tive, and the city ofChristchurch, to create anatmosphere of welcome,lightness and relaxation.

We invite you to come, havefun and join in. Bring your-selves, your families, arts andcrafts, enterprise stories,music, dance, drama, writ-ing and song.

We are all so happy thatIbu Rahayu has acceptedour invitat ion to attend

this world congress.

For registration and all enquiries go toWorld Congress web site: www.subudworldcongress2010.com

PAGE 1

MAY 2009

Greetings from the World Congress Team

SUBUDVOICE®

SUBUDVOICE •

Dear Friends,

We look forward to seeing asmany of you as possible inChristchurch for the 13thSubud World Congress,January 4–18, 2010.

January i s SouthernHemisphere summer time andthe weather, (while notablychangeable) should be warmand comfortable. The usuallively mood of our city will betempered by the postChristmas lull and the number of localsaway on holiday themselves.

We hope, with the cooperation of theNew Zealand membership, theNational Committee, ISC/WSA execu-

INVITATION TO ARTISTS & PERFORMERSDear Brothers and Sisters,

The Events/Entertainment Committee of the CongressOrganizing Team (COT) extends the warmest welcome to allmembers hoping to attend the World Congress here inChristchurch in 2010. We especially wish to welcome allthose involved in the performing and visual arts.

For entertainment and the performing arts, includingdrama, music and dance there is a widerange of formal and informal venuesavailable for such events.

We are fortunate to havesecured the 2 high qualityspaces in the Town Hall; the1200 seat James Hay Theatreand the 2600 seat worldclass Auditorium which isChristchurch’s premier arena forvisiting international artists, andthe home of the ChristchurchSymphony Orchestra.

There are a number of smaller ven-ues such as the Salvation Army 400seat auditorium with excellentacoustic properties, the Caledonian Hall Stage and out-door venues, such as the amphitheatre behind the TownHall in Victoria Square.

For those brothers and sisters involved inthe visual and plastic arts we have

booked an attractive gallery in The ArtsCentre a short distance from the

Convention Centre complex and have sever-al display areas available in the Convention

Centre. There will be other galleries and display possibil-ities available.

A number of the smaller theatre-type venues are alsoequipped for film and audio-visualprogrammes.

In order for us to enable you, theartist, to carry out your creativeventure we need you to provide uswith your contact details, adescription of what you want todo and in what type of environ-ment you envisage your presen-tation.

Please send this informationas soon as possible to theCOT Events/EntertainmentSubcommittee at:

www.subudworldcongress2010.com

Select: Organising Team, Category: Performance andVisual Arts. Or by post to: Subud World Congress Office:Att: Events Subcommittee, 105 Bridle Path Rd. Heathcote Valley, Christchurch 8081,New Zealand

•

World Congress Events Organising TeamBack: Maya Bernardes, Samara Shionning and Marianne Kay

Front : Riduan Tomkins, Michael Chapman and Stephen Woodruff

Ibu Rahayuhas acceptedour invitationto attend this

World Congress

““

SUBUDVOICE PAGE 2 MAY 09

cont on p3 >

Take the opportunity to enjoy one of the most beautifultramps in New Zealand on the world famous MilfordSound…

Dates :19th to 25th of January 2010. Please note thatyou must inform the organisers of your wish to be part ofthis experience by the end of June 2009. See informationbelow.

TrampingIn New Zealand, we don’t walk, but we “tramp”. Since Ihave been in New Zealand, I have enjoyed many tramp-ing trips. Standing on the top of our mountains oftenbrings tears to my eyes and I think of how I would love oth-ers to enjoy the scenery that New Zealand has been gift-ed with.

The Milford Track – ‘The finest walk in the world’Often described as the “Finest Walk in the World”, a 55kmmoderate tramp, with up to 7 hours walking on some of thedays. The track starts at the head of Lake Te Anau, followsthe Clinton Valley over Mackinnon Pass (1,100m) and thendown the Arthur River to Milford Sound. The landscape isabsolutely stunning.

Tramping the track takes 3-4 days and the whole trip willtake 7 days including transport from Christchurch. The tripwill commence directly after the world congress on the19th of January 2010. After completing the Milford track,you will finish with a boat trip to enjoy the majestic MilfordSound itself.

"Independent Walking" is a low cost "no frills" way of tramp-ing, (compared to the much more expensive commercialguided trips). Independent walkers carry all their own

And save on costs…

There are a limited number of volunteer positions. Pleaseapply early if you are interested.

The first two positions listed here (Equipment Coordinatorand Room Allocation Person) are STAFF VOLUNTEER posi-tions with meal, accommodation allowance and registra-tion fee waived.

The other positions are for EXCHANGE VOLUNTEERS involving fourhours work a day and registration fee waived.

Equipment Coordinator Will be needed before the con-gress. The exact arrival time is to be determined.Responsible for Computer, Sound and Projection equip-ment. You will have a team to work with.

Room Allocation Coordinator Arrive one week in advance.Liaise with Workshop Coordinator and WSA Executive (ISC)re program. Provide latest room allocation info (viascreens). Also liaise with Equipment Coordinator and inter-act with data-base. This role requires working with Workshop coordinator inadvance via internet.

Concession Sales Manager Coordinate points of saleand layout. Implement the system (i.e. Central TicketPurchase) to ensure cash control from concessions andpeople selling items at Congress. This person will workclosely with the COT designated cash control person.

On-site Registration Supervisor Arrive one week inadvance to be trained in computer registration system,and then train others. Quick thinking person, diplomatictrouble-shooter who will access translators. Busy first twodays of Congress and then a few daily registrations.Ideally someone who has already done this type of workand who can help COT immediately in establishing thecheck-in, registration process.

Stage Managers Must be cluey about sound, lighting andall aspects of stage management. Will need to work withboth Congress technicians and venue technicians.

Site Managers Four different areas at Congress will needfour site managers. You will need to open and close thevenue, supervise cleaning. Be available (by mobile) fortrouble-shooting.

Catering Managers COT would like to hear from peoplewith an interest in managing a catering outlet (sandwich-es, snacks, ice-creams, drinks, simple meals) This may beopen to another form of exchange depending on howinterested persons may want to take this on. Where alco-hol is served strict laws apply and must be respected.Catering Assistants General kitchen help, baristas etc.

Bouncers Required for alcohol outlet to keep an eye onthings and see that no-one under age or already inebri-ated is drinking alcohol. (There will only be one place sell-ing light alcohol and only in the evenings.)

Volunteers with various skills (for miscellaneous assign-ments) including welcoming and hospitality, technicallyminded, First Aid certification, child care, languages,cleaning, etc.

Volunteer at World Congress To apply for these positions for enquiries, please contact:Volunteer Coordinator, 105 Bridle Path Rd. HeathcoteValley, Christchurch, NZ

Tramping the Milford Track•

Spectacular scenery of the Milford Sound Tramp

PAGE 3SUBUDVOICE MAY 09

cont on p4 >

•

equipment, clothing, sleeping bag, food (supplied), etcand share the domestic chores.

The trip is suitable for people of a wide age group, provid-ed you are healthy and can carry a pack of about 12-13kg for 3 or 4 days over some rocky surfaces with a fewstiff climbs and descents. Generally we do not recom-mend that children under 13 years of age participate,though this can depend on the individual. One needs tohave access to suitable tramping equipment, we will sup-ply a list in advance and you can either bring it yourself orhire the equipment in Christchurch.

As the Milford Track has a booking system, we would liketo ask you to express an interest as soon as possible to seehow many members would like to do this tramp. The priceis not yet fixed, but will be around NZ$900 and you willreceive details on request.

PLACES ARE LIMITED AND WILL BE MADE AVAILABLE ON A“FIRST COME FIRST SERVED” BASIS. AS THERE IS A HUGEDEMAND FOR THE MILFORD TRACK AND WE MUST BOOKTHE TRACK IN JULY WE ASK YOU TO MAKE A COMMITMENTBY THE END OF JUNE.

Please contact us as soon as possible by e-mail transporta-tion@subudworldcongress2010.com if you are interestedand we will send you further details.

Subsidised Cost: If you believe you can assist with thelogistics of this tramp or are an experienced tramper andwould like to offer a “low key” leadership role, we will sub-sidise your trip costs or offer you the tramping costs for nocharge depending on the assistance you will offer andthe commitment you are willing to make.

Thank you for your interest and we look forward to tramp-ing with you! Arif Matthee

Stop Press: A More Leisurely Experience. We are also looking toorganise a trip between 19th and 25th of January toQueenstown combined with a trip to the Milford Sound for themore leisurely inclined. If you are interested in this, please let usknow at the email above.

ART AUCTIONBrianna Bryson-Haynes, currently living in the UK, hascome up with an exciting idea to raise money for youthtravel to world congress…Recently I have been inspired to help raise money for theinternational youth travelfund to help the youth getto world congress in NewZealand. In order toachieve this I’m running anonline art auction with thehelp of my brotherImmanuel, who has just fin-ished building the web site.It’s now up andrunning! To register,simply go to: www.subudart i s t s .comand click on the tab thatsays Artists and then on theregister as an artist buttonon the right hand side.After completing the regis-tration form you will becontacted soon after byemail with your logininstructions and password.

