synthesis weekly jan. 13-19, 2014

GOING ROGUE IN A GREAT BRA Joe Hilsee of the Rogue Theatre tells us about making people feel things, and the upcoming production of Venus In Fur at The Blue Room, starring Suzanne Papini and Jeremy Votava.

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COMICAL RUMINATIONS

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PRODUCTIVITY WASTED

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COMPUTERLAND TIME CAPSULE This is not parody, this is legitimately what computers were all about in 1994. Be amazed along with original Synthesis writer Edog as he explains the wonders of AOL and e-mail. Those were the days.

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IMMACULATE INFECTION

PAGE 7 OLD CROCK

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FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

GET YOUR HEART WARMED Do you like it when people rescue cats? Do you like good natured old ladies who used to dance the night away? Between these two features, you are bound to feel like you just read an Upworthy article.

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CONSIDER THE PLATYPUS

PAGE 18 LIKE, LITERALLY

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For 19 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for

entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett

[email protected]

MANAGING EDITOR Amy Ol son

[email protected]

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh

[email protected]

ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy Olson

[email protected] [email protected]

DESIGNERS Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez [email protected]

DELIVERIES Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Erica Koenig,

Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Dan O' Brien, Jackie Reardon, Negin Riazi , JD DiGiova nni, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz

PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid

Vincent Latham

NERD Dain Sandoval

dain@ synthesis. net

ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter

OWNER Bill Fishkin

bill@ synthesis.net

The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published

in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions.

One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and

Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessa rily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions

and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wa nts, and will even

desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters @synthesis. net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708

info@synthesis .net

JAN UA RY 13 - JAN UA RY 19, 2014 3

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NOW HEAR THIS Sy nthesis Weekl y Play list

TAN N ER THE BINS - "HOLD ON"

AMY THE BEASTIE BOYS - "GET IT TOGETHER"

DAIN GERRY RAFFERTY - "RIGHT DOWN THE LINE"

COLIN ASTRONAUTICA - "CRUISE"

TARA M.l.A. - "BAD GIRLS"

MIKE "PARANOID (MARVEL REMIX)"

KATYA FLYING LOTUS - "ZODIAC SHIT"

4 JAN UARY 13 - JAN UARY 19, 2014

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR AMY OLSO N - A MY@SYNTHESISNET

THE CIRCLE OF TYPE

I am completely exhausted, in the most literally depleted sense of the word. I finally started my strength training class, and as it turns out I'm the most out of shape person there. I'm not the oldest, or the largest, but God help me I'm the weakest and the slowest. If there were lions in there for some reason, they would pick me off in a heartbeat.

I'm trying really hard though, which means my body feels like I got trampled by a large elephant while I was in the process of lifting a smaller elephant. John and Sarah Fragoso (check them out onjsstrength.com) are the nicest people on the planet, and they kept asking me if I wanted to take it easy, but I have this rid iculous mechanism in my brain that forces me to say I'm fine whenever people ask. And then I feel guilty for not being honest, on top of forcing myself through physical suffering to prove the lie that I'm fine. It's a vicious pattern of self sabotage that benefits no one.

On top of that, I've volunteered myself to do all kinds of writing in this issue (and again next issue, and probably every issue forever because I'm totally fine). The plus side of that is that I got to talk to one of the most impressive mover-shakers in our local performing arts community, Joe Hilsee of The Rogue Theatre. His productions are always extremely evocative and provocative-two of my favorite ocativesand I was so pleased to be able to hear

more about his perspective on theatre. The Rogue partnering with the Blue Room is a pretty big deal, too. If you're not familiar with Chico theatre history, take my word for it : this is a development that brings a lot of happy to theatre fans.

Another cool thing happened this week: after saying a sad goodbye to Edible Bits, we're welcoming two new columnists. I'm a jerk, and never welcomed Mona Treme, author of our bi-weekly column Consider The Platypus. She actually wrote her first piece for us a few issues back. But hey, it's like being at a party where you nod at someone across the room before you actually say hi and introduce them to your boyfriend (in this metaphor you are my boyfriend, sorry if you're married and this makes trouble for you at home). Anyway, welcome to Mona. We love her and you will too. We also have a new column I'm really excited about called Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz. He's all kinds of clever, and is going to bring us some fun insights into gamer and internet culture.

I'd like to give one last shout to Ann Fox and the ladies of The Undead Beauties of Chico Calendar. Your tasteful side-boob has been making my January bright. If anyone wants to snag one of the last copies, they're available on line at pistolfireproductions.com, The Ultra Beautician (next to the Pageant), and Eye of Jade downtown.

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y.CO M

COMICAL RUMINATIONS BY ZOOEY MAE - [email protected]

HAB SOSLI' QUCH!

An incident occurred today at work, and when I say "work" I'm not referring to my "job" at Synthesis. This may come as some surprise as you, dear reader, but I don't actually make enough money writing about cat farts and candy for Synthesis to bankroll my rock n roll lifestyle (see also: purchasing Costco brand sweatpants in bulk). To supplement my income, I work as a copywriter for a local clothing company. On my best days I like to think as myself as Elaine Benes in her J. Peterman days. Today was not one of my best days. Today I was more like Mr. Bean in a phlebotomy lab. Sometimes I have to pick up various things from downtown, or assist on outside photoshoots (see also: hold a collapsible reflector in the right spot for about twenty seconds then show the photographer how weak my arms are by dropping it a few inches every few seconds).

Today I was charged with picking up some supplies from a local downtown art store. My boss gave me some cash, and I took the money from her. Folded it, put it in my back pocket, and walked a block to the store. I purchased the items needed, and when I pulled the money out to pay, I was $100 short. Masking my panic, I walked back to work, back up to the office and checked with her on the amount she'd given me. I was (unfortunately) justified in my panic. Somehow, in the short walk from her office to the store, I'd lost her

money. Now, because my boss is really sweet, and most likely (at least partly), the reincarnation of Tom Hanks, she's not making me pay back the money. (And hey, listen. I know Tom Hanks isn't dead. But I've had a rough day. So shut up).

I almost wish she'd let me pay her back. I have a tendency to mentally punish myself for things like this for waaaaay longer than I probably should, but on the other hand, without doing so I'm closer to my Costco sweatpants goal : To have every dog (Bowie & Juno), person (me and my roommate Eli), and poodle figurine I own swaddled in Costco sweatpants by the end of 2014. Yes we can.

And now, on to what I meant to actually write about this week: a politician in North Carolina chose to tender his resignation by submitting a letter written entirely in Klingon. What a nerdy genius. David Waddell (not the CSUC professor by the same name), stepped down from his position on the Indian Trail Town Council last week. I wish I could've been present when the office full of people dressed in business casual sat with furrowed brows, crowded around a long table and tried to figure out what it meant. I think if I wanted to quit my job in some strange fashion, I'd probably hire a lookalike to sit at my desk until they noticed it wasn't me, then only when really pressed she'd try to convince them that I was actually a time lord, and that's just what I looked like now.


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6 JAN UARY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 20 14

PRODUCTIVITY WASTED BY ELI SCHWARTZ

RISK IS HALF THE FUN

Constructing a game is hard. There are a million things to think about: accessibility, presentation, positive and negative feedback, storyline, immersion, and of course, the mechanics. Yet among the multitudes of concepts it's important to remember that the best way to surprise your player is to surprise yourself.

For instance, I have a player in my tabletop RPG campaign who spends most of the missions either asleep or drinking until he falls asleep. This is partly because he only plays to interact with his friends, and partly because he feels that his Druid is generally useless. His primary contribution was to turn into a bird and fly around screeching until the other players yell at him to come down. For a long time, the most animated he ever got in -game was an argument with the Sorcerer over whether his spell was "Resilient Sphere" or "Resilience Fear".

