student council pilot
DESCRIPTION
A mocumeantary featuring a dysfuntional group of teenagers running the student council at their suburban high school.TRANSCRIPT
STUDENT COUNCIL Pilot
Written and created by
W.K Sharah
© 2015 All Rights Reserved
Khadija Warsame.
Characters: President (Matthew): Average Dork; Junior.
Matthew is an average kid. He is very geeky and has trouble
taking care of matters with his rowdy team.
Vice President(Tracy): Stereotypical Asian Girl; Junior.
Tracy plays the piano, has a brown belt in karate and very
intense with her grades. Matthew is her arch nemesis; she is
continuously trying to get him impeached.
Secretary (Min): Quiet Asian; Sophomore. Always in the
corner writing down everything the council says. Always
asked if she agrees on the subject but is then simply
answered for.
Treasurer (Brianne): Sassy Black Girl; Junior. Friendly as
long as you stay on her good side.
Sports Rep (Jeremy): Chubby Idiot; Junior. An overweight
guy, who is very feminine but refuses to accept it.
Club Rep(Marcy): Popular Dumb Blonde; Junior. Marcy acts
self absorbed to fit in with her popular friends, but she
really has a very deep and complex personality.
Eco Rep(Layna): Hippie Chick; Junior. A religious girl who
is always referring to beliefs of multiple different
religions. Has a calm attitude and positive outlook on life.
Senior Rep(Dylan): Punk Man; Junior. A bad boy type who has
no interest in being on student council, but is forced due
to the circumstances. Dylan always upstages Matthew with
better ideas.
Junior Rep (José): No English Mexican; Sophomore. A kid from
Mexico who doesn’t speak a word of English but understands
it perfectly.
Advisor (Naina): Junior. A rich Indian girl whose father is
a superintendent. She joined the council in order to get
closer to Matthew.
Staff Supervisor(Hugh Bartram): Mid 30’s. An eccentric
teacher who is only running the council because he was put
on probation.
Marvin: Late 20’s. Hugh’s student assistant who has major
social issues.
2.
COLD OPEN: HUGH TALKING TO HEAD
HUGH
I did it! They asked for a student
council, I got them a student
council.
A couple of days ago, Tanly brought
in some hippies to talk about
diversity and crap-- and then it
got me thinking: diversity +
student council equals a one way
train ticket out of probation town
for Daddy!
Of course I had to pick all the
students myself, otherwise I would
have ended up with the usual line
of White rich kids and
over-achieving Asians.
Even so, I still had to pick very,
very carefully.
INSERT: Footage of Hugh pointing to oblivious students at
random in the cafeteria and Marvin writing it down.
HUGH
Him, her, him, her
INT.STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM -- DAY 1
Hugh is standing behind a long line of office chairs
HUGH
Today! I’ve made student council
diversity history. I bring you;
Goth Guy, Chubby Idiot, Popular
Blonde Girl, Sassy Black Girl,
Hippie Chick, Quiet Asian, No
English Mexican, Smart Asian, and
last but certainly least, Average
Dude.
As Hugh says each of the names, he turns the chairs around
to reveal the members.
DYLAN
I’m a hipster!
BRIANNE
What did you call me? Black Girl?
Mr., I am chocolate.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
MARVIN
(whispers to camera)
Sassy
LAYNA
I don’t think you understand the
word,’diversity’.
BRIANNE
Who do you think you are?
HUGH
I thought you’d never ask! Hello
everyone! My name is Mr. Bartram.
but you can call me Hugh.
LAYNA
Aren’t you that history teacher
that cries after the documentaries?
My sister got you a tissue box for
Christmas.
HUGH TALKING TO HEAD
HUGH
I’d like to get one thing straight.
Those were tears of joy! And it was
four years ago. The kids that
actually witnessed it probably have
grandchildren that go here.
INT.STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM -- DAY 1 CONT’D
HUGH
Anyways, I am not just a history
teacher now, I am also the head of
student council.
(beat)
The students all look puzzled
HUGH
You guys are my student council.
JEREMY
What! He told me this was the
cafeteria food critics club.
Marvin smirks at the camera
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.
TRACY
So who’s president? I’m president,
right?
HUGH
Ah yes positions! Senior Rep,
Sports Rep, Club Rep, Treasurer,
Eco Rep, Secretary, Junior Rep,
Vice President and Presi-
TRACY
Excuse me?! Vice president? Are you
serious? You just said I was the
smart Asian and you’re making this
average idiot president? This is a
conspiracy.
