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Tasmanian Secondary Assessment Board EN821 English (820, 821) Report on 1997 External Examination OVERALL COMMENTS This report is an amalgamation of the work performed by the four Chief Marking Examiners. The role of each Chief Marking Examiner is to organise the marking of that section and to prepare a report on the marking. The report is aimed at past and future students of the subject. As a result of this the report on EN821 contains writing by a number of different people. Sometimes ideas are repeated, occasionally one statement may contradict another comment made about another question or section. As you read the report you will be aware of how and why these apparent weaknesses appear. They stem from the way the report has been prepared. We hope that you find the comments useful. STYLE ANALYSIS SECTION General Comments The marking of the Style Analysis section of the examination proved to be a pleasing experience, by and large, for all ten markers involved. The selection of material was considered to be far more appropriate for and accessible by candidates than in 1996. Overall there seemed to be much greater confidence evident in the scripts with far fewer shorter answers than in some previous years. Candidates generally seemed able to write at least two pages, sometimes four, and many even into a second book. Many stronger candidates appeared to have selected the poetry for analysis. Many more ‘A’s were evident here than in other question responses. Weaker candidates tended to retell the content of other samples, especially the editorial and the speech. Particularly apparent was the number of candidates who selected question 4 or 5 with little apparent knowledge of characteristics of either genre. Passage Specific Remarks Question 1 Poetry ‘Walking to Cape Raoul’ This was an excellent choice of poem. Many competent and confident candidates wrote well about this piece in a sustained and extended manner. Good answers reflected a sound understanding of poetic technique and the intensive use of personification. Some ambitious candidates tried to make much more of the poem than they could plausibly argue, especially in relation to it being thought of as an analogy for the journey of life. For fear of ‘wild imaginings’, candidates need to discipline their analysis in keeping with the nominated purpose of the poet. Many candidates incorrectly declared the poem to comprise five stanzas instead of one. Clearly the periodic shorter lines lead to this mistake. A few candidates also tried to contrive comment about perceived regular metre, including iambic pentameter. Such candidates seem intent upon proclaiming snippets of knowledge they have gained, irrespective of its irrelevance to the task at hand. In some scripts there was confusion of the poet with the farmer’s wife.

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Tasmanian Secondary Assessment Board

EN821 English (820, 821)

Report on 1997 External Examination

OVERALL COMMENTS

This report is an amalgamation of the work performed by the four Chief Marking Examiners. The role ofeach Chief Marking Examiner is to organise the marking of that section and to prepare a report on themarking. The report is aimed at past and future students of the subject. As a result of this the report onEN821 contains writing by a number of different people. Sometimes ideas are repeated, occasionally onestatement may contradict another comment made about another question or section. As you read thereport you will be aware of how and why these apparent weaknesses appear. They stem from the waythe report has been prepared. We hope that you find the comments useful.

STYLE ANALYSIS SECTION

General Comments

The marking of the Style Analysis section of the examination proved to be a pleasing experience, by andlarge, for all ten markers involved. The selection of material was considered to be far more appropriatefor and accessible by candidates than in 1996.

Overall there seemed to be much greater confidence evident in the scripts with far fewer shorter answersthan in some previous years. Candidates generally seemed able to write at least two pages, sometimesfour, and many even into a second book.

Many stronger candidates appeared to have selected the poetry for analysis. Many more ‘A’s wereevident here than in other question responses. Weaker candidates tended to retell the content of othersamples, especially the editorial and the speech. Particularly apparent was the number of candidates whoselected question 4 or 5 with little apparent knowledge of characteristics of either genre.

Passage Specific Remarks

Question 1 Poetry ‘Walking to Cape Raoul’

This was an excellent choice of poem. Many competent and confident candidates wrote well about thispiece in a sustained and extended manner. Good answers reflected a sound understanding of poetictechnique and the intensive use of personification.

Some ambitious candidates tried to make much more of the poem than they could plausibly argue,especially in relation to it being thought of as an analogy for the journey of life. For fear of ‘wildimaginings’, candidates need to discipline their analysis in keeping with the nominated purpose of thepoet.

Many candidates incorrectly declared the poem to comprise five stanzas instead of one. Clearly theperiodic shorter lines lead to this mistake. A few candidates also tried to contrive comment aboutperceived regular metre, including iambic pentameter. Such candidates seem intent upon proclaimingsnippets of knowledge they have gained, irrespective of its irrelevance to the task at hand.

In some scripts there was confusion of the poet with the farmer’s wife.

EN821 English

Page 2

Question 2 Non-Fiction From ‘Three Acres, More or Less’

This was a wonderful piece to which to respond. However, so much of it was left untouched orundiscovered by candidates, especially the auditory aspects. Many answers failed to discuss howstylistic devices actually created the atmosphere. Many candidates retold the situation and story instead ofanalysing style, and even this was sometimes without quotation or support from the text.

Question 3 Fiction From ‘The Stone Angel’

Generally this was felt to be a good choice of passage. There were many stylistic features deservingconsideration, and the extract stood alone quite well from the context of the novel.

Most candidates handled the analysis well, focussing on character and emotion. However these essaysoften suffered from lack of attention to atmosphere, or the confusion of tone with atmosphere.Candidates who took in the broader picture, and saw the development of ideas as being related to thepassage as a whole, generally wrote more cohesive answers than candidates who analysed the passage‘bit by bit’ and did not see the thread of the development.

There was considerable misunderstanding of the concept of omniscience, and some felt the novel writerset out to ‘prove’ things.

Question 4 Editorial ‘Cut the hot air, and act now’

The choice of editorial seems to have been a good one in that most candidates obviously understood itscontent and purpose and recognised a considerable variety of the techniques used in it. The potentialconfusion between the terms ‘editorial’ and ‘article’ does not seem to have been a problem for candidatesas most of them used the terms interchangeably (when they are not discussing the ‘piece’).

It was encouraging that the many candidates who understood the editorial discussed it intelligently,although often at too great a length. Changes in tone were recognised.

A common problem was the tendency for candidates to analyse the editorial paragraph by paragraph in sodetailed a fashion that they lapsed into summarising the content of each paragraph.

A number of weaker candidates selected this option. In these cases the point of the editorial (an attack onthe government) was often missed. Many responses were quite colloquial in register, perhaps because ofthe tone of the editorial itself. Particularly common were ‘rubbishing’ and ‘digs’ at Mr Howard,‘grabbing’ a reader’s attention and getting him ‘hooked’, politicians who should ‘get off their backsides’and ‘get their act together’.

Weaker answers were also characterised by the listing of techniques, with some examples, but with littleor no discussion of their significance or effectiveness.

Question 5 Speech Senator Robert F. Kennedy

This was a good choice for style analysis in an exam situation. It was short, and the language wasrelatively straightforward. Most candidates regarded Senator Kennedy as a sincere statesman presentinga difficult announcement, but there were a few who sceptically question his political motivation. This ispossibly another example of reading into the selection more than is appropriate.