This was until he got a spell that allowed him to convey sentience to plants. Stuck in a malaise that would make Jimmy Carter speak disapprovingly, the druid used it on the most inconvenient thing possible: A giant system of carnivorous vines. The vines, suddenly enlightened, offered to share the Ranger's corpse as soon as they were done tearing it in half. What followed was one of the more bizarre persuade checks I've ever had. Yet when the vines let the ranger go, wrapped themselves around the many skeletons of their victims and ambled away a giant, writhing army, the

druid was delighted.

Like a domineering family patriarch armed with a map and an itinerary, I had been attempting to control the fun in a way that I believed completely maximized it. But those of us who have, at one point, been children (you know who you are) can recall memories of being entirely dissatisfied of when we had to play by someone else's rules. I remember playing hide and seek thinking, "This would be more fun if we could tag the person seeking." Giving your players a chance (and the challenge) to make their own fun, or at the least, their own mess, can create amazing situations that test everyone involved.

And why stop at players of tabletop RPGs? Video game developers make sandbox games so that people can release rabid cassowaries on their opponents (Far Cry 3) or build whole worlds and kingdoms where you can make and enforce your own rules (Minecraft). Video game design and development could go far with some controlled laissez-faire. Some of the most devoted fans of more rigid classics like the Zelda series live for finding glitches, only because it lets them bypass the system.

Developers, Dungeon Masters, managers, parents, and leaders of all kinds must often ask themselves: Who am I doing this for? Sometimes giving your players a little freedom can create extraordinary situations, and that's often what we seek in terms of creativity and entertainment. And if that turns into terrible, regrettable mistakes, they usually make for great stories or hilarious screenshots.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOWARD - [email protected]

DISPOSABLE CULTURE AND WINTER GARDENING Trish and I drove up to Redding today. We went to pick up a truck load of leftover building supplies from a company that recently went out of business. The stuff we collected was what remained after the bank auctioned off everything of what I guess they thought of as "value." There was another couple up there loading a trailer with metal shelves and metal wings from large display units. They planned to take one load; then return with a larger truck and a crew to take everything left. This was nice, because anything that wasn't taken would simply be tossed into dumpsters and eventually shuttled off to and dumped in the ever-growing landfills.

It is amazing what was going to be dumped; amazing what the bank considered "of no value." Their only interest, at this point, was to have the space cleaned and cleared so that they could quickly get it sold. I get this, numerically, but the fact that the mortgage or rent is so impressive that it dwarves the thousands of dollars of material being sacrificed for expediency make me agree with the guy who insists that the rent is too damn high.

Space is space, resources are resources. You need both, of course, but space isn't going anywhere, while resources are dwindling. An economy that allows, or really is based upon, resources being used briefly before being tossed into dumps, strikes me as a system that has a few bad formulas embedded in it somewhere. I should mention though that I am not an economist.

Classic Crime

I've been plowing through Jim Thompson novels. Over the past couple weeks I've read The Kill Off, Savage Night, South of Heaven, and now I'm almost through The Alcoholics. Thompson is probably my favorite author; his stripped down, hard-boiled stories of crime and corruption take place in an environment of complete moral decay and ethical ambiguity. His characters are brainless brutes, oversexed hussies, dope fiends, hit men, and violent gangsters. His stories alternate between dark, harrowing and hopeless, too deeply disturbing and strangely humorous. I love his books, but honestly, I think four in a row is probably enough, maybe too many.


Quinoa, the Winter Garden, Death or Glory

I sowed quinoa seed into a small area in the vegetable patch, and I'm planning on preparing and seeding a much larger area over the course of the next couple weeks. This is sort of an experiment. Quinoa originated in the Andes, in South America, and so prefers a high elevation, cold climate. Here in the United States it reportedly does really well in the mountains of Colorado. I planted quinoa last year in January and the plants matured in the late spring, before the high heat of summer could beat them down. The seed I am sowing this year came from last year's crop. I haven't eaten any of it yet.

We have been harvesting lettuce, kale, mustard greens and big black Spanish radishes from the garden. The excavation and construction of the Death or Glory is moving up the priority list and I swear there is a window of time coming up here somewhere.

JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014 7

Out of all the great local theatre companies we have in our area, the one that I'm really excited about is Rogue. Last year they gave us incredibly moving and thought provoking renditions of August, Osage County, and 7he Weir, far surpassing my expectations for what local theatre was capable of being. They will be debuting their 2014 season with Venus In Fur at their original stomping grounds, The Blue Room Theatre, running January 16th through February 1st.

The story of Rogue begins like any story, with a spark of inspiration and a powerful witch. But before that story could begin, there had to be a prologue wherein we are introduced to our hero, a young high school student named Joe Hilsee, and his quest to meet girls by getting into theatre. The alchemy that followed this fateful choice of electives would bring adventure, romance, reinvention, and some really effing amazing drama to our little college town. Behold, the tale of Joe Hilsee and The Rogue Theatre, in mostly his own words ...

Was there any particular person or production you saw that inspired you?

Yeah there were a few! I had a wonderful teacher when I was in high school, Cleo Gambetta, and she was just great. She was quite an influence on me, showing me that theatre was something more than just a way to meet girls. You could express yourself, get quite a wonderful sense of accomplishment from it. I was in the Shakespeare Club,

8 JANUARY 13 - JANUARY 19, 2014

and she took us to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. Seeing that in high school was pretty amazing. I knew, then, that this was where I wanted to work; this was where I wanted to go. It took a long time ... that would've been in 1985. It took 15 years, I think, but by 2001 I was working there as an actor.

I was like, "What do I have to do? I have to get a degree in theatre." I looked in the program, and I noticed most people had a Master of fine arts, so I was like, "I guess I gotta do that." The one school I saw represented more than any other was Southern Methodist University. I got a scholarship to go there, and from there I worked at the Utah Shakespeare Festival, and then was picked up by the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

So it all worked out, but {laughs} it's one of those thingsthere I was 25 or 26, and I was like "I've realized my life dream! ... What do I do now? I never really though past this moment ... " And so I kinda had to reasses. I realized this wasn't where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do for the next 40 years of my life. So, I was exploring writing a lot more, I was exploring directing and producing and things like that. And I kinda knew I wanted to go in that direction.

I managed to meet this person when I was working in Portland, playing Guildenstern in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, And the casting director up there, who-I didn't know at the time, and she didn't know it

either-was some kind of powerful witch. I remember she had asked me out for lunch one day and said, "Well, Joe, what do you want to do?"

And I said, "Well, I want to run a small black box theatre, in a college town, on the west coast. That's really where I really want to see myself!" It was right after that that the opening for an artistic director at The Blue Room came up, and so I applied for that. And I never thought I'd be back in Chico again-I mean I loved Chico and had always seen myselfliving in Chico, but I really didn't see how I could do that-and then this came up. So just six months after that conversation I found myself running a small black box theatre, in a college town, on the west coast. Unfortunately, I never said, "With lots of money," in that conversation {laughs}. I left that part out. But had I known she had these powers, I certainly would've added that as well.

A lot of your actors were with you when you started at the Blue Room too, who are those people?

Well, Amber Miller. ..

That's your wife, right?

Yes! {He thinks to himself that I'm a creepy stalker} Yes, we met in the theatre. Well, she was actually the first person that I met when I came to Chico, in fact. Coincidentally or ironically ... however you want to look at it. Then there's Betty Burns, DeLisa Freistadt, and there were lots of other people who have since moved on ...

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

+ I don't know how we did it,

but we did! And it turned out really, really well.

+ How does it feel to be back at the Blue Room? Is it deja vu, is it odd?

It's great, I love the space, I've always loved this theatre. It feels good coming back, actually. It's familiar. I like the people who are in here ... Martin Chavira is kinda running the show here right now, and he's an old Rogue member. He was a very influential part of the Rogue for years and years.

What's your favorite production that you've done?

