the everyday guide to world peace_v1.1
TRANSCRIPT
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 1
The Everyday Guide To
PEACEWORLD
“1 question, a world of
difference”
presents
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 2
WORLD PEACE STARTS WITH EACH
AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL OUT THERE.
WITH THE CREATION OF PEACE WITHIN OURSELVES, IN OUR
RELATIONSHIPS AND BY MAKING A CONSCIOUS AND COMPASSIONATE EFFORT
TO LET THIS PEACE SPREAD.
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU IN A NUTSHELL:
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 3
TABLE OF CONTENT
• The(R)evolutionofPeace• How1PersonCanChangeTheWorld• ALittleSmileGoesALongWay• CreatingPeaceInYourOwnWorld• QuestionForPeace#1:HowIsItToBeMe?• QuestionForPeace#2:HowIsItToBeYou?• MakingPeaceAHabitAndAVerb• AboutTheProject.AboutLinda
BEFORE WE STARTThere’snodoubtwecangointolengthydebatesoverwhatittakestomakeworldpeacehappen!
Howitisanaiveillusion.Howitwillrequireasignificantchangeineconomic,politicalandeducationalstructuresandsystems.Howpeoplearetoostupidandstubborn.Howyouneedtobeinthetop1%toevenmakeadent.
Andtobehonest,Iagreewithyouonallthesepoints...
Butremindme,WHYshouldweletthesethingsstopus?
Becausedoesn’tworldpeacestartwitheachandeveryindividualoutthere?Withthecreationofpeace,joyandhappinesswithinourselves,inourrelationshipsandbymakingaconsciousandcompassionateefforttoletthispeace,joyandhappinessspread?
ThisguidewasnotwrittentobitterlyspewoneverythingthatweorImight
judgeaswrongintheworld.Itdoesnotpointfingersnorblameothers.
Neitheristhereanyhiddenpolitical,philosophical,religious,economic,commercialorevenspiritualagenda.
Instead,thisguideaimstoigniteawayofthinking,feeling,communicating,andactingthatmightbedifferentandnewtosomeofus.Awaythatincorporatesmoremeaningandmoreconnectionbetweentheleftandrighthemisphereofthebrain.
Andawaythatwillultimatelybringmoreloveandmorepeace.
Firsttoyourinnerworld.Second,toyourouterworld.Andfinally,totheworldasawhole.
Welcome...totheeverydayguidetoWorldPeace!
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Idon’tknowaboutyou,butI’vealwaysfeltlikeIwassickorskippingschoolthedaytheyhandedoutthemanualtolife...
Yes,therearereligions,politicalsystems,andphilosophies...but...these,asamanual,canbeabittoocomplicatedandtoodetachedfromtheessenceofwhatweashumanbeingsreallywant:
LOTofroomforimprovement...
Becauseweoftendonotexperiencepeaceandjoyinourminds,hearts,andlives,andourheartsbreakintoamillionpieceseverytimeweswitchonthenews...
Sowhatthen?Howtocreatemoreinnerpeacewhilstkeepingitsimple?Howtocreatemoreharmonywithoutforcingdisciplineanddogma?Howtocreateworldpeacewhilstcelebratingeverybody’suniquebeing?
Ifthere’sanythingtolearnfromthestatetheworldisintoday,it’sthatthe‘typical’-shakefistsinangerandoverthrowthegovernment-typeofrevolutionisNOTthesolution.
Soifwhatwe’vedoneinthepast
doesn’twork...theonlylogicalstepforwardistodosomethingdifferent...Somethingthatinvolveslessangerandviolence.Somethingthat’smorelovingandcaring.Somethingthat’smoreinsideoutandgrassrootsup.Morefocusedonthelongterm.Moreus for us,insteadofus versus them.Moreevolution,insteadofrevolution.
Imagineforasecondwhatcouldhappenifwealllearnedtodealwithourandotherpeople’semotionsmoreeffectively.Ifwewereabletoact,react,andsensefromaspaceoflove,compassion,andempathy.Ifwefiguredoutaworldinwhichwesupporteachotherinhardshipsinsteadofmakingthemworse.