Most candidates showed an understanding of the social context of the speech. However, there weresome significant examples of ignorance in that Robert Kennedy was said to be President of the USA andMartin Luther King his brother.

Regrettably there were quite a few racist assumptions made e.g. ‘There’s a need for simple languagebecause of the black audience’; ‘The blacks … the whites … ’, ‘Negroes are very religious’.

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A significant number of candidates did not appear to understand the difference between rhetoricallanguage and rhetorical question. Many candidates merely outlined the content of the speech and did notdemonstrate understanding of the stylistic features of this genre. Often, too much time was spend onpurpose and audience and extended discussion of themes rather than on rhetorical devices used.

The best candidates emphasised the verbal aspects of the speech - repetition, pausing and rhythm.References to religion and prayer were usually noted appropriately, however the timeless and universalwisdom of the Greeks was not explained well.

Unfortunately some candidates devoted much essay time to the preamble to the speech, seeing it as part ofthe oration.

Criterion Specific Remarks

Criterion 1

Many candidates wrote clearly and accurately and a few displayed admirable personal styles which were adelight to read. Vocabulary varied from simple to impressively sophisticated. Some phonetic spelling oftechniques names suggests lack of exposure to, or use of, this terminology. The difference betweenformal and informal language does not always appear to be fully appreciated. Colloquial language is usedregularly.

A disturbing trend, evident across the scripts in this section, was the tendency for candidates to inventword forms. Some examples are ‘unclosed’ (for open’); ‘scaredness’; ‘frightenedness’; ‘nervousment’;‘more calm’; ‘exhaustness’; ‘instructious mood’; ‘forshadowment’.

Too many candidates are inclined to read in (often amazing) meaning to the selected passage or poem.They need to be encouraged to take the material at face value, especially given that it is out of context.The instruction preceding the material is a good guide to the writer’s purpose and should be accepted asaccurate.

It remains a large matter of concern that spelling is by and large quite poor. Basic spelling rules (e.g. forplurals) are often ignored. Some examples are listed below.

The following points of concern (perennial it seems) were identified. They are listed in arbitrary order:

• many paragraphs were not indented; lines were left between paragraphs

• writing was on both sides of a page often making it hard to read

• haphazard paragraph structure

• one-sentence paragraphs

• poor sentence structure

• mixed tense; writing in past tense

• writing in first person or mixed person

• sentences saying very little in too many words

• vague use of words e.g. ‘Alliteration was used very well’; ‘Use of techniques was greatly done’

• quotations - not in quotation marks, inaccurate, incomplete, poorly set out, appearing in list form,

too long (i.e. not making use of ellipses …)

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• author referred to by first name or whole name instead of surname

• genre mistakes e.g. calling a play a poem

• underlining title of the poem

• disturbing incidence of use of the ampersand (&) instead of writing ‘and’

• abbreviations used in abundance - ‘i.e.’ and ‘e.g.’

• regular use of the split infinitive

• use of contractions; use of slashed words e.g. he/she (one candidates did in fact explain that he/she

(or s/he) knew about women editors but preferred to use ‘he’ as an inclusive pronoun! Well done.

• use of ‘their’ as personal pronoun singular; confusion of number i.e. is/are

• mis-spellings and/or misuse: it/it’s; woman/women; a/an; flower/flour; civilation; a lot of; alot of;

metaphore; similie; repition; repitably; assassined; effect/affect; ‘all of a sudden’; their/there;

sentance; imagry; discriptive; illistrate; assonince; exagurated.

Criterion 6

Many candidates spent too much time discussing content, paying little attention to discussion oftechniques. Sometimes quotations were overused and without comment. This rendered them quitemeaningless.

The following points of concern were identified. They are listed in arbitrary order:

• misuse of the terms tone/mood/atmosphere

• ‘stylistic language’ said to be a technique

• metaphor sometimes incorrectly identified as personification

• techniques mentioned which were not relevant to the piece

• audience often very badly handled

• poorly chosen examples

• capital letters used for stylistic devices

• ‘oldfactory’ for olfactory imagery

Quotable Quotations

Examiners found light relief in such expressions as the following gems discovered in candidates scripts.They are offered as possibilities for analysis of expression and/or spelling errors, ambiguity,inappropriateness, meaninglessness, or implausibility.

• ‘This work is full of imagery, in much the same way that vegetables are full of nutrition.’

• ‘Having no vocab in this piece certainly doesn’t effect the tone or mood of the piece.’

• ‘ … a horse gargling erupts outside the back door.’

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• ‘For each happening or account a new paragraph has been allowed to break the monogamy.’

• ‘The reader scrambles onto the next line.’

• ‘This sentence is very long but it is cut up using commas.’

• ‘Short punchy mixed with long, loose sentences offers the reader a bit by bit account of every

action the woman makes.’

• ‘With no sense of rhyming the poem manages to read quite easily with no confusing language to

fluff up the edges.’

LITERATURE SECTION

Generally the Literature section of the exam was well received and judged to be quite fair and wellbalanced. The problem of making sure that all questions have a similar degree of difficulty seems to havebeen overcome. This task is quite a difficult one as some of the texts are inherently more complex andsophisticated than others on the list. Generally though staff and candidates seem to have approved of thepaper in 1997.

1997 has revealed a new and disturbing trend in the answers in this section. Now that it is the practicefor books to remain on the text list for three years (or to return again after a break of some years) it seemsthat students are relying on learning by heart essays written during the year in response to questions onprevious exam papers. In addition to this it became quite clear to the markers that previous class essayshad been learnt in the hope that once reproduced they would be more or less relevant to the examquestion. Well drilled in writing impressive and relevant introductions and conclusions, students beganand ended their essays confidently. Sadly, the body of the essay failed to address the specificthemes/issues and techniques required by the question. This meant that even fluent, very long answersoften barely managed a ‘C’ rating on Criterion 2. Usually criteria 5 and 6 were adversely affected aswell. It must be stressed strongly that students should be discouraged from using this as an examsurvival technique. It is important that the student’s individual voice be allowed to come through in theessay. When this happened the markers were delighted and the students rewarded. In some casesmarkers had the clear impression that notes had been handed out and whole classes had learnt them off byheart so that they could be reproduced in the exam, regardless, or despite, the question.

On a more positive note it continues to delight the markers how thoughtful, knowledgeable and analyticalsome students can be given the time constraints.

The following comments have been compiled by the markers of the individual questions. A consciousdecision has been taken to include all the comments even when the means that the point is made more thanonce. This repetition serves to highlight to teachers and to students how often the same problemsoccurred. It is hoped that this will be a signal to future students of the subject that they must takeparticular care over these issues. Most reports mention the misuse of the apostrophe and the mis-spellingof key words. Most reports highlight the need to answer the question directly. Several compliment thestudents on the inclusion of well drafted introductions and conclusions. Because not all students willread all comments we hope that those who do read them all will forgive the repetition. Because of theneed for the individual markers to respond to the questions which each marked, at times the style of thecomments varies, although care has been taken to make sure that the comments on each question have thesame basic layout.

