BEFOPE V

His face is seamed .vith lines of care,Despair and agitation;

His knitted, clouded brow is wetWith beads of perspiration.

Wljat dreadful curse hangs o'er his head,Like sword to fall and smite him?

Or lias his conscience serpent fangsTo sorely sting and bite him?

Oh, no; with friends he cracked someJokes

When all were feeling mellow,And they convinced him that he wasA bright and sparkling fellow.

They captured in his moments weak,This rash, vainglorious sinner,

And he consented with a speechTo grace a public dinner.

^'K' 'I''I1 !"] »Ij'1° 'l*^'I* !»'!«»I"fr

:: Courag'e,v" B

I

.!i Tingley Has In\(aJ! for After-Dinf

A hundred and fifty gentlemen inevening dress sat in ghastly alignmentalong the sides of the huge banquettable. The debris of an elaboratelyindigestible menu had been removedfrom the cloth, and 150 stomacheswere, so to speak, wringing their handsover the problem in their midst.Before each gentleman was his demitasseand his thimble of liqueur. The

air was heavily aromatic with the incenseof 100 cigars and the smell of50 cigarettes. There was a show ofluxury everywhere; yet a look of dog*rnAmic-orr cot nn Ol'prc miPTI and de~

iuiov^l J SJU o V4*wy » .,

spair was abroad in the very atmo-'sphere as at the feast of a Belshazzar.But there was no handwriting on the

wall to cause this dejection. The explianationwas simple. During theprocession of viands the cates and embottledsunshine, conversation hadflowed freely from uncorked souls,jokes had popped and laughter hadgurgled. But now the after dinner

v speaker was getting in his deadlyv. work.

It is said that you can always tellat a banquet who the speakers are tobe by observing those who eat least,orink most desperately and wear thesorriest faces. But once the food has

^ vanished, it is the audience, not thespeakers, that wear the sorry faces.This was not the first banquet Mr.

Oliver Tingley had attended, but itwas the first since his last solemn caththat he would never go to another.He always made such a vow alterhours of that abject despondency, thatliving death, that state of tormentedcoma, one endures while flannel-brainedoafs squeak ' and gibber throughtheir after dinner speeches.On this occasion Mr. Tingley had

been unable to decline the invitation.He knew the dinner would be harmoiouslycomposed and melodiously served.He promised himself that alongabout tobacco-lighting time he wouidfade away with the first smoke. Butit had been his ill-luck to be placednext to one of the speakers. He gaveup hope of escape.He was in for martyrdom. He little

knew, as he sat there, that this ordealwas to inspire him with an epochmakingidea. It is not necessity but

+!-"»+ ie +V>q mrvf-hor r>f in VPT1-aunvn uiai. iu wu 1UVW.W. . .

tfon. How little we know when wesuffer what will be the outcome of our

v* grief! What is the pearl but the teardropof a despondent clam ?

The toastmaster had been chosen forhis political eminence in congress.aneminence that seems to unfit one hopelesslyfor after-dinner speaking.With an eloquence that was appallinglyout of place the toastmaster beganto dilate on the grandeurs of Americanliberty, the westward progress

of the star of empire, the lowly prairieschooner with is freight of glory, andkthe magnificence of our free school system.

It was all very important and moreor less true, but it did not contributeto digestion. The toastmaster let theeagle scream himself hoarse, then madehim scream some more. He pulled outthe tail feathers one by one, and itwas only when he had extracted thelast pin-feather that he consented toIntroduce the first speaker.The Hon. Justice Sudbury had for

his subject the promising little trifle,"International law in its relation tothe origin and scope of the MonroeDoctrine."

» The Justice gazed down on the guestsas if they were so many defendants ina civil action. And he read to them aspeech full of legal verbiage and pompositythat had neither a scintilla ofinterest nor a prophecy of conclusion.He might have been talking yet hadnot one of the guests, who had managedto become cozily drunk, leanedacross the table and asked him in aloud and bibulous tone:

"Is the old horse thief going to talkall night?"The Justice overheard, and came to

a halt. He realized that the offencewas beyond his jurisdiction and hecould not sentence the man to death.He clutched at a few straws and ignominiouslysank into his seat. Everyone applauded.ostensibly the speaker,actually the beneficent drunkard.This apparently unimportant episodestarted in Tingley's mind the firstworkings of the idea that resulted inhis era-estaDiisnmg invention.The toastmaster rose again, studied

his notes, and told a few stories, ofwhose hoary antiquity he alone seemedto be "ignorant. He dragged themfrom their graves with the glee of agrinning ghoul. But as even theeffort and inclination to be humorousare rare at banquets, the audience acclaimedhim with gratitude". But heintroduced Senator Peavey, whose subjectwas "Peace hath her victories noless renown'd than war..Milton."L He spent five minutes saying that he

/

WATERLOO.