Notbecauseit’s‘polite’,butbecausewerealizethateveryotherbeingisworthyofthesametreatmentwe’dliketoreceiveourselves.
Don’tyouthinkthatifwe’reabletomakethishappenonasmallscale...firstwithintheconfinesofourownheadsandheartsandsecondlywithinthemicroworldofourdailylivesandrelationships...andbydoingsoinspireotherstodothesame...don’tyouthinkthiscanultimatelyspreadandbringpeacetothewholewideworld?
Peace in ourselves, leads to peace in our lives, leads to peace in the world...
WHEN IN A HURRY
Ifyoudon’tfeellikereadingthewholeguideyoucaneasilygetthepointbyreadingthisandthepreviouspageandskimmingthe(sub)titlesandcoloredballoons.
Iwould,however,urgeyoutodotheexercisesandassignments;experiencesaddtounderstandingsomuchbetterthantheory!
THE (R)EVOLUTION
OF PEACE
Ofcourse‘worldpeace’willneverlooklikeallofushappilyskippingbarefootthroughdaisy-strewnfields...But,lookingattheworldtoday,I’msurewecanallagreethatthere’sa
To live a lovely and happy life in which we are in harmony with ourselves and everyone and everything around us.
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If 1 bus driver’s early morning happiness can easily brighten the lives of 30 odd people...just imagine what else is possible...
HOW 1 PERSON CAN CHANGE THE WORLD
Ifyou’veeverbeenonadailycommuteyouknowhowallthosemorningsseemtoblendintoone.
Itwasononeofthoseearlyandblahmorningsacoupleofyearsback,whenIsteppedonthebusanddutifullythrewasleepysmileatthedriverwhenhesurprisedmebysaying:
“Wow, now that’s a smile that could wake up the world!”
Helookedatmewithasmilesobigandsosincerethatmyfirstinstinctwasnottotrusthim.Imean,who’severheardofsomeonebeingsoutterlyandcompletelyhappyandhonest(whilstsober)at7a.m.?
But...I’mnotonetodiscardacomplimentsoIsmiledbackand
foundaseatnottoofarbehindhim.
Muchtomysurprise,hewasequallykindtoeverypersonthatsteppedontothebusandawfullyfunnythroughout.Forexample,whilstslowingdowninfrontofahighschoolhesaid(overtheintercom)tothegroupsulkyandangstyteenageboysgettingreadytostepout:
“Remember boys, it’s the one that smiles that gets the girls!”
Ifitwasn’tyetonthere;letsittingonabusfilledwithgrumpymorningcommutersfull-heartedlycrackingupdefinitelybeontopofyourbucketlist!
Thoughtheboysthemselveswerelessamused,forme,thatmorningwasaturningpoint.
Nottobecomeacomedian.Orbeincrediblysocial.Orbesuperpolite.Becausethatwasn’twhatthebusdriverwasdoingeither;hewasjust...happy.Andjoyful.
Andhehadsomuchjoyandhappinessinhimthatitspilledovertotheentirebus.
AndI’mpositivethateverysinglepersononthebustoldthatstoryatworkandathome...spreadingthejoyevenfurther.
• Haveyoueverbeenblownawaybysomeone’sutterlysincerejoyandhappiness?
• Howdidthatexperienceaffectyou?
• Whatdoyouthinktheworldwouldlooklikeifweallgottoexperiencethatfairlysimplefeelingmoreoften?
QUESTIONS TO PONDER ON...
All because this 1 guy woke up happy and wasn’t afraid to share it!
Itwasthisexperience,thisgiantinsight,thattaughtmethat1singlepersoncanmakeaverypositiveandlastingdentintheworld.
Andmostofall,thatthat’ssomethingworthstrivingfor.
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The key to world peace is compassion. In whatever way, shape or form. Even...if it’s just a simple smile to a stranger...
A LITTLE SMILE GOES A LONG WAY
Beforewegettothe-howintheheckdowecreatethatpeace,joy,andsincerehappinessinourselves?-bitoftheguide,let’sfirsttakethetimetobowourheadstohowdifficultitistocomeupwiththesepositiveexamples.And,bowevendeeperbecausethebadexamplesseemtobeawholeloteasiertorecall...
