Today : Auditorium12.20, League ofNations Debate,

Sedgwick vs. Angus

Tomorrow : Auditorium

12.20, Stephen Leacock

3 .30, Allard de Riddert1t, 11bgsstgPublished Twice Weekly by the Publications Board of theUniversity of British Columbi a

a .-Vol . XIV

VANCOUVER, B . C., TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 1937

`ROBIN HOOD' CAST NAMED ;DE RIDDER History's Hottest

INITIAL Hijinks Held

CALLUM THOMPSON IN LEAD LECTUREMale Crashes Me tNo Mercy

will. ElliotTo Play Maid Maria n

When opening night arrives onFebruary 18th for the Musical So-oiety's operatic produotipn, RobinHood, there will be an experiencedcant of players answering to thebaton of C . Haydn Williams, con-ductor. Many of theme players ar ealready proven leads of forme rleads.OP'RA MINDE D

Everyday the members of the So-ciety are becoming more and mor eopera minded . If anyone could hav esoon the interest evinced in theMetropolitan Opera production, Car -men, on Saturday afternoon theywould have agreed that it sufferedwell for the production of their ownopera . Bill Cameron, the president ,was the owner of the radio overwhich the opera was very well re-ceived. However, unfortunately,they were disturbed by a call totheir own opera . Mr. E. V. Young,the dramatic director, took the oastthrough the first act .

Since this act is very complicatedit involves considerable work on thepart of the chorus and principles .Leading the principles in the titlerole is Callum Thompson with theromantic lead . Callum appeared i nthe Society's production of the Mi-kado in a similar role as Nan-Kipoo .The score gives Callum an abund-ant opportunity to display his finetenor voice .

The lyric soprano voice of Will aElliot wil lbe heard in the oppositerole of Maid Marian Willa come sfrom the Interior of B . C. and oncewas a member of the chorus of theGarden of the Shah .

The cultured voice of Kay Patter-son will be heard in the other lead-ing soprano role as Annabel . Kayhas had operatic experience In To-ronto .CONTRALTO

Playing opposite her and theo-retically a boy, but written into thescore as a contralto, Is Marjori eThompson as Allan a Dale . Mar-jorie's voice is full and rich and wil lform a splendid contrast to theother feminine leads . There weresome knotty problems concernedwith the choosing of Allan a Dale,most of which were the finding ofa suitable voice in a young womanwho could, with a little imagination,be taken for a boy.

One of the other contestants fora part, Jean Walton, was chosen to ,be Dame Darden, the ratherstraight-laced mother of Annabel.James Curie, as the bass lead ofWill Scarlet, will impress the audi.once by his ability to reach the low-er notes.

FLATUS 'In the leading tenor role of Sir

Guy is Tetsuo Sanmiya . His pleas-ing tenor voice is expected to be afeature of the performance . Takingthe parts of Little John and theSherriff of Nottingham are Lewi sFreeman and Gordon Heron, wh oare the possessors of excellent bad-tone voices.

Bill Cameron will assume thecomical role of the portly FriarTuck. Bill's only fault is that heisn't portly. Kay Washinton, theproduction manager is worryingabout whether it will be cheaper t ofatten Bill up for the part or stuffhim with feathers . So far nothinghas been decided.

Successful members of the chorusare: Sopranos — Carter, Butler,Barns, Muttart, Shone, Owens,Chutter, Forst, Eedy and Nuttall .The altos include McLeod, Busby ,Campbell, Morris, Brooks, McKel-lar, McEwen, Baker and Twins .Among the tenors are Ford, White .burst, Dixan, Butler, Wilcox, Rob-ertson, Moyle, Fulton and Hind .Baritones and Basses are Butler,Rush, Patch, Wood, McLellan, Bak-er and Lightall .

Anniversary BookFor Grad Class

Copies of the University An •

nlversary Book will be distri -buted by the Registrar's Officeto members of the Graduatin gClass In all Faculties from

January 12 to 19. This notice

will not apply to students wh oalready possess copies .

Debater

CourUHYtof Arlon*

ALEX. MacDONALDAlex. MacDonald, who is leavingtoday with Len Martin, to carryU . B. C.'s McGowan Cup offen-sive to , other universities ofWestern Canada . On all occa-sions they will advocate in -creased Canadian contributionto Imperial defence .

Speech SpecialistTo Lecture Here

Directing a new activity whoseinterest is becoming more and moregeneral on the campus, Miss Mar-jorie Gullan, lecturer in SpeechTraining at the Uuivewslty of Lon -don Institute of Education, arrivesshortly in Vancouver with is :rf terecourse of interest to many 'eider-grads .

Miss Gillian's pioneer work inchoral speech training alai i-: themaking of wrens speaking ci .oirs istoday being recognized throughoutthe English-speaking world .

Her methods of speech trainin gare being studied and put into ef-fect in the school programmes ofEngland and into some of the pro-vincial and state educational pro-grammes of Canada and the U.S.A.Some of our modern poets havebeen inspired to write poems forher especial use . Masedield's "Car -goes" was written for a verse -speaking choir, and T . S. Eliot's"Murder in the Cathedral," with it schorus of the women of Canterbury ,probably was inspired by her work .

Miss Gullan's visit to Vancouve rshould be an inspiration to all lov-ers of poetry, to those interested inthe theatre and to all who are en-gaged in teaching spoken Englis h

She will be in Vancouver theweek of January 18.28, and duringthat time will give a Teachers'Demonstration class, a public lec-ture and two courses in speechtraining and choral verse speaking,the one for junior grades and the„ther for senior work .Teachers' Demonstration : Jan. 18,

8 p .m., King Edward High Schoo lAuditorium .

Public Lecture: Jan. 19, 8 p.m .,King Edward High School Audi-torium.

Junior Course : Jan. 20, 4.18 p.m .Jan. 28, 9 a.m .

Senior Course : Jan. 20.22, 8 p.m .,Jan. 23, 10.80 a.m., VancouverArt Gallery.The fee for either course is $8.80,

or 111 .00 for single lectures.Registration for the courses may

be made through the secretary ofthe Players' Club .

Aggie Prof.Sleeps In Stack s

A siren-like sound disturbed th estacks. Hastily a Senior plugge dher ears. It was just the fourthday after returning to the academi cInstitution and the New Year'sresolutions were still in effect .

The sound persisted . It had nowobtained a persuasive quality .

With reckless air the ardentstudent cast aside all resolves, an dtip-toed cautiously past the cel lfrom whence came the invitingmurmur .

Horrors — an Aggie professorsnoring!

Elsie de Ridder Wil lAssist WednesdayAfternoon

T HE first lecture on musicby Allard de Ridder will

be given tomorrow (Wednes-day) in the Auditorium at8.80 p.m. Mr. Ridder will beassisted by Eleje de Ridder atthe piano and by a quartettecomposed of members of th eMusical Society.

It is hoped that a large numbe rof students will respond to thi sopportunity of learning somethingabout the background and meanin gof music. The lectures do not presuppose any musical knowledge an dare arranged just as much for th elayman as for the musician .

The lectures will be approximate .lyly one hour In length and wil lbe amply illustrated throughout.At the first lecture reference wil lbe made to the Jewish Ritual, theGregorian Chant, Church Hymns,Madrigals, Old English Songs andEach Chorale .

No charge will be made . Any-one interested is invited to attend .

Neo-ClassicismAt Art Club

The Art Club will most at th ehome of Mr. Jack ehadbelt, 4718West Fourth Avenue, on Wednes-day, January 1a, at 8 .00 p.m. Nee-elaoslelem will be dleeussed .

Prof. Gage Speaks ForAstronomical Society

A meeting of the Royal Astron-omloal Society of Canada, Vancou-ver Centre, will be held In Solana *200, Tuesday, January 12, at 8.1 8p.m. The speaker will be Prof. W.H. Gage and the subplot, "Sta rClusters and Nebulae ."