EN821 English

Page 6

Numbers of answers to each question

Q. 6 Poetry Lines to Times 104

Q. 7 Short Story The Picador Book of the Beach 15

Q. 8 Non-Fiction Tell me I’m Here 84

Q. 9 “ Hiroshima 492

Q.10 “ April Fool’s Day 161

Q.11 “ Heddy and Me 0

Q.12 Fiction Death of a River Guide 105

Q.13 “ The Stone Diaries 38

Q.14 “ The Longest Memory 273

Q.15 “ That Eye, the Sky 251

Q.16 Drama Hotel Sorrento 182

Q.17 “ Shimada 0

Q.18 “ Away 222

____

TOTAL 1927

Poetry

The marking examiner found great difficulty in objectively considering scripts which presented the sameinformation on a particular range of poetry. Some candidates had, (in all good faith,) learned by heart aseries of notes, and then had simply ‘regurgitated’ these, with little or no consideration of the question.Thus, the actual comments concerning stylistic devices, and the effects of such techniques, were oftenprecise and quite analytical; but exactly the same terminology, phrases and references were constantlyrepeated and showed no attempt by candidates to discuss the poems in their own words. Candidates (andteachers) are strongly urged to avoid the rote-learning of notes and to concentrate upon developing acritical and discursive style of writing which will enable candidates to apply their technical and literaryknowledge in their own, individual manner.

Criterion 1

Better candidates showed a clear understanding of how to present poetry quotations and, of course, howto construct sentences and paragraphs using accurate punctuation. Weaker scripts revealed a disturbingignorance of the need to punctuate and to paragraph, and of the conventions associated with presentingthe titles of poems and quotation. These conventions are basic requirements of English expression andmust be observed.

As well, mis-spelling of the names of poets and of such terms as metaphor, simile, alliteration, justshould not occur.

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Criterion 2

The introductory comments to this report apply particularly to this criterion. Some candidates failed toaddress the question at all, and their performance on this criterion suffered accordingly. The question must be answered - often, it was not even referred to!

There were, however, a few quite outstanding answers which revealed a perceptive and very detailedunderstanding of the poems under discussion - and in accordance with the question. It was a delight toread these scripts.

Criterion 5

Some candidates tended to offer a narrative account of ‘what the poet said’, rather than interpret the basicinspiration and motivation which enabled the development of theme and thought within the poem. Ofcourse, stronger candidates were able to link the stylistic devices of the poem with the poet’s purpose,and to show the emergence of underlying themes and concepts.

Criterion 6

Few candidates offered any detailed comment upon rhyme, scheme and rhythm. This seemed to be aglaring omission when the poems under discussion depended heavily upon sound and movement, fortheir impact. The better scripts revealed a very pleasing understanding of literary techniques andfigurative language, and of the importance of the poet’s word-choice. It is suggested that a strongeremphasis be placed on the purpose and effect of literary techniques rather than on the mere use of suchdevices. Stronger scripts revealed a deep appreciation of the poet’s purpose in the use of a range ofpoetic devices, and of the effects of these devices upon the reader. These scripts were truly a delight toread.

Short Story

Question 7 - The Picador Book of the Beach

Only 15 answers.

The question was straightforward although some candidates had difficulty marrying a discussion of‘change and growth’ with ‘narrative styles’. Only one candidate failed to discuss at least three stories,which was basic to the question. Most candidates had at least tried to adapt what they knew about thestories to the question which had been asked.

Question 8 - Tell me I’m here

By and large, these answers were disappointing. It seems that weaker candidates tended to choose thisquestion, and many of the answers were reproductions of earlier class essays which did not, unhappily,answer the actual question on the paper.

Criterion 1

Most were ‘C’ or ‘B’ ratings. The main errors were omission of the possessive apostrophe, theconfusion between ‘society’s’ and ‘societies’ and the infamous ‘as well’.

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Page 8

Spelling list:

• Deveson• bureaucracy• aggressive• prologue• epilogue• professional

Accepted paragraphing and quotation conventions should be observed.

Criterion 2

Examiners here expected to see a reasonably even split between discussion of the ‘deeply personalaccount’ and the ‘broader survey of issues’, with considerable attention paid to the ‘narrative method’used by Deveson to ‘interweave these two aspects’. There was little evidence of planning, so it is notsurprising that there were very few good ratings on this criterion.

Criterion 5

Most essays were rather thin on either the author’s own difficulties in coping with Jonathan’s illness(grief, frustration, love, guilt, etc.) or society’s shortcomings in dealing with mental illness (medically,socially, legally) and Deveson’s plea for greater help and understanding for the mentally ill and theirfamilies.

Criterion 6

This was the least successfully tackled criterion, with a disappointing number of ‘D’ ratings. Examinerslooked (often in vain) for discussion of the interweaving of the two aspects through narrative method.

Deveson’s ‘deeply personal account’ was given through forms such as confiding diary excerpts, personalanecdote (often told in present tense) and Georgia’s poetry. Deveson’s voice was often lyrical in herperson accounts, and made use of imagery. Discussion could have included mention of: eggshells,plums, Jonathan’s coat, a baby bird trying to fly, a faulty telephone switchboard, ‘a fruit tree whosebranches had been pecked bare’, ‘a ship engulfed in a terrible storm’, ‘my guilt was growing rampant likeweeds in a summer garden’. Some mentioned her lyrical writing, which cries out for an example such as:

singing sweetness to the sour of his breath, singing softness to the sores on hisbody, singing love and life to his whole being …

Deveson introduced the ‘broader survey of issues’ surrounding mental illness through more factual anddidactic writing, giving statistics, writing transcript of report, lecturing the reader on the shortcomings ofthe medical system, the legal system, police and social workers. It should have been obvious here todiscuss both the Prologue, in which Deveson clearly sets out her aims in writing the book, and theEpilogue, which is really a speech, using many rhetorical techniques to exhort us to bring mental illness‘out of the shadows and into the light’.

EN821 English

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Question 9 Hiroshima

Answers were generally structured well, with suitable introductions and acceptable conclusions. Therewas also a reasonable standard in writing accuracy as well as use of acceptable text conventions. Themain problems were associated with addressing the set question. Candidates found it difficult to selectmaterial and seemed to feel the need to include everything they knew, whether or not it related to thequestion. There was also obvious repetition of ideas and phraseology between papers which suggestedpre-prepared answers, even to the point of plagiarism. This is a serious concern as candidates, in thesecases, are obviously not using their own thoughts and ideas but are relying too heavily on others withoutany attempt to consider or analyse for themselves.

Criterion 1

Most answers displayed a reasonably high standard, with paragraphing, sentence structure, punctuationand text conventions being acceptable. The better answers linked paragraphs well and wrote accuratelywith flowing sentences. The usual problems were evident: use of apostrophe ‘s’, especially for ‘its’ andfor plurals; use of ‘novel’ for a non-fiction text; the need to indent longer quotations from the margins,making use of quotation marks unnecessary; leaving lines between paragraphs. This latter practice is tobe discouraged as this visual break tends to lead candidates to write separate paragraphs without any flowor linking effect, making their writing more like a series of points.