I don't know! Well, the first production that I felt was like, "I wanna do this and here I'm doing it ." was Hamlet on a

bare stage, and it went over really well... One of the most exciting plays we did here was Quills a few years ago ... I wanted to charge people and get them to sit up, and sit back, and cover their eyes, and turn them on all at the same time ... We did quite a few plays by Martin McDonaghbasically everything he wrote- we did four or five of his plays up here.

The first play we ever did as The Rogue was 1he Pillowman , which was another Martin McDonagh play ... We had absolutely no money, at all. Everyone was just sorta emptying their own pockets to try to put this thing up for nothing. I don't know how we did it, but we did! And it turned out really, really well. A very challenging, difficult three hour production about this serial child killer. It was like "Who in their right mind is going to come see this!" But people came, and they loved it .. .it was one of those things where people were like "I can't believe I just was laughing all the way through this comedy about this guy who was a serial child murderer." But that's what Martin McDonagh does: he makes you laugh and then makes you say can you believe that you're laughing at this. But just showing that humanity isn't just "you do this then you do this." There are other aspects to being human that we can all identify with to a certain extent-not that we're all going to be serial child killers-but he finds those things like, "There's something in that guy that I identify with, and how tragic that it went that askew." ... And that's the kind of thing I look for when I read scripts as a director and producer of theatre; those things that are VERY human, but because they are very human it means that there's a complexity to them. People say, "What's the story?" but it's just like, well. .. I don't know, it goes on but that's not really the point. It's what's happening between these people. Usually how people get messed up somehow.

... And I'm excited about the new play coming up!

Please, talk about Venus in Fur!

Again, it's one of those things, I can tell you the story in a sentence, but it doesn't sound that interesting. It's about what happens to these strangers over the course of the hour and a half (it's all in real time), from when this girl walks into this audition with this this guy, until what happens at


the end.

But it's dealing on so many different levels that as an audience member you never know exactly who these people are. Are they dealing in some sort of literary metaphor, or is this reality? And then they're dealing with this play within a play-they're rehearsing another play- so there are all these levels of "What is the reality of what's going on?"

There's the complexity in that, but also through that there's the themes that they deal with. There's a man and a woman, and they're dealing with a lot of gender themes. It's not a gender play though, there's no issues in the play. That's another thing that I just don't do, I stay away from issue plays. I don't like them, I call them the "letters to the editor plays ." You can't ever pinpoint, "Oh, it's about this!"

That's one of my favorite things in the play, there's this part when they talk about, "Oh, the play's about this!", "No, it's not about anything. Some things might get discussed, but it's not about anything. It just IS itself, and you get out of it what you can." But anyway ... It's about two people, it's very literate-the language is stunning-the complexity of the relationship goes everywhere. They start off as strangers and they end up ... who knows how they end up? But they go through everything in between, all over the entire gamut of human experience, it seems.

And it's sexy. And Suzanne [Papini]'s wearing a bra and panties the entire time, [laughing] and fishnet stockings, and garters ... so you throw that on there, and you have a lot that the audience has to deal with . And here's this poor guy who's in this room with this woman who he's trying to have a professional relationship with, and she's in garters and panties, and, as it say in the script, "a fabulous bra." They have to deal with that kind of attraction throughout the entire play as well, and that may or may not be happening. Is she using that to her advantage, or is she not? Is he just sort of objectifying her, or is she using the fact that she's really sexy in order to get something. ls he using the fact that he's extremely intelligent? He's very handsome- well, it's Jeremy Votava, you know. He's this very handsome guy with a wonderful voice, who has written this very literate play, and is he using that to press his advantage on this other person? Is she using the assets that she has? She's very disarming and intelligent as well. Are they both using these assets that they have in order to gain some advantage over the other person at any time? And if they are, what are they trying to gain? And where are they trying to go with it?

And those are the things that could be anywhere depending on where you're sitting as an audience member-what you're bringing into the play .. . I think it's one of those ones that everyone's going to come away from saying, "Oh yeah, that's what was going on'', "Oh really? I didn't see that ... " you know ... I'm excited because of that.

I can't wait to see it! I'm totally excited.

Venus in Fur runs fan. 16th-Feb. 1st. D oors open at 7pm. 1hursday tickets are $10, Friday & Saturday tickets are $121 advance or $15 at the door. Advance tickets are available at blueroomtheatre.com & Lyon Books


TIME CAPSULE

COMPUTER CENTRAL BY EDOG, ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN WEEKLY SYNTHESIS (1994)

From Issue #2

So, I'm at a friend's house, not really doing much except to watch him use his computer.

"Big deal," I thought. "It's not like I don't have a computer at home to play with." So I gleefully ignored the things he · · was doing. Up to a point ...

"Hey, Edog," he said. "Come here and take a look at this. You can write about this for your article." I looked up and noticed that he had just logged into America On-Line [AOL), a service that allows you to connect to the Internet, and was showing me the "Chico Room."

This columnist was quite surprised to learn about the "Chico Room." In this "room," I found out that I could learn much about Chico State without actually having to be there. Well, I shouldn't say I was surprised; more like astonished. I never realized just how big and informative AOL actually was.

Maybe I should stop babbling and explain what the hell I'm talking about.

After getting onto America On-Line, I had to click on the button that said "keyword." That allowed me to search for a specific item, namely Chico, which is what I typed in. A couple of seconds later, I got a few windows which showed a plethora of article titles relating to Chico State and the neighborhood. There was also a box which showed "Chico Newsgroups," groups of articles which pertain to Chico as a community.

There were so many that I didn't get a chance to go through them all. Quite amazing, I would have to say. I found it to be very informative. Just knowing something like this exists for me to peruse is exciting for me. Of course, you shouldn't take my word for it. You'll have to try it for yourself.

Last but not least, The Weekly Synthesis can be found on AOL, in the Chico Room. We can also receive your e-mails there. Our e-mail address is [email protected]. Feel free to write to us expressing your thoughts. If you have any computer related questions, please don't hesitate to write me in care of this newspaper or on the internet: edog@ ecst.csuchico.edu

[Editor's note: if you try to find us/contact us through our AOL chat room or the above AptB email address, you may need a time machine]

From Issue #3

Are you hip to the newest way to send a message to someone? Have you heard the word on the streets? I'm talking about electronic mail.

Mailing letters electronically has been around for over two decades, but just lately introduced to the general public. E-mail, as it is called, can get to a designated person faster

10 JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014

than your average "paper, stamp, and envelope" can. With an e-mail account, you can talk to just about anyone in the entire world!

You look around, and hear many people talk about it. But what is it exactly? Without trying to be too technical, here is the gist of the e-mail thing:

Computers that can send e-mail are hooked up to what is known as the "Internet," and this Internet consists of thousands of computers linked together through telephone lines and other types of cables.

Let's say you write something at your home in Chico, and you send it off to a friend on the East Coast, say, Pennsylvania. It sends along the lines until it reaches its final destination point (your friend). Simple? Nothing could be simpler. "Write, send, receive."

Here at the Chico State campus, accounts are given to all students. That means, if you're a student here, you can get an e-mail account here. Sounds exciting? Better believe it! Get into the '90s, get an e-mail account, and see the world in the comfort of your own home.

From Issue #4

Are you a graphical user person? Do you need to see pictures in order to understand what you are doing? Then maybe Mosaic is for you. Mosaic allows you to have

Internet information at your fingertips (or, as the case may be, at the click of a button).

I have found that the easiest way to figure something out is if there was a picture I could go to if I didn't understand. Mosaic is a program which allows the user (that's you) to access information brought to you onto a Windows based environment. If you want to know more about a particular topic or something, all you have to do is click it with your mouse.

Here at Chico State University, Mosaic can display all the class schedules. With it, you can tell if there is an open class or if the class is full. By finding the right "links," it will also show current events in and around the school. Of course, there is more stuff to look through, but you get the general idea.

Furthermore, there is no need for you to have an e-mail account to be able to access Mosaic. Look for Mosaic at any PC or Mac lab throughout the campus.

