text game field guide

7/24/2019 Text Game Field Guide

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Copyright 2015 Lifeloaded Ltd www.lifeloaded.com

Text Game Field Guide

Every bootcamp we have guys with a ton of girls theyve met and fresh

numbers in their phones. We receive reams of emails from guys wondering

what is the next step to take after meeting and attracting a beautiful woman.

The inevitable question is: What should they do nextwhat should they text

the girl?

After having spent the time building up the condence to approach a

random stranger you thought looked interesting, conveyed who you are

attractively and authentically, and pulled the trigger to get the girls number,

youre sat there staring at a blank message screen and wondering what the

hell you do next.

How can you use your messages to get the girl attracted to you? What kind of

messages will build comfort so she trusts she can meet you? How do you use

messages to build a rapport between you and the girl?

It was because of these kinds of questions that we knew we could offer a lot

of value by explaining good text game. It seems there is a ton of information

out there about different types of messages to send to achieve certain

effects, to amp up certain feelings, to build a connection.

This eld guide is going to give you all the information you need, including

real examples of specic messages you can send, and how to invite girls out.

But before we get to all this, we need to be open and tell you the truth about

text game:

There is no such thing as text game

Of course, this seems contradictory to the aim of this eld guideand isnt it

obvious that certain messages are good and others bad?

The reason Im saying this is because, if youre looking at texting as a way of

building attraction, making a connection, or making yourself seem a certain
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way to the girl, the main takeaway from this eld guide is that these are not

the aims of text game.

Good texting is not about using game to create certain thoughts and

feelings in the girl out of nothing, based purely upon certain messages yousend. The girls connection to you, her attraction to you, and her trust of you

should all have been cemented in your approach.

Think about it. The rst text message was sent in 1992. That means text

messaging is just over 20 years old. As a popular phenomenon, texting is

maybe slightly over 10 years old. In contrast, for as long as humans have

existed, they have communicated face to face.

All the strongest feelings we have and most genuine judgements we make of

others are from true interpersonal interactions, in the esh. Thats why it is

possible to meet a girl whos never been with a guy before and take her home

the same day, whereas even some girls actively looking for relationships on

online dating sites could take weeks of messages back and forth just to get

them out for coffee.

Unless youre looking to spend triple the time sat at your phone composingmessages than going about your actual life, you should take it for granted

that attraction, trust, and connections are built through signals that are most

effectively conveyed in person. These are honest signals of your value as a

man that are exceedingly difficult to fake in real life. In contrast, text

messages are devoid of all the nuance of real life interactions: the facial

expressions, microexpressions, tonality and timing are all absent.

A text message even a great one is inherently unable to convey as muchvalue as the simple act of saying Hello in real life. In short, the text message is

an inefficient method of creating attraction, comfort, or connection with a

girl. So

What is text game and what is the point of texting?

Text game is about maintaining the positive feelings of the girl towards you

for the sole purpose of meeting up with her again. Provided that you havemade a strong and positive impression on the girl when you rst met her,


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your only job is to remain congruent with the qualities she found attractive in

your initial interaction.

In essence, texting is about sustaining the bubble of attraction and intrigue

that drew the two of you together, so that you can meet again. If that bubblewas never there, you are not going to be able to create it via text. If she was

not attracted to you in real life, she will not become attracted to you because

of any text game skills.

For some, this may seem unfortunate perhaps you thought there were

some text game secrets to make any girl attracted to you. This is not the

casebut its a good thing. It means that you really have very little to learn in

order to achieve solid text game.

Unless you convey through your texting that you are not the attractive man

the girl thought you were on your rst approach, a girl who was attracted to

you will be receptive to your messages. A girl who was not attracted to you is

very unlikely to become attracted to you because of any texts that you send.

The message does not exist in a vacuum. It is a continuation of your initial

interaction, and a bridge to further contact.

The girl lters your messages through her perception of you from real life and

interprets them in line with this.

More weight is given to real life interaction than texting because face to face

interaction provides stronger, more honest signals than text messages. The

girls interpretations of what you write will be more positive given an initial

positive interaction, even to seemingly bad messages. Likewise, even good

or interesting messages will be skewed negatively given an initially negativeinteraction. Therefore, focusing on having great approaches will pay much

greater dividends than investing in text game tricks to try and salvage bad

approaches that lead to akey numbers.

