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When I was ten, I lived beside a park, and a rather

ordinary one at that. It had one old, creaky see-saw,

a row of six swings, and two metal slides. Hardly

enough to captivate interest, but at the time, I foundmyself going there nearly every day. In the evening,

I'd tell my mother I was heading out to play, walk out

my back door, pad across the neighbouring green

field, and find my way to the benches.

There, I'd see the four teenage girls I'd grown to re-

vere. They couldn't have been older than sixteen or

seventeen, with dark eye makeup and cherry red

nails. Almost every night they were there, laughing,

chatting, smoking long menthol cigarettes, and

rolling blunts.

Whenever I could, I'd sit with them, and though they

were little more than strangers, they always obliged.

They loved Motown music, and would often break

out into spontaneous song, screaming in harmonies

as they used the skimpy play equipment as a

makeshift stage. An old standby was Sugar Pie,

Honey Bunch. They couldn't believe I'd never heard

of the Temptations.

Mostly though, we just sat there. It was always pretty

quiet. Quiet enough for them to smoke in p eace, and

quiet enough for me to lean back and just listen.

Often their conversations would wander into the ter-

ritory of death, personal loss, pain, and confusion.

One choked up remembering a car accident she'dbeen in with her friend. While driving, she swerved,

and ran off the road. She felt like it was her fault that

her friend had sustained a sprained wrist and suffered

a concussion. For a moment, she trembled, she

thought that she might even be dead.

She replayed, step by step, the long drive back home,

describing the knot in her stomach. At the front door,

she said, upon seeing the cruiser, her mother bit into

her, screaming, "What did you do?!" thinking that

something horrifically wrong must have happened to

merit an escort. After hearing the whole story though,

she melted, holding her daughter as she cried.

Another talked about losing her mother to cancer.

There were long pauses, drawn out tears, and a com-

fortable silence as the others engulfed her with their

arms. I remember being shocked in that moment, by

the lack of words and yet the overflow of emotion.

All of it was brand new to me.

Other conversations were decidedly less heavy. They

centred around school, or assignments, or parents, or

boys. Sometimes, the girls would get into lengthy de-

bates about the best decade of music, or describe at

great length their favourite television shows.

At the time, most of it went over my head, and yet Iwas still transfixed. To this day, I can still close my

eyes and picture myself on that grass field, flicking

away at one of the red lighters the girls would some-

times toss me, as I listened intently. It's a story I hap-

pily recount, to the great chagrin of my single,

working mother, who would have bolted me inside

the house had she any idea what I was up to. And yet,

besides the added benefit of making me feel like I

could have been a bohemian child, they were mo-

ments I came back to later on in my life. Dealing with

the loss of a loved one, trudging through high school,

and even while listening to The Temptations, their

words resonated with me. Their intensely personal

stories, each as delicate as tissue paper, were gifted

freely. These vulnerable pieces of themselves were

left in the hands of a young, naive stranger, such as

myself.

Sadly, I cannot remember their names. I don't know

where they are today; what they do, who they've be-

come, or the things and people they love. But to them

I'll be eternally grateful for teaching me what a pow-

erful, jolting experience it is, when we share our per-

sonal experiences without expecting anything in

return.

Cigarettes & Philosophy by Leisha SenkoTwitter: @leishasenko

Before I go any further, I must address the fact that if

you are reading this, that means we all survived the

end of the world! A round of applause to Mother Earth

for not self-destructing (like in the movie 2012).

It also means we survived the family gatherings, ate

heartily, and shared plenty of laughs. I hope you all

had a fantastic New Year's too, ringing in a promising

2013.

Every time a new year starts, people approach it with

different practices. Some start a new gym member-

ship intending to go year-round, yet only last a couple

of months. Some attempt to quit smoking, or perhaps

cut back on drinking. Some want to book more vaca-

tions, while some want to find better jobs. Others

carry on like its just another day.

Most, myself included, reflect on our past year. On

our accomplishments, our failures, where we made

improvements, where we wasted our time. We remi-

nisce about the fond memories, and the not-so-great

ones, the new friends we made, and possibly, the

friends we lost.

One thing's for sure, we are our toughest critics.

Which means, based on our reflections, we tend to

make goals to improve in the areas we think we fall

short. Call it what you will: goals, achievements, new

perspectives, slight changes, improvements, personal

edits, adjustments, mind sets I could go on but

each one boils down to being a resolution. Yes, the

dreaded New Years Resolutions.

However, what does a resolution mean to you? To the

majority, Im sure its a phobia or just pure annoy-

ance. And why is that, I wonder? Probably because

many people set themselves up for disappointment

and individual failure. To me, a New Years Resolu-

tion is a pledge, or personal promise to solve some

specific shortcoming.

Whether you make a giant list of resolutions, or focus

on one or two goals, I think its a great idea to strive

to become a better self. And it doesnt have to apply

only at the beginning of the year; we should make im-

provements yearlong! If theres one thing Ive

learned, we can never change habits or traits about an-

other person, but we can change our own habits and

traits. Keep that in mind while making your private

pledges; dont let them involve or revolve around an-

other person.

You might be asking, how do you go about making a

resolution that is attainable? One that wont leave you

feeling defeated again? Everyone is different, there-

fore you need to make it sensible to your own desires

and devotions. Your goal also needs to be realistic to

your lifes demands. We all have the same time allot-

ted to us in a single day, so carving out time for new

projects can always be a challenge.

"Call it what you will:

goals, achievements,new perspectives, slightchanges, improvements,

personal edits,adjustments, mind sets I could go on but eachone boils down to being

a resolution. Yes, thedreaded New Years

Resolutions."

Personally, I love books. Hardy, physical books. None

of that e-book nonsense. I would love to have to myown library of sorts one day, so naturally, I purchase

a great deal of books. As a result, I have a lot of novels

I need to read. But time seems to escape me and after

a full year, I managed to read one book and bits of an-

other. My ambition for 2012 was to simply Read

More. To me, reading one book isnt exactly reading

more. So for 2013, Im going to clarify my vague ob-

jective, and make my new resolution : Read three

books this year. This way, I have a manageable goal

and if I happen to surpass my three count, well, then

thatll just be the icing on the cake!

Try making a practical resolution yourself. Give your-

self a value to reach, or a set deadline to complete

something by. Otherwise, itll end up falling in one of

the Three Ps of Excuses: Postponed, Pushed back, or

Procrastinated. Believe me, we all do it.

As for the rest of my 2012, in some aspects Im over-

all satisfied with it, and other aspects I wonder how I

didnt accomplish certain things. Lets start with the

bad aspects first to get them out of the way, and end

with the warm fuzzies.

Other than my previously mentioned Read More

plan, I also had a Write More plan. Again, I didnt

tackle the writing projects I had wanted to (in addition

to contributing to The Advocate and updating my

blog). Im not overly distraught about it, but I know

now what changes Ill need to carry out this year to

make it work. Ive heard of writers attempting to write

once a day, but at this point in my life, I know it wouldbe impossible. Instead of setting myself up for immi-

nent failure, Ill strive to write at least once per week.

Ideally, multiple times a week would be great, but al-

lotting one decent period to write would be more than

satisfactory to me.

This next part wasnt a pre-planned ambition. I started

the year off single, with intentions to date. The bad

news, upon reflection, is that I wasted a great deal of

time with a number of douche bags. Looking back on

some of those guys, I want to slap myself for even

wasting not just time but my hard-earned money

and my well-thought efforts on them. Not to be ego-

tistical, but they missed out on an awesome catch: Me.

But as I just said, none of them were worth it anyway.

Looking back on someof those guys, I want to

slap myself for evenwasting not just time but my hard-earned

money and mywell-thought efforts on

them. Not to beegotistical, but theymissed out on an

awesome catch: Me.

Among all the stupidity, I did come out of it knowing

more of what I wanted in my special someone. And,

to my surprise, I think I mightve found him So

thats gotta count for something, right? Im ready to

brave this New Year with my new beau, and all the

adventures we embark upon! I hope he knows what

hes in for *smirks*

If memory serves, last February I cancelled my gym

membership, rather than created one. I never went, so

it was a waste of money. Plus, I wanted to gain some

weight preferably in muscle mass, but chubs was

fine too! After a whole year, I can report that I did in

fact gain five pounds! Yeah, yeah, big whoop. At least

I know my high metabolism is still functional! How-

ever, Im going to continue with my anti-weight lossresolution, just to spite the typical, I need to go on a

diet, phrase.

