The Five Brushstrokes

Compare the following images, the first written by a high school student…

•It was winter. Everything was frozen and white. Snow had fallen from the sky for days. The weather was horrible.

The second by well-known novelist Brian Jacques…

• Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter beneath a sky of leaden gray that showed tinges of scarlet and orange on the horizon. A cold mantle of snow draped the landscape, covering the flatlands to the west. Snow was everywhere, filling the ditches, drifting high against the hedgerows, making paths invisible, smoothing the contours of earth in its white embrace.

Image Grammar

“The writer is an artist, painting images of life with specific and identifiable brush strokes, images as realistic as Wyeth and as abstract as Picasso. In the act of creation, the writer, like the artist, relies on fundamental elements to express his or her vision.”

- Harry Noden Image Grammar

• Participles:

– An –ing or –ed verb (usually) that acts as an adjective.

– Adds more action to a description.

The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

• Absolute:– A two-word combination—a noun and a

participle added onto a sentence.

The cat climbed the tree.Claws digging, the cat climbed the tree.

• Appositives:– A noun or noun phrase that adds a second

image to a preceding noun.– It expands details in the imagination.

The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.The raccoon, a midnight scavenger, enjoys eating turtle eggs.

• Adjectives out of order:– Placing adjectives in a different order can be

effective.– Do not use too many “lists” of adjectives.– Amplify the details of an image.

The large, red-eyed, angry moose charged the intruder.The large moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the intruder.

• Active Action Verbs– Eliminate the passive voice (using be + past

participle—is taken, was written).– Reduce being verbs.

Passive: The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, white-whiskered rancher.Active: The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.

Choose your own Brushstroke Technique and write a sentence

about the following picture.