When uploading artworkplease include the size of your image and what

++ news in br ief ++

Howling at the Moon by MarcusBolt.. One of the works available in

the art auction . Bid now!

•

We’re looking for fifteen young Subud mem-bers from around the world with big ideas

All you need is a big idea for a Subud wing project.

We will run six morning workshops during Congress to helpyou develop your idea so that you are ready to launch itin your own country when you return home.

We also intend to have a lot of fun, and to put on a per-formance at Congress…..and right after Congress therewill be a four-day camp at Akaroa to finish off our work (....and have a bit more fun).

“Quest at Congress” will be facilitated by YES Quest facil-itators, assisted by advisors from the Subud wings.

Will there be financial support?Yes, financial support will be available in three ways:• The four-day camp will be free.• We will assist participants to apply for travel subsidies allo-

cated to the Quest from the International Youth Travel Fund.• We are raising money for additional subsidies for thoseneeding extra assistance.

What sort of project idea can I choose to develop?The key factor is that you want to do something forSubud, which is a good fit with your talents and abilities.Perhaps you would be good at organising cultural orfund-raising events. Or maybe you can see the need fora web-site or newsletter which you would like to develop.Your project could be organising a big youth event foryour country or Zone, starting a business, or simplybecoming a wing rep for your country.

Better still if it’s a really new idea and it’s yours!

How do I get selected for this Quest?Write down in two or three hundred words, a little aboutyourself and your ambitions, your project idea, why youwant to join this Quest and how you think you will benefit.

We will send successful applicants information on how toapply for Travel Fund and other grants. Please understandthat most financial help will probably be directed to thosefrom poorer countries.

Mark you email entries, “Quest at Congress” and email topeterjenkins4@gmail.com

Only fifteen places are available, so send in you applica-tion soon. Peter Jenkinspeterjenkins4@gmail.com

Quest at World Congress

medium has been used in the description field. The papersize should ideally be between A4-A1 and needs to behigh quality, though any size is possible.

The Auction will run from the 1st of May to the 22nd of June(Bapak’s birthday). As from April people will be able toregister as bidders.

On the completion of the auction the artist will be con-tacted with instructions to post the work to the winningbidder (this is much the same as e-bay). Postage and, ifnecessary, insurance will be reimbursed to the Artist.

After the auction is over the site will remain and functionas a place for any Subud artist to promote themselvesand their artwork online for free.

If you need any help registering please contactImmanuel or myself at subudart@gmail.com or on07891707493 (United Kingdom).

VOLUNTEERS WITHOUT TEARS DEADLINE EXTENDEDAlexandra Woodward writes…In order to accommodate requests, we will be accept-ing applications for the summer volunteer workingcamp in Amanecer on a rolling basis until Saturday,April 4, 2009. To reiterate, it will be a 4-week long camp,from June 12 to July 12, whose purpose is to assist aSusila Dharma project by building classrooms, cuttingpathways, and teaching children at FundacionAmanecer.

There will also be a strong kejiwaan component, as well ascultural immersion and weekend excursions. More informa-tion on the camp is available at:http://blog.susiladharma.org/2009/02/23/colombia-work-retreat-help-it-be-a-success Financial assistancemay be available on a case-by-case basis. Please directany inquiries to alexandra.woodward@gmail.com

ROZAK’S BOOK AVAILABLEIlaina Lennard writes about Subud: A Spiritual Journey byRozak Tatebe…This is an extraordinary book. I edited and proofread it,and each time I went through it again, I never tired. It isnow available on AMAZON and the easiest way to locateit is to enter Rozak Tatebe, and then it comes up. Here isa sample of its introduction: "This is not an autobiography.It is the story of how, through a sudden, extraordinaryexperience, I came to know the existence of theSupreme Being, the Creator of the Universe.

"..This is a record of the unpredictable trials and eventsthat unfolded through my encounter with a spiritualtraining. Many of these stories will appear outside therealm of common sense. But everything that happenedwas real. And each incident has been recounted exact-ly as it happened."

HADANI’S BOOK AVAILABLEHadani Ditmars writes…I'd like to share my new website link with the Subudworld and announce that members can now buyboth my books – Dancing in the No Fly Zone: aWoman's Journey Through Iraq and my latest, TheVancouver Wallpaper City Guide (a national designguide published by Phaidon and supervised byWallpaper magazine) – via paypal at:www.hadaniditmars.com

PAGE 4 SUBUDVOICE MAY 09

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Kalimantan: One Basic TruthThe global financial crisis has had a big impact onKalimantan Gold Corporation. The company is in survivalmode and has had to cut running costs and lay off staff.This series of emails gleaned from the SES InternationalListserver gives a picture of the current situation, both thegloom and the hope, both the material and the spiritualaspects.A Report from KGC CEO Rahman Connelly…Renata Peek, Asian Zone Co-ordinator, wonders aboutthe money from the sale of S. Widjojo…Kalimantan pioneer, Mansur Geiger, sets out some of therealities of mining and also explains why KGC has goneinto coal and gold in East Kalimantan…Finally, a report from Reuter’s about KGC’s coalprospects…

FROM RAHMAN CONNELLY, CEO KALIMANTAN GOLDWe would like to bring you up to date on the latest devel-opments with KGC, the mineral exploration company inKalimantan.On the 13th of March, the directors decided to take the fol-lowing actions in order to move things forward:1. Raise US$ 500,000 in a new offering to the public 2.Convert as much debt as possible to shares in KGC; 3. Further cut running costs drastically.

Negotiations are continuing with potential partners inrelation to two coal prospects in East Kalimantan, one ofwhich is close to completion.

You are invited to invest in the current share purchaseoffering. And as an alternative, we invite you to supportour community development foundation, YayasanTambuhak Sinta, which we have not been able to fundsince October 2008.

If you would like to find out more about these options,contact us at one of the addresses below.

If you are unable to provide material support, your bestwishes and prayers are equally welcome.Rahman Connelly, rconnelly@ozemail.com.auMansur Geiger, mansurgeiger@hotmail.comBardolf Paul, bardolfpaul@gmail.com

FROM RENATA PEEK, ASIAN ZONE CO-ORDINATORNot all the money (from the sale of S Widjojo) has beendistributed to individual shareholders. Some shares wereowned by WSA on behalf of all members, past as well aspresent. There was some hope expressed that a newenterprise could be started with that money, but no newenterprise has appeared yet.

I don’t believe it is the Executive’s place to persuademembers to invest in a risky project either. However I stillremember the powerful receiving about how it was forthe people running the projects in Kalimantan if the mem-bers prayed for and supported the projects inKalimantan, we tested that in Ascot.

Maybe I have it wrong but I was under the impression thatthe mining company had been supporting the livelihoodsof 100 people working in the field and that the projectalso supported the school and the villages planning proj-ect and also to some extent Rungan Sari.

•

PAGE 5SUBUDVOICE MAY 09

immensely difficult both physically and men-tally. I'd like to put in perspective our 28 years effortmade on the mineral exploration project, asunderstandably this is a question for manypeople, ie “why so long”?Until 2 years ago the focus has been the KSKcontract of work in Central Kalimantan, ieBapak’s thumb which contains huge coppergold porphyry mineral deposits. Exploration ofthese types of deposits is extremely expensive.It normally requires somewhere between $60to 200 million to complete a feasibility study,

and then somewhere between $2 to $5 BILLION to devel-op.

The time required to do this, ie from discovery to develop-ment, is normally between 40 to 80 years. As an exampleFreeport, Indonesia’s largest mining company took 44years from discovery to production. Today or before thecrash, Freeport had in ground assets of approx $150 billiondollars and a remaining mine life of 80 years.

The mine has already been operating for 30 years andhas already extracted an enormous wealth. Bapak cer-tainly was not messing around when he put his thumb onthe map and understood how such a deposit couldunderwrite the development of a region.

Two weeks before the crash, Freeport were very eager topursue an agreement with KGC and they certainly havethe deep pockets, technical expertise and experience inIndonesia, to do what is necessary to finally prove or dis-prove the economic viability of the several copper goldporphyry deposits KGC and we the predecessors haveidentified to date.

Timing as it was , the crash saw Freeport’s share price dropfrom $150 to $25 in 1 month along with cop-per from $8000 to $ 3000 per ton.. Freeportand the entire industry stopped all new proj-ects world wide.

Our 28 years and a total expenditure inexploration, of $17m of which about $4mhas come from Subud investments prior tothe formation of KGC, puts us pretty well ontrack. Fortunately the government hasagreed to place this contract of work intosuspension, so it will not go away, God will-ing and provided we are able to weatherthe storm.

Why East Kalimantan?Why the move to East Kalimantan?Itbecame very clear that ongoing funding of

budgets required to continue exploring these monstercopper deposits without a partner was not possible, asproduction is still at least 7 years away and KGC obvious-ly needed to generate a cash flow to prevent the dilutionresulting from continuous fund raisings .

We researched exploration data from all over Kalimantanand found an already identified gold prospect, wherethe previous owner had spent $35 m in exploration andwhich we were able to purchase for $40,000.