Financially, I feel like I have gotten myself in a better

position than last year, and thats a great feeling! Im

chipping away at my student loan and credit debt and,

even after the deadly Christmas spending, Im much

better off than I was last January. To me, thats huge

news!

My other big accomplishments of 2012 were, and still

are, my involvement with the Brant Advocate and my

personal blog. Since my first piece was published last

June, Ive been thrilled to continue writing for this

ever-growing paper. My friends Paul Smith and Steve

Lacelle were the ones to prod me into writing for it,

and to them I am thankful. Additionally, I am very

thankful to Lucas Duguid for publishing my first-ever

article, in official ink! Its always exciting to see your

work in the physical realm.

Before I joined the Advocate, I was also encouraged

to share my freestyle writing in a more public fashionvia online. I decided to start my own blog as part of

my Write More resolution. I must say, Im proud of

its growth and development, both in content and aes-

thetics. I didnt want to restrict myself on any one

topic, so I left my blogs genre undefined in order to

address whatever subject matter I felt necessary. Ive

also been cultivating another side of the site, where I

share music videos and musical talents for people to

check out. The blogs faade has been ever changing

since day one. Some days I like certain features, other

days I feel the need to make numerous tweaks. For

now, Im at peace with its appearanceuntil I get

whimsical and spice it up again.

Overall, 2012 was a pretty successful year for me. I

learned a great deal through new experiences; I grew

more as a person, apparently; I opened myself to pub-

lic critique, allowing others to read my work; and I

shared many laughs with family and friends. I truly

hope that you, too, had an enjoyable year to remem-

ber! Heres to another prosperous twelve months!

Best wishes for happiness!

Id Say 2012 was Triumphant! by Markus McDanielwww.schnippits.wordpress.com

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7/28/2019 The Brant Advocate, Issue 17, January 2013

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January 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 3

The Creators GameAs I watch the clock count down the seconds, my

heart is in my throat and my eyes begin to tear thebuzzer sounds we did it! The Six Nations Junior

B Rebels Lacrosse team are the back to back

Founders Cup Canadian Junior B National Cham-

pions. The win is bittersweet even though we won in

front of our hometown as we were the hosts of the

2012 Founders Cup tournament. Its the first time in

the Rebels franchise history that we have hosted this

elite tournament. It was our chance to truly show all

of Canada what Lacrosse is about.

My association with the Rebels lacrosse team began

in the summer of 2011 when my family was in the

midst of a sad time due to a family tragedy. We had

been gathering as a family to support one another

through the difficult times. As a result, I began to at-

tend lacrosse games that my cousin, Ian played in.

He was a member of the Rebels lacrosse team. I was

never a huge fan of watching lacrosse, but it was

something I could do with my family and to support

my family.

I remember going on the lacrosse floor after we hadwon the semi-final round of the Ontario Lacrosse As-

soication playoffs. I gave Ian a hug and told him how

proud I was of him and his efforts. He asked me then,

Jenny (his pet name for me) if we make it to

Founders, are you gonna come and watch me?

Without hesitating, I said yes. The annual Founders

Cup tournament that year was in Saskatoon. He was

shocked that I would do that for him, but family is

family and we support one another. The Rebels

ended up winning and making it to the tournament,

and I ended up in Saskatoon for the Gold Medal

game. Ian scored a goal and when he did, he pointed

at me. I knew in my heart then, that I had made the

right decision. As we celebrated the win, there werea lot of tears. Another bittersweet win, my familys

past tragedy was now another familys current

tragedy. A former Rebels player and coach, Keegan

Hill, had recently passed away and the loss affected

our players and fans. There were plenty of happy

tears and plenty of sad tears that day, but we did it.

We overcame the adversity and won. At the year-end

Annual Rebels Lacrosse General Meeting, which

was also the annual awards banquet, I was nominated

as Treasurer for the team. I asked Ian if he was going

to continue playing for the Rebels. He said yes, so I

accepted the nomination. I did it for my family. I told

Ian that I would continue to help the team as long as

he played for them. I soon learned what a huge task

it would be we were the hosts for the annual

Founders Cup tournament in August 2012! I wasthrust into a situation where we had to not only raise

enough money to run a Junior B lacrosse team for a

season but to also host a National level tournament!

As lacrosse is theCreators game, one thatwas given to my peopleas a form of medicine

As lacrosse is the Creators game, one that was given

to my people as a form of medicine, I and my fellow

Rebels executives were determined to make this the

most memorable and unbeatable Founders Cup in

history. Thanks to the support and hard work of the

executives and vast army of volunteers, we did just

that. The Road to the Founders Cup was a long hard

road, but we made it.

Along the way, my new found Rebels family suffered

a major and tragic loss. In the final round of the On-

tario playoffs, we lost a player who was the heart and

soul of our team, Carney Johnson. He was just 19-

years-old when he tragically passed away, very sud-

denly and unexpectedly. Our team was in the midst

of playoffs and gearing up to host, and ultimately win

the Founders Cup, when the tragic event took place.

The grief and sadness that surrounded and consumed

our team (players, coaches and executives) was great.

I can only imagine how difficult it was for Carneys

immediate family. We pulled together as a team, sup-

ported one another and turned to local Faithkeepersto help our boys work through the grief. The sadness

and grief is still there today, but the boys held it to-

gether and moved forward and every win from that

day on, was a win for our fallen brother: #28 Carney

Elijah Johnson.

the buzzer sounds and the Rebels win, 8-7 over the

Akwesasne Indians. The Rebels are a history making

team; the second time in franchise history that they

have been back-to-back Founders Cup Champions

and the first team in Founders Cup history to have

won the title five times. It was also the first time in

Junior B Lacrosse history that it was an All-Native

Final in the playoffs, and in the Founders Cup, which

saw the Rebels victorious over the Akwesasne Indi-

ans both times.

Again I am on the floor searching for #9 Ian Martin.

As we find each other and I hug him close and tell

him how proud I am of him, the tears begin to fall,

bittersweet again. It was then that I realized what the

team has given me and the other members of theteam it has given us family and pride. The Creator

gave us this game as a medicine and its because of

this medicine that we have been able to overcome

our grief and carry ourselves strong, tall and proud

to continue to play for him. We never forget where

we came from, or what weve been through and we

let it guide us to the futureRebels Proud, Rebels

Strong, Rebels Nation.

In loving memory of Keegan Hill #8 and Carney

Johnson #28. Once a Rebel, Always a Rebel, even

those Rebels with wings.

by Jenn HillTwitter: @SN_REBELSLAX

A New Vision for Brant

Phil GilliesYour Ontario PC Candidate for Brant, phil@pgillies.caour Ontario PC Candidate for Brant, phil@pgillies.ca

Present new ideas for job growth & investmentresent new ideas for job growth & investmentExpand college & training opportunities for Brant studentsxpand college & training opportunities for Brant students

Cut health care bureaucracy & improve frontline servicesut health care bureaucracy & improve frontline servicesImprove transportation links for Brantfordmprove transportation links for Brantford

Why Not?When people decide to start an organization, corpo-ration or business, they usually start by thinking,

okay, what do we need to get started? Naturally,

theyll start by thinking, well, were gonna need

money, supplies, possibly a facility, supporters, ad-

vertisements, etc.

Charlie and Sue Kopczyk are different. They looked

at each other, and Im guessing 1 Corinthians 13:13

popped into their heads: The three most important

things to have are faith, hope and love, but the great-

est of these is love. They understand that if their

mission is to build, they have to start with a solid

foundation. They looked at the city of Brantford,

which seemed hopeless at the time, and they had

faith that they would be able to make a difference

through the power of love.

When I first walked into Why Not, I was a little

rough around the edges, or you could say I was a

complete mess. My life was incredibly unstable and

my mind reflected it well. I was rude, arrogant, out-

spoken and violent. I was in and out of juvie for as-saults and breaching many probation orders. I

bounced around from couch to foster home, from

shelter to party house. I was pissed off at the world

and everyone in it. Everywhere I went I was either

being judged, diagnosed or accused of something

everywhere except Why Not. No matter what I

looked like, smelled like or sounded like, they were

always there providing me what I needed, and not al-

ways what I wanted.

When I was thirteen and fourteen, life was pretty

much a game to me, kind of like Grand Theft Auto.

