stories for teaching

7/29/2019 Stories for Teaching

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stories for teaching, training, lessons and amusement

Stories add interest and enjoyment to learning, teaching and training - for teachers, trainers and

students.

Stories also increase impact and make ideas and concepts far more memorable.

Stories can be used to illustrate all sorts of themes and lessons, and most stories are extremely flexible.

The themes suggested for the stories in this collection are the obvious examples.

Use your imagination - in most stories you can find many other themes to suit your own purposes.

the bishop the priest and the ladle story (assumptions, deceitfulness, dishonesty, creative problem-

solving, arrogance, delusion)

This wonderful story was circulated by email several years ago. Here is an adapted version which can be

used to illustrate several different themes.

A bishop invited a young priest to dinner. During the meal, the priest noticed some signs of intimacy

between the bishop and his housekeeper. As the priest was leaving, the bishop said to him quietly, "I

can guess what you are thinking, but really our relationship is strictly proper." A few days later the

housekeeper remarked to the bishop that a valuable antique solid silver soup ladle was missing - since

the young priest's visit - and so she wondered if he might have taken it. "I doubt it, but I will ask him,"

said the bishop. So the bishop wrote to the priest: "Dear Father, I am not saying that 'you did' take a

solid silver ladle from my house, and I am not saying that 'you did not' take a solid silver ladle from my

house, but the fact is that the ladle has been missing since your visit.." Duly, the bishop received the

young priest's reply, which read: "Your Excellency, I'm not saying that 'you do' sleep with your

housekeeper, and I'm not saying that 'you do not' sleep with your housekeeper, but the fact is that if

you were sleeping in your own bed, you would by now have found the ladle."

(Adapted from a story sent to me by A Hyden. If you know the origins of this story please tell me.)


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the man, the boy, and the hotel story (assumptions, customer service, helping others, kindness,

humanity)

This story is frequently told to be true. Whether true or not, it is certainly powerful.

A man and a young teenage boy checked in to a hotel and were shown to their room. The two

receptionists noted the quiet manner of the guests, and the pale appearance of the boy. Later the man

and boy ate dinner in the hotel restaurant. The staff again noticed that the two guests were very quiet,

and that the boy seemed disinterested in his food. After eating, the boy went to his room and the man

went to reception and asked to see the manager. The receptionist initially asked if there was a problem

with the service or the room, and offered to fix things, but the man said that there was no problem of

that sort, and repeated his request. The manager was called and duly appeared. The man asked to speak

privately and was taken into the manager's office.

The man explained that he was spending the night in the hotel with his fourteen-year-old son, who was

seriously ill, probably terminally so. The boy was very soon to undergo therapy, which would cause him

to lose his hair. They had come to the hotel to have a break together, and also because the boy planned

to shave his head, that night, rather than feel that the illness was beating him. The father said that he

would be shaving his own head too, in support of his son. He asked that staff be respectful when the

two of them came to breakfast with their shaved heads. The manager assured the father that he would

inform all staff and that they would behave appropriately.

The following morning the father and son entered the restaurant for breakfast.

There they saw the four male restaurant staff attending to their duties, perfectly normally, all with

shaved heads.

(Adapted from a story sent to me by A Smith. If you know the origins of this story please tell me.)

the blind man and the advertising story (communications, perceptions, empathy, connecting with

people, advertising, marketing, language meaning, intervention, helping others, expertise, equality,

discrimination)


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Warning: This story contains language and a potentially 'offensive stereotype' of a visually impaired

person that certain audiences may find objectionable. At the same time the story carries a powerful

main message, is culturally/historically significant, and is useful in debating equality/disability, aside

from its obvious 'different perceptions' theme. So be careful how you use this story. Alter the

language appropriately where warranted, position it carefully, and if in doubt do not use the story at

all. This story is not recommended for education/sharing unless you are very sure of how to use it

safely.

the blind man and the advertising story

An old blind man was sitting on a busy street corner in the rush-hour begging for money. On a cardboard

sign, next to an empty tin cup, he had written: 'Blind - Please help'.

No-one was giving him any money.

A young advertising writer walked past and saw the blind man with his sign and empty cup, and also saw

the many people passing by completely unmoved, let alone stopping to give money.

The advertising writer took a thick marker-pen from her pocket, turned the cardboard sheet back-to-

front, and re-wrote the sign, then went on her way.

Immediately, people began putting money into the tin cup.

After a while, when the cup was overflowing, the blind man asked a stranger to tell him what the sign

now said.

"It says," said the stranger, " 'It's a beautiful day. You can see it. I cannot.' "

(My Dad told me this story when I was a teenager in the 1970s. Much later it was interpreted into a

popular video on the web. This story illustrates in a timeless way how important choice of words and

language is when we want to truly connect with and move other people. The story can also be used to

explore issues of disability, equality, discrimination and political correctness, for example, what is it that

makes this story offensive to some people?, and given the valuable main message, is there a way to

adapt this story so that it cannot cause offence to anyone? Thanks BC and SD)


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the shoes story (positive thinking, negative thinking, attitude, perspective, mindset)

You will perhaps have heard this very old story illustrating the difference between positive thinking and

negative thinking:

Many years ago two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and

report back on market potential.

The first salesman reported back, "There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes."

The second salesman reported back, "There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes."

This simple short story provides one of the best examples of how a single situation may be viewed in

two quite different ways - negatively or positively.

We could explain this also in terms of seeing a situation's problems and disadvantages, instead of its

opportunities and benefits.

When telling this story its impact is increased by using exactly the same form of words (e.g., "nobody

wears shoes") in each salesman's report. This emphasises that two quite different interpretations are

made of a single situation.

See also theglass half-full/empty quotes.

the pub story (racial issues, discrimination, exclusion, inclusion, lateral thinking, different meanings in

language and communications)

A Sikh, a Muslim, an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman, a Jew, a Buddhist and a Hindu

go into a pub.

The barman looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

(This short aside can be used to illustrate or draw attention to issues related to racial

stereotyping/discrimination. Separately it offers an example of lateral thinking, and also an example of
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double meaning in language. The ethnicities may be changed for your own situation or part of the world.

Do not share this story unles you can safely position it or you are confident that it will not cause

offence.)

the inflatables story (context is everything, discipline and admonishment)

In the land of inflatables (bear with me..), at the inflatable school, what did the inflatable teacher say to

the naughty inflatable boy caught misbehaving with a pin?

"You let me down, you let yourself down, and worst of all you let the whole school down."

the mechanic and the surgeon story (perceptions, the devil is in the detail, the nature of big

differences)

A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a regular service, where he usually exchanged a little

friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially wealthy mechanic.

"So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering about what we both do for a living, and how

much more you get paid than me.."

"Yes?.." says the surgeon.

"Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a big complicated engine, "I check how it's

running, open it up, fix the valves, and put it all back together so it works good as new.. We basically do

the same job don't we? And yet you are paid ten times what I am - how do you explain that?"

The surgeon thought for a moment, and smiling gently, replied,"Try it with the engine running.."

zodiac star signs story (for remembering the signs of the zodiac, and memory aid example for teaching

mnemonics methods)


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This story is a mnemonic (pronounced 'nemonic' - meaning memory aid) for remembering the twelve

Signs of the Zodiac, in order, starting in January.

While this example is useful for pub quizzes, more importantly the method of creating a story

mnemonic can be used to retain all sorts of difficult-to-remember pieces of information, for yourself,and taught to others. Mnemonics stories need not make sense - they simply need to be memorable.

In January, a goat (Capricorn), drinking from a stream (Aquarius) said, "Look, a fish (Pisces)."

A ram (Aries), and a bull (Taurus), carrying the twins (Gemini) said "There's also a crab (Cancer)."

