techniques to improve_collaboration_all_in_one

Techniques to improve collaboration

Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is when you express the same message in different words It shows you are listening. Helps clarify information and feelings for other parties.

1. Focus on the speaker’s experience“You believe...”“You are suggesting that…”“So you were surprised when you found…’2. Note both facts and feelings“You felt that you privacy had been violated when you discovered the break-in of your home.”3. Summarize empathetically Don’t judge or evaluate. “So you believe very strongly that you are not responsible for…”4. Be conciseToo many words muddy the message.5. Use a “verbal crutch”A “verbal crutch” can be helpful in starting a good paraphrase. Some examples of verbal crutches are:

“Lets me make sure that I am understanding you…” “What I hear you saying is…” “Let me see if I can restate that in my own words…” “What you’re saying is…”

Exercise:Have one person in the group talk about the last unpleasant shopping experience they can remember. Have the listener paraphrase – using the model points from definitionSwitch roles and repeat

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Using Collaborative Language

Turning conflict provoking language into cooperative language is a technique used to reduce the degree of conflict and move towards collaborative problem solving.

Shifts focus from the persons involved to the problem at hand. Decreases the level of emotional response in the conflict.

Conflict Provoking Language Makes things difficult to get accomplished Makes it difficult to create good working relationships Puts the focus on the communication, not the contentExamples:Statements that include: Can’t, shouldn’t, always, didn’t- absolute statements and generalizationsPersonal statements– “You” statements, “this is typical”, “what I expect from you”

Cooperative language A way to express ourselves that encourages people to listen, hear and work with us in cooperative

waysExamples:Objective – talks about the problem or conflict, not person or the ‘presumed’ motivesAsks questions—how can we solve this? Does that sound good? What do you think about?

Exercise:

Change as many of the following conflict provoking statements into cooperative language: It’s your fault that this proposal got sent out with the incorrect name. That communication strategy didn’t work the last time you tried it, why will it now? You always forget to include the other people on the team. You never document your call activity with that donor. Every time you meet a new prospect you get all quiet. I know for a fact that they will not give you any money. You will do that follow up mail out … won’t you?

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Feel, Felt, Found

The Feel, Felt, Found technique is designed to show empathy for the other party while expressing a contrary point of view.

Acknowledges the other parties concerns, building rapport. Moves focus to more objective place. Provides example of how point of view changed and outcome.

Feel: Start by building empathy with the other party, telling them that you understand how they feel.Felt: Then tell them about somebody who felt the same way.

Found: Then tell them how that other person found that things were not so bad and that when they did what you want the speaker to do they found that it was actually a very good thing to do.

Example:I understand that you feel that way about _____, in fact lots of my donors felt the same way about ______ in the past. After a while of doing ________, they found that it was actually a useful process that helped me ____________.

Exercise:

Practice using the feel, felt and found technique in response to the following statements.1) I hate using my outlook calendar- it’s a big waste of time when I can use my paper based

calendar.2) I think you are wrong. I can’t see how logging all my call activity would ever be useful.

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Move to a Problem Solving State

This is a 5 step process to shift the focus from blame and conflict to a problem solving state. Remove blame from the conflict, shifts the focus towards fixing the problem. Helps to focus on future actions.

1. Share that you have a process “I have a process for handling this type of situation….”

2. Start by defining facts from both points of view “These are the facts as I see them…”

3. Have each person share their feelings (from I place) “This is how I feel about it….”

4. Frame future perspective “What possibilities could we agree on? What could I foresee living with?”

5. Define actions to move forward “What steps do we need to take to get to this future state?”

Exercise:Have each person pick one of the conflict statements below. Using the conflict statements, role play the conflict and then use the 5 step process together to attempt to resolve the conflict.

1. I think working from home is great and allows me to get more done.2. Working at the office is the only way to get work done.

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W.I.N. Formula

Tthe WIN formula is used to express your feelings in a concise, non judgmental way. Remove blame from the statement Helps to clarify your feelings and restate the conflict for the other party.

Use the “WIN” formula: W = “When you…” (description of the other person’s actions)

I = “I…” (the impact of that behavior on you)

N = “I need…” (your needs, suggestions, plan for action)

Ex: “I can’t believe this! You always ask at the last moment and then say it’s a priority.”Using WIN formula:When you ask me to do things at the last minute and tell me it’s urgent, I feel very frustrated because I can’t juggle my work like that. I’d like to be of help but I need more notice.

Exercise:Reframe these attacking statements using the WIN formula.“I asked you days ago if you could cover me at that meeting. You never get back to me on anything I ask you – and this was really important. You are impossible!”

“I can’t believe that you said that I wasn’t pulling my weight, you don’t even know my situation.”

“All you have told me so far are negatives about my performance. Do you think that’s supportive and encouraging for me? How do you think that makes me feel?”

“You keep coming to me with more and more requests. Can’t you see I can’t take any more of this – why can’t you hear me when I say No!!!”

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Reframing

Reframing is the restating of what one party has said so that the other party will be more likely to hear an important message. • It allows you to shift the focus of a conversation• Can be used to remove negative language while continuing the conversation

There are many different ways to reframe a statement.Using this example: “They never involve me with tasks that fall under my job description and expertise until there is no time left to do the job properly. It’s frustrating and makes me think they don’t even know what I do, or that they don’t want me to be able to do a good job.”

• Identifying an underlying issue or concerno Are you saying that you don’t get enough advance notice on the work tasks?

• Changing a negative comment into a positive oneo It sounds to me like they value your work enough to involve you in the process, even if it not

soon enough.• Focusing on a positive goal

o So, what could you do to let people know how much time it takes for you to do this type of tasks properly?

• Eliminating blame, accusations, or derogatory languageo Perhaps the business doesn’t fully understand the time constraints that these tasks have.

• Identifying common ground o I also feel that often tasks are assigned last minute. I’ve come up with a process for handling

last minute requests and shared it with my manager.

Exercise:Try to reframe the following statement in a variety of ways:”I am always doing their work. It’s like they think I am their secretary. I offer to help once, and now they continually think that I will run the reports for them. It’s not my job, it’s theirs, but they’re too busy socializing all the time to do it themselves. Next time they ask, I might tell them to leave me alone.”

Notes:

techniques to improve_collaboration_all_in_one

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