I was always getting into trouble, but I saw Why Not

around and occasionally popped in for hotdogs or

pizza.

When I was fifteen, my cousin Sarah moved across

the street in those buildings they tore down a little

while ago. It was always convenient for me to use

Why Nots phone to call Sarah and tell her to get her

butt downstairs. We always loved going there for

these amazing gourmet super cheap breakfasts thatwe could never afford. They were always willing to

feed us, be there for us and hook us up with stuff

whenever we needed it. No obligation, no pressure,

no judgement, I always respected that. They made

me feel accepted and cared for. This brought me

hope.

"So for months, Idshow up every Sunday,

late, still in my partyclothes, reeking likebooze and cigarettes,usually sporting mywounds from the

night before."One day, Sarah suggested that we check out one of

their church services. I thought it was a great idea.

We both woke up on the couch of the party house we

crashed at the night before, on Sunday morning and

we made our way down to Why Not, also known as

the downtown java back then. We came in late,

smelling like cheap liquor and cigarettes. They wel-

comed us with open arms. Simply put, I was blown

away by the message and decided to make a habit of

it.

So for months, Id show up every Sunday, late, still

in my party clothes, reeking like booze and ciga-

rettes, usually sporting my wounds from the night be-

fore. They still didnt judge me. Amy took me under

her wing and taught me some of the most valuable

of life lessons. Gradually, life became a little less

dark. I was still in and out of jail, but Id pick up the

Bible each time I would go in. The problem didntreally go away, but the struggle got easier because I

was learning how to cope.

When I was eighteen, I got my own apartment. I was

working two jobs, going to school and developing

faith. Amy and Trevor Beecraft, managers at Why

Not, offered to take me to Mexico with them for a

mission trip. We went to the slums and provided a

family with basic needs like, School supplies, food,

etc. We went to a skate park and I told my testimony

in church there and in a youth prison. Saying the trip

was amazing would be an understatement. However,

I was battling some of my own demons out there and

I feel like Amy and Trevor took the brunt of it. They

still displayed hope and faith in me. They still

showed me nothing but love. Words could not ex-

press my gratitude.

"When I think about it,

theyre the toughestpeople I have ever met.Heck, Id even callthem street fighters,

cause theyre out on thestreet fighting thehardest battles."

You see, growing up, I looked up to the drug dealers,

the thieves, the gangsters, like they were the ones

who had it figured out. I had a ton of people telling

me they loved me but no one showed me love like

Why Not did. Its all walk and barely any talk with

them. They lead by example. When I think about it,

theyre the toughest people I have ever met. Heck,

Id even call them street fighters, cause theyre outon the street fighting the hardest battles. Theyre

fighting the battles that everyone else is losing!

Theyre fighting hatred, anger, depression and addic-

tion. Theyre fighting poverty, discrimination and

suicide. Theyre fighting for the lost, the hopeless,

the neglected and abused.

Who would have thought the crazy happy Christians,

across the street handing out hotdogs, would be the

ones who possessed the qualities I was looking for

all along? Theyre real, theyre honest, and theyre

compassionate, determined and persistent. Theyre

loving, caring and friendly, and they always had my

back without me even realizing it! Heck, theyre

hardcore! These people have experienced loss, pain,

hurt and struggle. They have sacrificed their lives for

people like me. For anyone who is willing to reach

out their hand and accept their generosity. Theyre

saving lives people! Honestly, I would probably be

dead if it wasnt for them.

Why Not represents the way we should treat eachother and the way things ought to be.

I remember riding the waves with Amy, when I asked

her, whats love anyway? You know what she said?

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. Love is patient, love is kind,

it does not want what belongs to others, it is not

proud, it is not rude, it doesnt look out for its own

interests, It does not easily become angered, it does

not keep track of other peoples wrongs. Love is not

happy with evil, but is full of joy when the truth is

spoken. It always protects. It always trusts. It always

hopes. It never gives up. Love never fails.

What does Why Not mean to me? Why Not City

Missions is a rare group of positive role models, self-

less individuals, redeemed souls who earnestly seek

to bless the lives of anyone and everyone they come

in contact with. A beacon of hope built on a solid

foundation. Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS is how you

change the world.

by Krystal Froman

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January 2013www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocatePage 4

On November 29, 2012 we got a decision from the OntarioCourt of Appeal in the Cornie and related cases. Thesecases were important because they addressed the ques-tion of how long persons injured in motor vehicle collisionsbeing denied treatment by their own insurer had to waitfor a mediation date with the Financial Services Commis-sion of Ontario.

The legislation expressly contemplated that the Financial

Services Commission of Ontario would conduct a tele-phone mediation within 60 days of receiving the applica-tion for mediation from the claimant. This would allowdisputes between claimants and their insurers ideally tobe resolved without the involvement of lawyers and pro-longed litigation. This would allow disputes to be resolvedquickly so that claimants could access treatment within areasonable period of time following the motor vehicle col-lision which would be beneficial in terms of making an op-timal recovery.

Unfortunately a significant back log developed which re-sulted in claimants having to wait in excess of 18 monthsfor a mediation date. The legislation seemed to permitclaimants to issue court actions or file applications for ar-bitration after 60 days on the basis the mediation applica-tion had failed. The insurers resisted the actions andbrought motions saying they should be stayed on thebasis they were issued prior to the parties participating ina mediation. The Financial Services Commission of On-tario adopted a similar interpretation of their governingstatute and refused to accept applications for arbitrationon matters where no mediations had been conducted.Clearly this was creating a significant hardship for persons

injured in motor vehicle collisions.

The Ontario Court of Appeal agreed with the Plaintiffs andfound that as long as they waited 60 days after filing theirapplication for mediation with the Financial Services Com-mission of Ontario that they could opt to issue a statementof claim or file an application for arbitration with the Finan-cial Services Commission of Ontario upon the expiry ofthe 60 day period if FSCO had not conducted the media-tion.

This is an important decision for persons injured in motorvehicle collisions as it confirms that the purpose of the Actis to protect the rights of consumers. The Insurance Actis primarily consumer protection legislation. As a result ofthese actions FSCO has increased its resources to reducethe backlog. While the insurers are complaining that theadditional costs associated with litigating these claimscould cost them as much as $300 million which they willhave to pass onto consumers it is more likely that the over-all efficiency of the system will be improved and this willbe beneficial to both the insurers and the claimants.

Our first year Create a Christmas toy drive in support of

the Salvation Army was a huge success. We receivedover 700 gifts donated for needy children in our commu-nities. A special thank you to Sarah Hall of our office fororganizing this effort on our firms behalf. A very specialthanks to Brian Vollmer and Helix for supporting our effortwith the Helix Heavy Mental Christmas Show. We filledour boardroom gifts for the last month. Inset picture**Sarah Hall and Brian Vollmer packing up for the SalvationArmy.

Many thanks to all of you who supported and for thosewho were able to make it out to the Christmas Concert wehope you enjoyed and will be back again next year wherewe promise to make it even bigger and better!

As always I can be reached anytime at the email addressbelow with any questions or inquiries you may have. Wish-ing you all the very best for 2013.

Conversations, Waterfronts and that Sign on your Lawn

I was speaking with Mary Lou Knechtel back in the spring

and she reminded me of our water challenge in the north-

west part of Brantford near the Northwest walking bridge.

As our city inevitably grows, land is needed for buildingnew homes and businesses. One area prime for develop-

ment is in the northwest, along Hardy Road. Three projects,

totaling over 1,000 new homes, are planned by developers

and await the outcome of Ontario Municipal Board hear-

ings before ground gets moved and building begins.

Lou is involved with a group called The Hardy Road Area

Citizens Committee (THRACC) and asked me if Id put up

a lawn sign that reads:

NO DEVELOPMENT IN THE HARDY ROAD AREA!

PROTECT OUR SOURCE WATER AND ENVIRON-

MENT. VISIT www.thracc.com

Despite thinking that no development was unreasonable, I

do think we have to protect our source water so I said Of

course!.

The sign sat beside the garage for a couple of weeks before

my wife told me that she had seen the same sign at a friends

house on Tollgate and ours went up that afternoon. About

three weeks later, a neighbor four doors down knocked onthe door asking where he could get one too.

