1 00:00:02,631 --> 00:00:03,915 I don't know why I avoided 2 00:00:03,917 --> 00:00:05,500 the Harry Potter books for so long. 3 00:00:05,502 --> 00:00:06,918 These are great. 4 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,887 I just started number six. 5 00:00:08,889 --> 00:00:10,305 That's a good one. 6 00:00:10,307 --> 00:00:12,006 Dumbledore dies in that one. 7 00:00:14,393 --> 00:00:17,812 Yeah, I know, I didn't see it coming, either. 8 00:00:17,814 --> 00:00:20,265 Why would you say that? 9 00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:21,499 You brought up the subject. 10 00:00:21,501 --> 00:00:23,835 I contributed an interesting fact on that subject. 11 00:00:23,837 --> 00:00:25,854 It's called the art of conversation. 12 00:00:25,856 --> 00:00:27,405 Okay, your turn. 13 00:00:28,891 --> 00:00:30,909 That was a huge spoiler. 14 00:00:30,911 --> 00:00:32,677 Good.15 00:00:32,679 --> 00:00:35,196 What is wrong with you? 16 00:00:35,198 --> 00:00:37,749 If I did that, you'd bitch about it for weeks. 17 00:00:37,751 --> 00:00:39,200 Oh, really, Leonard? Are you going to have 18 00:00:39,202 --> 00:00:40,151 another one of your hissy fits? 19 00:00:40,153 --> 00:00:43,154 Hissy fits? I have hissy fits? 20 00:00:43,156 --> 00:00:45,540 Yes, and I have a theory why. 21 00:00:45,542 --> 00:00:47,926 Because of your lactose intolerance, 22 00:00:47,928 --> 00:00:49,594 you switched over to soy milk. 23 00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:51,146 Soy contains 24 00:00:51,148 --> 00:00:53,164 estrogen-mimicking compounds. 25 00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:55,433 I think your morning Cocoa Puffs 26 00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:58,553 are turning you into a hysterical woman. 27 00:01:02,091 --> 00:01:04,025 You are unbelievable. 28 00:01:04,027 --> 00:01:06,060I don't know why I put up with you. 29 00:01:06,062 --> 00:01:08,179 You're controlling, you're irritating... 30 00:01:08,181 --> 00:01:10,565 There you go again-nag, nag, nag. 31 00:01:11,617 --> 00:01:13,568 You're only proving my point, little lady. 32 00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:16,521 You know what? Screw you, Sheldon. 33 00:01:16,523 --> 00:01:19,124 You are the most annoying person I have ever met. 34 00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:20,525 What? I'm annoying? 35 00:01:20,527 --> 00:01:22,794 You criticize my behavior all the time. 36 00:01:22,796 --> 00:01:25,330 "Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements 37 00:01:25,332 --> 00:01:26,864 over breakfast." 38 00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:29,667 "Sheldon, when the president of the university 39 00:01:29,669 --> 00:01:31,553 "is giving a eulogy at a funeral, 40 00:01:31,555 --> 00:01:33,838 don't yawn and point at your watch."41 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,974 "Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts 42 00:01:35,976 --> 00:01:37,225 'cause you think they're ugly." 43 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,510 You're impossible. 44 00:01:38,512 --> 00:01:39,877 That's it. I don't... 45 00:01:39,879 --> 00:01:41,646 I don't have to put up with this. 46 00:01:41,648 --> 00:01:43,965 Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement 47 00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:45,383 that says you do. 48 00:01:45,385 --> 00:01:46,884 Aw. 49 00:01:46,886 --> 00:01:49,521 Here's what I think of your roommate agreement. 50 00:01:49,523 --> 00:01:50,989 (gasps) 51 00:01:53,042 --> 00:01:55,410 You pick that up right now. No. 52 00:01:55,412 --> 00:01:57,829 Roommate agreement, section 27, paragraph 5: 53 00:01:57,831 --> 00:01:59,781 The roommate agreement, like the American flag,54 00:01:59,783 --> 00:02:02,167 cannot touch the ground. 55 00:02:02,169 --> 00:02:04,402 I don't care. 56 00:02:04,404 --> 00:02:07,755 I don't have to do anything you say because... 57 00:02:07,757 --> 00:02:10,708 I don't think I want to live here anymore. 58 00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:11,976 Where are you going? 59 00:02:11,978 --> 00:02:14,579 To live with Penny and not you, you crazy bastard. 60 00:02:14,581 --> 00:02:17,532 Crazy bastard? Yes. 61 00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:19,584 Leonard, wait. What? 62 00:02:20,352 --> 00:02:22,187 Dobby the elf dies in book seven. 