theEAGLEVOLUME 84 n ISSUE 33

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FEBRUARY 4, 2010

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SCENE page 5

Based on a book by Nicholas Sparks, romance fans will be

disappointed with ‘Dear John.’

LOVE LETTERS

FRIDAYHI 36° n LO 28°

TODAY’S WEATHER

HI 39°LO 36°

Sunny throughout the day.

WEDNESDAYHI 33° n LO 24°

NEWS

CAS professor is a ‘Global Guru’ in her recently launched

radio show

ON THE AIR

page 4

EDITORIAL

page 3

The debate over ACORN’s legitmacy rages on as Isaac Stone weighs in

WHO’S THE NUT?

SPORTS

page 8

Positive athletic exposure helps

AU’s public perception

POSITIVE PRESS

page 8

The debate over who will win

the big game this Sunday

PEYTON OR BREES?

SCENE

page 5

Nominees for Best Picture show tastes

are changing at the Oscars.

ACADEMY IS...

STRIKE A POSE — The glittering Athena Ducockis struts her stuff on the catwalk at the annual drag show that took place on Monday night in the University Club. The AU Student Government and Queers and Allies put on the show to raise money for Whitman-Walker Clinic.

AARON BERKOVICH / THE EAGLE

Drag queens storm MGC with style

By MITCH ELLMAUEREagle Contributing Writer

School of Public Aff airs sopho-more Sami Green is in the process of running for AU’s seat on the Advisory Neighborhood Commission 3D, a position which has remained vacant for seven years due to complications with District zoning laws.

Green petitioned to fi ll the ANC seat for Single Member District 07, which includes the South side resi-dence halls and all buildings west of New Mexico Avenue.

“It has been a trying and interest-ing process,” Green said.

Student Government President Andy MacCracken said that Green’s campaign has been fraught with dif-fi culties.

“It is very unfortunate that there have been a lot of structural challeng-

es [concerning Green’s campaign],” MacCracken said. “Th e seat hasn’t been fi lled in over half of a decade, which is unacceptable.”

ANC’s address local issues such as zoning, economic development, park-ing, police protection and sanitation, according to the D.C. government Web site.

AU recently released a new cam-pus plan, which calls for building resi-dence halls, offi ces and new academic buildings in the Nebraska Avenue Parking Lot. Th e campus plan must be approved by ANC 3D. However, the commissioners and AU’s neigh-bors are opposed to new construction, said Tom Smith, the commissioner for District 02.

“Some people don’t like the idea of having 1,000 students living in what is now the Nebraska Parking Lot,” Smith said.

Certain laws have been a major obstacle to fi lling the ANC seat, ac-cording to AU’s Community and Lo-cal Government Relations Director Penny Pagano.

Students who tried to fi ll the seat in the past were unable to collect enough signatures from AU students who were also D.C. residents in the appro-priate single member district, Pagano said.

Candidates for the position of commissioner must live in their single member district for at least 60 days prior to the election, and candidates must be registered voters in D.C., ac-cording to the D.C. government’s Web site.

In addition, voters who sign the petition to name a commissioner and who vote for that commissioner must also be registered to the District,

Student struggles to fi ll long-vacant ANC seat

Senator, prez reach CERF dealBy ALLIE MOONEYEagle Contributing Writer

Student Government President

Andy MacCracken and Class of 2010 Senator Steve Dalton reached a compromise over recent legisla-tion regarding the Clean Energy Revolving Fund, Th e Eagle learned Wednesday night.

Th e new bill, to be debated Sun-day, would ban the use of student activities fees to fund the program. However, fundraising done by the SG would be permitted for use. Stu-dents would also be able to indicate that they wanted to donate money to the fund.

MacCracken said he would not veto the new bill, which will be brought before the Undergraduate Senate on Sunday, he said in an in-terview with Th e Eagle.

“Th ere’s really no specifi c rea-son for writing a new bill other than to ... re-establish support from the Senate’s perspective and estab-lish set policies in how it’s funded through the Student Government,” he said.

Th is comes on the heels of a leg-islative tug-of-war between some members of the Senate and Mac-Cracken over how CERF will be funded.

CERF is a new program under the umbrella of the administration, in the offi ce of the Vice President of Finance and Treasurer. Contribu-tions to the fund would go towards renewable energy generators in an eff ort to help make AU carbon

neutral. Th e fund is “revolving” in the sense that money saved from the university producing its own energy would then be used to fund other renewable energy projects.

The legislation

MacCracken vetoed the last bill

regarding the CERF on Saturday. Despite opposition of the veto

in the Senate, the measure was al-lowed to stand since it did not garner the necessary two-thirds of votes needed to override the veto.

Th e vetoed bill, which was passed in the Senate Jan. 26, im-posed stricter defi nitions of wheth-er SG could contribute funds from student activity fees into CERF.

MacCracken vetoed the bill be-cause SG should be able to contrib-ute to CERF, he said.

“[CERF] is an idea that pro-motes an industry that is blooming within the United States, and we’re able to become a leader in that fi eld,” MacCracken said. “I feel that there would be benefi t to the cam-pus community in general.”

MacCracken said he thought the Senate had rushed through the passing of the bill and called for fresh start for the legislation.

“We haven’t spent time to an-swer questions or even ask the right questions,” he said. “I believe we should take the proper steps and make sure every word in there says what we want it to.”

As a result, a new bill has been draft ed and will be presented to the

Senate this Sunday, according to Dalton.

Some senators thought the Jan. 26 bill, authored by Dalton, was un-clear in whether SG had the ability to transfer funds if the body decides to support CERF through running fundraisers. Th ere were worries that the bill would have prevented any money from transferring from the SG to the fund, even if the mon-ey was specifi cally raised for CERF. Th e vetoed legislation’s main pur-pose was to articulate exactly where the CERF money would originate.

“No money can be transferred by any member of the Student Gov-ernment from any Student Govern-ment account to the Clean Energy Revolving Fund,” the bill stated.

Th is bill sought to close a fi nan-cial loophole in the system where extra money in the SG budget at the end of the year could potentially be transferred to CERF.

“Th ere is this loophole that I want to close,” Dalton said. “By not calling it [transferred funds to CERF] a donation or whatever at the end of the semester, at the end of the year you could essentially get away with it. I don’t think we should be getting away with anything. If it’s not allowable during the whole year, it shouldn’t be able to get away with it at the end of the year.”

Th e new legislation will allow SG to temporarily hold funds for CERF aft er fundraising, and then transfer the money into the CERF account.

n see CERF on page 2

By MEG FOWLEREagle Staff Writer

During the weeks following winter break when the AUTO pro-gram was shut down, Community Service Center operations were forced to adjust to accommodate for their loss of the usual mode of transportation.

DC Reads lost tutors who could not fi nd ways to travel to their sites, and this year’s annual Martin Lu-ther King Jr. Day of Service spent an extra $2,000 on transportation in the absence of AUTO.

DC Reads involves 300 students who travel to six diff erent sites in the District, largely in Columbia Heights and Anacostia, according to Robin Adams, assistant director

of the Community Service Center and coordinator of DC Reads.

Usually, 30 DC Reads tutors are transported per day, Adams said, but with just one Commu-nity Service Center-owned van, a maximum of 12 students can be transported at a time, Adams said. Instead, DC Reads groups traveled to sites using the Metro and city buses.

Madison Pollock, a sophomore in the School of International Ser-vice and a volunteer at the Com-munity of Hope site in Columbia Heights, said she formerly used the Community Service Center van free of charge to transport 20 other volunteers to a volunteer site. While AUTO was offl ine, other sites had to use the Community Service van

and Pollock had to substitute city buses for the van.

“[Th e bus] is not free ... Besides the fi nancial aspect, it is really in-convenient and unreliable,” Pol-lock said in an e-mail. “Th e bus has been making us late most days to our site.”

Th e necessity to use public transportation made traveling to the volunteer sites more challeng-ing for students in all the programs, Adams said.

“Most of our students in our pro-gram are freshmen who are new to the city and have a busy academic and social calendar,” she said.

During the weeks aft er winter break, DC Reads lost fi ve members, according to Adams.

AUTO hiatus hinders service clubs’ transport

n see AUTO on page 2

By ASHLEY DEJEANEagle Staff Writer

Six drag queens from the D.C. area sit in a small room adjacent to the University Club, most of them shirtless with tights, busily pre-paring for the show that will take place in half an hour.

Queers and Allies along with AU Student Government put on the event in the University Club to raise money for the Whitman-Walker Clinic, the non-profi t that specializes in HIV care.

Although she usually does it herself, a friend glues on Athena Ducockis’ eyelashes for her debut performance as she explains the getting-ready process.

“Usually with eyebrows we get a glue stick and glue our eyebrows down and put powder over it,” Du-cockis, an AU alumna who par-ticipated in the yearly Drag Queen Race at Dupont Circle where the queens race in high-heels, said. “Th at way we can draw in our eye-brows later since girls have higher eyebrows than guys. Th en we put foundation on, a little pan stick and powder that in together- blending it all in to make sure it’s even.”

Next Ducockis moves to the blush.

“We go on to the blush just making sure that our face is con-toured to give more of an elegant, female look,” she said.

Akasha Cassadine, who per-formed in the group Diva League on “America’s Got Talent” in 2009 and appeared in an episode of “Th e Maury Povich Show” makes sure to blend her make-up for a smooth, sexy look.

“[You have to do a lot] of blend-ing to make sure you don’t have too many harsh lines, but enough lines to give you some defi nition and then making sure that everything is smooth and blended,” Cassadine said. “It’s not that easy tonight be-cause I left my contacts at home, so I can’t really see.”

Wearing her teddy-velvet-shade lipstick, Cassadine’s “diva” came through when asked about the process of getting dressed.

“Oh honey, that’s painful,” she said. “It’s hiding things, putting on a pair of spanks, putting my pads in. At least two pairs of tights: one darker, one lighter and then a complimentary of pantyhose to my actual skin tone. One girdle and all-in-one body suit for my breast forms to go into and them I’m ready — other than the lashes of course.”

Th e outfi t and makeup are not only the physical part of the trans-formation, though.

“Inner transformation is when you’re sitting around talking to the people around you,” Mercedes Cassadine, Akasha’s drag daughter said. “It helps get you in the mood to do the show.”

Mercedes then explains this ritual further.

“A weird thing about the drag community is sometimes before they get ready they’ll sit around and they almost seem like they’re insulting one another, but they’re not,” she said. “It’s called reading. It’s not insulting per se, but you just sit there, talk and make fun of each other.”

Aft er that, the queens perform.

n see DRAG SHOW on page 4

n see ANC on page 4

Juniors, seniors to be equal in housing lottery

By ETHAN KLAPPEREagle Staff Writer

Housing and Dining Programs will not diff erentiate between ris-ing juniors and seniors during this month’s housing lottery, according to the department’s Room Selection Guide, released Monday.

Chris Moody, executive director of Housing and Dining, said the deci-sion was made as a result of last year’s Brailsford & Dunlavey facilities study, which urged AU to “rethink campus housing priorities.”

“Shift ing priorities to fi rst-year stu-dents would put us in a place where rising juniors were next,” Moody

said. “Rather than completely alien-ating the senior class, which is what happened at the University of Mary-land-College Park, we didn’t feel like [fl ipping the priorities] based on our numbers.”

UMD’s housing allocation process gives highest priority to the youngest students and explicitly does not guar-antee four years of on-campus hous-ing, according to the UMD Depart-ment of Residence Life Web site.

Currently, 84 percent of seniors live off -campus, Moody said.

Courtney Klamar, the president of the Residence Hall Association, said

n see HOUSING on page 4

theEAGLE 2newsFEBRUARY 4, 2010

Megabytes CaféNow Introducing….!!

Falafel sandwich

Comes With:

Tzatziki Sauce, Onion, Tomato, Parsley

Next to Chevy Chase Bank (In the Tunnel)

THE QUICK TAKE

For the fi rst time in a long time, Th e Eagle did something everyone seemed to like. Our top headline for the Feb. 1 issue “Frat faces IFC alle-gations” struck a chord with the AU community, propelling our online readership to heights not seen since the Handverger impeachment trial of ‘09. Not only that, but by 3 p.m. Monday all copies of Th e Eagle were gone from the Mary Graydon Cen-ter, forcing Eagle staff ers to refi ll the stands with papers from less visited areas. Reports have it that the library ran out sometime Tuesday. Th e fra-ternity story was so popular that it beat out both Eagle Rants and Alex Knepper’s latest column for most-read story, garnering nearly 800 unique views in only two days. Rants trailed with 426 views and Knepper rounded out the top three with ap-proximately 400 unique views.