Summary:

Good text game is about converting solid numbers into dates. This is done

by remaining congruent with the attractive qualities you displayed when you


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should not rely on the girl to text you rst, nor should you anticipate her

suggesting you go out together.

Your rst text message

As has been said, it is unlikely that you will convert a girl who is not interested

in you to being attracted to you by texting in a way that is non-needy, light

and playful, and takes the lead. If the girl was not interested in you, she is

already ltering out what you have to say. However, by being needy, boring,

and weak, you can cut the connection and attraction that you sparked with a

girl in your initial meeting.

We can use the example of the

rst message you send to the girl todemonstrate the difference between good and bad texting:

Hi Sarah. Its James, the guy you met outside Urban Outtters. It was really

nice to meet you did you get your shopping done? I was thinking maybe we

could meet up, are you free any days next week?

Firstly, this text is extremely needy. It conveys a lack of condence by

suggesting that the girl wouldnt even remember who you are. The second

sentence is the opposite of playful or cheeky. It follows the standard etiquette

of politeness as if talking with a family friend, and asks an extremely boring

question that probably you wouldnt even care about the answer to. Finally,

the message immediately suggests a date, and does so in a way that suggests

a total lack of a life you dont have anything going on so any day that the

girl might be free is bound to be good for you

If the girl was really into you when you met her, or was simply dying to be

asked out by someone, then you might get away with this. In all other

situations, youd have done yourself a disservice!

So, whilst there might not be such a thing as text game in the strict sense of

crafting messages that create all the qualities you should have conveyed in

person, there are ways you can pop the bubble of attraction you created by

not following the 3 principles.

What should you write in your rst text message?


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We advocate that you send the girl a message the same day that you meet

her. The reason for this is that you want to keep the memory of you fresh in

her mind the girl may be feeling great about your interaction for the next

couple of hours, but as the rest of the day wears on, this feeling dies down.

You want to drop her a message just to solidify that you are a real person, and

to keep that feeling of having had an awesome experience near the top of

her mind. You should do this an hour or two after, or later in the evening if its

a weekday or Sunday, when she is unlikely to be out and distracted by other

things. You should do it sooner if its a weekend and you imagine she will be

out with friends when you message, or if you will be out.

Template for your

rst message

Keep your rst message short, and dont put stuffin there that demands a

response. Your goal for this rst text is not to initiate a long conversation but

just to keep yourself fresh in their mind. You can use the following template

as a basis for the what to send as a rst message:

Hey [call back humour/tease], random but cool to meet you[Your Name].

You want to inject some call back humour to remind them of the vibe youhad together in a light hearted way. This could include your observation of

what she was doing when you rst spoke to her (e.g. shopaholic), or refer to

something you teased her about. End with your name just so that they know

exactly what it is. The girl is very likely to remember you, but if they cant

exactly remember what your name was (often it only comes up very briey

Im very bad with names myself!) then she will be embarrassed to tell her

friends that she is going to meet you and it could count against you.

By not ending your message with a question, you also gain some insight into

the degree of the girls attraction to you. If she writes back positively even

though you didnt ask something specic, it is a good sign. However, cheeky

questions at the end of your message are also totally acceptable. On

bootcamps we often suggest students end their message with a question

like:

are you always so friendly to new people?!.


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These can be good because they cement the idea of being a new person

rather than a stranger. It also ips the script a little, suggesting that she was

the one being overly friendly, rather than you for approaching her.

Experiment with these and play around with what you write in your rstmessage. Remember the aim of being non-needy, fun/cheeky, and leading

(i.e. actually sending the rst message so many people ultimately avoid this

so that they can avoid rejection!).

After this rst message and her response, you do not necessarily need to

continue the conversation especially if she doesnt ask you any questions or

say anything particularly interesting. The goal was simply to drop the girl

your contact details and remind her who you are, to sustain the great vibe

you created when you met her.

Opening message examples:

Example 1:

04:09:45

Me:

So this is the cute future Andy Warhol...nice to

meet you young lady ;)

04:17:03

Anna Gallery:

?

