Table of ContentsWickedAsukal Ka, Ako Ay SagoDeat Threast for BreakfastOut-of-Notebook ExperienceThe Worst Thing About BeingMarriedMiriam on Miriam

© Copyright 2014 by Miriam Defensor Santiagoand ABS-CBN Publishing, Inc.

First Printing, December 2014Second Printing, December 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproducedin any formor any electronic means, including information storage orretrievalsystems without permission in writing from the authorizedrepresentativeof the publisher except brief passages in books, articles,reviews, legalpapers, and judicial or other official proceedings with propercitation.

Any copy of this book without the corresponding numberand the authorized signature of the author on this page eitherproceeds from an illegitimate source or is in possession ofone who has no authority to dispose of the same.

Author Miriam Defensor Santiago

Publisher Alexie Renz M. CruzResearch Assistants Marie Angelica Thelmo,

Jeanie Rose Bacong and Peter Tom TolibasEditorial Assistant Arlyn Rosales

Art Director Noel AvendahoCover Illustration Cj de Silva-Ong

President Ernesto L. LopezManaging Director Mark J. YambotContent Director Christina N. LopezHead, Special Projects Kristine V. Hernandez

Pre-Press Production Manager Andy LizardoDigital Imaging Supervisor Gil CargasonDigital Artist Seb CacholaProduction Coordinator Jouie DocaPurchasing Officer Arnel C. Bon

Head, Narrowcast and DTT Channels Antonio S. VentosaSr. Finance Officcr-Narrowcast Myca G. Ramos

ISBN 978-971-816-127-2

ABS-CBN

PUBLISHING INC.

PUBLISHED BYABS-CBN PUBLISHING, INC.

8F ELJCC BuildingMother Ignacia St., cor.

Eugenio Lopez Drive,

Quezon City, Philippines

Books by the Author:Some 19 books in law and social sciences

Inventing Myself (an Autobiography)

Cutting Edge, The Politics of Reform (anAutobiography)At the Turn of the CenturyWhere Angels Fear to TreadChristianity Versus CorruptionA Frabjous Day and Other StoriesThe Miriam Dictionary

National Library of the Philippines CIP Data

Recommended entry:

Santiago, Miriam Defensor.

Stupid is Forever / Miriam Defensor Santiago.-- (Place of publication not identified) : ABS-CBNPublishing, Inc., [c20I4l

p.I32 ; 17.18 cm

ISBN 978-971-816-127-8

I. Santiago, Miriam Defensor -- Humor.2. Filipino wit and humor. 3. English wit and humor-- Philippines. 4- Speeches, lectures, etc., Filipino --Women authors. I. Title

808.882 PN6222.P5 2014 P420140283

Dedicated to my sonsArchie and A.R.,

who traded bon mots with meeverydayat the dining table, until oneday I

floored them with thequestion:

"Why is there somethinginstead ofnothing?” In disgust, theychorused:"That’s not funny!” andwalked out.

Foreword

Of course, I make no claim to originalityin this compilationof my epigrams. My supporters find them

funny, and myenemies presumably find them revolting.That’s becausethose villains are hardwired only forself-adulation.

Anyway, I imbibed the responses in thisvolume fromjoke books, epigrammatic collections,magazines, the nativeintelligence of Filipino humor, and theneed to survive thepomposity and superficiality ofpoliticians, who wouldn’trecognize sarcasm if it jumped up andbit them in thesupercilious nose.

This work, commissioned by mypublisher, serves as thesecond, enlarged edition of the well-received The MiriamDictionary, which was circulated duringthe 1992 presidentialcampaign. This work is premised on myfirm belief thatdespite what the bible implies, Goddefinitely has a sense ofhumor.

MIRIAM DEFENSOR SANTIAGOOctober2014

About The Author

Sense of humor is almost absent amongpoliticians, butSenator Miriam Defensor Santiago is atruly talentedexception. People are puzzled how shecan spontaneouslymake them laugh in the midst of nationalpolicy crises, and ofreal danger to her life as a corruptionfighter.

Contrast adds to the humor, becauseMiriam is a leadingAsian intellectual. She was electedjudge of the InternationalCriminal Court in December 2011, onlyto give it up becauseof cancer. Millions of her fans still

believe she won but wascheated of the presidency in 1992. Shelost one of only twobeloved children. But she never lost hersense of humor.

Humor pushed Miriam the senator tohelp uncover thebiggest corruption scandal in ourcountry’s political history.In dealing with the plunder of billions ofpublic funds, and instanding by the rule of law in a highlypoliticized impeachmentprocess, she scolded: "What the ....?”later shortened to"Wha’?”

Miriam will go down in history not onlyas a laureate of theMagsaysay Award for governmentservice, or as the candidatewho never conceded defeat in a fraud-marred presidentialelection, but as the soul who rises aboveit all by laughing athuman foibles.

Her complete resume can be found at theend of this book.

XII

CONTENTS

3

Wicked

35

Asukal Ka, Ako aySago

45

Death Threats forBreakfast!67

Out-of-NotebookExperience

93

The Worst Thing AboutBeing Married

107

Miriam on Miriam

2

4

His (Miriam’s enemy) memory is inblack and white.

He (Miriam’s enemy) was a waiter atthe Last Supper.

Politicians never get lost in thought,because it’s unfamiliar territory.

Brains aren’t everything. In the case ofCongress members, they’re nothing.

Corrupt politicians would be different, ifthey had enough oxygen at birth.

Most people live and learn. Politicians

just live.

In the Senate, sometimes I debate withpeople whodon’t let the facts get in the way of theiropinions,as in the case of the Reproductive HealthBill.

I want to work as a judge of theInternationalCriminal Court, because in Congress, themediocrity of some people isunparalleled.

He (Filipino politician) is just not user-friendly.

To politicians accused of plunder: As

an outsider,what do you think of the human race?

Of her enemy: Googling him yielded noresults.

Of her pet peeve: He is so ugly heshould donate his faceto the Parks and Wildlife Office inQuezon City.

: Voltaire, I believe that the ideal form ofgovernmentis democracy tempered withassassination.

I don’t mind dying for the Filipinoyouth and nation,

but I certainly don’t want to die forpoliticians.

I agree with Mencken that democracy isa pathetic beliefin the collective wisdom of individualignorance.

The speeches of young, ambitious,apparentlycorrupt politicians leave the impressionof an army ofpompous phrases moving over thepolitical landscapein search of an idea. Sometimes thesemeanderingwords would actually capture a

straggling thoughtand bear it triumphantly as a prisoner intheirmidst, until it died of servitude andoverwork.This is how I feel when I watch thesetalkative,pompous and empty young peopleanswer mediaquestions during a live TV interview.

On live TV interviews after a plenarysession,some Congress members look so blank,each oneof them looks like the guy in a sciencefictionmovie who is first to see the Creature.

sometimes I meet my enemy in theSenate loungeand would receive from him the sort ofgreetingsa corpse would give to an undertaker.

Many senators like to deliver speechesin theSenate — namely, privilege speeches,sponsorshipspeeches, speeches of commendation.They speakfor hundreds of minutes and the visitorsin thegallery are able to detect only oneargument.

Someone working in the presidential

staff inMalacañang loves to appear on TV,looking verymuch like a female llama surprised inher bath.

Celebrities who act as poster boys forstem cell treatmentare bound to lose the temporary youthfullook and theneach one becomes a triumph of theembalmer’s art.

On her Magsaysay Award forGovernment Service:Bureaucracy is a giant mechanismoperated bypygmies. Here are guidelines for

bureaucrats:When in charge, ponder.

When in trouble, delegate.

When in doubt, mumble.

Of the crime of plunder: Nothing ispoliticallyright which is morally wrong.

Of the social event known as State ofthe Nation Address:Some women wear too much makeupandsome women wear too little clothes.

A politician is a man who will doublecross

that bridge when he comes to it.

As Galbraith said, there are times inpoliticswhen you must be on the right side andlose.

Plato was so right: the price of apathytowardpublic affairs is to be ruled by evil men.

In a corrupt country, if you want tosucceed in politics,you must keep your conscience undercontrol.

The members of Congress are the peoplewhowill support the President when he is

wrong.

"You’re the reason God created themiddle finger."

A statesman is a politician who placeshimself at theservice of the nation. A politician is astatesman whoplaces the nation at his service. In thePhilippines,another name for politician is plundergenius.

There are no true friends in politics.Someonesaid that we are all sharks circling, andwaitingfor traces of blood to appear in thewater.

Of her political enemy always anglingfor a governmentjob: If left out he would be dangerous,but iftaken in, he would simply be destructive.

Of a wishy-washy politician: When indoubt on whatshould be done, his policy is to donothing.

There are politicians who, when theywere in power, wererubbish and arrogant. Now that thesepoliticians havest their jobs, there is nothing as abjectand patheticthey are. They remind me of a retired

stud horse.

According to Mencken, the whole aim ofpracticalpolitics is to keep the populace alarmed(and hence

clamorous to be led to safety) bymenacing it with anendless series of hobgoblins, all of themimaginary.

Ang pulitiko, para sumikat, ay tinatakotmuna ang taong-bayan na may malaking problema,kagaya ng kidnap forransom. Pagkatapos nagpapanggap nasiya lang ang maykakayahan na lumutas ng problema. Ang

totoo, siyapala ang may hawak ng mga kidnappers.Ang galing!

Some politicians get elected becausethey are well known.The other politicians are defeated for thesame reason.

In any Congress, out of IOO people, 2are honest andIntelligent, IO are criminals, and 88are good for nothing.

Is there a good politician? Is there anhonest burglar?

In any country, crooks make money by

underestimating the intelligence of themasses.

I sponsored and defended theReproductive HealthLaw, although I am a Catholic. In theCatholic church,a woman to avoid pregnancy is allowedto resort tomathematics. Thank God, now Catholicwomenare allowed to resort to physics andchemistry!

