7 Strategies to Help You and YourChild Deal with Separation Anxiety

Susie Almaneih

seeing your little ones’ faces crumple when you have to leave them with a caregiver,

especially when they are small. No one ever likes to cause his or her child distress, period.

It’s a terrible feeling,

For new parents of a first child, this

can be particularly difficult because

it’s hard for us to tell if this is normal.

And let’s face it; we don’t want to

leave our child either. To make matters

worse, we feel guilty leaving someone

else in charge of a tearful child.

Thankfully, separation anxiety is a

natural phase and there are lots of things

we can do it ease the discomfort of it.

Maintain a positive attitude and show them with your body language and voice that there is nothing to

worry about. Kids take their cues from their parents, and if you are distressed, that will make it worse.

Keep Yourself Cool.

It seems like a pain-free idea to slip out when they don’t notice, but that can really

make things escalate for them. The regular routine of saying goodbye and coming

back will show them that you are indeed, just running an errand or going to work

and you will return. However, don’t string the goodbye out longer than necessary.

Keep it short, but always say goodbye.

Having an activity to jump into right when you leave helps most kids to stop crying after a few

minutes. Another great idea is to have a favorite toy nearby. It’s comforting and familiar for them.

Create a goodbye ritual.

Make a photo album.Some parents have had success making a photo book with the familiar faces of

family that their little one can look at when he or she feels lonely. Babysitters also have

a cool trick with older kids: if children are missing a parent throughout the day, they can

dictate a letter or make some art for them that they can present upon the parent’s return.

Be patient with yourself. As you and your child become accustomed to periods of separation; it takes time and it’s

normal for feelings of guilt and anxiety to come up for you.

Make quality time really count.One of the ways you can help your children feel secure is by giving them your full attention when together.

Make time to bond, do something messy or silly, read, and cuddle so that they know you are present.

If you don’t see progress in the separation anxiety over several weeks, consider all factors:

is the caregiver a good fit for your child’s temperament? Is your schedule so full that

you don’t have quality time with your child? Be willing to ask some hard questions about

your set-up, and explore ways to change it up.

Because while separation anxiety is a normal part of development, it’s also not good for any

small child to go hours a day in distress, or for weeks at a time. For most kids, there are

tears for the first 10 minutes and then they recover and go back to playing. If this isn’t the

case, look for ways to make the situation more workable for everyone.

Separation anxiety is the

first step toward

independence and while it

is painful, it will also pass.

Kindness toward our kids

and ourselves is the best

thing we can do to get

through the difficult

patches, and one day, you

will actually miss the times

they were so attached to

you that they didn’t want to

let you go!