So just to review here, a story about a fraternity possibly facing sanctions for vulgar T-shirts was about three times as popular as a story about a possible mustard gas cache on AU property (“Unearthed

jugs might point to larger arms cache” - 234 unique views) and about eight times as popular as a story about the tragic consequences of the earth-quake in Haiti on a School of Public Aff airs program (“SPA program in Haiti suff ers serious loss” - 67 unique views). Just sayin.’

In less self-congratulatory news, Both Mayor Adrian Fenty and D.C. School’s Chancellor Michelle Rhee have seen their approval rat-ings plummet in the last few years. Forty-nine percent of D.C. residents now disapprove of the mayor, up from 21 percent two years ago. Rhee enjoyed a 59 percent approval rat-ing two years ago. Th at number has now slipped to 43 percent. Curiously, District residents are happier than they have been in the last 20 years with city services and public schools. Over half say the city is heading in the “right direction.” D.C. Council member and former campaign chair-man for Fenty’s campaign may have put it best, albeit a bit Stalinisticly - “You’ve got to break eggs to make an omelet.”

Ok, so back to Eagle news. We are hoping to roll out some new, im-proved, revamped and visually ap-pealing blogs. For those in the know, think the Georgetown Voice’s “Vox Populi” blog or Th e Hoya’s “Saxa-

speaks.” We’re in the process of re-cruiting writers who would like to take a more, ahem, alternative view on events on campus. If you think you have a good grasp on news at AU e-mail news@theeagleonline.com or sparnass@theeagleonline.com. Lik-ing Th e Eagle is most defi nitely NOT a prerequisite. In fact, we’d prefer it if you didn’t.

What have you done for me lately?

Well ... nothing it seems. Not one group e-mailed Th e Eagle with things that they have done in the last few weeks. So, AU students, rest assured that all that money you are forced to contribute to the AU Club Council and Student Activities is being wast-ed on intra-club pizza parties. Th is means two things: One, you should demand your money back and two, you should join a club so you can get some free pizza. I think Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, D-Fla., was here yesterday for College Dems, but no one told us so we’re going to as-sume it never happened.

For those wondering, the quick take gets around 100 to 150 unique views each Th ursday.

-CHARLIE SZOLD

Jan. 27Th ree students reported their iP-ods were taken from handbags in the Katzen Arts Center’s recital hall during a rehearsal. Th e hand-bags were all left in the same gen-eral area.

An unattended wallet was taken in Mary Graydon Center. Fraudulent charges may have been made.

Jan. 28Th e Department of Public Safety executed a search warrant in an Anderson Hall dorm room. Th e resident was arrested for posses-sion of drug paraphernalia.

Th e D.C. Fire Department re-sponded and released a student from a stuck elevator in Letts Hall. No injuries were reported.

Jan. 29Emergency Medical Services transported a sick student to Sib-ley Hospital.

DCFD transported a sick student to Sibley Hospital.

An unattended cell phone was taken from a table in the Terrace Dining Room while the victim went to get food.

DCFD and DPS responded to a report of an unconscious, intoxi-cated individual in Federal Hall on Tenley Campus. DCFD trans-ported her to Sibley Hospital.

Jan. 30A fi re extinguisher was discharged in the fourth fl oor hallway of Anderson. Th e extinguisher was located in a trash can in a fourth fl oor laundry room. Aramark re-sponded to clean the area.

Jan. 31DPS observed a student board an AU shuttle bus with alcohol. His information was documented and the beer was discarded. He was sent on his way. Student conduct charges will be fi led.

At about 3 a.m., DPS heard a loud crowd in the area of the Tun-nel shops and observed a fi ght in progress. Numerous DPS and approximately 15 MPD offi cers responded to assist with crowd control. Th e crowd size was esti-mated at approximately 50 people. Students were treated at the scene and refused further medical atten-tion. DCFD, MPD and DPS left the scene at approximately 4:30 a.m. Student conduct charges will

be fi led.

Th e reporting person indicated she was driving through the Tunnel shop area around 4 a.m. During a commotion she saw an unidenti-fi ed male throw an unknown ob-ject at her vehicle. She discovered several scratches along the rear passenger side quarter panel and along the rear wheel’s fender.

DPS responded to a fi re alarm reported on the fi rst fl oor at the Mary Graydon Center. No smoke or fi re was located. Th e alarm was reset.

Feb. 1A shuttle bus driver reported his bus being struck as he approached a stop sign at the north tunnel entrance. Th e striking vehicle fl ed the scene. Th e bus sustained a six- to eight-inch scrape on the center left panel. No injuries were reported.

Feb. 2Facilities Management and con-tractors were sawing pipes in Roper Hall’s basement mechani-cal room. Th is caused a smoke de-tector to activate a fi re alarm. Th e building was evacuated. All fl oors were checked. Facilities Manage-ment disabled the alarms.

POLICE BLOTTERNews that you could have found

somewhere else condensed into paragraph form and stripped of all its importance.

THU 27Author Event: Douglas Rogers7 p.m.WHERE: Politics and Prose, 5015 Connecticut Ave. N.W.METRO: L1 or L2 bus from Van Ness (red line)INFO: Rogers, author of “Th e Last Resort: A Memoir of Zimbabwe” discusses his birthplace and life un-der the Mugabe regime.COST: FreeCONTACT: For more information, call 202-364-1919.

THURS 4 SAT 6Learn to cook a romantic dinner for your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day11 a.m. - 1 p.m.WHERE: DC Coast, 1401 K St. N.W.METRO: McPherson Square (orange and blue lines)INFO: Executive chef Brendan Cox and executive pastry chef J.J. Min-etola will teach guys how to cook a romantic meal for Valentine’s Day. Guys only.COST: $75CONTACT: E-mail jillian@passion-foodhospitality.com to make a res-ervation.

Indulge in Dessert at the Chocolate Lovers’ Festival12 p.m. - 4 p.m.WHERE: George Mason University, 4400 University Drive, Fairfax, Va.METRO: Old Town Fairfax, Main Street and University Drive, Fairfax, Va. INFO: Indulge in chocolate from multiple vendors, and partake in the Chocolate Challenge, the Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast, a craft show and open houses at historical buildings.COST: FreeCONTACT: For more information, call 703-385-1661.

Polar Obsessions10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

WHERE: National Geographic Mu-seum, 1145 17th St. N.W.METRO: Farragut North (red line)INFO: Photographer Paul Nicklen’s photos of the Arctic and Antarctica depict polar bears, penguins and seals.COST: FreeCONTACT: For more information, call 202-857-7588.

Black History Month at Mount Vernon9 a.m. - 4 p.m.WHERE: 3200 Mount Vernon Me-morial Hwy. Alexandria, Va.METRO: King Street (yellow and blue lines)INFO: Th e fi rst president’s estate cel-ebrates Black History Month with a ceremony and portrayals of slave life.COST: $15CONTACT: For more information, call 703-780-2000.

Iranian Film Festival7 p.m.WHERE: Freer Gallery of Art, Jeff er-son Drive and 12th St. N.W.METRO: Smithsonian (yellow and blue lines)INFO: Th is annual festival showcases new Iranian fi lms. Tickets can be picked up one hour before show time.COST: FreeCONTACT: For more information, call 202-633-1000.

FRI 5 SUN 7 TUES 9MON 8

“[This] is significant because that’s five children who no lon-ger have someone providing one-on-one attention to them, and that’s five children who we have to figure out what to do with in terms of still getting the services,” Adams said.

The AUTO program started offering the use of four vans, available during office hours this Monday; usually there are nine vans available for use. The Student Government suspend-ed the program at the end of last semester to help improve service and repair the vans, The Eagle previously reported.

The Community Service Center’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service happened to fall during AUTO’s previous brief time out of commission.

As a result, the AU Commu-nity Service Center had to fac-tor an extra $2,000 in its budget for the event. This money could have gone toward supplies and food, according to Donald Curtis, the operations coordi-nator of the Community Ser-vice Center who was in charge of the Day of Service.

“We could have done a lot of things differently,” Curtis said. “We could have put more mon-ey into equipment for sites; we could have put more money to food for sites.”

For the day of service, a group of over 210 participants, including AU staff and AU President Neil Kerwin, traveled to five sites throughout the city, including one site on Minneso-ta Avenue in Southeast D.C.

Curtis said he believes the

Community Service Center did a good job of working around the transportation issues.

“It’s just expensive without AUTO ... It makes us have to focus a little more on how [to] get people from place to place,” Curtis said.

The Community Service Center had only one van to ser-vice the five sites, so they hired a bus company to make up for the rest of transportation needs, Curtis said.

SG President Andy Mac-Cracken said the changes to AUTO should have been com-pleted over winter break. Mac-Cracken said he was sorry that the extended downtime of the AUTO program had negative ramifications for groups on campus.

AUTO was offline for an extended time because its vans had to go through mainte-nance, a process that was out of the SG’s control and a routine that has not been followed “for some time,” according to Mac-Cracken. The vehicles were dropped off over winter break, and some are still in the shop.

“In order to make the long-term changes that needed to be put in place, we [had] to scale back or completely shut down the program for some amount of time, [but] the length of time during which AUTO’s been down unfortunately has taken longer than we’d hoped,” Mac-Cracken said. “I do think that the long-term benefits of that have been substantial.”

You can reach this writer at mfowler@theeagleonline.com.

n from AUTO on page 1The debate

The Senate was torn between

support and opposition of the Jan. 26 bill, with one side claiming that CERF would impose “green fees” in the form of more bag taxes or otherwise, thus forcing a manda-tory charge on students. This ru-mor is false, according to Drew Veysey, the director of environ-mental policy for SG and one of the students involved in creating the CERF fund.

“The Clean Energy Revolving fund has nothing to do with man-datory fees,” Veysey said.

A large amount of the debate last Sunday was devoted to clear-ing up these rumors and calling for agreeable means for support-ing CERF.

Dalton, who also heads the Senate’s Budget Committee, said he thought allocating money to CERF was not proper, consider-ing student activity fee money would be the major source of funding.

“Everyone who votes on the budget knows we barely have enough money to fund all the SG departments and organizations that we currently have,” Dalton said. “CERF is not one of those, which means that it is outside the bounds of SG funding. I think we should play by the rules and we should do everything we can to

help CERF that is proper.”Veysey, who also spoke at the

Jan. 26 meeting, countered Dal-ton’s argument.

The Clean Energy Referendum of 2006 — a vote in which over 1,000 AU students participated to demonstrate AU’s concern with clean energy — was an example of the AU community’s desire for cleaner energy, Veysey said.

“Seventy-one percent of AU students voted to raise their own fees to pay for clean energy on campus,” he said. “The student activity fee is the students’ money, and if the students want clean en-ergy, why shouldn’t they be able to put their SG’s money towards clean energy on campus?”

Dalton said his bill would not kill CERF. Rather, it would change the way it will be funded.

“It doesn’t limit the SG’s abil-ity to fundraise for CERF,” he said. “It just says we shouldn’t make use of an inappropriate way to funnel funds. In fact, I’m sure that we could raise $5,000 for CERF by working with fundrais-ers, promotions.”

MacCracken defended his veto, saying that the original bill was too stringent in its financial constraints.

“I believe everyone supports the Clean Energy Revolving Fund,” he said. “But I do believe that this was passed in haste last week and didn’t get the proper second look to make sure that ev-

ery single line in here did what we want it to do. And unfortunately, if the Student Government does a bake sale tomorrow to support CERF we can’t move the proceeds over there if this bill passes.”

MacCracken said that SG could have a fundraiser for CERF under the present bill, as long as it acquires the funds before the money moves into CERF.

“It’s my understanding, based on what I was told by Student Ac-tivities, that we have to have that money first, and as I said, we are unable to transfer that money.”

The resulting situation would, according to Veysey, “cut CERF off from Student Government funding.”

Over 20 members of the public came in support of MacCracken’s veto on Sunday, all appealing that CERF receive the funding from SG.

President of EcoSense Jen-nifer Jones said she thinks the SG should find a way to provide funding for clean energy.

“Students want renewable en-ergy,” she said. “This is something that is important to students, and this bill would inhibit that. The bill prohibits potentially all fund-ing from Student Government, and that’s not a good thing. This isn’t about raising fees for stu-dents; it’s about leaving the door open for SG to support clean en-ergy on campus.”

Procedural issues Parliamentary procedure was also

a factor in MacCracken’s veto. Some senators said they were ill-prepared in voting for the original bill.

“We weren’t really doing our jobs as we should have,” said Megan Shea, a senator for the class of 2013. “We were in a hurry to just move on.”

Aft er facing a long list of bills on Jan. 26, some senators may have overlooked some of the more con-tentious stipulations of the bill, ac-cording to Brett Atanasio, senator for the class of 2013.

“[Th e Undergraduate Senate was] like ‘OK, we’ve already done a million pieces of legislation already today, we might as well just get this done,’” he said. “And so they missed those two lines on the second page that are the source of all the controversy that has erupted since.”