63 00:02:26,775 --> 00:02:30,428 Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state 64 00:02:30,430 --> 00:02:34,232 Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! 65 00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:35,867 The Earth began to cool 66 00:02:35,869 --> 00:02:38,286 The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools 67 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,622 We built the Wall We built the pyramids 68 00:02:40,624 --> 00:02:43,074 Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery 69 00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:45,109 That all started with a big bang 70 00:02:45,111 --> 00:02:46,945 Bang! 71 00:02:46,946 --> 00:02:50,946 The Big Bang Theory 6x15 The Spoiler Alert Segmentation Original Air Date on February 7, 2013 72 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:55,971 == sync, corrected by elderman == 73 00:02:56,483 --> 00:02:57,500 Here you go. 74 00:02:57,502 --> 00:02:59,168 Great. Come on in. 75 00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:00,486 What, you don't say thank you? 76 00:03:00,488 --> 00:03:01,788 It's my suitcase. 77 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:04,290 I lent it to you two years ago. 78 00:03:04,292 --> 00:03:05,625 Well, then, I should tell you 79 00:03:05,627 --> 00:03:07,377 I broke the wheel and the handle. 8000:03:10,848 --> 00:03:13,182 So, is everyone from Bernadette's company 81 00:03:13,184 --> 00:03:14,333 going to Vegas? 82 00:03:14,335 --> 00:03:17,220 No, just me, her and a couple of the big wigs. 83 00:03:17,222 --> 00:03:18,855 It's part of a bonus she got. 84 00:03:18,857 --> 00:03:21,224 Cool. Did she discover a cure for something? 85 00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:22,308 Not exactly. 86 00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,227 They spent a ton of money developing this 87 00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:26,479 dandruff medication that had the side effect 88 00:03:26,481 --> 00:03:28,481 of horrible anal leakage. 89 00:03:31,068 --> 00:03:33,286 Is there a good anal leakage? 90 00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:37,874 Anyway, it was Bernie's idea 91 00:03:37,876 --> 00:03:39,959 to rebrand the stuff as a cure for constipation. 92 00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:41,210 (chuckles) 9300:03:41,212 --> 00:03:43,629 Way to make lemonade. 94 00:03:43,631 --> 00:03:46,532 You know, from around the corner where fudge is made. 95 00:03:49,253 --> 00:03:51,671 Hey, I got a favor to ask. 96 00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,423 Sure. 97 00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:55,425 My mom's been kind of an emotional wreck 98 00:03:55,427 --> 00:03:58,428 since that dentist she was dating dumped her. 99 00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,346 Dumped her? What, did he use a forklift? 100 00:04:00,348 --> 00:04:01,597 (laughing) 101 00:04:04,217 --> 00:04:05,852 Sorry. 102 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:08,438 There's nothing funny about morbid obesity. 103 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,056 She's huge. It was funny. 104 00:04:10,058 --> 00:04:11,107 (laughing) 105 00:04:11,109 --> 00:04:12,442 Anyway, I was just hoping 106 00:04:12,444 --> 00:04:15,061 that maybe you could check inon her tomorrow night 107 00:04:15,063 --> 00:04:17,080 and make sure she's doing okay. 108 00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,732 Dude, I'm a single man. 109 00:04:19,734 --> 00:04:22,919 Saturday night is my party night. 110 00:04:22,921 --> 00:04:25,371 Really? What do you got going on? 111 00:04:25,373 --> 00:04:27,623 I don't know, maybe drive down to Hollywood, 112 00:04:27,625 --> 00:04:30,293 hit a few hot spots, see if I can get lucky. 113 00:04:30,295 --> 00:04:32,378 Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar. 114 00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:33,913 (clears throat) 115 00:04:33,915 --> 00:04:36,248 You pay $15 to park, 116 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,850 you stand on the sidewalk for an hour 117 00:04:37,852 --> 00:04:39,552 until you break down and give the bouncer 118 00:04:39,554 --> 00:04:40,686 20 bucks to let you in. 119 00:04:40,688 --> 00:04:42,188 You push yourway to the bar, 120 00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:44,307 where you drink an $18 cosmopolitan, 121 00:04:44,309 --> 00:04:46,425 then you stare at a pretty girl 122 00:04:46,427 --> 00:04:48,561 and imagine your perfect life together. 