A small gold deposit takes between 5 to 7 years to placeinto production, at a cost of somewhere

A number of vital educational initiatives have arisen out of the time and money investedalready. I hope that it can go on and growstronger. At the end of the day it is not justabout finding gold or copper or coal butabout the development of a country in agood and sustainable way.

MANSUR GEIGER, KALIMANTAN PIONEER,RESPONDS…I’m attaching Ibu’s recent question andanswer session (included in this issue of SubudVoice in full beginning on page 6). It certainlytouches deeply on the issues we face, especially the oneon Subud losing its assets.

You have pointed out nicely that it’s certainly not simplyall about the gold, it’s about the development, as Bapakput it, and “the mining would simply be a motor for other(usaha) effort”.

The mining, which is the wrong term by the way as we arenot yet mining, has already facilitated many things, theBCU School, YTS and allowed many people to have liveli-hoods, it has developed a vast network in both the miningindustry and community development world and has avery good reputation.

So here we stand at the 11th hour in a very grim financialworld. There is enormous potential but we are strugglingto stay alive. I know everyone is facing hardships to somedegree. I know many people are tired of the old story andyet we must ask where is Subud going?

I guess the reason many people were against the sale ofS Widjojo was the fear that people would simply take themoney and run. It is understandable after so many yearsthat people want to do something with their returns, andthus the new car, a diamond, a trip toEurope, some health care, benefits for thefamily and at the end of that a donation toa few good feeling charities equals moneygone and nothing for the future.

Aside from Ibu’s wonderful words of wis-dom, there is Bapak’s 1981guidance aboutworking in Kalimantan: “What we face inthese projects is a very great task. Bapaktells you that the main requirement, theabsolute condition we need to completethis task, is that we truly know how to worktogether, how to cooperate, how to trusteach other, respect each other and thatwe really know how to give and take.Neither must we allow ourselves to befooled by any kind of mistrust or prejudicebetween one group and another, or between onenationality and another. The key to achieving anything isharmony, the ability to work together and to do some-thing as a team.” [81 JKT 1]

The Living RealityI have had the great good fortune to experience the liv-ing reality of this..

In what I call my magic carpet ride, when there was har-mony, positive support and input, the most difficult of situ-ations simply resolved themselves with no effort. I havealso experienced the opposite when everything becomes

So here wesit at the

eleventh hourafter 28years...

“

“

cont on p6>

Mansur Geiger and friend

PAGE 6 SUBUDVOICE MAY 09

•

between $60m and $400m in Indonesia. Thefeasibility phase may cost $15 to $40mdepending on the size and complexity of thedeposit. With our recent announcement of100,000 ounces, worth approx $90 million inthe ground and after just 18 months work, at acost of approx $1.5 mil, we're well ahead ofthe average. Presently we are in discussionswith 2 companies who are interested in joiningus to develop this project. However, it’s still anumber of years and substantial investmentaway from a cash flow. That is why coal. It'squick and cheap to explore and to place intoproduction, requires relatively small capital, it’s in hugedemand and can produce positive cash flows within ashort time frame.

Our coal team over the past year has evaluated morethan 50 projects in search of a suitable one for KGC. Thishas not been an easy task in the local environment. Wehave spent approx $400,000 doing this work and are nowfocused on 2 projects ranging in size and quality that canbe placed into production within months.

We just completed 4000m of drilling on one of these proj-ects and defined approx 120 million tons of coal worthapprox $45 ton = $5.4 billion. This deposit will take approx 25years to mine. We are presently in final negotiations withthe long term end user off this coal.

The 11th Hour: Attempting to SurviveWe have laid off 100 employees from the gold project inan attempt to survive; this is never an easy thing particu-larly in this country. Fortunately they have been extraordi-narily understanding and offered their prayers that we willbe up and running again in a few months.

Most of these guys who we have trained in various explorationskills over the past 18 months are able to return to their tradition-al farm plots that will at least provide them a meal. They arepossibly better off than the millions of city dwellers all over theworld who will be facing retrenchment over the next year.

So here we sit at the 11th hour after 28 years, with so muchopportunity at hand but with an empty pocket. We have sev-eral coal end users wanting to purchase the production and abank willing to fund the coal projects once they are fullydefined to an international standard.

A relatively small amount is needed to do this, but todayeven small is difficult. A few Subud members have yetagain come to the call in December and we truly thankyou for this. The director’s senior management and advi-sors have not received salaries and fees over the pastseveral months.

We now face the possibility of having to wind up KGC,the public company, and will need to look at ways of pro-tecting the shareholders and retaining all our valuableassets – the concession areas and our social develop-ment foundation, YTS – within this complex situation.

Life has changed much in Kalimantan since we first setout to follow Bapak’s vision 28 years ago. There is onebasic truth I have learned from this journey. The latihan isthe latihan of life; it’s about doing, being alive and mak-ing the effort. We are meant to make effort and moveand pray that God will fill our movement with His Will.

In a subsequent posting, Mansur added…Here is a note out on Reuters today after I pre-sented at the Canadian mining mission toIndonesia’s gathering yesterday. A strangefeeling for me presenting to this high levelgroup, our standout, clear and obvious mas-sive potential, knowing we are on the edge.However we're not too much different tomany other companies at this time..

Things are moving at amazing pace right now , soyour prayers are very much appreciated, and arevery much an asset to what we hope to achieve.

FROM REUTERSJAKARTA, March 16 (Reuters) – Canadian mining firmKalimantan Gold Corp. is in talks with an Indian powerplant on equity participation and a supply deal in a coalproject in Indonesia's East Kalimantan, a company officialsaid on Monday.

Kalimantan Gold (KLG.V), a junior mining firm listed onCanada's TSX Venture Exchange and the AIM Exchange,said in November last year it had signed an option with alocal firm PT Indobara Pratama to bring its coal depositsinto production and acquire up to an 80 percent stake.The firm has an exclusive 90-day option on due diligenceas well as for a drilling programme during this period,Kalimantan Gold said in its statement.

PT Indobara owns a coal mine in East Kalimantan whichhas potential deposits of between 55-60 million tonnes of5,400 kcal/kg of coal, Kalimantan Gold said in December."We are inviting them (the Indian power firm) because forthis type of coal you need long term and certainty. It's notthe type of coal you can sell for spot market," said MansurGeiger, Kalimantan Gold's vice president for exploration."They will own shares and they will be responsible for thecoal off-take," Geiger told reporters, adding the mine isexpected to start commercial production in September.(Reporting by Fitri Wulandari; Editing by Ed Davies)

The latihan is thelatihan of life; it’s

about doing,being alive and

making theeffort...

“

“

A BOOK ABOUT BAPAK Emmanuel Williams writes…For many months, I've been collecting members' storiesof their experiences of Bapak. The project has becomea source of wonder and joy to me; many of the storiesare extraordinary, and point to a man who seemed –and seems – to live in and move between many dimen-sions.

At the time of writing, stories from over 150 Subudmembers have reached me.

These stories are funny, touching, poignant and awe-inspiring. What they've shown me of Bapak has aston-ished me and greatly deepened my commitment tothe latihan. I'm certain that these stories should bemade available to younger and future generationswho never met Bapak in the flesh.

I need just $4000 more to finish the job – that is, to pro-duce a book worthy of its contents. If you feel movedto contribute, please send a check earmarked "SICABapak Stories Project" to the Subud USA NationalOffice. Doesn't have to be a lot – $20, $50.

If you have questions, or if you'd like regular updateson how the project's going, or a sampling of the sto-ries, please send your email address to: emmanuelriddlemaker@gmail.com •

Develop YourselfThe fact is that if you are a helper, you have a lot of workto do. Why so much? On top of serving the members, youhave to develop your self. We should not stop doing lati-han because we get so absorbed in other matters thatwe end up harming ourselves. But it is also wrong if ahelper is not completely dedicated to their work, anddoes not do it with an attitude of surrender and accept-ance. That is because your work impacts other people.

This is why there is no such thing as a congress on the spir-itual aspects. We can just hold gatherings, or exchangeviews or share experiences. The reason for that is that no-one is able to make other people make progress. But asa helper, as I said, you must work sincerely with an atti-tude of acceptance, and surrender. You cannot callyourself a helper if you do not do helper work.

Here is an example of that work. When you do latihanwith the members, do you ever ask God to bestow God'sgrace on the members, on other Subud members? I donot think any of you do. You just feel, ‘Oh, I do latihan formyself.’ But as you bear the responsibility of a helper,when you do latihan ask God to bless the Subud memberswho are doing latihan with you so that they will be pro-tected, or be given good health, or receive God's grace.You really need to do that. Why? God is watching you.

If you say you are a helper, to whom do you report in yourwork? Well, if you are a helper, in everything you do youare supposed to report to yourself. The reason for that isthat you are the one who can feel the power of God; youknow what it feels like when one is close to Almighty God.So in this work you do not report to another person, youreport to God.

This is why it is vital for us to do latihan together. And thehelpers are there to generate an atmosphere in the lati-han that the other members can feel. This is why we dolatihan together. So, if a helper comes to latihan feelingangry or upset about something, they will not generate agood atmosphere. On the contrary, they generate anunpleasant atmosphere for the members. God knows all this.

