TALES FROM THE MURKY MOONLIGHT

“Pilot”

Four friends struggle to maintain a failing diner.

Main Characters: Trent, Kyle, Chase, Andrew, Mother, Father

Trent- Main cook, shares the manager job with Andrew

Kyle- Waiter

Chase- Young busboy

Andrew- Manages the financials and the restaurant

INT: MURKY MOONLIGHT - BACK ROOM - MORNING

Kyle, Trent, and Andrew are discussing funds, the diner is not

yet open.

ANDREW

Alright guys, I really didn’t want to have this talk, but the

diner is almost to the point of bankruptcy. That New Year’s Eve

bash nearly put us over the edge.

TRENT

Are you saying that the 24 hour live Mariachi entertainment was

a waste? Because if so, I wholeheartedly disagree.

ANDREW

I’m just saying we need to be careful. The less spending, the

better.

KYLE

How can we possibly spend less? A table I was waiting on last

night used up all of our napkins.

ANDREW

The entire stock?

KYLE

Yeah, and now the tin foil is running low too because we had to

use that instead of napkins.

TRENT

Tin foil? How does that even work?

KYLE

It really doesn’t.

ANDREW

This is what I’m talking about! We need to keep this kind of

stuff to a minimum, we are already at a disadvantage since we’re

only open for breakfast and lunch. Now we need to get to work,

we open in a half hour.

TRENT

Hey, where’s Chase?

KYLE

He’s always late, probably got caught picking some old lady’s

purse again.

TRENT

Well, I hope not, we have to get started. Our first day of

business in the new year begins now!

CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN

KYLE

Andrew! We have a big problem.

ANDREW

What is it? Did Chase get arrested again?

CHASE

Uh, no. I’m right here, and that was one time. Let it go.

KYLE

No, even worse. The soda machine isn’t working.

ANDREW

What?! We just had that checked!

KYLE

I know, it won’t even give out water.

ANDREW

We can’t afford this. Literally, we do not have the money for this. How did this happen? Trent, call the company, they need to send down another repairman. And don’t let them charge you for

it.

[The phone in the diner rings, Trent goes over to answer it]

TRENT

It’s an unlisted number. Should I pick it up?

ANDREW

No, don’t. We don’t have time for telemarketers, we have a diner

to run.

TRENT

Aye aye, captain!

ANDREW

I would appreciate it if you would knock that off, we open in 5.

CHASE

I’ll go flip the sign. The Murky Moonlight is officially open

for business!

KYLE

Um, guys, did you forget we have no water?

ANDREW

We’ll figure it out. Just give out tap water for now.

KYLE

But won’t that-

ANDREW

They’ll never know. We need as much business as we can get.

KYLE

But-

[A family of four enters the diner, there are two young boys

screaming and running around the parents]

ANDREW

Kyle, get out there now, customers!

[Kyle walks out of the back room and greets the entering family]

KYLE

Good morning folks, welcome to the Murky Moonlight. How many

will be dining today?

MOTHER

Uh, four, and we need to get fed ASAP, the kids are desperate

for their breakfast. You should be open earlier.

KYLE

Well, we have our hours posted on the door, our sign clearly

says we open at 8:00.

MOTHER

Okay, well we usually eat at 6:30 so now the kids are all riled

up.

KYLE

Oh, well, unfortunately we cannot adjust our store hours to fit

the needs of every customer. Now please, follow me.

[He leads them to a booth in the back corner of the diner]

KYLE

I’ll be right out with some waters for you. Your menus are on

the table.

[He goes back into the kitchen]

TRENT

Kyle, we still have a pitcher of regular water in the fridge if

you want to-

KYLE

Nope, these people will be just fine with tap water. Actually,

is there any way we can give them toilet water?

TRENT

Rude customers?

Trent starts filling some glasses from the sink

KYLE

You guessed it. Quite a nice way to start off the year.

TRENT

Forget about it, here are the waters.

KYLE

Thanks, I can’t wait to go take their order.

Kyle goes back out to the customers

KYLE

Here are your waters, have you decided on a meal yet?