"To the left of me, Joan Blundel lwas drinking some terrible lookingconcoction . She is very petite, andmuch slimmer than she looks in herpictures. She was in make-up, giv-ing rather a sun-tan effect, and sh ehad terrific false eyelashes . How-ever, I didn't get a very good lookat her as she seemed to resent bein gstared at. I just couldn't helpwatching Anita Louise, though, forshe is even more beautiful in lifethan she is on the screen, and herblonde hair is simply gorgeous. Shewas surrounded with men, directors ,writers and other actors—and asshe talked, she kept giving littl etosses of her head. Errol Flynnwas there, too, and he came overand talked to Anita Louise for ashort time. I saw Hugh Herberteating there. He had just been in-troduced to some ladies, and wasgiggling and cutting up exactl ylike he does In his pictures ."MONOTON Y

She had the fortune to be shownaround the lot, and saw several sets

In a gorgeous riot of colour, hi-larity and humour, Hi Jinx, annualand private celebration of the U . B .C . co-eds, wee a great success Mon-day night, with about 200 appropri-ately gowned damsels present.What with freaki, tea-cup reader sdressed in Oriental and Hindu cos-tumes, coloured balloons, streamers ,cheer-leaders, booths, slot machines,refreshments consisting of punch,coffee, cake and sandwiches, anddramatic entertainment, the gym-nasium had undergone a startlin gtransformation, and was a verycreditable circus .

The principal entertainment tookthe form of skits arranged by thevice-presidents of the variousclasses . Mary Covernton, repreuen.tive of Arts '40, directed a, serie sof attractive "Scenes from theFamily Album." "Shadow Play : anoperation," was the intriguing titleof the play presented by Arts '8 9under the direction of Miriam Cos -ens. Beverley Cunningham, Arts'88, put on "Hens the Home-Break-er," a triangle story with a surpris eending. Arts '87 resented a farc etitled "Television," innocently pur-porting to be a television broadcastof the costumes present.

Some of these costumes were par-ticularly ingenious . Audrey Her-wood appeared as a Hungaria npeasant, in a turquoise blue skirtwith a red organdie apron. MadgeNeill was an Indian girl, Mines-ba-ba to be exact . Beth Evans, anuproariously funny clown, stood onher bead during the course of theevening and performed many othe rdifficult feats.

Miriam Comma wore a beautifulSwedish costume, consisting ofblack skirt, coloured shawl an dscarlet blouse. Betty Street was artEgyptian mummy, enveloped insheets . with only eyes and mout hshowing .

Four co-eds combined resourcesand appeared as a walking comi cstrip. Betty Leslie was Sweet Pea ,Anna Root, Wimpy ; JeanetteBrown the great Pop-Eye, and Shei-la Hebb, Olive Oil .

used in recent pictures. Sheglimpsed Bette Davis doing severa lshots from the "Marked Woman,"and as a result decided there wouldbe more monotony than glamour t omovie work . Miss Davis would si tunder the Kliegs and repeat a fe wwords ,then would wait while th elights were adjusted, before she re-turned to repeat the same words.This one scene was shot a numberof times.

On another set, Pat O'Brien andHenry Fonda were up a pole, andStu Erwin was pitching horse -shoes.

Norah Gibson's dominant impres-sion of the lot was that everybodywas waiting. Stars and stage-hands alike waited, and extras inheavy make-up and costumes wait:ed, broiling under the sun. She wasalso impressed with the marvellou sbeauty of the extras, who seemedto possess perfect figures.

Although she had dinner at th eBrown Derby, she had to contentherself with looking at the famou scartoons on the walls, as none ofthe celebrities appeared .

From Hollywood she went toPalm Springs for a short stay, butthough several of the stars werestaying there, she did not see anyof them. Eddie Cantor, Shirle yTemple and Arline Judge were holi-daying there . Robert Taylor wasalso there, at the El Dorado, butNorah did not manage to see him ,though she wandered through theluxuriant gardens for a time.

California sunshine is not all itis advertised to be, she found, fo rit rained heavily most of the time.In San Francisco it poured so heav-ily that her party was formed totake a taxi to the Grauman's Chi-nese Theatre, only six blocks away .Weather was altogether differentat Palm Springs, where the dayswere very hot, and the nights were"cold, clear and gorgeous ."

On Prom Committee

Coerl-r of AberBEVERLEY CUNNINGHAM

Beverley Cunningham, vice -president of Arts '38, who isbusying her slight self withglowing plans for the Junio rProm of January 28. MalcolmBrown, Helen Crosby, Ron An-drews, Mary Craig, Dave Lewi sand John Bird, all of the '38executive, are likewise con-cerned.

Faculties Are

Skittish An d

Recalcitran tCheckups on senior class layout s

now in process divulge interestingstatistics on the reliability of thevarious faculties in being photo-graphed, or "mugged ." Science andAgriculture, steeped in the facultyspirit, have obliged in tote . Com-merce is skittish and spasmodic, bu ttends to get there . But Arts—ah,Arts, numerically and proportion-ally, is most recalcitrant and leastco-operative .

This is important : The Seniorslisted below, in Commerce andArta, are naked to call promptlyat the Publications Office, andindicate whether or not they aregoing to have a picture taken.The Totem staff must know oneway or the other immediately .

COMMERCE: STAN COPP,$ELEN DAWE, NORMAN MAR-IN, MARGARET PORTER .

ARTS : JEAN B A L F O U R,RALPH BELL, HUGH FARQU-HAR, FLORENCE GARRISON,DOUG SCOTT, JOSEPH TERRY,MARY WARDEN, ROSCOE WIL-LIAMS .

NOT legThe next meeting of the Inter-

national Relations Club will be heldat the home of Mrs. F. W. Smelts,2445 West 8th Avenue, on January14. Dr. Sage will speak on the Brit-ish Cabinet, and the annual electionof officers will take place . Mem-bers are requested to notice thatthe meeting will be on Thursday,not Wednesday, as usual.

Monkeys Smarter Than

Physics ClassPhysics 2 students were startle d

out of their lethargic sombulano ea little while ago by the sudde nexcursion, on the part of thei rlearned guide and mentor, Dr. G .Shrum, into the realm of practicalmathematics.

It seethe that all the monkeys inAfrica could do better than his Phy-sics 2 class. For says the sage, theprobability of a student answeringa question correctly if he does no tknow his subject is very remote.In comparison, he claims that i fone of our tree-climbing ancestorsof the dark continent were placedbefore a typewriter h would, in thecourse of his numerous elapping son the keys . spell out a perfectl yauthentic word. Similarly, if al lthe apes from Africa were placedoelore machines it is also possibl ethat they might write the Encylopoedia Britannica .

Evidently, from the nature o fsome of the

No. 22

Thursday next at 12.20, Arts '88will assemble in Arts 100. Therewill be nominations, from the floor ,of several eligible female Juniors .These will be voted on at themeeting, and of them will be elect-ed one oo.ed of each complexiontype. The elected trio will endeav-or to retain its Poise throughoutthe week while a ticket ballot, us-ing numbered stubs of dance-saletickets, will determine the pro to msovereign, be she flaxen-haired,dark, or titian .

"Personalities do not enter," Mr.Brown stated with solid conviction."The interest and enthusiasm ofthe Junior Class are the only fac-tors involved. With the Grill an dMart Kenney and a plate supperand tickets at 12.80 the couple ,and a gorgeous Junior Queen, ourparty cannot help but be a rousin gsuccess. "

January 28 is the date .

BLUNDERBUS

GROANS--NO

SARDIS TRIP

Faithful Practice; HighSpirits All to No Avail ;Pocketbooks Fattened

"On to Sardis" was the cry of th eIntermediate A girls, the Intermedi-ate A and Senior B boys all las tweek on the campus. Bob Scott,chief representative of that thriv-ing town at this institute of learn-ing, had arranged the trip for th eteams and the town bad advertisedthe event far and wide. AllisterGrant, Inter. A manager, wore outtwo pairs of shoes and a perfectlygood set of nerves In his endeavorsto obtain transportation, only t omeet with failure at every turn .Finally the gods of basketbal lseemed to relent, for up came atrue patriot to the cause in theperson of one Mr. Nesbitt, wh oglibly announced that he had oneBuick oar fully thirty feet in lengthwhich he said was at the disposalof the boys .