A lion (Leo) roared in agreement, which startled the young maiden (Virgo) so that she dropped and

smashed her scales (Libra).

"That's no crab - it's a scorpion (Scorpio)," said the archer (Sagittarius).

Note that the Signs of the Zodiac are normally deemed to start and end anything between the 18th and

the 24th day of each month, depending on interpretation. It is not by any means a precise science.

the two bulls story (tactics, wisdom, planning, youthfulness vs maturity, impulse vs patience)

Two bulls, one young and full of enthusiasm, and the other older and wiser, see a herd of cows.

The young bull says, "Let's charge down this hillside and have our wicked way with a couple of those

cows."

The old bull replies, "No, how about we stroll gently down this hillside and have our wicked way with

them all."

You will perhaps have heard this story told with more fruity language. Feel free to adapt it for your own

situation.

(Thanks A Dobson for suggesting it. See alsoSoftly softly, catchee monkey.)
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the thief and the paintings story (planning, preparation, resources, project management)

A thief was caught after stealing some paintings from the Louvre in Paris, when his getaway van ran out

of fuel.

Given bail at his first hearing, a reporter asked him on the steps of the courthouse how he forgot such a

vital part of his plan.

"Simple," said the thief, "I had no Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(Ack CB)

the gardener's badge story (positive thinking, attitude, seeing the good side)

A landscape gardener ran a business that had been in the family for two or three generations. The staff

were happy, and customers loved to visit the store, or to have the staff work on their gardens or make

deliveries - anything from bedding plants to ride-on mowers.

For as long as anyone could remember, the current owner and previous generations of owners were

extremely positive happy people.

Most folk assumed it was because they ran a successful business.

In fact it was the other way around...

A tradition in the business was that the owner always wore a big lapel badge, saying Business Is Great!

The business was indeed generally great, although it went through tough times like any other. What

never changed however was the owner's attitude, and the badge saying Business Is Great!

Everyone who saw the badge for the first time invariably asked, "What's so great about business?"

Sometimes people would also comment that their own business was miserable, or even that they

personally were miserable or stressed.

Anyhow, the Business Is Great! badge always tended to start a conversation, which typically involved

the owner talking about lots of positive aspects of business and work, for example:


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the pleasure of meeting and talking with different people every day the reward that comes from helping staff take on new challenges and experiences the fun and laughter in a relaxed and healthy work environment the fascination in the work itself, and in the other people's work and businesses the great feeling when you finish a job and do it to the best of your capabilities the new things you learn every day - even without looking to do so and the thought that everyone in business is blessed - because there are many millions of people

who would swap their own situation to have the same opportunities of doing a productive

meaningful job, in a civilized well-fed country, where we have no real worries.

And so the list went on. And no matter how miserable a person was, they'd usually end up feeling a lot

happier after just a couple of minutes listening to all this infectious enthusiasm and positivity.

It is impossible to quantify or measure attitude like this, but to one extent or another it's probably a self-

fulfilling prophecy, on which point, if asked about the badge in a quiet moment, the business owner

would confide:

"The badge came first. The great business followed."

the jewels story (enjoyment, fulfillment, possession, wealth, materialism, greed)

Once there was a very rich and greedy man. He loved and hoarded jewels.

One day a visitor asked to see them.

So the jewels were brought out, amid much expensive security, and the two men gazed at the wonderful

stones.

As the visitor was leaving he said, "Thank you for sharing your jewels with me."

"I didn't give them to you," exclaimed the rich man, "They belong to me."

"Yes of course," replied the visitor, "And while we enjoyed the jewels just the same, the real difference

between us is your trouble and expense of buying and protecting them."


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(Thanks Jackie Carpenter, adapted from an original item in New Internationalist 137.)

the atheist and the bear story (loyalty, conviction, payback and reward, changing sides)

A committed atheist (that's someone who steadfastly does not believe in a god of any sort) was on a

trekking holiday when he became lost in some dense woods.

A large angry bear, with ten starving cubs back home and claws like kitchen knives, suddenly emerged

from the undergrowth.

The atheist screamed in terror, turned and ran. The bear was quicker however, and after a long and

desperate chase eventually cornered the atheist in a gully.

The exhausted atheist sank to his knees, shaking.

The bear, seeing that its prey was trapped, moved slowly towards the petrified man, drooling. The bear

was drooling too.

The atheist lifted his head, with tears in his eyes, and uttered the words he thought he would never say

in all his life: "God help me..."

With these simple three words, a blinding flash of lightning lit up the sky. There was a deafening crash of

thunder. The clouds parted. A brilliant light shone down. The forest fell silent. The bear froze still, in a

trance. The atheist stood gaping, transfixed.

A voice came loud from above. Louder than twenty AC/DC concerts all happening at the same time. We

can safely assume this voice to have been the voice of a god of some sort.

"You atheists make me seriously mad," boomed the god, "You deny me all your life. You tell others to

deny me too. You put your faith in all that bloody Darwinian airy-fairy scientific nonsense, and then

what a surprise - you get lost because you can't read your stupid map, and now you're about to get

eaten by an angry bear all of a sudden you're on your knees snivelling and begging for my help?.........

You must be joking..."

The atheist looked down, realising that he was not arguing from a position of strength.


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"Okay, I take your point," said the atheist, thinking on his feet, while he still had them, "I can see it's a bit

late for me to convert, but what about the bear?... Maybe you could convert the bear instead?"

"Hmmn... interesting idea..." said the god, thinking hard, "...Okay. It shall be done." At which the brilliant

light dimmed and vanished; the clouds closed; and the noises of the forest resumed.

The bear awoke and shook its head, a completely different expression on its face. Calm, at peace.

The bear closed its eyes, bowed its head, and said, "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord

make us truly thankful, Amen.."

THE END

_________________________________

N.B. The grace prayer in the punchline is the version commonly taught in UK schools. Alternatives might

work better depending on the audience, for example:

"Come Lord Jesus, be our guest, let this food of ours be blessed. Amen.." (suggesting an Australian bear

of unspecific denomination)

"Lass't uns beten! O Herr, segne uns und diese deine gaben, die wir von deiner Gte nun empfangen

werden. Durch Christus, unseren Herr'n! Amen.." (suggesting a German Catholic bear)

You will perhaps devise your own endings. Perhaps your own animals. Perhaps your own god.

It has been suggested that this story could offend certain sensitivities.

I apologise therefore to bears everywhere.

(Adapted from a story sent by S Hart, thank you.)

A much shorter and simpler version of this story (thanks D Baudois) is as follows:

the missionary man and the lion story

A missionary came upon a hungry lion in the middle of the African plain.

The missionary knelt and prayed, "God, please give this lion a christian soul!"


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The lion stopped, knelt, and prayed also: "Lord above, may this meal be blessed.."

And here is another interpretation of the story (thanks Koppa Dasao)..

the atheist and the bear II (alternative Koppa Dasao version)

An atheist was trekking in the woods when he came across an angry bear. Startled at the disturbance

the bear gave chase.

After a minute or so the bear said, "Hey, atheist, why are you running?"

The atheist replied, "I don't believe in talking bears."

The bear replied: "Well, I don't believe in atheists."

"Thank God, I'm safe," said the atheist, and stopped running, at which the bear bit off his head.

(thanks Koppa Dasao - published at Businessballs.com/stories.htm 25 March 2012)

the fairy story (strategic alliances, tactical awareness, ageism, sexism, being careful about what you

wish for and how you go about getting it)

A couple were dining out together celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.

After the meal, the husband presented his wife romantically with a beautiful very old gold antique

locket on a chain.

Amazingly when his wife opened the locket, a tiny fairy appeared.

