Family’s Day Out: 5 Ways to SupportGood Behavior in Public Places

SUSIE ALMANEIH

A good place to start is at home. Dwelling on poor behavior discourageseveryone involved, so positive feedback several times a day is more

effective all around! This approach shows that you’re on the same team,and working together has better results, setting the stage to better carryout some recommended steps in guiding your child’s behavior while out

in public.

Consider the following elements:

1. Pre-gameBefore heading to that

restaurant or store, take aminute to discuss good choices

and bad choices. Be specificand relay with confidence that

you expect your kids, forexample, to stay next to your

cart and to use “inside voices.”Teach them and prep them

every time, and if you’re lucky,that’s all the help they’ll need.

2. Understand

what’s going onThe part of the brain that

helps control impulses andmanage emotion is not fully

developed in children.

So, when they enter Targetand are bombarded withlights and loud noises, of

course they have moretrouble managing theirbehavior than at home.

Understanding this givesyou more patience and

more realistic expectationsfor your children, and themore patient you are, the

better able you are tohandle their behaviors.

3. Preparation

is everything

You can decrease achild’s social anxiety inpublic settings by being

completely prepared.

Be sure to bring snacksand juice boxes, offer

opportunities toexplore a bit when in anunfamiliar setting, and

minimize the amount oftime the child must

spend in a crowded orconfined area. Also,

bring a favorite toy fora means of familiarity

and comfort.

4. Game plan

executionDon’t be caught off guard and let a

“quick trip” to the grocery store ruinyour day. Establish a routine system

for rewarding behavior in public.

A good example is taking raffle ticketsalong on your excursion. Children

earn a ticket each time you observegood behavior.

If rewarded liberally, children love itand they spend the whole trip working

to be good, and you escape without acrisis. There are lots of variations on

this system that will work; the point isthat you’re using positive

reinforcement again, rather thanspending the entire trip nagging them

for bad behavior.

Kids learn ways to get whatthey want, and some learn thattheir parents get immobilized

in public when they act up,which usually results in havinga big fit until parents give in, in

order to prevent utter publichumiliation. Unfortunately,

when that happens, the child isrewarded for having a fit in

public, and it is more likely tohappen again. Kids need to

know the rules, and that theyapply anywhere, so don’t be

afraid to enforce consequences,even while in public.

5. Always remember

who’s boss

A little preparation, a lotof positive reinforcement,

and a solid plan can andwill make a huge

difference in encouragingyour child’s good behaviorin public. This will lead tooutings becoming more of

the norm, and less anxiety-inducing for the child, andyou as well. There’s a goodchance you’ll never have tobe that parent receiving aglare from the restaurantguest at the neighboring

table after all.