Came Friday and the Intermedi-ate A boys clambered onto the verylarge Buick. Conversation flowe deasily, cigarettes'were consumed iscountless numbers, and all in al lhilarity and rotten puns reigne dsupreme. Going along Fourth Aven-ue in the direction of GranvilleStreet, it happened, or rather noth-ing happened—the car stopped . Outpiled the boys and begged the ve-hicle to repeat and move but it wa sall to no avail—It refused to budge .Physical force was applied . blas-phemous phrases fairly seared thepaint but It would not move. How -ever spirits were too high to bestopped even by this and leavin gScotty to carry on his tiradesagainst the car himself the boyswent to a show.

Important -- Fourth

Year ScienceJested on the west-downstairs

notice board is a list of Juniors inScience, checked off for thosewhose pictures for the Totem hav ebeen made. Others are asked tomark on the list whether or no tthey intend to have their picturesappear with the class of '88 in th eTotem .

For pictures, go to Aber. Medi•cal•Dental Building, this week. Thisis the last week pictures will b etaken. No appointment is neces-sary .

Class President Gordon Snelling ,this means you .

NORAH GIBSON TELLS OFHOLLYWOOD HOLIDAY By MONTY FOTHERINOHAM

Rubbing shoulders with beautiful Anita Louise, watch-ing the glamorous Bette Davis at work, visiting WarnerBros. and dining in their exclusive "Green Room,"—suc hwere some of the highlights of an exciting holiday spent inCalifornia recently by Nora Gibson, president of the Players 'Club.

Such famous places as the BrownDerby and the El Dorado in PalmSprings were visited by Norah ,who brings back some pertinentand very interesting accounts offirst-hand encounters with thestars .PREMIERE

Leaving Vancouver December 9 ,she motored down to San Francisco .where she saw the premiere of theNew York stage success, "BoyMeets Girl ." From here she wentto Pasadena and it was whilst a tthis city that she visited Warne rBros' . lot at Burbanke. Throughsome magical process, she was alsoprivileged to dine in the "GreenRoom," ordinarily reserved only fo rstars and directors, and here shesaw people famous in the movieworld .FALSE EYELASHES

BLONDE, BRUNETTE O R

REDHEAD FOR QUEEN ?

Browns Offers OptionOf Colors For

JuniorsBlonde, brunette, or redhead ?The undying persistence of thi s

problem will achieve something o fa solution on the night of January28. The solution will be personi-fied in the elegant shape of someone Junior oo .ed who will presideas queen over the festivities ofthe annual Junior prom, held Prob-ably at the Spanish Grill of HotelVancouver.

The Prom Queen, to be constitu-tionally elected . by popular votefrom among the belles of the clas sof '88, is a new and exotic feature .Her selecttnn 1s a diplomatic prob-lem, but Prevy Malcolm Brown ofthe Junior class, his brown eye sshining with boyish enthusiasm,has found the solution .

Two

THE UBYSSEY

Tuesday, January 12, 1937

THE UBYSSE YEDITOR IN CHIE F

ZOE BROWNE-CLAYTO NSENIOR EDITORS

TUESDAY : Kemp Edmonds

FRIDAY : Dorwin BairdSPORTS EDITOR

Dick ElsonASSOCIATE SPORTS EDITOR S

Frank Perry Frank Turne rASSOCIATE EDITORS

Ken Grant

Dorothy Cumming s

Subscription Rates for Ubyssey :Student rate, $1 .00 per year .

Rate for non-students, $1 .50 per year .

Adverthing OfficePacific Publishers, Limited, 311 Province Building, Victory Square, Vancouver, B . C .

Telephone: TRINITY 1945Advertising Staff : Charles H . Munro, Howard D. Fletcher

All advertising handled exclusively by Pacific Publishers, Limited .

MIIN,YIIIIYINIMIXIMIYIMI""I' 1'1'Y'XYINWYNINWINIYXMYIYYINN I~'YW'NIIMI""' XWY"'MNMYWY~WWMIWI'~~ '1WIY"I""'

"YYIMMIYI IMMIYIYIYIYIN"'MIY WIW0NaUIM 0.I IIIIXIYIYWII I

A FORWARD POLICY

The de Bidder lectures, which commence Wednesday ,are one of the major contributions of the Musical Societyto the cultural life of the campus . For five weeks, the dis-tinguished conductor of the Vancouver Symphony Orchestrawill, in his own pleasing style, outline the development o fvocal music .

The Musical Society has stepped out in the last fe wyears, and is beginning to make its influence felt . No longerdoes the society rely solely on the spring production . Realis-ing that student life needs the relaxation and satisfactio nbrought about by good music, our Musical Society has se titself to the task of filling that need .

Thdre is no need for the U'byssey to urge support of thecoming lecture series. Following last year's example, wecan expect large crowds at every Wednesday gathering. Wedesire, in this editorial, to congratulate the Musical Societ yupon their pursuance of a policy that brings an understand-ing of music and its forms closer to the ordinary student .

"Let me serve your car, and your ear will serve you .""FRANK" PICK le

U.B.C. SERVICE STATIO N24-Hour Emergency Service — Complete Repair Faeilitl a

SOUTH END OF McGILL ROAD

PT. GREY 53

"What de you usually play for? ""Fun—and my hest's Sweet Caps! "

SWEET CAPORAL CIGARETTES

"The purest /arm in which tobacco can be cached "—Y`'anrr t

FRATERNITIES—TO THE RUSHEES

Y

Now that rushing is over the fraternities that want yo uhave given you a bid, and a period of two days ensues Inwhich fraternity members are forbidden to speak to you .burns this time you must determine which way to go orwhether to join any fraternity at all . Here, unbiased aswe can make it, is the issue .

You have just been rushed and have in all probabilit yenjoyed' it immensely. You will feel grateful, of course, butyou should not feel under any obligation after it ; for thesame attention is bestowed on all rushees yeelr after yea ras a matter of course . Do not suppose that you will betreated with such flattering and aggressive fraternity afte ryou join : you will be on the other side of 'the fence then .Whatever has been expended on you in attention and moneynow, you will be expected to bestow on the rushees of nex tterm, and the term after, and so on, twice a year as long asyou are in college .

Many fraternities will tell you that they themselve sconsider the rushing system an evil . This is a salutary atti-tude—only they will offer no workable substitution . Somefraternities concentrate almost their whole energy in thi sperpetuating themselves, and so their true function is for-gotten .

'Nominally the chief virtue of fraternities is friendship.

That is a fine deal, but unhappily while fraternities will hel pyour cultivating friendships in one group they will tend toalienate you from other groups. This is particularly true i nthe case of close, personal friendships, unless your friend isalso bid .

Actually, the chief virtue of fraternities is two-fold : theyoffer an attractive substitute for home life to the out-of -town student, if he is able to board at the first house ; andalso, they provide you with a good means of working a fe wmote dances and such into your college year, if you hav ethe money and inclination.

As far as money goes, expenses vary considerably wit hthe different groups. Pockets and ideas of value differ to owidely for us to comment here : this must be your ownconcern—but a word of warning : do not be led to believethat the expenditure required by joining a fraternity end swith the initiation fees ; you will come in Indirectly for quitea bit extra through your affiliation .

To those of you who are not keen on joining, rest as-sured that there's no stigma attached to remaining inde-pendent. Fraternities are not a social necessity as they maybe in the States . There are many other clubs on the campusto engage you otherwise, if you so wish .

To those of you who want to join a fraternity, we wouldstress the supreme importance of joining the right one .The right one is not that which has rushed you most luxur-ipusly or insistently, but the fraternity whose members yo uthink you like best . Whatever your choice, be sure no tto let your better judgment be overwhelmed by ,the atten-tions paid you during rushing .

RETURN OF THE MUS E

Maybe it is the new calendar on the Pub wall givingpeople spring fever already, or maybe it was last week's"Literary Page" sponsored by the Letters Club, but in an ycase a Renaissance is afoot among the local scribes. Theresult is on Page Three, dedicated to Mr . Butterfield for hiskindly comments on last week's efforts . We hope that hewill find something more to his taste in today's issue.

