the essential stress survival guide

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The Essential Stress The Essential Stress Survival Guide Survival Guide www.life-without-limits.co

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An interactive 1/2 day seminar on Surviving stress. What is Stress? What are its effects? What are the differences between men and women? How do you manage/ Reduce/ Eliminazte stress?

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The Essential Stress The Essential Stress Survival GuideSurvival Guide

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Mark SuttonMark SuttonLife-Coach. Life Without Limits.

(http://www.life-without-limits.co)

Facebook Page: Life Without Limits

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Start With The End In MindStart With The End In MindInteractive introduction to Stress

and Stress management. Raise Awareness.

Definition, Response, Symptoms.Men versus Women. Common sources of Stress.Perceptions, Thoughts and Stress. Beliefs, Values and Roles.Managing and Reducing Stress.

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Defining StressDefining StressMost accepted Definition: “Stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.”

Is Stress all bad?Good Stress: Challenges and threats

Bad stress: Too much Acute stress/ Episodic Acute Stress. Chronic Stress. 90% of all doctors visits are stress related

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The Stress ResponseThe Stress ResponseHardwired Evolutionary Response. Flight or

Fight.

Stress Hormones: Cortisol and Adrenaline.

Any perceived threat to our comfort/wellbeing.www.life-without-limits.co

Signs and SymptomsSigns and SymptomsPhysical Behavioural

Raised cholesterol: Heart disease.

High Blood pressure: Strokes. Headache, Nausea, Dizziness. Asthma, Skin Problems. Muscular pain (lower back),

Clenched Jaws, Grinding Teeth.

Tight or Dry throat, Pounding heart, Increased Perspiration.

Appetite change: Weight Loss or Gain, Diabetes

Indigestion, Stomach Cramps, Peptic ulcer, Constipation, Diarrhoea.

Sleep disturbance: Fatigue

Depression, Mood swings

Withdrawal, Isolation, Loss of Interest in Self.

Negative feelings.Easily Irritated/

Angered .De-motivation.Difficulty Concentrating

or Thinking.Diminished/Increased

Sex Drive.Increase in Smoking

and use of Alcohol or drugs.

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Men V WomenMen V WomenGreatest Stressor: Relationship loss in Women, Performance failure in Men. (Self-Esteem).

Women: Oxytocin (calming). Tend and Befriend.

Men: No Oxytocin, bottling feelings and emotions and withdrawal and closing off.

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Signs and SymptomsSigns and Symptoms

Exercise: Signs of Stress.Not a medical questionnaire.Add up the number of “a” answers.It is an indication of areas where stress

management techniques may be useful.

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Lifestyle StressLifestyle StressAreas in Life where Stress Occurs.

Workplace Stress.Relationship Stress: Family/ Friends.Relationship Stress: Intimate .Financial Stress.Personality Trait Stress.

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Manage and Eliminate Manage and Eliminate StressStress

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Stress ManagementStress ManagementChanging your response:Attitudes and Behaviours.Increasing awareness.Immediate Effects:Staying Calm.Talk it out.Escape.Managing Current Stress:Communication , Conflict Resolution.Work /Life Balance, Peer Support.Planning and Organising .Time and workload management. Relaxation, Health, Lifestyle.

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PerceptionPerceptionIs Stress Internal or External?Stress is most commonly internal: Perception

Perception based on thoughts.Values/Beliefs/Attitude/Life Experience.Roles.Relationships and responsibilities.

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What do

What do you see?

There's a face... and the word liar

What do

What do you see?

Which of the centre circles are the biggest?

they're both the same size

Which of the centre circles are the biggest?

What does the sign say?

Beliefs, Values and Roles.Beliefs, Values and Roles.Beliefs connect us to the world

(Ideological).Values derived from Beliefs (Societal).Roles: Relationships and

Responsibilities.Which is more important? Values

dictating your Roles, or Roles dictating your values.

“Your beliefs beget your values which beget your roles”

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ExerciseExercisePrioritise your Values on the values wheel.

List and Prioritise your Roles.Do you bring your values into your roles?Is this a source of Stress?What do you need to do to match the value

and role?What action are you going to undertake to do

this?What could stop you doing it?When are you going to do it?

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Feelings and EmotionsFeelings and EmotionsBoth sensations experienced.Feelings: external stimuli, Emotions:

from the mind.Feelings :physical sensations and

mental states (reaction to a thought).Feelings: Often temporary, subside

once the stimulus is no longer present. Emotions Long term: Years.

False Evidence Appearing Real

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Emotional IntelligenceEmotional IntelligenceAware of your emotions: In control

of them, rather than controlling you.

Its the ability to recognise and manage your feelings and those of others.

Daniel Goldman:IQ 20% success work. 1% in life.The rest is Emotional Intelligence and

environment.

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Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence

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1. Self Awareness – emotional self awareness, accurate self assessment, self confidence

2. Relationship Management –

inspirational leadership, influence, developing others, change catalyst, conflict management, building bonds, teamwork and collaboration

3. Self Management – emotional self

control, transparency, adaptability, achievement, initiative, optimism

4. Social Awareness – empathy,

organizational awareness, service

Changing Your ThinkingChanging Your Thinking

Responsible for own feelings and change your Perceptions

60,000 thoughts/day, 85% repeated, 45% Negative – old habits

New thinking requires awareness of the old thinking!

Self-Perception is Key – Always have Choice!

Listen to your self talk

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Behaviours Responses

Emotions AttitudesMotivations

Perception, Beliefs, Values, Purpose

Feelings

The Scoping processThe Scoping processStep 1: FAST FREEZING.Step 2: OBSERVING AND NOTICING.Step 3: RECORDING.Step 4: INTERRUPTING.Step 5: CHOOSING.Step 6: NOTICING.Step 7: LEARNING.