Criterion 2

Failure to paragraph properly leads to a break in the structure of the essay. As well as this candidates haddifficulty in selecting relevant material. They did not address the question but used ‘learned’ materialrather than applying their knowledge. Some candidates even seemed to be answering last year’squestion. The weaker candidates tended to summarise characters and events. Quotations were widelyused and the best answers selected quotations which were directly relevant to the question.

The best answers were also able to show original thought and application of their knowledge to the givenquestion. It was disappointing to find many answers with exactly the same ideas even to the point ofexplanation of these ideas and examples, (many of which were not even relevant to the question). Thisraises the problem of pre-learned responses and even the question of whether use of examples and ideasin this way is in fact plagiarism. Candidates need to be encouraged to look carefully at the question andto select, apply and explore their knowledge in ways that will give a relevant response.

Criterion 5

Selection of material was a problem. The best answers selected the relevant material related to humansuffering and were able to explain and link theme to the other aspects of the question. The weakercandidates tended to focus on too many aspects of the text which did not relate to the theme - again theyneeded to select and choose relevant material.

Criterion 6

Candidates were better able to analyse structure and method. Most had a sound knowledge of this butsome candidates isolated it from theme. Discussion of structure and method needed to be more closelyrelated to theme and again needed to be selected for relevance - at times theme was completely ignored.

The candidates displayed sound knowledge of the mechanics and content of the text but needed to bemore selective in choosing material which was relevant to the question.

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Question 10 April Fool’s Day

The answers to this question covered the whole range. There were some very full, thoughtful analyses ofCourtenay’s methods and concerns. One the other hand the question attracted some very weakcandidates. Particularly worrying to the markers were the numbers of answers to questions which hadappeared on the 1995 and 1996 exam papers.

Criterion 1

Spelling proved to be a problem for many. The demise of the apostrophe is once again lamented.Inability to spell the author’s name correctly was worrying. Other common errors were:

• Celeste• biased• profession• haemophilia• calliper• as well• a lot• chronological

Candidates would be well advised to avoid the use of the second person ‘you’ in essays.

Often incorrect prepositions were used.

Candidates should avoid using abbreviations and page numbers in examination essays.

April Fool’s Day is not a novel, though many called it one. Titles should be underlined.

Criterion 2

In order to achieve a good rating on this criterion it is important that candidates apply their knowledge ofthe text to the specific question. It appeared to the markers that many candidates had reproduced anearlier essay on a related topic. They thought that by using the terms of the question in a well plannedintroduction and a forceful conclusion that the markers might be unaware that the intervening body of theessay was mostly irrelevant! This practice must be stopped. Candidates need to be discouraged fromlearning essays by rote and writing them out in the exam, while in a cavalier fashion, totally ignoringwhat they have been asked to discuss. The markers of the question expected to see here a discussion ofthe way that Courtenay involves us in the plight of his family (and others) and how he persuades us tobecome and to remain, concerned about the attitudes to illness. They did not expect, nor accept, adiscussion of love.

Criterion 5

A comprehensive list of all the issues and concerns which Courtenay raises was not acceptable. Thiskind of hit-or-miss strategy should be discouraged.

Criterion 6

Candidates had obviously prepared quite well for this criterion. The better answers analysed the impactof the structure, the chronology, the use of different narrators and the varying formats used. Manydiscussed his repetition of ideas and incidents and his forceful didactic tone. The weaker ones talkedabout his informal language and ‘simple and easy to understand’ structure.

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Page 11

Candidates must avoid referring to real-life people as ‘characters’.

There were some moments of light relief for the markers. Celeste it seems grew up in ‘Maiso leGruessley’ and Damon was taken to hospital by ‘paramatics’ after which he was treated with contemptand fear, in fact, as a ‘spiceman’!

Question 11 Heddy and Me

No answers.

Question 12 Death of a River Guide

Criterion 1

Analysis of the results shows that most candidates were able to achieve a satisfactory rating or better.

While there are very many good scripts and strong examples of accurate usage, candidates are still urgedto concentrate on the basics of written expression: accurate sentence structure and punctuation,presentation of quotations, paragraphing and spelling.

Spelling list

• acknowledge• ancestry• heritage• successful• describe/description• transcend• narrative• opportunity• atrocities

Criterion 2

Good scripts revealed a thoughtful and analytical approach to the question which was answered in astrongly discursive style.

It was intensely disappointing to note how many candidates learned an essay completed during the yearand reproduced that essay, often with few or no changes, in response to the exam question. Many essaysdealt with Flanagan as ‘a consummate teller of stories’, or answered the question, ‘What are the themesand how does Flanagan use techniques to explore these themes?’ or even just, ‘Write all you know aboutDeath of a River Guide.’

The question asked for a discussion of Aljaz’s past, his family’s past, the landscape and Tasmania’sbrutal history (i.e. our aboriginal and convict heritage). It was important for Criterion 2 to discuss all ofthese parts, and lack of planning led to omissions of often important aspects.

Sadly, some very capable candidates fell down badly because of a lack of attention to the question.Valuable time might be spent in class teaching candidates to prepare plans for a number of differentquestions on the book, so that they learn to choose wisely the relevant material for a particular topic.

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Criterion 5

Some scripts revealed a very sound understanding of the novel’s thematic development and Flanagan’sconcerns with the varied and spiritual background that is Tasmanian’s heritage.

Many candidates did not discuss themes satisfactorily. They need to recognise that certain themes belongto certain questions, not just list all the themes they identified in their study of the novel, such as love,displacement, hope and loss, and proceed to discuss them regardless of the question.

Very few candidates really followed through the theme of Aljaz’s own personal search, through hisvisions for some form of meaning for his life and the eventual understanding that leads to his spiritualhealing and to his physical release from this world. His relationship with Couta Ho after Jemma’s deathis especially relevant here, as is the final chapter in the book.

Some candidates recognised Flanagan’s message concerning the necessity to acknowledge our past, butdid not follow the theme through Aljaz’s recognition of his migrant, aboriginal and convict connections.Ned Quade and Rose, Black Pearl and Ellie, Harry and Sonja could be used as illustrations here.

In discussing the landscape, the aboriginal ability, inherited by Aljaz, to read the land and its signs couldbe discussed, as well as the land’s response to our actions (the blossoming stringybarks and the barrenpatch of earth), with some reference to Flanagan’s belief, clearly enunciated in the epigraphs, that thespiritual and physical worlds are parallel.

Criterion 6

Analysis of the results shows that most candidates were able to achieve a satisfactory rating or better. Itappears that Flanagan’s highly visible techniques were easy to remember and to write about, and thatclasses had covered these in considerable detail.