123 00:04:48,563 --> 00:04:49,862 Your children, grandchildren. 124 00:04:49,864 --> 00:04:51,614 Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy who claims 125 00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:53,766 he wrote Beverly Hills Chihuahua. 126 00:04:54,785 --> 00:04:56,652 Then you give up on anyone ever loving you, 127 00:04:56,654 --> 00:04:58,104 go to Marie Callender's, buy a pie 128 00:04:58,106 --> 00:05:01,874 and eat it in your car in the parking lot. 129 00:05:02,810 --> 00:05:04,577 What time should I be at your mother's? 130 00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:07,330 I told her around 7:00. 131 00:05:08,465 --> 00:05:11,000 I swear, that man is the most egotistical, 13200:05:11,002 --> 00:05:13,119 insufferable human being I have ever met. 133 00:05:13,121 --> 00:05:15,922 Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. 134 00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:19,759 Like Burt and Ernie. 135 00:05:20,811 --> 00:05:24,730 You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers. 136 00:05:24,732 --> 00:05:26,732 Well, I've had it. I am done. 137 00:05:26,734 --> 00:05:28,968 I can't... I can't live with him for one more minute. 138 00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,853 Wow. Where are you going to go? 139 00:05:30,855 --> 00:05:33,122 I was thinking here with you. 140 00:05:35,492 --> 00:05:37,443 Oh. 141 00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,478 That a problem? 142 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:40,797 No, not at all. 143 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,814 No, it's-it's great. 144 00:05:41,816 --> 00:05:43,082 It's terrific. I... 145 00:05:43,084 --> 00:05:45,651 You know, I just can't helpfeel bad about Sheldon. 146 00:05:45,653 --> 00:05:46,652 I mean... 147 00:05:46,654 --> 00:05:49,038 how's he going to get by without you? 148 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,924 Ernie. 149 00:05:51,926 --> 00:05:53,709 He's got Amy now. 150 00:05:53,711 --> 00:05:56,162 Yeah, he does, but it's not the same. 151 00:05:56,164 --> 00:05:57,430 Why? 152 00:05:58,382 --> 00:06:00,466 Um... 153 00:06:00,468 --> 00:06:02,018 Well, um, all right. 154 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,353 You-you know how in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, 155 00:06:04,355 --> 00:06:05,855 Ron didn't abandon Harry just because 156 00:06:05,857 --> 00:06:07,557 Harry started dating Ron's sister? 157 00:06:07,559 --> 00:06:10,593 Harry and Ginny get together? 158 00:06:14,281 --> 00:06:16,532 Sorry. Spoiler alert.159 00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:19,518 My point is, as much as I want to live with you, 160 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,988 I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you. 161 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,840 Please, the only thing he needs me for 162 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,408 is to be his whipping boy, 163 00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:27,710 his-his stooge, his doormat. 164 00:06:27,712 --> 00:06:30,529 Well, you know what they say: if it ain't broke... 165 00:06:32,365 --> 00:06:33,833 Wow. 166 00:06:33,835 --> 00:06:36,419 It sounds to me like you don't want us to live together. 167 00:06:36,421 --> 00:06:37,787 No. No, no, I do. 168 00:06:37,789 --> 00:06:39,205 I do. It's just... 169 00:06:39,207 --> 00:06:41,540 I mean, it's a really big step. 170 00:06:41,542 --> 00:06:42,541 Is it? 171 00:06:42,543 --> 00:06:43,709 We're together all the time. 172 00:06:43,711 --> 00:06:45,144Financially, it makes great sense. 173 00:06:45,146 --> 00:06:47,680 Can you think of one reason why we shouldn't do this? 174 00:06:48,849 --> 00:06:51,517 Well... um... 175 00:06:51,519 --> 00:06:55,571 I'm just a little thirsty. Yeah. 176 00:06:59,359 --> 00:07:01,777 I got nothing. 177 00:07:01,779 --> 00:07:03,329 Great. I'll go get my stuff. 178 00:07:03,331 --> 00:07:05,948 (laughs nervously) Yeah. 179 00:07:07,868 --> 00:07:10,569 Okay, all right, don't freak out. 180 00:07:10,571 --> 00:07:12,838 You can make this work. 181 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,241 Oh, could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom? 182 00:07:15,243 --> 00:07:17,677 I take a lot of medicine. 183 00:07:18,512 --> 00:07:21,597 Oh, please let some of it be Xanax. 