Th e Senate skipped the fi rst read-ing of the bill in order to speed the process of passing it.

“We waived fi rst reading and went right into voting, and I think that’s where a lot of the confusion has happened, because fi rst reading was meant to help everybody under-stand the bill,” Shea said.

Staff writer Tamar Hallerman contributed to this report.

You can reach this writer at news@theeagleonline.com.

n from CERF on page 1

Last meeting of 4th Under-graduate Senate, CERF bill is fi rst passed

T-Pain cancels concert at the end of the spring 2009 semester, leaving his $61,000 fee to be reallocated among SG departments.

Dalton sends out e-mail asking for requests for additional money from surplus to be distributed among SG programs.

Veysey sends request for seed funding to get CERF moving.

SG refuses this request, and Dalton re-drafts new CERF bill clarifying “...no money can be transferred by any member of Student Government from any Student Government account to the Clean Energy Revolving Fund.”

New CERF bill passed the Senate after waiving fi rst reading. Veysey was not present.

Realization of the implication of the bill trickles in, students and concerned members realize the bill potentially bars any SG support of CERF. Many believe that bill is not clear about the abilities SG has in fundraising for CERF.

SG President Andy MacCracken vetoes CERF bill.

After Senate vote, MacCracken’s veto is sustained.

Discussion about the new bill commences. Dalton begins drafting a new bill that will allow the transfer of funds to CERF after fundraising.

MacCracken and Dalton reach compromise that bars any student activity fees from being used for CERF. Students can choose to donate to the program.

CERF: The road to compromise

Location, location, loca-tion. AU is far enough from the heart of the city to have the feel of a suburban campus, yet close enough to still be within city lim-its. However, AU’s location would prove to be an issue for car-less students if not for D.C.’s lifeline — the Metro system.

Metro is an extremely useful mode of transportation, at least when it is working properly. We often take for granted that we can use a combination of subways and buses to travel throughout D.C. and the surrounding area to visit friends at colleges as far away as George Mason, Universi-ty of Maryland-College Park and Howard, to name a few. However, as useful as Metro is, it always seems to be having some kind of delay or outage. Remember parents’ weekend, when it took over half an hour to catch a train that then proceeded to travel at a snail’s pace to its destination? These are inconveniences that we’ve all learned to deal with, if not expect when riding Metro.

But wait, there’s more. Metro currently has a $40 million bud-get gap for this fiscal year, which comes down to $30 million after it receives $10 million from stim-ulus funds for preventive main-tenance, which they admittedly need desperately. In an attempt to combat the budget gap, Metro’s Board of Directors have decided to raise fares by 10 cents from March 1 to June 30, although many doubt that Metro will elimi-nate the increase in June. The fare increase is expected to generate approximately $10 million. While a fare increase was preferred to reduced service (another option Metro considered to raise rev-enue) by those who responded

to a Metro survey, this seemingly small fare increase can certainly add up to a huge expense over a week, month, or semester.

College students are especially going to be hit hard by this fare increase. Many of us have little change to spare as it is and rely on buses and subways to get us to school, internships or jobs across the city, not to mention to clubs and restaurants on the weekends. Most students could be consid-ered a captive audience since they do not have cars on campus, and must pay whatever price Metro sets in order to travel around D.C.

Cities across the country offer reduced fares to grade and high school students, the disabled and senior citizens. In Boston, stu-dents pay as low as 85 cents for a subway ride or have the option of purchasing a monthly unlimited-ride pass for $20. In D.C., senior citizens age 65 and up pay half-fare on the subway and 60 cents currently for a bus ride. So why aren’t college students included in the mix?

Because we’re a huge mon-eymaker. College students tend to travel in large groups, use the Metro often and don’t have the time or inclination to lobby for lower fares. However, it is time that we stop allowing Metro to dictate the costs of our transpor-tation, our vital connection with D.C. and the world outside of the AU bubble. Students across D.C. have organized on Facebook to make our opinion known to Met-ro authorities. AU students have the reputation for being the insti-gators of change when they work towards a cause. Together we can lobby Metro to reduce rates for college students across the greater D.C. area. I think it was a famous D.C. resident who once said, “yes, we can!”

Erin Cady is a freshman in the School of Public Affairs and an AU affairs columnist for the The Eagle. You can reach her at edpage@theeagleonline.com

EDITORIALJEN CALANTONE n Editor in Chief

Editor@TheEagleOnline.comJOE WENNER n Editorial Page Editor

EdPage@TheEagleOnline.com

FEBRAUARY 4, 2010

ACORN: A misunderstood organization

A Metro mess

To AU Senate: Pass CERF Student Government has worked through much contention to reach a compromise on

establishing a Clean Energy Revolving Fund. We’re now on the homestretch.

Last week, a charming fellow named James O’Keefe was arrested for an alleged attempted wiretap-ping of Democratic Louisiana Sen. Mary Landrieu’s phone lines. As you may recall, O’Keefe was the dash-ing investigator and impersonator extraordinaire who dressed up as a pimp. Along with his “ho” Hannah Giles, he sought to expose the pre-sumed dirt and corruption beneath the surface of the Association of Community Organizers for Reform Now, or ACORN. In 2008, for those who may not recall, ACORN went from being a relatively small group of social activists to a vile utterance among conservatives upon news breaking of alleged voter fraud. To clarify, this news wasn’t entirely true; the real non-story was that of two incompetent employees submitting fake voter registration forms to get paid without doing any work.

But ever since then, Republi-cans have used ACORN as one of their dirty buzzwords that, some-how, links to President Obama. Th is is along with “Ayres,” “socialism” and other words that are phrased to sound like they crawled out of a dreary Soviet alleyway where Rod Blagojevich lives in a dumpster. Per-haps the most telling moment was in the 2008 presidential debates, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., insisted that ACORN was “destroying the fabric of democracy.”

Really? A bunch of dirt-poor community organizers succeeded in undermining the greatest Democ-racy in the world? Highly unlikely.

Look, ACORN isn’t perfect. I do not condone “aiding and abetting with prostitution” — as conserva-tive blogger Andrew Breitbart put it — or any kind of tampering with voter registration. But what those individuals who have been foaming at the mouth over ACORN do not understand is that the faults of indi-

viduals are not representative of the organization as a whole.

Th e majority of ACORN employ-ees really do — to borrow a phrase from Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein — “God’s work.” Employ-ees — whom in many cases select ACORN over a lucrative corporate profession — choose to set them-selves up in the poorest of inner cit-ies. Th ey put themselves in danger of violence and fi nancial instability to help provide aff ordable housing, better schools and more active com-munities. If corporations truly are the gears that turn America, then would not community organizers and others like them provide the grease in between?

Just to point out their hypocrisy, how would the anti-ACORN cru-sade have reacted to, say, the govern-ment’s funding of an organization that killed innocents? Exactly that happened with Blackwater — the group of military contractors with a doctrine of starting a holy war, sent to Iraq by the Bush Administration and paid for with taxes. Th ey reck-lessly harmed American soldiers and killed Iraqi civilians. Has there been the same furor over these crimes as there has been over ACORN? While there have been talks of cutting their funding since 2007, the bill to de-fund an organization whose primary purpose is to help people was rushed through Congress thanks to all the generated hysteria.

Prostitution and voter fraud are both wrong. But so is trying to pro-vide a roadblock for those who try to help others. I know that in a perfect capitalist society, no private enter-prise would need funding from the federal government. But that isn’t the case here. If you really hate ACORN with a passion, consider this: if we all did our part in assuring equal de-mocracy for all, it simply would not be needed.

Isaac Stone is a sophomore in the School of International Service and the College of Arts and Sci-ences and a liberal columnist for The Eagle. You can reach him at edpage@theeagleonline.com.

U.S. Senate Democrats, take note. In a manner of wheeling and dealing that would make LBJ proud, the AU Undergradu-ate Senate clashed, debated and eventually compromised with Student Government President Andy MacCracken on conten-tious legislation that will estab-lish a Clean Energy Revolving Fund (CERF) for AU. Th e fi nal product only awaits fi nal ap-proval by the Senate during their upcoming Sunday session. Student senators should follow through on their commendable progress and pass the bill.

Essentially, this CERF would be managed with the goal of fi -nancing renewable energy gen-erators to be used on campus. Money saved through these ef-forts would be redirected back into CERF, making it a self-sus-taining entity. Not only is CERF

a great idea that helps AU fulfi ll its pledge to be carbon neutral, but similar programs have also been instituted by the State of Pennsylvania and Macalester University in Minnesota. Clear-ly, this fund was a relatively well-conceived initiative from the start.

However, the initial CERF bill had several wrinkles that needed to be ironed out. Class of 2010 Senator Steve Dalton was rightly concerned that AU students would be forced to au-tomatically contribute to this fund through student activity fees. Th e Eagle shares Dalton’s belief that students should not be coerced into funding CERF — which is ultimately a political project. Certainly, clean energy is a noble cause, but the means to this end should still benefi t AU students, not add on to the

seemingly endless fees we al-ready pay.

Accordingly, Dalton’s origi-nal bill barred SG from fund-ing CERF through virtually all means — including the student activity fee. Despite passing the Senate, Andy MacCracken ve-toed the bill. Without the votes needed to override the veto, Dalton chose his next best op-tion: compromise.

Th e two have hashed out their views and what is left is a great bill, one that should be a satisfactory compromise for all. In an appropriate representation of the middle ground, SG would be allowed to hold fundraisers to raise money to contribute to CERF. More importantly, AU students would not be saddled with additional charges on their activity fees. Dalton is satisfi ed and MacCracken has pledged

he will not veto. All that remains is an affi rmative vote from the Senate.

Of course, this process was not without its fl ops. Confusion arose in the Senate as to what the bill actually entailed. Claims that many senators went into session without actually reading the bill only coupled the misun-derstandings. Still, these regret-table and avoidable mistakes should not overshadow the effi -ciency of SG in fulfi lling its pur-pose: acting on student input to produce results. Student groups like EcoSense had prompted de-bate on installing CERF, sena-tors acted on the bill, reconciled diff erences and are on the brink of producing an impressive pro-gram that will benefi t AU and its students. With success so close, the next step should be clear. Senators, pass the bill.

THE STONE TABLET

ISAAC STONE

ERIN CADY

THAT AMERICAN LIFE

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theEAGLE

Women’s Initiative thanks Alex Knepper for publicity

Women’s Initiative would like to thank Eagle Columnist Alex Knepper for his gracious promo-tion of the Vagina Monologues in his recent column. The Va-gina Monologues are one of AU’s longest running traditions; this year’s performance marks the 10th year it has been performed on campus. Hundreds of AU stu-dents have been involved in the productions, and ticket sales have generated thousands of dollars in donations to local non-profits working to end violence against women like the D.C. Rape Cri-sis Center and the local office of the Rape, Abuse, and Incest Na-tional Network, as well as V-Day International, which aids women and girls around the world. The show is truly the embodiment of AU’s Statement of Common

Purpose to turn ideas into action and action into service, and we are proud that so much could be accomplished and so many lives touched on such a small budget. This year, we are also happy to ex-pand our V-Day events to include our “Directors’ Cut” show, which showcases the stories and voices of members of our own com-munity around the issues raised by The Vagina Monologues, and the V-Men Campaign, which will empower and engage men in gen-erating ideas and action to end violence against women and girls for good. The TVM Cast service project to assist the District Al-liance for Safe Housing, which places survivors of domestic violence in safe housing, is also open to any volunteers interested in getting involved.

Unfortunately, Knepper ne-glected to mention the dates and times of this year’s show. The Vagina Monologues will be staged on Thursday, February 25 through Saturday, Feb. 27 at 8 p.m. nightly in the University

Club in Mary Graydon Center. Tickets cost only $8 for students and $10 for community members and will be available starting Feb. 17 each weekday at the tables in MGC. All proceeds from this year’s show will benefit Women Empowered Against Violence, which provides legal, counsel-ing, economic, and educational services to help survivors of do-mestic violence achieve safety and lead empowered lives, and the Domestic Violence Resource Project, which provides advo-cacy, awareness, educational, and support resources regarding domestic violence for members of the D.C. metro area’s Asian and Pacific Islander community. Tickets always sell out quickly, so make sure to pick yours up as soon as possible.

Leah GatesDirector of Vagina MonologuesWomen’s Initiative

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

CORRECTIONS

In “Frat faces IFC allegations,” from the Feb. 1 edition of Th e Eagle, Curtis Burrill was misidentifi ed as the director of greek life. His job title is “coor-dinator,” not director.