I dont get involved in politics but this is important, he

told me. A lifelong resident of Brantford, Graham uses the

trails with his young family. When I asked him what made

it important, he said that, to him, water quality was one as-

pect of a healthy community. In Brantfords case, we draw

water from the Grand River at Wilkes Dam. It is treated in

a world-class facility before coming out our taps. When it

goes down the drain in our homes, it goes to another city

facility before being returned to the Grand where it makes

it way down river to Lake Erie. Grahams family also uses

a Reverse Osmosis system to further clean their water.

While recognizing that development has to happen, he

talked about how cities have grown so far and the lessons

we should have learned. Planners should have a better idea

today than 2030 years ago, of the impact of altering an

ecosystem that helps filter water. Altering it, seems to him,

was a step backwards. He mentioned talking to his oldest

son, now 7, about knowing what things you can change,

changing what you can and where you can help. We chatted

a few more minutes before he left me with the parting

thought that the government should own land that has a sig-nificant impact on its community.

Does this area have significant impact on its community?

The area is home to lots of wildlife as well as various en-

dangered plant and animal species. There is also a cold

water spawning creek for trout, natural water spouts and a

perched fen. It turns out that the Prairie Fen here is the only

example of its kind in Ontario. Perched Fens, or hillside

wetlands, are made up of wet prairie sedges, grasses and

shrubs which helps to create an ecosystem all its own. Im

told there is a 13,000-year-old limestone formation called

a tufa mound there too. The Ministry of Natural Resources

has designated it as an area of natural and scientific inter-

est. The ancient Mohawk archaeological site known as

Davisville is here as well.

A couple of weeks after Grahams sign went up, I noticed

three more signs had arrived up the street.

The first sign belongs to John who has lived in Brantford

since 1966. Retired, John walks and rides the trails regu-

larly. He saw the two signs down the street and asked Gra-

ham, who he worked with in Cainsville, where to get one.

John was born and raised on a farm which helped him un-

derstand the importance of water quality. I thought later that,

like the planners Graham talked of, farmers may have a

stronger understanding of the impact altering land because

their livelihood depends on it. John thinks the trail area is

nice and wants it kept. Hes not sure what impact a lawn

sign has or if it will affect the ultimate decision but he still

made the effort not only to get a sign but he ordered an extra

for his next door neighbors knowing they would put one up

without a thought.

The real issue is about

Brantfords WaterfrontMaster Plan and thepublics right to

waterfront access.

As John said, Gerry and Kathy took a sign without a

thought. It turns out Lou had stopped in to see them earlier

and they had agreed to take a sign already as John knew

they would. My conversation with Gerry took a different

turn. Apathy, said Gerry, when we talked about why peo-

ple in general didnt get involved in things. Unless asked,

they dont ask and let life go right by them. Were too busy

with work, many times in another city, and other things.

Its an on-going challenge. People go in the house and

close the door. To Gerry this is about a bigger issue, urban

sprawl. This isnt the 50s or 60s when urban sprawl took

over. The days of urban sprawl should be curtailed. We need

other ways to build. He went on to talk about McMansions

and the short-sighted desires of people when it comes to

urban planning. I thought about Grahams planners andgovernments responsibility to the community as a whole.

Like Grahams family and John, Gerry and Kathy enjoy the

trails. The domino effect when we start cutting down trees

is huge. We destroy nature and then build a park as if that

will properly replace what has been destroyed. I believe we

are long term stewards of the land while developers see only

immediate dollars in someone elses community. I

waited for him to say carpet-baggers but he didnt.

Across the street from John, Gerry and Kathy lives Linda,

who moved here from Burford in November 2011. She was

working on her lawn when the other signs were being

dropped off. There was an extra sign and it was quickly

put up on her lawn. Although shes a farm girl, it wasnt

until she heard Sheila Smith speak to a group in Cathcart

about water quality that she really began to appreciate howimport water is and how easy it is to contaminate it is. Its

very important, she told me. We drink it! New to the city

and a regular trail user, Linda had always been on well

water. She told me that you can get a positive test from a

well and within two weeks find the same well contami-

nated. People dont know enough about water. You turn

on a tap and there it is. We talked about how many people,

especially urbanites (city folk), who think food and bottled

water is made in the back of a grocery store. Lindas son

works for a water treatment facility and Linda has fullest

confidence in municipal water.

After speaking with these folks, I called Lou. She told me

her involvement in this actually began in 1996. That was

the year logging began down the road she and her family

live on. She became concerned about how the forest was

being logged especially around ravines and in the valley.

She spoke with the GRCA and County who agreed im-

provements were needed to the by-laws and, after review-

ing lessons learned since last by-laws were written, changes

were made. While doing this, she came across Ilse Kraemer

who was researching an area, near the Grand River north-west of the city, known as Davisville which is owned by

Sifton Properties. With her experience from logging and

by-laws, Lou agreed to help Ilse identify features that made

the area unique.

The real issue is about Brantfords Waterfront Master Plan

and the publics right to waterfront access. After two years

of public consultation the City, with a consulting, firm cre-

ated an award-winning plan for the lands along the Grand

River within the City of Brantford. On June 28, 2010, City

Council approved the Waterfront Master Plan in principle.

The plan addresses many issues including: environmental

Issues, River/Tributary Recreational Access and Use, De-

velopment Analysis, Land Use Analysis, and Tourism Op-

portunities. The next step is to fine tune it and then have it

put into the Citys Official Plan.

Right now, in Brantford, the Ontario Municipal Board

(OMB) is hearing arguments from three development com-

panies as to why they should be allowed to proceed with

development of over 1,000 new homes.

Lou told me her concern is that the City will be saddledwith liability concerns of flooded residential basements and

unprotected source groundwater after the proponents are

long gone from our community. Building in any area is not

wise with insufficient scientific evidence regarding up-

welling ground water, as geo-scientist Daryl Cowell has

shown at the hearings. Sifton monitoring wells have not

given enough information regarding possible flooding here

and the effect on source groundwater. Since writing this,

three more signs have popped up in our neighbourhood, re-

minding me that, however small, each of our actions can

make a difference. To order your sign, e-mail:

thracc@gmail.com.

Brantfords not-for-profit industry will be facing many keychallenges over the next few years as they compete for dol-

lars and volunteer time. Whether social, cultural or spiritual

in their focus, they share common problems of raising

funds, declining government support, rising costs and fewer

dollars to support an ever increasing number of worthy

causes.

I dont know whether its just me but I have found that

fundraising approaches from not-for-profit organizations

were unusually high in December. Within a two week pe-

riod, we received over sixteen telephone calls, four letters

and three e-mails from organizations seeking support for

worthy causes. I suspect that, in the coming years, there is

going to be even greater pressure from the not-for-profit

sector seeking support for a diversity of funding require-

ments and volunteer support to support their agendas. While

the desire to meet community needs is commendable, the

reality is that there are only so many dollars available

whether the source is government, corporations or individ-

uals.

A recent report from the Deloitte not-for-profit Group ex-amined the state of the not-for-profit industry in Australia,

which is not dissimilar to Canada. Declining government

funding and increasing costs associated with regulatory and

compliance requirements are factors affecting the industry

here in Ontario. The negative impact of fundraising for not-

for-profits due to the global economic challenges is also a

factor affecting local not-for-profits and certainly one can-

not discount the impact of global catastrophes that draw

dollars from every local community. At the same time, for

agencies providing client services, demand is on the in-

crease as a result of the economic downturn. Service deliv-

ery is further impacted by a shortage of skilled staff in the

sector and increasing wage demands.

Deloittes study examined institutionalized not-for-profits

like, for example, the Cancer Society and the Heart and

Stroke Foundation, as well as community-based organiza-

tions. Government accounted for 43% of the funds raised,

36% from commercial activity, 15% from public cam-

paigns, and 5% from the corporate sector. Interestingly,

45% relied on annual campaigns to raise funds, 40% uti-lized direct mail, 37% used major events such as charity

auctions, and only 12% relied on call centers or door-to-

door campaigns. On the cost side, they generally spent be-

tween 11-15% of their revenue on fundraising. When asked

what their priorities would be for the coming year, not sur-

prisingly, the respondents said that raising more money and

reducing operating costs were major priorities.

A study in Britain that examined fundraising challenges

found that there was overdependence in targeting the eld-

erly population, those between 70 and 80 which made up

11.8% of the population because they match the Dorothy

Donor profile. They also found that people under 40 tended

to support specific causes, particularly if they were accessed

with the right technology. The study noted that there was a

decline in legacy donations, donor fatigue, declining cor-

porate support, and a tendency to provide support based on

impulse, not a lasting relationship, particularly among the

under-40 group. Although there is some tax advantage to

assisting not-for-profits, the dollar value of the contribution

has to be fairly high to gain meaning tax benefit, though it

all helps.