Of her political enemy: He has all thecharacteristicsof an ambitious politician: a horriblevoice,

bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

During any commencement exercise, Ialways knowthe graduate who will succeed. He is theperson whoknows nothing and thinks he haseverything. Thisgraduate will become a successfulpolitician.

There was a time when a circus did notconsist oftrained animal performers and acrobaticshows, butof freaks and monstrosities. One of themwas called"the boneless wonder.” They are now in

politics.

14

I’m so jealous that you finally foundyour true love.

Unfortunately, they haven’t legalizedself-marriage yet.

People are entitled to change theirminds. Butwhen politicians do so, they alwaysexplain itin terms of incomprehensible principles.

In Philippine politics, I know many menandwomen who are able to rise aboveprinciples.

When I listen to the defensive languageof thoseaccused of plunder, I marvel that theycan makelies sound truthful, plunder respectable,

andgive an appearance of solidity to purewind.

Then people say that politics is the art ofthe possible,they mean the art of speculation,calculation,intrigue, secret deals, and pragmaticmaneuvering.

Members of Congress are eager toparticipate and betelevised during public hearings, whichare more likepolice investigations conducted by ascatterbrainedinvestigator. The honorable men and

women ofCongress like to take things apart.Unfortunately,hey have no clue on how to put themback together.

16

Let me quote the epigram that thepurificationof politics is an iridescent dream.

Every time the President fills a vacantoffice, hemakes a hundred malcontents and oneingrate.

Democracy is a wonderful system. Itpermits

you to vote for a politician, and then towatchon TV as he is tried for plunder andgraft.

The people charged with plunder havea sickness called spendicitis.

Many politicians refuse to answer mediaquestions,on the ground that it might eliminatethem.

I try to give the politicians in the Senatefacts,and then they draw their own confusions.

The Napoles scandal showed that somepoliticians

are the same all over the country. Theypromiseto build bridges where there are norivers.

When you watch every politician answerquestionsfrom the media, you realize that apoliticianapproaches every subject with an openmouth.

I know a politician who is so windy thathe can givemouth-to-mouth resuscitation bytelephone.

The trouble with my enemies is that toomany of them

received an honorary degree from anelementary school

Politicians are fond of saying "we.” Theonlypeople entitled to use "we” aremonarchs,editorial writers, and pregnant women.

"Let’s switch places:you be funny andI’ll be an asshole. ”

In spite of its great accomplishments inmodern times,science has not yet discovered adequatecontrols fora number of national phenomena,including climatechange, storm surge, tsunamis, andpoliticians.

Darwin’s theory of evolution suggeststhat first came thebaboon, and then man. Politics provesthat Darwin iswrong, and that first came man, and then

the baboon.

A political candidate once said that hewouldrather be right than be president. But theConstitution provides that you can beboth.

As Theodore Roosevelt said, the mostpracticalkind of politics is the politics ofdecency.

Two political candidates were engagedin a heated debateCandidate I: What about the powerfulinterests that control you?

Candidate 2: You leave my wife out of

this!

I love this definition from AmbroseBierce. A politicianis an eel in the fundamental mud, uponwhich thesuperstructure of organized society isreared. Whenhe wriggles, he mistakes the agitation ofhis tail forthe trembling of the edifice. Ascompared with thestatesman, he suffers the disadvantage ofbeing alive.

To call a Filipino politician a mediocreman is unwanted flattery. Manypoliticians

are men of monumental littleness.

All professionals in our country need topass agovernment exam. Only a politician doesnotneed any kind of preparation to practice.

PSALM OF THE POLITICIAN

The politician is my shepherd, I’m inwant,

He makes me to lie down on parkbenchesHe leads me beside the still factories.

He disturbs my soul.

Yes, though I walk through the valley ofthe shadowof depression and recession,

I anticipate no recovery, for he is withme.

He prepares a reduction in my salary inthe presence

of my enemies,

He anointed my small income with greatlosses.

My expenses alarmingly run over.

Surely unemployment and poverty shallfollow me allthe days of my life

And I shall dwell in a mortgaged homeforever.

25

ASUKAL KA, AKO AY SAGO

Ang pag-ibig natin ay parang Facebook.Pwedeng i-like,pwede ring mag-comment, pero hindidapat i-share.

Ang crush parang math problem, kunghindi mo makuha, titigan mo na lang.

Pumupunta ka ba sa gym? Kasi feelingko, magwo-work out tayo.

Ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo ay parangbilbil,pilit ko mang tinatago pero halata pa rin!

Hindi ako mataba. Hindi lang ako

madaling ma-kidnap.

Kung isa akong joke, gusto ko ’yungmapipikonka, para naman seryosohin mo ako.

Wow, saan gawa ang t-shirt mo? Gawaba ’yan sa boyfriend material?

Ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo ay parang relo.Parating pakanan, never kakaliwa.

Ang ganda mo ay parang PLDT—pang-long distance.

Kung magkaroon man ako ng third eye,ilalagay ko itosa puso ko. Para hindi na ako mabulag sapag-ibig.

Alam niyo ba kung kailan nauso angpick-uplines? Noong pumasok ako sa UPCollege of Law,naglabasan na ang mga pick-up lines.Noong mgapanahon ding iyon nakita ako ng mgalalaking maygirlfriend na, kaya nauso rin angBREAK-UP.

Kapag namatay na ako, huwag na huwagkang pupuntasa libingan ko, baka tumibok ulit angpuso ko.

Miss, kutsara ka ba? Kasi papalapit kapa lang, napapanganga na ako.

Kung asukal ka, ako naman ay sago.

Wala akong kwenta kung wala angtamis mo.

Suicide. Homicide. Insecticide. Lahatna lang pamatay. Pero kung gusto mo ngpampabuhay, i-try mo ang "by my side.”

Malabo na talaga ang mga mata ko.Pwede ba akonghumingi sa iyo ng kahit kontingpagtingin?

Laway ka ba? Kasi kahit tulog na ako,ikawpa rin ang lumalabas sa bibig ko.

Ang lampa mo naman! Tatawid ka na ngalang

sa isip ko, nahulog ka pa sa puso ko.

Sabi nila, "A picture is worth a thousandwords.”Pero nang nakita ko ang picture mo,tatlongwords lang ang naisip ko: "'I love you.”

Password ka ba? Hindi kasi kita kayangkalimutan, pero kaya kitang palitan.

ASUKAL KA, AKO AY SAGO

Tinanong minsan ni Boy si Girl:BOY: Anong tunog ng aso?GIRL: Aww aww.

BOY: Eh ang pusa?

GIRL: Eh di meow meow.

BOY: Eh ang puso ko?GIRL: Ano?

BOY: Ikaw ikaw.

Hindi naman tayo naglalaro ng tagu-taguanpero bakit hinahanap-hanap kita?

Mag-exchange gift tayo? Akin ka at saiyo naman ako.

Pwede ba kitang sabayan pauwi? Kasisabi sa akinng magulang ko, "Follow your dreams. ”

Test paper ka ba? Nauubos na kasi orasko kakatitigsa’yo, ayan tuloy babagsak na yata akosa’yo!

31

Dilim ka ba? Kasi nang dumating ka,wala na akong makitang iba.

Alam mo ba, ang bigas, gasolina,pamasahe,tuition fee, isda, karne, lahat silanagmamahalan?Tayo na lang kaya ang hindi!

Pangalan mo palang kinikilig na ako,paanokaya kung magka-apelyido na tayo?

Ok lang akong mahilo, basta sa iyolang iikot ang mundo ko.

Dalawang beses lang naman kita gustongmakasama: now and forever.

Dahil isa akong judge, pwede kitanghatulan nghabang buhay na pagkakakulong sa pusoko.

Kung ang mga bagay aymakapagsasalita:

"You never know what you have untilyou lose it, andonce you lose it, you can never get itback.” — Snatcher

"Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka.Mahirap batalagang makuntento sa isa? Bakitpalipat-lipat ka?” — TV

"Kapag nagmamahal ako lagi na langmaraming tao angnagagalit! Wala ba akong karapatangmagmahal?!” — Gasolina

"Pinapaikot mo lang ako. Nagsasawa naako. Mabutipang patayin mo na lang ako.” —Electricfan

"Hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin C.”-Kili-kili

"Hindi lahat ng bumabakat sa damit aynakakaakit.” —Bilbil

Can you recommend a good bank? KasiI’mplanning to save all my love for you.

ASUKAL KA, AKO AY SAGO

Hirit ng mag-boyfriend:

Boy: Para kang pangalan ko.

Girl: Bakit naman?

Boy: Pag nawala ka, sino ako?

Girl: Saan tayo magde-date saValentines Day?Boy: Sa sementeryo?

Boy: Bakit dun?

Boy: Para mapatunayan kong patay napatay ako sayo.At pumunta nga sina Boy and Girl sasementeryo para mag-ghost hunting.Habangnaglalakad sila sa pinakamadilim nabahagi ngsementeryo, biglang napasigaw si Boy.

BOY: Naku! Hala! Naramdaman mo ba’yun?!GIRL: Alin?!

BOY: Na mahal kita.

Pedicab ka ba?

PEDICABang i-date sa Valentines Day?

Ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo ay parangLANGKA.LANGKAtupasan.

Kili-kili ka ba?Malapit ka kasi sa puso ko.

Ang love ay parang bayad sa jeep.Minsan hindi nasusuklian.

Ang sabi nila "An apple a day keeps thedoctor away.”Kung guwapo o maganda ang doctor,ayoko na ng apple

Pwede bang magpa-blood test? Paramalaman mo na type kita.

Gusto kitang kasuhan ng trespassing.Basta-basta ka na lang pumapasok sa puso ko.

Empleyado ka ba? Empleyado rin ako.Pwede tayong magkaroon ng union.

36

Ang relasyon ay parang gubat.Madalas may ahas.