FATHER

You don’t have a very big selection.

KYLE

[Sighs]

Well, we have most classic breakfast foods. We do make omelettes

as well if you’d prefer.

FATHER

No, no. I guess I’ll just have the freakin’ pancakes!

The father shuts his menu shut violently and slams it onto the

table

Kyle pauses for a second, not knowing how to respond. He chooses

to ignore it and just writes it down.

KYLE

Okay, and for you, ma’am?

MOTHER

Excuse me?

KYLE

What would you like-

MOTHER

No, what did you call me?

KYLE

Uh, ma’am?

MOTHER

How old do I look to you, eighty?

KYLE

I’m sorry ma’am- er, miss. Have you decided on a meal?

MOTHER

Yes, gimme the Murky Meal Deal.

KYLE

Oh, well the Meal Deal is actually meant to be ordered for

tables of six or more to feed everyone.

MOTHER

Are you saying that I can’t order this?

KYLE

Not at all, I’m sure you can handle it.

MOTHER

What are you implying?!

KYLE

Nothing, nothing. And for the children?

BOY 1

I want cake!

KYLE

Oh, well we serve breakfast here buddy. If you want to-

BOY 2

Cake!

KYLE

No, we don’t-

BOY 1 & BOY 2

CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE!

KYLE

We don’t have cake! We have breakfast!

MOTHER

Don’t yell at my child!

KYLE

I’m NOT!

FATHER

DON’T YELL AT MY WIFE!

KYLE

I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!

Kyle storms back to the kitchen and slams open the kitchen doors

KYLE

TRENT! These customers are unbearable! The parents are jerks and the kids are absolutely obnoxious.

TRENT

Okay, calm down, just give me their order.

Kyle hands the order to Trent

TRENT

The Meal Deal? There are only four of them! And this is only for

one person?

KYLE

Trent- just do it. I can’t argue with them anymore. Plus, the

Meal Deal costs $70 so that’ll be a nice boost for us.

TRENT

(Looking out into the diner)

Oh man, here comes another customer.

KYLE

Can’t be any worse than the ones we already have.

A man walks into the diner and sits at the counter

KYLE

Hello, welcome to the Murky Moonlight, sir. What can I get for

you?

MAN

Just a black coffee please.

KYLE

Gladly. Trent, black coffee!

[Trent fills up a mug and passes it to the customer]

The Mother gets up from the booth and approaches Kyle

MOTHER

Hey, hey!

KYLE

Oh, my-

MOTHER

Why did this customer get served first? We’ve been here for 20

minutes.

KYLE

This customer only wanted coffee and you ordered a full meal, we

make coffees much quicker than food.

MOTHER

This is unacceptable. And you better make that cake for my

children!

The Mother stomps back to her table, Kyle enters the kitchen

TRENT

Did she say cake?

KYLE

Trent, just don’t.

TRENT

How am I supposed to make a cake?

KYLE

Don’t make one.

TRENT

Are you crazy? That woman would kill me!

KYLE

I’ll send Chase out to grab one, it’ll be store bought, but at

least it will look good.

TRENT

Good idea. He can’t dilly dally, but he should have enough time

since I have to make this enormous meal for that woman.

KYLE

That was my thinking too. I’ll have him get right on that.

Kyle enters the back room and hands some bills to Chase

KYLE

Chase, here’s some money. I need you to run to the bakery and

get a cake. And don’t eat any of it, it’s for a customer.

CHASE

Got it. Wait, cake?

ANDREW

More expenses?

KYLE

Andy, I’ll pay you back myself, this is an issue you do not want to get involved in.

ANDREW

Fair enough.

CUT TO: Trent is making the large order on the grill, Kyle is

talking to him. Chase enters with a cake.

CHASE

I’m back, here’s the cake and your change.

KYLE

Wait, what? This is the same amount of money I gave you! Please

don’t tell me you stole this.

CHASE

Let’s just say I got a nice discount on it.

KYLE

Let me guess, 100% off?

CHASE

Well...

KYLE

Chase, come on! I really can’t deal with this right now.

