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Bradley P. RhoadsGrace Marriage Founder

Thank you so much for stepping forward to be a part of your church’s marriage ministry. As a team, we can make a major impact in the marriages around us. Where complacency and stagnancy exists in marriages, we desire intentionality and vibrancy to replace it. Everything needs attention to thrive. Through your church’s marriage ministry, couples will be challenged to invest time and resources into their marriages. They will be given space each quarter to plan and prioritize their relationship. The Grace Marriage team is excited to work alongside of you to enrich, protect and grow the marriages in your congregation. We pray the Lord’s blessing on your training day!

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What is GM? Who We Are and How We Got Here

SESSION BIG IDEAGod wants our marriages to put Him on display. Grace Marriage is a wellness strategy for couples to

invest in their marriages.

THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN THE VIDEOGrace/Sufficiency in ChristIt’s not about the marriage. It’s about .

To have a great marriage, you have to one.

IntentionalityYou have to make and in your marriage. Put God’s truth into

marriage if you want a great marriage.

Grace Marriage StrategyGrace + Intentionality =

What sets Christian marriage apart is how you your spouse when your spouse does

you well.

We have to make room for marriage in our in our , and in our

marriages.

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Overview & Mock Session

SESSION BIG IDEAGroup will be led through one lesson together. This video will show the steps on a typical lesson as

well as the role of both the facilitator and group participants.

THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN THE VIDEOThis session is interactive. You will be led by the video facilitation, asked to fill out the worksheets on

the following pages and share with your spouse. If your spouse is not with you today, there is an extra

notes page in this section to write a letter them.

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Each quarter, we start by praising God and giving Him thanks. Oftentimes, we tend to focus on whatever negative circumstance is facing us at the time. Accordingly, it is necessary to redirect our minds and hearts to a state of trust and gratitude. A grateful heart is joyful and teachable. We’ll start off today by reading Scripture and praising God for the blessings in our lives over the last three months.

Colossians 3:17: And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Psalm 107:8-9: Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

2 Corinthians 4:15: For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

1 Chronicles 16:34: Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!

Psalm 28:7: The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Isaiah 12:4: And you will say in that day:“Give thanks to the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted.”

Ezra 3:11: And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord, “For he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.”

2 Corinthians 9:15: Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

Revelation 11:17: ...saying, “We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, who is and who was, for you have taken your great power and begun to reign.”

Psalm 50:23: The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!

Colossians 2:6-7: Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

2 Timothy 1:3: I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day.

... if anything is excellent or

praiseworthy—think about such

things.Philippians 4:8

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You have heard there are two sides to every nickel. Well, that is also true in life. Every day is bad. Every day is good. Every person has bad qualities. Every person has good qualities. Our enjoyment of life and each other largely depends on what side of the nickel we dwell.

Dwelling on the positive breeds joy and contentment. Dwelling on the negative breeds frustration and discontentment. This is the case with just about everything.

Take my van, for instance. It is old, has 260,000 miles on it, one of the doors doesn’t work, and water actually leaks through the roof onto my lap if it rains hard enough. Plus, it stinks — we have used it through the births and infanthood of three of our five kids. My wife will not even let me pick up clients in it. She makes me use her car. It’s really terrible to drive such a pathetic, old, stinky vehicle.

Wait a minute! The man van (as we call it) has been reliable since 2004, the A/C, radio and CD player still work, it’s paid for and it continues to faithfully serve my family. Plus, it isn’t worth hardly anything and I can load mulch and all kinds of other junk you wouldn’t dare put in any other car. I don’t even have to vacuum it – I power blow the stuff out the back with the seats out. In fact, my kiddos have embraced the man van, with my 10-year-old son declaring “When I get old, I either want a big, black truck or a mini-van.”

One view of the man van leaves me discontent, thinking I need a new vehicle

and ready to spend money on something better. The other leaves me content and grateful for my aged-yet-faithful vehicle.

In the flesh, we generally keep the nickel on tails and get frustrated, but God tells us to flip the nickel over and, “if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” 1

Many people have left their spouse in hopes of a better life or partner after a prolonged period of dwelling on the negatives they currently face. They let such thinking get uncontrolled momentum and there’s no stopping them. They then find another spouse who, like the first, has much good and much bad.

As believers, we have the ability to think differently. In fact, we are told to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”2 If we make a habit of this, we can focus on the good in one another and love each other effectively.

Dwelling on the positive

breeds joy and contentment.

1 Philippians 4:8 (NIV)2 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV).

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We have a choice to be thankful or sour. You can either be:

•Thankful for the help your spouse gives or frustrated at what they don’t do.

•Thankful for the sex you get or frustrated you don’t get more. •Thankful for the attention and thought your spouse gives or frustrated at a lack of focus.