38

WEAPONIZING SOCIAL MEDIA

The campaign period has begun. Allkinds ofcharacters want to run for public office.We, the 52million Filipino voters, are bored withtheir antics.We are aghast at their resumes. Some ofthem arenot even high school graduates. Theyresort toall kinds of cheap gimmickry, hoping toprovideentertainment for free. They should notbe calledcandidates; they should be calledclowns.

In the Philippines, politics is dominated

bytwo kinds of clowns: rich clowns; andpoor clownshoping to become rich. Fortunately, weare atthe cusp of a new ominous wave ofchange in thepolitical beach. This wave is called thesocial media.In the Philippines, nobody knows how tocontrolor manage social media. Rich clownsused to bribepress and broadcast journalists so thatthey couldgain added illegal advantage over theircompetitors.

But now, the rich clowns are beginningto discoverthat it is not possible to bribe theleaders, much less,all the netizens in cyberspace.

If the first Edsa revolution was a "Xeroxrevolution”, and if Edsa 2 was a "textrevolution”,then the next revolution against politicalcorruptionshould be called the "Net revolution”.

The ideal UP student always gives theworld ashock. I ask each one of you to give themindlesspolitical candidates a shock, by

demoting TV, which

4 o

used to be the king of politicaladvertising, andinstead elevating as political campaignweapons thetablet and the smart phone.

In terms of social network use, thePhilippinesis ranked among the top countries. Thiscould bethe precursor of the participatorydemocracy ofthe future. Facebook is the premiersocial mediaservice in the world. Twitter is an online

socialnetworking and micro-blogging service.YouTubeprovides a forum for the distribution ofvideocontent, particularly eyewitness featuresof politicalprotests. Facebook, Twitter, andYouTube are theso-called big three social mediaservices. Theseservices enable large numbers of peopleto be easilyand inexpensively contacted via avariety of services.

Social media lowers traditional socio-economic

barriers to commanding the spotlight.The powerof the rich politicians becomes moreporous and thepolitical warlords have less control. Ithas been saidthat text messaging, Facebook, Twitter,YouTube,and the Internet have given rise to areservoir ofpolitical energy. Digital technologiesenforce theformation and activities of civil societygroups:mobs, movements, and civil societyorganizations.

CHALLENGE TO UP STUDENTS

The ideal UP student is not interestingper se. Whatis interesting is what the ideal studentdoes with his

life after graduation from UP. As a rule,any UPgraduate will always be characterizedby academicexcellence and by the courage to takesocial justice tothe next level. If you are to serve yournation, I amhere to testify that it will be a rough,contentious,and spirit-crushing journey.

But as a true UP graduate, I insist that I

have a roleto perform. This role is to stand as oneof gazillionbricks in the cathedral of governance.No one willremember me if I suddenly drop deadtomorrow.But generations after you and me, wouldbe ableto put behind them the culture ofcorruption, andbuild a new shining nation with leaderswho areneither dazzled by the material world,nor confusedabout their purpose in life.

Hence, I have risen from my sickbed to

issue youthis challenge: For God’s sake, save thiscountry.Use social media during this three-monthcampaignperiod to ensure that our people shall beled tochoose deserving national leaders.Allow me tomake some recommendations on how toweaponizesocial media against the corrupt, theclueless, andthe clowns. I am paraphrasing from anarticle inthe Net issued by Craft Media Digitaland written by

Brian Donahue.

Weaponize social media during thecampaign byproviding content that not only informs,but alsoentertains and motivates. You need todevelop skillsin creative design, emotionally rivetingvisuals, andcontent that inspires action. We can notweaponizeby simply issuing a statement, anewsletter, or aFacebook post. We need to enlist thework of moregraphic designers, creative writers,videographers,

and musicians.

Weaponize social media during thecampaignby embracing targeted messagingstrategies. Youcannot rely on single-issue nationalmessaging. Youhave to send custom messages tospecific audiencesonline. It is said that in today’s digitalage, data isthe most precious commodity. Hook upwith mathstudents in the Diliman campus. Ask ourmathscholars to build algorithms for matchingdata. This

will develop demographic models thatwill help youto identify valuable voter behavior. Forexample,refer to Facebook OpenGraph.

Weaponize social media during thepoliticalcampaign by delivering content soengaging thatindividual netizens will be motivated toshare it. Isee in the current campaign that the mostegregiouserror of the candidates is that they treatsocial mediaas if it were TV or radio, where theysimply transfer

information to the masses. The strengthof the webis information sharing among socialnetizens.

Weaponize social media in the politicalcampaignby accepting that the future of politicalwarfarewill take place online. For example, acomparativedatabase that provides information oneachcandidate’s age, residence, highestacademic degree,and highest professional achievement,would be asufficient counterbalance to the tendency

of the lowmiddle-class voter to sell his vote or tovote for thecute personality.

Social media should be used as ashowcase forintangible movement or energy, and amediumof information to motivate people to votefor oragainst a particular candidate.

Conclusion

I share one unbreakable linkage withyou. At onetime I was your age and like all UPstudents, I wanted

to change the world. Maybe I have. Butthe worldalso changed me. Now I am old enoughto haveseen the world and have all my illusionsshattered.Am I disillusioned? No, because as thepoet said:Though much is taken, much abides;and though

We are not now that strength which inold daysMoved earth and heaven, that which weare,we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strongin willTo strive, to seek, to find, and not toyield.

Barring public demand, any person whopursuesthe presidency out of personal ambitionmustbe suffering from a basic genetic defect.

(In a 1989 magazine interview.)

I do not subscribe to the school ofthought that I amleading the presidential polls because ofmy beautiful leg

(After topping most presidentialsurveys in 1990.)

First you say that I have a brilliantresume and an

impressive track record. But then youpropose thatI should not run for president, but onlyfor vice-president. Clearly, your conclusion doesnot followyour own premise. And you justify thisillogicby claiming that I would be cheated bymy rivalsas a presidential candidate, so I shouldsettle forbecoming a vice-presidential candidateinstead.Sir, if the rest of humankind had adoptedyourline of thinking, we would never have

reached themoon, scaled Mt. Everest, or learned tofly. Forin all these daring enterprises, peoplewho shouldhave known better said it could not bedone.When I went to the Commission onImmigrationand Deportation to fight graft andcorruption, thecynics also said it could not be done.But a person’sreach must exceed her grasp, or what’sheaven for?

Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mt.Everest? Because it is there. Why am I

fightinggraft and corruption? Because it is here!That’s why I’m running for president,and for no other post.

(During an open forum hosted by theAssociation of InternationalCollege Women, who gave her astanding ovation.)

Sir, I remind you that as theCommissioner ofImmigration and Deportation, I representthemajesty of the Republic of thePhilippines. Youhave the obligation to show respect andcourtesy to

me. Now shut up, or I’ll knock your teethoff!(To an alien criminal suspect whoraised his voice tointerrupt her during a pressconference.)

The fixer is a person who nominallylooks like ahuman being. But he specializes increating misery forothers, in order that he can offer to fix itfor a fee.(Explaining to the press why shebanned fixers at Commission onImmigration and Deportation andordered their mass arrest.)

Ano ang pinagkapareho ng sperm at ngmga pulitiko ?Pareho silang may one in a millionchance na maging totoong tao.

The cabinet is afflicted with a dreadeddisease. Itis known as logorrhea, or incoherenttalking.(After then President Corazon Aquinoannounced a programof measures to improve cabinetperformance and cut costs,most of which had been proposedearlier by Miriam.)

Congress and the cabinet are talking atcross¬purposes. We are trapped in a politicalTowerof Babel. Our national leaders areaccursed byglossolalia, or talking in different

tongues.(When the Senate first began to opposeher alien legalizationprogram when she was ImmigrationCommissioner.)

I shall expect the landlords to cooperatewith theagrarian reform program. Right now, itlooks likeI’m headed for One Hundred Years ofSolitude.(Upon President Aquino’sannouncement of her appointmentas Secretary of Agrarian Reform, usingthe title of a boohfry Nobel prizewinner Gabriel GarciaMarquez.)

Some of them are devotees to a cult ofself-praise. I refused to join that hallelujahchorus!

(To a newsman’s question of why someof her cabinet colleagues accusedher of aloofness when she wasSecretary of Agrarian Reform.)

I feel like Indiana Jones in the Temple ofDoom.

(Entering Congress for her firstconfirmationhearing as Secretary of AgrarianReform.)

I was accused of almost every crime

under the Penal Code,except adultery. At malapit na rin kamingdumating doon.(Explaining why confirmationshearings could be oppressive.)

Head-bashing is the best strategy.Sometimes Ihave to splatter their brains on thepavement.(On the best way to fight graft.)

When the government employee is poorand he works in acorrupt agency, he can resist everythingexcept temptation.(At a student convocation at theUniversity of the Philippines.)

I don’t mind if a senator does not knowmuch aboutlegislative work, what I mind is whenthey pretend theydo! They reduce legislation to the levelof the ludicrous.

Holdaper: Holdap ito! Akin na ang peramo!

Lalaki: Hindi mo ba ako nakikilala?

Isa akong congressman!

Holdaper: Kung ganoon, akin na angpera namin!

My public life closely resembles thepopular science-fiction trilogy on

screen, consisting of the moviesentitled "Star Wars,” followed by "TheEmpire StrikesBack,” and ending with "The Return ofthe Jedi.”

In seeking to change the culture ofcorruption, I have to fight willy-nilly thesuperstars of the political underworld inthis country. Although I am a definiteunderdog, I am not afraid of thosecorrupt superstars. Thus, the first chapterof my life should be entitled "StarWars.” Because I was able toconscienticize the public aboutcorrupt politics, my enemies sought toavenge themselves!They refused to confirm me in the

Commissionon Appointments, until I was removedfrom theCabinet. My enemies posted that evilvictory, butuntil now they do not stop. When Istarted leading the presidential surveys,they paid for a diabolic mediablitz against me. Thus, the secondchapter of my life should be entitled"The Empire Strikes Back."

