The Creation MythThat is, quite honestly, more exciting than the stuff you

read yesterday

In the beginning…

Only Chaos (void, nothingness)From the void (Chaos) came Erebus

(dwelling place of death) and Night; all was empty, silent, dark

And then…

Out of nowhere….LOVE was born and of course, bought order (hmm…)

Love bore Light and Day (Regular…huh?)

What?

Now Gaea appears

Not to be confused…

Erebus and Night slept together and gave birth to Ether (heavenly light) and Day (Earthly light)

What else would come from Night?

Night produced Doom, Fate, Death, Sleep, Dreams, Nemesis

And here we go…

Gaea gave birth (alone) to Uranus…oooookay

Uranus covered Gaea on all sides and they produced the three Cyclopes, the three Hecatoncheires, and the Twelve Titans (wow)

And so it starts….

The plot thickens…

Of course he was a bad husband (conflict drives plot remember)…he hated the Hecatoncheires and pushed them to hidden places in the Earth (which by the way is her womb!)

She becomes angry and tries to get the other kids to kill him with a flint sickle. Only Cronus, the youngest, wasn’t afraid to attack “Daddy”.

SMH…

While Gaea was laying with Uranus, Cronus comes in and castrates him and throws his genitals into the sea. (insert bland stare here)

What the What?

Uhm…he either died, went to Italy, or just withdrew. But he did tell them all, “You will be PUNISHED!!!)

His blood sprang forth as the Giants, Ash Tree Nymphs, and the Erinyes (furies). The sea foam and genitals made Aphrodite (insert another blank stare here)

Yes,insert more incest…sorry

So… Cronus is the new ruler with his sister/wife Rhea (and yet another blank stare)

Like dad, he hated the Cyclopes and the Hecatoncheires so he imprisoned them in Tatarus.

Told you so…

Well, both Gaea and Uranus prophesied that Cronus would be overthrown by a son. So he swallows all the kids (even the girls I guess to be on the safe side, who knows, I didn’t write this stuff)

“When a woman’s fed up…”

So now Rhea’s angryThe birth of the sixth child Rhea hid…it

was…

Oh Yeah!

Zeus! Stone, wrapped, swallowed…he was raised by nymphs in Crete.

Really? Too easy…

After speaking with Metis who gives Cronus a drink to make him vomit, Zeus returns to Mt. Olympus after Rhea’s prodding.

Ok, so he’s now the cup bearer and this is how he gets to give Cronus the drink…smh

Ain’t that sweet…

Since the gods/goddesses were vomited out unharmed, they made Zeus their leader! (AWWWW)

Where they go?

So…Atlas became leader of the Titans during battle with the gods. Prometheus, Epimetheus, and Oceanus were excluded from the side of the Titans.

Sooo predictable…

Oh no!!!! The gods are losing….no wait!!! Let’s go to Tatarus and… guess?

Again…so predictable

Cyclopes gave Zeus lightning bolts. Fight, fight, fight and…

The gods win!!!!

Bout ta mess up, Yo…

Zeus exiles the Titans except for Atlas whose punishment was…

EPIC FAIL!

But…Gaea still mad because the children were sent back. So she gave birth to her last child…

Typhoeus…made most of the gods flee. Zeus kills him with a lightning bolt. He’s buried under Mt. Etna in Sicily.