This is the point I am making when I say that helpers donot account to Bapak anymore, or to the helpers’dewan, no. It is your responsibility, because you will be theone who has to face God; it will be you and God. Manyof you have been asking, now that Bapak is not with us,who are the helpers responsible to? Well, the responsibili-ty is not Bapak’s; the responsibility is yours because it isyour duty.

Well, you can rearrange the structure any way you want,because there are no penalties in Subud. Well, the onewho will penalise you will be God, later that is, later whenyou are not here anymore. But when you get over there,it will be too late. We have to put things right and dothings right while we are still here. Because once you getover there, you cannot think through what is right andwhat is wrong. When it comes to thinking, you have nothoughts; your mind does not work anymore. All you cando there is surrender to the will of God.

So never say that our life in this world is pointless. For surethere is a point. We should in fact be thankful that we stillhave a chance to improve ourselves and to elevate our-selves. If we do not elevate our own selves, who will?Nobody else can do it for us. Other people have

PAGE 7SUBUDVOICE

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MAY 09

IBU RAHAYU’S ANSWERS TOQUESTIONSFrom the Indonesian National Pre-Congress Gathering,Wisma Subud, Cilandak 14th December, 2008 RECORDING 08 CDK 6Final Translation by Raymond Lee

Copyright 2009 World Subud AssociationCopyright (c) 2008 the World Subud Association. All rights reserved.

Authorized Translation For Subud Members Only This talk was given for people practising the spiritual exercise known as theSubud Latihan. For those not practising this exercise, reading the followingtalk is not recommended as it could be misunderstood.

Good morning and welcome to all of you who havecome from out of town and are attending this pre-Congress meeting? Is it over? Not yet? Oh, nearly. Thereare many people from Kalimantan, right? I see Isti there,and there’s Busye.

What is this meeting with me about? Is this a get-togeth-er? What kind of get-together? [Laughter.] Are we here tochat, or to whisper? We can do that if you want. Are wehere to get to know one another? [Ibu laughs.] If we aresupposed to get to know one another, I know most ofyou. Yes, I know nearly everyone here.

Well, let me say a few words before the question andanswer session. This is meant for those of you from out oftown who do not often get a chance to meet with theother members of the kejiwaan council. So if there is any-thing that you want to know, please ask me. But to startwith, I will give a... Look, this is not going to be a talk. If Igive you a talk, the people who are not here will getupset with me. Let us just say this is a get-together.

Well, for sure, I am not going to talk about anything otherthan Subud. But, of course, when we hold a congress it isdifferent – a Subud congress is not like a normal congress.Yes, we can say our congress will deal with organisation-al matters. But on the spiritual side, there is no such thingas a spiritual congress. What would we discuss at a congress?

When we hold a congress, we are not there to discuss oursouls or spiritual matters, but to discuss people, just peoplein the outer sense. The congress is about people whohave their respective duties to do on this spiritual path.Why can’t we discuss the spiritual? When it comes to thespiritual, what would we discuss at a congress? In latihanwe just receive, don’t we?

Well, if we need to ask something, it is good if the helperscan provide the answer. But sometimes people do notjust need the answers; they need the reality [of this path].How will any of you give them that reality, if you yourselfcannot demonstrate that reality to others yet? So, wehave to leave that to God’s will. Therefore, at this [pre-congress meeting] you really only need to deal withorganisational issues. And this organisation exists to servethe needs of people who do latihan.

Ibu Rahayu

Talk

Ibu’s presence in the midst of our tiredness – our tirednessfrom thinking. Now I feel a difference – even though Istand before professors and lecturers, Pak Haryono, andInternational Helpers – but speaking to Ibu in this forummakes me tremble. Forgive me. There is one question thatis troubling me. I don’t know if Ibu will be willing to answerthis or not, but at least I will have asked it. Lately I haveheard and seen many things about the wealth of Subud,its assets. Well, lately it seems to me that we are going to

lose everything, S Widjojo and other assets. Iam not here to ask why, but I want to ask:Where are we heading? Are we going tolose all Subud assets? For me they areBapak’s assets? Will the only thing we haveleft from Bapak – which God willing will behere till the end of the world – be the lati-han? Can Ibu give some advice, and per-haps words of comfort? Should we worry?Thank you.

Ibu: With regard to Subud assets, the fact iswe did not get those assets through ourdoing, or because they were ours. Well,through God’s grace at the time, Bapak wasconstantly blessed. But Bapak rememberedthat Subud was Bapak, so if Bapak did not

make something, what would become of Subud? Whatwould be given to Subud? What would there be to showBapak’s children and everyone else?

And when it comes to keeping those assets or losingthem, it is not the fault of the assets, but the people con-cerned. The people concerned needed to settle thingsdue to circumstances. Well, I cannot say if this was wrongor not. In some cases, this was due to circumstances...well, circumstances led to this. We could not control it.Well, if possible, as we are carrying on Bapak’s work, justbecause there is an asset, it does not mean we have toget rid of it. But if possible, we should add to it.

As for whether we should have kept those assets or not, Icannot say whether it was right or not. As I said, it wasdetermined by circumstances and needs. For instance,the assets that we used to have, have been sold becauseof various interests, such as, that the [money] could beused in a better way or would be of greater benefit toSubud members. So, I cannot tell you whether we shouldhave kept those assets or not. We have to see the situa-tion and leave it to the will of Almighty God.

What is important is not an asset of high value,. When itcomes to that asset, the one that you have inside you iswhat you have to demonstrate before the power ofAlmighty God. So a material asset is just a companion, itis what is important is the asset which each of you hasinside something that we can see, something that manypeople can witness. You can lose a [material] asset, butthe asset that is inside you will keep growing. When I saythat it will keep growing, do not think, ‘Oh, leave that toGod.’ No. It all takes effort, an effort as an individual.

But what is the asset that we have inside us? It isyour value as an individual whom other people canrespect. You are valued by people who are not inSubud because what you say and what you do reflectsyour inner worth.

I think that is enough about assets, so we do not need toworry, ‘Oh that’s been sold, and that’s gone!’

to worry about developing their own selves.

The Family WayThat is why, brothers and sisters, I cannot say much,because my job is simply in the spiritual. If you ask me totell you stories, I cannot. So I am only giving you an expla-nation about congress. A Subud congress is not like a cor-porate congress or a congress of any other spiritualmovement. But I ask you – this goes for all of you – asBapak always advised us, in our discussions,in our gatherings, in our meetings, we shouldget along and work in a family way. Even ifwe have different opinions, we all containand are guided by the same spiritual knowl-edge.

Even though we are not related by blood,but in olden times, if we had been in thesame spiritual school, the bond betweenpeople of the same school was tighter thansiblings. You will find this out later – well, it ismy experience.... [Ibu laughs.] Fancy that,we meet up with other Subud people overthere. So do not say, ‘Who cares, after allSubud is only for this world.’

It is not. Over there they have latihans too. So if we canmeet, we will meet each other again, ‘How come every-one here is in Subud?’ In other words, all these memberswill still be together there. Well, we will witness that whenwe leave here. In other words, I cannot promise you thatwe will meet there, that you will meet other Subud peoplein the next world.

Well, it is probably time to hand over the discussion toanyone who wants to know or to ask anything. As you arepioneers in Subud, if you get asked a question by some-one outside Subud, you have to be able to answer it. Andwhen you answer, you really have to know what Subud is.

Do not get into a situation where one explains it one wayand another explains it another way, and we have no ref-erence point. What do I mean by a reference point? Well,read Bapak talks. If you cannot receive for yourself, readBapak’s talks. Everything is explained in Bapak’s talks. Ifyou cannot understand the talks and feel them, you canread them over and over again.

Thank you – and if I cannot answer a question, I ask theother ladies and gentlemen to help out. I am old now, soI sometimes forget what I just said. After a few hours, Ihave forgotten.

So I hope that you younger members will get more active,so that we adapt to changing times and needs. Manypeople are taking a critical look at Subud now. How doesit look if we trip over ourselves in a heap on the groundwithout a reference point, we cannot get along, and wehave no firm foundation?

Thank you. Who wants to start? But let me say the ques-tions should not be about marriage, problems betweenhusbands and wives, or illnesses. Gosh, if you’re sick, that’sfor a doctor, not for us. If you have no money, that is aproblem. If you’re jobless, that’s not something for Subudto solve, it is your problem.

Question: Thank you. Of course, I cannot speak for every-one else, but I am sure we all feel blessed and graced by

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MAY 09

What isimportant is

the assetwhich each of you has

inside

“

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them, go ahead, because this is the kind of help thatyoung people really need now. Just now, I said that truth is in the hands of God. So whydo we do testing? Well, it can be a way to check our-selves. Sometimes when we test, ‘Oh, how come Ireceived that?’ There is no sense of doubt, none. It meansthat what guided you was free of your desires. But as Isaid, truth is in the hands of God. Do not get the idea,“Oh, my testing is guaranteed to be right.” Do not think

like that.