Addressing the astonished couple, the fairy said, "Your forty years of devotion to each other hasreleased me from this locket, and in return I can now grant you both one wish each - anything you

want.."

Without hesitating, the wife asked, "Please, can I travel to the four corners of the world with my

husband, as happy and in love as we've always been?"


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The fairy waved her wand with a flourish, and magically there on the table were two first-class tickets

for a round-the-world holiday.

Staggered, the couple looked at each other, unable to believe their luck.

"Your turn," said the fairy and the wife to the husband.

The husband thought for a few seconds, and then said, with a little guilt in his voice, "Forgive me, but to

really enjoy that holiday of a lifetime - I yearn for a younger woman - so I wish that my wife could be

thirty years younger than me."

Shocked, the fairy glanced at the wife, and with a knowing look in her eye, waved her wand.....

and the husband became ninety-three.

(Adapted from a suggestion from J Riley, thanks.)

circus story (developing young people, talent, career choice, parenting)

This short story - it's a joke really - can be used to illustrate attitudes to developing young people, career

direction, and especially the advice and aspirations of parents and coaches, which might be different to

the dreams of the individual...

In a circus, the Bearded Lady and the World's Strongest Man fell in love, and decided to start a family.

Soon the Bearded Lady fell pregnant.

A few weeks before she was due to give birth, the Bearded Lady and the circus ring-master were talking.

"How's it going?" the ring-master asked, "Are you well?"

"Yes thanks - very excited," said the bearded lady, "We have so many plans for the baby - we want to be

supportive parents."

"That's nice," said the ring-master, "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Oh, we really don't mind as long as it's healthy," said the Bearded Lady, "And it fits into the cannon.."


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(Thanks DC)

stranded car dilemma story (creative thinking, ethics, decision-making)

This story is adapted from a scenario which featured in a widely circulated email, in which (supposedly)

job applicants were given loosely the following question to answer, to indicate their personality and

decision-making motives (supposedly). The job application context is extremely doubtful, but the lesson

in creative thinking is interesting, especially if people are not given too long to dwell on it:

You are driving alone in two-seater car on a deserted road in blizzard conditions, when you see another

car which has recently run off the road and into a tree. There are three people in the stranded car, none

of whom is injured:

an old friend, who once saved your life your childhood sweetheart greatest lost love an elderly lady

No-one has a phone. The likelihood of any more passing traffic is effectively zero. The conditions are too

dangerous for people to walk anywhere. It is not possible to tow the crashed car. The nearest town is an

hour's drive away.

The question is: Given that your car is just a two-seater, in what order should the stranded people be

taken to the nearest town?

Answer

the school story (attendance, sickness, responsibility, parenting, and various other uses)

My apologies if this story is well-known to you. It's an old joke, yet a useful illustration for various

themes.
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A mother repeatedly called upstairs for her son to get up, get dressed and get ready for school. It was a

familiar routine, especially at exam time.

"I feel sick," said the voice from the bedroom.

"You are not sick. Get up and get ready," called the mother, walking up the stairs and hovering outside

the bedroom door.

"I hate school and I'm not going," said the voice from the bedroom, "I'm always getting things wrong,

making mistakes and getting told off. Nobody likes me, and I've got no friends. And we have too many

tests and they are too confusing. It's all just pointless, and I'm not going to school ever again."

"I'm sorry, but you are going to school," said the mother through the door, continuing encouragingly,

"Really, mistakes are how we learn and develop. And please try not to take criticism so personally. And I

can't believe that nobody likes you - you have lots of friends at school. And yes, all those tests can be

confusing, but we are all tested in many ways throughout our lives, so all of this experience at school is

useful for life in general. Besides, you have to go, you are the headteacher."

(Based on a suggestion from P Hallinger, thanks.)

the soldiers and the trench story (leadership)

The story goes that sometime, close to a battlefield over 200 years ago, a man in civilian clothes rode

past a small group of exhausted battle-weary soldiers digging an obviously important defensive position.

The section leader, making no effort to help, was shouting orders, threatening punishment if the work

was not completed within the hour.

"Why are you are not helping?" asked the stranger on horseback.

"I am in charge. The men do as I tell them," said the section leader, adding, "Help them yourself if you

feel strongly about it."

To the section leader's surprise the stranger dismounted and helped the men until the job was finished.


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Before leaving the stranger congratulated the men for their work, and approached the puzzled section

leader.

"You should notify top command next time your rank prevents you from supporting your men - and I will

provide a more permanent solution," said the stranger.

Up close, the section leader now recognized General Washington, and also the lesson he'd just been

taught.

(This story is allegedly based on truth. Whatever, similar examples are found in history, and arise in

modern times too, so please forgive the mythical possibility of the above attribution; the story's

message is more important than its historical accuracy.)

the john wayne story (instructions, communications, understanding, confused messages)

It is said that when filming the biblical epic The Greatest Story Ever Told, the director George Stevens

was trying to encourage extra passion from John Wayne when delivering the highly significant line,

"Truly, this was the Son of God."

"You are talking about Jesus - think about it," said Stevens, "You've got to say it with awe."

For the next take John Wayne duly summoned his most intense feelings. He paused dramatically, and

said:

"Aw, truly this was the Son of God."

the blind men and the road story (stretching, dependency, risk, achievement under pressure)

Warning: This story contains language and a potentially 'offensive stereotype' of visually impaired

person that certain audiences may find objectionable. At the same time, the main message is uplifting

and in major part offers an empowered and optimistic view of visual impairment. Nevertheless, be

careful how you use this story. Alter the language appropriately where warranted, and if in doubt do

not use the story at all.


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A blind (visually impaired) man had been waiting a while at a busy road for someone to offer to guide

him across, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me," said the tapper, "I'm blind - would you mind guiding me across the road?"

The first blind man took the arm of the second blind man, and they both crossed the road.

Apparently this is a true story. The first blind man was the jazz pianist George Shearing. He is quoted (in

Bartlett's Anecdotes) as saying after the event, "What could I do? I took him across and it was the

biggest thrill of my life."

There are times when we think we cannot do something and so do not stretch or take a risk. Being

forced to stretch and take a risk can often help us to reduce our dependencies (on others, or our own

personal safety mechanisms), and to discover new excitement and capabilities. The poemCome to the

Edgeis another wonderful perspective on risk and stretching.

the doctor and the thief story (ethical decision making - also adaptability, flexibility, accepting what

cannot be changed)

A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I've become a compulsive thief."

The doctor prescribes him a course of tablets and says, "If you're not cured in a couple of weeks would

you get me a widescreen television?"

This is not a lesson of ideal behaviour, it's a humorous illustration of options - whether to try to change

something, to accept it or to actively support it. Such decisions normally have two main reference points

- the difficulty of the change, and the ethical implications of the situation.

TheSerenity Prayeris a different and less cynical view of change and choices.

the preacher and the farmer story (understanding the needs of your people, caring for minorities and

individuals, looking deeper than the mainstream)
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An old hill farming crofter trudges several miles through freezing snow to his local and very remote

chapel for Sunday service. No-one else is there, aside from the clergyman.

"I'm not sure it's worth proceeding with the service - might we do better to go back to our warm homes

and a hot drink?.." asks the clergyman, inviting a mutually helpful reaction from his audience of one.

"Well, I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one

beast turns up, I sure don't leave it hungry."

So the clergyman, feeling somewhat ashamed, delivers his service - all the bells and whistles, hymns and

readings, lasting a good couple of hours - finishing proudly with the fresh observation that no matter

how small the need, our duty remains. And he thanks the old farmer for the lesson he has learned.

"Was that okay?" asks the clergyman, as the two set off home.

"Well I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one

beast turns up, I sure don't force it to eat what I brought for the whole herd..."