But we have not seen the end of thistrilogy. For life, Ilike theology, consists of the unceasingbattle between good and evil. In themovie trilogy, the forces ofgood were called Jedi, while the forces

of evil were

DEATH THREATS FOR BREAKFAST!

I eat death threats for breakfast!

called the Empire. I have no doubt that,in the end,the forces of evil in Philippine politicswill triumph.Thus, I promise you, the third chapter ofour lifetogether shall be entitled "The Return ofthe Jedi. ”

(From a speech at the St. LouisUniversity gymnasium in BaguioCity, where over 5,000 students gaveher a standing ovation,presaging her phenomenally popular

campus tour of the country,and prompting media to call her "thenew campus heroine.")

The only thing we are not importing isour politiciansbecause that is what we have inabundance.

A person suffering from lung cancer isprone to bleeding. I used to have highpaintolerance, that’s why I’m in politics.

How to tell if a politician is telling thetruth:Whenever he’s crossing his arms, hemight be telling the truth.Whenever he’s stroking his chin, he

might be telling the truth.Whenever he looks at you straight in theeye, he might be telling the truth.

But when he opens his mouth, he islying.

Corrupt politician, nagyayabang: Akoang tumulongsa mga businessmen na magingmilyonaryo!Miriam: Bakit, ano ba sila dati?

Corrupt politician: Bilyonaryo.

I have realized why corrupt politiciansdo nothingto improve the quality of public schooleducation.

They are terrified of educated voters.

Ang sabi ng gobyerno: Don’t lie. Don’tcheat.Don’t steal. Don’t sell drugs. Don’t kill.Alam ninyo kung bakit? Ayaw nggobyerno ng competition.

Hindi ba, ang mga gadget kapag nagloko,namamatay? Dapat ganyan din ang mgapulitikong manloloko, namamatay din!

Question: Ano ang resulta ng IQ examng mga kurakot na pulitiko?Answer: Negative.

What is the difference betweencorruption in theU.S. and corruption in the Philippines?

Answer: In the U.S. they go to jail. In thePhilippines, they go to the U.S.

Corrupt official: Miriam, kapag nataposang term ko, iiyak ka ba?

Miriam : Oo naman. Mapipigilan ko baang tears of joy?

Pulitiko ka ba? Ang ganda kasi ng mgamata mo. Corrupt nang corrupt.

May mga kandidatong guilty ngtrespassing.Kumbaga sa college grades, ang nakuhalang nila ay "tres” na passing grade.

MGA ONLINE ACTIVITIES NA DAPAT

ITURING NACYBERCRIME:Wrong grammar.

Premature campaigning ng mga epalpoliticians.Photo albums na panay mukha mo langanglaman. Hindi porke bago ang hair-domo,magpopost ka na ng IOO pictures ngsarili mo.

STUPID IS FOREVER

Pwede bang kasuhan ng cybercrime angkaaway mo tuwingmagpo-post siya ng bagong profilepicture? Nakaka-offend kasi. Ilegal dapat angpagmumukha niya.

Bakit naka-schedule sa tag-init angkampanya para sa eleksyon?

Dahil dito napapatunayan kung anongklaseng pulitiko ang nangangampanya.

Kung matunaw sila sa init, ibig sabihinplastic sila.Kung masunog sila sa araw, ibig sabihinmapapel sila.

Kung mahilig silang magbilad saaraw, malamang buwaya sila.

Nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na magtanongng tig-isang tanong kay God ang mgapresidente ng China, USA, at Pilipinas.Nauna ang presidente ng China. Angtanongniya: "God, kailan po mawawala sabansako ang kurapsyon at kahirapan?”Sumagot si God: "300 years, anak.”Umiyak ang presidente ng China: "Patayna ako bago mangyari iyon!”Sumunod ang presidente ng USA. Angtanong niya: "God, kailan po mawawalasabansa ko ang kurapsyon at kahirapan?”

Sumagot si God: "500 years, anak.”

58

Umiyak ang presidente ng USA: "Patayna ako bago mangyari iyon!”Sumunod ang presidente ng Pilipinas.Angtanong niya: "God, kailan po mawawalasabansa ko ang kurapsyon at kahirapan?”Umiyak si God. Sabi niya: "Patay tayodiyan.''

Kapag nagsinungaling ka sa congressmano sasenador, kakasuhan ka na ng perjury, mayjailterm ka pa. Pero kapag ang congressman

o senadornagsinungaling sa iyo, ginagawa langnila ang trabahonila, magkakaroon pa sila ng bagongterm.

Ano ang tawag kapag nagtapon ka ngbasura sa dagat?Sagot: Pollution.

Ano naman ang tawag kapag tinapon mosadagat ang mga pulitikong kurakot?

Sagot: Solution.

Kapag hindi nanalo ang ine-endorsokong kandidato,para itong kape na walang creamer at

asukal. Napakapait.

There was a study on the connectionbetweengovernment employees and the sport theyplay.Ang paboritong sport daw ng mga entry-levelna government employees ay basketball.

Kapag lower management position,paborito daw nila ay bowling.

Kapag upper management naman,paborito daw nila ay tennis.

Ang paborito daw na sport ng mga high-level government officials ay golf.

The study then made this conclusion:Kapag tumataasang posisyon mo sa gobyerno, lumiliitang iyong balls.

Top three na pinakasinungaling natrabaho sa Pilipinas:3. Beautician. Sasabihin nilang magandaangcustomer kahit hindi naman talaga.

2. Kundoktor ng jeep. Sasabihin nila nadalawa pa ang kasya kahit puno na.

I. Pulitiko.

Dahil puno na ng kasamaan ang mundo,pinuntahanng Diyos si Noah, na ngayon ay nakatira

sa Pilipinas.Inutos sa kanya ng Diyos: "Gumawa kaulit ng isang arko.ilagay mo dito ang dalawang pares ngbawat hayop sa

6 0I WAS WALKING ON THE BEACH WHEN I FOUNDAN OLD BOTTLE THAT HAD BEEN WASHED ASHORE.

mundo. Pagkatapos ng anim na buwan,uulan at babahang apatnapung araw at gugunawin ko ang

mundo.”Pagkalipas ng anim na buwan, binalikanng Diyossi Noah. Nakita niya na walang arko siNoah.

Sabi ni Noah, "Pasensya na, Lord. Hindiko ponatapos ang arko. Iba na po ang panahonngayon:Una, kailangan ko raw po ng buildingpermit.Sunod, nahirapan po akong makakuha ngkahoy na hindi galing sa illegal logging.

Mahal po ang kuryente panggawa ngarko, hindipo ako makakuha ng discount sa

Meralco.Nahirapan po akong makakuha ngenvironmental permitsa DENR dahil sa mga endangeredspecies na dadalhin ko.Ayaw po maniwala sa akin ng PAGASAna may dadating namalakas na ulan at baha dahil luma naang equipment nila.Pinapa-lifestyle check po ako ng BIR,dapat daw magbayad ako ng buwis.

Hindi rin po ako makakuha ng funding saCongress, hindi raw nila gusto yungNGO ko.Patawad po, Lord. Hindi ko po nataposang arko sa loob ng anim na buwan.”

Sumagot si Lord: "Hindi ko nagugunawin angmundo. Naunahan na ako ng gobyerno.”

There’s still a double standard.

The place where a woman sells herselfis calleda house of ill-repute or a brothel.

The place where a man sells himself iscalled the House of Representatives.

Ano ang pinagkaiba ng holdaper sapulitiko? Angholdaper magnanakaw muna bagotatakbo. Angpulitiko tatakbo muna bago magnanakaw.

One of these corrupt politicians went fora jobinterview and the recruitment managersaid: "We’relooking for someone who isresponsible.”"Well, I’m your man for the job!” repliedthepolitician. "In my last job whenevereverythingwent wrong, they always said I wasresponsible.”

Sabi ng isang survey, 25 percent ng mgapulitiko daw ayumiinom ng medication para sa kanilangmental illness.

Malaking problema ito. Ibig sabihin 75percent ay hindi umiinom ng gamot.

May isang pulitiko na lumapit sa isangpsychiatrist.Ang sabi niya: "Doc, tulungan mo poako. Tuwingnakakatanggap po ako ng pork barrel,hindi ko mapigilanang sarili ko na nakawin ito. Nagi-guiltypo ako atnade-depress nang malala at matagaldahil dito.”Ang sabi ng psychiatrist: "Sige,tutulungankitang magkaroon ng self-control parahindi ka na magnakaw sa taumbayan.”

Sumagot ang pulitiko: "Dok, huwag po!

Gusto kong tulungan ninyo ako parahindina ako ma-guilty at ma-depress.”

Isang araw ng Linggo, nagsimba angisang corruptpolitician. Sabi ng pari sa kanyangsermon, "Magbigayka sa simbahan ng ayon sa kabutihan ngiyong loob.”Nang narinig iyon ng pulitiko, nagdonatesiya ngIOO pesos. Nakita ito ng pari.Tinawag ng pari ang

I received a text message that said:Dear Miriam, Don’t vote for Joker.He is our enemy. Love, Batman andRobin

pulitiko. "Ano po iyon, Father?” tanongng pulitiko.Ang sabi ng pari, "ito ang sukli mo, 99pesos.”

What we are seeing is an epidemic ofpeople in highgovernment office who possess theepidermis ofpachyderms and intestinal fortitude ofanacondas.

(On recent corruption scandals ingovernment.)

May tatlong doktor, pinag-uusapan kunganongpasyente ang pinakamadaling operahan.

Sabi ng una: "Electricians! Everythinginside them is color-coded.”

Sabi ng pangalawang doktor:"Librarians! Everythinginside them is in alphabetical order.”

Sabi ng pangatlo: "Pulitiko angpinakamadali! Theyhave no brains, no guts, no hearts, and noballs.”