Caf LoveDedicated to the Closest WaitressI wandered lonely 'mong a crowdOf noisy loafers, chattering lou dWhen all at once I saw there—The damsel with the auburn hair.

She burst upon my eager eyesAlone amid a dozen pies ,Shimmering and shaking in th e

breeze .It made me feel weak in the knees .

I told her she was my ideal ,I told her how she made me feel .I knelt and murmured of m y

passion .While she into her mouth put has h

in .

I used to think I had a line .And so I crooned "Sweet Adeline" ;But dam that waitress, Satan' s

daughterShe brought me up a glass o f

water .

She made me feel too darn ridi-culous

But showed me that a womanfickle Is .

Alas, I'll see her no more there ,That damsel with, the auburn hair.

Psychology Club, special meetin g12.30, Wednesday, In Arts 108 .

Ui E demand recognition .Angry at the shabby treat-

ment we have received, we, thecampus representatives of Vancou-ver papers, have formed a newunion with strict regulations . In-troducing the U .B.C.U.A.U.R.V.P.(Local No. 1) . In other words, theUniversity of British Columbia Un-ion of Affiliated University Report-ers for Vancouver Papers .

Believe it or not, this buddin ggroup can boast a membership ofeight first-class journalists . In al lseriousness, the whole idea behindthe move on our part is to unite fo rour own protection. It happensthat all eight of us earn a living bykeeping the local public informed o fVarsity doings . We get paid accord -her to the work we do, No that whena campus group sends a publicityagent downtown like like one tune-ful organisation did recently, ourdander is up, plenty

The pivot point for all campu snews is the Ubyssey office. If youare going to bite a dog, send us amessage to that effect and you'llfind yourself on the front page ofevery journal in Canada, for th ework of the U.B.C .U.A.R.V.P. isprinted far and wide . (Witness therecent story of co-eds beauty cost ,done by Comrade Morley. )

Election of officers will be heldsoon, and then the UBCUARVPwill et off to a good start. In themeantime, remember our slogan s"If it's worth printing, the boys wil lget it printed . Support organise dreporters, use the UBCUARVP,"

e

F

W

B LUE Monday .Moving from the Friday to

the Tuesday issue makes this par-ticular columnist an earnest sdvo-vate of calendar reform . Of all therotten days upon which to work,the first one after the Day of Res tis the worst . Everybody feels low,and the lowest of these is . . . me.It seems that I was very wrong ineverything that I wrote last Friday

First, the Thetas have Informedme, in a remarkably restrainednote, that their raffle was held a tthe Alumni Dance on December 29 .

I'm sorry, girls, but I'm still sorethat I didn't win . But then, youknow these raffles, "Abandon hop eall ye that buy these ducats ." Next,Kay McKay doesn't like to be lik-ened to Arlene Harris, Jay saysCouncil I . doing plenty only I wouldnot appreciate it, angry youn gLiberals deny that Jolson and Mc-Geer look alike, and to cap it all mymovie selections drew sneers fro mpub critics .

With the exception of the raffle ,I stand my ground .

•

A LTHOUGH I'm a firm believerin lettin people live their own

lives, ocassionally there comes tolight a story that fe so disgustingthat normal people refuse to acceptits verity .

Take the case of a freshette wh owas forced to drop university atChristmas because of low scholar-ship. Nothing wrong there, butwhen that same young lady con-tinues to deceive her family intothinking that she still attend sVarsity, and when she leaves hom edaily for the campus, but nevergets here, then I would firmly ad-vocate that she be taken over aparental knee and roundly spanked.

Almost as bad an the chap whostill goes to C.0.T,C., even if hequit Varsity last spring.

C

t

W 1

AND so to a feeble end.

Word has reached these earsthat Council and the Junior Execu-tive are having a great struggleover the matter of a Prom Queen.In the minds of some higher-ups,the election of a queen to bally-ho othe Prom is desecration, American,and generally low .

American colleges, even the leastof them, stage Proms that woul dmake even the Arts Ball committeeblush with envy. Publicity, plentyof shouting and nonsense, are use dto put these super dances over .Why not encourage a little of suc hpublicity, Mr. Gould, and see if wecan't keep our social functions outof the red until your Pass Systemcompletes its slow passage throughofficialdom?

NOTIC EGen. Sir James MacBrlen, D .S .O . ,

the Commissioner of the R.C .M.P.from Ottawa, will give an addres son the work of the Mounted Police ,Tuesday, January 12, at 12.15, inApp. Science 100.

During the war, he was In com-mand of the Seaforths and theother military units from Vancou-ver. Later he joined the R .C .M.P .of which he is now the Dominio nCommissioner. In June 8rd, 1928 .he was knighted by the late Kin gGeorge V .

All students interested are cor-dially invited to attend .

Lend Me Your EarsSy SOS SOUCMITTS

What This Country Need s

Is a Real Nationa lCharacteristic

I wan In his little store buyin gsome cigarettes.

He brightened up considerably ."Say," he said, "are you from the OldCountry? Most Canadians pronouncethat brand with the accent on th elast syllable."

"No, I'm a Canadian ." I said ,Of course, he is a Londoner. Take

one look at him, at his bristly mous-tache, at his eyes, at the cap on hi shead .

Hear him 'peek and you canno tmistake his origin . He In from Lon -don and no other part of the worldcould have produced him .

a

Y

CockneyThe next time I was In his store—

It was for some matches thin time —he said, proudly :

"You know, I need to be in FleetStreet myself . Never In the new.-paper business though? Just workedfor a printer in Chancery Lane .Worked for him for years. "

He sighed. "Then I came out to thi scountry . I'm sort of sorry I did al •though It' . a fine country. "

He slhed deeply again ."Don't you wish you could go bac khome?" he said, ' Uo back home towhere you can hear the Bow Bells?"

"But that's not my home," I sai d"I'm a Canadian . Several generation sof me born In Canada. ""I keep forgetting that," he said .

"It mast be your accent. You knowsometimes I think you're English an dsometimes I think your American .And maybe there's a trace of Frenc hIn It, too. "

"There's 'the trouble," I said, "W eare such an amorphous race that no -body can definitely place us. We areso many things that we are nothing . "Races

And on the same day I met a nItalian, resident In this country fo r2ti for a0 years Swede , a Frenchman, in Chines eand a Japanese.

They all, the moment I met them ,registered their nationality upon M Yconsciousness. I knew who they wereand to what race they belonged.There was something that stampe dthem .

I conclude from there meeting sthat the woeful lack In this countryIs a national characteristic . We simp-ly do not stand out an Canadians —as an Englishman, or no an Irishman ,or as an Italian Mande out as amember of his own race—because w edo not think in terms of Canada .

Either we pack ourselves into littl eprovincial Ontario Cornthe Maritime pro Quebec,

or we go to the other extreme an dlose our own individuality In thebroad term, "British . "

We happen to be British subjects ,of course, but as long as we keepthinking predominantly of the Brillshphase of this situation we shall neverachieve nationhood .

We shall always remain the tag-end, the lesser halt In a rather doubt-ful whole .

Leader?I believe that the higher Intelll-

gonce will eventually bring the worl dto an internationalism, an understand -ing of humanity as an Integral thing.

But before wo can reach Inter-nationalism, the ideal, we must be anational, just as before we can behelpful and generous to outsiders wemust be helpful and generous to th emembers of our own family .

You have heard of the street ange land the 'home devil, the man whomakes a good fellow of himself out -side the walls of his own domicile ,but allows his family to suffer fo rIt .

We are street angel,. on a wholesaleand national scale . We concern our.selves with our own Individual Inter-ests, but we are not really interestedin the welfare of the nation as awhole.

I think that it political leader wh oinstituted a truly Canadian polic ycould sweep the country. I think thatCanada is about ready for the arriva lof such a leader .

If he comes, he unquestionably wil lhave the support of, at least, this de-partment ,

More son use that Sob Doaehett°has taken up the issue of tlaaattlrw-tam and his platform tenet very faraway tram the saglmeat in OaaaafsnVntvarttiss, aummarlsodl la Viewerlast week, To see whether or not h efollows op this promisiag lead you'dbetter reed Ma eolamn in the Van-.°Dater fan regnlnrly, Delivered ifyou phone MAWS' 4111 .