184 00:07:25,052 --> 00:07:27,937 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Are you ready for dessert? 185 00:07:27,939 --> 00:07:29,972(grunts) 186 00:07:29,974 --> 00:07:31,774 No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz. 187 00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:34,827 As it is, I'm going to have to carry my stomach out of here 188 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,429 like I'm a fireman rescuing an infant. 189 00:07:39,266 --> 00:07:40,233 Oh, please. 190 00:07:40,235 --> 00:07:43,719 You're a tall glass of brown water. 191 00:07:43,721 --> 00:07:45,121 Have dessert. 192 00:07:45,123 --> 00:07:46,822 Well, I-I really couldn't. 193 00:07:46,824 --> 00:07:49,075 But, uh, I've had a lovely time eating your brisket 194 00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:51,577 and hearing about the things you've had removed 195 00:07:51,579 --> 00:07:53,913 from your body over the years. 196 00:07:53,915 --> 00:07:57,116 Didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst. 197 00:07:58,168 --> 00:08:00,937 The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls. 198 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,257 Well, if you have to go,199 00:08:04,259 --> 00:08:07,593 how about I put a little doggie bag together for you? 200 00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:09,762 That would be lovely. Thank you. 201 00:08:09,764 --> 00:08:11,914 (Mrs. Wolowitz sobbing) 202 00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:16,218 Mrs. Wolowitz, uh... 203 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,104 are you okay? 204 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,272 Don't mind me. 205 00:08:19,274 --> 00:08:21,140 I just cry when I'm lonely 206 00:08:21,142 --> 00:08:23,759 and have nothing to live for. 207 00:08:28,715 --> 00:08:30,750 I, uh... 208 00:08:30,752 --> 00:08:33,085 I suppose I could stay for some dessert. 209 00:08:33,087 --> 00:08:35,187 Great. You like chocolate chip cheesecake? 210 00:08:35,189 --> 00:08:36,555 Sure. 211 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,758 I'll make one. 21200:08:41,261 --> 00:08:45,097 One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk action figure. 213 00:08:45,099 --> 00:08:46,465 That's Leonard's. 214 00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:49,268 Children's toy. 215 00:08:49,270 --> 00:08:52,605 One Star Trek: The Next Generation phaser. 216 00:08:52,607 --> 00:08:53,973 That's Leonard's. 217 00:08:53,975 --> 00:08:57,059 Children's toy. 218 00:08:57,061 --> 00:09:01,314 One Game of Thrones collector's edition Longclaw sword. 219 00:09:01,316 --> 00:09:04,200 Oh... Leonard and I bought that together. 220 00:09:04,202 --> 00:09:07,370 That's a bit of an ethical conundrum. 221 00:09:08,238 --> 00:09:10,873 Eh, I'll keep it. 222 00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,359 So, uh, what's your plan moving forward? 223 00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:16,962 Uh, suppose I'll have to find and cultivate a new roommate. 224 00:09:16,964 --> 00:09:18,881 What a task that will be. 22500:09:18,883 --> 00:09:22,551 Do you know how uncivilized Leonard was when I took him in? 226 00:09:22,553 --> 00:09:24,236 No. 227 00:09:24,238 --> 00:09:28,424 Oh, it took me forever to get him on a bathroom schedule. 228 00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:32,044 He would just go whenever the mood struck him. 229 00:09:32,046 --> 00:09:33,879 Like a dog-boy. 230 00:09:33,881 --> 00:09:35,881 Exactly. 231 00:09:35,883 --> 00:09:37,516 What if you could find a roommate 232 00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:39,268 who was a scientist 233 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:42,104 and already familiar and comfortable with your ways? 234 00:09:42,106 --> 00:09:43,672 That would be ideal. 235 00:09:43,674 --> 00:09:45,341 If a person like that existed, 236 00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:48,027 I would sign on, no further questions asked. 237 00:09:48,862 --> 00:09:51,447 Great. Here I am! 238 00:09:56,536 --> 00:09:58,254 Wait.239 00:09:58,256 --> 00:10:00,239 Here who is where? 240 00:10:00,241 --> 00:10:02,291 Me. 241 00:10:02,293 --> 00:10:05,094 Aren't I your perfect roommate? 242 00:10:05,096 --> 00:10:07,079 Um... 243 00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:08,381 Think about it, Sheldon. 