And why do we need to get used to testingor practice it? Well, the helpers really need touse testing when we are faced with a ques-tion that is beyond our capacity to answer,and yet the person asking the question needsyour help. In that case, you can use testing.But tell the person concerned, ‘I am willing totest, but whether the result turns out to beright or wrong is in the hands of AlmightyGod.’

There are different types of testing, not justone. There is the kind of testing which I giveyou from time to time. Its purpose is to checkyour progress and to help develop, to stimu-

late, the life of the soul, so that the soul... well if it is alive,it will respond to the test.

As for whether you need to test when you are about toeat something, or you are about to drink something, oryou are about to go out? You do not need to. If you canfeel the latihan active in you, then you will get an indica-tion without testing – you will feel heavy. There is no needto test. Or something prevents you going ahead. That iswhy if someone asks me to test something, I say, ‘Oh, Idon’t need to test. I never test things like that.’ Truly!

Those are my comments on testing. We need to test, butit is bad to make it a habit.

Does anyone from out of town have a question? No?Well, if you know everything now, that’s wonderful. It isfine. Indeed, by reading Bapak talks we can be betterprepared.

Question: Thank you. May I ask a question? As a helper,I get confused when I have to deal with the members,particularly if the member is a helper. This is the story.There is a member, who is a helper, who said that hereceived; during his latihan he received that he has toget married again. In fact, his first wife is a helper too,and she is active, both of them are active. Well, as alady helper, I did not know how to deal with this. Basedon my own feeling, I advised him that it would be bestnot to do this. But he got angry and insisted that he hadreceived this in latihan. There was nothing more I couldsay. We cannot contradict someone’s receiving in thelatihan, as far as I know. So first question, what shouldwe do when someone says they received something inthe latihan? And secondly, what should we do if it is notGod’s will? We cannot oppose this kind of thing. I amconfused. Please forgive me; can Ibu give me ananswer? Thank you.

Ibu: Well, it is very easy for people to say they havereceived something, that they have received this or that.But we also have our common sense, and an attitude ofleaving it to God. So, in facing this kind of

If you think like that, you will lose faith in Subud, you willnot have faith in the will of God, and that will lower yourvalue as an individual. Is that all? Are there any morequestions?

Question: Thank you, Ibu. I am from Surabaya, I have onelittle question which may help us at every step. I have onequestion about testing, Ibu. I see here, I don’t mean at thismeeting, but in general, the trend today is that when wetake decisions, even on worldly matters, weseem to think that because we are in Subudwe have to test everything. That is not myunderstanding. Testing should not be donetoo often, especially testing about worldlyaffairs. I would like a clarification from Ibu sothat we do not get this wrong. Thank you.

Ibu: Well, first I will tell you about or explaintesting. Testing is an attempt to approachthe truth. Why do I say ‘approach’? Truth isin the hands of God. Second, every individ-ual is different – for some the life of their soulcan now envelop their whole being, andthey can be free from the desires that oper-ate inside them. Of course, it is impossible forsomeone to be totally clean, because welive in this world we still need help from the low forces.

This is especially true when we test something whichaffects one’s self-interest or when we have something atstake. It is as if the forces inside us argue with each other.One goes, ‘Oh, this is right!’ ‘That is right!’ There are manyof them inside you, you know; they hold a meeting too. Soit is hard to get agreement.

That is why I said earlier that we need to surrender. To sur-render means that if the testing turns out to be right,praise God. But if it is not, well, that’s it; we are lacking. Wedo not need to try to blame this or that.

And sometimes you feel apprehensive when a lotdepends on the outcome of the test. Well, you are notthe only ones. I do too, now. I was better able to do itbefore, but it is different now that I am old. That is thereason I am not willing to test when I get asked, partic-ularly by young people, ‘What is my talent, Ibu? Whatkind of work should I do?’ Well, people probably thinkthat if they ask me that, I see the answer as if it were onTV; perhaps they think that.

It is not so. I have to uncover something; I have to searchfor something. But now that I am old, why is it hard to do?So it is better for me to [refuse to test] rather than to tellthe person something but it is turns out not to be right ordoes not make them happy. I would make a mistake –instead of helping them, I would be sending them on thewrong path.

That is why I do not want to answer questions like thatanymore. But in fact, many young people want to know– today young people are not like they used to be. In thepast, they were willing to take a risk or felt they couldmake up their own mind.

But it is hard for young people today. They say they do notknow what to do, they do not know which direction totake. Well, this is also a concern or is a job for helpers.Well, I tell them, ‘I’m old now, I cannot help. Go ask thehelpers who are young and capable.’ So, if you can help

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So, one’s

circumstances

improve as one’s

value, one’s

quality as a

person improves

“

“

when we die our soul will continue doing what it did in thisworld; if we do latihan here, we will continue to do latihanthere. But what I want to ask is: apart from the latihan, willthe rest be the same in the next world. Say we think aboutsomething here, will we also think about things or makethings after we die, or see things that we could see whenwe were still alive. Thank you.

Ibu: I couldn’t hear. Can you repeat it?

Forgive me, this is what I want to ask, I readin one of Ibu’s talks that when we die we willcontinue the life that we had in this world,that we will do latihan, and we do the rightthings. So, we will continue to do latihanthere. But, apart from doing latihan, will wecontinue to do other things too; will we stillbehave like we did in this world? Thank you.

Ibu: Well, everything is based on reality. I cangive explanations about reality because Ihave witnessed it. If I had not witnessed it, Iwould not dare talk about it, because howlife is there compared to here is secret. Butwhat I received or what I experienced is thatwe will continue to do latihan there. The rea-

son is that even when we die we will not be complete, sowe continue latihan there.

And why will we be able to continue to do it there?Because our being has done latihan here, our soul is firm-ly connected to the power of God; whereas over thereour life is driven by the power of God. One has no desires,no program, nothing. Well, the program is God's program.So, we can still do latihan, we will still do latihan. As I said,because our souls are connected to the power of God,when we are released [from our bodies], our souls live on.Even though our form changes, because the contactbetween God and our soul is one, our latihan continues –but your latihan may be different there.

Question: Will we still behave there like we do here or not?

Ibu: Will we behave there like we do here? Well, it will notbe the same, it will be different – everything there is basedon the power of God. The power of God determines whatyou can do there. For instance, here you’re an adult andyou can eat, but how come you cannot eat there? Thereason is that you are not completely alive. That is why thislatihan has no end, it continues forever.

Question: [Inaudible.]

Ibu: If you are here you can negotiate, but you cannotnegotiate there. [Laughter.] For instance, ‘You have to dolatihan today.’ ‘Oh, I’m sleepy; I’ll do it later.’ You cannot do that. Once you are there, your latihan isautomatic.

What is it?

Question: I want to ask about a worldly matter. Well,when I first started to do latihan 37 years ago, I was notvery motivated, but then I became very diligent. Since Istarted being diligent, I have always been active in com-mittee work, from the group to the international level. Ihave observed an interesting phenomenon which all ofus, Bapak’s children, need to address.

problem, if it is still possible to test, you can test: Is thereceiving right or not? Well, do not test alone; you musttest with a few other people. And you also have to takeaccount of the circumstances.

Suppose this man believes he received, ‘Get married!’,but he already has a wife! Well, he has to weigh up hisreceiving against the real situation. Why can we not justsay, ‘Oh yes, it’s a real receiving.’ The problem is thatinside human beings, as Bapak kept tellingus, all kinds of elements are trying to directyou – you get directed by animal forces, bymaterial forces. Even the human force is stilla desire.

What is desire? It is a need we feel for some-thing that something inside us wants to get; itmeans that it is not the will of God. So, howcan we tell when it is the will of God? If I cansay, it will be different. If it is the will of Godthat you must get married, say, you will nothave that receiving here, not in this world.Where will you receive it? Well, it will be in therealm of the power of God.

So, what makes your receiving not the will ofGod? The place – you will not receive [the will of God]here. To give you an example, suddenly someone takesyou, as if you are carried… [Ibu gestures upwards], andthen you are told things, a voice there tells you this, thisand this. So, over there it is your soul that has the receiv-ing. If your soul receives it, the receiving is true. But if youhave that kind of receiving while you are still here in thisworld, it is still wrong – you are still influenced by this world.

So as I said, if he asks you, ‘Is my receiving true or not?’you can help him by testing. But you have to tell him, ‘Thetesting will not necessarily be true. I might get influencedby the desires of the one who asks; it’s possible. Butwhether it is true or not, you bear the responsibility.’ Soyou have to be clear about this; do not raise his hopes. Ifyou raise his hopes, and what he hopes for is wrong, it isas if you endorse his wishes, not the will of God.

Question: Forgive me, as he was a man, we could not saymuch to him. But we heard from his wife that he marriedsomeone else before we could talk to him.

Ibu: Well, especially if he is a man, you should say, “This isnot my responsibility. You should go and see the menhelpers.” That is an appropriate response. Especially asthe man is not in Subud… Oh, he is in Subud? Oh, he’s ahelper too?

Question: The husband and the wife are both helpers,but it was the wife who came to me complaining herhusband no longer came home. Well, we did not geta chance to discuss this with the men helpers,because it was...