The problem is that in difficult economic times and unem-

ployment of 8.2% in Brant, it is difficult for many to find

the cash needed to make that contribution.

There is an active community out fundraising here in Brant-

ford, and that extends beyond the call centers. There are

hundreds of local volunteers out raising money for not-for-

profits. The United Way and Catholic Charities are a great

way to consolidate assistance and ensure that a diversity of

causes get support, though the demand for assistance is

clearly exceeding the supply of capital. Moreover, many

organizations do not fall under their corporate umbrella.

One can also look at the Brant Community Foundation

which assists many not-for-profits with project specific fi-

nancing. Unfortunately, most grant financing does not cover

operating costs and, in fact, requires that the beneficiary

provide proportional financing in support of the project.

Service organizations such as the Rotary Club, Knights of

Columbus, and Optimists Club all help by running pro-

grams to raise money for a variety of projects. Friends ofthe not-for-profits may run auctions, bingos, draws, and

walk-a-thons. Corporations such as Tim Hortons, Shop-

pers Drug Mart, or Metro Foods may use their retail power

to raise funds for specific projects.

Having said all this, the reality is we have only so many

dollars to give and limited hours available to work on proj-

ects.

In speaking to a few of my friends who are adept at raising

funds for charities, most agree that fundraising is not about

raising money, but it is about raising friends. People want

to know that their dollars will be well managed and achieve

intended results. They want a relationship and want to be

informed, though not bombarded. They also explained that

it takes time, planning and effort to achieve the desired re-

sults, and it requires donor maintenance to sustain those re-

sults. What this suggests to me is that financial support is

likely to become more focused and more targeted. So those

not-for-profits with the best track record, best management

practices, most sophisticated donor support program, and

a clear sense of community are likely to be the most suc-cessful at raising funds and attracting volunteers. Unfortu-

nately, this may be at the peril of those who are not.

The adage that there is enough to go around is no longer

true. We should be preparing ourselves for the fact that

some not-for-profits may not be able to sustain operations.

The reality may be that it is better to have fewer but stronger

not-for-profits than to have many that are continuously

struggling. I dont know. Certainly those that are struggling

are hopefully filling a need. If that service disappears, will

it be absorbed elsewhere? What will happen to the com-

mitted volunteers who support these causes? Is there a bet-

ter paradigm or model that we can use help those that

continuously struggle? Should funding organizations be

shifting their model from project financing to operational

assistance? Does the tax system needed to reform to incent

people to increase not-for-profit contributions?

These questions will be a matter for debate. That debate is

not far off.

by Stan GoreckiFacebook: Stan Gorecki

Not For Profit Dilemma by Stan GoreckiFacebook: Stan Gorecki

7/28/2019 The Brant Advocate, Issue 17, January 2013

5/12

A Misunderstanding of AutismI flick on the television, sit down, and enjoy two of the

most popular sitcoms in todays media- NBCs Commu-

nity and CBSs Big Bang Theory. Both these shows have

something common in regards to the generally agreed

upon favourite characters. Both Communitys Abed

Nadir, played by Danny Pudi, and Big Bang Theorys

Sheldon Cooper, portrayed by Jim Parsons, have traits

commonly associated with Aspergers syndrome, a Per-

vasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) that fits under

the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). But

personally, as much as I love both Abed and Sheldon, I

feel that these two socially awkward, loveable characters

perpetuate myths about autism that we should have out-

grown by now.

Myth One- Everyone with autism has a savant skill.

Rain Man is a cinema classic. In it, we see Dustin Hoff-

man playing Raymond Babbitt; a savant with the ability

of eidetic (or photographic) memory. This sparked a

myth around those diagnosed with autism that all autis-

tics have a savant skill. Be it an artistic genius, a musical

brilliance, or being a card counting virtuoso. Yet, this is

not true. Im sorry to say it, but I know a lot of people

diagnosed with autism, and not one has a savant skill.

On this one, the media is not an accurate source of in-

formation; youve heard it before, and Im stressing it

again.

Myth Two- Everyone with autism is the same.

One you may not hear often, unless you have ties to the

Autism community (then youll probably hear this as-

sumed or insinuated a lot) is that everyone with autism

is the same. The thing is, like every single person in the

world, we are all different. That doesnt change whether

youre diagnosed with autism or not. The autism spec-

trum covers a vast range of cognitive ability, and not

only that, but the interests one has, emotions one feels,

or attitudes one may express, are not based on the diag-

nosis you are given. These interests, emotions, and atti-

tudes are what make you, you. Whether or not you have

been stamped autistic or not, everyone is a unique in-

dividual.

Myth Three- People with autism cant talk.

Although this is true in some cases, its not true in all.

The range of abilities and skills between those with

autism is vast. This includes verbal development. Some

children, and some adults with autism, can be greatly de-

veloped in language skills, whereas others have no use

of speech whatsoever. This is explained in greater detail

over several scientific journals and as well as over the

Internet.

Myth Four- People with autism cant understand you.

Youre not being ignored; what you say is not going over

the heads of those youre speaking to, or speaking about.

You should watch what you say if youre talking about

someone. You may not be granted a response (verbally)

but that doesnt mean youre not being understood.

When one takes the time to get to know someone with

autism, theyll start to realize that someone diagnosed

(whos non-verbal) may express feelings in other ways.

For example, the way they move, or the way they act can

signify what theyre feeling. If you see someone with

any disability, just know that its not acceptable to criti-

cize. Every insult you say is being understood.

Myth Five- Autism has a cure.

In the eyes of some people, this is a rather unfortunate

myth. But, with my job as an Autism Support Worker

Ive come to learn one valuable lesson, autism may not

have a cure, but thats because its not a disease, or an

illness. Autism is just another aspect of whoever is di-

agnosed. Its a part of them, just like their brown hair, or

their big smile. In my opinion, finding a cure is like the

old adage why fix something thats not broken?

So no, autism doesnt have a cure. Not everyone with

autism has a savant skill, nor is everyone with autism the

same. Many people with autism can talk, and remember

they can all understand you.

by Cody GroatTwitter: @Sputnik_News

YOBO - You Only Brantford OnceNow that Im entering my final year here at Laurier

Brantford, I am fraught with the debilitating anxiety

brought on by the fact that I am slowly, reluctantly, com-

ing to terms with the fact that not only will I be leaving

this wonderful institution, but in addition to that, I will

have to face the looming OSAP payments that wait for

me in the darkness of my somewhat uncertain future.

Wow, that got dark really fast. Suffice to say Im not

ready to leave! Why should I be? This place has been

my home for the past three years, and now I find myself

facing a blistering reality that I will never again end a

beautiful summer day with a battle-royale against a lag-

ging, uncooperative, overburdened LORIS for a class

that I was so certain would be a bird course, but actually

turned out to be the exact opposite. On second thought,

probably not that last bit. So why am I writing this?

Surely, The Sputnik wouldnt endorse the self-indulgent

ramblings of a slightly neurotic fourth-year student. Lets

skip past the melodramatics, bypass the filter and arrive

at the point; make the most of your time here, or else risk

graduating with simply a degree with a barren Co-Cur-

ricular Record, and no memories nor tales of late night

Lonnies runs, going to concerts at The Mixdown or

awkward moments at NV.

If youre reading this and you plan on sticking around

for the next few years, I suggest you do one or more or

all of the following. In no particular order, Laurier Brant-

ford, I present to you the most important tidbits of advice

one could give in order to make the most of your time

here at Laurier Brantford.

Get involved

Never underestimate the things you can learn from get-

ting involved around campus. The call from student

leadership here is as great as it is never-ending. Although

fall hiring may be closed for WLUSU and Student Af-

fairs, WLUSP could use some great writers. You can al-

ways join a campus club, and if you dont like any of the

clubs available, you can always make your own.

Why get involved? Well, not only can you put these

things on your CCR, youll be networking, making

friends, and doing something that you enjoy. While the

academic rigor of your studies may provide you with joy,

you still need to take a break and devote yourself to

something remotely recreational.