67

The purpose of a teacher is to teach,not teaching to flunk a class.

The paradigmatic teacher is one whoinspires you to read on your own.

Question: Anong sinabi ni Papaya nu’ngtumingin sa kanya si Pineapple?Answer: Oy ikaw, anong tinitingin,tingin,tingin, tingin, tingin, tingin mo diyan?

Good news: Wala ka nang pimples!

Bad news: Dahil wala nang space.

Question: Do you know what the word"floral” means?Answer: "Floral” is the opposite of"singular. ”

Question: What is the singular formof the word "binoculars”?Answer: Telescope.

Question: What is the plural form of icedtea?Answer: Bottomless iced tea.

Question: What is the plural form ofrice?Answer: Extra rice.

Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mo namaitim ang

kili-kili niya nang hindi siya magagalit?Ganito: Ano ba ang ginagamit mongdeodorant, Kiwi shoe polish?

Hindi lahat ng sweet ay loyal sa’yo.Tandaan, sweet nga ang candy, peronakabalot naman sa plastic.

Question: Paano mo sasabihin sa isangbabaena mataba siya na hindi siyamababastos?Answer: Excuse me miss, Mang Tomasba ang lotion m

Ang homework ay parang panliligaw. Sabahaydapat ginagawa, hindi sa paaralan.

Law school is quite easy. It’s like astroll in a park. Pero Jurassic Park.

Do you want a job where you get totravel a lotand have lots of money in your hands?Pwede kang konduktor ng bus.

Condolence nga pala...

Sa mga taong patay na patay sa akin.

Alam niyo ba kung bakit laging busyang magaganda at mga guwapo?Explain ko sa inyo mamaya. Busy pa akoe.

Pedro: Gusto kong maging nursepara makatulong sa kapwa.

Jose: Ako, gusto kong maging doktor,para makapanggamot ng kapwa.

Kiko: Ako mayor, para mapagsilbihanko ang kapwa ko.Maria: Gusto kong maging presidenteparamapaglingkuran ko ang aking kapwa.

Juan Tamad: Ako naman, gusto kongmaging kapwa.

Teacher: Class, anong gusto niyongmaging paglaki niyo?Juan: Gusto kong maging piloto.

Nena: Gusto kong maging teacher.

Maria: Gusto kong maging mabuting ina.

Pedro: Gusto kong gawing ina si Maria.

A true teacher does not terrorize ignorant

students, because a true teacher knowsthat it is his job to cure ignorance.

Alam niyo ba ang alamat ng baboy?Minsan sasobrang galit ko, sinuntok ko sa ilongang isangelepante. Hindi na lumaki ang mga anaknya. Sakanya nag-umpisa ang kauna-unahangbaboy.

Student: Ma’am, kamusta po ang gradesko?Professor : Aba, iha, kasing-ganda ngbuhok mo!Parang bagong rebond. Bagsak nabagksak!

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS FOR TEENAGESTUDENTS:

No one fails a class anymore; they’remerely "passing impaired.”

You don’t have detention; you’re justone of the "exit delayed.”

Your bedroom isn’t cluttered; it’sjust "passage restrictive.”

These days, a student isn’t lazy; he’s"energetically declined.”

Your locker isn’t overflowing with junk;

it’s just "closure prohibitive.”

Kids don’t get grounded anymore; they

merely hit "social speedbumps.”

Your homework isn’t missing; it’s justhavingan "out-of-notebook experience.”

You’re not sleeping in class; you’re"rationing consciousness.”

You’re not late; you just have a"rescheduled arrival time

Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mong

babae na mukhasiyang lalaki nang hindi siyamasasaktan ?Ganito: Uy ang kyut-lyut mo naman!Kamukhang-kamukha ka ng daddy mo!

WHAT NOT TO SAY AS A TEACHER:

Sa isang examination

Student: Ma’am, puwedeng gumamit ngliquid paper?Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabinang pad paper lang eh.

Pagkatapos ng examination

Teacher: Okay, time is up. One, two,three. Come your papers to me!

Pagkatapos ng klase

Teacher to students: Okay class, it’s timeto gohome. Form a line and pass out slowly.

WRONG WORD USAGES

Laity — Hometown ni Imelda Marcos anglaity.

Mention — Ang laki ng bahay nila, parangmention.

Punctuation — Sabi ng isang bata,

"Daddy, pasukan na next week.

Kailangan ko po ng punctuation.”

Tenacious — Before playing tennis I

have to put on my tenacious.

Curtain and Kitchen — Aray! Huwagmo kong curtain. Masa-kitchen.

Subukan natin ang talino ninyo. Use theword"ANYONE” in a sentence. Answer:"Nasaanna kayo? Bakit niyo ako ANYONE?”

I heard one of the questions in the lastbar examswent like this: Should Santa Claus beconsidered acriminal? The answer is yes. He is

liable for crimessuch as illegal surveillance, unfair laborpractices,animal abuse, and breaking and entering.

Law school is quite easy. It’s like astrollin a park. Pero Jurassic Park.

Ano ang sabi ng anak na caterpillar satatay caterpillar?'’Tay, bilhan mo ako ng sapatos!”

Sumagot ang tatay caterpillar:

"Sipain kita d’yan e!”

Paano mo sasabihin sa classmate mo nabungi-

bungi ang ngipin niya nang hindi siyamagagalit?Ganito: Wow, classmate, ang gandanaman ng ngipinmo! Para silang nag-eexam, one seatapart!

Boss: Why do you think we should hireyou?John: Kasi po bago pa lang po ako

kaya wala pa po akong sungay.

Boss: In English, please.

John: Ah, uhm, well you see I’m brandnew so I’m not yet horny.

Teacher: Use the word "beautiful” in a

sentence.

Student: "'My teacher is beautiful, isn’tshe?”

Teacher: Thank you, it’s veryflattering.

Now, translate it in Tagalog.

Student: "Ang guro ko ay maganda,maganda nga ba?’

Gardo: Pedro, nahirapan ka ba saquestions sa exam?

Pedro: Hindi naman!

Cardo: Ang galing mo naman!

Pedro: Nahirapan ako sa answers!

75

STUPID IS FOREVER

Teacher: Ano ang similarity nina JoseRizal,Andres Bonifacio, at Ninoy Aquino?

Student: Lahat sila, namatay ng holiday!

Madaling magkasakit ang mga sexy; angmga crushng bayan; ang ma-appeal at henyo; angkind,thoughtful, smart, sweet, and malakasang karisma.Bigla yatang sumama ng pakiramdam ko,ah.

Hindi lahat ng nananalo ay magagalingdahil may nandadaya.

Hindi lahat ng matalino ay mataas anggrades dahil may nangongopya.Hindi lahat ng artista ay sexy dahil dinaman ako artista, sexy lang talaga.

Gaano katalino ang estudyantengPilipino?Common sense pa lang nila, IQ na ngibang senator.

8o

Alam niyo ba ang alamat ng giraffe?Minsan sa sobranggalit ko, binigyan ko ng uppercut angisang kabayo. Sa

kanya nag-umpisa ang kauna-unahanggiraffe.

Ladies and gentlemen:

I am happy, despite my chronic fatiguesyndrome, tocome to this campus of the Lyceum of the

PhilippinesUniversity at Batangas City. I haveseveral reasonsfor defying my doctors in coming here:

In 2009, CHED gave to Lyceum thehighestaward for a university — the award ofautonomousstatus;

In 2012, the Philippine Association ofCollegesand Universities cited Lyceum for thehighestnumber of accredited programs in thisregion, andthe second highest in the entire country;

And most important of all — LyceumBatangasrivals Metro Manila universities interms ofpopulation — 9,000 students, who willbe voters inthe 2016 presidential and senatorialelections.

Hence, I have come in recognition of thefactthat some of you will become senatorslike my goodfriend and mentor, Dr. Sotero H. Laurel.Andat least one of you, I predict, likePresident JoseP. Laurel, will someday become

president of thePhilippines.

WHAT IS LEADERSHIP?

Leadership is defined as "a process ofsocial influencein which one person can enlist the aidand supportof others in the accomplishment of acommon task.”According to authorities, leadership hastwo

dimensions:

Consideration, which emphasizes goodrelations.A leader is friendly, approachable, and a

goodlistener.

Initiating structure, which stressesbehaviourinvolved in directing the organizationand helpingit to define and achieve its goals. Thisdimensionincludes the leader’s ability tounderstand theactions others can act upon.

From these two dimensions, we canconcludethat a leader performs three basicfunctions:organizational; interpersonal; and

decisional.These functions are essential in thesuccess of aleader. They are played out in theleader’s actionsand in the leader’s relationship with hisor herfollowers.

TRANSACTIONAL V.

TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERSHIPThereare two kinds of leadership:transactional andtransformational.

Transactional or managerial leadershipis aleadership style that promotes

compliance withexisting organizational norms throughsupervisionand monitored group performance usingtraditionalrewards and punishments. Transactionalleadershipis an effective strategy for projects thatmust closelyfollow standards to succeed.Transactional leadersare also especially effective in times ofcrisis, such as

the supertyphoon Yolanda.

Transactional leadership can be veryeffective in

the right settings. Good coaches ofsports teams aretransactional leaders. Sports teamsoperate withinrules with very little flexibility, andadherence toorganizational norms is the key to theirsuccess.Good coaches are able to motivate theirteammembers to play and win.

Transformational leadership focuses onthefollowers’ morale and engagement, andattempts tolink the followers’ sense of self withorganizational

values. This leadership style stressesleading byexample. This is the kind of leaderwhom we shouldelect in 2016. I call on the legendarycourage ofthe Batanguenos to reject any leaderinvolved inthe PlO billion pork barrel scandal, andto reelectsenators who are fighting to upholdjustice amongthe suspects, despite efforts at blackpropagandaby the mastermind in the Senate of theplunderconspiracy.

