/paolotonon/334402074/sizes/l/ Recycling truck – http://www.flickr.com/photos/naturewise/5528657845/sizes/l/ Diesel pump – http://www.flickr.com/photos/12495774@N02/8332832613/sizes/l/Castle – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ACastillo_de_los_Mendoza_-_Manzanares_el_Real_-_Madrid_-_Espa%C3%B1a.jpgWorkshop leaves / branches – Dialogue by Design / Sustainable Development Commission.Workshop people – Helen Fisher / SciencewisePlacards – http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamesm/23059398/sizes/o/ Post-its on better meetings – Author’s own / Sustainable Development CommissionHeadphones – http://www.flickr.com/photos/abrinsky/3754792367/sizes/l/Glasses - http://www.flickr.com/photos/halcyon/98048815/sizes/o/Question mark – http://www.flickr.com/photos/bilal-kamoon/6835060992/sizes/l/ Medmerry – The Environment Agency http://www.flickr.com/photos/environment-agency/10687636194/sizes/l/ Insulation – http://www.flickr.com/photos/cseeman/2614836996/sizes/l/Light bulbs – http://www.flickr.com/photos/mncerts/6882037149/sizes/l/ Polar vortex – http://www.flickr.com/photos/hawkinsdigital/11920649743/sizes/l/Flood http://www.flickr.com/photos/usgeologicalsurvey/2594326010/sizes/o/ Aral Sea http://www.flickr.com/photos/teosaurio/9121875591/sizes/l/ Scream – http://www.flickr.com/photos/salforduniversity/4055512146/sizes/o/Walk – David Caines / Penny WalkerBook jacket – DoSustainability / Sedition Publishing