Trent rings the bell on the counter

TRENT

Hey, stop yapping! Food’s up!

KYLE

[Taking a deep breath]

This should be interesting.

Kyle walks out to the family’s table

KYLE

Here’s your food.

MOTHER

Finally!

KYLE

[Ignoring the comment for his sake and theirs]

Your pancakes sir. Your Murky Meal, miss. And a cake for the

kids.

Kyle hands the food to the family

BOY 1

A pink cake? But we’re boys!

BOY 2

Yeah, this is a girl cake!

BOY 1

WE WANT A BOY CAKE!

BOY 1 & BOY 2

BOY CAKE, BOY CAKE, BOY CAKE!

MOTHER

Did you think my children were girls? What are they supposed to

do with a pink cake?

KYLE

No, of course I didn’t think- Miss, this was the only cake we

could make for you. I’m sorry if you are dissatisfied, but this

is all we have.

Kyle goes into the kitchen before the woman can retort

TRENT

How did it go?

KYLE

Take a freaking guess. They were complaining that the cake was a

“girl cake”.

TRENT

What? Why?

KYLE

I guess because it’s pink? The kids started chanting and-

Trent turns towards the front of the diner.

TRENT

Ohhhhhhhhhhh no.

KYLE

What is it? If that woman got up again, I swear I’m going to…

Kyle turns around to look.

Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man.

Andrew comes out of the back room

ANDREW

What is going on out here?

KYLE

It’s the… the…

TRENT

The restaurant inspector! That’s the van.

KYLE

How could we forget about the yearly quality inspection! It’s

the first of January!

ANDREW

We are in no shape to be getting inspected!

TRENT

Okay, let’s all try to stay calm. I’ll go invite him in, you

guys try to-

Igor the inspector enters the diner He is a monster of a man,

dressed in a black suit and black tie. He is wearing aviator

sunglasses and has a black fedora, essentially looking like a

mobster. The entire diner is frozen in place, stunned to

silence.

IGOR

Hello? Anyone back there? Inspection time!

CHASE

Oh man, I’d know that voice anywhere. That’s Igor, the toughest

inspector out there! He loves looking for ways to get you in

trouble.

ANDREW

Well, get out there Kyle.

KYLE

What?! No way, you do it, you’re the manager!

Andrew walks out into the diner area

ANDREW

Good morning, sir! My name is Andrew, I’m the co-manager of the

diner. Would you like to step back into the kitchen?

IGOR

Actually, I see you have some customers eating here, I usually

interview guests to see what they think of their experience.

ANDREW

Oh, well, I’m not sure that we-

IGOR

I’m not sure that it’s up to you. Actually, I am sure. It’s not!

ANDREW

Ah, yes, okay, of course, sir. My bad.

Igor approaches the rude family

IGOR

Hello folks, my name is Igor and I am a restaurant inspector.

Would you mind giving a statement about your experiences today?

The Mother breaks out into a sinister sneer.

MOTHER

Oh yes, I’d love to!

Igor recognizes what is about to happen and matches the sneer

IGOR

Well, by all means, go ahead!

Igor takes out a yellow pad and pen, clicking the pen excitedly

MOTHER

The waiter was extremely rude. He continually questioned our

orders, harassed my husband about the menu, gave me some serious

attitude, called me fat, and called my sons girls!

Igor writes the notes on his pad as she speaks

IGOR

Oh my goodness, really? Why do you think he called your sons

girls?

The mother motions towards the cake, which is still untouched

MOTHER

He brought us this pink cake when clearly my sons would have

wanted blue.

IGOR

Oh, yes, clearly! This is unacceptable! And- wait a moment. I

just came from a bakery where the cakes looked very, very similar to this one here. I’ll be back in a moment, and I’m

sorry you had such a miserable experience. Don’t worry about

paying for your meal, I’ll be sure the restaurant doesn’t charge

you a cent for your troubles.

On the other side of the diner, Andrew, who has been listening

intently drops a class in shock

Igor walks over to Andrew

IGOR

Where is your chef?