LikethetimeIoverhearda(drunk)Westernwomancalla5-yearoldboysellingbraceletsinthestreetsofKuta,Baliat3a.m.a“disgustinglittlerat”...
OrwhenIheardthatCongolese
rebels(Iwasthereforwork)hadcutoffthehands,feet,andheadsof6gorilla’s.Justtomakeastatement...
Youknowtheexamples...theonesthatpunchyoustraightinthegut.Thatmakeyouwanttorunandhide.Thatmakeyouquestionallthatyou
areandwonderifthere’sanyhopeleftforhumanity.
It’sexperienceslikethese(letsforthesakeofsimplicity,notevengetstartedonwars,terrorism,andwhatnot)thatmakeusinsecure
aboutwhoweare.
Itmakesusputupourguards,dropoureyeswhenwe
crossastrangerinthestreetandbecomewaryofthepeoplewebefriend.
It’sseverelylimitingthejoywefeelinourselvesandit’sdefinitelynotaddingtousspreadingthelovebug.
Luckily,ourfriendthebusdriverhastaughtusexactlyhowtobreakoutofthatnegativecycle:withcompassion.
“An act of compassion
doesn’t have to be big, bold and costly; it can be as simple
as 1 smile”
A compassionate person is one that empathizes with the physical and/or emotional suffering of others and aims to help that person any which way they can.
Any.Which.Way.
Thatmeansthatanactofcompassiondoesn’thavetobeasbigandboldaswethinktheyneedtobe...Itdoesn’tneedtoinvolvedonatinglotsoftime,
energyandmoney...
Itcanbeassimpleassteppingasideonthepavement...Orbringingyourstressedoutcolleaguesomechamomiletea...Orbeingnicetothepersonwaitingonyourtable.
Orhandingoutsinceresmilesandjokestogrumpycommutersjustbecauseyou’vegotsomepositivitytospare...
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Look up from wherever you are and smile at 1 person in the room.
Nocheatingbyshylygazingupandshootinganinvisibleninjasmilewhenthepersonisnotlooking...
Instead,makeaproperefforttolookthatpersonintheeyeandgivethemarealsmile.Afull3-secondsmilethatsays:
“I see you and even though there’s no obvious reason; you deserve this smile.”
AN EXERCISE IN COMPASSION...
(bytheway,ifyou’reonyourown,findamirror)
Andleaveitatthat.Don’taskforanythinginreturn,don’tevenexpectanythinginreturn.
That’sit.Easypeasy,simpleandsmall....right?
But...I’mguessingyouhaven’tdoneit.Andmyquestionis,asshouldbeyourquestiontoyourself:
“Why not?”
Okay,itjustgotreal,didn’tit?
Didn’tyoudotheexercise(orhesitate)becauseyoufeltyoulookedlikeanidiot?Orwasitbecauseitwasjusttoofreakin’vulnerable?
Becauseasmilelikethisobviouslyis!
Fortheoneonthereceivingend,thistypeofsmileispricelessthough...
Thissmile,andmyapologiesforgoingoffthedeepend,sumsupallourexistentialwantsinjustafewseconds:tobeseen,tobeacknowledgedandtobeappreciated.
Ifyouhaveahardtimebelievingthat,imaginehowyou wouldfeelifsomeonewouldshootyouasmilelikethat(remember,I’mtalkingaboutasincereandopensmile,notacrazy-eyed,serialkillerone!)...
Soifit’ssogreattoreceive,whyisitsohardtogive(eventhoughitisthesimplestactofcompassionpossible)?
Isitbecausewedon’ttrusttheotherperson?Areweworriedtheymightthinkwe’reweirdandthattheymightjudgeus?
Yes,andyes,probably...
Interestingly...theseworriesreallyhavenothingtodowiththepersonyou’resmilingat.Infact,theyhaven’tevenhadachancetodoanythingwrongjustyetandmayhavebeenverywillingtoreturnthefavor...
Thatmeansthatthesefearsareallinyourheadandthatit’smostlikelythat you aretheonejudgingyourself insteadoftheotherjudgingyou.