From which we see the extra lesson, that while our duty remains regardless of the level of need, we

have the additional responsibility to ensure that we adapt our delivery (of whatever is our stock in

trade) according to the requirements of our audience.

(Adapted from a suggestion from P Hallinger, and based apparently on a story told by Roland Barth,

whom I assume to be the US educationalist.)

the old lady and the hearing-aid story (assumptions about weaknesses, underestimating people,

tactical advantage)

An old lady had a hearing-aid fitted, hidden underneath her hair.

A week later she returned to the doctor for her check-up.

"It's wonderful - I can hear everything now," she reported very happily to the doctor.

"And is your family pleased too?" asked the doctor.

"Oh I haven't told them yet," said the old lady, "And I've changed my will twice already.."


18/96

(Thanks BC. Based on a letter published in the newspaper several years ago, written by the doctor. I

suspect variations of this story have been told many times elsewhere too.)

the mobile phone story (assumptions, authority, control, the risks of modern communications and

technology, privacy, security, identity theft, etc)

Several men were in a golf club locker room.

A mobile phone rings.

"Yes I can talk," says the man answering the call, "You're shopping are you? That's nice."

The listening men smile to each other.

"You want to order those new carpets? Okay.. And they'll include the curtains for an extra five

thousand?.. Sure, why not?"

More smiles among the listeners.

"You want to book that week on Necker Island?.. They're holding the price at twenty-two thousand?..

Sounds a bargain.. You want a fortnight?.. If that's what you want honey, okay by me."

Smiles turn to expressions of mild envy.

"And you want to give the builder the go-ahead for the new conservatory? Seventy-five thousand if we

say yes today? Sounds fair.. sure, that's fine."

The listeners exchange glances of amazement.

"Okay sugar, see you later.. Yes, love you too," says the man, ending the call.

He looks at the other men and says, "Whose phone is this anyhow?.."

the trench-digger story (initiative, self-development, making things happen, career advancement, how

to get a job requiring experience when you have none)


19/96

This is adapted from (apparently) a true story.

An elderly couple retired to the countryside - to a small isolated cottage overlooking some rugged and

rocky heathland.

One early morning the woman saw from her window a young man dressed in working clothes walking

on the heath, about a hundred yards away. He was carrying a spade and a small case, and he

disappeared from view behind a copse of trees.

The woman thought no more about it but around the same time the next day she saw the man again,

carrying his spade and a small case, and again he disappeared behind the copse.

The woman mentioned this to her husband, who said he was probably a farmer or gamekeeper setting

traps, or performing some other country practice that would be perfectly normal, and so not to worry.

However after several more sightings of the young man with the spade over the next two weeks the

woman persuaded her husband to take a stroll - early, before the man tended to arrive - to the copse of

trees to investigate what he was doing.

There they found a surprisingly long and deep trench, rough and uneven at one end, becoming much

neater and tidier towards the other end.

"How strange," the old lady said, "Why dig a trench here - and in such difficult rocky ground?" and her

husband agreed.

Just then the young man appeared - earlier than his usual time.

"You're early," said the old woman, making light of their obvious curiosity, "We wondered what you

were doing - and we also wondered what was in the case."

"I'm digging a trench," said the man, who continued, realising a bigger explanation was appropriate, "I'm

actually learning how to dig a good trench, because the job I'm being interviewed for later today says

that experience is essential - so I'm getting the experience. And the case - it's got my lunch in it."

He got the job.

(Adapted from a suggestion - thanks R Columbo)


20/96

double-positive story (make your point and then know when to stop, language, communications,

lateral thinking, quick-thinking)

On hearing one of his students use the expression, "I don't know nothing about it..." a teacher took the

opportunity to explain about double negatives and correct grammar to the class.

The teacher explained, "In the English language a double negative makes the statement positive, so your

assertion that you 'don't know nothing about it' is actually an admission that you do know something

about it."

Encouraged by the interest in this revelation among certain class members, the teacher went on to

demonstrate more of his knowledge of world languages: "Of course not all languages operate according

to the same grammatical rules, for example, in Russian, a double negative remains negative, although

perhaps surprisingly, there is not a single language anywhere in the world in which a double positive

makes a negative.."

At which a voice from the back of the classroom called out ironically "Yeah, right.."

(This is adapted from a story sent to me by M Morris. Apparently the original story was based on a true

incident at a Modern Language Association meeting in New York in the mid-1970's, reported in the NY

Times. The quick-witted response in the original story, actually "Yeah, yeah..", seemingly came from

from Sidney Morganbesser, a professor of philosophy who was noted for his speedy retorts. Thanks M

Morris, Apr 2007.)

the bath and the bucket story (lateral thinking, making assumptions, dangers of judging people)

Given the title (on the subject of buckets..) and its quick simple message, this story is a good partner

analogy to therocks in a buckettime management story.

The story illustrates lateral thinking, narrow-mindedness, the risks of making assumptions, and judging

people and situations:

A party of suppliers was being given a tour of a mental hospital.
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One of the visitors had made some very insulting remarks about the patients.

After the tour the visitors were introduced to various members of staff in the canteen.

The rude visitor chatted to one of the security staff, Bill, a kindly and wise ex-policeman.

"Are they all raving loonies in here then?" said the rude man.

"Only the ones who fail the test," said Bill.

"What's the test?" said the man.

"Well, we show them a bath full of water, a bucket, a jug and an egg-cup, and we ask them what's the

quickest way to empty the bath," said Bill.

"Oh I see, simple - the normal ones know it's the bucket, right?"

"No actually," said Bill, "The normal ones say pull out the plug. Should I check when there's a bed free

for you?"

the stamp story (customer services, communications, product design, customer inertia)

The staff at an old people's home were puzzled when one of the residents began gargling with TCP. They

asked her why but all she would say was that something had happened at the post-office. This is what

actually occurred.

The old lady, who rarely ventured out, had visited the post office to post a letter.

She bought a stamp, and since there was a long queue behind her she stepped aside. She put her

change in her purse, licked the stamp and put it on her letter. Despite pressing and thumping and licking

it again, the stamp failed to stick.

"Excuse me, this stamp won't stick," said the old lady.

"You need to peel the paper off the back," explained the clerk.

The old lady put on her spectacles, fiddled for a few seconds to peel off the backing paper - and then

licked the stamp again.


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"It still won't stick," interrupted the old lady again.

"It's a self-stick stamp," said the assistant.

"Well this one isn't sticking at all - there's something wrong with it," demanded the old lady.

"Well it won't stick now because you've licked it."

"Well I'm totally confused now," said the old lady.

"Just give it here and I'll post it for you," said the cashier, and doing her best to explain continued,

"These new stamps don't need licking. They are self-sticking. They save time. They are already sticky."

The old lady continued to look blankly at the assistant.

"Look," said the well-meaning but desperate post-office clerk, "Just imagine they've already beenlicked..."

Which sent the old lady scurrying out of the door and across the road to the chemist.

(Thanks Stephen Rafe for the original tale from which the above was adapted. Stephen also provided

another example of confused customer service communications, in which the customer was convinced

for a while that the customer service person was somehow carrying on his work from inside prison,

because the bad line was due to him speaking from his cell-phone..)

the shot at dawn campaign story (ethics and culture, leadership integrity and styles, decision-making,

policy-making,)

By December 1916 more than 17,000 British troops were officially diagnosed as suffering from nervous

or mental disability (we'd say shell-shock or post-traumatic stress disorder these days), despite which

the British military authorities continued to charge and convict sufferers with 'cowardice' and

'desertion', and to sentence to death by firing squad many of those found 'guilty'.