ANDREW

Uh... well sir, he is right there in the kitchen, but can we-

Igor ignores him and barges into the kitchen. Kyle is messing

with the soda machine, Chase is in the back room hiding under

the desk and Trent is trying to rapidly clean up the mess from

cooking.

IGOR

Who is the chef here?

TRENT

That would be me, sir. Trent, it’s nice to meet you.

He extends his hand to Igor, expecting a shake. Igor does not

shake Trent’s hand, Trent lowers it slowly

IGOR

Tell me, can you show me the recipe for the cake out there?

TRENT

Uh, sure. I’m sure I have it somewhere here…

Trent fumbles around with papers in a cabinet, Igor turns to

Kyle.

IGOR

And what are you doing with that?

KYLE

I was just trying to-

IGOR

Wait, are you the diner that called in for a repair today?

Igor Looks at a paper on his pad

IGOR

Yes, you are! What did you serve those customers to drink?

KYLE

Well, we just gave them water.

IGOR

But what water? This machine dispenses the water, and you called

in and said that it’s broken.

KYLE

Oh, yes, well we had to-

TRENT

[Interrupting]

We have this pitcher of fresh water here!

IGOR

And why is it full? Surely you would have used most of it.

TRENT

[Taken aback, knows he’s screwed]

Uhhhhh…

IGOR

You used tap water didn’t you? Are you insane? Surely you got

the call from the city today, the water in this district is

contaminated!

TRENT

Oh, well, the number was unlisted, we figured it was a

telemarketer.

IGOR

You WHAT?! This is unacceptable!

Igor turns to Trent

TRENT

Have you found that recipe yet? Of course you haven’t, because

that cake is store bought!

KYLE

Sir, we were unprepared to-

IGOR

I don’t want excuses!

Igor furiously writes more on his pad

TRENT

Excuse me, sir, but what is that paper you keep writing on?

IGOR

Well, I’m glad you asked. This is my official report that will

go directly to the National Eatery Quality Department!

KYLE

And say we get a... less than optimal report. What then?

IGOR

What then? WHAT THEN? THEY SHUT YOU DOWN, THAT’S WHAT! Eateries

are a staple in our American culture and if we have mediocre

ones or complete disasters like this one, people lose respect

for the whole industry!

TRENT

You can’t shut us down!

IGOR

WATCH ME!

ANDREW

Okay, okay, gentlemen, things are getting out of hand. Sir, if

you could follow our valet Chase he’ll show you to the door.

CHASE

(From under desk)

Me?

TRENT

Yes, you. Show this man to the door please.

CHASE

Will do. Let’s go, sir.

Igor writes more on his pad and then shoves it into his back

pocket.

IGOR

Pitiful! Just pitiful!

Chase leads Igor out of the kitchen.

ANDREW

What just happened?

TRENT

I think we just got shut down.

KYLE

And what was all that with Chase?

ANDREW

I don’t know, I just needed to get Igor out of here.

Chase re-enters

CHASE

Wow, rough day, huh?

KYLE

Chase, come on, we are all probably out of a job now.

CHASE

Why would we be out of a job?

TRENT

Because he is going to show that stupid pad to the Health

Department or whatever it is!

CHASE

Oh, wait. Are you talking about this pad?

Chase pulls out the inspector’s pad.

KYLE

Chase, did you...?

CHASE

I may have... “accidentally” grabbed hold of it as I was showing

him out.

TRENT

Chase, you saved us!

KYLE

I never thought I’d say this, but maybe there are some uses for

your, uh, talent after all!

CHASE

What can I say? It’s an acquired art!

ANDREW

Let’s not celebrate yet, he’s bound to come back once he

realizes.

KYLE

Well, then we better make the most of it while we can.

Kyle goes out into the diner.

MOTHER

Finally, me and my husband are done, but my children still are

waiting for their cake.

Kyle picks up the cake

KYLE

Well now, we wouldn’t want a perfectly good cake to go to waste,

would we?

MOTHER

[Starts to speak]

Kyle slams the cake into the Mother’s face

CUT TO: Time Lapse of the diner going from day to night, then

back to day.