Thatseemssillyandunnecessary,doesn’tit?Thatourownissuesgetinthewayofasimplesmile...
Itwouldbeseriouslyawesometoliveinaworldwhereallotherpeoplechangeandadaptthemselvestoaccommodateyouandanyissuesandinsecuritiesyoumightcarryaroundbutinreality,norealchangewilleverhappenifwedon’tstartwithourselvesfirst...
Andbesides,changingotherpeopleisnotreallysomethingwehavemuchinfluenceon,isit?
Sogiventhatwe’rethebiggestlimitingfactorinourownlives,andthatthere’snotawholelotwecandotochangeothers...whatelsecanwedobuttakeresponsibilityforourselvesfirst?
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You are not your insecurities. You are not your fears. Instead, they are simply a part of you. And they, just like you, deserve compassion.
CREATING PEACE IN YOUR OWN WORLD
Basedontheconclusionsofthepreviouschapterwecouldsaythat:
INSECURITIES + FEARS = UNPEACE
Oneshould‘simply’takeawayorlessentheinnerinsecuritiesandfearstocreatepeace....
Yes,that’sabitofastretch,butlet’sillustratewithshortexample:
Let’stakesomethingthatmanypeoplefeelinsecureabout;theirweight.
Let’ssaysomeonecallsyoufat.
Whatwouldbeyourreactionwhenyou’reinsecureaboutyourweightandafraidotherswillthinklessofyoubecauseofit?
Probablytofeelreallyhurt.Youmightlashouttotheotherorretreatinshame.Theremarkmightstickwithyouforawhileandtriggerallsortsofpainandpotentially(self)-destructivereactions.
NOT GOOD! NOT PEACEFUL...
Whatwouldbeyourreactionwhenyou’rehappyandcontentwithyourselfandinyourbody(evenifyoudocarryafewextrapounds)?
You’dprobably
smirk,raiseaneyebrow,say“dude,please...”,andturnyourbeautifullyshapedbackonthem.Andyou’dmoveonwithyourlifewithoutgivingthatremark,orthatpersonanotherthought.
GOOD! PEACEFUL...
That’swherewewanttobe!
Buthowtogettothatplacewhereyouhavethatsenseofpeaceinyourself?
Well...Iwouldlovetogiveyoua
listof10easystepstofollowsoyouwillnevereverfeelinsecureorafraidagain,butthat’snotgoingtohappen...
For2reasons:1. Justbecause‘something’(yoga,
creating,therapy,continuouslykickingyourselfoutofyourcomfortzone)worksforsome(me),itdoesn’tmeanitwill,orevenshould,workforyou.
2. There’snosuchthingasgettingridofallyourinsecuritiesandfears.
“Inner peace comes
not from fighting insecurities but from embracing
them.”
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 9
simplyapartofyou.
Andthey,justlikeyou,andanybodyelseoutthere,deservecompassion.
Thishasmuchmoretodowith‘beingokay’withyourirritability,fearofjudgment,occasionalstupidity,socialawkwardnessandanyotherperfectimperfectionsthatmightbepartofyou,thanwithbeing100%perfect.
Neitherdoesthismeanthatyou’llalwaysneedtobehappy,social,or
Ahyes,didInotyettellyouthat?Therereallyisn’t.Sorry!!!
Innerpeacecomesnotfromfighting(andtryingtogetridof)theseseeminglynegativeaspectsofyourself,butfromembracingthem.
Innerpeacecomesfromrealizingthattheyarenotyourenemiesnorthattheydefinewhoyouareasaperson.
Youare not yourinsecurities.Youare notyourfears.Instead,theyare
supernicetoothersifyou’rejustnotfeelingit.
Itisaboutacceptingyouforwhoyouare.Bites,scrapes,cuts,battlescars,curioustraitsandall.
Andyes,thatalsomeansacceptingyourselfandeverythingthatmakesyouyou,whenotherpeoplecan’t!
Arethereanyshortcutstogettingthere?
No.Butyouprobablyknewthatalready...
Therearehowever2questionsyoucanasktomakethisprocesstowardsinnerpeacealoteasier.Namely:
#1: “HOW IS IT TO BE ME?”
and
#2: “HOW IS IT TO BE YOU?”