We do not have to choose between thesetwo kindsof leadership; instead we should useboth of them.

The full range approach of leadershipseeksto blend the best aspects of transactionalandtransformational leadership into onecomprehensiveapproach. In this approach, the leaderuses thesetechniques from transactional leaders:communicatesclear expectations of outcomes andrewards; givesrewards and recognition for

accomplishments;and actively monitors the followers’progress andprovides supportive feedback. At thesame time,the leader, in accordance withtransformationalleadership, makes interpersonalconnectionswith followers; mentors and coachesothers;solicits followers’ ideas; encouragescreativity andindividuality; inspires others to perform;and leadsby example.

OTHER LEADERSHIP PERSPECTIVES

Aside from transactional andtransformationalleadership, there are other leadershipperspectives,namely, moral leadership, servantleadership,shared leadership, and emotionalleadership,among others.

Moral or ethical leadership focuses onhowleaders use their social power in thedecisionsthey make, actions they engage in, andways theyinfluence others. An effective leader

influences asubordinate’s attitude and values. Thus,a moralleader has moral influence over his orher followers.

Servant leadership is exercised when theleaderis destined to work for people and thecommunity.A servant leader looks at what peopleneed and askshow to help people to solve problems.

Shared leadership means that leadershipisdistributed within a team, and peoplewithin that

team lead each other.

Emotional leadership is a process thatleadersuse to influence their followers in acommon goal.Leaders in a positive mood can impacttheir groupin a positive way. Charismatic leaderscan transmittheir emotions and influence followersthrough"emotional contagion.”1

DEVELOPING STUDENT LEADERSHIPYou— the youth who will determine thefuture ofthe Philippines — should not only get

involved, butalso each one of you should be a leader.Leadershipis not about personality; it’s aboutbehaviour—anobservable set of skills and abilities.Leaders arenot born; it takes practice to develop thequalitiesof a leader. Here are some ways to be aleader anddevelop leadership abilities:

Become an officer of the glee club, thedebateteam, the student government, or yourclass. Juststep up!

Play to your strengths. Get involved insomethingyou are passionate about.

Even when you don’t have the lead role,you canstill stand out by contributing as a teamplayer. Beinga team player is also a valuableleadership skill.

Sign up for more than one activity. Youdon’t

have to be president of everyorganization you join,but it is important to be well rounded.Don’t juststick to your comfort zone. Take time to

branch out.You might find a hidden talent you neverknew youhad.

Be involved in the larger communityoutside yourcampus. It shows that you care, that youare versatile,and that you want to make a difference.

Good student leaders share thefollowingcharacteristics:

Integrity. Integrity is the foundation ofleadership, and it is especially importantforstudents trying to establish themselves as

lifetimeleaders. Leaders with integrity aretrustworthy,honest, and able to consistently follow-through ontheir promises.

Compassion for others. A desire to helpotherssucceed and a simple willingness to helpothers isthe most genuine trait of a student leader.Showingyou care motivates other students tofollow yourexample.

Initiative. Student leaders step in when

help isneeded, they offer support to fellowstudents, andthey overcome peer pressure to do whatis right.Student leaders are typically self-starters who pushthemselves to succeed.

Vision. Student leaders need to have avision anda sense of purpose to accomplish things.

CONCLUSION: THE 2016 ELECTIONS

I have one final word on studentleadership. The2016 presidential elections will be a test

of leadershipduring these dark days, these particulartimeswhen government is investigating thePlO billionpork barrel scandal. As potential leadersof ourcountry, you should practice as leadersby advisingyour respective communities about thepork barrelscandal in relation to the 2016 elections,as follows:The Supreme Court has declared porkbarrel asunconstitutional. But during the timewhen pork

barrel was still a legitimate exercise ofthe powerto reduce poverty, it became awidespread sourceof corruption from no less than theleaders of ourcountry. I refer to those who are electedsenatorsand representatives. This sordid case ofplunder inour political history is evidence thatcorruption iscaused by a top-down process.

Therefore, we should not reelect anysenators orcongressmen running for reelection in2016, if they

are among those against whom theOmbudsman willfile criminal charges for plunder ormalversationin the trial court known as theSandiganbayan.Of course, every person enjoys apresumption ofinnocence. But when the Ombudsmanconductsthe preliminary investigation, she goesovervoluminous papers and other documents,as well asaffidavits executed by eyewitnesses. Shehas to dothis, because under the law, the

Ombudsman whois the prosecutor in this case, has toprove what thelaw calls a prima facie case. The termprima facieis a Latin phrase which means at firstsight, or onfirst appearance, but subject to furtherevidenceor information. Hence, if theOmbudsman filesa case against a reelectionist for plunderin theSandiganbayan, this means that she hasin herpossession enough evidence to allow thetrial court

to rule in favor of the government.

While all this investigation is going on,particularly on television when the BlueRibbonCommittee conducts hearings andexamines allegedwitnesses, you will notice that certainpoliticians andother members of the high and mighty insocietyare conspicuous by their silence.Politicians whopurposely refrain from participating inthe nationaldebate on the pork barrel scandal arepoliticians whoare cowards, because they refuse to take

a positionfor fear of incurring the anger of theguilty ones.This kind of cowardice is anathema toleadership.

Hence, in conclusion, I urge you to goback toyour community, and advise yourrelatives andneighbors to reject politicians who areconsistentlysilent on the pork barrel scandal. Silencemeans thatthe particular politician is willing tomake friendswith anybody, right or wrong, corrupt orhonest, as

long as the politician can gather votes.This is themantra of the unprincipled person. Inother words,that candidate is an opportunist. He doesnot actout of conviction, but acts out of what isconvenientfor himself. This is the test I want you toapply,as the 2016 elections approach. Applythe test ofleadership among the candidates.

In my view, leadership is the courage totakerisks in defense of a position that is bothlegal and

moral. The politician who tries tobecome a wiseguy by becoming friends to everybody— corruptor not — is not a leader. That kind of apoliticiandoes not deserve to be invited to theLyceum of thePhilippines University.

That kind of politician I abhor at firstsight, andthat kind of crook I will fight to thedeath, even ifhe has all the money and power in ourcountry;and even if he can afford to pay an entirearmy of

corrupt journalists to destroy me, and anentirearmy of paid assassins to threaten me. Iwill take mycourage from you people — the great,the good, thevery brave Batanguenos

94

I think divorce should be available topeople whobecome homicidal at the sight of eachother.

A survey was conducted to find out whatis the firstthing men look at when a beautifulwoman passes by.According to single men—

35% said they look at thewoman’s face;30% said they look at the woman’sbreasts;

20% said they look at the woman’sbuttocks when she walks away;

15% said they look at the woman’s legs.

But—

IOO% of married men saidthey first look at theirwives to check if they arelooking at them.Men are like horoscopes, they alwaystellyou what to do and are usually wrong.

A smart wife is one who makes sure shespends so

much that her husband can’t affordanother woman.

Question: What is the punishment forbigamy?Answer: Two wives.

It is very important that you shouldchoose the personyou will marry and stay with that person.There aremany people now who believe in seriallove, loving oneperson after another. I don’t think that isgood for ourmental health. I think we should get itover with. It’s likemeasles, you know. You only get it once

in your lifetimeand you are immune forever. I am veryhappy to say thatis what happened to me. I am completelyimmune to anytemptation. All men who have passed mylife after I gotmarried might as well have been sticksof furniture.

After a hard day’s work, it’s great tocome home andhave someone to yell at, at the top of mylungs.

I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’tcommitadultery. I only tell lies to my husband.

When I got married, I noticedimmediately that thereseems to be a rivalry between the egosof two people.So, if you just kill your ego, there’s noproblem.To fight with someone who’s going to bewith youfor the rest of your life is socounterproductive.

So I just said to my husband on ourhoneymoon,"I’ll go my way, and you’ll go my way.”

If you are in a relationship, stop tryingto figure out whowears the pants between the two of you.Relationshipswork best when both of you are not

wearing pants.

There is a recent study that more than 60percentof married men in Metro Manila areunfaithfulto their wives. This is because theremaining 40percent bring their mistresses to theprovinces.

Scientists have discovered a food thatdiminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90percent.Ang tawag doon ay wedding cake.

Five tips for a happy man’s life:

Have a girl to help you at work.

Have a girl to take care of you & loveyou.Have a girl who can make you laugh.Have a girl who spoils you.

Lastly, and most importantly,Siguraduhin na hindi magkakakilalaang apat na babaeng iyon.

A couple is lying in bed.

The man says: "Right now, for thisWomen’s Day, I amgoing to make you the happiest woman inthe world!’’The woman says: "Oh dear, I will missyou!”

Marriages are made in heaven. But thenagain, so are thunder and lightning.

After marriage, husband and wifebecome two sides of acoin—they can’t face each other but theystill stay together

Marriage is when a man and a womanbecome as one.The trouble starts when they try todecide which one.

Before marriage, a man will lie awakeall nightthinking about something she said. Aftermarriage,he will fall asleep before she finishestalking.

They say when a man holds a woman’shand beforemarriage, that is love. After marriage,that is self-defense

Marriage is love. Love is blind.Therefore,marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence—a life sentence.

Husband: Love, may taning na ang buhayko.

Huling gabi ko na ’to, let’s make love.Wife: Heh, tumigil ka nga! Maaga paakonggigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na!

Husband: Parati na lang tayo nag-aaway! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!

Wife: Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!Husband: Akin ang mga guwapo atmaganda!Wife: 'Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!

Ano sa Tagalog ang: "Eat All You Can,don’t be shy, feel at home!”

Sagot: "Kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiyakayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!”

The worst thing about being married is

having to tolerate the bodynoises of your spouse, especially as youboth grow older.

Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa:

Advantage: Pag kailangan mo, nandiyanagad.Disadvantage: Pag ayaw mo na, andiyanpa rin!