Trent is in the kitchen, he has just finished cooking a meal.

TRENT

Food’s up!

KYLE

I’m on it!

Kyle approaches Trent and takes the food into the diner area.

The diner is rather full, it is lunchtime. Kyle approaches a

table with two businessmen talking.

KYLE

Here you are gentlemen, the club sandwich for you, sir.

And your tomato soup.

MAN 2

Thank you.

Kyle goes back into the kitchen

ANDREW

(From his desk in the back room)

How did those guys look?

KYLE

Huh?

ANDREW

You know, tip-wise, how did they look?

KYLE

Oh, pretty good. Probably at least 20%. Why, you saving up for

something?

ANDREW

Actually, I’m thinking of getting a new jukebox, customers seem

to like the one we have, but it’s getting old.

KYLE

Yeah, what would a good fifties diner be without a good jukebox?

I think that it actually came with the diner.

ANDREW

I think so too, a bunch of stuff did. The signs, the jukebox,

the sink…

CHASE

(Entering)

The sink came with the diner? Gross!

ANDREW

Nope, only kidding, Chase. I thought I saw you standing there.

CHASE

What can I say, I’m always interested in the… monetary side of

the business.

KYLE

Come on, I thought you said you were going to stop stealing

stuff?

CHASE

Some things are hard to let go. Like this nice new watch.

ANDREW

That better not be from a customer.

TRENT

(From the kitchen)

Is anyone working out here? That family just finished and they

need a check.

KYLE

I’ll get on that. Chase, get your uniform on, they’ll need a

cleanup soon.

CHASE

Yes, sir.

Kyle goes out to give the table a check when the front door

crashes open, shaking the whole diner.

TRENT

What the-?

Igor is standing in the doorway.

KYLE

Uh… welcome back, sir-

Igor pushes Kyle easily out of the way and enters the kitchen,

barely making it through the doorway.

TRENT

May I help you?

IGOR

I am here for a follow up visit regarding your inspection from

yesterday.

TRENT

Oh, right, that...

IGOR

I wanted to let you know I gave you a rating of “poor”.

Andrew and Chase come out of the back room to investigate the

loud noise

ANDREW

Well, after that visit, “poor” is a pleasant surprise. So, thank

you?

IGOR

Don’t thank me yet. Once I found that my assessment form had

“gone missing”, your rating was lowered to “dismal”.

ANDREW

Ah. That is... not as good.

IGOR

Since a “dismal” is the lowest possible rating you can get

without closing, you are required to have a state issued

supervisor oversee the diner until is is deemed that you are up

to standards.

CHASE

Okay, when is he coming?

Igor bends down to Chase’s height and gets right in his face.

IGOR

You’re looking at him, junior. I requested special permission to

oversee this dump myself.

KYLE

Now, hold on, what exactly does “supervisor” mean?

IGOR

It means that you now answer to me, I’m in charge here.

TRENT

This isn’t right, I’m calling the state.

Trent reaches for the landline phone, Igor grabs it before Trent

can get to it.

IGOR

I wouldn’t recommend that, unless you’d like your rating to be

lowered to “health risk”?

TRENT

Nope, we’ll stay right at dismal, thanks.

IGOR

Thought so.

Igor slams the phone back into the holder, it shatters to

pieces.

CHASE

I’ll just go clean that table now…

Chase slinks out of the kitchen.

Igor points to the back room.

IGOR

Clear off that desk, that’s where I’ll be working.

ANDREW

But that’s my-

Igor lowers his glasses at Andrew.

ANDREW

You know what, maybe I’ll just work from the kitchen closet.

IGOR

A wise decision.

Andrew goes to clear out his desk

TRENT

I’ll get back to cleaning up now, if that’s alright?

IGOR

Get on it, the sooner the better, this place needs all the

cleaning it can get. And waiter, go take care of that table.

KYLE

Right. We close in a half hour, so these are our last few

customers.

IGOR

We’ll see about that. I have to get a few more things from my

truck, try not to piss off any customers while I’m gone.