Question 13 The Stone Diaries

Mature expression and well developed argument were presented by the best answers to this question.The opening statement was interwoven with an exploration of themes and techniques and linked to adiscussion of the contrasting elements.

Criterion 1

The best answers were a delight to read, using flowing expression and sophisticated language. Thesetting out of longer quotations was well executed. The worst answers were poorly sentenced and usedsimplistic vocabulary. There were the usual problems with apostrophe ‘s’ being used incorrectly;especially for ‘its’ and for plurals. Leaving lines between paragraphs was also a problem and should bediscouraged as the visual break tends to lead candidates to write separate and disjointed paragraphs.Some candidates confused theme and symbol and care needs to be taken to enable candidates tounderstand these concepts.

Criterion 2

Problems in criterion 2 related to the difficulty of including reference to the opening statement. The bestanswers were able to marry the statement with the themes and techniques, at the same time discussing thecontrasts. Some chose to include only one or two aspects of the opening statement while some simplywrote on their own agenda of themes and techniques and ignored the rest of the question. Introductionsand conclusions were well presented. The best were incisive and thoughtful. Some just reproduced thequestion and the weaker answers ignored the question completely.

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Criterion 5

The best answers thoroughly explored a variety of themes, at the same time linking into the openingstatement. Relevant examples were chosen and used well. Some candidates concentrated on only one ortwo themes and gave too many examples, resulting in a simple retelling. Some chose only one themewhich limited their answer.

Criterion 6

The weaker candidates again had difficulty in linking the statement and the question. They tended todiscuss techniques as an end in themselves with little reference to anything else. However, the weakestanswers missed techniques completely and simply retold parts of the story. The better answers explainedShields’ techniques such as imagery, the variety of points of view, the use of autobiographical andbiographical methods and explained how these developed the contrasts in the novel.

Overall this question was answered with insight and showed that the more able candidates had a strongappreciation of the intricacies of this novel.

Question 14 The Longest Memory

Criterion 1

The standard was reasonably good but there were consistent problems with underlining of titles. TheVirginian should not be referred to as ‘the local paper’. It was an important journal and included as aseminal influence on the minds of the white population of the American South.

There is no need for page references after quotations in an exam essay.

Criterion 2

Evidence of appropriate planning of essays was pleasing to see. Some candidates however, referred tothe question in their first paragraph and then wrote a semi-prepared response which lacked relevance tothe question.

Some candidates (incredibly) used an extended style analysis format working through tone, purpose,audience and so on.

Criterion 5

Most candidates could write about the themes of the text in a reasonably competent manner.

Some more sophisticated candidates wrote very well on the role of Lydia, who, even though white andintelligent, planned Chapel’s escape which failed because of her naivety. The use of irony to underlinethemes was well supported by relevant examples.

Criterion 6

Candidates found it difficult to come to grips with ‘complex structure’.

It was necessary:

• to discuss the framing of the various narrative viewpoints by the prologue ‘Remembering’ and theepilogue ‘Forgetting’.

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• to look at the individual characters’ stories as a means of allowing the reader to discover the eventsleading to Chapel’s death.

• the use of particular literary forms to convey the individual characters’ perspectives e.g. diary form

for the blunt, brutal, inarticulate overseers; the rambling narrative of the illiterate slave; the rhymingcouplets for the intelligent young boy fascinated by the power of the written word.

• the non-chronological narrative and the effect created by mimicking the vagaries of memory.

Question 15 That Eye the Sky

Criterion 1

Generally an acceptable standard, but many essays were marred by poor spelling. Several mis-spelt‘occurring’. Other common errors were:

• naive• tragedy• optimism• perseverance (despite appearing in the question)• view• adolescence• simile

Criterion 2

The key to a relevant answer to this question is to make the necessary links between optimism andthemes/techniques, and between techniques and themes. Good candidates established these links in theopening paragraph and maintained them throughout the essay.

The focus is the narrative techniques, not the themes - the second part of the question. Candidatesanswers tended to focus on the three themes identified in the first part - love, faith and perseverance - andlost sight of the techniques, or interpreted them only in terms of Ort as the child narrator.

Criterion 5

Complexity of themes was established in these ways:

• the links between love, faith and perseverance;• different ideas about themes by the characters, especially the contrast of characterisation between

Ort and Alice on the one hand, Tegwyn and Henry on the other. Ort and Alice persevered in theface of adversity, whereas Tegwyn and Henry lacked faith and abandoned the rest of the family;

• revelations through Ort about belief in God;• significance of the last chapter where all the main themes come together in Sam’s ‘resurrection’ on

Easter Sunday.

Therefore, it was easy to distinguish between a ‘B’ and ‘C’ for Criterion 5. Weak essays did notunderstand characterisation, and simply described different characters. Tegwyn is not a power of evil, assome essays suggested.

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Criterion 6

For Criterion 6, relevant examples and understanding of Winton’s use of his narrator to reveal Ort’sinnermost thoughts and to reveal other characters to the reader were clear discriminators. Many essaysreferred to Ort ‘checking on’ his family by spying and listening to conversations. The best essays wenton to show how his behaviour proves his love for the family, including his spying on Tegwyn; and theirony of his limited understandings which sometimes showed great insight (e.g. Henry’s glass eye).Ort’s language produced some unintended humour:

The use of such words as bums and tits (excuse the language) really putsforward to the reader that it really is a novel about ordinary Australians.

A few essays referred to the omniscient narrator. Sometimes this was a misuse of the term, becauseclearly candidates realised that the story was one-sided.

Other techniques were omitted or implied in weaker essays. Symbolism (‘that eye’, the cloud, thepyramid of logs, the jewels in the jars, Henry’s glass eye, Errol, the car), settings (the bush and the timesetting of the liturgical year), structure (three parts relating to the temporal setting and to the developmentof themes), characterisation were the main ones.

Drama

Question 16 Hotel Sorrento

Criterion 1

The standard of expression ranged from being sophisticated, fluent and accurate to the very basiccontaining many errors, especially of spelling.

Generally the essays were acceptably paragraphed and used correct sentence structure, although run-onsentences were a feature in the weaker responses.

Apostrophes were not used with consistent accuracy by many candidates.

Prepositions were often used inaccurately. This was quite marked.

Criterion 2

Many answers were excellent in the way they were structured and relevant to the topic. The structure ofthe question, including the listing of techniques for discussion, obviously helped the candidates toorganise their responses clearly.

Many candidates, however, did not address the topic, choosing to ignore it and write rehearsed responseswhich would have suited a different topic. Some candidates wrote relevant introductions and conclusionsbut persisted with their prepared responses for the body of the essay. These candidates were penalised.It must be stressed to candidates that it is important that they address the topic.

Criterion 5

There was a noticeable gap between the candidates who clearly expressed their understanding of howHotel Sorrento examined the theme of the past and its influence on the present and those candidates whomerely retold sections of the plot. Other themes which were not relevant to the topic were discussed indetail, but some candidates did link other thematic concerns to the topic.