On 16 August 2006 the British government announced that it would pardon 308 British soldiers who

were shot by firing squad for 'cowardice' and 'desertion' during the First World War of 1914-18. The

decision was ratified by Parliament on 7 November 2006, and represented a remarkable u-turn by this


23/96

and previous governments who had always firmly refuted any evidence and justification for pardoning

the victims.

This reversal followed and was largely due to decades of persistent lobbying and campaigning by

organisations and individuals, many being families and descendents of the victims. It is not easy toimagine their suffering, especially of the widows and parents long since gone, for whom this decision

came a lifetime too late.

The story emphasises two things: first, that people in authority have a responsibility to behave with

integrity. Second, that where people in authority fail to act with integrity, the persistence and

determination of ordinary people will eventually force them to do so.

Here ismore background about the Shot At Dawn campaign, and the history of this particularly

shameful example of British institutional behaviour.

It provides lessons to us all about doing the right thing, and calling to account those who do not.

See the relateddiscussion ideasfor developing awareness and understanding of the issues and how they

relate to us all.

N.B. Some people will not agree with this interpretation. This makes it such an interesting subject for

debate, especially in transferring the issues and principles to modern challenges in organisations, and

the world beyond.

direct mail campaign clanger story (human nature, integrity, delegation and training, and advertising

is a funny business...)

This is a true story. Some years ago a client engaged a consultant to help with a small postal mailing to

the purchasing departments of blue chip corporations. The consultant sourced the list (which was

provided on MSExcel) and drafted the letter. Thereafter the client was keen to take control of the

project, ie., to run the mail-merge and the fulfilment (basically printing, envelope-stuffing and mailing).

The consultant discovered some weeks later that a junior member of the client's marketing department

had sorted the list (changed the order of the listed organisations in the spreadsheet), but had sorted the
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company name column only, instead of all columns, with the result that every letter (about 500) was

addressed and sent to a blue chip corporation at another entirely different corporation's address.

Interestingly the mailing produced a particularly high response, which when investigated seemed to

stem from the fact that an unusually high percentage of letters were opened and read, due apparentlyto the irresistible temptation of reading another corporation's mail...

the god and eve story (gender and sexual discrimination, equality, battle of the sexes debates, after-

dinner speaking, etc)

"God, I've been thinking.." says Eve one day.

"What's on your mind Eve?" says God.

"Well, I know that you created me and this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful creatures, but

lately I've been feeling that maybe there's more to life."

"Go on..." says God.

"Sometimes I get a bit bored - I fancy a bit of fun. And I get a bit fed up with all the heaving lifting and

carrying, and warding off the mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers, not to mention that bloody snake.

This garden can be dangerous place."

"I see," says God, pausing for thought.

"Eve, I have a cunning plan," says God, "I shall create Man for you."

"Man?" asks Eve, "What is Man?"

"Man..." says God, "Is a flawed creature. He will have many weaknesses and disgusting habits. Man will

lie, cheat and behave like an idiot - in fact mostly he'll be a complete pain in the backside. But on the

plus side he'll be big and strong, and will be able to protect you, and hunt and kill things, which might be

handy sometimes. He will tend to lose control of mind and body when aroused, but with a bit training

can reach an acceptable standard in the bedroom department, if you know what I mean."

"Hmm," says Eve, "Seems like this Man idea might be worth a try, but tell me God, is there anything else

I need to know?"


25/96

"Just this," says God, "Man comes with one condition... In keeping with his arrogant, deluded, self-

important character, Man will naturally believe that he was made first, and frankly we all have better

things to do than argue, so you must keep all this a secret between us, if that's okay with you. You know,

woman to woman.."

(unknown origin - if you can shed any light on the origin pleasecontact me- thanks CB)

the wrong guy interview story (interviews, preparation, thinking on your feet, communications)

This is a true story. It concerned Guy Goma, a lovely cuddly business graduate from the Congo, who on

8th May 2006 attended the BBC building in West London for an interview for an IT job. At the same

time, the BBC News 24 TV channel was expecting a Guy Kewney (now sadly deceased), editor of the

website Newswireless.net, for a live 10.30am studio interview about the Apple court case judgement.

(Apple Corps, owned by surviving Beatles McCartney and Starr, lost their case against Apple Computers,

in which they sought to prevent the Apple name being used in relation to iTunes music downloads.)

Due to failed communications, entirely the BBC's fault (both Guys were blameless in this), the BBC News

24 staff grabbed the wrong Guy (waiting in a different reception to Guy Kewney), who, being an

unassuming, foreign and extremely polite fellow, dutifully took his place in the studio, and after

declining make-up (really), was introduced on live TV to viewers as Guy Kewney, editor of the

technology website 'Newswireless', and then asked three questions by the BBC News 24 business

presenter Karen Bowerman about the Apple judgements and its implications for internet music

downloading.

Meanwhile the real Guy Kewney sat and watched 'himself' on the monitor in the BBC reception. See

the'wrong Guy' interview. (At some stage in the future the link to the BBC interview clip might cease

working - I don't know how long they keep these things. Let me know when and if you can no longer see

the video clip and I'll try to source it elsewhere. As at Jun 2010 - thanks Joe - it seems that the clip is notso easy to play as it once was, although the video is still available via the BBC's'Launch in stand alone

player' link for the 'wrong Guy' item.

What's so utterly fascinating about this story and the supporting video, is:
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Guy Goma initially expresses surprise about the interview situation, but, largely due to his broken

English and heavy French accent the interviewer interprets and leads Mr Goma's response to mean that

he is surprised about the court judgement. If you listen carefully Guy Goma does actually mention his

'interview' in his first answer. See the transcript below. However the pressure of the situation is too

great and he has little option other than to play out the role that the fates have created for him. He

actually does quite well, given that he knows little about the subject. Subsequent media reports that

Guy Goma was a taxi driver are false - he's a business graduate. He later attended his IT job interview

but regrettably was unsuccessful. You can read what Guy Kewney thought of it all on his own blog

atwww.newswireless.net(there are several entries - read them all to see the full picture).

As mentioned, sadly Guy Kewney has since died, on 8 Apr 2010. His blog as at Sep 2010 still stands.

Please let me know if it ceases to be available. On hearing of Guy Kewney's passing (thanks D Guy -

another different Guy..) I considered whether to remove or retain this item and obviously I decided to

retain it. I never met Guy Kewney. From what I understand he seems to have been a lovely man. The

opportunity to say this is part of my decision.

the wrong guy interview transcript

Karen Bowerman: ...Well, Guy Kewney is editor of the technology website Newswireless.

[Camera switches to Guy Goma's face, portraying a mixture of shock, disbelief and impending disaster.]

KB: Hello, good morning to you.

Guy Goma: Good morning.

KB: Were you surprised by this verdict today?

GG: I am very surprised to see... this verdict, to come on me because I was not expecting that. When I

came they told me something else and I am coming. Got an interview... [another word, impossible to

discern] .... a big surprise anyway.

KB: A big surprise, yes, yes. [seeming a little anxious]

GG: Exactly. [growing in confidence]

KB: With regard to the costs involved do you think now more people will be downloading online?

GG: Actually, if you go everywhere you are gonna see a lot of people downloading to internet and the

website everything they want. But I think, is much better for development and to empower people what

they want and to get on the easy way and so faster if they are looking for.

KB: This does really seem the way the music industry's progressing now, that people want to go onto the
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website and download music.

GG: Exactly. You can go everywhere on the cyber cafe and you can take [maybe 'check'?], you can go

easy. It's going to be very easy way for everyone to get something to the internet.

KB: Thank you [actually sounds more like 'Thank Kewney' - as if Ms Bowerman was a little distracted, no

wonder]. Thanks very much indeed.

Lessons from this:

Good clear communications are essential when managing any sort of interview. Pressure situations can easily lead people (especially interviewees) to give false impressions, which

are no help to anyone.