You won’t hear this in today’s culture, but being happy in your marriage is largely your choice. Whether the nickel is heads or tails will determine much of your satisfaction with your spouse. All of us have plenty of good and bad qualities. We are profoundly gifted and profoundly messed up. My wife, for instance, is very kind and can be absent-minded. I am creative and can be extremely thoughtless. I could go on and on, and so could you.

Your spirit toward your spouse will depend on your focus. Extend grace as you would like to receive grace and stop focusing on the negative. Encourage with what is good and lovely in one another.

As a practical way to get started, spend the next ten to fifteen minutes writing every positive attribute of your spouse. Think back to when you were dating and what drew you to spend your life with them.

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What is the content of a Grace Marriage session?• Six to seven lessons per session• Gratitude (Eye Exam) Phil 4:8• Connection (Intimacy Igniter) 1 Pet 3:7• Investment (621 Challenge) Matthew 6:21

Grace Marriage IS...• A respite from worldly distractions and a forum

to work on your own marriage• Opportunity to catch issues while they are small• Chance to take an objective view• Opportunity to be proactive and strategic

Grace Marriage is NOT...• Community group• In-depth Bible Study on marriage• Counseling

Why Grace Marriage?• Change the paradigm in how marriage is done• Fill a ministry gap• Reduction of marriage crisis and divorce• Make a multi-generational impact

When do sessions occur?• Every 90 days for 6 hours• Typically a Friday or Saturday 9:00-3:00

Some groups meet Saturday evenings 3:00-9:00• Ongoing, quarter after quarter, year after year

Where do sessions occur?• Typically at your church• Possible for it to be off-site

Who is Grace Marriage for?• Husbands and wives of any age• Groups of 10-12 couples

THE 5W’s OF GRACE MARRIAGE

WHY?

WHAT?

WHEN?

WHO?

WHERE?

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Puzzle Pieces of Your GM Team | Part One

L - Leadership I - Intentionality V - Vision E2 - Energy & Excellence

DirectorI. Delegate.

Identify the right people for the right rolesDelegate them in their areas of giftedness

Empower.

Encouragement - Keep your team excited and consistently reaffirm the vision Development - Provide ongoing input and cultivate open dialogue

Promote.Communicate Ministry Details - Structure. Content. Cost. Ways to Promote - Pulpit (Marriage Sunday/Sermon Series/Event/Announcements) Grass Roots - (Team Recruiting Participants) General Church Promotion (Bulletin, Posters, Newsletter, Email, Social Media, Website) Transfer of Vision - Individual, Community & Cultural Impact. Crisis Mentality vs. Investment Mentality

Action Steps:1. Pray specifically for marriages in your church.

2. Identify the right people for each role.

3. Schedule a time with your team to brainstorm and discuss their training takeaways.

4. Create time line for the year and discuss promotion for your church.

5. Work together on a budget. 12

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AdministratorI. Organize.

Form Groups - Facilitators and Participants Data Entry - Participant Info Schedule - Tracking Session Dates

II. Communicate.

Develop Communication Plan with Director Send Session Dates and Group Reminders Collect RSVPs for Host/Hostess (Food Planning)

Action Steps:1. Pray for the ministry and your role specifically. Pray too for wisdom in grouping participants.

2. Create spreadsheet/record keep document

3. Establish best options to communicate with participants

4. Meet with host/hostess to develop relationship to work together effectively.

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Puzzle Pieces of Your GM Team | Part Two

FacilitatorI. Move.

Be Prompt Facilitating: Not Teaching Move from Rhythm to Rhythm Restrain the Dominator

II. Protect.

Distractions: Cell Phones Discomfort: Respect the Quiet and Welcome the Disconnected Distress: Don’t Worry....Tension is Normal and What is Said is Confidential

III. Encourage.

During the Coaching Day - Scheduling Date Nights Between Sessions: Emails, Social Media, Group Texts (GroupMe), etc.

Action Steps:1. Pray for your participants.2. Think of the best ways to communicate with your group.3. Brainstorm how you can bring life and energy to the Coaching Day.4. Seek out couples and invite them to be part of your marriage ministry.

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HospitalityI. Receive

Create an Inviting and Warm Atmosphere Greet Each Participant Freely Interact with Participants During Breaks and Lunch

II. Nourish

Provide Quality Snacks and Food Layout of Tables and Food

III. Create.

Well Set-up Meeting Rooms for Groups (Books, Pens, Mints, Tissues, etc.) Comfortable and Engaging Space Creativity and Customization

Action Steps:1. Pray for wisdom on how to best show love to your participants.2. Brainstorm snack & lunch ideas.3. Take an inventory of the décor, available rooms and resources for Coaching Day.4. Think of creative touches that can add warmth to your ministry.5. Ask God to show you other people with servants heart to be part of your team (if

needed).

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