Dont Procrastinate

When I first wrote this, a Boromir meme that read

One does not simply stop procrastinating came to

mind. Its important. The reason you hate writing essays

is because next to your JSTOR tabs you have Facebook,Twitter, Iwastesomuchtime, and quite possibly Thi-

siswhyimbroke, in the very same window waiting to

elicit your productivity downfall. Or the reason you

failed to submit that paper into the dropbox on MyLearn-

ingSpace may have something to do with the fact that a

night stumbling home from NV while gorged on the

decadent treats afforded to you by Admirals won out

over actually doing your homework.

Resist the urge, my friends. NV and Admirals will al-

ways be there, but remember your GPA is in a state of

constant flux (depending on the kind of student you are).

I suppose what Im trying to say in both cases is: find

balance in your life. You only get one shot at this under-

grad. When you look back, make sure that its replete

with awesome memories, while at the same time; ensure

you actually get your degree. Make the most out of it,

and seize that carp, Laurier Brantford.

by Carla Egesi@mynameiscarlae

The Battle of Downtown ParkingIt seems that the game of musical chairs is one that is

played quite frequently in Brantfords downtown core;

except in this version, students are consistently moving

their cars from parking space to parking space and the

cost of losing is a ticket. Although commuting students

have their fair share of complaints about the citys lack

of parking spaces available to them, and the very limited

amount of time allotted per space, the options available

to them are very much present, and the concerns do not

go without any attention to it.

With the growth and development each year at Laurier

Brantford, the main concern of students is the limited

amount of parking, and what will be done to help this

problem. While there are around 950 spots available for

$45 a month at the Market Centre parking plaza, there

seems to be a lack of use for these spots.

Victoria Readings, a third-year Criminology student

commuting from Brant County says, I dont pay for

parking because I dont feel safe in the Market Centre

parking lot, therefore paying for a spot in there is useless

if not ridiculous. People have their cars keyed, broken

into, and damaged in the parkade all the time. The light-

ing is terrible, and the security is scarce.

Readings continued to explain, Even student permit

parking lots are inadequate. There are very few spots and

even when you pay for a permit you often cannot get a

spot. Third-year Concurrent-Education student Amanda

Censner said she had experienced getting a parking

ticket in her first year while she was in class. The ticket

cost is $20 and her usual parking spot, which was Lau-

rier parking only, had been taken, forcing her to use the

street parking. The Laurier parking allowed for students

only is very limited, and at a first come, first serve basis.

Censner says that her main concern with Brantford park-

ing is, It is always so difficult to find a spot, and youusually have limited time to stay in that spot. This makes

it difficult for when students have back-to-back classes

because you always have to be concerned about moving

your car and not getting a parking ticket.

Students already pay the high cost of tuition, so the extra

costs of ticketing should not have to be a worry, accord-

ing to Censner.

Although the students of Laurier Brantford have no

doubt raised the downtown core of Brantford up, the

parking for businesses located downtown must also re-

main and also be kept in mind. Transportation Technol-

ogist Robert Smith commented on how the students felt

about the lack of transportation, Theres plenty of park-

ing in the Market Centre parkade, its just that students

dont want to pay for parking.

When asked about the safety concerns of the parkade,

he said, Its a valid concern, but whether one feels safe

or not is objective, there are safety guards, safety cam-

eras, and in regards to the lighting, it is being looked into

and improved.

Smith continued to say that the street parking is not in-

tended for students, but rather for the people going about

their days, and that is why there is so little time allotted

for each spot. In regards to the growth of Laurier Brant-

fords student body, Smith says that there are plans foranother parking garage adjacent to the transit terminal

that will be combined with it. Heather Bouillon, Finan-

cial Coordinator at Laurier Brantford, feels there is suf-

ficient parking to meet the students needs.

This past year, we formed a Laurier Brantford Parking

Advisory Committee, including two student representa-

tives to look at how better to serve our customers. From

this committee, came key changes, such as certain lots

that are now exclusively for the use of students during

the academic year.

Bouillon also commented on the parking allotted to stu-

dents only saying, Of those that were successful in the

lottery for on-campus parking, almost a quarter did not

come in to pick up their permit. We will be surveying

those who did not pick up their permit, which should

provide some insight into why students opted out of

campus parking.

Bouillon also suggested the use of carpooling and buses

to cut the cost of parking and get rid of the chance of

parking tickets.

Although the concern of parking when it comes to stu-

dents is valid, there are ways students can cope with it.

The use of Foot Patrol can be used to walk to the Market

Centre parkade if one feels unsafe in doing so, and anysafety concerns can be discussed with the Special Con-

stables. The future of student parking in Brantfords

downtown is hopeful.

Censner feels the same way, I can already see a change

as Laurier is making more parking available for students.

If there are more spots available, it will make it less

stressful for students who are commuting and are trying

to get to class on time. So as long as they keep expanding

the parking, it should make it easier for students who are

driving to school. To the students shuffling from park-

ing spot to parking spot, make your voices heard by

complaining to the school, and help solve the problem.

Musical chairs was fun in grade school, but its not fun

to play with cars and tickets.

by Melissa McGuffinTwitter: @Sputnik_News

L ightingBl indsWal lpaperDraperyPaint

405 St. Paul Avenue, Brantford.

A Voice for the Students of Laurier Brantford

7/28/2019 The Brant Advocate, Issue 17, January 2013

6/12

January 2013www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocatePage 6

Confessions of a Knocked up Jesus GeekTo start with, you all must know that I am a Jesus geek -

Christian, if you prefer, but rather obsessed with God,

Jesus, church, and all that goes with it. Normally this is all

fine and dandy, but when I found out I was pregnant about

six months ago, it really complicated my situation.

As most of you know, unmarried Christians arent sup-

posed to get pregnant, because theyre not supposed to be

getting into situations in which they could get pregnant.

Having grown up in the church community, I couldnt ex-

actly claim that I missed the memo. I knew.

Even if I werent a Jesus geek, my pregnancy would on

most counts be considered inconvenient. As urine tests,

blood work, and ultrasounds confirmed that I was, in fact,

all knocked up, I watched my plans for the next few years

quickly become unrealistic. Paying off my school debt

within a year, doing ministry training in Thailand, going

on a road trip through South America, having a secure re-

lationship before starting a family, having a stable home,

all of it dissolved.

Then came the fear.

How would I be able to emotionally and financially survive

as a single mom, even with the support of my ex-

boyfriend? How could I tell my family this news that could

break their hearts? What would this mean for the leadership

roles I was holding in numerous Christian organizations?

What kind of repercussions was I going to face from my

church? Could I still be me, even if the world would know

I hadnt lived up to the standards set in place by my faith?

Despite my pro-life stance, I definitely considered abor-

tion. I know Christian girls who have gone that route be-

cause of similar fears, even though in other circumstances

they would have gladly continued their pregnancies. Ab-

sorbing all the consequences in secret, they considered that

a better option than becoming shamed outcasts of their

family and church communities. Dealing with extramarital

pregnancies is something the church in general is still

working on.

For me, in the moment I caught myself saying goodnight

to the little person with whom I was sharing my body, I re-

alized that this was actually happening and that I wanted

to face motherhood, even if all of my fears could turn out

to be warranted. It took awhile to sort through things in-

ternally and deal with technical details before I was even

ready to tell my family.

I was shocked at what Ifelt next, anger andgratitude all mixed

together. I was completelylivid at numerous differentpeople in my life for notunderstanding, for not

being there for me, or forhaving different reactionsthan I had envisioned.

So, with extremely mixed feelings about my Dutch fam-

ilys reactions, I gave them the truth. And then I gave more

family the truth. And then I told my church, friends, and

others who had the right to know. Conversations that in

other cases would have been full of celebration were pre-

sented with sadness and accepted with surprise. After com-

pleting the most awkward conversations of my life, I was

shocked at what I felt next, anger and gratitude all mixed

together. I was completely livid at numerous different peo-

ple in my life for not understanding, for not being there for

me, or for having different reactions than I had envisioned.

At the same time, I was embraced with acceptance, love,

forgiveness, and generosity from nearly everyone I told

eventually. Then came the consequences. Having the obli-

gation to work as many hours as possible in order to qualify

for employment insurance, meant that I no longer had a

life. Combined with my incessant need to sleep and eat, I

really didnt have time to spend with friends and family,

meaning that a number of my relationships started to be-

come more and more distant, just as I had feared they

would.