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Candidates needed to consider the issues of the ownership of the past, the need to acknowledge the past,the consequences of avoiding the truth, the possibility of reconciliation and whether loyalty is moreimportant than the truth.

Criterion 6

There was a sound understanding of Rayson’s techniques but, once again, there was a significant gapbetween candidates who could explain how the techniques were used to develop the theme and those whoonly explained techniques in general terms.

Many candidates overlooked the use of melancholy as an important dramatic device.

When addressing characterisation many candidates merely explained what the character was like.

Points for consideration:

Setting

• significance of London/Sorrento, the house, the jetty

Structure

• juxtaposition of short scenes allowed for contrasting ideas to be developed• importance of Act 2 Sc II as a linking device and a catalyst

Characterisation

• contrasts between and within characters• pairing of characters• character ‘types’ used to emphasise theme development

Dramatic devices

• the importance of melancholy • the use, within the dialogue, of techniques such as pauses, soliloquy, unanswered questions,

symbols and creation of tension to emphasise theme development

Question 18 Away

The question was a straightforward one, but the range of material needed to answer it properly was verybroad and many candidates had difficulty including everything. The general standard of answers wasmediocre. Many candidates wrote knowledgeably about the play and included great detail, but failed toactually answer the question. Those who focussed on dramatic techniques often did so at the expense of‘thematic concerns’ and vice-versa. Quite a few candidates fell into the trap of just listing what happenedin the play or merely described the idiosyncrasies of the eight main characters without relating any of thisto the question. It was encouraging to note that most candidates wrote at least 2-3 pages and only onecould produce only three lines.

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Criterion 1

There were the usual mistakes: speech punctuated incorrectly, incomplete sentences and misuse of tensepatterns. Some candidates wrote answers which were virtually unintelligible and should not have beenentered at 821. There is widespread ignorance of the basic conventions, such as underlining the title and,in some weak answers, confusion about the names of the characters. There were very few quotationsgiven, even in the best answers and some candidates were obviously unclear about how to use quotationsto advantage - they had no idea how to use them in order to illustrate a point effectively.

Criterion 2

The assessment of this criterion really does help to discriminate between good and poor answers. Thiswas a deceptively easy question but it demanded the coverage of a lot of material and the weakercandidates tended to concentrate on only the themes and techniques, or answer a question of their owndevising about change. Some answers were excellent, with a tight structure, dealing with all aspects ofthe question, but these answers were in the minority. Many of the average answers were written in avery stilted style, without flow: this was mainly because of the lack of connectors between paragraphs.

Criterion 5

The thematic concerns were usually identified in the introduction but then forgotten or undeveloped. Themain things to mention were:

• Mortality as a defining force (not ‘morality’). By coming to terms with or accepting death thecharacters are better able to live their lives.

• The healing power of Nature - to change. • The destructive nature of Materialism. • Conflict caused by lack of Communication. • The power of Love to heal, cause change, regeneration.

Criterion 6

The essay hinged on the discussion of dramatic techniques and this was generally handled well, but notnecessarily integrated into the overall argument. Better answers referred to such aspects as:

Symbolism bonfirewater, sea (nature)shells (nature)Bex powderCoral’s words ‘I’m walking’car keysthe storm

Setting 1960’s time of changeindoors/outdoorsthe beach - natural, neutralsummertime/New Year’s

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Structure 5 acts (Shakespearean)movement towards nature from indoors to outdoorsparallel scenes of families

for contrastframed between two Shakespearean plays

Lighting from artificial to naturalblue lights on Tomwarm glow after storm

Music Mendelsson’s musicfolk music

Language

MEDIA SECTION

The following report is a summary based on individual and group reports from the markers of thissection. The markers' contributions to this report are appreciated.

GENERAL COMMENTS

Criterion 1

There were some general problems still arising, although most examiners noted improvement in thiscriterion from last year.

The importance of editing/proof-reading even in examination essays needs to be stressed. Students doneed to be constantly reminded of:

• underlining titles• using ‘film’ instead of ‘movie’• spelling key words correctly ( e.g. ‘scene’)• spelling characters' names correctly• correct use of capitals for proper nouns• use of run-on sentences• consistent tenses (weaker students slipped from present to past tense)

Agreement needs to be reached on the accepted conventions of paragraphing and titling. Wordprocessing techniques are evident.

A significant number of essays were excellent in the insights they showed, but were marred by confusedexpression.

Loose expression and the informality of the level of language used by some students needs to beaddressed. The colloquial style (e.g ‘the hooks on which the film is hung’, ‘his relationship with Martineprovided us with lots of laughs’, ‘themes are tricky to categorise’) is a concern.

Some used irritating hyperboles, such as ‘awesome’.

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There is no excuse for misspelling the names of key people or titles.

The better essays used a formal register, third person and a variety of vocabulary. As well many of themore competent answers were handled with a mature and free-flowing sense of style.

Paragraphing was generally sound, although we do need to teach all students the accepted convention ofsetting out paragraphs.

Criterion 2

The better answers had an excellent introduction that pointed the examiner in the direction of the essay'sargument, and a strong conclusion.

Many introductions were pedestrian but well handled.

The main downfall was assertion without evidence and failing to draw conclusions from evidence given.Too often students' comments were not supported by evidence. Examples need to support the analysisand not just serve the purpose of retelling part of the text.

The better answers were logical with good supportive examples.

The interpretation of the question was important. Good students were able to incorporate all aspects ofthe question into their answer while others chose to pick up on some aspects of the question. Manystudents only discussed two films and made a token reference of a third.

Some answers were prepared answers and others answered last year's question. Teachers need tocontinue to stress careful reading of the question. Students will perform poorly on criterion 2 if they donot address the actual question on the paper. Instructions to candidates may have to include advice toanswer the question that is on the paper! Teaching students strategies, such as underlining key words tohelp unlock the question, is important.

Criterion 5

In the better answers themes were generally well discussed although some students obviously wereoverwhelmed by the demands of the question to write succinctly about themes, content and techniques.Some candidates neglected to link the discussion of theme with techniques.

For some students there is a problem with themes being described by single, general words, such as‘death’, ‘freedom’, ‘individuality’, ‘contrast’, without supporting explanations that adequately explain thethemes. A topic or subject may be dismissed in such a manner, but theme should attract a moresubstantial discussion. Some candidates listed thematic ideas in shopping list style, but did not discussthem. A minority of students did not understand the concept of theme (e.g. ‘school uniform is arecurring theme’). Examples tended to concentrate on techniques rather than theme. This superficialtreatment of themes caused concern for many of the markers.

It was pleasing that relatively few students retold the plot.

Criterion 6

The better students always explained the effect of the techniques rather than leaving it up to the examinerto make the connection for them. The strong candidates could demonstrate an appreciation that styledepended upon purpose(s). Others wrote at length about specific techniques, but failed to relate them totheme. Discussion included impressive amounts of accurate detail. Students were generally confidentabout the requirements of this criterion. It is important that students use appropriate specific technicalterms.