244 00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:09,515 I'm not a stranger, 245 00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:11,133 we're intellectually compatible, 246 00:10:11,135 --> 00:10:13,252 I'm willing to chauffeur you around town, 247 00:10:13,254 --> 00:10:14,520 and your personality quirks, 248 00:10:14,522 --> 00:10:16,472 which others find abhorrent or rage-inducing, 249 00:10:16,474 --> 00:10:18,224 I find cute as a button. 250 00:10:19,443 --> 00:10:21,360 What do you think? 251 00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:29,285 Um... 252 00:10:29,287 --> 00:10:32,571 Tell me one reason why thisisn't a fantastic idea. 253 00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:35,274 Um... 254 00:10:35,276 --> 00:10:37,326 See? You can't. 255 00:10:37,328 --> 00:10:38,794 I'm gonna go see if Leonard's room 256 00:10:38,796 --> 00:10:41,213 is big enough for my water bed. 257 00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:46,001 Um... 258 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:50,289 Good buddy Leonard. Good buddy Leonard. 259 00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:53,476 Good buddy Leonard. 260 00:10:54,311 --> 00:10:55,728 What do you want? 261 00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:58,264 Hey, good buddy. 262 00:10:58,266 --> 00:10:59,348 So, uh, I was 263 00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:00,933 just talking to Amy, 264 00:11:00,935 --> 00:11:02,268 and she made me realize 265 00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,687 that this little dust-up between you and me 266 00:11:04,689 --> 00:11:06,272 is much ado about nothing.267 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,523 Is that so? 268 00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:08,640 Yes. 269 00:11:08,642 --> 00:11:10,659 All is forgiven, so come back home. 270 00:11:10,661 --> 00:11:12,945 I'll make you some soy hot chocolate, 271 00:11:12,947 --> 00:11:15,414 and then I'll you tell you about our exciting new 272 00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:18,083 devil-may-care bathroom policy. 273 00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:23,155 Cut to the chase, Sheldon. 274 00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:25,841 Okay. Amy's decided she wants to move in with me, 275 00:11:25,843 --> 00:11:28,677 so I need you to come back home, you lovable scamp. 276 00:11:30,163 --> 00:11:32,715 That's a lot of product. 277 00:11:32,717 --> 00:11:33,832 Hey. 278 00:11:33,834 --> 00:11:35,217 What's going on? Oh, get this: 279 00:11:35,219 --> 00:11:36,635 Suddenly, Sheldon wants me back280 00:11:36,637 --> 00:11:39,171 because Amy wants to move in with him. 281 00:11:39,173 --> 00:11:41,173 Really? Interesting. 282 00:11:41,175 --> 00:11:43,976 Well, too late, pal. I'm not going anywhere. 283 00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:46,278 Penny and I are very happy living together. 284 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,446 Isn't that right? 285 00:11:47,448 --> 00:11:48,647 It's like the happiness 286 00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:51,317 won't ever leave the apartment. 287 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:52,485 Leonard, please. 288 00:11:52,487 --> 00:11:54,737 You know Amy moving in marks a level of intimacy 289 00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:56,688 our relationship isn't ready for. 290 00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:59,074 Yes! That is a real thing. 291 00:11:59,076 --> 00:12:01,193 And it doesn't mean you don't care about each other; 292 00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:03,162 it just means things are moving at a pace293 00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:05,197 you're not comfortable with, and that's fine. 294 00:12:05,199 --> 00:12:07,132 Well, if he doesn't want to live with her, 295 00:12:07,134 --> 00:12:09,001 then he should tell her how he feels. 296 00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:10,920 Well, maybe he doesn't know how to say it 297 00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:12,087 without hurting her feelings. 298 00:12:12,089 --> 00:12:13,138 Feelings? 299 00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:15,641 What am I, a hippie at a love-in? No. 300 00:12:15,643 --> 00:12:17,042 The problem is, 301 00:12:17,044 --> 00:12:18,761 she laid out a series of logical arguments 302 00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:19,845 that I couldn't refute. 