In “Undergrad Senate votes to uphold MacCracken veto,” Th e Eagle stated that the Senate voted 11-7-1, sustaining the veto. At the Feb. 1 meeting of the Undergraduate Senate, there was an 11-7-1 vote in favor of overriding the veto. Th e votes were not enough of a majority to override the veto, thus sustaining it.

Th e Eagle regrets these errors.

theEAGLE 4newsFEBRUARY 4, 2010

By BROOKES MAY Eagle Contributing Writer

Rachel Louise Snyder may have traded her frequent fl yer miles for a tenure track professo-rial post, but being behind a desk hasn’t diminished her curiosity for the world around her.

Snyder, a professor of litera-ture and creative writing in the College of Arts and Sciences has a new weekly radio show called “Th e Global Guru,” in which she focuses on one small and unique part of a diff erent culture. Sny-der’s pieces run a mere 2 minutes, 45 seconds and are broadcast on stations all over the country, in-cluding WAMU 88.5.

“Each week we ask just one simple question, just one,” Sny-der says in the opening of each short piece.

From Tasmanian devils to Dutch insults, Snyder takes her listeners on a factoid-fi lled trip around the world.

“We associate specifi c things with specifi c cultures,” Snyder said. “England, we think of tea for example. But cultures are so much more complex than that. ‘Th e Global Guru’ lets me ex-plore these complexities in sim-ple ways.”

As a freelance writer and journalist, Snyder traveled wide-ly, publishing articles in publi-cations like Redbook, Th e New York Times Magazine and Th e New Republic.

Her stories have been heard on popular radio shows like “All Th ings Considered,” “Th is American Life” and “Morning Edition.”

She was recently interviewed on WAMU 88.5, “Th e Ani-

mal House,” for her story about tracking Tasmanian devils in the wild.

Snyder lived in London and Cambodia and covered the aft er-math of the Indonesian tsunami. She recently published a book, “Fugitive Denim,” following the elusive trail of textile produc-tion, where she proves there is more to the story than “Made in Mexico,” as the tag on your jeans might claim.

“Th e world is complicated,” Snyder said. “And we are so inter-connected. Global Guru is great because I’m always fi nding out these fun little facts but there’s no place to publish them.”

She described culture like the adhesive on a sticker, closely connected to people, impossible to separate, and not always obvi-ous.

“How do we defi ne ‘Ameri-can?’” Snyder asked. “We are so much more than McDonald’s or ‘Friends.’ But it’s so hard to ex-plain or defi ne, all cultures are. With Global Guru I can explore something vastly complicated in a really straightforward way.”

Plus, the Global Guru is a per-fect fi t for AU’s campus, Snyder said.

“AU is so global,” she said. “It’s why I chose to teach here. It has so much to off er, and is so in touch with the world. Where better to broadcast from?”

Th e Global Guru can be heard by podcast and airs on WAMU 88.5 on Friday nights at 10:58.

You can reach this writer at news@theeagleonline.com.

By ASHLEY DEJEANEagle Contributing Writer

Legalizing gay marriage in D.C. in 2009 would have boosted the local economy $52 million over the course of three years, according to a Wil-liams Institute estimate.

Christopher Ramos, research as-sociate at the Williams Institute, a think tank at the University of Cali-fornia Los Angeles School of Law that focuses on sexual orientation law, explained the number of dollars generated in the economy would be lower now, but the D.C. economy would still receive a boost.

“We estimated about $52 mil-lion over three years, and about $5.5 million in revenue in local govern-ment tax fees,” Ramos said. “Both of those numbers will be less now since the legal landscape of marriage

has changed in our country. Th ose couples that would have gone to D.C. now have other options.”

Th e D.C. Offi ce of the Chief Fi-nancial Offi cer expects the boost to be between $4.5 and $22 million, ac-cording to the DC Agenda, a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender news Web site.

Tonei Glavinic, a sophomore in the School of Public Aff airs, volun-teers at the National Gay and Les-bian Task Force, National Center for Transgender Equality and Trans Youth Family Allies, and she works closely with the National Center for Lesbian Rights. He thinks that the boost in the D.C. economy will most greatly benefi t those in the wedding industry, he said.

“Th ere’s an increase in the num-ber of people who can get married, so there will be an economic impact be-

cause people spend a lot of money on weddings — everything from event planners, space reservations, fl orists, bakeries, photographers, invitations,” Glavinic said. “When people get married they will oft en spend tens of thousands of dollars on their wed-ding.”

However, Ramos explained the Williams Institute study did not fac-tor in the multiplier eff ect, which would boost other local industries as the money spent is then spent again by the companies hired for wed-dings.

Th ere are 3,678 same-sex un-married partners living in the same household, according to the 2000 census. Based on estimates from numbers in other states that have legalized gay marriage, such as Mas-sachusetts, half of these couples are expected to marry, according to the

Williams Institute.In addition, slightly less than

12,550 out-of-state couples are ex-pected to travel to D.C. to get married in the next three years, according to Ramos.

Economics Professor Daniel Lin said while he expects the marriage in-dustry to grow, investments in a new home and furnishings for that home, as is sometimes seen when couples get married, will remain fairly stable.

“I expect there would be more money spent on wedding ceremo-nies, but because you don’t have to be married to live together, I would think all the spending you see from living together wouldn’t change,” Lin said.

You can reach this writer at news@theeagleonline.com.

CAS prof. airs global show

Marriage bill may aid D.C. econ.

By STEFANIE DAZIOEagle Staff Writer

In an eff ort to “showcase” its work, Th e Talon, AU’s yearbook, will launch an updated Web site this week, according to Editor-in-Chief Ashley Kemper.

Th e Talon will also continue to publish its $65, 300-page hardcover book this year, unlike other college yearbooks, many of which have re-cently been discontinued. Purdue University, the University of Virgin-ia and Mississippi State University are a few that have recently given up on funding their yearbooks, accord-ing to a recent article in Th e Wash-ington Post.

“Right now, our biggest problem is that people don’t know about us,” Kemper said. “[Th e Web site] will hopefully peak their interest.”

Th e Web site will include features like posting a Talon picture directly to a Facebook wall with a link back to Th e Talon Web site.

Kemper said she believes this move will “increase our popularity and recognition.”

Th e hope is that a parent will visit the Web site, see his or her child and be more likely to buy a book, said Eric Hian-Cheong, a freshman in the School of Communication.

Facebook photo albums are fast outpacing the production of year-books, which caused the death of Purdue University’s yearbook, “De-bris,” in 2008, according to then-section editor Jon Van Norman, a senior at Purdue.

“People can see pictures pretty much the next day on Facebook,” Van Norman said. “How are we go-ing to be able to get them to remem-ber it?”

Students were not willing to shell out the $65 for a yearbook when they could see Facebook photos for free, he said.

“We just couldn’t turn a profi t from making the books,” Van Nor-man said. “We had to move on and try to come up with something more modern.”

Th e staff decided instead to pub-lish “On Track,” of which Van Nor-man is also the editor in chief. “On Track” is a free 80-page, soft -cover, annual publication funded through sponsorships and advertisements, Van Norman said.

“We’re still trying to keep the tra-dition of a year book alive,” he said. “It might not be a traditional one, but we’re trying to keep the concept alive.”

Hian-Cheong said a yearbook is about looking back on college 20 years from now.

“People don’t realize it, but a yearbook is not something you look at when you graduate,” Hian-Cheong said. “It’s kind of like a time capsule ... in the future you’ll open it up, and it’ll bring back memories.”

Down the road, former students won’t remember when President Barack Obama visited AU, Kemper said.

People won’t remember “the line that stretched down Massachu-setts Ave[nue],” until a yearbook is

opened, she said.Talonyearbook.com will go live

by next week and will be developed throughout the semester, according to Kemper.

Th e site will feature photo gal-leries as well as information about book sales, senior portraits, the history of the Talon and informa-tion about how to join the yearbook staff .

Kemper and the Talon staff will get the word out about the site in the near future by sending out post-cards, fl iers and other promotional materials.

Kemper noted that the site is in no way meant to replace the year-book.

“By having an exciting, cutting-edge platform to display and share our hard work, students will be able to see the high-quality content we produce and will, hopefully, want to buy a book,” Kemper said.

Kemper hopes students will val-ue and appreciate their yearbooks for years to come.

“While Facebook and other so-cial networking sites will only last until their popularity fades, a year-book can forever hold a students’ life at AU right on their bookshelf.”

Th e Talon typically sells 400 cop-ies a year and is published by Taylor Publishing. Yearbooks are mailed directly to students and can be or-dered online at www.buymycolleg-eyearbook.com.

You can reach this staff writer at sdazio@theeagleonline.com.

Talon Web site kicks off in era of Facebook

Ducockis, the host, comes up to the stage, winding the audience up with jokes that promise to please the audience, mentioning AU’s in-famous nickname “gay-jew.”

One performance that received a lot of laughs came from Akasha Cassadine, who put on a show to the song “If I Can’t Sell It I’ll Sit On It” by Ruth Brown.

“It’s a comedy about an old woman who basically says she owns a secondhand furniture store and she’s talking about this chair, but in essence she’s talking about herself and her body,” she said.

Ducockis, in a teal, Mardi Gras leotard paired with metallic sil-ver tights, raised the most money

brought in by a single performance with “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga, a popular artist in the LGBT com-munity.

“I think [Lady Gaga] is someone who just gets it. She is what we all wish we were-totally unapologetic about who we are,” School of In-ternational Service freshman Brett Atanasio said. “[She has] raw, un-bridled passion. She doesn’t care who you are, you’re still beautiful, and, of course, she’s fabulous.”

Other performers include Ba’Naka Schaad, a beloved per-former at Town Dance Boutique, Schuyler Whitney and Yoo-mei.

You can reach this writer at news@theeagleonline.com.

n from DRAG SHOW on page 1

*@#!3*%!EAGLE RANTSYes, maybe some people in the greek system are diff erent from the stereotype and decent people, it’s hard for the rest of us not to group you guys together. So many of you are alike. It’s impossible to identify each individual, as terrible as that sounds. I’m still going to stereo-type you.

I thought AU was supposed to be full of politically active, engaged youth. Th e Citizens United ruling, the death of the health care bill, the goddamn Tea Party - more than ever, students need to be fi ghting for the change we believed in.Unless you’re all just AU Dems throwing out talking points, happy with being lied to and the corpo-rate co-opting of the presidential administration we believed cared about students and their futures just a year ago.

Dear Eagle:Ten students are MIA in Haiti, you lead with an IFC infraction.Is Katie Couric running your pa-per lately?EDITOR’S NOTE: Refer to today’s Quick take for our answer.

Th at guy who doesn’t like “Th e Quick Take” is obviously the mys-tery man giving blow jobs in the Arboretum. TQT is fun.

Th e new “campus beautifi cation” shirts Phi Sigma Kappa made could be funny ... if those guys were actually hot themselves.

To the dork who wrote about cy-lons: Th ere is no way the library could be cylons, they’ve got to be Klingons with that noble sense of honor and pride. Kaplah!

As part of the new Civitas program AU students aren’t supposed to use the word angry, rather “grumpy” nor “stupid.” Th ey’re supposed to say “Moody.”

I hate music. It’s got too many notes.

In the really awesome Wikipedia game that is sweeping campus, you can get from Hitler to Neil Kerwin in under four clicks. Just sayin.

Yo, old man on the 2nd fl oor of the

library ... what are you doing here? Why are you having such a loud conversation on your phone? Why do you have an iPhone?

STOP TALKING ON THE GOD-DAMN QUIET FLOOR, IDIOTS! I AM ROBBED OF SERENITY AT THE ONE AREA OF CAM-PUS THAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE GUARANTEED. Seriously, I thought I found a place where I could escape the inane dum-bassery of my peers.

Why have all of the Eagle Rants sucked this semester?And stop hating on the Ginger Kids

Alex Knepper: Most hated indi-vidual at American University?

Fire alarm, twice in one night in MGC? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

DID anyone else notice the hipster invasion? How did it happen with out anyone stopping them?

If you don’t believe in evolution, you should probably go fuck your-self.

AU should administer a manda-tory IQ test before admitting stu-dents. Th at way all of the idiots can be weeded out before it’s too late.

ATV: Bullshit.

RE: Letterwearer in philosophy class ... since you’re taking a philos-ophy class, you will at some point learn that rational beings would never sink so low as to join greek life. Face it, Socrates, a true Greek, is rolling in his grave over people like you.

FUCK EVERYONE WHO OWNS A BIKE AT THIS SCHOOL AND NEVER RIDES IT!! Your rusting piece of shit fi xed gear is taking up the bike rack space. When I’m rushing to my class aft er biking to school, I don’t need to try to shove your bike as far away as possible just so I can lock mine up.

To all of the upperclassmen cur-rently living on campus: You can’t depend on Housing and Dining forever. Get the fuck over it.

according to the site.Green voided her California resi-

dency last year, and in a voter reg-istration drive last spring at least 30 other students also registered as D.C. residents, Green said.