There was a stretch of a few weeks when my life involved

little other than biking to and from my two jobs and catch-

ing as many consecutive hours of sleep as I could on my

bedroom floor, since my creaky loft bed was too hot in the

summer, as well as too far from the washroom now that

my visits there had increased. While working literally any

hour of the day, and sometimes for 24 hours or more on

end amidst a battle against pregnancy exhaustion, I fought

hard to come to terms with my new reality and all that I

was facing. Some of the consequences of my pregnancy

were awful. Knowing how badly I had hurt my family

made it difficult to picture a happy future. Plus, the trust I

had broken at my church meant that some of my roles were

discontinued. The worst was losing the right to keep run-

ning and attending the young womens support group I had

founded and run for the last year. My heart was broken.

When I began blogging about my story, I received some of

the greatest encouragement ever. Comments and messages

filled with hope, greatly strengthened the conviction I had

embraced to see God do great things through my story, in

my life, and for my child. People who I hardly knew took

the time to share beautiful words with me, including per-

sonal stories, advice, and even offers of baby items, a car,

money, and places to live. Never in my life had I ever felt

such community.

As more challenges arose, including the loss of one of my

jobs and gradually decreasing mobility, my faith in a for-

giving God and the love of these people made me feel

stronger than ever before. Frustration still had a place in

my life, but the idea that my life would still be awesome

took a deep root.

One magical day when I felt my baby move for the first

time, I started to fall in love with my child. Talking to him,

dancing with him, washing and folding his tiny little

clothes, is all rather incredible. I wonder if this is the def-

inition of intimacy?

Pregnancy itself has all sorts of quirks and oddities, but I

find them rather fun most of the time. So what if it has led

me to throw up in dozens of strange places, caused me to

pee myself upon coughing too much, and limited the kinds

of food I can eat? I dont even mind that sometimes when

I stand up, my legs are asleep and I have to waddle while

crouched for the first few seconds. All the aches in my ribs

are worth the sight of tiny feet pushing out from inside my

belly.

As I write this, Ive got about a month (give or take) of

being pregnant left. Then Ill get to meet the tiny person

who has already changed my life forever. Im going to love

the crap out of my little boy, and, even though life already

has no resemblance to the idealistic plans I had laid out,

its fine. I even choose to believe that itll be wonderful.

Yup, this chick is pregnant as can be, busting at the seams

with evidence of fertility. Sometimes life brings surprises

that take a lot of patience to endure, but man, will they ever

enrich our stories in the end! Oh, life is a jolly time.

The Vulnerable SelfA writer that has had a profound influence on my life isHenri Nouwen. Nouwen was a Roman Catholic priest

who had a successful career teaching at Notre Dame,Yale and finally Harvard. Nouwen would leave Harvard

to become the pastor of a LArche community in Rich-mond Hill called Daybreak. LArche is an international

network of communities founded by Jean Vanier where

people with developmental disabilities live in a com-munity with their assistants. Arriving at Daybreak,

Nouwen was welcomed into one of the LArche homesand was asked to help Adam Arnett, a severely disabled

man, with his morning routine. The time spent at

LArche and his relationship with Adam would have aprofound effect on Nouwen and his writings. One of my

perennial reads is his book, In the Name of Jesus: Re-flections on Christian Leadership. I picked up the book

the other day and began to look over all my scribbles

and highlighter marks, I paused on page 17, whereNouwen writes: I am deeply convinced that the Chris-

tian leader of the future is called to be completely irrel-evant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer

but his or her own vulnerable self.

I was struck by this statement, especially in an agewhere the church is seen as irrelevant, and where church

leaders are continually trying to re-engage society in

meaningful and relevant ways.

Nouwens comment is prefaced by the insight that whenhe came to LArche the communities welcome had ab-

solutely nothing to do with his past achievements and

skills. He writes,

These broken, wounded, and completely unpretentiouspeople forced me to let go of my relevant self the self

that can do things, show things, prove things, build

things and forced me to reclaim that unadorned selfin which I am completely vulnerable, open to receive

and give love regardless of my accomplishments. Thetruth is that in our current context, many of our relation-

ships are based on the benefit or value the other bringsto us. In other words, what does that person have that

can be of use to me? If a person is of no worth to us weare reluctant to enter into a relationship with them. Or

if a relationship no longer yields what we need, we

move on to one that does. At LArche Nouwen foundhimself in an unsettling place in that the relationships

being formed were not based on his perceived worth.He was simply accepted for his own sake. In turn,

Nouwen was called to accept those he lived with, many

of which had limited competencies and provided no im-mediate benefit, in the same way. I believe Nouwens

statement that leaders are called to be irrelevant is a pleafor the Church and its leadership (a plea I would like to

extend to non-Church members) to stand in solidarity

with the poor, or those who lack what our society val-ues. As leaders inside and outside the church, by enter-

ing into relationships not built on our skill sets or ac-complishments, the currency by which we sell ourselvesto the other, we allow our vulnerable selves to show. In

doing this, we invite others who may not have the sameabilities or accolades into a vulnerable communion

where one is appreciated simply for who they are, not

bound to societal assessments of worth.

I believe that the vulnerability which Nouwen is calling

us to is an important ingredient for those who wish tocreate safe, welcoming and inclusive spaces where true

connections and relationships can flourish; which arenot reliant upon peoples capabilities, income bracket,

skill set, accomplishments etcetera. In turn, when all

these adornments are stripped away the humanity of ourfellow human beings are made visible to us, enabling

us to welcome one another as brothers and sisters, acommon people.

by Rev. Jon MassimiTwitter: @RevMass

by Becca VandekempTwitter: @BeccaVDK

The Eliminate ProjectA PREVENTABLE TRAGEDY

In Sierra Leone, 19-year-old Memunata gives birth to a

healthy baby girl. But this joyous event has taken place

on the floor of her home. And Memunatas childbirthhas been assisted by a traditional but unskilled birth at-

tendant. In fact, Memunata herself hasnt been fully im-munized against tetanus. The umbilical cord is cut with

an unclean blade. Deadly tetanus spores,

found in soil everywhere, infect the cord. Within days,

tetanus has spread throughout the babys body, causing

muscle rigidity, leading to locked jaw, arched spine,convulsions and difficult breathing. The slightest sound,

light, or touch triggers painful spasmsrobbing Memu-nata of the chance to provide even the comfort of a

mothers embrace. After a few days, the baby dies.

Memunata is helpless. All she can do is watch. In recent

years, Kiwanis International and UNICEF joined forcesto tackle iodine deficiency disorders, achieving one of

the most significant public health successes of the 20th

Century. Now, they are aiming to eliminate MNT, ma-ternal and neonatal tetanus from the face of the earth.

And in doing so, the project will reach the poorest, mostneglected mothers and babies with additional lifesaving

health care. The end of this one disease means the be-

ginning of better health for so many families.

The disease strikes the poorest of the poor, the geo-

graphically hard to reach, and those without healthcare.Every nine minutes, a baby dies from tetanus. That short

lifetime is marked by pain - with an extreme sensitivityto light, sound or contact that prevents even a mothers

touch. Its effects are excruciating tiny newborns suf-

fer repeated painful convulsions. More than 100 million

women and their future babies must be protected. Thiswill cost roughly 240 million US dollars. Already, mil-

lions have been committed. But a funding gap remains.

Their Global Campaign for Children will raise 110 mil-lion dollars by 2015 - filling that gap and making Ki-

wanis the worlds largest single donor to the eliminationof maternal and neonatal tetanus.

It is unacceptable that innocent newborns and theirmothers suffer and die from MNT when it can be pre-

vented so easily. This is also an amazing opportunity to

reach the poorest, most neglected mothers and babieswith life saving health care. Developing delivery sys-

tems for MNT vaccines will blaze a trail to provide ad-ditional, desperately needed services to these

marginalized families. MNT is highly preventable. Just

three doses of a 60-cent immunization protects mothers,

who then pass on the immunity to their future babies.Together, Kiwanis and UNICEF can stop this disease.

As Kiwanis members we have always believed we canchange the world one child and one community at a

time, said Sheila Moore, President of the Kiwanis Clubof Paris - Brant. Thats why were proud to work with

UNICEF Canada, knowing that the simple act of buying

tetanus vaccines will not only save a childs life, butprotect future generations. Kiwanis clubs around the

globe, and within our own communities, will continue

to hold fundraisers for this cause so we dearly hopemembers of the public will keep an eye out for these

events, and lend us their support.

by Sheila Moore

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January 2013 www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocate Page 7

An Open Doorby Ryan Van Dijkemail: worship.arts@counterpointchurch.ca

For seven years I have had the honour and privilege of playing the bellsfor Grace Anglican Church in downtown Brantford. I often stop to think

about how many people look up with wonder at the gothic tower nestledin the heart of the city.