303 00:12:19,847 --> 00:12:21,146 That is the worst, isn't it? 304 00:12:21,148 --> 00:12:22,714 Yes. 305 00:12:22,716 --> 00:12:24,934 I'm sorry, Sheldon. I can't help you.306 00:12:24,936 --> 00:12:26,101 Oh, spoiler alert: 307 00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:28,571 This door's about to slam in your face. 308 00:12:29,739 --> 00:12:31,073 Oh, there you are. 309 00:12:31,992 --> 00:12:34,960 When do I get a key to our apartment? 310 00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:38,998 Um... 311 00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,697 (phone ringing) 312 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:56,654 Hello? 313 00:12:56,656 --> 00:12:58,839 Hey. How'd it go last night with my mom? 314 00:12:58,841 --> 00:13:00,758 Okay, I guess. 315 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,076 What time did you leave? 316 00:13:02,078 --> 00:13:04,211 (yawns) 317 00:13:04,213 --> 00:13:07,531 Actually, I'm still here. 318 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:10,200 What? You spent the night? 319 00:13:10,202 --> 00:13:12,019 Yeah. Uh...320 00:13:12,021 --> 00:13:16,040 after dinner, we watched a rerun of Rockford Files, 321 00:13:16,042 --> 00:13:17,642 and then she opened a bottle 322 00:13:17,644 --> 00:13:20,210 of, uh, cream sherry, and the next thing I know, 323 00:13:20,212 --> 00:13:23,514 she was tucking me into your bed. 324 00:13:23,516 --> 00:13:26,400 You wore my pajamas? 325 00:13:26,402 --> 00:13:27,551 Mm-hmm. 326 00:13:27,553 --> 00:13:29,403 How do you sleep in these things? 327 00:13:29,405 --> 00:13:31,238 Silk pajamas on satin sheets? 328 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,275 I slid out of the bed, like, three times. 329 00:13:34,277 --> 00:13:36,661 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Rajesh! 330 00:13:36,663 --> 00:13:37,795 You up? 331 00:13:37,797 --> 00:13:39,080 You ready for breakfast? 332 00:13:39,082 --> 00:13:41,032 Oh, boy. Breakfast. 333 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,084Okay, Raj, listen to me. 334 00:13:43,086 --> 00:13:44,568 You need to get out of there. 335 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:49,707 But I have a cream sherry hangover and I smell blintzes. 336 00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:52,426 If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt 337 00:13:52,428 --> 00:13:54,595 to keep you there for the rest of your life. 338 00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:56,430 Oh, Howard, stop. 339 00:13:56,432 --> 00:13:57,631 Trust me, you're not Jewish. 340 00:13:57,633 --> 00:13:58,883 That's how they get you. 341 00:13:58,885 --> 00:14:01,469 You're being silly. 342 00:14:01,471 --> 00:14:03,521 I can leave whenever I want. 343 00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:05,756 Oh, really? Where are your clothes and your shoes? 344 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:08,292 They're on the chair, right over... 345 00:14:09,695 --> 00:14:12,463 Oy vey. 346 00:14:16,618 --> 00:14:18,719 Hello, home wrecker. 34700:14:21,406 --> 00:14:22,990 What did I do? 348 00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,759 You gave Leonard somewhere to go. 349 00:14:24,761 --> 00:14:28,145 Thanks to you, Amy's out buying his and hers bath towels. 350 00:14:28,147 --> 00:14:30,214 Like I'd ever dry myself with something 351 00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:32,466 that has a possessive pronoun on it. 352 00:14:32,468 --> 00:14:34,135 Okay. 353 00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:37,121 Listen, the truth is 354 00:14:37,123 --> 00:14:38,506 I don't want him living with me. 355 00:14:38,508 --> 00:14:40,091 Great. Kick him out. 356 00:14:40,093 --> 00:14:42,309 Break his heart. Everybody wins. 357 00:14:42,311 --> 00:14:43,978 No, I don't want to break his heart. 358 00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:45,262 I love him. 359 00:14:45,264 --> 00:14:46,731 This is just happening too fast. 360 00:14:46,733 --> 00:14:47,965 You think this is fast?361 00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:49,183 It's just a matter of time 362 00:14:49,185 --> 00:14:51,635 before I see Amy's leg stubble in my shower. 363 00:14:51,637 --> 00:14:53,404 Yeah, and I've seen those legs. 364 00:14:53,406 --> 00:14:56,524 You might want to get some Drano. 