Stress, Fear, Anxiety – Stress, Fear, Anxiety – Dealing with it the Sai WayDealing with it the Sai Way

Real Problems - StatisticsReal Problems - StatisticsFear Statistics Fear Statistics (National Institute of Mental Health 2003)(National Institute of Mental Health 2003)– Social Fear (5.3 million)Social Fear (5.3 million)– Open, Crowded, Public space fear (3.2 million)Open, Crowded, Public space fear (3.2 million)– Specific Fear (6.3 million)Specific Fear (6.3 million)

Anxiety DisordersAnxiety Disorders (National Institute of Mental Health 2005)(National Institute of Mental Health 2005)– Panic Disorders (2.4 million)Panic Disorders (2.4 million)– Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (3.3 million)Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (3.3 million)– Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (5.2 million)Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (5.2 million)– Generalized Anxiety Disorder (4 million)Generalized Anxiety Disorder (4 million)

Stress StatisticsStress Statistics (American Psychological Association Survey (American Psychological Association Survey 2004)2004)– Two-thirds of Americans say they are likely to seek help for stressTwo-thirds of Americans say they are likely to seek help for stress– 54% Americans are concerned about the level of stress in their daily life54% Americans are concerned about the level of stress in their daily life– 62% Americans say work has a significant impact on their stress level62% Americans say work has a significant impact on their stress level– 61% Americans say heavy workload has a significant impact on work stress61% Americans say heavy workload has a significant impact on work stress– 73% Americans name ‘money’ as the number one factor that affects stress 73% Americans name ‘money’ as the number one factor that affects stress

levelslevels

What is Fear?What is Fear?Everyone has experienced fear at some point in their Everyone has experienced fear at some point in their life. It has a legitimate function or alerting us of a life. It has a legitimate function or alerting us of a possible danger. Fear causes:possible danger. Fear causes:

– Release of adrenaline and other chemicals in our body to Release of adrenaline and other chemicals in our body to help us cope. help us cope.

– Our breathing to become shallow and helps us decide to fight Our breathing to become shallow and helps us decide to fight or take flight (run away).or take flight (run away).

– Our pulse to become rapid and heart to pound – sometimes Our pulse to become rapid and heart to pound – sometimes even stop. even stop.

– Our consciousness to become focused on the object of fear Our consciousness to become focused on the object of fear and peripheral vision to scan surroundings to find a path of and peripheral vision to scan surroundings to find a path of escape.escape.

What is Anxiety?What is Anxiety?Anxiety is a feeling of apprehension or fear, but has more to do Anxiety is a feeling of apprehension or fear, but has more to do with imagined fear than a physically tangible danger.with imagined fear than a physically tangible danger.– Generalized Anxiety DisorderGeneralized Anxiety Disorder

Caused by excessive, unrealistic worryCaused by excessive, unrealistic worry

– Obsessive Compulsive DisorderObsessive Compulsive DisorderCaused by persistent, recurring thoughtsCaused by persistent, recurring thoughts

– Panic DisorderPanic DisorderCharacterized by severe distress, making an individual feel that they are Characterized by severe distress, making an individual feel that they are having health problems and losing controlhaving health problems and losing control

– Post Traumatic Stress DisorderPost Traumatic Stress DisorderFollowed by a traumatic incident like physical accident, death of a loved Followed by a traumatic incident like physical accident, death of a loved one or any other disasterone or any other disaster

– Social Anxiety DisorderSocial Anxiety DisorderCharacterized by extreme anxiety of being judged by othersCharacterized by extreme anxiety of being judged by others

What is Stress?What is Stress?A specific response by the body to a stimulus such as fear or A specific response by the body to a stimulus such as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.equilibrium of an organism.– The world around us is in a constant state of change and this is perceived by The world around us is in a constant state of change and this is perceived by

our five physical senses: Eyes (Sight), Ears (Hearing), Nose (Smell), Tongue our five physical senses: Eyes (Sight), Ears (Hearing), Nose (Smell), Tongue (Taste) and Touch. Since the environment is constantly changing, we are (Taste) and Touch. Since the environment is constantly changing, we are subject to some level of stress at all times. “Our system is equipped to subject to some level of stress at all times. “Our system is equipped to handle a normal level of stress”. handle a normal level of stress”.