P.S. Last time I neglected to mention how to obtain an e-mail account. For that, I apologize. You can get one by heading up to O'Connell 242. On the right side of the door, there is a box holding the application form you will need to get one. Just fill it out and turn it into the accounts manager who resides at O'Connell 242, and show him your school ID. In a matter of days, you'll be all set.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

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MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT SUN WEDNESDAY 9PM DANCE NIGHT DJ SPENNV & JEFF HOWSE

Closed. Closed We need to drink, too!

Come see our beautiful Closed Patio ! Happy Hour 4-6:

Menu cockta ils $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Come see our beautiful Closed

Patio! Happy Hour 4-6:

Menu cocktails $1 off.

Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Come see our beautiful Closed

Patio ! Happy Hour 4-6:

Menu cocktails $1 off.

Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Food Truck Friday: Bartender Specials

Pop's Pi zza wood-fired $3 14oz Slushies

pizza 's made to order on $4 20oz Slushies

the patio.

Happy Hour from 4-6.

We open at 12:00pm. Bartender Specials

Kentucky Bucks are $5 $3 14oz Slushies

until 5pm! $4 20oz Slushies

WHENEVER OAKLAND

PLAYS: DARK AND

STORMYS FOR $S WHEVEVER THE NIN ER'S

PLAY: FRISCO SOURS

FOR$S

Mon-Fri happy hour

11-2PM

$2.50 Dom & Sierra

Nevada Drafts 3-6PM v$3.SO Dbl Wells

6PM -close $8 Dom Pitcher

$9 SN Pitcher

2 DOLLAR TUESDAY!

Food & Drink specials! 11AM-2PM $2.50 SN &

Dom Drafts

2-close $2.50 we lls & Dom

Drafts $3.50 Dbl Wells &

Kami shots

WING WEDNESDAY!

$2 for 3 Wings

$2.SO SN Pint All Day

8PM-Close

$3.50 Fireball, Jim Beam,

Captain Morgan and

Jameson

11-2PM $2.50 Dom

& Sierra Nevada Drafts

3-6PM

$3.SO Dbl Wells

8-close

$3 Soccer Moms

$5 Smirnoff Blasters

$5 DBL Roaring Vodka

11-2PM

$2.SO Dom & Sierra Nevada Drafts

3-6PM

$3.SO Dbl Wells

8-Close

$2.SO Dom & SN Drafts

Open at llAM ! Bloody Mary Bar

Noon-6PM

$8 Dom Pitcher

$9 SN Pitcher

8PM-Close

$6.SO DBL calls

10AM-2PM

$5 Bottles of Champagne

with entree

$4.SO Bloody Mary

$S.SO Absolut Peppar

Bloody Marys

Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM $6.SO Pulled pork sand w/ from 4-7PM $1.50 PBR or Coors Pin ts fri es or salad PBR $2.2S Everyday ! $2 Kami Shooters 25 cent w ings from

1/2 OFF POOL halftime 'til they're gone!

Pool League, 3 player MONSTER MONDAY

teams. Sign up with SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE

bartender. Starts 7PM. BEER $3/4/S/6 $1 SHOTS

All ages until lOPM FREE Pool after lOPM

Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM Chicken Strip Sand only from 4-7PM $1.50 PBR or Coors Pints $6.SO before 6 PM

PBR $2.2S Everyday ! $2 Kami Shooters DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm

1/2 OFF POOL $1 Beer $1 Wells

$2 Doubles

GAME NIGHT! FREE Pool after lOPM

$1 PBR all night

All ages unb l lOPM

Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM Reu ben Sand w/ fries or

from 4-7PM $1.50 PBR or Coors Pints salad $6.50

Full Bar in Back Room $2 Kami Shooters Spm-Close 1/2 off kids

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! 1/2 OFF POOL items

PBR $2.2S Everyday ! 8pm-Close Pitcher

8 Ball Tournament Sign-up Specials $6/$9/$12

6PM. Starts 7PM. FREE Pool after lOPM

Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM Baby Back Ribs $10.99 from 4-7PM $1.50 PBR or Coors Pints Philly Cheesesteak $7.SO

PBR $2.2S Everyday ! $2 Kami Shooters

1/2 OFF POOL 6pm-Close $4 Grad teas

$3 All beer pints JAZZ NIGHT- Martini FREE Pool after lOPM

Specials

All ages until lOPM

Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM 10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/

from 4-7PM $1.50 PBR or Coors Pints Fries or Salad & Garlic

Full Bar in Back Room $2 Kami Shooters Bread $8.99

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! 8pm-Close $4 Jager

PBR $2.2S Everyday! 1/2 OFF POOL $S DBL Vodka Red Bull

All ages unbl lOPM $6 Jager Red Bull

$2 Kamikaze shots

FREE Pool after lOPM

Daily Happy Hour Bartenders Choice Baby Back Ribs w/Sa lad,

from 4-7PM Fries & ga rlic bread

Full Bar in Back Room $10.99

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! 9 Ball Tournament. 8pm-Close

PBR $2.2S Everyday ! Sign-up at noon . Starts $4 Single/$6 Double

lPM. Jack or Captain

$2 Sierra Nevada

All ages unbl lOPM FREE Pool after lOPM

Daily Happy Hour FREE POOL $S.19 Grad/Garden/

from 4-7PM 1 hr. with every $8 Turkey Burger w/fries

PBR $2.2S Everyday ! purchase or sa lad

All ages until lOPM Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call,

$S Top, $6 Goose

Mimosas $2/flute, $S/pint

$6 Beer Pitchers

FREE Pool after lOPM

FRI.DAY 4-7PM HAPPY HOURI T H E P U e· S C 0 U T S

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y. COM

GoDownlo

$1 Kamikazes GoDownlo $3 Jameson and Skw Special

GoDownlo

$2.SO Pinnacle Cocktails Drink specials!

$2.SO Pint of Sierra Nevada

Half Off Rockstar Cocktails $2 Select Beers

S3 Teas

S2.SO Fireball Shots Drink specials!

$2.SO Pints of Sierra

Nevada VIP Bottle Service

SS.SO Double Pinnacle available

Vodka & Red Bull

$3 Double Well Cocktails

Half Off Rockstar Cocktails

$2.SO Pint of Sierra Nevada

$3 Featured Shot of the SS Bartender 's Choice SS

Night

HALF OFF EVERYTHING Call To Rent For Private

(Except Red Bull and Party

Premium Liquors)

Go Down Lo

~ cf~) ~Y1~9'.9 ~ ~ !I

C HI CO CA

BEAR-E-OKE Happy Hour 11-6PM

select bottles & drafts CLOSED

BURGER MADNESS! S2.7S

Bear Burger w ith fri es

or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.

BEAR W EAR! S2 All Day S3Tea of t he Day

1/2 off while wearing $2 Select Sierra Nevada or Bartender Specials

Bear Wea r. Dom Drafts Happy Hour 4-Spm

MUG CLUB 4-lOPM $2 Kamis -any flavor

TRIKE RACES! All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3 S3 Tea of the Day

Post time @ lOpm. All Day Bartender Specials

W in T-shirts and Bear Happy Hour 4-Bpm

Bucks.

MUG CLUB 4-lOPM

BURGER MADNESS! Happy Hour 11-6PM Buck Night

Bear Burger w it h fri es $2. 7S se lect bottles & 9pm-Close

or sa lad for $S.29. drafts $112oz Select Teas

llam-lOpm. S3 20oz All Teas

S216oz Wells Sl Well Cocktails

$2 Select Bottle Beers

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR Free Happy Hour Food S3 Tea of the Day

BURGER AND FRIES FOR 4PM until it's gone Bartender Specials

ONLY S4.99!