365 00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:58,109 Hold on. 366 00:14:58,111 --> 00:15:00,027 If you don't want to live with Leonard, 367 00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,311 why don't you just tell him? 368 00:15:01,313 --> 00:15:02,663 Well, you know how he is. 369 00:15:02,665 --> 00:15:04,165 He's sensitive and emotional. 370 00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:08,202 That's because he drinks too much soy milk. 371 00:15:08,204 --> 00:15:09,837 Well, I don't know what else we can do 372 00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:11,038 but tell them the truth. 373 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,757 I suppose there's no choice 374 00:15:12,759 --> 00:15:15,593but to face the crying, angry accusations 375 00:15:15,595 --> 00:15:17,645 and the high-pitched wails of despair. 376 00:15:17,647 --> 00:15:18,946 Yeah. 377 00:15:18,948 --> 00:15:21,882 And who knows how Amy will react. 378 00:15:25,303 --> 00:15:27,004 Here's some more ice. 379 00:15:27,006 --> 00:15:28,806 Oh, thanks. 380 00:15:28,808 --> 00:15:30,691 What were we thinking? 381 00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:34,228 We should have just done it the regular way. 382 00:15:34,230 --> 00:15:36,513 Those Chinese acrobats in Cirque du Soleil 383 00:15:36,515 --> 00:15:39,116 made it look so easy. 384 00:15:39,118 --> 00:15:41,986 Honestly, if I could bend that far, 385 00:15:41,988 --> 00:15:44,822 what would I need with you? 386 00:15:46,241 --> 00:15:49,660 If you could bend that far, you'd be doing us both a favor. 387 00:15:52,164 --> 00:15:54,331 (phone ringing)388 00:15:57,169 --> 00:15:58,752 Hey, Raj. What's up? 389 00:15:58,754 --> 00:15:59,870 You were right! 390 00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:02,173 I can't get out of here! 391 00:16:02,175 --> 00:16:04,258 You're still at my mother's? 392 00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:05,375 I'm trapped. 393 00:16:05,377 --> 00:16:07,478 My clothes have been in the laundry all day, 394 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,946 and she hid my keys. 395 00:16:08,948 --> 00:16:10,898 I think they might be in her bra, 396 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,350 because she jingles when she walks. 397 00:16:13,352 --> 00:16:14,885 What do I do? 398 00:16:14,887 --> 00:16:16,604 Hey, you wanted a woman in your life. 399 00:16:16,606 --> 00:16:18,572 Now you got one. 400 00:16:18,574 --> 00:16:20,441 Come on, Howard, help me. 401 00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:23,894MRS. WOLOWITZ: Rajesh, tatellah, I ran you a bath. 402 00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:26,664 Oh, my God. 403 00:16:26,666 --> 00:16:30,618 She's not gonna bathe me, is she? 404 00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:35,372 Gee, I wish I could tell you no. 405 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,428 All right, well, thanks again for helping me out. 406 00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:43,380 But, Howard... 407 00:16:43,382 --> 00:16:45,432 Should we go back and rescue him? 408 00:16:45,434 --> 00:16:46,634 It's too late. 409 00:16:46,636 --> 00:16:48,418 We'll see him at his Bar Mitzvah. 410 00:16:50,689 --> 00:16:52,256 Here you go. 411 00:16:52,258 --> 00:16:55,309 I picked up the Chinese food just the way Leonard used to. 412 00:16:55,311 --> 00:16:57,311 Is it kung pao chicken? Yes. 413 00:16:57,313 --> 00:16:59,230 Brown rice, not white rice? Yes. 414 00:16:59,232 --> 00:17:00,781Spicy mustard from the Korean deli? 415 00:17:00,783 --> 00:17:02,283 Yes. I did good, right? 416 00:17:02,285 --> 00:17:04,768 (sadly): Yes. 417 00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:07,437 Amy, 418 00:17:07,439 --> 00:17:10,274 are you worried that us living together 419 00:17:10,276 --> 00:17:12,960 will take the mystery out of our relationship? 420 00:17:12,962 --> 00:17:13,961 No. 421 00:17:13,963 --> 00:17:16,297 Yeah, why would you? 422 00:17:16,299 --> 00:17:18,299 Oh, and, uh, check this out. 423 00:17:18,301 --> 00:17:19,667 I took the liberty of scripting 424 00:17:19,669 --> 00:17:21,969 a new outgoing voice mail message for both of us. 425 00:17:26,341 --> 00:17:28,175 "Hello. This is Sheldon." 426 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:29,393 "And this is Amy." 427 00:17:29,395 --> 00:17:31,061 "We're not home right now." 42800:17:31,063 --> 00:17:34,348 "'Cause we out dropping science, son." 429 00:17:39,371 --> 00:17:41,705 BOTH: "Leave a message." 