The degree by which The degree by which someone gets stressed is someone gets stressed is directly dependent on the directly dependent on the change itself, the bigger the change itself, the bigger the change, the greater is the change, the greater is the amount of stress.amount of stress.

What is Stress?What is Stress?Physiological Changes due to StressPhysiological Changes due to Stress– ““Whenever danger or any stressful situation is sensed, the brain Whenever danger or any stressful situation is sensed, the brain

sets off a chemical alert and the nervous system responds by sets off a chemical alert and the nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones. These hormones race through releasing a flood of stress hormones. These hormones race through the blood stream readying us to either flee the scene or battle it the blood stream readying us to either flee the scene or battle it out. Our heart rate and blood flow to the large muscles increase so out. Our heart rate and blood flow to the large muscles increase so we can run faster and fight harder. Blood vessels under the skin we can run faster and fight harder. Blood vessels under the skin constrict to prevent blood loss in case of injury, pupils dilate so we constrict to prevent blood loss in case of injury, pupils dilate so we see better and our blood sugar ramps up giving us an energy boost see better and our blood sugar ramps up giving us an energy boost in speeding up reaction time. At the same time, body parts that are in speeding up reaction time. At the same time, body parts that are not essential to immediate survival are suppressed. The digestive not essential to immediate survival are suppressed. The digestive and reproductive systems slow down, growth hormones are and reproductive systems slow down, growth hormones are switched off and the immune process is inhibited. Chronic stress switched off and the immune process is inhibited. Chronic stress leads to adrenal problems and inability of the adrenal glands to leads to adrenal problems and inability of the adrenal glands to produce energy efficiently and when we need it.”produce energy efficiently and when we need it.”

Effect of extreme StressEffect of extreme Stress– If you have a bucket and you keep pouring water into it, there will If you have a bucket and you keep pouring water into it, there will

come a point when the bucket gets full and overflows. Similarly, come a point when the bucket gets full and overflows. Similarly, stress that can be managed has a limit (which happens to be stress that can be managed has a limit (which happens to be different for different people) and can eventually result in a different for different people) and can eventually result in a psychotic breakdown of sorts. No matter how resilient you are to psychotic breakdown of sorts. No matter how resilient you are to stress. stress.

Performance Vs StressPerformance Vs Stress

Effects of StressEffects of StressCause chronic fatigueCause chronic fatigue

Affect blood cells that Affect blood cells that help fend off infection, help fend off infection, increasing risk of falling increasing risk of falling sicksick

Increased blood pressure Increased blood pressure and increased risk of and increased risk of strokestroke

Increased risk of heart Increased risk of heart attackattack

Make an asthma attack Make an asthma attack worseworse

Swami Says’Swami Says’““Why is man afflicted today with fear and Why is man afflicted today with fear and anxiety? Are we to search for the reasons anxiety? Are we to search for the reasons outside us or do they lie within us? The outside us or do they lie within us? The reason lies in the false emphasis we have reason lies in the false emphasis we have laid on things of the material world, laid on things of the material world, ignoring things of the spirit. The body that ignoring things of the spirit. The body that man bears is essentially the receptacle of man bears is essentially the receptacle of God. It is a temple, where God is installed God. It is a temple, where God is installed and where God is the Master.”and where God is the Master.”

Baba – The breath of Sai, pp. 223Baba – The breath of Sai, pp. 223

QuestionWhat is Swami referring to? What are these factors that contribute to increased levels of fear, anxiety and stress?

Sources of StressSources of StressStressors can be categorized as:Stressors can be categorized as:– Significant life adjustmentsSignificant life adjustments– Daily routines – at home and workDaily routines – at home and work– Unrealistic self expectationsUnrealistic self expectations– Interpersonal relationshipsInterpersonal relationships– Unavoidable circumstancesUnavoidable circumstances

ExamplesExamples– Family problemsFamily problems - Mental Illness- Mental Illness - Elder care- Elder care– Child careChild care - Financial - Financial - Legal Issues- Legal Issues– Grief and lossGrief and loss - Work- Work - Addictions- Addictions– Health concernsHealth concerns - Balancing work and family- Balancing work and family– Time managementTime management - Change management- Change management– Anger managementAnger management

Swami Says’Swami Says’““Bring the recurrent desires of your mind Bring the recurrent desires of your mind to me, every time they emerge. They to me, every time they emerge. They cannot shock me, for I willed them! cannot shock me, for I willed them! Bring Me your confusion, your fear, your Bring Me your confusion, your fear, your craving, your anxiety, your inability to craving, your anxiety, your inability to love the world, your hesitation to serve, love the world, your hesitation to serve, your jealousy, all the deficiencies that your jealousy, all the deficiencies that defy your sadhana.” defy your sadhana.”

