susan windsor - dont shoot the messenger

© Copyright 2008 Aqastra 1

Dedicated to Testing Excellence

EuroSTAR 2009

Don’t Shoot the Messenger!

Susan Windsor

© Copyright 2009 Aqastra2

Topics we will cover together• The SCIENCE of Persuasion• The ART of Story Telling• Communication Styles


Things to think about

• Have some fun if you can• Participate when you feel able• Share a little bit of YOU• Keep an open mind• Learn from each other


The PurposeWho am I and Why am I Here?

• We should all ask ourselves this• We’ll return to these two questions

later• In the meantime:–Who is Susan Windsor?–Why is she here?


Exercise

“Crossing the Line” competition!


Why are You Here?I’ll take a few guesses for now….

• You feel under-valued • No one seems to understand your test reports• Systems go live when you’ve stressed serious

issues• You always seem to have less time/staff than

you need to do the job you want to do• Developers see you as an inhibitor to moving

on

Any more you want to share?


What’s the Difference?

• The SCIENCE of Persuasion– Left brain activity

• Logical• Sequential• Rational• Analytical• Looks at parts

• The ART of Story Telling– Right brain activity

• Random• Intuitive• Holistic• Subjective• Looks at wholes

Related topics but very differently implementedCommunication Styles underpin both

Both need practice and a change of your behaviour (the difficult bit!)


But is it Manipulation?

• We all have good and bad in us, you could use the techniques to the detriment of others

• People don’t do things against their beliefs and values for long though!

• We all want to improve our ability to communicate in the best interests of us, those around us and our organisation.

The SCIENCE of Persuasion


My Key Reference PointInterpreted by me!

YES – 50 Secrets from the Science of Persuasion

Noah J GoldsteinSteve J Martin

Robert B Cialdini

“Surprising, provocative, fun” – Tim Harford of the Undercover Economist

Read it for yourself and draw your own conclusions


Why Science?

• Persuasion has been studied for over half a century

• Much of the results lay dormant in academic journals – it’s a kind of secret

• Why is it overlooked?– People prefer to rely on economics, politics

science and policy– People believe (normally incorrectly) that they

already have intuitive understanding of physiological principles


Six Key Principles• Reciprocation

– The return of favours (what goes around comes around)

• Authority– The seeking out of experts (you!)

• Commitment/Consistency– Agreement to things that fit our values and beliefs

• Scarcity– The less available something is, the more desirable it becomes

• Liking– The more we like someone, the more likely we are to say yes

• Social Proof– We guide our behaviour to match others (even though we say

we don’t)


Reciprocation

• If you’re able to help someone, just do it, without expecting anything in return.

• Register this in a way that feels comfortable:– I know you’d do the same for me – I’m very limited on time but I’ll see what I can

do

• Eventually the favour will return to you• Used as a lever, it only works once!• Visibility matters


Reciprocation Example

• Bobby Fisher• Mine• Yours?• Is there someone you’d like to

do you a favour?


Authority

• You’re an expert • People like to seek out expert advice• BUT people don’t like show-off’s• How do you get known as an expert

not a show off? • Bit of a dilemma! • Not by saying “I’m the testing expert,

listen to me!”


Authority Example

• Think about EuroSTAR (and other conferences)

• Why are speakers introduced by someone else?

• Blatant self-promotion causes damage• Who can sing your praises as an expert?– Spend a minute thinking who can do this for you– How can you ask them to do this?– Can the group help?


Commitment

• Research shows if you write an appointment down yourself (doctor, hairdresser, etc) you’re more likely to turn up.

• If you get others to write down their actions and read them back to you, they are more likely to do them – try it.

• Discuss examples from our own experience


Consistency

• The only truly consistent people are dead!• But people don’t like change• If you want someone to change their

behaviour, demonstrate how it fits in with their values and beliefs.

• Best way to ride a horse is in the direction it’s going! Easier to gently steer to align with your target

• Discuss examples from our own experiences


Scarcity

• We’ve all heard the adverts, “our phone operators are waiting for your call”

• What image does this give you? Does it make you want to call them?

