The Art of CoachingIn Child Welfare

Welcome&

Introductions

Shared Agreements

Reflections

Coaching DefinitionCoaching Definition

Coaching is a process by which the coach creates a structured, focused interaction with learners and uses appropriate strategies, tools, and techniques to promote desirable and sustainable change for the benefit of the learner, making a positive impact on the organization.

Adapted from Mink, Owen, & Mink, 1993; Coz, Bachkirova, & Clutterbuck 2010.

Practice CoachingPractice Coaching

The coach supports the learner in becoming more comfortable utilizing the knowledge, practice, and tools acquired from a training. The focus is on becoming proficient in a practice or the utilization of specific tools or concepts.

Reflective CoachingReflective Coaching

The coach supports the individual to explore the areas where there may be resistance, assumptions, bias, or expectations that are impacting their decision making, assessment, goal achievement, or work with families or colleagues.

CoachingCoaching• Is not therapy

• It is therapeutic• Is not “just listening”

• It is creating a safe space• Is not directive

• It is inquiry • Is not punitive

• It is an opportunity for development and growth

Role of a CoachRole of a Coach

- Support learners in meeting a specified goal.

- Guide the learner’s process, reflection, and transformation through the use of powerful questions.

A Coach A Coach

o Provides a space for growth, reflection, and change to occur

o Supports learners in finding alternative perspectiveso Listens for possibilitieso Offers toolso Adds clarityo Encourages actiono Defines measurable outcomeso Acknowledges accomplishments

The Mindset of CoachingThe Mindset of Coaching

• Patience• Curiosity• Honor the learner as a whole person• Focus on the person, not the task• Be in the moment with the learner• Practice self-management skills• Honor that each learner has the answers within

themselves• And…

Coach from the mind and HEART!

Assumptions&

Bias

Reacting vs Reacting vs RespondingResponding

Reacting vs Responding

What’s the difference?

Why is it important to know the difference?

We react when… We respond when…We react when… We respond when…

• we see the “broken” person

• we want to show people their “faults/wrong”

• we disagree with a person’s culture, beliefs, choice

• we listen at level 1

• we see the whole person

• we look beyond the issue and see the person

• we respect and honor the experiences that shape a person

• we listen at level 2 and 3

What is What is Leadership?Leadership?

Activity!Activity!

Practice Leading from Practice Leading from the Front and from the Front and from

BehindBehind

Co-Active Coaching: Changing Business, Transforming Lives; House, House, Sandahl and Whitworth

No Blindfold BlindfoldNo Blindfold Blindfold

• What was it like to give direction?

• What were you mindful of when giving directions?

• What did you do best?• What would you do

differently?

• What was your experience like?

• What did you find easy about this exercise?

• What did you find difficult/challenging exercise?

What does leading look like?What does leading look like?

Leaders lead when they are…

•Authentic o self aware and vulnerable

•Influentialo create meaningful communication that connects people

•Adding Value o passion and aspiration to serve self, youth, families, team, community and their

organization

Leadership from the Inside Out - Kevin Cashman, 2008

What does leading look like?What does leading look like?

Leaders lead when they are…

•Focusing on who they are “being” not just what they need done

•Seeing the person not just the task

•When they are ALWAYS leading

What do you think?What do you think?

• Is there a difference between leading and managing?

• When is it most effective to lead?

• When is it most effective to manage?

“Lead people, manage things.”-Steven Covey, Leadership speaker and author

ListeningListening

ListeningListening• Pair up with someone you don’t know.

• Choose who will be the speaker and who will be the listener.

• Listener: Your role is to listen intently- no asking questions

• Speaker: In one minute time, you will share with your listener what a day in your life as a supervisor/manager/or other role is like.

ListeningListening

Switch Roles

Listener becomes the Speaker

Speaker becomes the Listener

•Listener: Your role is to listen intently- no asking questions

•Speaker: In one minute’s time, you will share with your listener what a day in your life as a supervisor/manager role is like.

DebriefDebrief• In your pairs, briefly discuss the following

Listener: oWhat was it like to be the listener? oHow would you rate yourself as a listener for this exercise?

• 1 = you are wondering if they teach a class in listening you could enroll in

• 10 = being a good listener is just who you are and you rocked this

Speaker: oHow did it feel to be the speaker?oAny feedback for your partner?

Add anything else you want to share with your partner

Listening – Level 1Listening – Level 1• Listening to your own voice• Paying attention to what is happening inside of you – your own

thoughts, feelings, beliefs, judgments• We spend most of our time here• The spotlight is shining on you

• Exampleso Thinking about how something being said impacts you or what

you think about ito Thinking about what you would do or how you might fix the

“problem”

When coaches are listening at level 1, they are focused on themselves instead of the learner and they will miss important information the learner is expressing.