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SPECIFIC COMMENTS:

Television News Coverage

On the whole, students had difficulty responding to the question. Many were unable to handle the severalelements of the question. When they did try to analyse the required aspects, the answers were vague,generalised and lacked specific content.

There was also a problem with literacy skills which was probably connected with their inability to copewith the question.

Genre

Many of the answers were lively, interesting and revealed a thoughtful approach to the study of genre.

The better students were well acquainted with the codes of their genre. The best answers handled theunique areas of the genre, as well as exemplifying the features of coherent essay writing.

Students had an impressive array of films to draw on to support their work on genre. For somecandidates this spread their answers too thinly and made for rushed and disjointed essays.

The question provided candidates with opportunities to show their understanding and knowledge of thegenre. The weaker students handled theme/content in a cursory fashion and did not link to the discussionof techniques. They were unable to make effective connections between elements of style and the overallaims. Discussion of style should not be merely general observations.

When writing about the films, My Life as a Dog, Stand By Me and Le Grand Chemin, most of the scriptsmentioned in the opening paragraph that the three films were examples of the genre ‘dramatic comedy’with a subgenre of the ‘rites of passage’. Most students addressed the ‘dramatic’ but not the comedy.Attention must be drawn to the similarity of answers in the opening paragraph. For criterion 6,discussion on cinematography tended to focus on ‘vaseline’ shots and ‘point of view shots’ but ignoredthe deliberate camera angles such as the train bearing down on the boys in Stand By Me. The betterstudents mentioned the musical scores for their effect.

Work of a Particular Director

There were the usual problems with superficial answers, given students were required to deal with twofilms in detail and refer to a third. Most students were well prepared to answer on two films in detail, butsome found difficulty in linking ideas to a third film. Good answers flowed across three films, skilfullydemonstrating the candidate's understanding of the director's craft.

Also many of the questions had two parts, so this added to the complexity of the task. If studentsignored either the first or the second part of the question, then at the very least criterion 2 suffered.

There was a tendency for students to have ‘learned the obvious’ aspects in each film. The students whohad an individual or fresh way of considering the themes/techniques were rewarded.

(Please note that the general comments at the start of this section of the examination report apply also tothe students' answers on specific directors.)

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Gillian Armstrong

The standard of the answers was generally very high with many candidates achieving high ratings for allcriteria. The question was a good one and allowed students to meet the requirements of criterion 2 easily.The spelling of characters' names was disappointing, particularly ‘Sybylla’.

Francis Ford Coppola

The question appeared quite hard but because it contained so many clues, it gave students appropriate‘hangers’ for their answers.

When the question was really attacked, then the answers were of a much higher quality and all thedemands of criterion 2 were met.

Themes were often handled with less authority than the other areas of the answer. Often symbol andtheme were confused.

Sometimes the generalised description of a theme was noted, such as ‘power’, but was not explained ordiscussed in its own right, rather the techniques used to indicate power were seen as explanation of theidea.

Techniques and style of Coppola were very well discussed and obviously clearly understood bycandidates because of the very obvious, individualistic and repetitive nature of the director's methods.

The idea of ‘high art’ or ‘art for art's sake’ was only well discussed in three answers and was obviouslyoutside the general experience as a term. Film as an art form, film as art and the difference between filmand the commercial ‘movie’ was generally well explained.

Alan Parker

The question allowed students to comfortably move into an analysis. They had a little difficulty in tryingto fit Mississippi Burning into the concept of ‘the struggle’ which required a discussion, not only on theracist struggle, but also between the characters.

The best answers handled the thematic split of ‘transcending the seeming hopeless … restrictions’ as wellas the aspect of ‘the struggle to break free’. The weakest responses tried to weave in prepared issues like‘friendship’, but they were in a minority.

Jim Sheridan

This question was tackled in an enthusiastic and competent manner by a majority of students. Manystudents were able to synthesise theme and the language of film in an informed and fluent way.

Steven Spielberg

Students were generally confident about the question and revealed a sound understanding of Spielberg'sdirection. The stronger students were well prepared to discuss the technical aspects of the films and to godeeply to extract the underlying themes. These students were able to understand the distinction betweensubjects and themes.

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Oliver Stone

Generally a good grasp of Oliver Stone's themes. At times the answers were not sufficiently directed tothe wording of the question. Good discussion of techniques but answers all very similar and sameexamples used in most essays.

Peter Weir

The quality of Peter Weir essays this year was generally much improved on last year. Most studentswrote well structured and balanced essays including relevant details on both themes and techniques.Unfortunately a number of students could not spell Weir's name correctly : ‘Wier’. Also many wereconfused over the citation of film titles and so used both formats for good measure : ‘ Witness ’.One student wrote : ‘Picture a Hanging Rock’.

There was a mixed response to the question. The most alarming problem was the complete failure ofmany students to answer the question. Some students wrote prepared answers on last year's question.These students still wanted to let the examiners know that they now knew the meaning of "auteur" fromthe 1996 examination paper. Unfortunately the rest of the essays tended to then address that questionrather than the question set for 1997.

Some answers also appeared to be prepared essays on ‘the theme of the outsider in Weir's films’ or otherobviously prepared essays. Many were identical in structure and phrases and appeared to be modelessays given in class that students had rote learnt and reproduced.

Some students focused on either the first or the second part of the question, not both parts. Otherstudents read the question as an open invitation to write about everything they knew, whereas a numberof candidates were prepared to answer a question on music in Peter Weir's films and made this the focusof their essays rather than visual aspects as indicated in the question.

At times themes were too generalised and treated too simplistically, such as ‘the outsider is a theme usedin all of Weir's films.’ Also some unusual themes were: 'the fish out of water theme' and 'sprinting is atheme in Gallipoli’. Obviously there were some students who lacked understanding and knowledge of'theme'. Sometimes the exploration of themes was more a discussion of content.

Some students made the error of equating ‘motifs’ such as the swan in Picnic at Hanging Rock withthemes, while others dwelt too long on the storyline and failed to mention the thematic element.

Film techniques were generally well-developed. There was some confusion between low and high shots.

CONCLUSION:

As this report is a summary, if teachers require more detailed information about specific questions contactTASSAB. Although the next examination paper will be structured differently, there are many relevantpoints in the report on the Media section for teachers and students in 1998.

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APPLIED WRITING FOLDER

The Folios

Each folio was marked by two people and then, if the awards were more than one grade apart, theexaminers had to reconsider the folio and come to an agreed award.

As each batch of folios was selected to avoid the marker’s college, the random nature of selection resultedin very different batches. Thus examiners could comment quite validly that the batch was ‘more tediousthan previous years’, or ‘more exciting than previous years’. Most reported a fair range. Only statisticalanalysis will show comparative ratings.

Markers found the new cover sheet helpful, especially when candidates made a clear attempt to showdifferences between the writings presented. Teachers had reported that this focus had helped them topersuade candidates in regard to choice of submissions.

