Supporting the Journey:2012 After School Conference

Laurie Frank, GOAL Consulting

Supporting Healthy Relationships Through Conflict Resolution

and Lifeskill Development

Agenda

• INTRODUCTION• PREVENTION• INTERVENTION• INVENTION• CLOSING

Think about young people with whom you work.

What skills, qualities, and attributes do you want them to have 20 years from now?

VISION•HONEST     • CREATIVE•EMPATHETIC    • RESPECT•RESPONSIBLE    • MOTIVATED•SELF RESPECT    • RELIABLE•LITERATE • EMPLOYED•CONFIDENT    • HEALTHY•SELF SUFFICIENT•SENSE OF HUMOR•INDEPENDENT•PERSEVERENCE•RESOURCEFUL•PROBLEM SOLVERS•GOOD COMMUNICATOR

•LOYAL • RESILIENT•CARING • PATIENT•HAPPY • AT PEACE•INTEGRITY •

RESOURCEFUL•SUCCESSFUL • CONTRIBUTOR• FORGIVING •GOOD PARENTS•POSITIVE ATTITUDE•WELL-INFORMED•GET ALONG W/ OTHERS•GOOD SELF ESTEEM•CRITICAL THINKER•COMPASSIONATE•PRODUCTIVE CITIZENS

The Container Concept

Not all Containers are Alike

We Have Choices…We have Influence…

What are the qualities of the container in your program?

Between Teacher and ChildI have come to a frightening conclusion. I am the decisive element in the classroom.It is my personal approach that creates the climate.It is my daily mood that makes the weather.As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous.I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or de-humanized.

Haim Ginott, 1922-1973

Clinical psychologist,

Child therapist,

Parent educator, and author

PII: Prevention, Intervention, Invention

PII

• Prevention is anything we do to prevent conflict in our programs or to prepare for it before it happens.

• Intervention is responding when conflicts do happen.

• Invention is creating something new and constructive out of the situation.

PREVENTION

INTERVENTION

INVENTION

PBIS Continuum and PII Approach*

* Positive Behavior

Interventions & Supports and Prevention,

Intervention , Invention

PREVENTIONStaff Conversation & Reflection

• Doing some constructive thinking about where conflicts are likely to occur and what can be done to prevent them;

• Setting up ways to handle conflicts when they do occur;

• Consistency – speaking with one voice

PREVENTIONCreating a Safe Container

• Establishing procedures, routines, and norms for common activities;

• Creating a feeling of community and caring;

• Building relationships and a sense of trust;

The Morning Meeting Book, Journey Toward the Caring Classroom,

TRIBES

From Lake View Elementary School, Madison, WI

PREVENTIONSkill Building

• Teaching skills for: - Life Skills- Cooperation- Communication- Expressing Feelings- Appreciating Diversity- Conflict Resolution

Supports Social Emotional Learning (SEL)

See www.CASEL.org

An Incomplete list of Lifeskills… Asking for Help Attentive Listening Caring Choice and Accountability Citizenship Cleanliness Common Sense Communication Conflict Resolution Conservation Cooperation Courage Curiosity Diversity Effort Empathy Endurance

Flexibility Forgiveness Friendship Goal Setting Health Honesty Imagination Inclusion Integrity Initiative Justice Kindness Leadership Loyalty Making Mistakes Mixing Organization

Patience Peacefulness Perseverance Perspective Taking Pride Problem Solving Purpose Relationships Resourcefulness Respect Responsibility Risk Taking Safety Self-Discipline Sense of Humor Trust/Trustworthiness Wisdom

INTERVENTIONDealing with the conflict in ways that: • Solve problems;• Help students to be more independent in their

conflict resolution;• Help students learn from their experiences;• Improve relationships among students as well

as between students and staff.

SEE: Adventures in Peacemaking by Kreidler & Furlong

Reacting

Acting without thinking

Responding

Thinking before we act

PROACTIVE INTERVENTION

• Staying Calm: Resist emotional flooding (using the prefrontal cortex)

• Defusing Anger• De-escalating Conflict• Resolving Conflict

Rather than short-circuiting it

A Problem Solving Process

• A = Ask what is the problem?

• B = Brainstorm possible solutions

• C = Choose one

• D = Do it

• E = Evaluate

Adapted from the Mediation Center, Asheville, NC

INVENTIONUsing conflict productively to:

• Help students learn;• Mobilize support and structure for individual

students• Identify problems, weaknesses and areas of

concern in the classroom;• Identify skills individual students need to

develop in conflict resolution.

Key Invention questions

Is the conflict:• A sign that something is wrong with the program;• A sign students need more skills;• A sign that the program is not well-planned;• A sign that we need to look outside of the program

to address the conflict?

Key Invention questions

• Are there new procedures we need to establish in the program?

• Do we need to revise our procedures or schedules?

• Is our program meeting students’ needs?• Are we planning in a way that prevents

conflict?

“People and environments are never neutral, they are either summoning or shunning the development of human potential.”

Purkey & Novak, Inviting School Success

Laurie FrankGOAL Consulting1337 Jenifer StreetMadison, Wisconsin 53703USA

+1-608-251-2234LSFrank@mac.comwww.goalconsulting.org

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