Ibu: Look, just say this is not Subud’s business. That is sim-plest. The simplest path is to say this is not Subud’s busi-ness. Whether he gets married or not is between him andhis wife, not us; it is their business. If his wife agrees, and hehas plenty of money, he can have many wives – it is up tohim. [Laughter.] It is between him and God.

Question: Thank you, Ibu. I’m from Yogyakarta. What Iwant to ask is this. I once read in one of Ibu’s talks that

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Your value is

not great

enough to lift

or shift

the situation in

this world

“

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The Latihan Kejiwaan started with Bapak, and then Bapakhad assistants called helpers. Then the latihan spreadfrom one person to many until it went global. From myobservations, our association is stagnating everywhere.Why do I link this problem to the spiritual? Our associationis a spiritual association. If our association is not growing,there must be something wrong in theway we put the latihan into practice inour daily lives, in our families and in thecontext of our association.

So, my question is this: Is the reason ourassociation is not growing because ourindividual ‘af’al’ which, according toIbu, is needed to make our associationprogress is not evident yet. I often goadmy friends that if the structure of ourassociation was set up by Bapak, if wedo not work to make our associationgrow, it means that we do not loveBapak. The question now is, Ibu ourelder sister – I hope you will have a longlife, so that Ibu can always listen to ourcomplaints, well Ibu shouldn’t have tohear this – why is it that after so many decades have wenot made any progress? Is this really the will of God? I donot think so. What happens in this world is in our hands.There is no harmony between the helpers and the com-mittee, or between the committee members.

Please enlighten us so that when this get-together withIbu is over, we will have a fresh outlook that the lack ofprogress of our association is not because of God – Godgives it to us – but because of our own neglect. But, themembers who have been in Subud a long time are verydifficult – to use an English phrase – they are so stubbornand we have ended up like this. From the reports that Iget – as our chairman gave me an opportunity to helpthe national committee – we have had reports that mem-bers are bored because they do not get any guidancefrom the helpers; members leave because they see noimprovement in their economic circumstances after join-ing Subud; there are members who see no point in com-ing to latihan. These are symptoms that we have toaddress. This is a worldly problem, but it is still a spiritualone. So I ask for advice or whatever, so that we can gohome, with one opinion to improve and make our associ-ation move forward. Thank you, Ibu.

Ibu: Well, today, I have not closed my eyes – why is the sit-uation in Subud difficult, particularly in relation to thedevelopment of Subud or Subud’s endeavours? But wealso have to assess ourselves, because our goal is to wor-ship Almighty God so that we can act in accordancewith God’s will. But many people still cannot put God’s willinto practice due to their own stage of development. Thecause is they still show the influences that come from theirdesires, which are a block.

But once the true self is strong, the inner and the outer willbe in balance. But why is it so hard for us, for our spiritualprogress to be a counterweight to the conditions or reali-ty of life in this world? Bapak once said that if your valueincreases – your value means your value as a person; in otherwords you used to behave like this, but now you behave likethis – your worldly circumstances will improve too.

By ‘improve’ I mean, ‘Fancy that. How come it’s easy forme to find work? How come the things I sell are in

demand?’ So one’s circumstances improve as one’svalue, one’s quality as a person improves. If we ask, ‘Whyis it so hard for Subud to develop?’ The truth is that it is not.Not everyone is having a hard time. There are some whoare thankful, who have been lifted by their latihan. Well,of course, I cannot say who has improved and who is still

lacking; but God knows.

So if you feel, ‘Why has Subud not suc-ceeded in its task in the world?’ The reasonis that many Subud members are not reallyputting Subud into practice yet. Well, youare the one who knows whether you are ornot. We all need to be introspective, “Howcome when I tried this, it didn’t work; I triedthat, it didn’t work?” The reason is that yourpersonal state is not strong enough to liftthe obstacles you face in this world yet.

We face all kinds of obstacles. Well, per-haps the obstacle is that there is so muchcorruption that anyone who is not corruptcannot succeed in their work. That showsthat the conditions in this world still domi-

nate you. Your value is not great enough to lift or shift thesituation in this world.

But if you improve and you start to find… well we cannotask for this, but everything comes by itself. To give anexample, Bapak once said, ‘I don't look for money, butmoney looks for me.’ In the past I could not imagine that,‘How can money possibly look for a person?’ But strange-ly, how come that’s my experience too now? When infact I never hope for anything or ask, yet I lack for noth-ing in my life; I never have to ask. Well, this is a grace fromGod. Human beings cannot make it happen. How comeit is like that for me? It is because I surrender.

Well, surrender is something we have to find with our ownstate, each of us as individuals. And it is not easy to assessone’s state of surrender as it has to be real. When I sayreal, ‘But I do get along with people, and I do pray every-day.’ Well, how do you pray? You cannot think abouthow to do any of this, but it is a real experience. Well,probably not every one here is poor, some people’s livesare better than before.

And we really need to surrender to counter the turbu-lence in the world. As such, it is essential for us to getalong with each other. Why? It is because we are just asmall group of people. Compared to all the people whoare not in Subud, we are just this big, but you live in aworld this big... [Ibu makes a comparison with her fist tothe size of the world.]

So even though we have tried for so long, this world is too big,and our value is not enough to change it. So we have towork on our value and become Subud members who reallyare Subud. Well, we do not hope for luxury, we do not hopefor wealth, but we hope that we will not lack for anything inour lives and we will not harm or be a burden to anyone.

As I said, getting along with others is so important.Especially for us in the Subud community, we are just a fewpeople who can respect our Subud value so that we canbe stronger than the desires of this world. It will be evenworse if Subud people themselves participate in or add tothe greed of this world. We will become even less visible.

Ibu Rahayu at the Innsbruck Congress

SUBUDVOICE PAGE 12 MAY 09•

So, we do not need to worry, ‘Why is Subud like this?’Perhaps this is indeed our path. Perhaps the ones to seeSubud become productive and prosperous will be thegenerations to come. Well, who knows which genera-tion? But as human beings we have to try; we cannot justaccept the situation we face. We have to work, as I said,to venerate our own value, to honour the value of Subudpeople. If we are in Subud, but we keep arguing with oneanother, this one with that, gosh, where will we end up?When will we get along? How will we unite?

This is not the wish or plan of a human being; this is the willof God. We have to accept this. But it does not mean weshould despair, no. It is wrong to despair. This is like a test;in a situation like this, God is testing your perseverance:how long can you keep going, how far can you surren-der? Well, that's all I can say.

No more questions? For us, if we do latihan we now haveto put it into practice. We do not need to discuss how. Ifwe discuss how, the discussion will be endless. Now is thetime to put it into practice, to put the latihan into practice.Going to latihan is not enough; we have to put the latihaninto practice in how we behave and how we act.

What is someone who has a nature of susila like? Youhave to really apply it. Where is your budhi? Our budhi,the budhi inside us? Where is your dharma? Do you havea nature of dharma? To act with dharma is one of thosethings I mentioned that you have to find for yourself. Doyou have the quality of dharma? To have a quality ofdharma is not just a matter of giving money away. Do yourespect people, or do you still want to get your own way?There are many aspects to dharma.

Is that clear? Who else? No more questions? Well, this get-together is in preparation for the congress, which will beheld next month. Hopefully, God will bless us so that wecan be together again, and do latihan together, andshare our experiences and problems so that we can light-en the load of what we are doing now. I pray God willhear what we need.

Thank you.

His Foot Came Down Hard

•

Inner Voice welcomes stories and letters. Please send to IlainaLennard, NEW E-MAIL ilaine.l@blueyonder.co.ukIlaina (Ilaine for the e-mail) can be contacted at her NEWADDRESS: 8 Sissinghurst Grove, Up Hatherley, Cheltenham,Glos. GL51 3FA UK NEW TEL NO: (+44) (0)1242 707 701

I N N E RV O I C E

This story has been taken from ‘Experiencing theMiraculous’, the recent collection of Subud stories editedby members in Canada. The book is intended to show“the experience of Subud members and a resulting Gift ofGrace in their lives.”

The book is listed on amazon.com for US$14.99 plus ship-ping and handling charges. This story originally appearedin the book ‘Subud is a Way of Life’, by HarlinahLongcroft...

Some Iranian students were livingin Los Angeles about the year1978. One of them had over-worked at his studies and had torest for a while, and he was boredwith everything. There were oth-ers, too, possibly equally bored, sothey started to search for an innerway, an inner meaning to life.

They went to the film ‘Meetingswith Remarkable Men’, whichthey enjoyed very much, and oneof them remembers a line fromthe film that stuck in his mind atthe time. It was something like, “If it is the right time, youwill get help”.

That, at least, was a comforting thought, because hereally did want help.

Three of these students lived together, and one of themwas working as a taxi driver. He was a great reader, andhad studied not only the Persian mystics, but had alsoread Buddhist books and books on Zen. He read in his cabwhen he had no passenger.

One day, about a week after the film, the taxi driver wasabout to cross an intersection when the light changed.Instead of accelerating, his foot came down hard on thebrake. With a squeal of tires, and all the traffic backing upbehind him, he came to a halt.