The context statements were most often complementary and helpful in explaining the writer’s purpose andthe growth of the writing from source. Some, however, seemed to come from a different mindaltogether. These were often very sophisticated statements which overwhelmed the writing that followed.

There were still some strained attempts to link ‘an event from my childhood’ to a source text when mostwere really suited to warm-up exercises and did not attempt to pattern the style of a given text. Somecandidates still submitted writing stemming from a Clive James extract when this had been clearly ruledout in previous years.

We had the usual number of problems with suspect submissions. In these cases teachers were contactedfor further verification or information. This was not a large problem overall.

The longest submission was 27 typed papers. This is very much over the recommended length and itworked against the student. It is much easier to sustain the style and interest over four pages.

These problems were not very many in number. Markers commented frequently on the wonderful,startling, inventive and imaginative responses which linked easily to appropriate texts.

Some of the best writing came as an extra chapter in That Eye the Sky or patterning style in The longestMemory. There was a marked increase in the force of the writing linked with Death of a River Guide.

Many examiners commented upon this positive opportunity for students to present refined, polished,crafted, original work and lamented the lack of such opportunity in the new course.

Criterion 4

Here are some selections from examiners’ reports:

• In most cases candidates demonstrated considerable creativity in their personal responses of allkinds. In applied pieces, it was pleasing to see that they had made real efforts to extend thenarrative imaginatively - through presenting characters some years on, or in an untold scene, orfrom a different viewpoint.

• The thoughtful twist or punch line available in some forms of writing made many of the pieces apleasure to read.

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• In choosing some forms (e.g. newspaper report) it is imperative that the writing demonstrateinventiveness in narrative as well as appropriateness of language use. It was pleasing to see thatsuicide notes and diary entries had been largely avoided as offering limited scope for imaginativeresponses.

• Originality in the development of pieces is obviously important for criterion 4. Some folios sticktoo close to the original text, rather than developing new ideas from the chosen text. It is oftenhelpful if a specific reference is made to the text, rather than a general one in relation to theme. Aquote is a useful starting point.

Confusion abounds as to what is a monologue. It seems clear that it should not be a rambling,unstructured, mis-spelt collection of random thoughts and impressions with no relation to thecharacters/themes of the texts.

These must be spoken and setting out should therefore indicate pacing and pauses.

There was a similar problem in diary writing. Often it included direct speech and seemed to be a shortstory and not a diary entry.

Criterion 7

Here are some selections from examiners’ reports:

• In general, the two main weaknesses demonstrated in criterion 7 were submitting two short stories(same form) or using the same narrative voice in both pieces, even if the forms were different. Forexample, an interior monologue and a short story told in the first person could sometimes haveidentical voice, language register, mood and tone.

The short story is a popular form, and there were some fine examples. It is important for thewriter to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’. A few students who chose the short story format had, in fact,chosen subject matter more suited to a full scale novel than to the short story.

• Apart from a few unsuccessful cases most candidates were able to use differing styles appropriateto purpose. They understand the difference between first and third person, but do not have muchsense of audience. It is as if they imagine there is potentially a wide reading audience for everypiece of writing. Surely the audience for a letter is the person it is written to, and for a diary is theself alone, rather than either being ‘suitable for teenagers or a mature audience.’ It was refreshingto read, ‘the audience is Gerry’s mother’ and ‘the diary form allowed me to express Emma’s veryprivate feelings and to say things she would not reveal to anyone’.

There seemed to be a wider range of styles used than in the past - quite a lot of good monologues,stream of consciousness thoughts, scenes from plays and eulogies for Damon Courteney, as wellas the usual short stories, letters, diaries and newspaper reports. Candidates seldom caught theparticular tone of newspaper accounts; this was surprising seeing they can read the newspaper anyday for examples. There was one very good speech with appropriate word choice and sentencelength, and selective use of repetition. It certainly seemed that this student had read the piece aloud.In imitation of the style of The Stone Diaries we had just about everything under the sun.

• There were some good examples of film scripts but many were very hard to read and excessivelylong.

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• The major concern in this area was teacher based! It was disappointing to read material which waswell below 821 standard. These pieces often did not amount to more than two or three hundredwords. Teachers of EN821 are well informed of the requirement for the Folios. It is of concernthat when this creative section returns to being internally assessed that sub standard writing, such asthat submitted this year, will be accepted.

• Often a confusion or mutated version of form was apparent, i.e. stream of consciousness cum short

story. Many candidates lacked the skill to maintain specific form in relation to what they stated inthe context statement. Monologue form was sadly misconstrued and was usually just a short storyor narrative.

• Once again many candidates presented two pieces of very similar style. This was clearly

unacceptable and made the task very difficult. Much of the Science Fiction writing was difficult tolink with the source text. As well, there were many violent scenarios, involving domestic violence,rape and coarse language, all of which seemed to have little purpose.

• The ability to tell a good yarn was rarely evident. There is a skill in knowing what to say and what

to conceal. It is difficult to sustain mystery and include only those details that the reader needs tomaintain their involvement. Too much of the prose was over told which makes writing pedestrianand ineffective. This is perhaps where the artificiality of this exercise has its greatest impact. Themain (only?) purpose of the writing is to demonstrate writing; there is no intent to engage readers inorder for them to discover something about themselves and their world.

COMMENT ABOUT SPECIFIC PROBLEMS: Students are still finding difficulty with having a sense of the sentence which probably means that they

need more practice ‘listening in the head’. As these were crafted writings it was disappointing to find meaning and mood marred by the ideas

running on into the next frame. This irritates any reader and prevents engagement. Students can often pick up the punctuation problem in other student’s writings because they are in the

reader role. Perhaps this might be a useful exercise. The underlining of titles and use of quotation marks continue to confuse candidates in both hand-written

and word-processed documents. There is marked confusion over the place of the pronouns I/me, more noticeable than previously. To

lay/to lie were being confused as well.

However, the vast majority of students did not have these problems. The presentation and accuracy werecommendable. The positive reaction from examiners was well captured in the following comment fromone of their number: “I truly enjoyed marking the Creative Writer Folders again this year. I was impressed by the imagination,diversity and ultimate impact of many of the pieces contained in the two batches I marked.

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There were some exceptional pieces of writing and it was a pleasure to reward the writers with top marks.These particular pieces were not only professional in both style and presentation, but were interesting toread and very entertaining. They were a credit to not only the students who developed them, but also totheir teachers, who had obviously carefully monitored the production of the folios.”

Statistical Summary

Award Summary Outstanding Achievement (OA) 146High Achievement (HA) 757Satisfactory Achievement (SA) 940Reassessed into neighbour 156

Total 2039

Gender Breakdown Males 810Females 1229

Summary of external ratings A B C D

Criterion 1 152 837 906 63

Criterion 2 168 621 940 227

Criterion 4 339 829 735 118

Criterion 5 206 630 955 164

Criterion 6 113 684 1002 158

Criterion 7 336 877 695 113