HUGH
First of all, it’s average dude,
not idiot. Second of all, I
actually don’t have a second of all
TRACY
How dare you do this to me? I will
destroy you Mr Bartram
HUGH
First of all, it’s Hugh-
Tracy slams the door on her way out
MARVIN
Her nickname should have been
Annoying Asian
(beat)
Margo points to Jeremy
MARGO
I’m sorry, are we not going to talk
about the fact that he is sports
rep?
JOSE
(In Spanish)
Oh my God
5.
INT.STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM -- DAY 1
The camera pans the student council room. The upstairs is a
hangout area, while the downstairs has desks and a long
table for discussions.
BRIANNE
Are we on an episode of cribs
school style?
LAYNA
This place is totally rad!
MARGO
She is killing me!
JOSE
(In Spanish)
Shut up ugly blonde wench.
DYLAN
Does this guy speak English at all?
MARVIN
What do you think we meant by No
English Mexican?
HUGH
Jose here understands English
perfectly but he can’t speak a word
himself.
Jose moves closer to Layna, and grabs her hand.
JOSE
(In Spanish)
Hello flower girl , your freckles
look like carrots in my rice.
Layna hesitates
MARGO
Okay! That’s it! This is insane!
Let’s face it, you have no idea
what you’re doing. You gave us all
offensive nicknames,
HUGH
(To camera)
Which were accurate....
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.
MARGO
Two of your members can’t even
communicate properly. Your vice
president just walked out on you
and is now threatening to ruin your
career. Obviously you have no
common sense as you picked an obese
guy who probably needs his insulin
around now to be sports rep.
JEREMY
I’m neither diabetic nor obese
MARGO
And a president who hasn’t said a
word since we got here!
All eyes turn towards Matthew
MATTHEW
(coughs) Eh hem
Margo gives him a look, challenging him to say something
MATTHEW
Hi?
MARGO
Make that two people
Margo storms out of the room
DYLAN
I’m out too. I don’t have time pull
up Google translate every time No
English speaks.
Dylan leaves the room
BRIANNE
Well, I’m not leaving
BRIANNE TALKING TO HEAD
BRIANNE
Nah, I don’t really care that I’m
not president. I’m already the head
of my own club- The Beehive
We are a fan club dedicated to the
Beyonce and all her greatness
7.
INSERT: FOOTAGE OF THE BEEHIVE MEETING
The girls are all dressed in blue jeans, red converse and
white T- shirts, channeling the Crazy In Love video
BRIANNE
Alright, let’s begin today’s
meeting
They all shift their hands in the Single Ladies motion
CLARA
Rupert Everett reportedly stated
that our Queen has...
(Disgusted whisper)
....thunder thighs
All gasps
BRIANNE
Swarm him!
INT.STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM -- DAY 1
Brianne goes upstairs, along with Layna, Jeremy, Min and
Jose. They are all in awe of how cool the upstairs is.
Matthew is downstairs, spinning in the office chair.
HUGH
Average, we need to talk
Hugh, stops the chair from spinning
MATTHEW
Would you stop calling me average?
HUGH
Would you prefer mediocre?
MATTHEW
Why did you make me president
anyways?
HUGH
Because you remind me of myself. I
wasn’t always this flamboyant, no,
I was once average too. But I was a
good kid, smart, and nice. I see
that in you too. Now stop acting
like PMSing girl and get to work.
Hugh gets up to leave
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.
MATTHEW
Work on what?
HUGH
Keeping this dysfunctional council
together.
Hugh leaves the room, leaving Marvin and Matthew alone.
Marvin moves to place his hand on the back of Matthew’s
shoulder.
MARVIN
I too, see myself in you.
Matthew gives the camera a bizarre look.
ACT 2
INT. GYM 1 -- DAY 2
Principal Tanly is on the stage speaking into a microphone
in front of the students.
PRINCIPAL TANLY
Bullying is unacceptable and it
will no longer be tolerated.
Whether it be cyber, physical,
verbal, or even mental. That’s
right, if you’re even thinking
about bullying someone, detention
for a week!
The crowd erupts in ’boos’
PRINCIPAL TANLY TALKING HEAD
PRINCIPAL TANLY
Well, yes bullying is a big
issue. I’ve actually invited a lot
of the kids who are bullied to join
my book club. Now days we’ve been
focusing on books where the
characters are in a similar
situation. This week we were
reading Animal Farm.