In the last round of redistricting, AU’s main campus was divided be-tween SMD 07 and SMD 02, making it more diffi cult to meet the petition requirements.

“When [AU’s district] was split up, I don’t think that anyone realized the eff ect that it would have on the campus,” Smith said.

Th e D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics registers voters living on AU’s main campus to 4400 Massachusetts Avenue, an address that is located in District 02.

In November, aft er Green had col-lected the required 25 signatures, the Board of Elections and Ethics invali-dated the petition. Th e Board could not tell the diff erence between stu-dents living on South side in SMD07 and on North side in SMD02, ac-

cording to Green and Pagano. In December, the Board of Elec-

tions and Ethics agreed to use the residence halls’ unique four-digit numbers at the end of the ZIP code to diff erentiate D.C. voters living in District 02 and District 07. However, the Board of Elections and Ethics has yet to update their registration sys-tem, according to Pagano.

Green will not be able to obtain a new petition until this is done, Pa-gano said.

In 2006, the Student Government tried to fi eld a candidate, but no one stepped forward to fi ll the position, Th e Eagle previously reported.

Th e ANC 3D commissioners, like Smith, have been very supportive, according to both Green and Mac-Cracken.

“Students are a part of our com-munity, and the fact that the seat is empty is a real loss. It is a loss for AU, and it is a loss for the community,” Smith said.

You can reach this writer atnews@theeagleonline.com.

she sees it as logical for upperclass-men to be given lower priority, as they are likely to live off -campus.

“Under that logic, if you are going to say that seniors have preference over juniors, it goes against the logic,” she said. “I understand how [rising] seniors feel that they’ve paid their dues and now should have priority in the system, because it’s how this sys-tem has worked for a long time.”

Next year, housing at the Berk-shire Apartments will no longer be all-inclusive, as Housing and Dining will require residents to pay for their own Internet and cable.

Th e reasons for this change were twofold, Moody said.

During the fall semester, Hous-ing and Dining had a billing dispute with the company that provides cable service to the complex, leaving some residents without television for weeks, Th e Eagle previously reported.

Students at the Berks also were saying that they either did not want TV or wanted premium channels.

Th e cost of cable and Internet has been subtracted from the housing rates next year, Moody said.

Once the lottery process is com-plete and all 400 spots have been as-signed to rising juniors and seniors, there will be about 350 spaces left over that were in the lottery inven-tory but that were not selected. Th ese spaces will be for rising sophomores, in addition to double rooms. Moody predicts that most of those spaces will be in Centennial Hall.

“I imagine a bulk of Centennial will still be available for rising sopho-mores,” he said.

For rising sophomores, all spaces will be available at once online on a fi rst-come, fi rst-serve basis, he said.

Th e actual lottery will be comput-erized and completely random. To be sure, there will be a representative from RHA observing the process as it takes place.

Applications to participate in the lottery are due at 5 p.m. Feb. 12. Lot-tery numbers will be randomly as-signed on Feb. 17 and the room se-lection process will begin Feb. 23 for 11 1/2 month leases at the Berks. Th e rest of the spaces will be assigned on Feb. 25 and 26.

You can reach this staff writer at eklapper@theeagleonline.com.

n from ANC on page 1

n from HOUSING on page 1

FEBRUARY 4, 2010

By HILARY LEISTEREagle Contributing Writer

Have you ever gone on a date with someone and just clicked with that person? Then you go on a second date, a third date, a fourth and that hard-to-find chemistry is still there. You’re caught up with that person and anxiously waiting for them to make a move. Everything seems so perfect and you think that to-night might be the night that he or she comes up to your apart-ment. But just when you think everything is going so well, they kiss your cheek, bid you “good night” and walk away ... again. The new movie “Dear John” is a perfect metaphor for this type of dating situation.

The two lead characters, John (Channing Tatum) and Savannah (Amanda Seyfried), are handed a perfect, life-changing romance

on a silver platter and throw it away because of Savannah’s utter stupidity. Not to ruin the entire plot for those planning to see the film, but there is no happily ever after.

Author Nicholas Sparks wowed chick flick lovers across the nation in 2004 when his novel “The Notebook” made it to the big screen. The love story be-tween Noah and Allie made ev-ery American girl pine for a quiet Southern boy to build them a white house with a special room for painting. But unlike “The Notebook,” “Dear John” lacks a certain quality — a quality that makes tears of both happiness and sorrow stream down your face as the credits roll. Instead, tears of anger and disappoint-ment will spout from your eyes, and the rolling credits will leave you feeling confused and unful-filled.

The film starts out very quick-ly with the romance between John and Savannah kindling in the first 10 minutes. About 20 minutes in, Savannah has already met John’s

dad and the two characters are completely, head-over-heels for each other. Fast-forward a few more minutes and a uniformed John is headed overseas for his next Army mission (he’s a ser-geant in the Special Forces). Let-ters fly back and forth between the two lovebirds, but drama be-gins when John feels pressured by fellow soldiers to extend his tour. What he doesn’t realize is that Savannah has her own dilemmas back home in Charleston, S.C.

By the end of the movie, and especially during the last third, viewers become very frustrated. The audience keeps waiting for something big to happen between John and Savannah but is never given that relief and satisfaction. Circumstances keep arising that prevent the two from embracing their true love for one another. “Dear John” is like Chinese food without a fortune cookie, air-planes without free snacks or sex without an orgasm — painfully incomplete.

Despite the film’s many nega-tives, there are a handful of

reasons to smile and laugh dur-ing “Dear John.” The first and most obvious is the beautiful, irresistible and shirtless Chan-ning Tatum. Good luck peeling your eyes away from the screen when he’s surfing, dressed up in uniform or wearing his adorable navy blue sweater. When he cries during the film (and he cries sev-eral times), the audience feels compelled to tear up as well. An-other reason to see “Dear John” is for Richard Jenkins, the actor who plays John’s father. He is absolutely remarkable as an au-tistic and socially anxious adult. His performance was above and beyond that of any other charac-ters (except, of course, the crying Channing Tatum).

“Dear John” opens on Feb. 5 in theaters everywhere. But re-member, if you do choose to see it, don’t expect “The Notebook” — but do enjoy the eye candy!

You can reach this writer at thescene@theeagleonline.com.

C-DEAR JOHN

ACROSS THE OCEAN — Despite the success of Nicholas Sparks’ “The Notebook” when it was adapted to fi lm, “Dear John” has not crossed mediums as easily. The fi lm fails to leave any sense of fulfi llment in the audience, instead fi lling them with frustration at the uneventful romance.

Photo by SCOTT GARFIELD

‘John’ signs without love

Oscar nomination day is a holi-day for me. I wake up super early (on my day off , mind you) and watch the nomination presentation, this year, streamed live online. It’s a lot like Christmas, except without the tree, gift s and family stuff , although you still complain about who shouldn’t be there and who’s missing.

Th is year the academy expanded its number of Best Picture nominees from fi ve to 10 in perhaps the smart-est move they’ve done in years. Th is expansion not only makes obvious room for more nominees, it eff ec-tively enhances the perception of the types of fi lms that can be Best Picture nominees.

Take this year’s 10 nominees for example: “Avatar,” “Th e Blind Side,” “District 9,” “An Education,” “Th e Hurt Locker,” “Inglourious Basterds,” “Precious,” “A Serious Man,” “Up” and “Up in the Air.” Just the sheer fact that alien-infested, science-fi ction thriller “District 9” is next to the wise Brit-ish drama “An Education” is terribly exciting.

Although some might be turned off by the inclusion of some more mainstream audience favorites like “Th e Blind Side,” I would wager that viewership of the Academy Awards this year is going to skyrocket. People love to see their favorite movies and performers win big, so as downright giddy as I will be when Katherine Bigelow wins her much warranted Best Director trophy for her smart war drama “Th e Hurt Locker,” more people across America will be over the moon when Sandra Bullock takes Best Actress for her turn in the criti-cally-divided, yet audience and box offi ce smash, “Th e Blind Side.” Open-ing up the playing fi eld to 10 horses yields a much more honest represen-tation of the kind of contemporary fi lms people, critics and audiences alike are seeing and loving.

Again, let’s take a look at our nom-inees. Jason Reitman’s “Up in the Air”

secures the quirky indie-sensibility factor; science-fi ction geeks will be pleased by the presence of aliens and spaceships with “Avatar” and “District 9.” Auteur lovers have themselves a nice dose of Tarantino and Coen Brothers with “Inglourious Basterds” and “A Single Man” respectively; those seeking emotionally charged tear-jerkers have themselves “Th e Blind Side” and “Precious;” parents forced to confi ne their cinematic endeavors to animated, kids-friendly fi lms have “Up.” Th en there’s “Th e Hurt Locker” and “An Education” for the existen-tial, art-house theater-goers. It’d be diffi cult to argue that these 10 afore-mentioned fi lms don’t represent quite a plethora of fi lm-going demograph-ics, tastes and trends.

It will be interesting to see how this more open, inclusive approach to Best Picture will translate in future years, but more so than anything, I really hope to see the academy warm up to some comedy fi lms. As Anne Hathaway read the 10 fi lms up for the big award, I secretly hoped a fi lm like “Th e Hangover” would sneak in. Sure, it’s no “Hurt Locker,” but I just appreciate the novelty that for quite some time, especially aft er its surpris-ing Golden Globes victory, the fi lm was in the running for a Best Picture nomination.

“Th e Hangover” chronicles the gross-out-humored blackout night that involved a homosexual ninja thief, a tiger stolen from Mike Tyson and an accidental marriage to a strip-per. All tasteless, sure, but how great would it have been to see something so crude in the same line up as “An Education?” Although the latter was leagues better in pretty much every department imaginable (aside from laughs), I can probably count the peo-ple I know who saw it on one hand. “Th e Hangover,” however, I feel was seen and adored by most people I know, from crass uncles and the high school kids I work with to fellow fi lm students.

Expanding the fi eld was a brilliant idea and the implications for its new inclusive air for the independent in-dustry is terribly exciting, I just hope the academy loosens up a little and starts taking comedy seriously.

You can reach this columnist at thescene@theeagleonline.com.

10 Best Picture nods promise Oscar changes

By MICHAEL W. RICHARDSONEagle Staff Writer

One might consider it diffi cult to imagine that an infl uential band, active since the late ‘60s and count-ing among their fans a number of infl uential bands, producers and other celebrities could somehow re-main obscure. But you probably still haven’t heard of Th e Residents. And they would likely prefer it that way.

Th e mystique of Th e Residents is that we don’t know who they are. Fiercely protective of their identi-ties, they have never revealed their names, or even what they look like. Concert-goers are treated to the foursome playing in tuxedos, their

faces oft en obscured by space hel-mets painted like giant eyeballs, topped off with a top hat. At one point, they claimed to have broken up due to an unfortunate food fi ght, but that information is likely a red herring, keeping music journalists and fans on their toes. Th ese small snippets are really all anyone has to follow, considering Th e Residents have never even given their own interviews. Taking over this job is their management team, whose cryptic answers just bring up more questions. But they’re showing off their extreme blend of anti-music at the 9:30 club this Sunday.

Without the drama of keeping their personal lives separate from

the music, Th e Residents have been able to put together decades worth of experimental music that takes bits from popular music to experi-mental jazz and mashes them to-gether with their own very anti-pop aesthetic. Th eir fi rst album, “Meet Th e Residents,” directly parodied the Beatles’ “Meet the Beatles,” down to the altered cover art that was just a little too similar to the Fab Four’s for their management’s comfort (though rumor has it that it turned both Ringo Starr and George Harrison into instant fans). It sold 40 copies its fi rst year.

Th eir next album, “Not Avail-able,” was recorded among much

Residents revel in weird RUDE MECHANICALS ‘LEAR’ IN AUDIENCE

AU’s Shakespeare theater troupe, the Rude Mechanicals, are putting on a production of “King Lear” in Katzen this week. The show premieres Feb. 4 at 7:30 p.m. with other performance times through Feb. 6.

Photo by MATT WELSCH

TWO EYES ARE BETTER THAN ONE — Despite their identities remaining anonymous, The Residents are still rocking since they hit the music scene in the late ‘60s. Their odd ways and desire to stay out of the mainstream haven’t stopped well-known names such as Matt Groening and bands like Animal Collective from admiring them.

Courtesy of THE RESIDENTS

n see RESIDENTS on page 6

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hype from a new-cult fan base that had latched onto their fi rst album and was naturally await-ing the band’s second with fevered anticipation. So Th e Residents de-cided to fi nish recording and then shelve it until everyone had for-gotten it existed. In the meantime, they began releasing experimental fi lms, which would eventually lead them to adopt emerging computer technology later in their career to create more and more outlandish visuals.