New York Devotee InterviewNew York Devotee Interview

QuestionWhy is it that we find it difficult to offer all our worries, fears and desires to Swami? Is it the lack of faith and trust?

Swami Says’Swami Says’““The Lord is the unseen foundation on which The Lord is the unseen foundation on which your life is built. He is the source, sustenance your life is built. He is the source, sustenance and strength. Without his Will, no leaf can and strength. Without his Will, no leaf can turn, no blade of grass can quiver. What firmer turn, no blade of grass can quiver. What firmer foundation can you desire than this? Once you foundation can you desire than this? Once you know that the Lord, the omnipotent Power, is know that the Lord, the omnipotent Power, is the mainspring of your life, there will be no the mainspring of your life, there will be no fear any more. When you suspect the strength fear any more. When you suspect the strength of the foundation of a house, you are afraid to of the foundation of a house, you are afraid to enter it; when you suspect the skill of the enter it; when you suspect the skill of the manufacturer, you are nervous to ride in the manufacturer, you are nervous to ride in the car. Bhishma and other Bhakthas as well as car. Bhishma and other Bhakthas as well as Sankara and other Jnanis knew that the Lord is Sankara and other Jnanis knew that the Lord is the Aadhaara, and so they had no fear at all. the Aadhaara, and so they had no fear at all. But, that faith has not taken root in man today But, that faith has not taken root in man today and so, this has become an and so, this has become an age of fear and age of fear and anxiety, of saanthi.”anxiety, of saanthi.”

Sanathan Sarathi, May 1995Sanathan Sarathi, May 1995

Coping with Stress – Unhealthy WaysCoping with Stress – Unhealthy Ways

SmokingSmokingAlcoholismAlcoholismOvereating or Under-eatingOvereating or Under-eatingZoning out in front of the TV or Zoning out in front of the TV or Computer for hours togetherComputer for hours togetherWithdrawal from friends, Withdrawal from friends, family and activitiesfamily and activitiesSleeping too muchSleeping too muchProcrastinatingProcrastinatingFilling up every minute of the Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problemsday to avoid facing problemsTaking out stress on others Taking out stress on others (lashing out, anger)(lashing out, anger)

Swami Says’Swami Says’““If every person observes three things, he If every person observes three things, he will be one with Swami. You will will be one with Swami. You will experience the Divine in you. As these experience the Divine in you. As these three are in me, I can declare firmly about three are in me, I can declare firmly about them. They are three P’s: Purity, Patience them. They are three P’s: Purity, Patience and Perseverance. These three are in me and Perseverance. These three are in me and around me. Anyone with these three and around me. Anyone with these three qualities will be unafraid wherever they qualities will be unafraid wherever they may be.”may be.”

Sanathan Sarathi, December 1993Sanathan Sarathi, December 1993

QuestionWhat should we do to practice the three P’s? Will that result in a worry free, fear free, stress free life leading us towards realizing divinity?

Coping with StressCoping with Stress

How do we get here?

Swami Says’Swami Says’““Man must engage himself in such tasks Man must engage himself in such tasks as will confer on him peace and lasting as will confer on him peace and lasting joy. Man must examine for himself the joy. Man must examine for himself the merits of various activities, and choose merits of various activities, and choose only such as will benefit him. He desires only such as will benefit him. He desires peace and cultivates worry and anxiety. peace and cultivates worry and anxiety. Planting a lime tree, he hopes to get Planting a lime tree, he hopes to get mangoes therefrom. This is sheer mangoes therefrom. This is sheer ignorance or willful blindness or the result ignorance or willful blindness or the result of misguidance.”of misguidance.”

SSS Vol. VI Chapter 3SSS Vol. VI Chapter 3

Coping with StressCoping with StressDealing with Stressful situations – The four A’sDealing with Stressful situations – The four A’s– Change the situationChange the situation

Avoid the stressor – Avoid the stressor – A lot of the problems can be avoidedA lot of the problems can be avoided..