TRENT

Yes, sir.

IGOR gives him a death stare, but leaves without saying another

word.

Chase re-enters.

CHASE

What just happened?

TRENT

I don’t know, but we have to get rid of him.

KYLE

How? He was sent by the state. We just have to deal with it or

we’ll get shut down.

ANDREW

I don’t know how much more of him I can take...

TRENT

Remember, it’s only until we meet their “standards”, so let’s

just stick it out until we are up to par with their codes.

CHASE

I have a feeling that’s going to be a while...

CUT TO: INT. DINER - DAY

The diner is closed. Chase is clearing off the tables, Trent is

washing dishes, Andrew is trying to bring an extra table into

the kitchen for his desk, Kyle is moving Andrew’s stuff into the

kitchen. Igor enters with a briefcase in his hand, slamming the

door even harder than before.

ANDREW

Can you be any louder?!

IGOR

Yes, but you wouldn’t like it. Now, let’s establish some ground

rules. Rule number one, the back room is my office and the door will remain closed as long as I am in there. If you need

anything, you will knock. If I do not give you permission to

enter, you are not to enter, save your problem for later or

figure it out yourself.

ANDREW

But we use that as a sort of employee area, one of us is usually

in there while the others tend to the diner.

IGOR

Thank you, manager, for bringing me to rule number two, no more

breaks! There will be no slacking off in the “employee area”,

you will all be working around the clock to get this place in

shape.

TRENT

But that’s ridiculous, the diner can’t function with-

IGOR

YOU ALL NEED TO BE WORKING! THIS IS WHY I AM HERE! Now, rule

number three: you must take all of my suggestions and carry them

out to the letter. I am here to help, and my ideas will help get

this mishap you call a diner into acceptable condition.

CHASE

Alright, what is your first idea?

IGOR

I’m glad you asked, busboy. The first-

TRENT

We have names, you know.

IGOR

Well, chef, I don’t feel like taking the time to learn them, it distracts from my creative process, now can it. And the next

person who interrupts me will deeply regret it. Got it?

TRENT

(Gritting his teeth)

Yes, sir.

IGOR

The first thing that will be changing around here is the diner

hours. This area has a very popular nightlife, but you

imbeciles, for some reason, are not capitalising on that. From

now on, the diner will be open 24 hours.

ANDREW

What?! We can’t do that! We are only equipped to be open until

1:00 and we only serve breakfast and lunch, that’s why it’s just

the four of us.

IGOR

Well, not anymore. You need to be generating the most income

possible. Which is why I will be hiring extra workers and you

will be building a bar inside the diner.

TRENT

WHAT?!

ANDREW

A bar? We don’t have the funds or the experience or even close to the space needed for that!

IGOR

Well, that’s unfortunate.

CHASE

This is crazy, there’s no room!

IGOR

Well, get on it, because the diner will reopen in a week.

KYLE

A week?

IGOR

Yes, and to speed things up, the diner will remain closed until

then.

ALL FOUR WORKERS

(Protesting)

IGOR

QUIET! I don’t want to hear complaints! I’m going into my

office, get to work!

He goes into his office and slams the door. The sliding of a

lock can be heard.

ANDREW

Great! What are we supposed to do now?

CHASE

This is awful. How can he close the diner for a whole week?

TRENT

What if we just didn’t come into work?

KYLE

No way, then Igor would have full control over the diner.

ANDREW

We’ll just have to grin and bear it then, we should probably go

out and get some materials to start building.

TRENT

Igor, we’re going out to get supplies! We’ll be back tomorrow!

Igor gives no response.

TRENT

Okay then, let’s go.

CUT TO: INT. DINER - DAY

The gang enters the diner with arms full of wood and building

equipment. Igor is already in the diner dressed exactly like he

was yesterday.

IGOR

Finally! Just because the diner is closed doesn’t mean that you

can come in late.

KYLE

It’s only 8:30, we had to stop and get some more wood, the

stores were closed last night.