• Research shows “if we’re busy, please call again later” greatly increases the number of calls

• You’re busy too! • Offer small time slots to people you want

to talk to instead of always being available


Liking

• We all find it easier to deal with people we like

• What if you have to work with someone you don’t like?

• What if you suspect someone you work with doesn’t like you?


Social Proof

• We all say we’re not influenced by the actions of others but the science proves this isn’t true

• As testers, change your terminology to stakeholders

• Discuss examples from our own experience


Hints and Tips

• Magnetic middle• More is less• Bonus can be an Onus• Increase desirability• Fear• Post it Notes• Seeking agreement

The ART of Story Telling


My Key Reference PointInterpreted by Me!

The Story FactorInspiration, Influence and Persuasion Through the Art of Storytelling

Annette Simmons

“This wonderful book….. will unleash your capacity to be more effective in whatever your line of work.

Everyone who cares about positive change at an individual, organisational or global level should experience The Story Factor”

Gail Christopher, Harvard University


Exercise

“Finding your Comfort Zone”


Why Art?

• You have wisdom you can’t explain and don’t know you have – everyone does

• This can help you influence others• Learn to trust your wisdom • Explaining storytelling is like explaining

a kitten. Our memories are meaningful as a whole not dissected. Trying to dissect the memory is like cutting a kitten in half


Why Now?

• Ancient form of communication, it should be natural, but we have forgotten it!

• There is an emerging realisation that to have a thriving business, you need “whole” people – people with left brains as well as right!

• The emotional brain doesn’t like being neglected

• People value their own conclusions more than yours

• Everyone deep down wants to be proud of their lives and feel they are important


My Overriding Premise

• Stakeholders don’t need more information!• They are up to their eyeballs in information• They want faith

– In you– In your goals– In your success– In the story you tell

• Faith moves mountains, not facts• A story is worth a thousand assurances


Timing is Critical

• People won’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care

• When direct approach doesn’t work, story gives indirect alternative

• The emotional brain would rather be safe than sorry, we filter everything through a believability index.

• In a complex situation, people listen to the person who makes the most sense

• IT moved slowly enough for us to pretend we lived in a linear and predictable world – not any more!


Rebuke and Timing

• We give rebuke when timing is right for us

• If timing not “right” for the other person they can’t “hear” your message.

• Story helps people understand what the facts they already have mean

• Reach out for the collective wisdom


6 Key Stories Actually you may have 3 or 33, but let’s start with these to help your left brain out!

• Who I Am• Why Am I Here• The Vision • Teaching• Values in Action• I Know What You’re Thinking

We’ll discuss these in more detail shortly


But first – who influences you? • Think of two people who have tried to

influence you; one who succeeded and one who failed

• How “connected” were you to each. Influenced you because you felt “connected”, or felt “connected” after they influenced you?

• Think about our language.– He’s OK I know him - or– It’s not that I don’t trust him, I just don’t know him!– This guy doesn’t live in the real world


Who do you want to Influence?• Probably someone you already know• They don’t really know you, but already

have an opinion• Most IT folk appear one-dimensional• One-dimensional people are boring• It’s a mistake to assume they already

perceive your good intentions, or that they trust you.

• If they say no to you, or don’t listen to you, they will refer to facts as reasons why


What if there is already a Disconnect?• It takes lots of baby steps to change

someone’s mind• You could try– Shouting at them; Reasoning with them;

Insulting their intelligence; Confrontation

• Going “head to head” gives their negative opinion more energy

• The left brain builds walls of logic


How about Influencing ourselves?• The stories we tell ourselves make us

who we are.• Self fulfilling prophesy• Examples– I can’t win!– No one ever listens to me!– Stakeholders never understand!

• Learn some new ones– Lets brainstorm some examples


Who Am I and Why Am I Here?• Continuously revisit these– From “meaning of life” context– To why you are at this session, meeting, etc

• Develop stories to represent yourself• Share them when you get the chance –

practice• Starting now!• What can you share about yourself

today?