Mon-Sat lOpm - lam. Happy Hour 11-6PM

select we lls, bottles and

pints S2.75

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR $4 Sex On The Beach S3 Tea of the Day

BURGER AND FRIES FOR $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro Bartender Specials

ONLY S4.99 ! ON TAP Football Specials:

Mon-Sat lOpm - lam. Sl Jello Shots Bucket of Beer

7-lOPM S3 Rumpy, Jager Baca rdi Cocktails

and Fireball Southern Comfort

Skyy & Red Bull

BURGER MADNESS! $4 World Famous Bloody Brunch lOam - 2pm

Bear Burger w it h fries Joe Football Specials

or salad for SS.29. SS Premium bloodys

llam-lOpm. your choice of vodka

Champagne Brunch 10am-2pm Every Sunday $3 with purchase of an entree

COME WATCH THE PLAYOFFS

EVERY DAY

Happy Hour- 4-7pm Sl.7S

Pints, Sl.00 Shots, 1/2 off

all Single cocktails,

$1.00 Food items 2 for 1 Burgers llam-Bpm

Happy Hour- 4-7pm Buck

night 9pm-lam

Happy Hour- 4-7pm

1/2 off all cocktails, Sl.75

Drafts, Guest bartenders

every week

Happy Hour- 4-7pm

SO cent well drinks

9-lOpm $2 Kamis,

S2 Fireball, S3 Cherry

Blasters, $2

bottle Beer lOpm-lam

Happy Hour- 4-7pm

SS Fridays 4-Bpm Most

food items and pitchers of

beer are SS

Happy Hour- 4-7pm

Hot dog m enu all day

11am-8pm, All Day and

All Night Tall cans of beer

(24oz) S3.SO, S2 Capri sun

Shots, All Teas S3.SO, Tea

Party 9-llpm 32oz Teas

are S2.50

Happy Hour- 4-7pm

Champagne Brunch

930am-lpm, Every Nfl

Game (20 Tv's), S3 Bloody

marys,

$3 screwdrivers, SS

pitchers of beer

FACE BOOK.COM/SYNTHES ISCH I CO • SYN TH ES ISWEE KLY.COM

S2 Marqis

$3 Cuervo Marqis $2.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM Sl

Dom draft, S2 SN draft,

S2 we lls

Hot Drinks now available

Progress ive Night !

8- lOPM $1 Sierra Pale

Ale, Dom esti cs, Rolling

Rock & we ll cocktail s

up lOPM-close 25C pe r hour-close

Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM Hot Drinks now available

Buck Night 8-close

$1 we ll cocktails, Sierra

Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling

Rock, dom draft

S3 Black Butte

S5 Vodka Red bull

$6.SO Apple Cinnamon

Cider

$3 Hot Licks

$4.SO Double Bacardi

8-9PM Sl pale ale

and dom draft

up 2SC per hour until

close


Power Hour 8-9PM

1/2 off Liquor & Drafts

9PM-Close

S3 Pale Ale Drafts

$9.7S Pale Pitchers


Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM

Sl Dom draft, S2 SN draft,

S2 wells

Power Hour 8-9PM

1/2 off Liquor & Drafts

9-Close Pale Ale Drafts

$9.7S Pale Pitchers


CLOSED

Lounge V1pu1tra

CLOSED

CLOSED

CLOSED

CLOSED

Happy Hour S-BPM

SS House Martinis

$4 Glass of House Wine

S3 Well Cocktails

20% off wine by bottle

Sl off Call liquor

and bottled beer

Happy Hou r 5-8PM

SS House Martinis

$4 Glass of House W ine

S3 Well Cocktails

20% off w ine by bott le

Sl off Call liquor

and bottled beer

CLOSED

WATCH TH. E pLAYOFFS

JAN UARY 13 - JAN UARY 19, 2014 13

THIS WEEK ONLY

21+/930PNl-130AM/229BROADWAYCHICO, CA/WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/LASALLESBAR

229 BROADWAY ST CHICO. CA 95928

14 JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014

BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1STH

RED MOLLY SIERRA NEVADA BIG ROOM The 3 part harmonies from the members of folk I American trio Red Molly, Laurie MacAllister ( guitar, banjo), Abbie Gardner (guitar, Dobro, lap steel guitar}, and Molly Venter (guitar) have been described as " tick tight," which is. The. Best. Description. Ever. $15. 7:30pm

THURSDAY, JANUARY 16TH DIE TIME BADGER, TBA MONSTROS PIZZA Each year, something called " The Mayor's Award for Achievement in the Arts" is awarded to businesses who have contriubted to the advancement of the arts in the Chico. We hereby nominate Monstros because, all ages/ punk rock. All ages, $5. 8pm

FRIDAY, JANUARY 17TH RANDY ROGERS BAND WADE BOWEN EL REY THEATER The Randy Rogers Band continue their unoffically titled " Neverending Tour" with a stop at the El Rey Theater. Expect raucous country music party anthems -- " Fuzzy," and cry-in-your-beer ballads, like their newest lament "What's One More Sad Song." Exactly. $12 advance/ $15 @the door Doors 7:30pm, show 8:30pm.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 1STH NOBUNNY POOKIE AND THE POODLEZ DUFFY'S TAVERN Oft praised for licentiousness, lasciviousness and poptastic punk rock, former Elvis impersonator I grimy rabbit mask wearer/ occasional ball gag aficionado NOBUNNY (all caps one word} hits up Duffy's, with tour-mates Pookie and the Poodlez. $5. lOpm

OTHER NEW AND EXCITING THINGS 15 WEDNESDAY Cafe Coda: Bogg EP release party & Aubrey Debauchery and the Broken Bones tour kickoff. Cities opens! $5 All ages. 8pm

Laxson Auditorium: Golden Dragon Acrobats: Cirque Ziva . Premium/$33, Adult/$28, Senior/$26, Student/ child/$19. 7:30pm

16 THURSDAY 1078 Gallery: American Guitar Masters: Celtic To Contemporary. Guitar virtuosos Peter Janson and Larry Pattis. 7:30pm Blue Room Theatre: Opening night of Venus In Fur. $10. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm.

17 FRIDAY 1078 Gallery: Outside Looking In, Reunion, XtomhanX, Epitaph Of Atlas.

$5. Doors . 7:30pm, show 8pm Blue Room Theatre: Venus In Fur. $12/advance, $15 at the door. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm. The Tackle Box: Country music from Two Steps Down. $2.

18 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: Guitar Project with Warren Haskell & Friends . $10. Doors 7:30, show 8pm

Blue Room Theatre: Venus In Fur. $12/advance, $15 at the door. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm.

Monstro's: M Section, Rum Rebellion, Fight Music, Guerilla Gorilla. All ages. $5. 8pm musicians and singers. 6:30pm

The Tackle Box: Country music from 3 Fingers Whiskey.

SYN TH ESI SWE EKLY.COM

ONGOING EVENTS 13 MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm

Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm. Prints by artist David Plant.

Chico Women's Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm

DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until 10pm

Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings.

Maltese: Open Mic Night. Comedy Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm

14 TUESDAY Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm. Prints by artist David Plant.

Chico Women's Club: Yoga. 9-lOam. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pm

Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+

DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm


Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm

Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-lOpm

LaSalle's: '90s night. 21+

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close

Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm-lam

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm


Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

15 WEDNESDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books:

Open Mic. All ages. 7pm

The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts and Bear Bucks. Post time 10pm. Mug Club 4-lOpm

Cafe Flo: Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm. Prints by artist David Plant.

Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm

DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6pm

Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1.


The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm

Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am

Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-lam

The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, classes 7-9pm


VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana. 7-9pm

Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

16 THURSDAY The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm

Cafe Flo: Happy Hour with Loki and the Entertainment. 5:30-7pm. Flo-n-the Blues with Steven Truskol and The Next Door Blues Band.

Chico Theater Company: Grease. Adults/$20, kids/$12. 7pm

Chico Yoga Center: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson .. 7:30-9:30pm

DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until 10pm


The Graduate: Free pool after 10pm

Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm. Signups start at 6pm

Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8-llpm

LaSalle's: Thirsty Thursdays, featuring Mack Morris

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.