We,moderndayhumans,tendtowantthingstohappenNOWandwiththeleastamountofhardship.
Butwhenitcomestomattersoftheheart,mind,andsoul,youwillneedtobeverypatientandverypersistent.
Becausethebadnewsisthis:thereisnoquickfixtoinnerpeace.
Soreadonifyou’rereadytodothework.Ifnot...thenthisisagoodtimetoexitthisguide...
THE QUICK FIX CONUNDRUM
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Righthere,rightnow.Areyoucomfortable?Areyoucontent?Areyouhappy?Issomethingbotheringyou?Istherefrictioninyourselfand/oranyofyourrelationships?
Justobserve.Takethetemperatureofthemomentwithoutjudgingorattachingemotionsoractionstoit.
Perhaps,inafewdaystime,whenthisquestionpopsupinyourheadagain,takethetemperatureofthatmoment.Andseehowitisdifferentand...whatmadeitdifferent.
Life’sbutastringofmoments.Momentsfleet.Circumstanceschange.Areyouflowingalongordoesitfeellikeanuphillclimb(oradownhilltumble)?
Whoknows,ifyoufindyourselfonalongdrive,andyou’reinanintrospectivemood,youmightgivethequestionevenmorethought.Andyoumightnoticethatovertimepatternskeeppoppingup.
Thingsyou’reeitherhappywithorgratefulfor,orthingsthatdon’tfeelrightatall.Thingsyoumayhavesimplyoverlookedwhiledealingwithyourday-to-daylife.
It’sinthosemoments,wheninnerawarenessandclarityarises,thatyouwillfindthespacewithinyourselftomakeadecision.
Likethedecisiontoliveahealthylifestylejustbecausethatfeelsbetterthanstayingincouchpotatomode
(andnotbecauseyoumustloseweight).Tosendapostcardtoanoldfriend.Ortoquitthejobyou’renothappyin.
Ortodoanything elsethatispositivelyreinforcingforyou.
Itdoesn’tcomefromself-pity,frustration,ordiscipline.Itcomesfromaplacethatissofter,sweeter,andawholelotmorepositive.
Thereisnoforcebehindit...it’sjustempathy,compassionand(self-)love...
QUESTION FOR PEACE #1:HOW IS IT TO BE ME?Healthy decisions come from clarity. Clarity comes not from having the right answers but by asking the right questions.
Ask yourself:
“How Is It To Be Me?”
Ask yourself this: “How is it to be me?”
This is self-compassion. And this is the stuff that will
bring inner peace.
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 11
Asking and listening turns into understanding. Understanding turns into empathy. Empathy turns into compassion.
andexperiencesyourown.
Thisdeepenedunderstandingisthefoundationformoreempathy.Empathythatissoundeniablethat,whenitfeelsright,turnsintoactsofcompassion(howeversmall).
Notbecauseit’s‘therightthingtodo’,butbecauseitwouldfeelwrongnotto...
QUESTION FOR PEACE #2:HOW IS IT TO BE YOU?
Infact,askatleast3peoplehowitistobethem:
1. Someoneclosetoyou2. Someoneyouknowbutwith
whomyoudon’tusuallyhaveverypersonalconversations
3. Someoneyoudon’tknowatall
Do:sit,andlisten,andaskquestionswhenthingsareunclear.
Do not:judge,interrupttheflowofsomeone’sthoughts,andnevereverassumeanything.
Theseconversationscanbeverypersonalandvulnerableandgoonforhours.Buttheycanalsoremainatquiteahighlevelandbeoverand
donewithin5minutes.
Whateverhappens:itdoesn’tmatter.Thepointofthisquestionisnottoextracteveryexcruciatingdetailoutofsomeone’ssoul.Theymightnotwanttoshareitwithyou,orevenwiththemselvesforthatmatter.Andifnot,thenthat’swhatit’sliketobethematthatmoment...
Instead,thepointofthisquestionandtheseconversationsistomakeaconnectionwithsomeoneelse.Toseetheotherforwhotheyareandtoacceptthemnomatterwhat.Evenwhenthatdoesnotgobeyondthatconversation.