Where is his inspiration gone?His mind now gropes and wanders.

And now and then he mutters lowAnd bites his lip and ponders.

He turns his stock of stories o'erAnd tinds with memory murky

He's stuffed as full of chestnuts asA roast Thanksgiving turkey.

So he'll break down.he knows he will.Supreme of all disgraces!

He shudders as he thinks he seesThe rows of glistening faces.

So. as the fatal hour draws nigh,He paler grows and thinner.

And gloomier than a funeral feastAppears that dreaded dinner.

.Chicago News.

4*

7Gary Diner. I ^*~~ irented a Quietus * .* (aner SpeaKers. J 1

4»

1 was no speaker and twenty-five minutesproving it beyond a shadow ofdoubt.He Ixijan logically with the first war,

that of Cain and Abel, and came downthe valleys of history with the deliberationof a glacier, neglecting few detailsand freezing everything he touched.People coughed, shuffled their feet,

talked and groaned. One man gavevent to a cavernous ana revemeraiuyawn. Everybody laughed. But thespeaker ignored him.At the end of thirty minutes Senator

Feavey had reached the paintings ofVerestchagin, which he described withdetail that was harrowing without beinginteresting.A man from Texas delighted a group

by declaring, "If he doesn't shut upI'll shoot him," but he disappointedthem by inaction, though they promisedhim a verdict of justifiable homicidein self-defence. But nobedy everdoes the things that everybody wantsto do.In the balcony a few women sat

yawning behind their fans and wonderedwhat men saw in these affairs. But,like all things mundane, even Peaveycame to an end.Again a long interlude by the incorrigibletoastmaster, then he introducedCongressman Quinby. Now,

Quinby was chiefly famous for theoccasion when he prevented the Hous9from voting on a bill by talking againstit for thirty-six hours, at which timethe exhausted majority promised himanything if he would quit.He began as if he were going to do

it again but Mr. Tingley grew desperate.* He rose from his place andsneaked from the room under pretencethat he was overcome with anose-bleed. Less couragous dinersgazed at him with envy and longed fora hemorrhage or a paralytic stroke tcrescue them.Once out of the room, Tingley decidedto walk home. The silence of the

sky and the beautiful repose of theflittering stars led the thoughts tothat heaven where there is no afterdinnerspeaking. It soothed him anduplifted his soul to a height where heIn-nrrn/? +n /In cnmofhinf tn hp!r> his

VV UV WW . W-JT- .sufferingfellow men and to leave aname that posterity should callblessed.Plainly the crying need of the twentiethcentury was a means of choking

off long speeches after dinners. Warnings,prayers, hints, did no good. Tingleyhad once heard a desperate toastmasterintroduce a speaker thus:"The hour is exceedingly late. Every

one wants to go home. I call upon,Mr. Thaddeus Budd, because I knowhe has the good taste to close the occasionwith about half a dozen words."After such a preface, Tingley had

seen this man Budd rise and talk forone hour by the clock. And one hourof after-dinner speaking equals a cycleof Cathay.He had seen speakers who had talked

on and on while the banqueters, oneby one, in common despair, foldedtheir napkins like the Arabs and assilently stole away.He had seen speakers provoke a riot

of protest and talk it down.""* it ^ i..«

Me naa seen speaners resist, uie Laggingof the toastmaster at their coattails.It was evident that the relief was

not to be found in admonition or prayeror in any human intervention. Thesimplest means of ending the evils ofafter-dinner speeches would be, ofcourse, to give up the dinners. ButTingley knew that men liked to gettogether in regalia over the board.It was a survival -of primitive and cannibaltimes."But in those days," he mused, "If

a man talked too long the rest probablygrabbed him, threw him in thepot and made an entree or a hors-d'oeuvreout of him. Ah! An Idea!"Tingely started with joy. Of course,

it would be impossible in these effetedays to eat a garrulous speaker. Butwhy not boil him?

Tingley hurried home and late asit was, went to his desk, turned ontb#» lieht nnd worked like mad draw-ing plans. His wife found him thereat 4 p. m. He heard a gasp and sawher standing somewhat like the Goddessof Liberty in curl papers, etc."What in heavens' name are you doingat this hour?" she gasped."Saving the great American people

from the greatest danger that nowthreatens them.the danger of beingtalked to death," said Tingley, with astrange gleam in his eye. "Conversationhas always been the greatest sinof republics, and dyspesia admittedlythe greatest blotch on American healthergo, dyspesia is caused by conversation.Remove the cause and naturewill do the rest I have at last discoveredthe remedy."