Panama's: Eclectic Nights. Buck night and DJ Eclectic. 9pm

Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-lam


VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover.

Woodstock's: Open Mic Night.

17 FRIDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter Showcase. 7:30pm

The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP

The Bear: DJ Dancing No Cover. 9pm

Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. 11am

Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music showcase. 7-lOpm. Prints by artist David Plant.


Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night Dance Jam with Mark Johnson. $10. 7-8:30pm

Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays. Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm

DownLo: Y, off pool. All ages until 10pm

Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm


The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm

Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pm-midnight.

Maltese: LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm

Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance


party. $3. 9:30pm


18 SATURDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knit

ting Circle. 2-4pm

The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover.

9pm

Cafe Flo: Prints by artist David

Plant.

Cal Skate: Adults only skate night.

$6. 18+.9-llpm

Chico Theater Company: Grease.

Adults/$20, kids/$12 . 7pm.

Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night

Dancing. 10pm-1:30am

DownLo: 9 Ball tournament.

Sign ups noon, starts at lpm.

Empire Coffee: Group show of

figure drawings.

The Graduate: Free Pool after

10pm

Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s

and 80s music. The Molly Gunn's

Revival! 8pm-midnight

LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm

Maltese: Live Music. 9pm

Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm-lam

Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall. 5-9pm


19 SUNDAY Cafe Flo: Prints by artist David Plant.


DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm


LaSalle's: Karaoke. 9pm

Maltese: Walking Dead Viewing Party. 9pm

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm

WARM UP THE WINTER AT SICILIAN CAFEI

1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "••?) 530.3~5.2233 (G•..,-

JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014 15

ON THE TOWN PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

16 JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014

OLD CROCK BY JAIME O'NEI LL - JAIM EA NDKAREN O NE ILL@G MA ILCO M

RUBBER DUCKY DAY ROLLS 'ROUND AGAIN

In a recent fit of the most idle of idle curiosity, I did a Google search on important dates for the month of January, and boy howdy, did I learn a lot. I'm guessing most people didn't know some of what I learned, either, and have been coasting through the first month, year in and year out, not knowing what they should have been observing or celebrating.

For instance, most people are utterly clueless about the fact that this is National Oatmeal Month, which seems well chosen since oatmeal is generally less appealing in August. It is also Hot Tea Month, and National Clean Up Your Computer Month, making this a good time to brew a pot of tea while spending an hour or so deleting all the crud that deposited itself into your computer's memory bank over the preceding 12 months. And, if energies are a little depleted after the holidays, you might crank 'em up by observing National Gourmet Coffee month, though you can also celebrate Candy Month with some serious candy consumption to give you that sugar high so helpful in shoveling out the post-Christmas untidiness.

This is also Random Action Month, a time that has been set aside, apparently, to encourage people to do something, or anything at all, just so long as they do it without plan, reason, or desired outcome.

Busy people who don't have the time to devote a whole month to such observances might choose, instead, to celebrate a designated week in January.

"Cuckoo Dancing Week (Jan. 11-18) will suit those who wish to honor the comedy team of Laurel and Hardy by having parties in which celebrants do the little dance Laurel and Hardy used to do in some of their films. The idea is to pay homage to human silliness and, given that there's so much of it, it seems only right that silliness should have its own week.

January is also Man Watchers Week, Hunt for Happiness Week, Women's Self Empowerment Week, and Intimate Apparel Market Week. Is there a theme running through all that? Probably not.

The month-and the year-kicks off with one of the most appropriate of all imaginable observances for our species. January 2nd-8th is Someday We'll Laugh About This Week, so let's all wish for the opportunity to laugh sooner rather than later at whatever "this" turns out to be.

Anyone with a better idea for how to start the new year might want to see about getting recognition for "I've Got a Better Idea" Month. That just might turn out to be an all-inclusive observance. But before you get overly excited about that first great idea that comes to mind, be advised that in addition to the observances mentioned in this piece-- all of which are real--there are dozens of other things being honored in January by a day, or a week, or the entire month. On the 7th, for instance, you may have failed to make plans to celebrate "I'm Not Going to Take It Anymore" Day." In the spirit of friendship and goodwill, however, I will accept late cards offering me good wishes for that occasion.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

ANATOMY OF HALF AN HOUR BY DAN O'BRIEN

What bearing does a half-hour have on us when there are so many hours, day, weeks, and years in our lifetime? Thirty minutes, eighteen hundred seconds, one forty-eighth of a day, one sixteen thousand five hundred twentieth of a year. That is not to say that time is unimportant or unfair, but there are many of us who have a slanted perception of how time ultimately affects us. You definitely aren't going to be cooking a turkey dinner, but you could go for a jog.

So why the lack of time?

As if some were given more time than others?

The answer is simple. Perception is the key to life, some see only what they cannot have and others see what they already do. That perception leads us to see that responsibility of our own choices is what frames our lives.

The elderly reflect back on their years of worry and realize that there was more around them than they believed. They once saw life as a race too which you could never beat the clock. Now, they experience life anew, returning to place and participating in things long forgotten. As adults, we are often faced with the overwhelming certainty that we will not finish what we have started; that there is a distinct possibility that our IN box will be much fuller than our OUT box. We race through life as though each precious second was wasted if we stopped for a moment. But, it is this life that we race

through that we are truly missing. The elderly see life as it was: the simplicities that make it great and the complexities that often leave adults confused and bewildered as to how they survive.

Children are beset with such wonder of the world that they are fundamentally unburdened with a need to categorize time. They are free of this because they simply wander about simply experiencing the world around them. Their choices and their consequences are simple to them because they are seeing them for the first time; they will not slant them and pervert them. A child will not be heard saying that they don't have enough time to finish playing in the woods. They understand the simplicities that we often take for granted.

Imagine if you devoted a half an hour a day to reading to your child at night instead of plopping them in front of the television because you believe that "you don't have time." How many times have you sat on the couch and watched sitcoms endlessly. What if this was used for something constructive instead? You could learn to speak a language in a half an hour each day.

Most waste time, but there are those who find a focus for their lives: a purpose. Whatever walls you have erected in your life have been placed there by you and the choices that you have made. Time is not the culprit of your ills, but human action (or inaction for that matter). Focus on what you want and stop complaining because, honestly, everyone else is too preoccupied to listen.


PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY ON THE TOWN

JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014 17

ON THE TOWN PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

18 JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014

CONSIDER THE PLATYPUS BY MONA TREME

LOVE LETTERS

I

WATCH OUT " ·¥ ,, ;/ l \ II/

--~--~~()~ ~ 'l.'/t\ ~ -

~•0 e)1, _,_ '''.:.;: - --.-.. -- - ·

Getting real tired of your shit, motorists.

Why do people become arrogant and borderline-homicidal when they get behind the wheel? It's like Death Race 2000 out there. I'm talking to you, person who looks me right in the eye as they speed up to blast through a yield sign that I'm just starting across. I'm also looking at you, person who apparently thinks it's giggle-worthy to sidle just a little way into the bike line right in front of me, or who passes within a few inches of my left knee. Is that what turns your crank, to feel like you've got some life-or-death power because you're driving and I'm bicycling? Or yelling lame crap out the window as you speed by, thinking that makes you superior or something? Hah, you must be a real winner when you're not safe in your great big metal box, Sparky!

"Damn bikes need to stay in the bike lane," you may whine. Yeah, right ... just a couple of wee little issues there. Bike lanes randomly appear and disappear along Chico's streets; when they are present, they're also populated with parked cars, leaf piles, Christmas trees, broken glass, etc. I'd love to see drivers handle roads in that condition. Aww, your tire hit a big nasty pothole? That's adorable. Try navigating around a still-juicy dead cat while avoiding cars (both moving and stationary), single shoes, and busted beer bottles, in a three-foot-wide lane, with little to no physical protection. Yeah, pretty sure it's not bicyclists who are the "weak" ones in this conversation.