Orchard a tAlberta NotA Pol iceman

Sy CLEM L. KINGUNIVERSITY OP ALEERTA ,

Edmonton, Jan . 7 (W.I .P .U.) —Sack of the reeldenees on th eUniversity Campus Is a plot ofground seven or eight sores in ex -tent that Is surrounded by a hig hwire fence . During the wintermonths this little plot presentsrather a dreary aspect to the ob-server, but slightly over fourmonths from now this will be amass of bloom, rivalling the or-chards of British Columbia . Thisis the University orchard, ru nunder the direction of Dr. J. S .Shoemaker. Last year over 7 5different varieties of fruit wereharvested from this little plot .Apples are the main product,while plums have been grownwith considerable success, andseveral new varieties of straw-berries have' been developedthere. Development of new veri-ties and the aoolimltisation of oldones may In the near future mak efruit production in Alberta a rea lpossibility.

S.M. U.S.

Well, the first edition of S . M.U. S. is here, (by the same sinus-ter) . Sorry to say that some ofthe gang got the axe, but' glad tosee most of them back and raringto go. I got a hunch that we wil lhave to give the old Science Pus hbehind a couple more Scienc eevents before the year is over .Which by the way reminds me thatthe Science Ball is to be held Feb .11 at the Commodore . And whichalso reminds me of a little poem .There 1s the tender love of a beau -

tiful maid ,The love of a brave, strong man ,The innocent love for a little babe,We've all known since the worl d

began .But the greatest of loves, The love

of loves ,Far greater than that of it mother ,Is the tender, Infinite, passionate

loveOf one dead drunk for another .

Today in Ap. Sc. 100, the U .E.S .are sponsoring a talk by Gen . Si rJames MacBrlen, Commissioner o fthe R.C .M.P. The subject is "Workof the Mounted Police . "

Thursday, let's get all the gan gout at the first S.M.U.S. meetin gof the year. I am beginning t othink that there are about 70 pe rcent of the second year's who don' tknow even the first verse of Caviar.Than terrible and thee all .

Left-over Ubysseys Stil lIn Publications Office

Due to .the sickness of on emember of the circulation staff ,last Friday'. Ubysseye were notdistributed at the usual pointson the campus. About a hundre dooples are left In the Publication sOffice and may be obtained b yany student who desires a Dopy .Limited amounts of sq,verai etherbook numbers are also available .

WANTE DGroup wants transportation on e

or two days per week from Kerrie-dale. In return will provide trans-portation for the rest of the week.—J. Sell, Arts Men's Letter Reek .

Saiencemen Hawk

Pigeons"Hoy, mister, ,wanna buy a pig -

eon? Hey, mister . . . ," the tendershrill voices of two ambitious—oramphibious — aolencemen echoedand re-echoed up and down Burrar dStreet and along Georgia Saturdayafternoon .

Heretofore the spirit of Sciencehas been concerned mainly withbanner-line schemes and their repu-tation for putting things over hasbeen practically spotless. But thenow street-hawking Idea seems tohave been a flail. and the sweateremblazoned with crests one ofwhich indicated a mountainous des-tination did not attract buyers .

The pigeon squatted peacefull yin the palm of the hand of one ,blinking slowly as it regarded withdumb rapt attention the manipula-tions of the other as he grapple dmanfully with an oblong objec twrapped in brown paper whlohwent wishy wash, and drowsily in -haled the nectarine odors which hi scarrier had discovered somewhereIn the vicinity pf his vendatoryperambulations and with which hewas favoring his charge in largesulphurious quantities.

The two wended their irregularbut determined way across Gren-ville with a "Hey, minter," and dis-appeared into the roar of the traffic .

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CorrespondenceEditor, Ubyssey .Dear Madam :

In the Ubyssey of January 8 ,your editorial stated that thenearest Canadian universitywhich gives a course in Home.hold Science is in Manitoba . MayI say that a Bachelor of Sciencedegree in Household Science ca nbe obtained from the Universityof Alberta.

Yours sincerely,EDITH E . SPENCER ,

(Alberta Exchange Student)

The Editor, "The Ubyssey" .Dear Madame :

As a member of the Great Un-washed and Unenlightened I wasrather unsettled by the alleged"Literary Page" in last Tuesday'sissue of your too charming paper.To my fellow-members of theSubmerged Tenth, etc ., I wish toannounce that there are six va-cancies open In a new proele-tartan literary movement, Th eGroup of Seven . The object ofthis New Movement is the ad-vance of more cheerful poetry ,and all applicants must sign th efollowing pledge :

"I hereby promise to writeonly poetry that (a) rhymes . (b )has meter, (o) Is not about m ysoul, (d) or my garden, (e) deal swith a reasonably successful lov eaffair now and again .

"To ensure my fullest suppor tof this radical movement I prom-ise never to write poetry until Ihave just had a brisk workou tin the Gym, followed by a col dshower."

Yours for Art ,PRO BONO PUBLiCO .

NOTIC EImportant meeting of the Munro

Pro-Medical Club In Arta 20$, 12 .80Friday. Everybody out.

. . _ a

went constitute idea camera mater-ial—would make a magnificent plc•Lure .

Mae West is astute, talented ,magnetic, and exciting . Her sing-ing In its own unique fashion isa delight . She is an artiste. She'sSWELL !

Eighty per cent . of all WarnerBrothers' pictures are awful .

Its comedy is soul-satisfying, it sMexican backgrounds highly bi-zarre and beautiful . Nino Martinifinds in It an Ideal vehicle for hisvoice and personality. In short ,"The Gay Desperado" was one ofthe best features shown here in along while .

M

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Les Allen and the U. B. C. FilmSociety merit a fulsome volume ofpraise for their efforts to bring theFrench "Sous Les Toils de Paris "to the campus. It is still consid-ered internationally the beet com-edy ever screened. Likewise, shouldhe and hie executive succeed inbringing Berge Elsenstein's "Thun-der Over Mexico" here, he is auto-matically entitled to a gold loving-cup, loaded .

ChristmasI don't like hristmas. No, I don't

like Christmas . It rattles me . Thecrowds push me about . I get intorevolving doors and go around an daround for hours before I get out .

Besides all this, there Is the an-nual plot which is directed againstme by the Post Office Department .

I am one of those people whomthe sheer perversity of inanimateobjects can reduce to sobbing im-potence. The only three times Ihave ever used a dial phone, I have

The Surrealist to HisLove

Roots groping from my chestAre thoughts of you ,Small red canoes your lips ,Teeth sheets upon a line ,Eyes basins of old waterGrey with soap .Dainty pink cornflakesFill your antiseptic skullBut plum juiceIs your kiss . . . .Roots groping from my ches tAre thoughts of you .

ended by beating the instrumentwith battered, bleeding hands an dshrieking the number I want Intothe Indifferent mouthpiece. Eventu-ally someone leads me gently away,mouthing brokenly .

It is the same way with Christ-mas parcels . I start out with some -thing measuring about three Inchesby four Inches, only three by four ;three- hours later I emerge, hai rdishevelled, collar limp, and mop-ping my brow. In my hand I hol dan amorphous mass about one footsquare .

The family point at the parce land laugh, fiendishly. So I turnwearily around and pick up all theyards and yards of paper scatteredabout . Then I do it again.

About December 28 I finally getmy one parcel down to a fairly goodalso. (Usually about eight byeight.) There is never more tha none parcel any more. I'm not crasy.

The post office is crowded. Peoplemill about, and instantaneouslyform queues in front of me . I hovertimidly around the outer fringe ofa crowd which has a set of scale sfor Its centre. My parcel is hel dbetween my thumb and index finger.Then someone jostles me . Thepackage is down there someplace .On the floor.

My hands are stepped no . Peoplekick me. The parcel is a wreck.When I stagger out of the building ,the crowds on the street stare atme. Well, let 'em stare! If theyknew what I've been through in th elast two days . . .