Mrs. Tlngley was not interested butshe edged toward a cold steam radiatorand listened while Tlngley ran on."Like all the great inventions, my

dear, the simplicity and obviousnessof this chiefly excite one to marvel thatthe ages have had to wait so long forits discovery. My device is based onthe same idea as that of common orgarden gallows."The' speaker, when introduced, is

escorted to a platform or dais, slightlyraised above the level of the floor, sothat all may see him better. He is inreality standing on a trapdoor, operatedby clockwork. As soon as he beginsto speak the toastmaster pressesa button, which sets the clock mechanismin motion. The speaker is warnedthat his remarks must be limited toten minutes. It is possible to prolongthe time by a simple adjustment offhcv /»!#"»/»L-TL-nrlr Vm* iinrlov Tin rirflim-

stances can this be extended beyondeighteen minutes, as nobody on earthcan conceivably have anything to saythat a crowd of men full of dinner canproperly listen to for longer than aquarter of an hour."One minute before the allotted

time the speaker hears a low but oniiniousbuzzing beneath his feet Thisgives him ample time for his perorationor reminds him of his final story.He then finishes and retires."Otherwise.otherwise, my dear, at

the exact end of the allotted time thetrap beneath him opens automatically,and he disappears into a yawningchasm.""Good gracious!" exclaimed Mrs.

Tmgley with pardonable excitement."What becomes of him then?""That depends," said Mr. Tingley.

"I have several schemes in mind. In- - -._x_ ,

pattern a ne is aroppea mio a largecaldron of boiling oil. This is surelyno more than is due to a man somerciless of his fellow citizens. Aneye for an eye, torture for torture."As there is, however, a mawkish

sentiment against making the punishmentfit the crime, I shall expect toinstall more of my pattern B. In thisthe speaker is deposited on a polishedchute or runaway, something like the"down and out" at Coney Island.Through this he glides swiftly andsafely to a porthole, whence he is carriedby his own momentum into awaiting jpatroi wagon, which takeshim to the police court. After a nightin a prison cell he is arraigned thenext morning fcr disorderly conduct,disturbing the peace and maintaininga nuisance. I call the device Tingley'sPost-Prandial Trap, or BanquetingMade Easy. I shall incorporatea company tomorrow under the lawsof New Jersey and begin the manufactureof those pain-killers at once.And now, what do you think of yourhusband?"

"I think," said Mrs. Tingley grimly,"that if you were on one of those postprandialtraps now I'd press the button.As it is you'd better go to bed."No hero is a hero to his valet and no

inventor a genius to his wife; but theworld is soon to see 1 he Tingley mechanismplaced on the market. No hotelor banquet hall can afford to be withrout one..Harper's Weekly.

A MODEL ENGLISH VILLAGE.

Bournville, Where the Workers Livein a Wooded Park.

During the past eleven years Bournvillevillage has arisen, and today itshelters a community of about 3000.It covers an area of more than 500acres, nearly the whole of which wasa free gift by Mr. George Cadbury.The village, which stands amid gardensand park lands, comprises dwellingswhich are not beyond the resourcesof the artisan, and also a fairproportion of houses of the villa type.No two houses are alike. The averagegarden space allowed to eachhouse is 600 square yards; and thatmost of the occupiers take a pride intheir gardens is abundantly evident.The- roads are 42 feet wide, and areplanted with trees. The houses areset back at least 20 feet from theroads. About 1200 out of the 4000employes in Messrs. Cadbury's factoryreside in Bournville. Of the re-maining residents aDout 4U percentwork in Birmingham. Mr. GeorgeCadbury explained that out of their4000 workpeople only seven had diedfor the last four years, a death rateof less than two per 1000. Six hundredor 700 girls had learned to swimin a large bath provided for them atthe works. Practically all the boysand men could swim.No cottage is allowed to occupy

more than one-fourth or one-fifth ofthe area of land on which it stands.Mr. Cadbury urged that if we wereto maintain our position as an imperialrace the problem of overcrowdingin unsanitary surroundings in ourgreat cities must be faced. At Bournvillevillage the death rate was 7.5,whereas in the working class quartersof Birmingham the rate was threetimes as high. One of the principleswhich had been put into practice atBaurnville was that every childshould be within five minutes walka playground. He hoped EnglandTT-/-.n7/I ennn odnnt fhr» Cormqn CfTlPmP

of not allowing any district to be developedfor building without the wholeof the plans being fist submitted to acentral authority..London Times.