Thepointisalsotoletyourselfbeseen.Tobeopen,toshare,andtolearnmoreaboutyourselfbylearningmoreaboutanother.
Lookintoyourownheartandintotheheartoftheotherperson.Don’tjudge,orprojectyourownshit.Instead,givepeoplespacetosharethemselves.
Besurprisedbythewisdom,insight,andheartofeveryoneyoutalkto.Beinspiredbythestrengtheachandeverypersoncarriesinthem.
Learnhowyou’renottheonlyonewhothinksandfeels‘that’way.Learnhowsomeoneelsedealswiththingsyouhavedifficultieswith.Learnbyseeingtheworldfromanotherperspective.Experiencethecoloranddepththisgivestoyourownviewpoints.Andmaketheselessons
Ask someone: “How Is It To Be You?”
Ask someone else: “How is it to be you?”
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Because feeling empathy and acting out of (self-)compassion should become as normal as brushing your teeth.
MAKING PEACEA HABIT AND A VERB
are,orontheculturalandreligiousbackgroundyouhave.
Neitherdoesitdependonhowmuchmoneyyouhavetogive,howmuchvolunteeringyoudo,howsocialyouare,orhowmuchyoumeditate.
There’snoneedforsecrethandshakes,T-shirtsorwristbands.Wedon’tneedtoformstructuresandsystemstomakethishappen.
Wedon’tneedtobecomeanother‘us’asitwillopposethatusagainsta‘them’justbydefinition.
Instead,letbeingawareofinnerandouterturmoil,feelingempathyforthepeopleandstruggleswecomeacrossandbeing(self-)compassionatetowardsourselvesandotherssimplybecomethingswedo.
Justlikewe’reawareandtakepositiveactiononourphysicalwantsandneeds.
Ofcourse,eachandeverypersonwillhavetheirownpreferencesinhowtomaintainandbalancetheirinnerworlds.Anditwilltaketimetogettoapointofmoreclarityinyourhead,morepeaceinyourlife,andmoreloveforyourself.
Butit’sreallyeasytostartsimple.
Youmightevenwanttogiveyourselfaregularandgentlereminderbyprintingoutthelastpageofthisdocument(theonethatsays‘Howisittobeyou?)andhangituponyourfridge.Orkeepasmallversionnexttoyourcomputer.Oranevensmalleroneinyourwallet.
Arethesequestionstheanswertoall(y)ourproblems?No,ofcoursenot.Butthey’reanamazinglyeffectivestartingpoint.
Andtheywillleadyoutomoreclarityandpositivelyreinforcingdecisions.
Andthey dohavethepowertostrengthenyourrelationshipsandenableyoutomakecontactonamoremeaningfullevel.
Andonceyounoticethathappening...thenthat’stheplacefromwhere‘emotionalhygiene’becomessecondnature...
Thetitleofthisguideandthethingitstrivesforissobonkersandoutofreachthatit’seasytonotbotheratall.
That’sbecausewesomehowtendtoforgetthatpeaceinourowninnerworlds(ourheartsandminds),and
ourownouterworlds(theoneinwhichweliveourdailylives)mattersjustasmuch,ifnotmore,aspeaceforthewholebigblueplanetweliveon.
Andlet’snotforgetthatthepeacediscussedinthisguideisnotthetypethatdependsonhow‘spirituallyevolved’ormindfulyou
Start by asking yourself “How is it it to be me?” and asking other people “How is it to be you?”
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Becauseeventhoughitmightnotalwaysfeelthatwaywhen
you’rewrappedupinthestrugglesofyourownlife,butALLofushavedifficultiesacceptingcertainthingsaboutourselves.
Everybodyhasfearsaroundloveandrelationships.Feelsawkwardincertainsituations.Getslonely.
EVERYBODYhasstruggleswithfindingmeaninginourjobsandlives.
WeALLhavetangledspaghettiforabrainandhavebrewingandboilingoutofcontrolemotionsinourhearts.
ThemissionofHowItIsToBeYouisnottogetridofalltheseutterlyhumanthings.Norisittopretendthatlifewillsuddenlybecomeperfect.