Level 1 ListeningLevel 1 Listening

Listening – Level 2Listening – Level 2• Complete and focused attention is on the other person• Listening to what the other person is saying• Paying attention to emotion• The spotlight is shining on the other person• Silence allows space for the learner

• Exampleo You are on a date in a noisy restaurant and the only thing you are

aware of is the person sitting across from you

When coaches listen at level 2 they are able to see beyond the words that the person is using

Listening – Level 2Listening – Level 2

Practice!Practice!

• Listener – use level 2 listening

• Speaker – Thinking of your last conversation with your partner, discuss some of the aspects you enjoy most about your role as supervisor/manager

• Switch roles!

DebriefDebrief• In your pairs, briefly discuss the following

Listener: oWhat was it like to be the listener? oHow was level 2 listening different from level 1 for you?

Speaker: oWhat did you notice when your partner listened at level 2?oWhat feedback do you have for your partner?

Add anything else you want to share with your partner

Listening – Level 3Listening – Level 3

• Attention is global

• “Listening” to everything you see, feel and hear

• Paying attention to everything that is present

• Intuition

• The spotlight is illuminating everything

• Make space for silence

When listening at level 3, coaches are aware of when and how they are impacting the learner

Listening – Level 3Listening – Level 3

Practice!Practice!• Listener – use level 3 listening and…

o Ask questions for clarification, more information or to take the conversation deeper

• Speaker – Tell you partner supervisor/manager what you find most challenging about being a supervisor.

• Switch roles!

Listening for CoachingListening for Coaching

What did you learn about yourself?

Which level of listening is best for coaching?

POWERFUL POWERFUL QUESTIONSQUESTIONS

What makes a question powerful?

A powerful question…

•Is clear•Is concise•Is direct•Is open-ended•Derives from curiosity•Reflects level 2 and 3 listening •Shows an understanding of the learner’s perspective•Invites introspection and discovery•Leads to insight and clarity•Has the learner looking forward•Challenges the learner’s views

A Powerful Question is NOT:

•Offensive•Closed-ended•Unrelated to the focus of the conversation•About you

You know you’ve asked a powerful question when the learner…

•Says “That’s a good question!”

•Pauses and ponders before answering

•When they have new awareness and/or insight into what is being discussed or about themselves

POWERFUL QUESTION TOPIC AREAS

•Opening the Conversation•Gaining Clarity and Awareness•Pinpointing the Real•Imagining and Resolving•Reality Check•Creating the Process and Commitment•Take-away and Next Steps

Scenario

One of your staff approaches you because they are feeling triggered by one of the people they work with. They tell you that every time they meet this person they feel so annoyed that they can hardly hear what they are saying.

Opening the conversation

•What would you like to talk about today?•What would you like coaching on today?•So, what’s going on?

GAINING CLARITY and AWARENESS

•What’s happened that is making you angry?• What is your role in co-creating this dynamic?• What meaning does that have?• What would you do/know if you did know?• What area of your life/work is most impacted

by this?• Where does a next opportunity exist?

PINPOINTING THE REAL

•What do you think is behind this?•What’s possible from here?•What will it take to resolve this?•What are you really saying? •What am I really hearing you say?

IMAGINING and RESOLVING

•What do you want it to look like?•What do you want it to look like moving forward?•What would you do if that wasn’t an issue anymore?•How does knowing what to do help you?•What beliefs and assumptions no longer serve the big picture?•If nothing changes in the next (time) what will it look like?

REALITY CHECK

•How is this serving you?•How does knowing this change things?•How realistic is this plan?•What’s Your attachment/commitment to this?•What’s the cost of not changing?•What do you need to say no to in order to reach your goal?

CREATING THE PROCESS and COMMITMENT

•What are you committed to doing differently?•What can you do now to move you toward your goal?•What does getting there look like?•What’s difficult about your current process?•What steps can you take so that your words and actions match?•What do you do now that you know this?

TAKE AWAY and NEXT STEPS

•What will you do with what you know?•What needs to happen for you to begin today?•What will you learn from this?•What’s the high point of today’s conversation?•What will you do now that you didn’t do before?

Thoughts About Powerful Questions?

JournalingJournaling

In your journals answer the following questions:

oHow did you show up differently today?oWhat did you do that stretched you outside of

your comfort zone? oWhere do you want to expand even more?o What are you willing to do for that growth?

Next StepsNext StepsPractice what you’ve learned.

In every conversation until you return…

oPractice listening at levels 2 and 3 and be curious about everything!

oAsk powerful questions

oNotice what is different

Share Your CommitmentShare Your Commitment

• Write down one thing you will do to reinforce what you will do to reinforce what you learned

• Share what you are committing to with the person next to you and ask them to follow up with you in a week so you can let them know about your experience.

• Share what you learned in your next team meeting or share with your supervisor/manager.