Some Hints for Parents.We would like to wager that when

the Topeka girl who left a home ofwealth to marry a ball player andjointkeeper thirty years her seniorwas a child she kicked and screamedif she didn't have her own way andkept kicking and screaming till shegot it We make this wager for thebenefit of parents who in to thechildren every time the children kickand scream to have their own way..Atchison Globe.

\ Palmetto Stale Newsjv w v + ii t y f t f f i

Prominent Physician Dead.Dr. W. H. Huger, SO years old,

died in Charleston a few days ago.For 50 years he was a physician ofthe Charleston orphan home and amember of the board of health for25 years. He was a Mason and prominentin social organizations.

* *

Officers Capture Big Still.'State constables captured a big illicitstill in York county one nights

recently, making the second still thathas been captured in the county duringthe last= ten days. The officersmaking the raid are attached to ChiefConstable Fant's division, with head-quarters in Spartanburg.

* *

Planter Surrenders.H. L. Cox, a truck planter near

Charleston, surrendered himself toSheriff Martin last week.He shot and killed a negro on his

plantation. He was released on bondof $5,000 for his appearance at the

' next term of court.** »

Operator Travis Arrested.T. £>. Travis, a telegraph operator,

whose home is at Newnan, Ga., andwho is wanted at Columbia, was arrestedin Chattanooga and taken backto Columbia by the officers. He wasformerly connected with the Centralof Georgia office in Columbia and ischarged with forging express moneyorders. *

«

Failed to Turn in Money.William P. Sharp, employed at

Claxon's marble yard, iSpartanburg,has been arrested on the charge ofbreach of trust, it being alleged by G.E. Claxcn, proprietor of the marbleworks, and Sharp colectea between$1,000 and $1,200, which he failedturn in to the office. Sharp has been'in the employ of Claxon for five years.

**

Alleged Counterfeiter Jailed.ti. M. (iranam, a leading xarmer,

was jailed at Anderson a few daysago on a charge of making counterfeit50-cent pieces. iSome time ago heturned over to the authorities a counterfeitingoutfit, saying it belonged toa neighbor, and offered to assist inrunning this neighbor down, but theofficers, after a careful investigation,have suspected that 'Graham himselfis the guilty man, and the arrest followedas a result.

** *

No Appropriation for Triplets.Mrs. J. -Christopher of Florence has

written to Governor Heyward, askingif there is an appropriation for triplets.She has them, and they are threemonths old. She has three other children,and is a poor woman.Governor Heyward replied that he

has no appropriation for this purpose,but will refer the matter to PresidentRoosevelt, under whose universal jurisdictionsuch matters come.

** *

Columbia Seeks Subtreasury.The Columbia chamberpot commerce

appointed a committee consistingof Messrs. W. A. Clark, R. W. Shandand F. H. Weston to push Columbia'sclaims for the subtreasury. A letterwas read from Congressman lever inWashington stating that Columbiawould receive the support of the SouthCarolina delegation, and that Charlestonhad been eliminated. He asked forfacts and figures on which to baseColumbia's claims. .The committee was instructed to

get up the necessary data and go toWashington to press the matter.

** *

Heyward Declines Invitation.In reply to an invitation from SecretaryCooper asking Governor Heywardto deliver an address on 'Immigration"at the annual meeting of the

Atlanta chamber of commerce, PrivateSecretary Norment wired thatGovernor Heyward will be unable toaccept.The legislature will meet about that

time, and the governor cannot leavefeis office in 'Columbia.

4

* *

Doctor Found Dead in Road.Dr. B. D. Hopkins, a prominent physicianof Fork Shoals, was found dead

in the road two miles from *his home.The cause of- his death is not knowndefinitely, but the general opinion isthat it was heart disease. Dr. Hopkinswas out in the country and it isthought that he was on his way homewhen he died. About sundown hishorse and buggy came up to his housewithout him, and his son suspicioningthat something was wrong went insearch of his father and found himlvine in the middle of the road dead.Dr. Hopkins was 55 years old. He wasa large farmer and was in a prosperouscondition.

**

Fireburg Contradicts Himself.Lewis Burton, the negro firebug,

new in the county jail at Newberry,charged with the burning of the prop.

v 'c'---- ." / V- .

£- V

.