Negativity,sadness,pain,hurt,andconflict...asmuchaswe’drathernotseeandfeelthesethings,theywillneverbecompletelygone.Nomatterhowmuchwemightevolve;we’llstillgetsick,peoplewillstilldie,andwe’llstillhavetodealwithourego’swantinganddoingstupidthings.
Instead,theHowItIsToBeYoumissionistocreateapositivemovementtowardsmoreunderstanding.Ofourselves,ofour
friendsandfamily,andofeveryotherpersonoutthere.
Anditaimstonotdenythethingswemightnotlikeaboutlifebuttoinsteadfindthe(lady)ballswithinourselvestolookourpainsandfearsintheeyesandbehappier,morelovingandmoreatpeacebecauseofit.
Nomatterwhoyouare.Whereyouare.Orwhatyourlifelookslike.
WHAT’S YOUR STORY?
Whynotgiveyourselfakickstartbygoingbigandboldandsharehowitistobeyouonourwebsite?Inwrittenword.Orinsong,dance,drawing,video,...Completelyanonymous.Ornot.Sharedonsocialmedia.Ornot.
Shareyourstorythroughthislinkrighthere.
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This is how it is to be me, Linda Coussement.
ABOUT THE PROJECT A B O U T L I N D A
I’veneverreallyhadanyclue
whatthislifewasallaboutandforthelongesttimeItrulythoughteverybodyelsedid...
NowthatI’molderandhavefiguredthingsoutformyself(amongstotherthingsthroughaneducationinbusiness,14yearsofbusinesscoachingandconsulting,yogateaching,solotraveling,entrepreneuring,training,andattending,facilitatingandcreatinglotsoftrainingsessionsonpersonaldevelopmentandgrowth),I’verealisedthatthere isnospoonclue...
Butstill,duringasolohikeinNormandyafewyearsback,Idecidedthatthemissingmanualtolifestillhadtobewrittenandthat I wasgoingtodoit.Untilitdawnedonmethatthatwouldperhapsbeabitpresumptuous...
SoIdecidedtoinvestigatehowotherpeopleexperiencelifeinstead.Howtheyexperiencebeingthem.
Etvoilà…theideaforthe‘howittobeyou’projectwasborn!Thepremisewassimple:
For me to slowly go around the world and ask all sorts of people: “How is it to be you?”
Andcreatephotoandvideoportraitsfromtheseconversations.
But...thentheParisandmanymoreterroristattackshappened,IgottoknowseveralSyrianrefugeespersonally,learnedaboutthedifficultiestransgendersface,andthemassive(lady)ballsittakestosimplyfollowyourdreamsintoday’smoney-drivensociety...(andonthemorningthisguidewaspublished,Trumpwaselectedpresident...)
NolongerwasIabletoevenslightlyignorethepainintheworldandwiththat,thepainANDloveinmyself.
That’swhentheprojectbecamebiggerthanmyselfandIrealizedthatitsimplyhadtobepartofabiggermovement.Onethatpositivelyandlovinglycounterstheterriblethingsthatarehappeningintheworld.
That’salsowhenIdecidedthatmypersonalgoalinlifewastoinspireasmanypeopleasmightwanttobeinspiredtolivehappierandmoremeaningfullives.Inwhateverway,shape,orformtheymightwantto.
Andthat’swhenthisEverydayGuideToWorldPeacesimplyhadtobewritten.
THE GURU FACTOR
Forthesakeofhonestyandclarity:Ihavenot writtenthisbecauseIamtheGuruofPeace,theQueenofZenandtheMasterofHumanRelationships...
Infact,it’sbeentheplentitudeofpastandpresentexperiencesonhownot tocreateandsustaininnerandouterpeacethathaveledmetowritethis...
It’sfromvulnerabilityandhumanitythatIwishtospeakandact.Andthemomentyoucatchmebeinginsincere...you’remorethanwelcometocallmeoutonit!
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SHARING, LIKING & SUPPORTINGPeopleoftenaskmehowIfundthisprojectandtheansweris:I’mself-fundingthisthroughmentoringprograms,workshops,and(e-)booksforbig-heartedandtrailblazingrebelswithcausesthatwishtolive theirlifeswithinnerpeaceandforwardmovingflow(seewww.howitistobeyou.com).