Further albums were revealed, including the relatively infamous “Th ird Reich & Roll,” which paro-

died pop music as a tool of fascistic devotion. It was made up of several long tracks with pop songs mashed up, forgoing melody and what a casual listener would call musical affi nity. “Commercial Album” con-sisted of 40 one-minute songs that savagely tore apart conventional music, using only one verse and one chorus each to send up all the clichés the music industry had to off er.

Since then, Th e Residents have not slowed down. Despite pushing past 40 years, there are no signs that their unique brand of anti-es-tablishment music is losing steam. And though they are not oft en rec-ognized, several acts have admit-

ted their admiration for the band. Th ey Might Be Giants and Animal Collective both count them as huge infl uences. Penne Gillette consid-ers them his favorite band, as does Matt Groening. Th ey’ve pierced through the shallow layers of pop culture, but kept their identities se-cure and their musical philosophy intact.

For a show guaranteed to be unique, check out Th e Residents’ performance at the 9:30 club on Sunday, Feb. 7. Don’t forget your top hat.

You can reach this staff writer at mrichardson@theeagleonline.com.

By KELLY HOLLIDAYEagle Contributing Writer

For Bethesda-Chevy Chase Res-taurant Week, trendy tapas restau-rant Jaleo whittled its detailed menu down to a fi ve-course meal featur-ing the best of its traditional and modern Spanish fare. For a mere $30, diners were able to share gen-erous portions of Jaleo’s most popu-lar dishes, served on modern white fl atware at a relatively speedy pace.

Th e fi rst course off ered a beauti-fully presented onion soup with a poached egg, and an endive, goat cheese, orange and almond dish that balanced bitterness and sweetness. Th e standout of the group, howev-er, was the pan con tomate y queso pasamontés, a trio of toasted slices of rustic bread vigorously scrubbed red with tomatoes, topped with a thin slice of Manchego cheese and drizzled with a few drops of olive oil. Th e Manchego slightly over-powered the tomato, but the crunch

of the bread, the sweetness of the tomatoes and the tartness of the cheese was the perfect little bite, and a great start to the meal.

With the second course came the vegetables, featuring an inter-esting plate of seared piquillo pep-pers fi lled with goat cheese and seared onions with blue cheese and pine nuts. Th e tangy romesco sauce paired with the grilled asparagus dish was just too good not to mop up with a slice of bread.

Th e third course, Modernas y Clásicas, brought one of the best dishes of the night, the patatas bravas — fried fi ngerling potatoes topped with a spicy tomato sauce and a thick, rich aioli sauce. Th e popular tapa of shrimp sautéed with garlic and pepper and the cho-rizo wrapped in a crispy potato chip were also highlights.

Th e fourth course was an over-all disappointment with the grilled marinated chicken and parsley purée falling fl at in fl avor, and the

small, perfectly cooked portion of salmon oddly combined with pomegranate and a thin caulifl ower puree. Th e scallop and butternut squash puree was perfectly seared but served lukewarm, and could have done without the tart clemen-tine sauce.

By the time the dishes were cleared, a sweet bite to end the meal was needed. Luckily, the fi ft h and fi -nal course of the night was the best. Th e stars of the evening were the rich and fl uff y chocolate torte and the refreshing homemade choco-late, vanilla and (surprising) goat cheese ice cream.

Th e sloppy service and the over-lap of courses was a damper on the meal, but with high-backed, cushy chairs and Spanish-style tiles adorning the walls, Jaleo is a cozy and comfortable dining setting.

You can reach this writer at thescene@theeagleonline.com.

FRUIT OF THE SEA — During the recent Bethesda-Chevy Chase Restaurant Week, Jaleo pleased palates with its pre-fi xed menu featuring fi ve courses for $30. The tapas restaurant offered plates such as scallops with clementines and a butternut squash purée, pictured above, among their other modern Spanish fare.

KELLY HOLLIDAY / THE EAGLE

Spanish eatery offers modern tapas menu

By KATY PITKINEagle Contributing Writer

“SNL Presents: Sports All-Stars” certainly became a favor-ite of anyone who loves sports and likes comedy. Th e two-hour special aired on Sunday. While Saturday Night Live’s latest Christmas special was hosted by Kristen Wiig’s one-dimensional character Gilly, the hosts of this sports special were much better suited: Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte played their ESPN reporter counterparts, Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink. It was a hilariously refreshing change.

Twinkle’s off ensive jokes about various sponsors, Stink’s cluelessness about every sport imaginable and the fact that they are both naturals at hosting a show provided an entertaining and seamless segue in and out of every sketch.

Th is “SNL” special came just in time for the 2010 Winter Olym-pics and the Super Bowl. Th e show brought together some of the best comedic sports sketches throughout the past 30 years. You

don’t have to be a sports fanatic to fi nd these sketches funny. In the opening sketch from 2001, Derek Jeter aloofl y pelts base-balls into the audience injuring fans, production assistants and lighting equipment, exclaiming, “I’m giving fans the opportunity that they’ve always wanted: to catch a foul ball.”

Th is special collects sketch-es from every era of the show. Lorne Michaels created “SNL” in 1975, and while their target demographic might now be a younger crowd, they chose a va-riety of sketches that have aired since the beginning of the show that appeals to sports fans of all ages.

Sports stars’ endorsements provided a springboard for many of the sketches. While mentoring inner-city children, Super Bowl-bound quarterback Peyton Man-ning showed them how to “get ahead” in life — by keying into cars, hitting on beautiful women and successfully running from the police.

As for the big game this Sun-day, “Saturday Night Live” star

Will Forte said he was slightly partial to the Indianapolis Colts, as many of the sketches chosen were from quarterback Peyton Manning’s hosting episode.

“Peyton Manning hosted the show a couple years ago so we love the guy ... but you know, the Saints coming in, they’ve never been to a Super Bowl,” Forte said in an interview with Th e Eagle. “I want each team to win. I want a tie.”

Fellow star Jason Sudeikis said that he had no prediction for Sunday’s game, but had high hopes for what he thinks will be an apocalyptic 2012 Super Bowl.

“I hope it’s just one long half-time show ... It’s all the Mayans — just the Mayans with the spec-tacular fi re show,” Sudeikis said. “Mayans will win the 2012 Super Bowl — the Mayans by 3 if they get a last second fi eld goal.”

Th e “SNL Presents: Sports All-Stars” special is available anytime on hulu.com.

You can reach this writer at thescene@theeeagleonline.com.

TWINKLE TOES — ‘Saturday Night Live’ catered to sports fans this past Sunday with their special, ‘SNL Presents: Sports-All Stars.’ The episode lasted two hours and consisted of sketches from every era of the show. Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte hosted as characters Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink.

Photo by DANA EDELSON

‘SNL’ special satiates sport-loving spectators

On a scale of one to 10, how happy are you? Ever wonder if maybe you aren’t as happy as you could be?

Imagine a happiness num-ber line, with “0” in the center, “-10” on one end and “10” on the other. The happiest place ever is “10,” while “-10” is the unhappiest. And “0” is just fine. Most people, even those who believe they are perfectly con-tent, actually linger around “0” in the center of the number line. People that are depressed or have other psychological condi-tions typically fall in the nega-tives. Throughout most of psy-chology’s history, doctors have focused on these people in the negatives, considering proper mental health to be the absence of aversive states. That is, as long as you didn’t have a diagnosable disorder, you were fine and gen-erally ignored. The psychology community spent little time re-searching therapies that could help people that are “just fine” to be extremely happy. But what if “just fine” was just not good enough?

Lately, some psychologists have been investigating this. I spoke to Dr. Anthony Ahrens, a psychology professor at AU who has taught theories of happiness and an honors colloquium on positive psychology. Ahrens ex-plained that positive psychology focuses not on getting rid of dis-orders, but on maximizing one’s happiness using the person’s in-dividual strengths, regardless of whether a disorder is present.

Positive psychology, or “the

psychology of human strengths,” as it has come to be called, has been extensively developed by Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychol-ogy professor at the University of Pennsylvania. Seligman is working to develop a system of human strength categorization, which would be an important tool in this psychology, just as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has served as a tool in diagnosing sufferers of mental disorders.

Ahrens explained that there are two therapies in this practice that have been clinically shown to increase overall happiness. The first therapy involves identi-fying your “signature strengths” and then finding ways to use them every day in new ways. Now, maybe you already know what your signature strength is. Maybe you are always the co-median in the room, so perhaps your strength is your humor. If you aren’t sure what your “sig-nature strength” is, as I wasn’t, never fear. There’s a test online, of course. Don’t you just love the Internet? If you go to authen-tichappiness.sas.upenn.edu, you’ll be brought to a huge list of questionnaires. You can reg-ister for free, then take the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. The survey is long, but whatever — just consider it 15 minutes of your life you would have spent putzing around on Facebook, anyway.

I took the survey, and my highest strength was “curios-ity and interest in the world.” Therefore, I should focus on actively using my curiosity throughout the day. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been the one always asking questions, but maybe I need to ask more. I love to travel, people-watch and talk to new people, so per-haps it would be helpful for me to find ways to meet and talk to

new people on ordinary days. I love when I find that there’s an interesting person sitting next to me on an airplane, the bus or the Metro; however, I don’t always feel comfortable talking to ran-dom people. But maybe I should try it more often anyway. When-ever there are opportunities to satisfy my curiosity, I should go for it, because it could actually be more therapeutic for me than I might have realized. Figure out what your strength is, and then do whatever you can to use it.

The second therapy Ahrens discussed involves reflecting on each day and thinking of three good things that happened, and why they happened. This allows you to not only find things to be grateful for, but to assess what made them possible. Maybe you got a good grade back on an exam, and you know it was because you had studied using a certain method. Reflecting on this activity and why it hap-pened will help you to reinforce those behaviors, and the happi-ness you experienced as a result, in the future.

Sure, this psychology is a bit new age-y. But I think it’s im-portant for us as college students to consider trying these kinds of mental exercises as much as we can. It’s not like anyone will know, because it all goes on in your head. I’m a big believer in the mind-body connection. So, if your mind is in a healthy place, it is much more likely that your body will be too. In fact, I per-sonally look at these therapies as forms of preventative medicine. If we can “train” ourselves to be happier early in life, I predict it will be easier for us to avoid ill-ness as we age.

Cheers to making ourselves happy.

You can reach this columnist at kbarrett@theeagleonline.com.

WHOLISTIC HEALTH

KELLY BARRETT

Building on strengths heightens happiness

n from RESIDENTS on page 5

By YOHANA DESTAEagle Staff Writer

When you put the biggest names in music under one roof, you’re bound to make history. Th at’s what this year’s 52nd Grammy Awards set out to do. No expenses were spared and the stars came out in their fi nest.

Never one to disappoint the fash-ion world, Lady Gaga wore a glitzy purple and silver gown covered with rings to give off a planetary eff ect. Another show-stopping look was Pink in a gray, mermaid-style gown. As far as fashion fl ops, Rihanna’s all-white, feather-laden gown was a far

cry from her usual rebel-chic look and failed to impress.

Opening the night was come-dian Stephen Colbert (who also won later that night for Best Com-edy Album) making typical jokes about religion and politics. In a hi-larious move, Colbert started the show announcing the “Song of the Year” award. Aft er a few awkward moments looking for the envelope, Colbert then gave a mysterious look to the audience and reached into his coat pocket.

“Oh I know, it’s on my iPad,” Colbert said, holding Apple’s new device.

He looked smugly at Jay-Z, jok-ing, “Did you not get one of these in

your gift bag?”But the most anticipated part

of the award show was the perfor-mances.

Lady Gaga took the stage in a glittering turquoise outfi t, fl anked by dancing fame monsters. Aft er singing “Poker Face,” the singer was thrown into a fl aming pit, only to reappear moments later seated at a grand piano. On the other side was none other than the tiny dancer himself, Sir El-ton John, donning a glitzy pair of oversized silver sunglasses.

“Take my picture, Hollywood. I wanna be a star!” Gaga yelled into the mic as the two launched into a duet of Gaga’s ballad, “Speechless,” eventually fl ow-ing into Elton’s classic love song, “Your Song.”

In a later performance, Be-yoncé stormed the stage in a fi erce black mini, fl anked by a small army of SWAT soldiers. She belted out “If I Were A Boy,” which turned into a cover of Ala-nis Morisette’s angsty hit song, “You Oughta Know.” It worked in that so-wrong-it’s-right way and set the bar higher for the night.

Another performer who ab-solutely outperformed was pop rocker, Pink. Although she didn’t win that night, the singer looked stunning in a long white robe, singing her slow love song, “Glit-ter In Th e Air.” She then stripped down to a glittering nude bodysuit and proceeded to do a breathtak-ing trapeze act — while wet.