INSERT: Footage of Sean, a nerd, dressed in a horse costume,
approaching a bully in the cafeteria.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.
SEAN
I will no longer be oppressed
Sean slams a windmill made out of Popsicle sticks over the
bully’s head.
PRINCIPAL TANLY TALKING HEAD-- CONT’D
PRINCIPAL TANLY
And now, the new head of student
council, Mr Bartram, has a few
words for you.
Hugh walks onto the stage from the wings
HUGH
Ah, well helloooooo Jansonam!
His failed attempt at “Hello Vietnam” leaves the crowd in
silence
HUGH
Okay... Well as Principal Tanly
said, I’m Mr.Bartram, most of you
probably know me by my first name,
Hugh. I teach Histo-
Some students in the audience begin to mock Hugh by fake
crying
MARVIN
Hey, cut it out
HUGH
Anyways, today I stand before you
as the head of student council.
Please give a warm welcome to your
Class President, and your council.
The rest of the council walks on stage from the wings as
Hugh and Marvin exit from the other side. Matthew approaches
the microphone.
MATTHEW
Helllooooo Vietna-
From the wings, Hugh puts his head in his hands as MARVIN
signals him to stop
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.
MATTHEW
I mean....Um....So how are you
doing today Janson Collegiate
Institute? Funny story, when I
first moved here, I thought the
name of the school sounded like a
prison. Am I right?
Silence from the crowd
MATTHEW
My name is Matthew and I am your
new class president.
Matthew pauses for applause, but there is none. There are
only a couple of scattered murmurs of ’Who is this guy?"
MATTHEW
I would like to introduce the rest
of your student council now,
Brianne as Treasurer, Min as
Secretary, Jose as Junior Rep,
Jeremy as Sports Rep, and Layna as
Eco Rep.
There is a large group of students who are related to Jose
who start hooting and catcalling.
MATTHEW
So now I would like to introduce
the executive division of the
council. The executives are the
most important people on the
council, even more important than
me. This remarkable group of people
have promised to take student
council to the next level and are
extremely happy and grateful to be
apart of this. If I could have
Tracy your Executive V.P, Margo,
your Executive Club Rep, and Dylan,
your Executive Senior Rep, come on
stage. Don’t be shy. Hey guys c’mon
let’s give them a round of
applause.
MATTHEW & HUGH TALKING HEAD
MATTHEW
As the saying goes, "Flattery will
get you anywhere"
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.
HUGH
Actually, the saying is, "Flattery
will get you nowhere"
MATTHEW
Where did you get that tie? It
looks great.
HUGH
Oh, this. I got it on sale at
Nordstrom Rack.
Matthew gives the camera a knowing smile
INT. GYM 1 -- DAY 2
TRACY
Well, I would just like to say how
honored I am to be here tod-
Margo shoves her away from the microphone
MARGO
Go Bull Slugs!
BRIANNE TALKING TO HEAD
BRIANNE
What the hell is a bull slug?
INT.STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM -- DAY 2
The council, excluding Hugh and Marvin, are sitting around
the table. Min is in the corner with a typing on a
typewriter.
MATTHEW
Okay! So this is our first student
council meeting! First on the
agenda-
Dylan raises his hand.
DYLAN
I have a question
MATTHEW
Yes
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.
DYLAN
Why is this table round?
MATTHEW
Because it is, okay? Now let’s move
on-
MARGO
No, no wait. I think we should get
down to the bottom of this whole
"Round Table business".
JEREMY
This isn’t even a round table.
DYLAN
I’m sorry, do you see an edge
anywhere?
JEREMY
Just because it has no edges,
doesn’t mean it’s round.
BRIANNE
Oh my God..
MATTHEW
This is a round table okay. Can we
move on.
Jeremy sits up in his chair
JEREMY
Are you guys blind? Or just stupid?
It’s important that I know
Jose begins laughing hysterically and Min is typing
furiously as their voices rise and go over each other.
ENTER Hugh and Marvin with NAINA
HUGH
(to Naina)
So here is the coun-
Hugh sees what is going on
HUGH
-cil
Hugh gives Marvin a look, who then blows a bull horn
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.
HUGH
Attention students. We have a new
addition to the council. Please
welcome Naina Kumar.
There is a line of groans across the room. Matthew stands
there wide eyed as Naina winks at him.