430 00:17:43,942 --> 00:17:45,159 Beep. 431 00:17:45,161 --> 00:17:47,611 (laughs) 432 00:17:47,613 --> 00:17:50,164 You can't live here. 433 00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:52,016 What? 434 00:17:52,018 --> 00:17:53,334 Why? 435 00:17:53,336 --> 00:17:54,585 Is it the message? 436 00:17:54,587 --> 00:17:57,254 I only used urban slang to sound tough 437 00:17:57,256 --> 00:17:59,206 so people wouldn't break in. No. 438 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,258 It's not the message. 439 00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:02,659 Well, what is it, then? 440 00:18:02,661 --> 00:18:04,511 I did everything just the way you like it. 441 00:18:04,513 --> 00:18:07,331 You did. Then what the hell, Sheldon?!442 00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:11,668 We have been going out for over two years, 443 00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:14,104 and I have been nothing but patient with you! 444 00:18:14,106 --> 00:18:16,140 I watch your dopey space movies. 445 00:18:16,142 --> 00:18:18,309 I signed your ridiculous contract. 446 00:18:18,311 --> 00:18:20,144 I even stopped wearing lip gloss 'cause you said 447 00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:22,179 it made my mouth look too slippery. 448 00:18:23,064 --> 00:18:25,182 I am the best girlfriend 449 00:18:25,184 --> 00:18:26,567 you're ever gonna have. 450 00:18:26,569 --> 00:18:29,570 You give me one good reason why I can't live here. 451 00:18:30,405 --> 00:18:32,539 It's Penny's fault. 452 00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:33,958 What? 453 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,359 She doesn't want to live with Leonard, 45400:18:35,361 --> 00:18:36,994 so he has to come live here again. 455 00:18:36,996 --> 00:18:38,379 She's the snake in our garden. 456 00:18:39,631 --> 00:18:42,383 She's the reason we can't be happy. 457 00:18:45,203 --> 00:18:46,253 Hey, Ames. Yeah. 458 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:47,554 "Hey, Ames," nothing. 459 00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:49,723 I was all set to move in with Sheldon, and now I hear 460 00:18:49,725 --> 00:18:51,508 I can't 'cause you don't want to live with Leonard. 461 00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:53,377 LEONARD: What? 462 00:18:54,729 --> 00:18:57,982 Sheldon, what did you say? I said the truth. 463 00:18:57,984 --> 00:19:00,217 You don't want to live with Leonard, and you know it. 464 00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:01,590 Since when don't you want to live with me? 465 00:19:01,615 --> 00:19:02,720 Oh, don't get all huffy. 466 00:19:02,721 --> 00:19:04,054 You're the one who decided to move in467 00:19:04,056 --> 00:19:05,439 without even asking me if I was ready. 468 00:19:05,441 --> 00:19:07,074 Yeah, I think we should talk about that. 469 00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:09,743 And since you love the truth so much, 470 00:19:09,745 --> 00:19:12,246 why don't you tell Amy you don't want to live with her 471 00:19:12,248 --> 00:19:13,697 instead of blaming it on me? 472 00:19:13,699 --> 00:19:16,400 I thought we were talking about the other thing. 473 00:19:17,235 --> 00:19:18,619 You're a coward. 474 00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:22,256 Well, the evidence does support that. 475 00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,742 Come on, Amy, let's go drink wine 476 00:19:25,744 --> 00:19:28,212 and talk about what jerks our boyfriends are. 477 00:19:28,214 --> 00:19:29,680 You know what would show them? 478 00:19:29,682 --> 00:19:31,548 I should move in here with you. 479 00:19:34,602 --> 00:19:36,770Um... 480 00:19:39,107 --> 00:19:41,308 (door closes) 481 00:19:47,399 --> 00:19:48,699 Do you want to... 482 00:19:48,701 --> 00:19:50,767 catch up on some Walking Dead? 483 00:19:50,769 --> 00:19:52,953 Okay. 484 00:19:54,272 --> 00:19:56,740 Have you seen the one where Lori dies? 485 00:20:01,846 --> 00:20:03,997 No. 486 00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,283 Or maybe she doesn't. 487 00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:08,001 Let's find out. 488 00:20:24,284 --> 00:20:26,419 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Where you going? No! 489 00:20:26,421 --> 00:20:31,421 == sync, corrected by elderman ==