At a cocktail party, one woman said toanother,"Aren’t you wearing your wedding ringon thewrong finger?” The other woman

replied,"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”

Marriage: a community consisting of amaster, amistress, and two slaves, making in all,two.

When the husband says, "Ako ang tigassa amin.”He really means: "Ako ang tigas- saingng kanin,tigas-sampay ng labada, tigas-sama sapalengke,at tigas-sundo sa eskwela ng mga bata.”

When the husband says: "Gagawin kokahitayaw ng Misis ko.” He really means,

'"Gagawinkong maghugas ng pinggan kung ayawniya,gagawin kong maglaba kung ayaw niya.”

When the husband says, "Kapag sinabikong hiwalay,HIWALAY! ” He really means,"Hiniwalay ko na angputi sa de-kolor at baka kumupas anglabada.”

When the husband says, "Lahat ng utosko ay pasigaw.He really means, "Hoy, pakibilisan monaman iyangkape, please, at giniginaw na ako dito salabahan!”

Adik sa droga: Payag ka na bangmagpakasal sa akin?Babae: Oo, pero ok lang ba sa iyokung meron akong past?

Adik: Ok lang, wala naman akong futureeh!

Wife: Ibili mo naman ako ng bagong bra.Husband: 'Wag ka na mag-bra, maliitnaman boobs mo, eh.

Wife: Eh, bakit ikaw, nagbi-brief?

Husband says: When I’m gone you’llnever findanother man like me. Wife replied: Whatmakesyou think I’d want another man like

you?!

Wife: My husband and I have what hecalls Olympic sex.Friend: Wow, you must be having aterrific sex life!Wife: Not really. It only happens once in4 years.

May isang husband na proud na proud namay anim naanak silang mag-asawa. Sobrang proudsiya na ang laging tawag niya sa wifeniya ay "Mother of Six.” Pero nai-inis ang wife niya tuwing sasabihin itong husband niya.Nang minsan pagkatapos nilang kumainsa isang

mataong restaurant, malakas na sinabi nghusbandsa wife niya, "Umuwi na tayo, Mother ofSix!”Sumagot din nang malakas ang wife,

"Sige, tayo na, Father of Four!”

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Kapag sinabi sa iyo ng boyfriend mo nananlalamig na siyasa iyo, buhusan mo ng gasolina atsilaban mo.

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My management style? Spiritualfortitude,intellectual scholarship, and, (smiling) ifall elsefails, physical violence might provesalutary.(After winning the Magsaysay Awardfor government service.)

They were not only rebellious, theywere maliciousto boot. Naturally I got mad, but Irestrainedmyself. No, I did not throw a chair at myemployees. (Laughing) The accuratestatementis that I may have rearranged the

furniture.(After scolding a few governmentemployees who declared theirintention to have her removed asImmigration Commissioner.)

I’m very results-oriented, and I do havea kamikazeattitude. I don’t care if I go down inflames, as longas my enemies and I go down in flamestogether. Ormaybe you can call it the Samson-in-the-templesyndrome. I don’t care if I destroymyself, as long asI destroy the temple of corruption. Thatwould be a

definite service to the community, don’tyou think?

(In a magazine cover story.)

I’m surprised the photographer used thatshot. Heand I had an agreement that he wouldtake shotsof me swimming in the pool. I followedall hisinstructions, exactly as if I were atrained dolphin.(Explaining the publication in a majornewspaper ofher controversial photo in a bathingsuit.)

Nandiyan na ’yan, kasama sa trabaho.

Siguromabuti na ngang lumabas ’yung litratongyon,dahil diyan mapapatunayan na pag sinabiko angvital statistics ko, totoo! Patunay nahindi akosinungaling, hindi kamukha ng mgakalaban ko!(Laughing at the same photo.)

I always put myself in harm’s waybecausethat is where I am most effective.

Every Filipino dreams in his heart ofdoing a great,magnificent selfless act of sacrifice for

the country.In my case, I tried for President and Ifailed. Maybe,my best service to the country would beif one workingday I strap myself with grenades and justhurl myselfbodily onto the center of the SenateSession Hall.

My favorite poetess is Emily Dickinson.Shewas a recluse. I’d love to be a recluse ,but Ihave to be famous before I become arecluse.Otherwise, I’d simply be calledAnonymous.

Public opinion is untrustworthy. It isalso merciless,pitiless. I am never allowed to have anoff day. WhenI speak, I must always be brilliant. I cannever have aday when I can sound dumb likeeverybody else.

Excuse me, I’m not a blushing bride. I’ma veteran wife.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am theUP graduatewho has, in a modest way, focusednational attentionon the political malady known aslogopaedics,

the branch of medicine that deals withspeechdisabilities and their treatment. Kasi angibang taosa impeachment trial, hindi marunongmagsabi ngtotoo, kaya binibigyan ko sila ng speechtherapy.(Commencement speech before the U.P.College of Medicine graduateson 20 May 2012 at the U.P. Theater inDiliman campus.)

As the author of the Reproductive Healthbill in theSenate, I am preparing my battle gear.After the SONA,we will be ready for a shootout. I am

preparing my NavySeals and my stealth bombers so that wecan rescue thepeople who are suffering from fortressmentality.

I went to see a pulmonologist and thenshe said,"I’m sorry but you have cancer,” and Isaid, "Yes!”because I wanted a challenge in my life.

If I do not die of cancer, or if I do not diefromthe medication, I will die from making aliving,because these cancer pills are soexpensive.

I feel like I am going, going, and soon begone.Just call me the disappearing senator.(Miriam on her cancer illness.)

Yes, I am intellectually arrogant. Allintellectualsare entitled to be arrogant. That’s theonly way theycan educate the non-intellectual. Inggitlang sila.

I’d normally sit in front where I worshipmy professor.I’d stare with lovestruck eyes, takedown everything he saysand I don’t even breathe. That’s how Igot to be a scholarbecause all my professors knew that Iadored them.(Miriam recounting her student days.)

People would be surprised to findout I don’t scream every day.

I resort to this mischievous way ofthinking maybeto relax the neurons in my brain,especially when Ifight with someone with no neurons

whatsoever.

Walk around naked in Metro Manila. Iwouldwalk around naked and display myself tothegeneral public and say, "Are you happynow?”(Answer to the question: If there wereno rules in your life forone day and you could be outrageous,what would you do ?)

Hindi naman ako mataba eh. In fact,I’m so sexy that it overflows.

Wala naman talagang pangit, sadyangnasobrahan lang ako sa ganda.

Kakatanggap ko lang ng aking medicalresults. Maysakit daw ako. Habang tumatanda ako,gumagandadaw ako. Don’t worry, hindi itonakakahawa.Iyon nga lang, hindi na daw akogagaling.

I never wanted to be a warrior. I wantedto be a scholar.I consider every act of evil a personalchallenge.

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LESSONS OF LIFE

Nothing matters more to the future of thisnation than to

ensure that our young women and menlearn to believein themselves and to believe in theirdreams. I believeone of our country’s most pricelessassets is the idealismof our young people. My generation hasinvested all thatit has — not only its love, but also itshope and faith — inyour generation.

Hence, allow me to share with you whatlife has taughtme, and in the end to encapsulate for youthe meaningof life. First, life teaches us that, whetherwe perceive

it as predestined or random, it is beyondany person’scontrol. Human beings have inhabitedthis planet foronly 250,000 years or .0015 per cent ofthe history oflife, the last inch of the cosmic mile. Theearth workedperfectly well without us for billions ofyears, and it willcontinue to do so even when we aregone. This factmakes our existence seem more like ahappy accidentthan a carefully thought-out plan.

The second important lesson that life hastaught me

is this: there is no template for themeaning of life.Instead, the meaning of life is what youchoose to makeit mean. Life is the consequence of ourmoral choices.

A MEANINGFUL LIFE

While there is no blueprint for themeaning of life, thereis countless research on ways to have amore meaningfullife. There are three ways to make yourlife moremeaningful:

First, get connected. While a busy social

life with lotsof friends may help keep you happy, it isthe deeperrelationships with loved ones that willtruly add meaningto your life.

Second, do not shy away from stress.The things thatadd the most meaning to our lives — ahigh-pressure jobor caring for a loved one — are often thesame things thatadd the most stress to our day-to-dayexistence. However,taking the easy road is not always thebetter option. Thebiggest challenges in life often lead to

the biggest gains inthe long run.

Third, find a sense of purpose. Studiesshow thatpeople who spend more time pursuingactivities thatreflected their sense of self were thepeople who foundtheir lives more meaningful. A life filledwith meaningis linked to doing things that express andreflect the self.

PREPARING FOR ASEAN INTEGRATION

Your school authorities have requestedme to talk on

ASEAN integration. Integration meansthat as a rule,every ASEAN country will treat peopleand productsfrom any country in the whole ASEANregion, as if theyare the people and products coming fromthe countryitself. Thus, integration will mean that inASEANamong ourselves we will pay less taxes,less customsduties, and less import taxes. TheASEAN countrieswill form the equivalent of what used tobe called the

European Common Market, and what is

now called theEuropean Union. All separate neighborswill becomebound together into one whole calledASEAN CommonMarket, with each country entitled toequal participationand membership.

In 2003, the ten member-states of theAssociationof Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) —the Philippines,Brunei, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos,Malaysia,Myanmar, Singapore, Thailand, andVietnam — agreedto integrate their economies. In 2007, the

leaders of theASEAN countries approved a"blueprint” to guide eachmember on initiatives and measures toachieve regionalintegration which is scheduled for 2015.

ASEAN integration will allow the tencountries andover half a billion people to participatein the free flow ofgoods, services, labor, capital, andforeign investment.Ultimately, integration will foster greatercooperationand healthy competition in the region.