The behaviours demonstrated in this incident illustrate the power of suggestion, andNLP, albeit usedmostly inadvertently in this case; the point is that all communications involve a hell of a lot more than

just words..

The power of the media to interpret just about anything for their own journalistic purposes is bloodyfrightening.

the very old lady story (positive attitude, self-image, ageism)

A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three remaining hairs on her head, and being

a positive soul, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she braided her three hairs, and she had a

great day.

Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her day, she saw that she had only

two hairs remaining. "Hmm, two hairs... I fancy a centre parting today." She duly parted her two hairs,

and as ever, she had a great day.

A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left on her head. "One hair huh...," she mused, "I

know, a pony-tail will be perfect." And again she had a great day.

The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was completely bald.
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"Finally bald huh," she said to herself, "How wonderful! I won't have to waste time doing my hair any

more.."

(Ack CB)

the train travellers story (relationships, assumptions, etc)

A wealthy businessman who is used to getting his own way finds himself sharing a sleeper compartment

with a beautiful young woman as they travel to Brussells on the train. It is winter and the heating is not

working so the compartment is cold.

The two settle down to sleep.

"Two strangers, on a train..." says the businessman.

"Yes," says the woman.

"A man and a woman - away from home - probably never meet again.." Says the businessman.


"It's cold, isn't it?" says the businessman.


"Could you pass me another blanket?" says the businessman, "... Or maybe we could pretend to be man

and wife for tonight?.."

"Yes, that would be good," says the woman, "Get your own bloody blanket."

the william pitt story (working creatively to reach agreement, managing situations and environments,

facilitation of agreements)

There is the story of William Pitt, 1759-1806, British statesman and Prime Minister from 1783-1801, who

once sought to expedite a crucial agreement in Parliament for the movement of the British fleet to

defend against the French. The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Lord Newcastle, had certain objections, but


29/96

when Pitt called on the Chancellor endeavouring to resolve the differences, he found the Chancellor

distinctly unhappy in bed suffering with gout. The bedroom was freezing, and when Pitt remarked on

this, Lord Newcastle replied that the cold weather would hinder the fleet movement, but more

particularly that the combination of the cold conditions and the gout would prevent any further

discussion of the issue at that time, which Pitt quickly judged to be at the root of the problem. Begging

the Chancellor's pardon, Pitt calmly removed his boots, climbed into bed and drew up the covers

(apparently there was another bed in the room..), whereupon the two were able to discuss the matter

and soon agreed a united way forward.

the biscuit factory story (making assumptions, other people's perspectives, individual needs and

motivations)

This is a true story. Some years ago the following exchange was broadcast on an Open University

sociology TV programme.

An interviewer was talking to a female production-line worker in a biscuit factory. The dialogue went like

this:

Interviewer: How long have you worked here?

Production Lady: Since I left school (probably about 15 years).

Interviewer: What do you do?

Production Lady: I take packets of biscuits off the conveyor belt and put them into cardboard boxes.

Interviewer: Have you always done the same job?

Production Lady: Yes.

Interviewer: Do you enjoy it?

Production Lady: Oooh Yes, it's great, everyone is so nice and friendly, we have a good laugh.

Interviewer (with a hint of disbelief): Really? Don't you find it a bit boring?

Production Lady: Oh no, sometimes they change the biscuits...


30/96

My thanks to Shirley Moon for this lovely story, who also points out the following lessons within it:

Do not impose your own needs and ambitions on to other people who may not share them. Don't assume that things that motivate you will motivate someone else. Recognise that sources of happiness may vary widely between people.

See also the sections onpersonality styles,multiple intelligence and learning styles, andmotivation,

which all relate to this story.

a short story about eggs (time management, creative thinking and problem-solving)

A young woman was in her kitchen.

A pan of water was simmering on the stove.

She was making boiled eggs for breakfast.

He walked in.

Their eyes met.

"Make love to me here, now," she said.

They made love on the kitchen table.

"Couldn't resist me, huh?" he said.

"The egg timer is broken," she replied.

Of course this story is a bit far-fetched given that an egg timer lasts for three whole minutes..

(Ack Detoxman)
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the translator story (communications, assumptions, creativity, deceit, language, relationships, just

deserts)

The story goes that a prominent, married, philandering, wealthy politician took advantage of a young

female Italian translator during an overseas visit. Shortly after his return home he received a phone call

at his office from the woman informing him that she was pregnant and that he was definitely the father.

Seemingly experienced at dealing with such situations, the politician instructed the young woman, "I will

arrange for you and the child to be provided for. Do not worry about money. I will pay ten times the

typical Italian settlement, but this must be kept secret."

"I see," said the young woman, a little taken aback, but since she knew the man and his reputation she

was not unduly surprised, and was also entirely happy never to see or speak to him again.

He went on, "Don't ever call me again. Send me a postcard with some sort of coded message confirming

date of birth, that the child is healthy and whether a boy or girl. Use your imagination - you are a

translator after all."

"As you wish," said the young woman, and ended the call.

A little under nine months later the politician's wife (who was also his PA) was opening his mail. When

she came to a particular postcard the politician noticed and suddenly became attentive.

"Here's a postcard..." said his wife.

"Oh yes," said the politician, "What does it say?"

"Just a silly joke I think," said his wife, continuing, as she watched the colour drain from her husband's

face, "It says: 'March 12th - Just had three big beautiful bowls of spaghetti - all with meatballs..' "

(Ack SF)

the helpful old lady story (check the facts, false assumptions, etc)


32/96

One afternoon, an old lady, laden with shopping, noticed two small boys on the front step of a house.

With their bags and uniforms they were obviously going home after school. They were on tip-toe trying

to reach the door-bell with a stick.

"Poor little lads, they can't get in," she thought, "Parents these days just don't seem to care."

So she marched up the path, reached over the boys and gave the bell a long firm push.

The surprised boys turned around and screamed "Quick, run!" and promptly disappeared over the

garden wall.

the buddha and the abuse story (responding to other people's negative behaviour; angry customers,

disruptive kids, bad-tempered bosses, etc)

A tale is told about the Buddha, Gautama (563-483BC), the Indian prince and spiritual leader whose

teachings founded Buddhism. This short story illustrates that every one of us has the choice whether or

not to take personal offence from another person's behaviour.

It is said that on an occasion when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, he found himself on the

receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was for some reason very angry.

The Buddha listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the Buddha said to the group

and to the stranger, "If someone gives a gift to another person, who then chooses to decline it, tell me,

who would then own the gift? The giver or the person who refuses to accept the gift?"

"The giver," said the group after a little thought. "Any fool can see that," added the angry stranger.

"Then it follows, does it not," said the Buddha, "Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their

anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the abuse; whether to make it ours or not. By

our personal response to the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad

feelings."

(This is related toTransactional Analysis)
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the gandhi shoe story (selfless compassion, generosity without strings)

Mohandas [Mahatma] Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948), the great Indian statesman and spiritual leader

is noted for his unusual humanity and selflessness, which this story epitomises. Gandhi was boarding a

train one day with a number of companions and followers, when his shoe fell from his foot and

disappeared in the gap between the train and platform. Unable to retrieve it, he took off his other shoe

and threw it down by the first. Responding to the puzzlement of his fellow travellers, Gandhi explained

that a poor person who finds a single shoe is no better off - what's really helpful is finding a pair.

Separately, Gandhi was once asked what he thought of Western Civilisation. Gandhi replied: "I think that

it would be a very good idea."

The notion still applies.