TRACY
Sorry but we don’t have any
positions left. In fact I think we
have one too many members.
Tracy eyes Matthew when she says this.
HUGH
That is why Naina will be an
advisor
Margo rolls her eyes.
MATTHEW TALKING HEAD
MARGO
So this is what happened. Naina
went to her superintendent daddy
and got him to force Principal
Tanly to force Hugh into giving her
a fake position so that she can be
the creep that she is and stalk
Matthew.
NAINA TALKING TO HEAD
NAINA
Is it that obvious?
INT. STUDENT COUNCIL DESK AREA -- DAY 2
Everyone is settling into their desks.
LAYNA
I’m totally gonna set up a hammock
in here.
Margo rolls her eyes at camera
NAINA
So! Did you miss me over the
summer? I know I definitely missed
you.
14.
Matthew squirms away from Naina
MATTHEW TALKING HEAD
MATTHEW
In the third grade I was made
Naina’s hallway buddy-- So
according to her that means we’re
soulmates. I can’t tell her I don’t
feel the same way because she
has... anger issues. In the fourth
grade, Sean told her he wanted to
build his snowfort without her so
she cornered him after school, beat
him senseless with snowballs,and
got her brother to destroy his new
fort. Fourth grade.
INT. STUDENT COUNCIL DESK AREA -- DAY 2
Naina is adding her stuff to her desk. She has a picture of
Matthew and her. Matthew eyes the camera.
INT. CAFETERIA -- DAY 2
Margo is going to sit at her lunch table with Janine and
Sarah and her boyfriend, Justin. Margo kisses him as she
sits down.
MARGO
Hey
JUSTIN
Hey babe, where were you?
MARGO
Oh, I had some stuff to do. What
are we talking about?
JANINE
We are going to the mall later to
go dress shopping. You didn’t
forget did you?
MARGO
Oh yeah, I’m sorry guys I can’t go
SARAH
Why not?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.
MARGO
We have a mandatory student council
meeting
JANINE
You’re seriously gonna stay in that
club
MARGO
Well yeah, with that whole stunt at
the assembly, I can’t really say no
JUSTIN
Margo, half of the members look
like they’re on the verge of
deportation
JANINE
I can’t believe you’re blowing us
off for them. We’re are your best
friends
MARGO
I know. Okay I’ll try to leave
early and catch up with you guys at
the mall
JANINE
Don’t bother. Since you won’t be
there we can finally shop at Saks
instead of the Rack
Janine and Sarah get up and leave the table
Justin and Janine eye each other
JUSTIN
Hey babe, I gotta go too
MARGO
Where?
JUSTIN
Oh, umm, I needed to talk to coach
about positions See you later
Margo leans in for a kiss but Justin leaves her hanging
16.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY -- DAY 2
Dylan is walking down the hallway. He is then attacked by
three boys in all black.
DYLAN
Aw! C’mon guys!
They throw him in a corner
MARCUS
Dylan Scherbatsky, we hereby disown
you from the dudehood
DYLAN
You can’t do this! I stated this
frickin club!
They drag him inside a bathroom. The camera views as the
door slowly closes.
MARCUS
You have chosen the side of the
turds. Now you will be one of them,
inside and out
DYLAN
No!
INT. STUDENT COUNCIL DESK AREA -- DAY 2
Matthew walks up to Tracy who is organizing her desk.
MATTHEW
Hey, I brought you a peace offering
TRACY
A muffin basket?
MATTHEW
Yup. I know how much you love
muffins
TRACY
Muffin are made of flour and flour
is made of wheat and our wheat
comes from Canada. These muffins
are disgusting.
MATTHEW
Hey but I bet the basket was made
in China
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.
(BEAT)
MATTHEW
Anyways, I’m sorry that you didn’t
get the position of President.
TRACY
Do I sense pity on your tone?
MATTHEW
No not pity, more like sincerity.
(BEAT)
TRACY
As your Executive V.P, I reserve
the right to finalize all your
decisions. Don’t question the
rules, I didn’t make them
MATTHEW
Are you sure?
TRACY
Oh and get this muffin basket away
from me. I can smell the gluten
like I can smell the capitalism.
MATTHEW
Why do I feel like it’s the basket?
Tracy glares at Matthew
MATTHEW
Leaving
Matthew leaves the room. Tracy fails to fight a smile
REVEAL: The camera is watching over NAINA’s shoulder from
behind a wall
Naina turns to face the camera. She is furious.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY -- DAY 2
Tracy is closing her locker to REVEAL KAYLEE BEN, standing
behind
TRACY
How long have you been there?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.