IGOR

I don’t want excuses, get to work on the bar. I have to go and

finish some paperwork in my office, don’t bother me unless

someone gets hurt. Actually, don’t even bother me then.

He goes into his office and locks the door.

CHASE

Well good morning to you too.

TRENT

What paperwork could he possibly have to do? He’s been here one

day.

ANDREW

Doesn’t matter, let’s get to work. Chase, start putting together

supports, me and Trent will start putting the actual bar

together. Kyle, start clearing out tables from that wall there,

that’s where we’ll put this thing.

KYLE

It might be kind of nice to have this actually, it might attract

some new markets.

TRENT

Igor can never know you said that.

CUT TO: Montage: The bar starts coming together. Andrew and

Trent have started to assemble the platform and the supports are

being sanded down.

ANDREW

Nice job, guys! It looks good so far!

Igor exits his office.

IGOR

All right, listen up. My new recruits will be coming in any

minute, you will treat them with the utmost respect, is that

understood?

ANDREW

Yeah, so are they like permanent employees or what?

IGOR

Well, why don’t you ask them yourself?

The door to the diner creaks open, the suspense builds, the

shadows of Ronny and Jack can be seen on the floor.

Ronny opens the door and steps into the diner, turning around to

hold the door for Jack, knocking over over a stool and falling

to the ground.

RONNY

Woah!

JACK

Get up you idiot, we gotta make a good first impression!

RONNY

Geez, Jack, I was tryin’ to help you!

JACK

Well, get up!

Ronny tries to grab another stool to get up, but gets halfway up

and the stool slips and clatters to the ground, taking Ronny

with it.

RONNY

I’m trying!

Ronny finally manages to get up, he picks up the stools and

smooths out his overalls.

RONNY

Whew, well hey gang, I’m Ronny, nice to meet ya.

Ronny extends a hand, Kyle and Andrew are standing with mouths

agape, Andrew has his face in his hands, Chase is holding back a

laugh. Igor roughly nudges Andrew. Andrew snaps to attention,

coming out of his daze.

ANDREW

Oh, well, nice to-

JACK (Interrupting)

And I’m Jack!

ANDREW

Yes, well, good to meet you both.

They shake hands with Andrew and the rest of the staff.

JACK

So Mr. Igor told us y’all needed help with yer rest’raunt.

ANDREW

Yes, actually, we do, since we’re going to be open 24 hours.

What, uh, do you guys have experience in restaurants or…?

RONNY

Oh, well, no not really sir, we mostly kinda just poke around

town doing odd jobs and such.

JACK

We was working at the hospital when Mr. Igor came up and said

you needed some extra hands.

KYLE

Okay, I’m sorry, you worked at a hospital?

JACK

Oh, well just maintenance and such sir.

KYLE

Oh, alright.

RONNY

Well, Jack did maintenance sir, I was actually a part-time male

nurse sir.

KYLE

Wait, what?

RONNY

Yeah, it was tough, but kinda fun cause I got to play with all

the tools and stuff. Hey, you guys got a bathroom in here? I wet

my pants a little on the way over here and I thought I could

hold it through the introductions and such but it looks like

that is, uh, no longer the case.

ANDREW

Yes, right there on your left.

Andrew gestures towards back hallway.

RONNY

On the left...

Ronny stands there for a minute, looking at his hands, thinking.

Chase points to a door.

CHASE

That one.

RONNY

Oh, right, thanks.

JACK

I’ll go with him, just in case.

They leave down the hallway. Ronny goes into the bathroom, Jack

stands outside the door in the hall.

KYLE

In case of what?

ANDREW

Kyle, just... don’t.

TRENT

Quite the staff you hooked us up with, “Mr. Igor”.

IGOR

I have a feeling they’re just what this place needs.

RONNY (From the bathroom)

Jack, they got toilet paper in here! With the roll and

everything!

JACK

Wow, we really are in the fancy part of town now!

Igor walks to his office, laughing to himself.

IGOR

Yup, juuuuust what this place needs.

The workers are staring down the hall, Igor goes into his office

and slams the door.

CUT TO BLACK

END.