Getting real tired of your shit, bicyclists.

Okay, seriously. What is the irresistible attraction to wearing black at night? Acquire a light or three. Wear light or reflective clothing. Stick to the side of the road-on the RIGHT side, genius-and quit randomly weaving in and out of traffic like a squirrel with a Bumble Ball up its ass. The day draws ever closer when I'm just not going to swerve when some two-wheeled idiot glides in front of me out of nowhere, confident in their litigious safety. Someday it may be worth it to just deal with the lawsuit-and the satisfaction of removing a chucklehead from the gene pool-rather than go through cardiac rehab. And while I've got your attention: when you 're on a bike, you're a vehicle too, which means-holy crap! Stop signs apply to you! Can you conduct yourselves accordingly? I know you can.

As for the self-righteous contingent of the jerkwad bicyclist tribe-the Lance Armstrong wannabes and the crunchy "look at us reducing our carbon footprint" types-you need to get over yourselves. Like yesterday. Yes, you're so very healthy; congratula-tions! And taking up nearly all of the road by riding three abreast or sauntering leisurely across an intersection while glaring at drivers contribute to your cause HOW, exactly? Trust me, sweeties, you're not that precious.

Wake up, share the road, and quit being dicks. Both of you.

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y. COM

LIKE, LITERALLY BY LARRY MANG ELWURZ EL - EDITORIAL@SYNTHESIS NET

PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE ORDINARY, BY THE ORDINARY

Volume 4, Tattered and Lost: Cakes, Picnics, and Watermelon

Bins of old photographs are easily found at thrift stores and antique shops. I seem to remember one such bin of yellowed images at a Chico antique shop {I forget the exact store) with a sign that read "Instant Relatives - 4/$1." I love looking through such things; interpreting the stories and feelings within the eyes of the photo

graphed. What was happening here, what were these folks up to, what was their story - and why are these pictures here in this basket and not claimed by a family member?

Talk about a marginalized group-who speaks for the lost photographs? Who is here to lend a voice to millions of frozen moments in time that are sitting silenced in boxes, under beds, or in attics?

Such a Medium does exist and her name is Tattered and Lost.

I'll let the author explain with words from her site:

Tattered and Lost is the online identity of one collector of vernacular photography, found photos, vintage snapshots, ephemera, or whatever else you prefer to call them. At the website Tattered and Lost Photographs she shares some of the images she's found at flea markets, antique stores,

and estate sales. Seeing the world from a quirky point of view helps her to make sense of some of the odd images she finds.

Collecting vintage photographs starts out innocent enough with a few snapshots here and there, but at some point it becomes a bit more obsessive and you find yourself longing for the next image that makes you laugh or ponder the irrefutable confusion of being human. This book, Tattered and Lost: Cakes, Picnics, and Watermelon, the fourth in a series, shows the quirky world of sharing food from the 1890s to the 1970s in the United States. Sit back and enjoy watching people cut cakes (some people do it with such style!}, go on picnics without your relatives, and watch people eat watermelon. Yes, eat watermelon. An odd category for sure, but one sure to make you smile.

I was given Volume 4, Tattered and Lost: Cakes, Picnics, and Watermelon as a Christmas gift, and it is incredible. If you enjoy an anthropological journey of the silly, and at times, hollow sadness, please visit http://tatteredandlostphotographs.blogspot. com/ where you can also order the books and be captivated by persons, many long since passed on, staring back at you-simply living life amongst the pages.

We owe it to them.

Never forget.


PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID ON THE TOWN

JAN UA RY 13 - JAN UA RY 19, 2014 19

A STORY SO SWEET IT SHOULD BE A DISNEY MOVIE BY MICHELE FRENCH

This is a story of love found, love lost, found again, lost briefly, but, in the end those who loved came together to be with one another forever.

When my beloved Sharkey died in April of 2011, I vowed I would let my remaining kitties live out the rest of their lives and not replace any of them until they all were no more. About a week after Sharkey's demise I walked downtown through a residential area south of the campus and passed a student rental ; a little, white, gingerbread Victorian home that has neon beer signs perpetually decorating the windows. As I walked by, the ill-kept bushes in front of the porch rustled and a small, dark shape rocketed across the narrow yard and wrapped itself around my ankles.

Of course, it was a cat, but-oh, my God!-what a condition she was in! I could tell before I even touched her that she was in terrible shape. Whatever her physical problems, she didn't seem to be in any emotional distress. She was grinning up at me as if she'd found the Mother Lode (and in the end, she had), purring so loudly that passersby on the other side of the street probably heard her. When I did begin to pet her, her hipbones jutted out sharply and I could feel each and every one of her ribs. Her fur was jet black around her beautiful face, but on her body it was rust red. She was, clearly, close to total starvation.

To say I was in a quandary would be an understatement. I couldn't take her with me. I didn't know for sure if she was a stray. She was sweet and friendly and, seemingly, so happy. I decided I'd get her some food that evening to help her through her the night, and talk to whoever lived in the Victorian jewel box later.

There's no tactful way to tell to someone, "Your kitty's starving to death." The girls living in the house were coldly civil, but I could tell by their expressions what was on their minds was, "Interfering old bat!" They protested that they did feed "Smokey," and that, no, I couldn't adopt her; she was too attached to their other cat, an obese, snotty pastel calico. "Yeah, sure!" I thought. Grudgingly, they allowed me to bring over extra snacks. I found out later that "Smokey" did, indeed, attach herself readily to other cats. I fervently hoped at the end of the semester they'd abandon her.

At the end of the semester the girls and "Smokey" vanished. I then hoped that wherever she was, she was being better taken care of than she had been before. I walked by the house where I met her, but there was never any sign of her there. Fast forward to the middle of July that same year.

Walking past another old house, this one on Cherry Street, I couldn't help notice there was raucous birthday party going on inside. Through the open door I could hear someone drunkenly droning, "Happy birrrrthday to yooooo ... ,"

20 JAN UARY 13 - JAN UARY 19, 2014

over and over again. Besides, chalked on the sidewalk and the walk up to the porch were things like, "#*&@#! Birthday Here!" Glancing from the walk to the porch I saw a sofa and, on the sofa's back, a little black cat. She was wrapped around my ankles in two seconds.

A bored voice came from within, "Ya ' want 'er? She's just been hangin' around here." One thing I noticed immediately was that she was in much better shape than the first time I'd seen her. She was plump and her fur was jet black all over. I said I'd be back later. Providentially I then met my friend, Anna, who, even though she had her lovely doggie, Osa, with her, said she'd give me and my new four-footed roommate a ride home. As I settled into the passenger seat I burbled that I was going to name my new kitty Nyx after the Ancient Greek goddess of the night and sleep.

When Nyx got in she let us know she was not pleased at the presence of Osa. She kept trying to get out of the very rolled up windows. By the time we got back to my apartment Nyx was in extreme emotional meltdown and the worst was yet to come. As I got out of the car my neighbor's very noisy puppy woofed us a booming welcome which was just too much for Nyx. She struggled out of my

arms, roared across the street in front of an oncoming car and disappeared into the berry bushes in the backyard of the big, yellow house on the other side.

That night I had I a dream. It was probably was a premonition that I'd find her again eventually. I dreamed that it rained so much we had a flash flood and I took to the swollen river of my street in canoe. As I paddled along looking for Nyx she soon paddled up beside me. She was grinning like she'd found her treasure again and I was at peace. A week later I went out in my yard for no particular purpose at 7:00 in the morning, and there she was, slinking along in front of the white picket fence around the yard of the big, yellow house looking for something to eat.