Home again, I wrap the presen tin sheet metal and tie it with hay-wire. This time, I get to the scales .The man gives the parcel a tug.And it falls apart .

Well, alright! If that's the wayyou're gonna be . . . Finally I decideI will send a Christmas card . Some-how, I manage to buy three, having

Dedicatedto

Mr. James ButterfieldPhilosopher, Friend,Patron of the Arts

Poignant ThoughtI'll bet thatIf all the foreignvolunteersleft Spainthey would findthat all theSpaniardshave been deadfor monthsand months .

thought of two other people in th emeantime .

The post office is still crowded .At the far end, I see a table . . .empty. With a high pitched rebe lyell which instantly clears the way ,I dive for it . But by the time I getthere it is always full of peoplewriting as if they Intended to staythere for days .

Next time I try different tactics.Spotting an empty place, I strollnonchalantly toward it, glacing a tit occasionally out of the corner ofmy eye. At the last minute, I turnand spring for the place, UsuallyI land in the lap of a dowager wh ohas apparently been there since thefirst of the week .

My cards are finally addressedagainst the wall with a stub of apencil discovered in a waistcoa tpocket. Then I watch the letterbox. People come up, and opengladstone bags, from which theyproceed to shovel hundreds of cards.Others throw in huge bundles.

Sneaking up, I deposit my three, 'and slink away under the scornfullooks of those who are waiting wit htheir bags .

Then I go home and sink into bed .On January 10, the postman ring s

the doorbell. He has three enve-lopes in his hand. They look veryfamiliar. A growing suspicionmounts in my mind, as he shove sthem at me. The envelopes are allstamped "Postage Unpaid ." No, Ididn't put any stamps on them . Imust have forgotten . It won't hap-pen again . You're damn right, itwon't . I'm going to stay in bedfrom December 1 to January 81next year. And anyone who mendsme a present or a card will shortlyreceive an untidily wrapped parcel .

I'm warning them now, while Iam still fairly calm, not to open it .For it will contain a bomb .

No, I don't like Christmas .

.r

Unfortunate

Each summer night the weep-ing willows stood

Tall clouds of dimness o nblurred, reaching lawns ,

Hiding the high dim stars

Haunted with thin soft airs

Hushing the sleeping shadowsunderneath. . . .

Then why the devil must Ilove you in December ?

Love Among the Ruins

Oh, little green-eyed monste rWith the slimy, twitchy tail ,Why must you always haunt

meWhen I'm feeling low like

this?Why don't you go and Pegy,Bison, Turner, King, or Bev-

eridge ?With my morning-after stom-

achYour advantage is unfair.

But the little green - eyedmonster

Still is there .

I've depetalled fields of daisie sDissolved sugar cubes in cof-

fee,Done everything but ask herIt she really truly cares .I've pawned countless books ,

rings, watches ,Just to buy her gins and

scotches ;She's admittedly a gold dig-

gerBut who the devil cares . . . .

But this green-eyed monstergets me

With the silly way he stares .

Hasten, Jason, the basin . . . .

Co-ed Ball Discussion

A discussion of plans for the Co-ed Sall will feature the meeting ofthe Women's Undergraduate Cool-sty in Arts 100 Friday at 1E18 .All members are asked to attend .

Dr. C. M. WhitworthDentis t

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MimicKoshevoy

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At The . . .MOVIUES

By THE GROUC H

Martha Raye has fired our jadedspirits with rapt and spellboundamass. Her vitality, enthusiasm,and general umph are nothingshort of terrific . We should like toobserve, from a respectable dis-tance, Mr. Dilworth'. reaction t oher athletic rendition of the song,"Beethoven, Mendel ssobn andBach," at the Beacon this week i n"Hideaway Girl. "

e

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The omniscient Mr . Jimmy Fid-ler's recent rating of the ten bestpictures of 1986 1s apt to dlsoour •age one hopeful for rapid promotio nin the motion • picture industry .Firstly, he includes "My Man God-frey," and secondly, he designate sas best pictures those he finds mostentertaining.

"My Man Godfrey" was funny ina hardworking way, but all its hu-mor was based on wild extrvaganceor mild inanity. It wasn't genuine,human humor. None of the peopleor their houses or clothes or in-door sports were real . Further, nopicture based on any novel thatever serialled in "Liberty" couldpossibly be considered one of theyear's most meritorious works .

Our contention is that a picture ,to be merely entertaining, needn'tat all be of high-quality calibre.Simple folk can enjoy strenuoushumor or action when it is aunt-aleptly loud and continuous. Thefact that a picture of this varietyentertains them Is no Indicatio nthat the picture itself Is of muchmerit. Real quality must binge ondepth and insight of acting perfor•malice, or creation of atmosphere,and it very seldom does .

There was a picture, "The ThreeMusketeers," with Walter Abeland Margot Graham, that illus-trated the point . Hollywood coul dmount and dress it richly and beau-tifully. AS photography it wassplendid. As a dramatic perform-ance, it was puling guff . Dialoguewas infantile, action was choppy ,emotion was pure ham, and thezestful texture of the original an dfamiliar story was destroyed.

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SHEER CUSSEDNESS DEPT . :There was never a musical Pic -

ture of the 800-girl chorus school(excepting the "Great Zeigfeld")that had any vestige of interestor sanity in either its story or act-ing .

"Macbeth"—because its setting ,spectacle, and grandness of move -

Songs you have never• heard before In Sovi-

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Dawn SmokeIt was the darkness before dawn . Little Edwar dcrouched down in his pitiful shell-hole and sobbed . He

clutched his rile with a paralysed grip and peeped fearfullyover the edgy. Nothing stirred except a ragged bt of clothon the enemy wire. There was no sound save that .of a lightbreeze rustling the empty paper cartridge-belts of the no wuseless Vickers . The Hun trenches looked so peaceful I nall this dim obscurity he could have sworn they were empty ,but reason told him better . A sudden stab of apprehensionforced him to duck swiftly back into the mud at the bottomof his retreat. Nothing happened . A few minutes, and h egrew calmer, lighting a cigarette with fingers that onl, yshook a little now. The smoke brought relaxation witastounding swiftness.

e

e

eKarl smiled wearily . Dawn watch was an easy one in

this sector, If your mind was still He pitied the poor devil sIn some parts of the line who had to expect anything fro mhell to breakfast at 5 hours. Here, all was quiet : the En lis hacross the way had been driven from their post the nightbefore, and beyond a small guard, the captured lines wereempty. Maybe he didnt ppit~~rr those other fellows . Maybe heenvied them, now that aorta was gone . He didn't feel likef ighting. A shot In the brain would be swift and pleasant .He wasn't afraid to die . He looked over the parapet . Ina shell-hole about a hundred yards away a red glow showe dand died . Somebody smoking! Lucky dog, to have savedhis daily Issue of two twists of dried hay for such a drear yhour. Here comes the sergeant with his relief. He stoodstiffly for a moment, then scrambled over the parapet. Wherethe hell was he going? the sergeant wanted to know. Toget a smoke of whoever was in that shell-hole.

e

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Edward was startled by a moon-faced apparition thatslid down the side of the shell-hole . Outset Tag, Englisoh .Stick 'em up, Heinle . Don't be a fool, Freund, you are alone .We took your position last night . Oluoklioh, nloht, wahr ?You can spend the rest of this damned war in a nine com-fortable prison camp, while I go on until one of your buddie s(I got that off an American prisoner) gets my number. But

you and me, we half now

equarrel now. Olve to me a smoke.

s.Emil was startled to hear a shot . He popped his hea dover the parapet, and saw a Britisher coming towards, him ,laughing hysterically-Your companion tried to get my cigar-

ettes, and I shot him. He displayed foul' packages of Englis hcigarettes. Emil shot him and took the packages . Hesighed happily .