When you walk in, you feel as though you are transported back three hun-

dred years. At the top of a winding spiral staircase is a gallery overlookingthe city where the bells are played. Twenty-five feet up above the galleryis another chamber, which houses ten bells tuned chromatically from C

to E, each inscribed with scripture. Above that chamber lies the roof ofthe tower, and the most spectacular view of the city one could ever hopeto find.

Seven years ago, living across the street from the tower, I noticed the doorhad been left open. I had always been curious. Seizing the moment I in-stantly ran across the street, ascended the tower and, upon finding it

empty, began to play around with this ancient and beautiful instrument.Since then I have played them for the church, for weddings, on holidays

and even for the birthdays of neighborhood children. I would also like togive a soft apology to those in the area sleeping New Years Eve.

Yet I also play them weekly simply because some part of me feels abounden duty to shower the city with music because I believe there are

still people out there who love to hear them. People who need to hearthem because somehow it just makes life better if the bells are still ringing.

Since walking through the door of the tower that day I have discovered a

unique love for the tradition of bell ringing. Although I'm not Anglican,nor would even call myself a Christian, I was welcomed into the commu-nity. Shortly after I joined the choir at Grace, at first as a way of receiving

free music lessons. However, I found much more there. The choir grantedme a way of adding the study of music to the r egular rhythm of my life.I have played guitar, piano and sang since I was fourteen in some capacity,but choir opened up a whole new understanding of the depth, beauty and

the magic of music. Now, two years later, I find myself on staff as musicaldirector for Counterpoint Church, also operating out of Grace.

The bells are a terrible instrument when you are first learning because athird of the city can hear each and every one of your mistakes. Havingonly ten bells, with no sharps or flats also forces one to be inventive whenwriting and arranging music for the tower; imposed restrictions that are

both a blessing and a curse. They sound beautiful, yet if you were in thesame room when theyre playing, you would be deafened. Behind theirsweet melodies lies a dissonant drone as each tone is laid down upon an-

other and rubs against the last. Its a reminder for me of the delicate bal-ance between dissonance and harmony that makes our lives interestingand beautiful both in our joy and our darkness. This tower has become acharacter in my life. I try to take care of it, archive its music and history,

give it new music and share its history with others. Its always there,looming over my house, the largest and loudest instrument in the city.

Somehow finding the door to the tower open that day, and taking on the

duties of the bell ringer, has revealed a path and purpose in my life that

was absent before. It was not a hard role to fall into, and its romantic allure

has never been difficult to embrace. To have a platform with purpose to

make music, alone and with others every week of my life is amazing to

reflect upon and a sure sign, among so much more, of a blessed life.

Somehow finding the doorto the tower open that day,

and taking on the duties of thebell ringer, has revealed a path

and purpose in my life thatwas absent before.

Photos courtesy of Paul Smith, Photohouse Studio / www.photohouse.ca

7/28/2019 The Brant Advocate, Issue 17, January 2013

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January 2013www.brantadvocate.com Facebook: The Brant Advocate Twitter: @BrantAdvocatePage 8

FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS

WE WISH YOU A SAFE AND PROSPEROUS 2013www.alfordandassociates.ca / 254 Brant Ave / 519.751.0901

Everyone has a SongMusic changes mood and mood changes perceptions.With changed perceptions and altered perspectives, the

experiences that life presents can be seen as a celebra-tion of what it means to live life.

Four years ago, Daniel Boskovic would not have be-lieved you if you had told him that moving himself and

his family to Brantford would put him on the path that

he is on today. In a million years, he would not havethought he would have learned to play the flute, learn

to handcraft flutes, and perform in front of live audi-ences. This is the story of how the flute has become an

integral part of Daniels life.

It began one spring day in 2011 when Daniel was visit-

ing Oscar De Los Santos, a South American MedicineMan, sound healer and artist. That day would open the

doors to undiscovered skies; skies through which Daniel

would soar.

Oscar had been working on one of his various projects

and he invited Daniel into his workshop to show himhis latest creation: a Native American Flute (NAF). The

NAF was in the process of being completed and Oscarexplained to Daniel how he went about crafting this in-

strument, but more importantly, the magic of it. In-

trigued, though quiet, Daniel listened attentively. Thesewords spoke to Daniels spirit and, less than two weeks

later, Daniel had acquired a quena the traditional flute

of the Andes. It was not long before Daniel learned howto make his quena sing. Daniel was a natural; he learned

to make music with his quena so quickly, that onewould think that he had been playing for years.

By mid-summer of that same year, Daniel, with Oscarsencouragement and support, had handcrafted his first

flute: the Anasazi a pre-historic flute dating back to670 AD. From this point on, Daniel began creating his

own flutes; crafting them out of wood, decorating them,

and digitally tuning them to various scales.

To say that the flute has changed his life is an under-statement.

For Daniel, learning to play the flute gave him the op-portunity to express himself through the precious gift

of breath. Having done a lot of self-healing work,Daniel had emptied himself enough to allow the flute

to speak to him. Playing the flute helped him remove

the barriers that kept him from expressing his deepestsorrows and allowed him to rediscover the celebration

of his true, essential self.

Daniel describes playing the flute as being like medi-

cine. The flute puts the player in a highly meditativestate and creates the space for spiritual connection. The

flute captures the essence of our being and then throughmusical expression, releases it so that we may revel in

its mystery. It is an enchanting experience that brings

the player into the space where the spirit can take overand sing its song to the world. Because music is able to

transcend all language barriers, it is truly the language

of the soul.

The flute is lifeless without the breath, your breath; andonce you breathe into it, you also breathe your spirit into

life. The spirit is a witness to all the experiences in a

persons life, and the flute is an avenue by which thespirit can tell this story. Everyone has a song, Daniel

says, and this song can be expressed with the flute.

Today, Daniel plays flute daily and is currently in the

process of mastering the kaval a chromatic end-blownflute, traditionally played throughout the Balkans andAnatolia. Daniel has played at outdoor venues already,

and this past summer just over a year after havinglearned to play he was invited to perform with Tribal

Thunder at the Georgetown Big Daddy Festival.

Daniel handcrafts flutes out of bamboo, cedar and

cherry wood. Although Daniel consistently uses fivescales to tune his flutes, he is always looking for new

scales that will capture his heart. Some of the scales

Daniel has used to breathe life into his flutes include: Amajor, E major, Arabian, Anasazi B flat, and the Anita

Sazi, a smaller version of the Anasazi in the scale of C.

In addition to handcrafting flutes for his own enjoy-

ment, Daniel custom makes flutes for anyone who is in-terested in having a piece of magic in their life. Daniel

is always eager to share his music and is elated when

he can reveal the medicine of this captivating musicalinstrument.

Whats next for Daniel? It is yet to be determined, but

this witness eagerly waits for what is about to unfold.

A new scale? A new style of flute? More live perform-ances? Recording? Workshops? Teaching? Whatever it

is, it is guaranteed to be spellbinding, and to be so bythe grace of that spiritual essence that has expressed it-

self through the magic of the flute.

Parenting Plain & SimpleThe job is parenting. Someone has to do it.

The people that created the small being are the ones

originally blessed with that responsibility. They have a

choice to take on the responsibility, or not.

Sometimes those people choose to pass that responsi-bility to someone else that would be better suited for the

job this decision is one that is not easy, and deserves

a lot of respect.

Sometimes people choose not to have children, andNOT to parent also not always an easy decision, and

one that deserves to be r espected.

Sometimes people desperately want to be parents, and

just cant their choices are to live witho ut children,keep trying for their own, adopt, or just be surrogate

parents to family and friends children. This is a most

difficult situation to be in and deserves to be respectedand supported, not questioned and judged.

Once a parent makes a choice, either way, they need to

step up to the plate, and do the job.

In order to thrive, a person needs health, shelter, food

and love. Children need this in higher doses than adults,and they depend on the adults in their world to get it.

I admit to being a busy parent: meals, work, jobs, threeactivities per child per season, leisure time, reading,

homework, maintaining a house and home, providingskates, bicycles, rollerblades, etc., seasonally appropri-

ate clothing, and time.

I admit to missing out on many precious moments