Exercise

“Visual Representation”


The Vision

• Stakeholders have to “see” what’s in it for them

• If they don’t “see” your vision it’s not their fault

• Give the struggle and frustration some meaning

• Examples– CEO wants £2m turnover company– Seeing the “big picture” on a construction site– Yours?


Teaching

• Lets assume we want to share our knowledge and skills– New member of the team–We’re coaching someone–We’ve giving a course

• If people don’t “get it” again it’s not their fault

• How many times do you get asked for a practical example?– The specialist Navigator that gets ignored


Values in Action

• Teach by example• Live your values• Can “value our people” balance

“more for less”?• Examples– Visible or hidden mistakes?– Yours


I Know What You’re Thinking!• People have already formed an

opinion of you before you open your mouth

• Surprise them!• Example– University lecturer and the umbrella


Hints and Tips

• If you always get “straight to the point”, are you ever the only one there?

• Be curious about other people’s stories, it makes you smarter

• “What you need to understand is…” will always alienate your listener

• Most people listen badly; “listening is waiting for my turn to talk!”

• Don’t aim for total influence, remember Midas


Exercise

“Share your Passion”


Communications Styles


Exercise

“Find your style”


DirectorStrengths• Fast paced, quick thinker• Focuses on action and results• Does what is necessary to

succeed• Easy to know where they

stand on issues• Can make decisions quickly• Takes responsibility• A natural leader• Superior at negotiations• High level of integrity• A visionary, big picture person• Highly creative

Weaknesses• Impatient with those working

too slowly• Lone ranger• Difficulty trusting others with

work• Poor listener, prefers only

bottom line• Can be judgemental• Need to be in control causes

frustration• Bottom-line approach cuts

people off• Tendency to dominate others• Relationships with Director

may be stressful


PresenterStrengths• Knows how to have fun• Always up, energetic• Communicates easily• Motivates others• An idea factory• Enjoys/prefers new

projects• Promoting is a gift• Thrives socially, is open to

others• Is not rigid• Is very intuitive, empathic

with people

Weaknesses• May not always be taken

seriously• Poor operational follow

through• Doesn’t like to solve problems• Gets bored easily• May over-promise and under-

deliver• Likes to be appreciated• Would rather talk than listen• May try to dominate team

meetings• Does not manage time well• May not manage finances well


MediatorStrengths• Interaction style is subtle,

gentle, indirect and inclusive• A good listener, “gets” others• Comes from expertise• Everyone loves the Mediator• Is the “Champion” of others• Predictably open and honest• Encourages others through

appreciation• Creative with lots of good

ideas• Good sense of humour

Weaknesses• May be difficult to get to

know, likes privacy• Focuses on people issues over

business progress• Does not like risk taking• Doesn’t like surprises• May give up progress for sake

of harmony• Working in support role may

keep them sidelined• Prefers routine over

spontaneity• Overly sensitive to criticism• May avoid centre stage• Can see both sides of an

issue, so decisions may not come easily


StrategistStrengths• Likes people, but not large

groups• Confident if facts are known• Likes to give advice• Very thorough• Fair and unbiased• Clear communicator• Will take calculated risks• Enjoys structure• Likes to think things through• Takes others’ input seriously• Careful decision maker• Very good follow-up and

follow-through

Weaknesses• Difficult to stop pursuing

prefection• Fear of mistakes creates time

consuming tasks• Difficulty making timely

decisions• Will take risks only after

knowing all facts• Tends to be critical• May over focus on operational

task oriented items• May approach situations from

the outside looking in• Worries a lot• Slow to action• Does not easily let go of past,

slow to embrace new• Leisure has to have a purpose


Hints and Tips

• This is VERY broad brush• This is NOT a judgement on

individuals• Use definitions and clues to find

preferred styles of others• Remember, people adopt different

styles to suit the context of the situation


And Finally………

• Practice–Practice• Practice– Practice» Practice

• Take baby steps• You will make mistakes, but they

don’t matterPlease contact me on Please contact me on [email protected], – I’ll be glad to hear from you, – I’ll be glad to hear from you

mailto:[email protected]

susan windsor - dont shoot the messenger

Software

politics science

people dont

return of favours

art of story

key principles reciprocation

policy people

communication styles

able share