She was thin again, her lovely fur was matted and she'd evidently lost a fight-she had a sore on the inside of one of her back legs, but we were together at last. I combed her fur, the wound healed quickly and she was soon plump. She's still with me, healthy and playful. It's weird and so difficult to explain, but Nyx radiates such happiness, she makes me happy just looking at her.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

HOW TO CHANGE THE WORLD BY AMY OLSON

Recently, a friend of mine was sauntering casually through Safeway (I'm pretty sure she goes there just to show off her casual saunter), when she encountered a scene which she described thusly :

"I overheard a woman at the grocery store become a TREMENDOUS bitch over the lack of selection in organic salad dressings. It was a beef she'd had with Safeway for a long time, and it was time for "us" to stop letting the corporation dictate our unhealthy lifestyle choices. And I realized that while many of us have resolved to be kinder, gentler people, an equal number of us may have resolved to stand more firmly and aggressively on our principles."

This whole thing got me thinking about life strategies; about changing the world, and about happiness in general.

There are several aspects of this incident we could focus on. For one thing, there's the disruption to the force when a person makes a stink in what would otherwise be a very pleasant and orderly environment. Grocery stores are about the closest thing to home in the hierarchy of public places-you can go there in your pajamas, and that says a lot. I could never walk into the peaceful community pantry and throw down a soapbox, no matter how much I think every store should carry this one brand of frozen eclairs my mom used to buy when I was kid. Write a letter or something, Crazypants-people are stoned and they're trying to remember what they came in here for.

For that matter, there's the culture that made her feel entitled to that kind of behavior. I have no idea why, but a lot of people who are obsessed with organic foods seem to also think every situation is an opportunity for activism. Can't you just believe in health and sustainable farming without being at war with everyone who doesn't seem to care as much as you do? That just sounds like a wad of stress that's probably going to counteract any of the dubious health benefits of that salad dressing, and it's making the world a darker and angrier place. You may think you're advancing your cause, but you're actually giving the organic food movement a bad name.

There's also the fact that she could've just skipped the dilemma and gone to a place that specializes in organic foods, like Chico Nat or S&S, but instead chose to go to a regular grocery store (over and over, knowing the selection they had). Which is on top of the fact that salad dressing is literally the easiest thing you could possibly make; it takes less time to whip up than it does to choose and purchase.

For people like this unfortunate woman, life is way harder than it should be. They set themselves up in scenarios where they will be dissatisfied by the environment, blame others for not meeting their expectations, take a symbolic stand over whatever issue (something that by definition means you're blowing it way out of proportion), and try to control the people around them through negativity. Plus she's eating way too many salads, and it's probably making her extra cranky because she's never full.

On the flip side of all this, there are the people who are shining beacons of joy.

Over the holidays I had the pleasure of meeting the perfect person to use as an example of this; it's like her whole life was fated to be just as it was so I could have a good contrast for this article.

When Doris was 23 years old, she had pretty much accepted that she would never get married, and she was cool with it. One day her sister tried to talk her into a double date; her husband had a friend who was about to ship off for the Navy the next day, and they wanted to take him out dancing.

Doris wasn't really into the idea, but she hadn't eaten, so she went with it. As it turned out, those jerks went out to dinner before they picked her up, but the dude (Benjamin) was pretty cool; when she told him how hungry she was, he took her out to a restaurant anyway where she housed a giant steak dinner while they all watched.

The date was good, and they started writing letters back and forth. The next time she saw him they got married. He had planned the whole thing with the help of his Navy buddies, and even though she had bought a wedding dress and didn't have it with her, she went with it.

About a year into their marriage, Doris underwent surgery that left her unable to have children. She knew that this


wasn't what either of them had expected for their lives, and she told Benjamin that if he didn't want to stay married she would totally understand, and offered to let him go so he could have a family with someone else. He was like, "No way! I want to spend my life with YOU."

Which he did. They went with it, and were married for over 60 amazing years before he passed away. They lived all over the world, went to fancy balls and cocktail parties, and made lifelong friends (who had kids and grandkids they could play with before going back to their immaculate home together). When Doris looks back at her collection of memories, she glows.

It's that casual embrace of life that ties everything together. This is not a person who never faced any difficulties; this is a person who was, herself, never difficult. The secret to a beautiful attitude like that might be a little deeper than choice, it might be something in the sugar and spice she's made of, but I definitely walked away from my interaction with her brimming with love and inspiration, transformed by her happiness.

That's the world I want to live in. That's the way I want to navigate the twists and turns. I want to be 93 years old with a bright, crinkly eyed smile, sit in my lovely pink and white living room, look back on the many happy years I shared with wonderful people, and say, "We had a GREAT time."

JA NUA RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 20 14 21

H ARIES The conflict is real but it is also negotiable. The public demands more from you this week. Be sure to cultivate your best talents and skills. Wednesday's full moon has something to do with your mother and the older women in your life. It's o.k. to be wrong and it's natural to be angry.

LIBRA Doing things your way feels right at this time. Mars in your first house is driving you like a warrior or a race car driver. Relationships on the home front may be a little bit sticky with Venus in retrograde. Take care of problems as they come up. The full moon will bring a boost to your career. Friday and Saturday look good for going to parties, and cracking jokes.

TAURUS Think like you've never ever really had true love before. Most people are somewhat incapable due to their own self obsessions. Wait, this may just be your problem. If you want or need love you are in for a challenge. It's better to focus on building things slowly. The full moon may include a poetic breakthrough. Get to know neighbors and close friends .

SCORPIO Blooming where one is planted isn't always easy. They say that a prophet is never honored in his home town. Be serious about your goals, eliminate distractions and seek the highest possibilities. Let the back-biters have their say. You can't expect to change everyone. The full moon rules travel, higher knowledge and a generous and spiritual attitude.

GEMINI You are smarter than usual. It's time to get a head start on some new knowledge. Don't take things too personally or you'll fail before you even begin. The full moon will help you to sing a new song. It might also give you a bad case of the munchies. Sex, death, birth, and occult studies have been your obsession. Be smart, but be compassionate.

SAGITTARIUS Values are still at the forefront of what you are perceiving. God lives in the praises of His people, so begin each day by saying uplifting things. Discover the alchemy of magic and expecting the best. You still need to deal with some difficult karma. The full moon will expand your knowledge of the great mysteries. You ' ll probably have to submit to other peoples will.

5 CANCER This week puts you in the driver's seat. You are both more attractive and more fortunate than usual. You are likely to be blessed by reaching new goals in creative fields. Keep a spiritual attitude when it comes to the full moon. Many people will be wearing their emotions on their sleeve. Money will be made later in the week.

CAPRICORN This is the final week of Capricorn. Generally speaking we save the best for last. Transformation and deep insights continue to be had. Protect your home from sudden shocks or loose electrical wires. The full moon will effect your relationships in a most positive way. Negotiating stress between work and home is the challenge. The weekend may contain some adventure .

JANUARY13-JANUARY19 BY KOZ MCKEV

LEO You begin the week trying to fit your work schedule into the schedule of others. Nothing comes easy and health concerns may need to be addressed. The full moon deals directly with your personal karma. Your intuition is high especially on Tuesday and Wednesday. Stay with the task at hand and try to help others along the way.

AQUARIUS In some ways you feel as though you have been left in the dark. Your spiritual life and personal karma are the focus this week. Helping others that are isolated is the quickest way to changing your karma for the better. The full moon may effect your health as well as your work environment. The weekend looks good for romance.

VIRGO This week may have something to do with your social standing and the karma that you've made for yourself. On the positive note you are surging with creative energy and have a willingness to be loving. You are looking for reliable friends. The full moon has you socializing with prosperous friends. The moon will be in Virgo Saturday night through Sunday giving you an extra boost.

PISCES I see you wanting to escape with your friends somewhere. I also see you personally being able to transmit some sort of healing and comfort. The full moon will bring out some of your finest creative potential . Be willing to work towards an exotic goal. Pay attention to messages in dreams, license plates and addresses. Relax on Saturday night and Sunday.

Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 17 BCTV, 1s heard on 90/FM KZFR Chk:o, and also available by appOJi7tment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozm!C:[email protected]

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GREAT WINTER READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey

A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group.

In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe.

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