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Harlem Globe- Trotters Will Play Here On Jan. 21

1 SPORTS THE UBYSSEY I SPORTS

Four

THE UBYSSEY

Tuesday, January 12, 1937

WASHINGTON"HUSKIES "

BASKETBALLERS TAKE OVER SECOND SLO T

COLLEGE CAGERS CLICK ,TRIM RYERSON 46-32

Tiickmen Plan WILKINSON HAS RALLY

Big Meets

PLANS UNDER WA Y

We give you, "No fooling,""Bugs" Bardsley, the one andonly, who is fast returning to th eform that made him one of themost feared forwards in loca lbasketball circles . On the re-cent tour of the Senior A's h ewas the sparkplug of their at -tack and scored more than 50points in the four games .Two years ago Bugs was to pscorer for the league and if h ekeeps up his present form h elooks like a cinch to repeat thisseason .

BARDSLEY

Three phenomenal meets areplanned by the Track Club for thisyear, the first on the roster beingthe Varsity-Victoria contest set fo rJanuary 22. With two first-rat eteams fighting it out the Victori ameet should be nothing short ofsensational. The Varsity track con-tingent will be primed to perfec-tion for the battle, since witchMaury Van Vliet is really makin gthe men train. Training days priorto the meet are as follows :

Tuesday, 12, at 4 .80; Wednesday,18, at 4 .80; Thursday, 14, 18 .00 ;Friday, 15, at 2.80 ; Monday, 18, at4 .80; Tuescday, 18, at 4.80 ; Wed-nesday, 80, at 4 .80.

The Varsity team will probablybe composed of the-following men :McPhee, Lucas (Seagull), Capt.McCammon, Norm . Renwick, VanceMcComber, G. Pendray, Jim Brown ,Evan apltobertn, Horace Harvey ,Tom Williams, and that old reliable .Moose Colthurst . However, theabove in only a tentative arrange-ment and is subject to vagaries ofthe coach's mind .

The amiable Archie McKinnonhas arranged a suitable list ofevents, the highlight of whichshould be the 200-yard relay. Var-sity will be represented in this byMcPhee, Renwick, Brown and prob-ably Lucas. Two other big meetsare on the calendar for this term,a meet with Washington frosh, neg-otiations for which are under way,and the meet with College of Puge tSound. The former should be oneof the best meets of the year .

Varsity-Victoria Firs tOn Books, Jan . 22

Frankly Speakingby

FRANK PERRY ,

TRACK TRUCKThe authentic information as regards the reason for the failure o f

the track club to run the annual Arts '80 is herewith divulged. Trackmanger Joe Rita meticulously laid plans for the yearly leg derby byplacing a large card at the foot of the oaf stairs upon which were tobe placed names of potential contestants . No names appeared. Un-daunted, and with the faith of Lazarus, Joe called the race for Wednes-day. As fate would have it, Joe was Ul abed upon that day, and Vi eTowne was delegated to take charge of the contest. Vie appeared atthe appointed time and place, where he found a miserable lack o fcontestants, so the race was postponed until Friday. By Friday JoeRita had recuperated sufficiently to conduct the annual leg-liftin gembrogllo. And no on Friday, in company with a "Ubyesey" re porterJoe made his way to the bus stand. And there, low and not beheld ,were two, exactly two, men waiting for the race to begin . There wasno race, Joe trekked back, sad Indeed that his track charges had n osadly neglected him. . . .

HOSPITALIAPaddy Colthurst's injured leg has now healed sufficiently for him

to take part in the coming Miller Cup final . Paddy has discarded hi scrutches for rugby cleats and will doubtless be present at the Mille rCup roll call . . . , It's been quite a successful year for ole' man Injury .Dave Carey broke one of his valuable digits and Lyle Wilson contracteda case of ole' debill flu' . . . . And unless Gordie Heron's ailing le gimproves he won't make the trip to Victoria with the rest of the trac kclub . . . . A couple of cracked ribs wrote "finis" to the English rugb ycareer in '88 of fullback Ellis, who was able to take part in only on emajor game. . . . All of which is extremely regrettable indeed . . . .

VIGNETTESHere's an excerpt from the Washington "Daily" concerning tha t

Rose Bowl upset which is now anything but history . However, here' swhat the "Daily" says :

"The mythology of Rosebowliana, now that everybody's home 1 sready for literature, and one of the classics will be the tale of th eHusky rooters who were seen wading in the gutters of Los Angele sduring a heavy cloudburst. The waters surged knee-high as the raincame down, and still they waded in the gutters of Los Angeles durin ga heavy cloudburst. The waters surged knee-high as the rain cam edown and still they waded, making queer, occult gestures with thei rarms. The natives were curious, stopped wondered, finally asked th ewhy's and where :ores of the coo•coo• Washingtonians . " Shrh." said one ,running his hands over his oilskins, "We're fishing for mackerel." . . ,(End of excerpt. )

Mr. Tommy Burns, ex-champ of de woitd, now residing in Vancou-ver, thinks that Joe Louis will be the next heavyweight title-holder . . .as who doesn't . . . or don't you.

The ice hockey club is still trying to set a definite date for there-opening of the Washington-U.B.C. ice aeries, but an yet. nothingspecific has been arranged. The president of th local club wrote to theWashington head man two or three weeks ago but as yet has receive dno reply. If they don't want to play with us we'll play In our own bac kyard. So there . . , .

Sy TOURING TROOPE RThe U. B. C. basketball ambas-

sadors arrived bank in Vancouver's"slightly warmer, with showers"climate on Saturday ni ght after aweek's tooling through Washing -ton's Inland Empire, ready to mur-der the guy that wrote about the"sunny south." Twenty below i nCheney, 14 below in Wenatchee, 1 5below in Cl . Blum — shone weremoms of the milder towns the boyssojourned in. But they came outof it unscathed except for frostbit-ten .ohnossles, firemen hoofs, andearmuffs.

HERE'S ONE POR THE ROOK S

Coming down the strsi ghtway onan ice•covered highway, one-half o fthe two-car caravan swerved off theroad, and gracefully slithered to astop at a 45 degree angle in eightfeet of snow. Calmest, coolest andmost collected of the heart-in-mouthMusketeers was iron nerved "Joe "Pringle . Reading from a book asthe oar took its mad plunge, "Joe "placed a card in Page 281, and deg;mattoally quoted as he closed it."And the boy played the ukulele asthe ship went down! "

DRIVEL.Dapper Bann set the fashion in

drams, wearing as a second laye rhis gold-striped blue sweat pants .

. . Old Casanova Kyle Berryproved the city slicker type as hesiayed 'em in every port . . . . Hur-ricane Hank Hudson earned a tagof "DE droop". Sitting in the backof one of the overland taxis, hewould partially awaken logs enoughto mutter "Jeer my feet are Eros-en," and then sink back into acoma. . . Manager Art Easthamhad one pet phrase: "New, remem-ber fellows, a dollar a day forfood . "

That last one brings us to theonly kick on the trip. What themelon tossers would like to as ktreasurer Lyall Vine is how yo ucan eat three meals, or even apolo-gies for meals on 100 cents per day—especially when you eat half o fthem in jerkwater towns en route .In the first place, for every be youspend in Washington, it's a tokenin tax—10 dimes—2o in tax. Sec-ondly, the average breakfast on theway was 85o, lunoh,46o, and dinne r50c, plus 2o tax, plus three tokens- -it doesn't come to a buck any wayyou figure. And the reply of "Wehaven't got the money" is squashe dby the fact that Basketball paysfor Itself, and leaves a surplus i nthe old treasury every year . . . andthis year's no exception .

REMINISCENCES AN DWHATNOT S

Pringle and Henderson, the du odraped in the back of one oar,garnered nicknames: Grouoho andGrumble . . . . The blue singer inWenatchee wrote I ove in "Joe "Pringle's heart—it's the first timehe's ever admired a girl—take itfrom him . . . Irony: "Buge' Bards-ley travelled over 800 miles in thefinal lap on Saturday, arriving I nVancouver right side up—only tosmash the back of the oar thre eblocks from home . . . . Take Berry' stip and try 1214-Sprague, Spokane.

Trainer Dr . Rutherford kepthis five passengers rolling over th eseats and on the floor with his con-stant flow of humor—the tops bein gan imitation of film funster HenryAnnetta . . . . And the Collegiatecagers have a yell now, but oh !what a yell! all publication rightsreserved .