There are many advantages of ASEAN

integration.One advantage is the opening up of jobmarkets in theregion. While many Filipinos alreadywork in otherASEAN countries, the process oflooking for jobs abroadwill be made easier by the integration.But this alsomeans that the job market will be fiercer.Filipinos willhave to compete against applicants fromother ASEANnations. However, we have an advantagebecause we arehighly adaptable. We can easily adapt tomulticultural

workplaces. Our command of theEnglish language is

also an advantage over our ASEANcounterparts.

Another advantage is the regionalcommunityapproach to integration of education inthe region. TheK-to-I2 program has been instituted tomake Philippineeducation comparable to the ASEANand the rest ofthe world. The academic calendarsynchronization ofASEAN universities lays thegroundwork for increasing

student and faculty mobility within theregion. Only thePhilippines starts its academic calendarin June. Mostuniversities in China, Korea, Japan, andNorth Americastart their classes in August orSeptember.

This integration is the main reason whysomePhilippine universities havesynchronized their schoolcalendars in 2014 with those of theircounterparts inother ASEAN countries. Thesynchronization of theacademic calendar of Philippine

universities with mostASEAN, European, and Americanacademic partnerswill create more joint programs andpartnerships withother universities and allow students toget transfercredits from different universities in theASEAN.

LPU Laguna is ahead of the curve withrespectto the ASEAN integration. You have thefollowingdesirable assets: experienced educatorsand mentors;internationally responsive academicprograms; and a

beautiful and world-class campusconducive to learning.All these make you extremely attractiveto foreign studentsand scholars.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, allow me to recite somestanzasfrom the poem "What I Live For:”

I live for those who love me,

Whose hearts are kind and true-,

For the Heaven that smiles above me,

And awaits my spirit too;

For all human ties that bind me,

For the task by God assigned me,

For the bright hopes yet to find me,

And the good that I can do.

I live to hail that seasonBy gifted ones foretold,

When men shall live by reason,

And not alone by gold;

When man to man united,

And every wrong thing righted,

The whole world shall be lightedAs Eden was of old.

I live for those who love me,

For those who know me true,

For the Heaven that smiles above me,And awaits my spirit too;

For the cause that lacks assistance,

For the wrong that needs resistance,For the future in the distance,

And the good that I can do.I Stephen Jay Gould on the meaning of life. htlp://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/20i2/og/17/the-meaning-of-life/

2 http://news.health.com/20i4-/Ol/22/5-ycays-to-have-a-more-meaningful-life/

3 "Is the Philippines Ready for ASEAN Economic Integrationin 2015?”. BusinessJournal. American Chamber of Commerce of the Philippines,Inc., October 2013.

Photo by Menchit Ongpin

MIRIAM DEFENSOR SANTIAGO

ResumeAugust 2014

GLOBAL FAME

She earned the degree, Doctor ofJuridical Science, inthe United States. Dr. Miriam DefensorSantiago is aglobally famous personality, because ofher legal brillianceand courageous example in fightingcorruption. In anation where many public officials arecharged with, or

suspected, of plunder, her honesty shineslike a light inthe darkness.

She has brought honor to the Philippinesin severalways. She is the first Filipino and thefirst Asian from adeveloping country, to be elected in theUnited Nationsas judge of the International CriminalCourt. TheICC hears cases against heads of state.Thus, she putthe Philippines on the global map in the21st century.Unfortunately, grave illness forced her towaive the

privilege of being an ICC judge.

For two years, she suffered from chronicfatiguesyndrome. In June 2014 she wasdiagnosed with lungcancer, stage 4 (the last stage). But withher signaturehumor and bravery, she fought back, andher cancer hasregressed. Even cancer cells are afraidof her!

She was chosen as laureate of theMagsaysay Awardfor Government Service, known as theAsian equivalentof the Nobel Prize. She was cited "for

bold and moralleadership in cleaning up a graft-riddengovernmentagency.” She was named one of "TheIOO Most PowerfulWomen in the World” by The Australianmagazine.

ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE

Dr. Santiago is one of the mostintellectually brilliantleaders that our country has ever seen.She earnedthe degrees Bachelor of Arts, magna cumlaude; andBachelor of Laws, cum laude, from theUniversity of the

Philippines. She went abroad and earnedthe graduatedegrees of Master of Laws, and Doctorof JuridicalScience, from the University ofMichigan, one of thetop three law schools in the UnitedStates. She finishedthe academic requirements for thedegree Master of Artsin Religious Studies, at the MaryhillSchool of Theology.

In U.P., the perfect grade is I.O. In herlastundergraduate semester, Dr. Santiagoearned thenear-perfect average grade of 1.1. And

she finished her4-year course in only 3-1/2 years. At theUniversity ofMichigan, she was a Barbour Scholarand DeWitt Fellow.She finished her master s degree in onlyone year, andher doctorate in only six months.

Our guest speaker loves learning. Shehas donepostdoctoral studies all over the world,including OxfordUniversity, Cambridge University,Harvard University,University of California at Berkeley,Stanford University,and Academy of Public International

Law at the PeaceAPPENDIX

Palace (the seat of the InternationalCourt of Justice), atThe Hague, Netherlands.

Dr. Santiago was class valedictorian atall levels —elementary, high school, and college.She made historyin U.P. when she became the first femaleeditor-in-chiefof the famous student newspaper,Philippine Collegian,thus shattering a 50-year old record ofmale dominance.She won as Best Debater in the annual

U.P. law debate,where she was captain of the winningteam. It is interestingthat at the same time she held a campusbeauty title, notonce but twice — as ROTC corpssponsor.

PROFESSIONAL EXCELLENCE

Dr. Santiago holds an amazing record ofexcellence inall three branches of government —judicial, executive,and legislative. In the judicial branch,she has beenpresiding judge of the Regional TrialCourt at Quezon

City. In the executive branch, she hasbeen immigrationcommissioner; and a cabinet member, asagrarian reformsecretary. In the legislative branch, shehas now been asenator for three terms.

Dr. Santiago worked abroad. She servedas legalofficer of the United Nations in Geneva,Switzerland.She also served as a consultant of thePhilippine embassyin Washington, D.C.

In all three branches of government, shehas been

showered with awards for beingoutstanding, makingher the most awarded public official inour country

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today. For example, she has receivedawards such as TheOutstanding Young Men, or TOYM; TheOutstandingWomen in the Nation’s Service, orTOWNS; and MostOutstanding Alumna in Law from U.P.

Dr. Santiago was a U.P. law professorfor some IOyears, teaching evening class after officehours. She has

written some 30 books, many of whichare very scholarlytextbooks in law and the social sciences,well advancedof our time. During her initial battle withcancer, shecontinued to work on the 2014 edition ofall her lawbooks.She is considered the leading expert ofher generation inconstitutional law and in internationallaw.

In the Philippine Senate where Dr.Santiago is onher third term, she has filed the highestnumber of bills,and authored some of the most important

laws. Some ofher most important pending bills are:anti-dynasty bill;an act institutionalizing an age-appropriate curriculumto prevent the abduction, exploitation,and sexual abuseof children; anti-epal bill; freedom ofinformation bill;and magna carta for Philippine internetfreedom. Shehas been fearless in exposing andnaming notoriouscriminal suspects in legislativeinvestigations, particularlyin naming jueteng lords and illegallogging lords.

UNQUESTIONED HONESTY

It was Senator Santiago who in effectstarted the nationalplunder investigation (which is now ahistoric scandal).In December 2012 she revealed thatthe senate presidenthad used Senate funds to give away cashgifts. Everysenator received P2 million as aChristmas gift, takenfrom public funds, except SenatorSantiago and twoothers. That scandal led to the notoriouspork barrelscandal, for which the senate president

is now suspendedand in jail, having been charged withplunder by theOmbudsman.

COA records show that her "porkbarrel,” also knownas PDAF, was never marred by anykickback, unlike thoseof her colleagues in Congress. In threeseparate cases,the Supreme Court had upheld the porkbarrel systemas constitutional. Sen. Santiago gave herPDAF to: theUniversity of the Philippines system;Philippine GeneralHospital; and local government units.

She never releasedher pork barrel to any NGO, particularlythose headed bythose guilty of plunder, which meanswholesale stealingof public money by accepting kickbacks,or simplypocketing the entire money.

After the impeachment of the ChiefJustice in 2012,it was later revealed that Miriam wasone of only threesenators who refused to receive theDAP, amounting toP50 million for every senator and PlOmillion for everycongressman. It was also later revealed

that three senatorseven received PlOO million each,after the impeachment.

When she was a student in U.P. lawschool, onemagazine dubbed her "Supergirl at theState University.”She is probably the public officialwhose face has gracedthe highest number of magazine covers.She has beenfeatured by famous internationalpublications, includingTime, the New York Times, and theHerald-Tribune.

In 1992, the foreign press reported that

she had beenelected as President of the Philippinesafter a nationwideelection. However, she was cheated. Asthe Filipinos say:"Miriam won in the voting, but lost inthe counting. ”

She is a renowned celebrity. Like a rockstar, sheattracts crowds everywhere. She is themost sought-afterguest speaker of university students. Sen.Santiago is awoman of destiny. She will beremembered in Philippinehistory as a genuine hero of her people.

She has been called the incorruptiblelady, theplatinum lady, the tiger lady, the dragonlady, the ironlady of Asia, the queen of popularitypolls, and theundisputed campus hero. But to hermillions of fans,she is best known for the unique brand ofcharismaticleadership that media likes to call"Miriam Magic.”

ILLUSTRATORS

Manix Abrera, pp49, 75

Kay Aranzanso, p 57

Jose Noel Avendano, pn6

Rob Cham, pp 7, 15

Dark Chapel, pp 11, 19,105

Rommel Estanislao, pp 61, 79

Francis Martelino, pp 71, 81, 97,106

Josel Nicolas, pp53, 65

Cj de Silva-Ong, pp 22,113

Elbert Or, PP33, 37

Joshua Panelo, pp 29, 38

Julius Villanueva, p 101

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