In one of the most anticipated performances of the night, Celine Dion, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, Carrie Underwood and Smokey Robinson sang Michael Jackson’s nature ballad, “Earth Song.” Th e 3-D video in the background fea-tured a little girl walking through a lush green forest. Each singer

was better than the next, each imi-tating Michael Jackson’s screams and lift ing falsettos. Th e song was heartfelt, providing another re-minder of why Michael Jackson was the King of Pop; even with all the legendary singers onstage, none could out-sing Jackson, whose voice was played during certain parts of the song. Aft erwards, his children Prince Michael and Paris took the stage to thank the fans and accept his Lifetime Achievement Award.

In perhaps the second most im-portant award of the night, Taylor Swift won Album of the Year, which brought the total to four Grammys for the singer. Beyoncé won six, setting the record for most awards won in a single night by a female artist. Lady Gaga won two — one for her single “Poker Face” and the other for her debut album “Th e Fame,” both before the ceremony. Breakout stars MGMT and Kings of Leon also scooped up an award each that night.

Countless other awards were won by music vets, such as Judas Priest, while longtime musicians Imogen Heap and Jason Mraz won their fi rst ever Grammys. As usual, there were awkward moments and performance fumbles, but the show went on as smoothly as it could have. Here’s hoping next year will be even better.

You can reach this staff writer at ydesta@theeagleonline.com.

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By MICHAEL W. RICHARDSONEagle Staff Writer

Chances are, when you fl ip on your favorite sitcom or sketch comedy show, the people you’re watching and the people behind the scenes have some kind of for-mal comedy training. Th at doesn’t necessarily mean sitting in college lecture halls deconstructing what makes a joke funny. Oft en, it means an education from any number of comedy troupes around the coun-try.

One of the most famous theaters in this respect is the Upright Citi-zens Brigade, whose traveling im-prov artists performed four shows at the Harman Center for the Arts on Friday and Saturday.

UCB gained their fame in the ‘90s when they produced some of their most famous names — Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh, Horatio Sanz, Rob Corddry and Ed Helms are just a few. Since then, they’ve taught a countless amount of people the skills it takes to write and per-form comedy. Th eir theaters put on popular shows that continue to push the limits of comedy, making it both an established name and the defi nition of cutting edge.

Improv is unpredictable and er-ratic by defi nition. A show can be good or bad simply because of an inconvenient audience suggestion. Th is is what makes the performers such a wonder. Th e four performers on Saturday were from both UCB theaters in New York City and Los Angeles, but they interacted as if they had been riffi ng on these top-ics for years. Th e four-person squad was made up of Neil Casey, Jona-than Gabrus, Brandon Garner and

Fran Gillepsie, but despite the small group, a huge amount of imagina-tion was packed into the short 80-minute show.

Th e show started with a volun-teer from the audience off ering up his wallet to the crew in order to search through it for clues to his life. While Casey interviewed the subject, the three others went through the wallet piece by piece. In just a few minutes they were able to put together a few mildly interest-ing facts about the target (he brews his own beer, has a fi ancé who just graduated from law school, loves Xbox, etc.). Aft er a bit of teasing about his various hobbies, they let the volunteer go back to his seat and began the fi rst half of their set.

Using the bits of information they were able to collect, the team presented a rapid-fi re showcase of outrageous and absurd situations, some only tangentially related to their subject while others mir-rored his answers very closely. We were presented with an ignored husband, bitter about his wife’s dis-interest in his brewing blog. Th ere was a restaurant waiter who uses far too many references to “Anna Kar-enina” in his day-to-day life. And in a nice nod to the D.C. Metrorail, an extended riff on how dangerous it is to get home no matter what trans-portation you’re taking (“Didn’t you hear the news? Four trains collided this aft ernoon! I didn’t even know that was possible!”).

Aft er a half-hour taking off from this subject, the troupe broke off into their second half. Asking the audience for a single word to play off of, “penguin” fi nally won out as the topic for the rest of the show. Th is was an especially excellent

showcase for the group’s talents. Most people would consider an arctic bird a restriction. Instead, the scenes snowballed into more and more outrageous territory. A man whose cultural references are stuck in the ‘90s, according to his many T-shirts, is later brought back in a long-form joke about Eric Clapton’s baby. (Groans from the audience brought out one of the few fourth-wall breaks — Garner incredulously asked, “Too soon?”). Racism against super villains and pranking polar bears became the new norm, causing a relaxed audi-ence to become completely sucked into the free-fl owing ideas.

Both parts of the show highlight-ed all of the small things it takes to make a successful performance. Th e actors seemed to know exactly when to end each scene, with only a few awkward drops or prolonged silences. Th e audience lapped it up. Th e crowd was mostly in their late 20s to late 30s, and even on a snowy night the room was packed. Th e easy-going nature of the perform-ers put everyone at ease, creating a small space that refl ected a lot of warmth for the performers and the fans.

For any comedy fan, these few shows were not your only chance to see the group in action. Plans for monthly shows at the Harman have been established, giving anyone who might be interested in dipping their toes into the daunting world of improv a perfect opportunity to do so.

You can reach this staff writer at mrichardson@theeagleonline.com.

The Week in Fun: Know Your City

TUES 8 WED 9

The Magnetic Fields8 p.m.WHERE: George Washington Uni-versity Lisner Auditorium, 730 21st St. N.W.METRO: Foggy Bottom-GWU (blue and orange lines)INFO: Stephin Merritt’s music man-ages to perfectly blend abrasive distortion and synthetic sounds with a particular pop sensibility, all of which is on display when the Magnetic Fields play their shows.COST: $35CONTACT: For more information, call the Lisner Auditorium at 202-994-6800.

THURS 4 SUN 6

MON 7

Georgia O’Keefe: Abstraction10 a.m.WHERE: Th e Phillips Collection, 1600 21st St. N.W.METRO: Dupont Circle (red line)INFO: Th is new exhibit features over 100 paintings from O’Keefe, as well as early watercolors, charcoals and photographs of the artist by Alfred Stieglitz.COST: $12CONTACT: For more information, visit Th e Phillips Collection’s Web site at www.phillipscollection.org.

A Perfect Balance11:30 a.m.WHERE: National Gallery of Art, 401 Constitution Ave. N.W.METRO: Smithsonian (blue and or-ange lines)INFO: Actor and artist Kevin Reese put together this one-man show based on the mobiles of Alexander Calder. Th e show promised to be a fun time for both children and adults.COST: Free CONTACT: For more information, visit the National Gallery of Art’s Web site at www.nga.gov.

The Big Lebowski7:30 p.m.WHERE: Th e State Th eater, 220 North Washington St., Falls Church, Va.INFO: Joel and Ethan Coen’s come-dic masterpiece about bowling, ag-ing hippies and nihilism is a perfect showcase of their dark humor and deep pathos for leading men who are more schlubs than stars.COST: $3CONTACT: For more information, visit the State Th eater’s Web site at www.thestatetheater.com.

Shear Madness8 p.m.WHERE: Th e Kennedy Center, 2700 F St. N.W.METRO: Foggy Bottom-GWU (blue and orange lines)INFO: In this staged murder-mys-tery, the comic tone of the piece enters the audience as visitors are asked to help catch the killer from the comfort of their own seats.COST: $42CONTACT: For more information, visit Th e Kennedy Center’s Web site at www.kennedy-center.org.

Todd Barry9:45 p.m.WHERE: Arlington Cinema ‘N’ Draft house, 2903 Columbia Pike, Arlington, Va.METRO: Pentagon City (yellow and blue lines)INFO: Todd Barry’s cynical mono-tone and distinctive delivery has earned him a number of notable guest roles on television and fi lm, but his stand-up is still the proper showcase for his sarcastic stingers.COST: $20CONTACT: For more information, visit www.arlingtondraft house.com.

FRI 5

GOLDEN GIRLS — The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards were a night for the ladies with Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift sweeping the show. One of the most heartfelt moments of the night was when Michael Jackson’s chil-dren took to the stage to accept their father’s Lifetime Achievement Award.

ROBERT GAUTHIER / MCT CAMPUS

FUNNY PEOPLE — Famed theater comedy troupe Upright Citizens Brigade brought their off-kilter and absurdist sense of humor from New York and Los Angeles to the D.C. area despite the weekend fl urries.

Courtesy of UCB TOUR CO.

Troupe storms D.C.

52nd Grammys remember MJ, set new records

SPORTSANDREW TOMLINSON n Sports Editor

202.885.1404

FEBRUARY 4, 2010 8

Unfortunately for Indianapo-lis Colts fans, their elite quarter-back, Peyton Manning, will be unable to prevail over the New Orleans Saints and their stud Drew Brees.

Drew Brees has thrown for more than 4,300 yards four years in a row. Brees completed 70 percent of his passes in 2009. It was the eighth time in the last nine years that he has complet-ed more than 50 percent of his passes.

Early on in Brees’ career, many believed he would never be worth the second round pick that the San Diego Chargers used on him. In the 2002 sea-son, the first year Brees started all 16 games, he had a quarter-back rating of 76.9. In 2003 his rating decreased to 67.5.

In 2006, the Chargers let Brees go and the talented QB signed with the Saints. In his time with the Saints, Brees averaged over 4,500 passing yards and has led his team to it first Super Bowl in franchise history.

On the other side we have the man who seems to be in ev-ery commercial in the last five years, Peyton Manning. The list of Manning’s accomplish-ments is long. He just won his record fourth MVP award. He is a former Super Bowl MVP and has the record for most seasons with over 4,000 yards passing. In his 12-year career, Manning has thrown for 4,000 yards 10 times.

One of these quarterbacks has to win. In reality though, it will come down to which de-fense can come up with a big stop late in the game. That is why the Saints will take home their first Lombardi Trophy in team history.

The Colts’ top defensive play-er, end Dwight Freeney, injured his ankle in the AFC Champi-onship game against the New York Jets. The severe ligament

tear may sideline the five-time Pro Bowler for the big game and even if he does play, he is expect-ed to be severely limited. With-out his presence the defense will be severely weakened.

Freeney has been wrecking havoc on opposing quarterbacks since he entered the league in 2002. The man is a freak of na-ture. Freeney is the best defen-sive player on the Colts and the team will not be able to replace his productivity.

Both of these teams will put on a show. It wouldn’t be sur-prising to see a showing like we did in week one of the playoffs between the Green Bay Packers and Arizona Cardinals. Both teams combined to score 96 points in that game.

In the end, the loss of Free-ney’s production will be too much for the Colts’ defense to overcome. Drew Brees and the Saints’ offense will run wild and this year’s Fat Tuesday will come a few days early in the big easy.Prediction: Saints 35, Colts 28

You can reach this writer at sports@theeagleonline.com

Th e Indianapolis Colts traveled to Miami, Fla., three years ago and won their second Super Bowl. Th is year, they’ll return to the same stadium and defeat the New Orleans Saints in Super Bowl XLIV.

When making an argument for the Colts, two words could suffi ce: Peyton Manning. Manning capped another stellar season by winning a record-setting fourth NFL Most Valuable Player Award.

What separates No. 18 from the rest of the quarterbacks in the league is his meticulous preparation and ability to adjust when things are go-ing badly. Th e AFC Championship Game against the New York Jets was a perfect example of Manning’s prowess.

Th e Jets’ defense shut down Man-ning and the Colts in their fi rst two off ensive series and led 17-6 late in

the second quarter. Trailing by 11, the Colts fi nal drive of the half was vintage Manning, as he took India-napolis 80 yards in four plays for a touchdown.

Manning would fi nish with 377 yards and three touchdowns and the Colts would outscore the Jets 17-0 in the second half. Th e second-half surge punched their Super Bowl ticket.

One would assume that Reg-gie Wayne and Dallas Clark were the benefi ciaries of Manning’s pro-fi ciency. However, it was former sixth-round pick Pierre Garcon who set an AFC Championship game re-cord with 11 receptions to go along with 151 yards and one touchdown. Rookie Austin Collie turned in a great performance of his own with seven catches for 123 yards and one touchdown.

Th e Saints’ defense will try and attack Manning the same way he ha-rassed Brett Favre in the NFC Cham-pionship Game. Th e diff erence is that Manning will get the ball out quickly to one of his many weapons and not force dangerous throws.

With two weeks to prepare, the Colts’ off ense has almost an unfair advantage. Expect Indy to light up

the South Florida scoreboard all night long.

In the regular season, they ranked eighth in points allowed per game and were in the top half of the league in both sacks and interceptions. No one will confuse the Colts’ defense with the 2000 Baltimore Ravens, but they are no longer a detriment to the team.

Another key factor is the team’s attitude heading into the game. In-dianapolis is determined to silence the pundits who criticized them for forgoing a chance at an undefeated season by resting their starters. New Orleans, meanwhile, seems to just be happy to be in the Super Bowl.