ICE HOCKEY NOTIC E

An urgent matter of business wil lbe discussed at a meeting of theIce hockey club to be held on Tues-day (today) at noon in Arts 104 .All please attend as this is veryimportant .

Smart Blocking, FastBreaks Feature Brillian tStudent Offense

By JACK MAIRArriving back from their Wash•

ingten trip at the eleventh hourafter travelling all day from We -natchee, the Varsity pagers browse dthrough to an,easy win over Ryer-son in Saturday's Intercity hoopfixture. Barging into the V. A. C .gym at five minutes to 8 and walk -ing on the floor at 8 o'clock, theThunderbirds turned in as smootha performance as has been seen thisseason, downing the Churchmen46-82

. With smart blocking and fastbreaks, the students whipped th eball around a bewildered Ryersonsquad to pile up a substantiallead in the opening minutes ofthe game. Midway through thefirst tram* when thit Varsityshook troop. were sent in, theChurchmen rallied to knot thescore at 16 all, but with the re-turn of the regulars the Thunder-bird gpintet stepped away againto lad 88.19 at the half-way post.After the breather the Churchmen

continued to press the leaders unti lthe last ten minutes when the re-united . "Three Musketeers," Bards -ley, Willoughby and Henderson,staged a brilliant last-minute driveand swept through the Ryerson fiveto put the game on ice for the stu-dents .BABBLE

Saturday's tilt saw Joe Pringleback in form again after a scoringslump of several games' duration .The aforementioned Musketeers ar ecertainly living up to pre-Christmasexpectations . . . . We hear thatRyerson have lost the services ofBill Bereaford, who, it is reported ,has headed for the sunny slopes ofAustralia . . . the strengthened Gol dand Blue squad are gleefully look-ing forward to their game with theleague-leading Province crew whe nthey expect to wreak revenge forthose two pre-Xmas trouncings . . .and by the way, don't miss Wednes-day's game with Munro Fur atVarsity gym . . . while we're on thesubject of coming events, the Har-lem Globe Trotters will be here aweek Wednesday and can be de-pended on to put on a good show .

BYERS STIL LUNDAUNTE D

"Hero to Be" Emphati cIn His Second Speec hOn Wave to Fame!

Archie Byers, ye old defier of icywaters and the only living replicaof Father Neptune; still is anxiou sto prove himself a swimmer of th efirst water by braving the wintryblasts and the ice bergishness of th ebriny deep for a period not to ex-ceed tour minutes .

It started out as a gag, but theidea has so taken hold of Archi ethat it has become his chief ambi-tion in life . In an interview withthe aforementioned "hero to be,"the fact was mentioned that thereare in Vancouver two married wo-men who regularly take a dip inthe deep. In reply to this Mr. Byerssaid, quote, "Never let It be saidthat a Byers can't do what twomembers of the weaker sex canaccomplish . "

So it looks, folks, as if the bigevent of the year Is almost ready t obe staged and let us hope that i tcomes off right away before theweather man changes to warmerways and puts a stop to the wholeproceedings .

CO-EDSPORTS

Sy MYRNE NEVISO N

EASKETEALLERS LOSE TOS PENCER' S

The hopes that rose high at hal ftime by a two-point lead on thepart of the senior co-ed basketballsquad playing Spencer's Thursdaynight were rudely shattered whenthe Diamond "S" girls forged ahea dto win the tilt 81.88.

Hard checking, and moderate mumcase in shooting gave the Varsityteam the edge In the first half. Dur-ing the rest of the same, elongate dConnie McKenzie and a forme rProvince star, Verna Briscoe, sue-seeded no well in snaring rebound sand shooting that they salted awaythe game for Spencer's in spite ofthe co-eds' frantic efforts to wi nagain.

Much credit Is due the Varsit ygirls who played really smartbasketball throe ghout. Theirshort, quick passes were very ef-fective, but their plays weresomewhat hampered by the small-ness of McDonald Gym.Oustanding stars on the Varsity

squad were Lois MoEwen and RuthWilson, but all the team was un-usually good. The only thing lack+ing to the team is a "Long John"Purvis to set the tip-offs and sna gthe rebounds.TAKE IT PROM WESTERN . , .

Intercollegiate competition inwomen's sports, long a mere dreamnow seems about to become a real-ity in one field at least .

Western University had th ebright Idea of staging an archerytournament with the U . of Sas-katchewan and U . S. C. withouttravelling further than to th enearest telegraph office. Theplan Is for each university to d otheir own shooting on their ow ncampus and telegraph the result sto each other . The person wit hthe highest score In the combine dresults will win the mug—If any .If the invitation is accepted, the

tournament will probably come offIn March so as to give our ama•tuers plenty of time to discoverwhere the builseye usually is .

Newcomers to the gentle art o fdirecting an arrow along the wayare asked to turn out to the theor yclasses this month in order to knowhow to shoot when the snow melts ,and outdoor oompetion is possible .Old players are requested to gettogether to practice as the highstandard of inter-collegiate de-mands every effort .MISS MOORE SPEAKS . . .

Returning full of ambition an denthusiasm from a holiday spent inthe east visiting different Canadia nuniversities, Mina Moore outline dher trip and discoveries to a grou pof athletically minded co-eds Fri-day afternoon .

Most of the other universitie senjoy compulsory gym course swhile they all have more tetra -murals than we . The women InToronto finance their sport* bytag days and hire men to ru nparking spaces at rugby games.Although there, they depen dmeetly on men's efforts for thei rfinance problem, girls rules onlyare used In thole games. Theserules are not favored by the ma-jority of the girls on our ow ncampus.Most of our eastern cousins play

lee hockey ; indeed, the women ofthe Western University are bol denough to try soccer — I wonde rwhat the girls' rules in that are ?

In spite of the number of sport sthese colleges indulge in, Mis sMoore is very pleased with our ownshowing and expects U . B. C. in afew years, to be the most up-to-date of all the Canadian universi-ties .

HOW THEY STAN DWon Lost Points

Province 8

1

1 8Varsity 7

8

1 4Adanace 8

8

1 2Forst 8

4

1 0Munro Fur 4

6

8Ryerson 1

12

2

Plans for a recurrence of thememorable student rally of las tterm's Saskatchewan football em-broglio are being completed by thatace of organisers, Ted Wilkinson ,the man who was responsible fo rthe phenomenal success of theSask .-Varsity demonstration .

PEP MEET AND RALL Y

Sig things are In the air fo rthe hoped-to-be final Miller Cu pcontest of January 11, aeoordin gto organiser Wilkinson. Therewill be a pep most, there will bea rally, and there will be pen-nants and Innumerable gadget .—let us hope there will be a littleeo•operatlen . Ted has Intimatedthat Instead of the cards deem%ated In the football motif withthe significant words "Hard yCup" printed thereon, there wil lbe lapel deoeraters with theMiller Cup on one side and theMoKeehnle Cup on the other—emblematic of the success of theEnglish Rugby team In 19$1,Ted's plans are not complete a s

yet, but from all intimations it i sapparent that the rally planed wil lrelegate the '88 demonstration intothe limbo of forgotten things .

I NTRA MURALS FOR

JANUARY

The Intra Mural schedule for themonth of January ham been drawnup by Gym Instructor Maurice VanVliet . Volley Ball will be playedon Wednesdays and Basketball onFridays. Education meets Science'87 and Arts '88 meets Science '8 8tomorrow and all members of thesefour teams are asked to be on handas soon after twelve as possible.

A double knock-out schedule hasbeen drawn up for both sports an dwill be put up on the notice boardin the gym. After a team has losttwo games it Is out of all furthercompetition . The finals take placebetween the team that has lost onl yone game and the one that has lostnone. If the team that hau lostnone is victorious in the encounterthey are declared champions. How-ever, if they lone another game willbe played to declare the champion .

SNOW SLOWS

SOCCERPoor field conditions have forced

all soccer clubs to suspend opera-tions temporarily . There will be n ofurther games until the groundsare in good shape again, and forthe same reason, indoor practice sare being held all over the city ,with the U.B .C. club using the Gymon Tuesday nights,

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