04:18:20

Anna Gallery:

:)

04:18:48

Anna Gallery:

Nice to meet you [Name]

Example 2:

01:51:46

Me:

I hope your team appreciated having a cute

meditating cheerleader on their side...random

but cool meeting you ;) [Name]

02:15:39

Amanda Track:Totally random but totally appreciated:) I


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thought you coming up to me was really chill

Example one uses some throwback humour referring to how we met I

approached her in an art gallery, so I jokily suggest she has ambitions to be a

famous artist.

In example two, I met the girl waiting to be picked up by her track team bus

outside the gym. She had a minor injury so she was just going to support the

team hence I cheekily refer to her as a cheerleader, the stereotype of which

was pretty much the polar opposite of her personality.

In both examples, I state that I thought the girls were cute. This isnt

necessary, but I like to do it to reinforce that I found them attractive and am

interested in them romantically rather than just being a text buddy.

Summary:

Send a message the same day you met the girl

Keep it short

Use callback humour

Ask no questions, or a cheeky question

Sign offwith your name

Following up your rst text: Ping texting

Follow up your initial message(s) a couple of days later. Again, the goal is not

to initiate long conversations where you build attraction or comfort, it is

simply to keep you fresh in the girls mind and bridge the time until you canmeet her again. To achieve this, we developed the idea of ping texts.

Ping texts are based on what we noticed a lot of popular girls tend to do.

Rather than sending specic questions or long winded messages, a girl who

wants to stay on your mind will send short, punchy messages that refer to

something cool or funny shes doing or that she has seen. These dont even

require a response (they are non-needy), but the girl knows that if you like

her and the message is light hearted, you will feel compelled to acknowledgeit.


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Using these types of messages will give the girl a window into your life by

showing what you are up to, and also show that you have stuffgoing on. By

avoiding long winded questions they also imply a degree of busyness. You

actually should have a bunch of other things to do in your day than waiting

around for the right time to message a girl!

What makes a good ping text?:

They are statements rather than questions

They are different they show something funny or unexpected

They are short

Dont try to get overly sophisticated about your ping text or start writing

stand-up comedy. Simple, short, and sweet is good. Just note things youve

seen about your day, and send one of them to the girl:

Just seen two squirrels ghting

Lounging in the sun with my new booklife is good :)

Such a funny day my friend got avalanched from a roof on their way to meetme!

Quirky and interesting photos can also be a great way of conveying a funny

message through an image. You can jokily play on stereotypes by sending

photos of items associated with the girls country that you know dont apply

to them if youre in a shop and you see an extremely unfashionable

sombrero, you could send a picture of it to that Mexican girl you met with the

caption: I think you forgot something.

Its even better if the message or picture can directly relate to what you have

spoken about with the girl. If she told you of her passion for French cuisine,

you can take the mickey a little by sending a picture of a snail you saw on

your way to work with a caption like: Sooo hungry.

Again, you can ask questions if you keep them fun/light hearted. Rather than

asking the girl what she is doing today, ask are you behaving?.. or something

similar.

Example of ping texting:


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00:59:13

Me:

Such a funny day my friend got avalanched from

a roof on their way to meet me :) what mischief

have you been up to?

03:13:15

Hannah Medicine:

Ahah yeah that happened to me when I opened

my car door

03:16:46

Hannah Medicine:

No mischief yet tonight. And you?

Me:Just tripped out on a hallucinogen for a

research study...I thought I was a dolphin

02:04:29

Layla Actress:

Hahahahaha!! That's bananas

02:05:18

Layla Actress:

I for one was a jellyfish

Summary:

Be different: funny or interesting

Make the message show something about you, or refer to something

about them

Use statements, or ask cheeky questions

You can use picture messages to send funny photos and add acomment

Texting back and forth and arranging a date

After your ping texts, you might nd the girl starts sending you her own. She

may start responding with questions of her own to nd out a bit more about

you. You want to encourage her moves to invest in you, but avoid getting

caught up in long, drawn out conversations. Long conversations via text tend

to become boring and there is a risk that things you say will not be


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interpreted how you intend because of the lack of non-verbal cues.

When the girl responds to your messages, keep in mind that if she asks you a

question, it doesnt necessarily mean she wants or needs an answer to that

question it simply means that she wants a response. You cant rely on thegirl to keep the conversation exciting, and left to the girls devices the

conversation is likely to turn into her asking you boring questions, then her

getting bored, and eventually her stopping responding to your texts. Just

keep your responses light. This doesnt mean you should avoid all the

questions she asks, as this may get frustrating for her or she may become

suspicious of what you are hiding. It merely means to keep the conversation

fun dont get sucked into interview mode.