He could not think why he had put his foot on the brake.Immediately after he had stopped, a passenger climbedin. He had recently arrived from out-of-town, had board-ed a bus for Santa Monica, only to find there was no seat.He had left the bus without realizing that all public trans-port in that area was full at that time of day. And then thistaxi stopped right in front of him.

He noticed the books in the car, and before long the twomen were talking about Persian poets. The taxi driverasked him if, perhaps, he was a Sufi. He replied that hewas a member of something even better. He was a mem-ber of Subud. When the taxi driver heard that word, hefelt calm, cool and very happy.

When he got home, he rushed into the house shouting,“I’ve found it! I’ve found it!” and so it was arranged thatthe Iranians would meet the Subud man in a coffee barin two days’ time to hear more about Subud.

But one of the students did not want to go. “No,” he said,“I will go to a movie.” “Oh, come on,” they said, “there isnothing on at the movies, and besides there is nothing inthe refrigerator. You’d better come to the coffee bar.”

When they met with the Subud people, two of the stu-dents had little need to ask questions, but one, of course,asked questions for a solid three hours. Having got all theanswers, he said once more, “No, I am going to thedesert to find a Sufi master.”

In the course of a conversation with someone else, theSubud member suddenly turned around and said to him,“Why must you go to dig holes in the desert to search forwater, when a river is in front of your feet?” At thatmoment, the student finally knew he wanted Subud.

He rushed into

the house

shouting, ‘I’ve

found it!

I’ve found it...

“

“

guilty of all charges, but the judgeactually commended me on theextent of my innocence.

Outside the court I was surroundedby journalists eager to report mystory. I eluded them and loweredmyself into an underground tunnelthat led to an enormous skyscraperjust a couple of blocks away. It was apost office depository, crammedwith unclaimed letters and parcels.Turning to the reporters, I said, “Doyou think I can let matters rest herewhen I’ve got that to go for?”

I felt sure that the “unclaimed mail” in the dream mustrepresent unrealized spiritual benefits of some kind: bless-ings, perhaps, that I had missed out on through reactingagainst the process and, therefore, blocking my progressin the early sixties. The same Sudarto who had written tome years before when I had just been opened was laterto elaborate on this interpretation during conversations inJakarta, Indonesia, in 1989.

”You yourself are good,” he said, “represented by beingfound innocent by the judge. The undelivered parcelssymbolise the inherited impurities of your ancestors, whichmust also be purified.” He pointed out that this new possi-bility, symbolised by my entry into the underground tun-nel, was in itself a highly significant aspect of the experi-ence. Clearly, I had a long way to go.

Once my initial panic reaction subsided, the intensivereceiving continued for months on end. Now that I wasable to go with the process rather than resist it, not a nightwould go by without the occurrence of one or more innerexperiences of one kind or another, often quite startling.In one I received that I was undergoing a ‘crucifixion,’and in truth it felt as if I had to face and accept deathwithin myself in surrendering to whatever the night wouldbring. This necessity helped to reinforce an attitude oftotal reliance upon God.

The ‘clear dreams’ became ever more commonplace. Inaddition to the more significant messages, most nights Iwould be shown edited highlights of the events of thenext day, which always proved to be accurate down tothe smallest detail.

Solitary SufferingMy solitary suffering also continued, as I was led to let goof all previous interests, habits and ways of being. Formonths, this advertising copywriter, this man whose onlyspare time interests had been reading complicated espi-onage thrillers and watching comedy and drama on tel-evision, was quite unable to write even a postcard, toread as many as two words strung together or to watchanything on TV!

I received that, for me, work had in fact been ‘a substi-tute for being.’ Now I had no choice but to endure andto be, without a moment’s escape into fantasy or relax-ation.

I felt very much like a newborn child, vulnerable andunfamiliar with the world around me. In fact, I awoke froma doze one afternoon feeling exactly as if I had just beenborn, as if I had no past. Everything around

PAGE 13SUBUDVOICE MAY 09

Complete Trust and Confidence “

“

Deep downI knew that

I wasbeyondhuman

help

cont on p15 >

Continuing our installments from Emmanuel Elliott’s book‘LATIHAN’…

It was as if my crisis could now proceed, and somehow ithad to be a solitary affair. I still did not know who I was,and relating to others was impossible. I felt transparent,defenceless, and acutely sensitive to what was doing onin those around me. For weeks I isolated myself from virtu-ally all contact, protected from the world by a newphone answering machine. I ventured out only on essen-tial visits to the local shop and to attend group latihan.

I seemed to pass through a period of de-parenting. I hadbeen an only child, sensitive and ‘highly strung,’ mirroringmany of my parents own characteristics. Also, some of myearliest and most formative years had been spent awayfrom the extreme poverty of my parents’ working classenvironment as the protégé of a group of wealthy bene-factors.

These good people had committed themselves to givingme a better chance in life than seemed to be possiblewith a mother and father whose poor financial circum-stances was matched only by their poor health. Now Icame to see that I had long blamed them for the identi-ty crisis that had dogged my entire life as a result of thoseearly mixed influences.

I had forgotten Bapak’s advice that such an attitude wasboth inappropriate and unnecessary. It was only neces-sary, he once wrote to me, to have faith in God and afeeling of trust in oneself, the true self that is already a liv-ing identity in the womb before falling under parentalinfluences.

This was a very difficult time of black depression andpounding headaches, a sort of crash course in psycho-analysis but directed entirely from within by the latihan. Infact, I wondered whether I should seek professional psy-chiatric help, but testing showed this was not necessary.

Deep down I knew that I was way beyond human help,that God Himself was in charge and that I had no choicebut to leave everything to Him. Again and again, the suf-fering and pressure would reach an unbearable level,and I would receive, “Rest awhile,” or “Enough for now.”At the end of this phase, I received, “You have alreadycome a long way.”

It was around this time that I spent three days in a state ofdesperate remorse for past errors and ways in which I hadhurt others. Weeping, I was driven to seek out these peo-ple and plead for forgiveness.

Awareness and SurrenderAwareness and surrender became my watchwords asexperience succeeded experience in what amounted toa virtual re-parenting by the Power of God. It was neces-sary for me to know and feel that I was truly a child ofGod, independent of all other creatures. In fact, from thispoint life and latihan began to merge, The latihan, Ibecame increasingly aware, is life.

My experiences at this time were symbolized by a graph-ic dream in which I was brought before a court andaccused of many offences. Not only was I found not

PAGE 14 SUBUDVOICE MAY 09

•

•

Areas of Interest to Explore

me seemed so strange and new that I actually went fromroom to room as if looking at everything for the first time.I even went out in the car to see how the outside worldlooked. I was surprised that I still knew how to drive!

For a long time, I continued to feel that I no longer hadany basis for relating to anyone else on earth. I felt likean alien on this planet, a stranger among its inhabi-tants, incapable of relationship with anyone otherthan God. I felt I began to understand what Jesus musthave meant when He said “The Son of Man hathnowhere to lay his head.”

One night in a particularly vivid dream, I saw myself being driv-en slowly to my own funeral. Dressed in a smart business suit, Iwas sitting calmly upright in the hearse beneath a large ban-ner stretched over my head. It bore the words, “CompleteTrust and Confidence.” (To be continued)

Nick Church, UK, writes about hisunusual introduction to Subud andsome things he would like to do…

I am a new member of Subud – afifty-something latecomer.

The experiences I had surroundingmy opening last November were

powerful. Certain realisations came through lucid dream-ing experiences, for example. Revelations of a deeplyspiritual nature arose in me unbidden and unexpected.Quite remarkable and so-called supernatural events tookplace. The extraordinary was commonplace.

As it happens, this was also all familiar. The opening itself,and subsequent latihans, were, are, second – or first –nature to me. They were an accepted and already thor-oughly ingrained, recognised and dominant, feature ofmy existing nature.

The experience of the latihan kejiwaan was seen to bethe very same condition of inner attunement I habituallyenjoy and normally inhabit. It was in no way new to me; ithad only a new name.

I wonder whether other members relate to this. Have anyof you readers experienced similarly? If so, the implica-tions could be great. I should at this point reveal that inmy case there is an identifiable reason.

Since my induction into the community and practices ofSubud several months ago, I have come to the realisationthat I had indeed already been opened! Unbeknown tome, a close friend at university opened me over thirtyyears ago. And following that, we latihaned frequently(without my knowing it as such).

He was a Subud member then, but did not speak of that alle-giance. As far as I can recall, he only mentioned it to me sev-eral years later. We continued to latihan together ‘by stealth’sporadically, when our paths crossed, for many years.

He never let on to me that the practice went by a certainname, and was deliberately entered into by certain prac-titioners with deliberate spiritual intent.As it happens, I am especially grateful to this friend for

having opened me in this way. Theresults and benefits have been free ofthe observations, interpretations andattributions they would most likely oth-erwise have been possessed of. Thegift was given without wrappingpaper. The blessing was receivedwithout the baggage.

Powerful Spiritual ExperiencesThe powerful, spiritual experiencesalluded to earlier that surround mysecond opening have nothing what-soever to do with Subud itself. Theyare, however, most probably connected to some degreewith what Subud members call the latihan kejiwaan – withwhich I have been long familiar in spirit, but not by name,and not through formal or designated practice.