Asworldpeaceisn’tthesmallestofambitions,itisanextremelycostlyendeavortogoasbigasitneedsto.ItwouldthereforebegreatifyoucouldtakealookattheproductsandservicesIhaveonofferandpurchaseoneifyoufeelitcouldaddvaluetoyourlife.But...noobligationsofcourse!
Also,asworldpeacereallyisanumbersgame,Icoulduseyoursupportonafewotherthingsaswell:
1. Share this guide with people who you think might be interested.
Forwardthispdfbyemail,orshareonsocialmediawiththehashtag#howitistobeyou,bycopyandpastingthislink:http://howitistobeyou.com/every-day-guide-world-peace/
Mindyou,byusingthislink,peoplewillNOThavetogiveuptheire-mailaddress.
2. Sign up for insightful articles and interviews, guides, portraits, and events.
Leaveyournameandemailrighthere
3. Help me making this project even bigger and bolder.
Inotherwords,ifyou’vegotwickedideasorwickedpeopleinyournetwork,thenshootmeamessage
andlet’shaveachat!
Contactmethroughthisformoremailme:[email protected]
4. Come join me on Social Media
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Sonder. noun
|son·der: The realization that each random passer-
by is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic
story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which
you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background,
as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted
window at dusk.*
*http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/23536922667/sonder
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 17
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS & THANKSThoughthisguidemightnotseemlikeabigdealwithitsmere19pages,ithasbeenalifetimeinthemaking(and8monthsinthewriting).AndthatmeansthatIamthankfulforEVERYBODYwhohashelpedmeshapemylifeand,well...me.
Firstandforemostmyparentsforeverythingthey’vedoneformeEVER(considerthisasmakingupforallthosetimesIdidn’tsayit...)and‘little’brother(whoIknowwouldhelpmehidethebody...).
ButalsotheguyinhighschoolwhowasbraveenoughtoaskmeouttwiceandwhoItold“NO”rightinhisfacewithouteventhinking.Twice...(I’msosorry...myownissuesaroundrejectionmadeitimpossibleformetodealwiththisinacompassionatewayatthetime).
Thenthereareofcoursethe(ex-)boyfriends,thefriends,thefriendswhoturnedouttonotbefriends,thefriendsthatsimplydriftedawayaslifemovedon,the(former)colleagues,andtheplentitudeofotherpeoplewhopassedthroughmylife...Imayormaynotbeinactivecontactwithyou,
andImayormaynothavegottenonwithyou,butIcertainlydoappreciatethevalueofyourbeingandthefactthatitwouldhavebeendifferent‘tobeme’ifIhadnotmetyou(andI’mreallyhappybeingme...).
Aspecialthanksgoestothepeoplewhodonatedmoney,guestbedrooms,andtimeandenergybyreviewingthisguideorlisteningtomegoonandonaboutthisincrediblyvaguethingIjust‘hadtodo’.I’msoproudtocallyoumyfriends!
AnotherspecialthanksgoestoCees...thefirstpersonIgottointerviewandthegiantwhoseshouldersI’mproudtostandon.Imissyouman!
Finally,I,ofcourse,havetothankMissTobi,Michal,Karl,Hans-Christian,Isolde,andJaehoon(thestarsofthefirstcoupleofmini-documentaries)andeverybodyelseI’vehadthepleasureofinterviewingand/orphotographingsofar.Thankssomuchforyourtrust,openness,andinspiration!
No(wo)manisanisland.Notevenaself-proclaimedlonewolflikemyself...
Miss Tobi; a transgender artist in Berlin
“Idon'tfeellikeawoman,Idon'tfeellikeaman,Ifeeltransgender.”
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 18
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© Linda Coussement | version 1.1 | 2016
LEGAL STUFF & LICENSING
Michal; from banker to papermaker
“It’snoteasytoliveyourdream.You’llneedtoinvestinyourselfbutintheend,it’smorethanworthit.”
HOW IT IS TO BE YOU | LINDA COUSSEMENT | 2016 19