(Moreinspirational and amusing quotes.)

greta garbo negotiation story (negotiation tactics, negotiating position, independence and the power

of choice)

Great Garbo (1905-90), the 1930's Swedish-born film star, demonstrated how to negotiate with a

bullying adversary, and particularly the tactic of 'walking away'. After Garbo had become established as

a major star, she decided to negotiate a contract that suitably reflected her considerable box-office

value to the producers. Accordingly she demanded a weekly fee of $5,000 - compared to the derisory

$350 a week she'd previously been paid. When film mogul Louis Mayer heard Garbo's demand he

offered her $2,500. Garbo replied simply, in her Swedish-American accent, "I think I go home.." And off

she went.

Garbo returned to her hotel and stayed there, not budging, while Mayer stewed - for seven months - at

which Mayer eventually caved in and gave Garbo what she asked for.

(Interestingly Garbo never actually said, "I want to be alone". There phrase was in fact "I want to be left

alone," which her character Grusinskaya said in Garbo's 1932 film Grand Hotel. The resonance of the

words with Garbo's real life didn't just extend to her negotiating style: she retired in 1941 with the world
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still at her feet, and lived the rest of her life an obsessive recluse in New York after becoming a US citizen

in 1951.)

the jesse james story (tactics, morality, good and bad in us all)

The notorious American Wild West bank robber Jesse James (1847-82) was hunted and demonised by

the authorities, but was held in high regard by many ordinary folk. Here's an example of why:

The story goes that Jesse James and his gang had taken refuge for a few days in ramshackle farmhouse

after one of their raids. The old widow who lived there fed the men, and apologised for her modest

offerings and the poor state of the accommodation. While the gang laid low, they learned from the

widow that she faced eviction from her landlord and was expecting a visit from his debt collector any

day. Taking pity on the old lady, as they left, the gang gave her some of the spoils of their robbery to

settle her debt - several hundred dollars, which was a small fortune in those days. The gang moved on,

but only to a nearby copse, where for a couple more days they watched and waited for the arrival - and

departure - of the debt collector, whom they promptly held up and robbed.

Of course robbing anyone is bad, but if you've got to rob someone...

the gorilla story (negotiating, understanding communications, agreeing clear objectives and

responsibilities)

A zoo had among its animals a female gorilla, whose mood was becoming increasingly difficult. The vet

concluded that she was on heat and that a mate should be found. The vet contacted some other nearby

zoos to find a partner for the broody female, but to no avail. The female gorilla's behaviour continued to

worsen, but the vet noticed that she grew calmer, and strangely responsive, whenever a particularly

well-built and none-too-handsome keeper entered the enclosure. Being an unprincipled and

adventurous fellow, the vet put an outrageous proposition to the keeper: For a fee of five hundred

pounds would the keeper consider spending a little 'quality time' with the gorilla, purely in the interests

of research of course?....


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The keeper, also an unprincipled and adventurous fellow, pondered the suggestion, and after a few

minutes agreed to the offer, subject to three conditions. The vet, intrigued, listened to the keeper's

demands:

"First," the keeper said, "No kissing."

"Fine," said the vet.

"Second, no-one must ever know - if this gets out I'll kill you."

"You have my word," said the vet, "And your final condition?"

"It's just," said the keeper a little awkwardly, "Can I have a couple of weeks to raise the five hundred

quid?"

(With acknowledgements to Shane and apologies to vets and zoo-keepers everywhere.)

the priest and the politician story (time management, being late, public speaking)

After twenty-five years in the same parish, Father O'Shaunessey was saying his farewells at his

retirement dinner. An eminent member of the congregation - a leading politician - had been asked to

make a presentation and a short speech, but was late arriving.

So the priest took it upon himself to fill the time, and stood up to the microphone:

"I remember the first confession I heard here twenty-five years ago and it worried me as to what sort of

place I'd come to... That first confession remains the worst I've ever heard. The chap confessed that he'd

stolen a TV set from a neighbour and lied to the police when questioned, successfully blaming it on a

local scallywag. He said that he'd stolen money from his parents and from his employer; that he'd had

affairs with several of his friends' wives; that he'd taken hard drugs, and had slept with his sister and

given her VD. You can imagine what I thought... However I'm pleased to say that as the days passed I

soon realised that this sad fellow was a frightful exception and that this parish was indeed a wonderful

place full of kind and decent people..."

At this point the politician arrived and apologised for being late, and keen to take the stage, he

immediately stepped up to the microphone and pulled his speech from his pocket:


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"I'll always remember when Father O'Shaunessey first came to our parish," said the politician, "In fact,

I'm pretty certain that I was the first person in the parish that he heard in confession.."

(Ack Stephen Hart)

lipstick kisses on the mirror story (creative thinking, creative problem-solving, creative management

techniques, avoiding confrontation)

A school head was alerted by the caretaker to a persistent problem in the girls lavatories: some of the

girl students were leaving lipstick kisses on the mirrors. The caretaker had left notices on the toilet walls

asking for the practice to cease, but to no avail; every evening the caretaker would wipe away the kisses,

and the next day lots more kisses would be planted on the mirror. It had become a bit of a game. The

head teacher usually took a creative approach to problem solving, and so the next day she asked a few

girl representatives from each class to meet with her in the lavatory.

"Thank you for coming," said the head, "You will see there are several lipstick kisses in the mirrors in this

washroom.."

Some of the girls grinned at each other.

"As you will understand, modern lipstick is cleverly designed to stay on the lips, and so the lipstick is noteasy at all to clean from the mirrors. We have therefore had to develop a special cleaning regime, and

my hope is that when you see the effort involved you will help spread the word that we'd all be better

off if those responsible for the kisses use tissue paper instead of the mirrors in future.."

At this point the caretaker stepped forward with a sponge squeegee, which he took into one of the toilet

cubicles, dipped into the toilet bowl, and then used to clean one of the lipstick-covered mirrors.

The caretaker smiled. The girls departed. And there were no more lipstick kisses on the mirrors.

(Thanks H)

measuring by averages story (analysis, measurement, statistics, etc)


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Three statisticians went hunting in the woods. Before long, one of them pointed to a plump pigeon in a

tree, and the three of them stopped and took aim. The first fired, missing the bird by a couple of inches

to the left. Immediately afterwards the second fired, but also missed, a couple of inches to the right. The

third put down his gun exclaiming, "Great shooting lads, on average I reckon we got it..."

(ack K Hutchinson)

the blind golfers story (an ironic example of lack of empathy, and different people's perspectives)

Warning: This story contains language and a potentially 'offensive stereotype' of visually impaired

person that certain audiences may find objectionable. At the same time, the main message and

purpose of the story is to highlight tendencies of some people to show poor or no regard for the

misfortunes or disabilities of others, and in this context the story has a value if used carefully.

Neverthess be very cautious how you use this story. Alter the language appropriately where

warranted, and if in doubt do not use the story at all.

A clergyman, a doctor and a business consultant were playing golf together one day and were waiting

for a particularly slow group ahead. The business consultant exclaimed, "What's with these people?

We've been waiting over half and hour! It's a complete disgrace." The doctor agreed, "They're hopeless,

I've never seen such a rabble on a golf course." The clergyman spotted the approaching greenkeeper

and asked him what was going on, "What's happening with that group ahead of us? They're surely too

slow and useless to be playing, aren't they?" The greenkeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind

(visually impaired) fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we

always let them play for free anytime." The three golfers fell silent for a moment. The clergyman said,

"Oh dear, that's so sad. I shall say some special prayers for them tonight." The doctor added, rather

meekly, "That's a good thought. I'll get in touch with an ophthalmic surgeon friend of mine to see if

there's anything that can be done for them." After pondering the situation for a few seconds, the

business consultant turned to the greenkeeper and asked, "Why can't they play at night?"