KAYLEE BEN
(In Mandarin)
Long enough
TRACY
Well, what’s up?
KAYLEE BEN
(In Mandarin)
Wow, you’ve even forgotten the
mother tongue
TRACY
No I haven-
(In Mandarin)
No I haven’t
KAYLEE BEN
(In Mandarin)
Listen you little white washed wench, you have brought shame
to us all.
TRACY
(In Mandarin)
Look, if this is about Matthew
being President-
KAYLEE BEN
(In Mandarin)
It’s not about Matthew being
anything. We were informed of your
grade on your most recent Spanish
test.
TRACY
I can explain!
KAYLEE BEN
You Asian failed! There is nothing
you can say. As the President of
the S.A.O.C , you are kicked out.
Kaylee Ben storms off
TRACY TALKING HEAD
TRACY
The S.A.O.C supposedly stands for
Student Apprentices Of California,
what it really stands for is, Smart
Asians Only Club -- And I’ve just
been kicked out
19.
INT. ART ROOM -- DAY 2
Layna, Brianne and Jeremy are each painting on their
canvases. Ms Heranda makes her rounds.
BRIANNE
(to Layna)
What is that supposed to be?
JEREMY
It looks like a bird with green
blood went through a blender
LAYNA
It’s an umbrella, sheltering a
woman from the tears of loneliness
BRIANNE
(mutters)
More like horror
Ms. Hernada makes her way over to them
MS HERNADA
Oh, Layna, it’s beautiful. Can I
guess? It’s a woman, sheltering
herself from the tears of
lonliness?
Layna nods and glances at Brianne and Jeremy.
Ms. Hernanda looks at Brianne and Jeremy’s painting.
MS HERNADA
Needs work
Jeremy glances at the camera
LAYNA
Guys, isn’t that Margo’s boyfriend?
They look through the classroom door into the hallway. There
is Justin flirting with Janine
BRIANNE
It looks like he is flirting with
Janine
LAYNA
He wouldn’t do that. They’re just
friends
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 20.
JEREMY
Would just friends be making out?
They look back over to see Justin and Janine kissing in the
hallway. Layna has a horrified look on her face and Brianne
is stifling a laugh.
INT.STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM -- DAY 1
LAYNA
So what, we just don’t tell her
JEREMY
Absolutely not.
LAYNA
Why not?
BRIANNE
Margo will flip out
JEREMY
Yeah, and she’s the type to
literally shoot the messenger
LAYNA
I feel obligated to tell her
Hugh and Marvin appear at the door of his office
HUGH
Tell who what
JEREMY
Nothing
LAYNA
No one
BRIANNE
Hey, Hugh! Have you lost weight
since I last saw you, 5 hours ago?
HUGH
I actually I did-- I lost 3 pounds
Brianne glances at the camera
Marvin whispers into Hugh’s ear
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 21.
MARVIN
(audible whisper)
They are trying to distract you
(To Jeremy, Brianne and Layna)
What’s the secret punks?
Matthew enters the room
MATTHEW
What’s going on?
HUGH
They, have a secret
MATTHEW
C’mon guys we’re all friends here
LAYNA
I met you for the first time
yesterday
MATTHEW
We’ve all met each other here. We
can keep a secret.
HUGH
Yes, yes we can. However, if I find
it within my judgment that this
secret may harm you or someone
else, I’m obligated to call your
parents and notify the principal.
Otherwise, your secret is safe with
me.
JEREMY
Sorry guys! We can’t.
BRIANNE
We really can’t
MARGO
Hey, what are you guys doing?
LAYNA
Justin is cheating on you with
Janine!
Margo’s facial expression changes from shocked to pure fury
in seconds.
Dylan enters
He is wearing khaki shorts and a magenta tank top. His hair
is neon pink.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 22.
Matthew stifles a laugh
HUGH
What the hell happened to you?
TAG
Tracy closes her locker door to REVEAL Naina standing behind
it.
TRACY
Is this a thing now?
NAINA
Listen here Huan Ju -- That’s
right, I know your real name isn’t
Tracy.
TRACY
Wh-
NAINA
Shut up. I saw you flirting with
Matthew earlier. Getting kicked out
if the S.A.O.C was just a warning.
TRACY
You did that?
NAINA
Stay away from my man or else.