GREED NOR COLORConsidered by Rooseveft tip^irDischarging Negro Troops.MESSAGE TO CONGRESS

Evidence of Guilt, Says President, 'MCannot Be Disputed.A Blacker'mSmCrime Never Before DisgracedArmy Annals. >' ^

A c JA iiieasitgt: uurn ricbiuwut nwaer- £;>$

velt was read before congress Wd-;ness relative to the discharge of the ^negro treops in Texas, charged with ^"shooting up" Brownsville.The president is so prompt

thorough in his response to the- sen- ^ate resolutions calling for the facts*v ||pabout tlie Brownsville affair that thereIs room for the slight suspicion thathe abetted if he did not inspire the v:«resolutions. His response came in theshape of a bulky document of 18$ j- ... -Jpages, or about 50,00$ words, of which!; ^4,000 words form his message to the: ."senate, the rest including the report

'

of Secretary Taft and additionaluments bearing upon the case.The president in his message say^/: %"I ordered the discharge of nearly^ - ^

all the members of companies B, &and D of the twenty-fifth infantry b7. "' V'.name, in the exercise of my consti-' - ^tutional power and in pursuance of

' '

>/<

what, after full consideration, I founds ?. *§to be my constitutional duty as com? 3roander in chief of the United v fAarmy. I am glad tp avail myself of: Jthe opportunity afforded by these res- ^olutions to lay before the congTes»£kJjthe following _£acts as to the murder- / 7ous conduct of certain members of tbe^ <companies in question and as to -the^i'^conspiracy by which many of tti£other members of these companies . > .saved the criminals frem justice, Cthe disgrace of the United State*--,'

"An effort has been made' to disfe^credit the fairness of the investigation.into the conddct of thesetroops by pointing out that GeaejjfirGarlintgon is a southerner. PveclfipfcjrvSQjjthe same action would have been %en had the troops been white* V .5

"It appears that in Brownsville, thecity immediately beside which^Brown is situated, there had beencoBiJ~y;&}£siderable feeling between the'and the colored troops of the gart^o^T,!.jycompanies. Difficulties had ocoqrir^^Sthere being a conflict of evidencewhether the citizens or thetroops were' to blame. My.is that, as a matter of fact, in tgesqff Vdifficulties, there w as blametoboth sides; but this is a' w&e^'i'. ||unimportant matter for ourpurpose, as nnuirag .^uxai, uccux^.mh^^hfered in aay shape or way an excnn/. |of Justification for the atrocious; %'*1duct of the troops when, inand murderous spirit, and under xkfftyl', " ?er of the night they made thieirv^j7 iftack upon the citizens."TMs attack was made near

night on August 13. The foJlowiaf|y:^facts as to this attack are made clear^ \by Major Biocksom's investigation*'';and have not been, and, in my judg-i ;ment, cannot be successfully canfocn7 "7

"Prom 9 to 15 or 20 of the colored 7soldiers took part in the attack. ThejK. vleaped over the walls from the bajy- Iracks and hurried through the town»v;:They shot at whomsoever they sal£:moving and they shot into bouseswhere they saw lights. In somethese houses there were women and 7 7children, as the would-be murderet*7 /must have known.

"* " tj;7S

"In one house in which there vrer$ 7 .two women and five children soaae t^^^^aUntc wsnt thronsrh at a height '

about 4 1-2 feet above the- floor, onputtiBg out the lamp upon the table.The lieutenant of police of the town heard,the firing and rode toward It; ^He 5net the raiders, who, as hestat-'; ;ed, were about fifteen colored soldiers,They instantly started firing uponhim. He turned and rode off, and

c

they continued firing upon him .'xuskitiiVI they had killed his horse. They shothim in the right arm.it was after-\ward amputated above the elbow."A number of shots were also fired

at two other policemen. The raiders.fired several times into a hotel, someofthe shots being aimed at a guest,'sitting by a window. They shot intoa;.-r',;saloon, killing the bartender and

~

wounding another man. At the same"

time other raiders fired into anotherhouse in which women and children'were sleeping, two of the shots goingthrough the mosquito bar over A,the bed in which the mistress of the xhouse and her two children were ^-x|1hing. Several other houses wereby bullets." »

DECEMBER GINNING

Bulletin of Census Bureau Shows11,099,001 Bales to Date. >

According to a bulletin issuedthe census bureau at Washingto^O£3there had been ginned up to December13 of this year's cotton crop. 11,099,001bales, against 9,297,918'attime last year.The number cf ginneries reported itt;A &

operation this season prior to Decenw ryber 13 was 28,322.

*4 '^