If the girl is responsive to your texts, the messages begin owing between

you without big time gaps, and there is some investment on her part (e.g.

asking questions, sending longer messages), its a sign that shes interested

and ready to meet up with you.

At this point, leading becomes fundamental. Rather than asking the girl if its

okay for you to take her out, youre going to tell her that you want to and

suggest options.

Date text template:

Lets go for a cheeky cocktail in [location] this weekis [day 1] or [day 2] better

for you? :)

This template has a number of strong points.

Firstly, the message shows condence by conveying that you believe the girlis attracted to you and would be happy to meet up with you. This is not false

condence, but social intelligence. If you met the girl and told her you found

her attractive, then have been messaging with her, the two of you meeting

up is nothing more than the next natural step to take.

If you ask the girl what days she is free, it implies that you have no other plans

for the whole week and are completely open to whatever her plans are. You

are also relieving yourself of the responsibility to lead, and the girl can feel


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this as a burden upon her. Take the reins! Girls appreciate when you are sure

of yourself and have plans with what you intend to do. If anything, they dont

want to be blamed for choosing a bad date!

By giving two possible dates, you give exibility for the girl to work the dateinto her schedule, but indicate that you do have plans for other nights. When

offering two days, you generally want to avoid Friday and Saturday, as these

are times when many girls will have plans to go out already adapt this to

what your local conventions are.

If the girl responds yes, then simply send her a time and a location:

Cool, Ill meet you outside the station at 8. Look good, so we match ;)

Example of date time and location conrmation:

Me:6pm sound good?

Nina Surfer:Yes sir

Me:Ill be by [location]. Dress cute, so we match ;-)

Nina Surfer: Arent u bossy! What do you deem as cute?

Me: Hmm...your favourite summer dress, surprise me

Me:Or a Pikachu costume

Nina Surfer:Lol random...that sounds like you have a fetish

Me:You jump straight to fetishes?..night night

In this example, I send the girl conrmation and she jokily tests the frame that

I set up of leading and deciding where were going by accusing me of being

bossy. This is essentially a compliment, as I know from seeing how she

behaves around other people that she normally dominates them. I brush overit and suggest she surprises me at the same time I add a tease by saying she

might also consider a Pokemon costume. When she takes this to accuse me of

having a fetish, I ip it and jokily imply that all shes overly quick to jump to

sexual ideas again conrming that we are not going to be meeting up as

just friends. I then cut the thread on a high note, as I dont want to be texting

back and forth forever!

You can clearly see from this what is meant by keeping things cheeky, light


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and playful the two of us are just joking around together. It is clear she is

happy to meet me Im not doing anything in the text to create attraction, I

just keep the vibe how it was when we met and sustain it by keeping our

contact short and preventing it from becoming an interview.

If the girl responds that she cant, this isnt the end of the world. Many girls

will have legitimate reasons they cant meet, and will offer an alternative. If

she offers no alternative, this doesnt mean shes not interested. Just step

back, keep things light and fun in your response, and send another ping text

in a couple of days. If she doesnt respond to these then its probable that

shes lost interest: move on. If the girl gives no alternative and also random

excuses like Im looking after my friend, shes sick, this is probably an excusemeant to let you down gently. Again, you can keep it light in your responses

and ping again in a few days, but dont get hung up. If the girl is not

responding, delete the number and move on.

Summary:

Judge the girls investment by looking at her responses to you

Lead by suggesting a place to go

Give her one or two options, rather than leaving your schedule totally

open

Leading up to the date

Ideally, you should arrange the date just a couple of days in advance. If you

arrange things further ahead of time, the chance of akes increases. To

reduce this, it can help to send a ping some time in between you arrangingthe date and your actual meeting, just to keep the two of you connected. On

the day of the date, rather than sending messages to check if the girl is still

going to join you, send a message an hour or so before to tell her youre

running a bit late:

Crazy day at workIll be there at 8.30, cool?

If she responds to this, youll know shes coming. If she does

ake, dont gethung up on it its just part of the game.