Alter the stressor – Alter the stressor – If a problem cannot be avoided, address it so If a problem cannot be avoided, address it so that it does not present itself in future.that it does not present itself in future.

– Change your reactionChange your reactionAdapt to the stressor – Adapt to the stressor – If you can’t change the stressor, change If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense control by changing expectations and attitude.control by changing expectations and attitude.

Accept the stressor – Accept the stressor – Some sources of stress are unavoidable and Some sources of stress are unavoidable and the best way to deal with them is to accept them as they are.the best way to deal with them is to accept them as they are.

Coping with StressCoping with StressAvoid the stressorAvoid the stressor– Learn to say ‘no’ –Learn to say ‘no’ – Know your limits and stick to them, whether in Know your limits and stick to them, whether in

personal or professional life.personal or professional life.

– Avoid people who stress you out – Avoid people who stress you out – If a relationship does not turn If a relationship does not turn around, limit the time spent with them.around, limit the time spent with them.

– Take control of your environment – Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you If the evening news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. If the traffic makes you tense, use a less frequented anxious, turn off the TV. If the traffic makes you tense, use a less frequented route.route.

– Avoid hot button topics – Avoid hot button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list.them off your conversation list.

– Pare down your to-do list – Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, Analyze your schedule, responsibilities and daily tasks. Distinguish between the must and responsibilities and daily tasks. Distinguish between the must and the should’s.the should’s.

Coping with StressCoping with Stress

Alter the situationAlter the situation– Express your feelings –Express your feelings – If something or someone is If something or someone is

bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way.respectful way.

– Be willing to compromise –Be willing to compromise – When you ask someone to When you ask someone to

change their behavior, be open to doing the same.change their behavior, be open to doing the same.

– Be more assertive –Be more assertive – Being assertive makes it easier for Being assertive makes it easier for people to understand your stance and where you are coming from people to understand your stance and where you are coming from instead of taking you for granted.instead of taking you for granted.

– Manage your time better –Manage your time better – Poor time management can Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you are stretched too thin or running cause a lot of stress. When you are stretched too thin or running behind, its hard to stay calm and focused. behind, its hard to stay calm and focused.

Coping with StressCoping with Stress

Adapt to the stressorAdapt to the stressor– Reframe problems –Reframe problems – Make the best of what you have. If you Make the best of what you have. If you

are stuck in traffic, instead of being angry, take the time to listen to are stuck in traffic, instead of being angry, take the time to listen to the radio or just plan for the day ahead.the radio or just plan for the day ahead.

– Look at the big picture –Look at the big picture – Take perspective of the stressful Take perspective of the stressful situation and see where it fits in the long run, whether it is worth situation and see where it fits in the long run, whether it is worth spending the time and energy.spending the time and energy.

– Adjust your standards –Adjust your standards – Perfectionism is a major source for Perfectionism is a major source for avoidable stress. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others avoidable stress. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others and learn to be ok with “good enough”.and learn to be ok with “good enough”.

– Focus on the positive –Focus on the positive – Every situation has two sides to it, Every situation has two sides to it, positive and negative. Learn to focus on the positives of situations positive and negative. Learn to focus on the positives of situations and people.and people.

Coping with StressCoping with StressAccept the stressorAccept the stressor– Don’t try to control the uncontrollable –Don’t try to control the uncontrollable – Not everything Not everything

is under your control, for eg., weather, people’s behavior etc. Rather is under your control, for eg., weather, people’s behavior etc. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on things you can control, like, than stressing out over them, focus on things you can control, like, the way you react to a problem.the way you react to a problem.

– Look for the upside –Look for the upside – When facing major challenges, look for When facing major challenges, look for opportunities for personal growth, learn from your mistakes.opportunities for personal growth, learn from your mistakes.

– Share your feelings –Share your feelings – Talk to a trusted friend or make an Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a professional to help you.appointment with a professional to help you.

– Learn to forgive –Learn to forgive – Accept the fact that people make mistakes. Accept the fact that people make mistakes.

Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and move on.Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and move on.