(Other job-titles can be substituted instead of business consultant to suit the purpose of the story, for

example, government advisor, venture capitalist, engineer, project manager, accountant, finance

director, quality manager, etc)


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the sales and marketing rugby analogy story (for teams, motivation, team-building, departmental

cooperation, training, public speaking)

I am assured this is a true story. A consultant was asked to give a talk at a sales conference. The CEO

asks him to focus on the importance of cooperation and teamwork between the sales and marketing

teams, since neither group has a particularly high regard for the other, and the lack of cohesion and

goodwill is hampering effectiveness and morale. The marketing staff constantly moan about the sales

people 'doing their own thing' and 'failing to follow central strategy'; and the sales people say that the

marketing people are all 'idle theorists who waste their time at exhibitions and agency lunches' and

have 'never done a decent day's work in their lives'.

Being a lover of rugby, the consultant decides to use the analogy of a rugby team's forwards and backs

working together to achieve the best team performance:

"......So, just as in the game of rugby, the forwards, like the marketing department, do the initial work

to create the platform and to make the opportunities, and then pass the ball out to the backs, the sales

department, who then use their skills and energy to score the tries. The forwards and the backs, just

like marketing and sales, are each good at what they do: and they work together so that the team

wins..." said the consultant, finishing his talk.

The audience seemed to respond positively, and the conference broke for lunch. At the bar the

consultant asked one of the top sales-people what he'd thought of the analogy - had it given him food

for thought?

"Yes, I see what you mean," said the salesman, "It does make sense. The sales people - the backs, yes? -

the backs need the marketing department - the forwards, yes? - to make the opportunities for us, so

that we, the backs, can go and score the tries - to win the business. We work together as a team - each

playing our own part - working as a team."

The consultant beamed and nodded enthusiastically, only to be utterly dashed when the salesman

added as an afterthought, "I still think our forwards are a bunch of wankers..."

(with thanks to Martin Deighton)


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the lock and key story (kindness and generosity, 'good pebble ripples', memorable customer service

experiences)

A British family were on holiday in a rented motor-home in the USA. Travelling through California they

visited the Magic Mountain amusement park close by Los Angeles. Mid-afternoon, halfway through

what was turning out to be a most enjoyable day at the park, Mum, Dad and the three kids came upon a

particularly steep plummeting ride. In the queue, the ride attendants strongly warned everyone about

the risks of losing hats, spectacles, coins and keys, etc., and these warnings were echoed by large signs

around the ride. During the ride, Dad lost the keys.

Due to the fact that the motor-home was a replacement vehicle resulting from a breakdown earlier in

the holiday, there were no spare keys. And there were six keys on the lost bunch: ignition, front doors,

side door, fuel tank, propane tank, and storage cupboards.

The park attendants drove the family back to the motor-home, suggesting the least damaging ways to

break into it.

Fortunately a window had been left slightly open, enabling the middle son to be put in and to open the

doors from the inside.

Inside the motor-home Mum and Dad discussed what to do. They were stranded.

Middle son (all of six years old) said he'd got a key - said he'd found it - but no-one was listening

properly. "Perhaps it will fit, I'll get it." (The optimism of young children of course knows no bounds.)

Not thinking for one second that little lad's key would fit, Dad tried it. Incredibly the key fitted the

ignition - and the driver's door. Middle son is a hero. It seems he'd found the key in a cupboard when

packing his clothes soon after the motor-homes were swapped after the first vehicle broke down.

The next day back at the camp site, Dad called a local locksmith to see what could be done.

"I might be able to make new keys from the locks, if you bring the vehicle to me," said the locksmith, so

the family drove to the locksmith, whose business was in a small shopping centre in the California

countryside.


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The locksmith looked at the motor-home, and said he'd try. "If you come back in an hour I'll know better

what I can do for you."

The family went to the nearby shops and a coffee bar to pass the time. Dad returned to the locksmith to

see how things were going. The locksmith says he thought he could make new keys for all the locks, butit would be a long job.

In fact the job took the locksmith most of the day. The family hung around the locksmiths, visited the

shops again, and generally made a day of being at the little shopping centre. While working on the locks

and the keys, the locksmith talked with the family about England, about America, about the rides at Las

Vegas, about motor-homes, about business, about locks, about families and kids, about lots of things.

Late on in the afternoon the locksmith said that he'd nearly done - "But you have time to go get

something to eat if you want. When you come back I'll be done." So the family went to a burger bar for

something to eat.

An hour later the family returned to the locksmith's shop. It was 4pm and they'd been at the shopping

centre since 10.00 in the morning.

When Dad entered the locksmith's shop the locksmith was smiling. He put two new gleaming bunches of

keys on the counter. "Here you go - a new set of keys for all the locks, and a spare set too," said the

locksmith, "And I tell you what I'm going to do..."

Dad offered his credit card, gratefully.

"You know, I've had such a great time with you guys today," says the locksmith, "You can have these for

free."

This is a true story. It happened over ten years ago. I still tell people about it now, like I'm telling you.

The company isNewhall Valencia Lock & Key, in the El Centro Shopping Center, Canyon Country,

California. This little company gave me and my family an experience that transcended customer service,

and I was delighted when I found their business card in my kitchen drawer the other day, because it

prompted me to share this story and to properly express my thanks.

Just a final note - I'm not suggesting that great customer service is about giving your products and

services away. Obviously that's not a particularly sustainable business model. What I'm saying though, is
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that there are times when you'll see opportunity to do something really special for a customer, or for

another human being, and when you do it, the ripples of your 'good pebble' can stretch around the

world, and last for years and years. So, within the boundaries of what's possible and viable for you, drop

in a good pebble whenever you can and make some ripples of your own.

the stranger and the gingernuts story (making assumptions, think before you act, different

perspectives)

At the airport after a tiring business trip a lady's return flight was delayed. She went to the airport shop,

bought a book, a coffee and a small packet containing five gingernut biscuits. The airport was crowded

and she found a seat in the lounge, next to a stranger. After a few minutes' reading she became

absorbed in her book. She took a biscuit from the packet and began to drink her coffee. To her great

surprise, the stranger in the next seat calmly took one of the biscuits and ate it. Stunned, she couldn't

bring herself to say anything, nor even to look at the stranger. Nervously she continued reading. After a

few minutes she slowly picked up and ate the third biscuit. Incredibly, the stranger took the fourth

gingernut and ate it, then to the woman's amazement, he picked up the packet and offered her the last

biscuit. This being too much to tolerate, the lady angrily picked up her belongings, gave the stranger an

indignant scowl and marched off to the boarding gate, where her flight was now ready. Flustered and

enraged, she reached inside her bag for her boarding ticket, and found her unopened packet of

gingernuts...

(Adapted from a suggestion submitted by S Frost. Apparently the story appears in a variety of urban

legends dating from at least 30 years ago, and is also described in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to

the Galaxy, book four, 1984, 'So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish'. Ack L Baldock.)

the england football story (cause and effect, foundations of failure, fundamental strategy, structure,

planning and philosophy, strategic analysis)

When a business fails or struggles in some other way people commonly look for recent tactical or

incidental causes, but the roots of failure are usually far deeper in foundational strategies, structures

and philosophies.


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The poor performance of the England football team at the FIFA 2010 World Cup offers an example of a

venture inflicted with fundamental problems, and therefore likely to fail.

Here are some indicators (as at FIFA World Cup 2010) of foundational weakness and vulnerability in the

basic organization and ethos of the England national football effort. Think of it like a business. Success isdifficult when foundations are flaky and misaligned. With a little imagination it is easy to relate these

lessons/examples to the business world.

The English Premiership (England's top domestic league and effectively the pool from which the national

team is selected) is dominated by clubs which are:

Mostly owned, and the teams managed/coached, by people/

stories for teaching

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