To what degree the attribution can be made is any-body’s guess, of course – particularly as I had alreadyhad similar striking experiences long before that first unwit-ting opening in the mid ‘70s. It is my impression, though,that the recent spate was at least swelled, if not precipi-tated, by my application to Subud.

As an outcome of this, there are two related areas of inter-est I now intend to explore; and I should be most gratefulto any reader who feels they can contribute in any way.Actually, I am appealing for information and help.

Firstly, I wish to compile details of people’s extraordinaryspiritual or paranormal experiences. By gathering informa-tion about the nature, content and possible interpretationor explanation of the most outstanding examples of suchoccurrences in individuals’ lives, I hope to lift the lid on thisfascinating, frequently illuminating and potentially educa-tional, mysterious inner experience or receiving.

It is feasible that patterns of various sorts may arise in rela-tion to type, content and meaning. In any event, thedata would form part of a much needed resource forresearch into the esoteric aspects of our lives. Assumingenough quality information is supplied, it is expected tobe published in book form.

Secondly, upon analysis of the submitted data it is hopedthat more light will be shed upon the latihan kejiwaan ofSubud as it demonstrates through the experiences of itspractitioners.

A clearer, fuller understanding of its specific nature androle may then begin to emerge. This could be of signifi-cant benefit to both members and non-members whoare interested in the exploration and opening of the fron-tiers of the higher inner self.

Please contact me if you are willing to share any relevantinformation, experiences or reflections. Your contributions willbe received with gratitude and in the strictest confidence.Contact Nick Church: english.home@virgin.net

Nick Church, UK

I wish tocompiledetails ofpeople’sspiritual

experience

“

“

To find the corresponding time in your part of the world go towww.timeanddate.com/worldclock

WORLD LATIHAN

J U N E 6 / 7 2 0 . 0 0 G M T o n t h e 6 t h

M A Y 0 3 1 0 . 0 0 G M T

unknown. (If this isn’t "going with the flow", I told myself, “Idon't know what is.”

In truth, it all seemed like a movie, and here I was in themiddle of it. The fact my head was still above water andthat I wasn't hurting was a tremendous relief. Of course, Icouldn't swim, but there was still hope with a lifejacket on.

Thankfully our kayak leader, at the bottom ofthe falls and out of sight, heard the yells of ourriver mates above and immediately changedhis focus – moving into rescue mode. Afterour un-initiated trajectory, he began pad-dling into the current and was soon able toget ahead of us. First he helped my kayakingpartner, now several meters in front; thentogether they caught hold of my arms anddragged me in.

Quietly GratefulNot one kayaker in the whole troop, ourselvesincluded, actually referred to the incidentwhen we re-convened. I suppose we were allstill in shock, and maybe, just quietly grateful

that no one was harmed.

When this incident occurred, I had been opened inSubud only 5 months before, and in fact, had attendedlatihan practice only twice in three months as it was nextto impossible to meet with members living in Bali due tothe lack of evening transportation to Nusa Dua where Ihad a teaching contract at the time.

Of course, I had considered myself on a spiritual path formany years previous, and interestingly, the man who wasrandomly appointed as my kayak partner, turned out tobe a theological scholar.

No doubt there were lessons for both of us to learn thatday, and hopefully, our prayers combined (or our surren-der to the inevitable), generated the assistance weneeded.

It was through reading one of Bapak's talks today that thismemory of my kayak tour re-surfaced. To quote Bapak“…an angel can travel here from the sun in fifteen sec-onds… faster than the speed of light.” All I can say is thatthey didn't waste any time coming to our rescue – and"No, I haven't kayaked since!" …

Aha … not true. I ride the rapids in the Grand Canyonevery now and then – in the comfort of IMAX or OMNI-MAX theatres.

Miranda Ranger, Canada, recalls a “miraculous”escape…

Several years ago I visited Australia and signed up for arafting tour that was a little too advanced for my skills –and I nearly lost my life.

A team of 14, two to a kayak, boarded somenarrow rubber rafts and were instructed howto paddle, change directions, etc. A coupleof hours up river we were expected to go sin-gle file over the shallow side of some falls,and then midway, get out of our boats whichwould at that point be lodged amongstsome rocks.

Then we had to portage over some boul-ders on our right where we could insert ourraft again into the billowy waters for thefinal descent.

After giving explicit instructions to everyone, our guidemade his way to the bottom of the falls and begancoaching one craft at a time through this more than chal-lenging route.

My partner and I were idling up at the top of the falls,staying as far right as we could get. However, there weretwo other kayaks to our immediate right, putting us a littletoo far left where a dangerous current flowed.

Perhaps, dipping the paddle in at the wrong angle, or nothaving the experience to hold our position while waterstreamed around us, put us in jeopardy.

Suddenly, the current grabbed our boat, and against ourseveral futile attempts to 'right the situation', drove us tothe highest part of the falls (a drop of possibly 30 feet!),and pushed us over the brink!

The moment we lost control of our kayak, I was calling myangels, never thinking that we might survive. Even ourguide, a 'pro', wouldn't risk the left side of the falls, and hewas off (in two more days) to the Baja of Mexico to com-pete in the International Kayaking Championships. So Ifigured, with this knowledge in hand, we were doomed!

Inexplicable!What happened next, I will never be able to explain.Releasing my oar so that I could shield my head with botharms, I relaxed into an "I'm going, so there's no point resist-ing it" posture.

We seemed to be bouncing downward – from one sideto another and eventually forward – water gurglingthroughout the senses. On angels’ wings, nothingseemed too jarring. In those brief moments it felt like wewere eased gently through passages that didn’t exist,between and over boulders that could have snapped aback or neck, or dismembered an arm had we been jolt-ed from the craft too early.

Not a minute later we hit bottom, capsized, and wereimmediately thrown into the swirling torrent. The nextthing I remember was that the river again had control ofour destiny – the current pulling us swiftly into the

PAGE 15SUBUDVOICE MAY 09

On Angels’ Wings

“

With this knowledge

in hand, we were

doomed...

“

Patrick Suthor, UK, writes…

For several days after a kejiwaan meeting last year inMunich I lived in a state where there was no personal "I".Nothing was "better" or different from before, the sametastes and preferences but there was no person who hadthese qualities.

When the thought of "I" presented itself, I found myselflaughing at such a ridiculous idea. "Who" laughed? I’msure God has a lot of fun every time a human thinks ofhimself as an individual "I". "I" is just a thought.

No ‘I ’•

•

PAGE 16

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REMINISCENCES OF BAPAK AND OF MY LIFEArthur Abdullah Pope. Third edition with 20extra pages of text now available from abdandsal@ozemail.com.au or after 1stMarch from Amazon.comAlso Salamah Pope’s book on Bapak’s cosmo-logical ideas, THE PATTERN OF THE WORLD, isnow available from www.amazon.com

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LIFE/CAREER COACHINGDEVELOPMENT OPPORTUNITYAs a Senior Performance ManagementConsultant for large multinational organiza-tions in the UK and internationally, I havebeen very successful in helping all levels ofmanagement and staff develop their careersto greater heights. I have now decided, aspart of my own Subud Enterprise, to offer thisservice to Subud members and their familiesin the UK.

The work that I do is grounded in the beliefthat we were born with unique individual giftsand talents. What I offer is a way to realizeyour true potential, through a process of indi-vidual coaching sessions uncovering andeliminating negative behavioural thinkingpatterns in one’s life. This is achieved byempowering people with positive, motivat-ing behavioural tools and techniques thatwill give you the confidence and courage toexcel in everything that you do, even in themost challenging of times.

Unlike exorbitant coaching rates thatConsultants generally charge, my rates arevery reasonable. For a complimentary dis-cussion on personal career/life coachingopportunities, please email to: synergy-consulting@ntlworld.com or contactme (Anand Kumar) on +44 (0) 7940 834 413.

www.synergy-consulting.org IRISH CONGRESSOur Irish Congress is on 19/20 MAY.The Irish Congress weekend is at anAdventure Centre in Wicklow nearDublin – visit the web site:www.ecoadventureireland.ie. orcontact Esma Lillis, Ireland Chair, atelillis55@yahoo.com. We wouldlove to have guests from all over!

•

Halim Korzybski at La Source hasfound this song from Bapak par-ticularly meaningful…Halim writes, “I have just comeacross this translation of Bapaksinging some time, forty yearsago: translated by Usman. It wasat a gathering but I do not knowthe place or time. Perhaps itwould be worthy to print?”

Usually we only print quotationsfrom Bapak where we can iden-tify the source with a talk codenumber, but we have made anexception for this short song.Can anyone identify the sourceof this one?

Don’t feel things are too heavy or too difficult

To carry out your promise and mission to God.

To organize brings harmony and peace

To all Subud members.

To be able to fulfil your promise,

To bring light and happy feelings,

This is a kind of test for you towards God,

And you will be rewarded for sure.

God is within you, closer than your own feelings,

And completely fills your entire being.

DON’T FEEL THINGS ARE TOO HEAVY