With all the hype surrounding it, the Super Bowl is more of an event than a football game. Th e Colts veter-ans from the 2006 team know how to deal with the hectic atmosphere. Th e same cannot be said for the Saints.

Th e Colts’ imminent victory over the Saints in Super Bowl XLIV will give them their second Lombardi Trophy in the past four years. Prediction: Indianapolis 34, New Or-leans 21

You can reach this writer at sports@theeagleonline.com.

FACE OFF

BEN LASKY

FACE OFF

TYLER TOMEA

The great debate: who will win the Super Bowl?

By KATE GRUEBELEagle Staff Writer

Each year, 64 teams make it to the opening round of the NCAA Tournament, granting their schools national media exposure. This kind of exposure cannot be bought, only won through sweat, tears and baskets.

The benefits of this exposure for budding schools like AU? Priceless, according to Athletic Director Keith Gill.

“Being on CBS during Prime-time last year for [AU] is probably the exposure that we can’t really buy,” Gill said. “During that en-tire broadcast they talked about what a great school [AU] is, great academics … all the good things we are doing.”

Three areas Gill believes have been positively affected by AU’s exposure in the NCAA Tourna-ment are alumni relations, re-cruitment and enrollment.

Despite a proven positive link between college basketball suc-cess and alumni donations, Gill did not mention an increase in alumni donations due to the Ea-gles’ success in the tournament. Instead, he spoke of the tourna-ment as a chance for alumni to rally behind their alma mater.

“It’s wonderful if you walk into work one day and your col-league’s are like, ‘Oh my gosh, I saw your alma mater on TV, and they played Villanova tough.’ Ob-viously that is going to be appeal-ing to the [alumni].”

Knowing this appeal, Gill said AU improved its alumni relations over the last two years and will continue.

From a recruiting standpoint, Gill said “success breeds suc-cess.”

“If you’re a recruit, and you see the people rushing the floor at Bender, and you see the excite-ment, and just how fun and what a great atmosphere that was, I think it would be hard for you to not to want to come to school here,” Gill said.

Exposure from the NCAA

Tournament has also allowed AU to broaden their recruiting hori-zons.

“I think that our recruit-ing is probably getting looks by prospective students that may-be would not have looked at us in the past, because they know about our success from an NCAA standpoint,” Gill said.

AU has not conducted research on the effects of the NCAA Tour-nament on recruiting. However, Gill said the impact of tourna-ment exposure will be seen over the next few years and he is al-ready pointing to the current tal-ent on the men’s basketball team as evidence.

Regarding enrollment and the number of applicants to AU, Gill and Greg Grauman, the director of admissions, agree that there has been no significant connec-tion between the NCAA Tourna-ment and the number of appli-cants.

“It’s difficult to measure the degree to which the success of the men’s basketball team has contributed to an increase in ap-plications,” Grauman said. “How-ever, any time the university re-ceives positive nationwide media exposure, it is a benefit to our recruitment efforts. We proudly promote the successes of all our athletic achievements to our pro-spective students.”

According to application counts from the Department of Admissions, the number of ap-plications received has decreased since a high of 15,849 in 2007. Nevertheless, Grauman said the university received more then 16,800 applications for fall 2010. A final count has yet to be re-leased.

Despite no blatant correlation between NCAA exposure and the number of applicants to AU, Gill said the tournament has helped with enrollment. The tournament takes place in March, which is around the same time regular ap-plicants receive their acceptance letters.

“The NCAA tournament comes around right when peo-ple are making their admissions decisions,” Gill said. “If you’re thinking about going to Ameri-can or Colby or what have you, and all of a sudden you decide, ‘OK, I’m going to go to American’ because you see all these positive images.”

According to Gill, successful men’s basketball seasons have been one of many factors assist-ing the university in meeting en-rollment goals.

“I think that men’s basketball success sends positive and pow-erful messages that have helped the institution meet some of its goals in terms of matriculates,” Gill said.

Having become accustomed to the benefits of NCAA Tourna-ment exposure, the Eagles’ cur-rent conference standing, 4-2, could jeopardize a third consecu-tive trip to the tournament.

From an admissions stand-point, Grauman does not think prospective students determine whether to enroll solely on the strength of the university’s ath-letics.

“The students who choose to enroll at AU are a diverse group

who bring to our community varied interests and life experi-ences,” Grauman said. “I don’t believe the win-loss record of any AU athletic team will sig-nificantly impact whether or not most admitted students choose to enroll.”

On the other hand, Gill said the athletic department believes the team will go to the tour-nament, a belief that does not change season to season.

“We are hopeful and we are preparing in the same ways that we prepared last year so that when the time comes we are re-ally able to take advantage of it,” Gill said. “And be sure that we maximize the opportunity for the institution.”

While the two sides, athlet-ics and admissions, differ, both agree that AU’s participation in the NCAA Tournament has had a positive effect on the university. One step in continuing the good media exposure is for AU to make the NCAA Tournament again. To do that though, the Eagles first must beat Lehigh University on Saturday.

You can reach this writer at sports@theeagleonline.com.

RAISING THE BAR — Nick Hendra goes up for a layup in AU’s loss to Villanova University in the NCAA Tournament last year. It was the Eagles’ second straight bid to the tournament. There is great debate about whether or not AU’s participation in the tournament helped admissions.

PHILLIP OCHS / EAGLE FILE PHOTO

Men’s success helps AU

Just over half way through the NBA season, the story lines seem much the same as they were last year at this same time, with Leb-ron James and his Cleveland Cav-aliers favored to play Kobe Bry-ant and his Los Angeles Lakers.

After falling in the playoffs last season, the Cavaliers went out and signed Shaquille O’Neal. The goal of brining him in was to help LeBron win the elusive champi-onship ring. Despite Shaq’s nu-merous injury problems and lack of playtime, LeBron has the Cav-aliers in firm control of the top spot in the Eastern Conference.

Not only do the Cavs look to be in control; they just completed the season sweep of the Lakers.

Trailing the Cavs is the group of teams that have been behind them the last few years. The Or-lando Magic sit five and a half games back but are struggling with injuries. It looks as if they could fall off the radar at any-time, unless the streaky Vince Carter can pull his act together.

Both the Atlanta Hawks and Boston Celtics are a game back of the Magic. Atlanta, after jump-ing out to the best start in team history, has fallen into a season of mediocrity. As for the Celt-ics, Boston is starting to look a lot like Florida, as half the team seems to be on the edge of retire-ment. After making blockbuster deals to acquire Kevin Garnett and Ray Allan several season ago, the Celtics have not made many moves to get younger. The lack of youth is finally catching up with

them.As for the West, it is down

to a two-pony race. The Lakers are créme de la créme, but that is no surprise, as they are every year. Kobe continues to lead the charge for the Lakers, while get-ting support from the likes of Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum, Lamar Odom and offseason acquisition Ron Artest.

In the second position lies the Denver Nuggets. They trail the Lakers by three and look like they have a good enough team to challenge the Lakers. Add in the fact that the Nuggets are the hot-test team in the NBA, winning 10 of their last 12, and things look good in the Rocky Mountains. Not only are they winning, they are doing it without All-Star Car-melo Anthony.

After the Nuggets the West drops off a bit with Dallas, Utah, San Antonio, Portland and Phoe-nix more than six games out of

first place. These teams are some of the most likely teams to make a move to improve at the dead-line.

There is no bigger player on the market than the Phoenix Suns’ stud center Amare Stou-demire. He will be done with the Suns after this season because of his expiring contract. As a result, the team is looking to move his massive contract off their books in hopes of trading for another big name.

As the All-Star break and stretch run are on the horizon, the NBA looks to be setting itself up for another superb final two months. The next months will see teams jockey for a top spot in the playoffs. After that is finished, the only thing left in the season is the battle royal for the title of World Champions.

You can reach this writer at sports@theeagleonline.com.

While Yankees fans celebrated in the streets, some fans began hoping their team’s next season was better than last, while others were left scratching their heads follow-ing the moves — or lack of moves — made by management.

Th is off season had two major themes. Th e fi rst was the rich got richer. Most of the major moves involved playoff s team from last year, starting with the defending champion Yankees. Th ey made a big splash by acquiring All-Star outfi elder Curtis Granderson in a three-team deal involving the De-troit Tigers and Arizona Diamond-backs. Th e Yankees signed fi rst baseman Nick Johnson, re-signed starter Andy Pettitte and traded for starting pitcher Javier Vazquez. Despite losing World Series MVP Hideki Matsui to the Los Angeles Angels and failing to sign Johnny Damon yet, the Yankees still ap-pear to be the team to beat.

As for their World Series foe, the Philadelphia Phillies shook the baseball world with one move. It was the trade everyone had been waiting for, the one where Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Roy Halladay was fi nally moved. Despite Cliff Lee’s dominating performance through-out the playoff s, the Phillies refused to be intimidated by the Yankees and brought in arguably the best pitcher in the majors. In a four-way deal, the Phillies brought in Halla-day and parted ways with Lee.

Another Yankee rival, the Red Sox also made eff orts to bolster their squad. Th e Red Sox went out and signed star pitcher John Lackey to a fi ve-year deal and then gave deals to veteran outfi elders Mike Cameron and Adrian Bel-tre. Other playoff teams from 2009 made moves as well, with the St. Louis Cardinals re-signing Matt Holliday, the Angels signing Joel Pineiro and the Los Angeles Dodg-ers exercised the option on Manny Ramirez’s contract.

Th e second theme of the MLB off season was the economy’s ap-parent eff ect on signings. Proven veterans are having to choose be-tween a one-year deal or continu-ing to remain on the free agent market.

Former All-Stars, such as out-fi elder Vlad Guerrero, pitcher Ben Sheets, outfi elder Hideki Matsui, designated hitter Jim Th ome and catcher Bengie Molina all accepted one-year off ers. Others are still out there waiting, including outfi elder Johnny Damon, infi elder Orlando Hudson, outfi elder Jermaine Dye, fi rst baseman Carlos Delgado and pitcher Pedro Martinez. While all of these players have talent, con-cerns over age and injuries have prevented some teams from throw-ing years of investment into these players. With contracts in baseball, unlike the NFL where they are guaranteed, teams cannot aff ord to

make poor investments. Some terrible teams have taken

this opportunity to sign players who would normally not be at-tracted to play on these teams. Th e Washington Nationals were able to sign starter Jason Marquis and catcher Pudge Rodriguez, and the Nats are the favorite to sign Hud-son. Despite the team possessing a rather pedestrian roster, they understand that money has to be spent to get fans to the ballpark.

While not as bad as Washing-ton, the perennial underachiev-ing Kansas City Royals were able to sign outfi elder’s Scott Podsed-nik and Rick Ankiel. Meanwhile, the Baltimore Orioles obtained pitcher Mike Gonzalez, third base-man Garrett Atkins and infi elder Miguel Tejada. Hopefully for the O’s, this will help create more of an even playing fi eld in a league where big markets tend to dominate.

Aft er all of the moves, the Se-attle Mariners are the team that came out on top. A sure sign of a good team is one that can develop its own players and then make the necessary trades as well as signings to bring around star players.

Th e Mariners appear on the right track. Seattle re-signed stud pitcher Felix Hernandez and brought in playoff star Lee. Th at one-two top of the rotation is certainly one of the best in the MLB. Th row in the signing of third baseman Chone Figgins for four years, the re-sign-ing of both DH Ken Griff ey Jr. and shortstop Jack Wilson and the re-lease of the disaster that is catcher Kenji Johjima, the Mariners are immediately in contention in the American League West.

On the other end of the spec-trum sit the New York Mets. While half of the New York fans are still celebrating their 27th ring, Mets fans are instead shaking their heads in shock. In an off season fi lled with hope and promise, the Mets leave with Jason Bay and a myriad of mi-nor league contracts.

Because the team refused to throw money at pitcher Joel Pinei-ro, the Mets wound up with pitcher Josh Fogg, catcher Chris Coste, pitcher Elmer Dessens and utility player Fernando Tatis. Th at sounds like a quality Triple-A team, but it will not cut it in a market like New York. General Manager Omar Minaya and owner Jeff Wilpon continue to hold their dollars and as a result the Mets have become an aft erthought.

As pitchers and catchers prepare to report to camp and the fi nal free agents are signed, only one thing is for certain: it is a long season. It will be 162 games before we know who truly had a good off season. As of right now however, the fans of orange and blue in New York should brace for a rough season and the teal and gray faithful in Se-attle should have lots of optimism.

You can reach this writer at sports@theeagleonline.com.

SIDELINE SCHOLAR

ELLIOT JEFFORDS

No parody in NBA season

Mets among losers of MLB offseason

OVER THE WALLMATT LAFEMINA