Coping with StressCoping with StressMake time for fun and relaxationMake time for fun and relaxation– Set aside relaxation time - Set aside relaxation time - Include rest and relaxation in your Include rest and relaxation in your

daily schedule.daily schedule.Go for a walk, Spend time in nature, Work in the garden, Get a massage, Go for a walk, Spend time in nature, Work in the garden, Get a massage, MeditateMeditate

– Connect with others - Connect with others - Spend time with positive people who Spend time with positive people who enhance your lifeenhance your life

Call a friend, Play with a petCall a friend, Play with a pet

– Do something you enjoy everyday - Do something you enjoy everyday - Make time for leisure Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy and peace.activities that bring you joy and peace.

Write a journal (blogging), Read a book, Savor a warm cup of coffee or Write a journal (blogging), Read a book, Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea, Listen to musictea, Listen to music

– Keep your sense of humor - Keep your sense of humor - The act of laughing helps your body The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.fight stress in a number of ways.

Watch a comedy, Share jokes with friends, Laughing clubWatch a comedy, Share jokes with friends, Laughing club

Coping with StressCoping with StressAdopt a healthy lifestyleAdopt a healthy lifestyle– Exercise regularly -Exercise regularly - Physical activity plays a key role in reducing the Physical activity plays a key role in reducing the

effects of stress.effects of stress.

– Eat a healthy diet –Eat a healthy diet – Well nourished bodies are better equipped to cope Well nourished bodies are better equipped to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. with stress, so be mindful of what you eat.

– Reduce caffeine and sugarReduce caffeine and sugar – – The temporary “highs” caffeine and The temporary “highs” caffeine and sugar provide often end with a crash in mood and energy.sugar provide often end with a crash in mood and energy.

– Avoid alcohol and cigarettes –Avoid alcohol and cigarettes – Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind. deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.

– Get enough sleep –Get enough sleep – Adequate sleep fuels the mind and the body. Adequate sleep fuels the mind and the body. Feeling tired increases stress because it causes one to think irrationally.Feeling tired increases stress because it causes one to think irrationally.

Coping with StressCoping with StressAdopt spiritual waysAdopt spiritual ways– Pray OftenPray Often

Praying helps stay focused and connected with god, leaving one calmer, Praying helps stay focused and connected with god, leaving one calmer, safer and with a more grounded feeling which acts as a buffer against safer and with a more grounded feeling which acts as a buffer against stress.stress.

– Express GratitudeExpress GratitudeJust be thankful for little favors in life and for whatever Swami does for Just be thankful for little favors in life and for whatever Swami does for us.us.

– Be IntrinsicBe IntrinsicBe more internally focused rather than having an outwards look towards Be more internally focused rather than having an outwards look towards life. life.

– Be OptimisticBe OptimisticHave a positive outlook towards life.Have a positive outlook towards life.

– Find the lessonFind the lessonTry to learn from your mistakesTry to learn from your mistakes

– Use the law of attractionUse the law of attractionGood thoughts and actions attract good.Good thoughts and actions attract good.

Swami Says’Swami Says’““We will achieve victory in every walk of life We will achieve victory in every walk of life when we foster good thoughts and good when we foster good thoughts and good deeds. Today is the first day of the New year. deeds. Today is the first day of the New year. From today onwards, all devotees must From today onwards, all devotees must undertake his holy task. Past is past. Do not undertake his holy task. Past is past. Do not think of the future, because it is not in our think of the future, because it is not in our hands. What is the guarantee that we will live hands. What is the guarantee that we will live until tomorrow? Therefore, this present time is until tomorrow? Therefore, this present time is very important. Make good use of it. Do not go very important. Make good use of it. Do not go against your inner self. That is what I tell my against your inner self. That is what I tell my children, the students here, “Follow the children, the students here, “Follow the master”. Who is your master? Your inner self master”. Who is your master? Your inner self is your master. So there is no need for anyone is your master. So there is no need for anyone else; follow your own inner self. That is your else; follow your own inner self. That is your god. That is your happiness. That is your god. That is your happiness. That is your wealth. That is your peace. Happiness and wealth. That is your peace. Happiness and peace are not outside.”peace are not outside.”

Divine Discourse, 1989Divine Discourse, 1989

Swami Says’Swami Says’I shall be ever with you, wherever you are, guarding you and guiding you. March on, have no fear.

Why fear when I am here? Put all your faith in Me. I shall guide and guard you.