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Example of the ake-check text:

Me:

I'm running a bit late but I'll be there 8.15 :)

00:31:48Layla Actress:

Haha great cause I am too

Summary:

If the date is further away than a few days, send a ping text to keep

yourself in her mind

If you think the girl might ake, send a ake check text an hour or so

before your meeting

After your date

After your date you could be in a number of situations. If you took the girl

home then the gentlemanly thing to do is to send her something in the next

day or two to let her know you had a good time!

If the date was a disaster, just move on. There are plenty of other girls for you

to be dating!

If the date went well but the two of you didnt spend the night together, you

dont need to send the girl a text the same night. In many situations, the girl

might text you and thank you for a good night. You can respond likewise, but

dont get soppy or overly romantic. After all, youve only been on one date,

and this isnt a romance novel, its real life keep it short and hit the hay. You

could even tease her lightly: Dont have any dreams about me ;).

If she doesnt text you, just wait another couple of days and then re-initiate

with some ping texts. Remember that the girl can feel your silence as much as

you can feel hers, and she enjoys the chase no one wants what they can have

easily.This means you dont need to panic if she doesnt text you immediately,

and you dont need to be worried about having something amazing to send

her the next day. Youll now have much more of a feeling for who the girl is

and what sort of things interest her, so you can use these to help with what

sort of stuffyou think shed nd more funny or relevant. However, standard


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pings like the ones above will always be okay. The same principles for your

texting apply:

1. Be non-needy

2. Be light, playful and cheeky

3. Lead

Follow these steps to lead up to suggesting a second date, using the same

method as you did for arranging the rst. If your rst date was in a neutral

location, then suggest this date at a location closer to your place.

Alternatively, you can suggest an adventure date, such as cycling or other

(preferably cheap) spontaneous activity to do. It should be something where

you will have plenty of opportunity to interact with each other and tease her

(e.g. for her cycling skills), not sitting in a cinema and watching a movie in

silence for 2 hours!

Summary:

If the girl texts you after the date, keep it light and short

If she doesnt text you, dont worry. Send a ping text a couple of days

after

Arrange your second date as you did your rst, and consider a different

location or activity

Conclusion

Text game is nothing magical. You dont use your phone to create what

wasnt there in real life; its a tool to bridge the gap between your initial

meeting and dating the girl. Solid text game revolves around the 3

fundamentals: being non-needy, keeping it light and cheeky, and leading.

Follow this guide and youll effortlessly convert numbers into dates. And

dont forgetwe love to hear your success stories!

Bonus Material


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Yads Texting tips

We asked Yad to give us the low down on how he goes about texting, and

what rules he follows. If you keep these tips in mind, youll be sure to hit the

three fundamentals of texting.

1. Think about the ease of response for the other person. Whenever you

write the text, imagine yourself receiving it. Is it easy to understand and

respond to? Is there any potential for confusion? Is it light hearted or

does it weigh the person down with the need to make a serious

response? You want to make the text as simple to understand and easy

to respond to as possible.

2. Dont complicate things. Youre writing a txt message, not a novel. Keep

it short and stick to one simple statement per message.

3. Dont overuse emoticons and punctuation. Youre not a teenage girl.

Emoticons and exclamation marks can be a great way to signal when

you are teasing or being tongue-in-cheek, but otherwise keep them to

a minimum. If you look at your messages and every single one has an

emoticon, then you should consider cutting down on their use.

4. If the initial conversation was not good, texting doesnt matter. The text

just continues the vibe you already had it doesnt create something

out of nothing, so dont get hung up on your text messages. Follow the

basic principles and you will do well if your initial interaction was good.

5. Use call-back humour. In your rst message, its great to use call-back

humour from your initial meeting with the girl. However, you want to

avoid unnaturally crow-barring a joke into the text just because you

have thought of one thats needy!

6. Avoid rambling conversations. If she loved your interaction, it should be

quick and easy to arrange a date. Dont kill the vibe by getting stuck in

boring, rambling conversations.

7. Look at the size of your text blocks. If you compare the size of the girls

messages to yours and there is a clear disparity (you texting more than


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the girl), then reduce the amount of information you are putting in to

each text

8. The text is a means to a date. You are texting solely to bridge the gap to

meeting the girl again.

text game field guide

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