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ExerciseExercise Call To Mind a Stressful experience:Write down

The facts of the situation or event. What you were thinking. What you were feeling.  The physical symptoms you experienced. Write down what you would do differently.

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AttitudeAttitudeOur way of approaching life and is how we express our thoughts and feelings.

The one thing we can change about ourselves.

Its when things go wrong that we gain a clear picture of the type of attitude we have.

Success in life is 85% attitude and 15% Aptitude (Harvard Study)

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PessimismPessimism

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Benefits of OptimismBenefits of OptimismHealthier.Greater Achievement.Persistence.Emotional Health.Increased Longevity.Less Stress.

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PerfectionismPerfectionism

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Stress and ChangeStress and ChangeFear of change: Failure and

Success, Unknown.The 4 C’s: Comfort

(passive),Challenge (active), Creative (active), Content (Passive)

Change is a threat= StressChinese 2 symbols for Crisis:

Danger. Opportunity.

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Managing ChangeManaging ChangeHealthy Lifestyle/ Know yourself.Identify, Accept and be Open.Deal with what you can now, Be

patient.Make room/ Practice Flexibility.Anticipate change – plan adequately.See the big picture.Grieve.Seek advice from others.Learn what’s offered from change.

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Work/Life BalanceWork/Life BalanceWork/Life Balance exercise.

Select one area that the answer was true or pretty true.What answer would you like to have (if

any)?List what action(s) you are going to

undertake to do this?What could stop you doing it?When are you going to do it?How will you know it has been completed?

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CommunicationCommunication

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CommunicationCommunicationWhy Is effective communication important?

When is Communication Effective?Relationship between sender and receiver

good.Clear objectives.Few distractions.Good sending and receiving.Eye contact .Speech is clear.

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CommunicationCommunicationSending Skills:

7% Words.38% Tone of Voice.55% Body language.

Sending Skills:What, When, Where and How (Tone, Strength,

Pitch, Speed).Use appropriate words, be clear, concise and

simple.Use eye contact and be aware of your facial

expressions.Be aware of your body language.

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CommunicationCommunicationIs Talking or Listening more Important?

Seek first to understand.We are far more likely to get others to listen if we listen

fully to their viewpoint.Exercise: What type of listener are you?To do’s.

Put the talker at ease.Limit your own talk/be patient/don’t interrupt.Remove distractions be attentive and Focused.Be non-judgemental, sincere and genuine.Be aware of body language.

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Manage and Eliminate Manage and Eliminate StressStress

Effective Communication/ Conflict ResolutionAssertive Communication.Listening. Give in Occasionally.Take one Thing at a time.Go Easy with Criticism.Respond to criticism with empathy.Make yourself available.Take a time out.

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Manage and Eliminate StressManage and Eliminate StressEffective strategies for handling Conflict.Stay focused on current conflict.Try to see their point of view.Take responsibility for what’s yours.Use “I” messages.Look for Compromise/ Solution.Don’t give up.Ask for help if you need it.Get in touch with your feelings.Know when its not working.

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How to manage and How to manage and Eliminate stressEliminate stress

Time ManagementGoal Setting.Planning.Prioritising.Organising.Take one Thing at a time .

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Time ManagementTime ManagementPlanning

On course to achieving goals and objectives.Planning is the difference between being

REACTIVE and PROACTIVE. Set priorities.Reduce stress.1 minute planning, gain 10 in execution.

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Time ManagementTime ManagementDaily Planning

Plan your day the night before

Make a list of “Have To” do and “Want to” do.

Execute the most important task in the first 90 minutes of the workday.

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Time ManagementTime ManagementPrioritise using the ABCDE System.A) Very important, must be done or face serious

consequences. (subcategories A1, A2, A3 etc.).B) Tasks you should do, failure gives minor

consequences. Finish A Tasks first.C) Something that would be Nice to do. No

consequences if you should fail.D) Delegate as much as you can so you can

concentrate on all the A tasks.E) Eliminate, it makes no difference if this task is

ever done.www.life-without-limits.co

Manage and Eliminate Manage and Eliminate Stress.Stress.

Handle your WorkloadCommitments within limits and review.Don’t overpromise.Vary your work routine.Take breaks.Set limits.Shun the superman urge.

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Manage and Eliminate Manage and Eliminate StressStress

Peer supportSocial Group.Circle of Friends.Cultivating a

Network.www.menssheds.ie

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Manage and Eliminate Manage and Eliminate StressStress

Staying HealthyDiet.Exercise

regularly.Sleep.Sex.Relaxation.

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RelaxationRelaxationEffects

Safety valveStress reducerRelieves fatigue Promotes sleepAllows us to be calmerGives us time for ourselves

Four characteristics common to all effective Relaxation techniques.Quiet environment, passive attitude, comfortable

position, constant stimulus.www.life-without-limits.co

The Two Minute Stress The Two Minute Stress BusterBuster

Deep Breathing:Calms. Relaxes.Present.

Guided exercise:

www.fragrantheart.com

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SummarySummaryStress is a Hardwired evolutionary response.Chronic stress is a major factor contributing

to illness.Stress is internal and based on perceptions.Stress occurs in all aspects of life and can be

personality related.Stress management involves:

Dealing with the feeling immediately, staying present.

Managing and reducing stress by changing to a healthy, balanced lifestyle, Planning and effective Communication and conflict resolution skills.

Changing attitudes and behaviours that cause stress Increasing awareness and your response to stressors

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THANK YOUTHANK YOU

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