The History of Technology: 480 Years in 6 Minutes

A Mnemonic Device

By Lynn Koller

(or so)

1450 - 1940

Our story of Technology begins in the RenaissanceWhile light came from sun, fire, and the wall-mounted sconceA time when Leo da Vinci built with nonchalanceBombards, mortars, and weapons for martial response

Leo’s self portrait

Leo’s crossbow

Leo’s focus, it seemsWas not art but dreamsOf war and of power and building regimes

Leo’s War Scythe

How Leo and other technologists got their supportWas through the complex, convoluted workings of the Royal Court The kings, the queens, and the good prince consortsGrew as fond of Technology as they did of their port

Leo’s study for Adoration of the MagiFind the horizon line, orthogonals, and vanishing points

In addition to military weapons and stuffLeo focused on court entertainment, strangely enoughHe entertained the royal crowds, which could at times be tough

The royals demanded that Technology serve their fancyIn ways that to some in this day seem chancy

They appear to care not for industrial or laborsaving machines But to defense of their nations did their desires lean And for things that gave them great pleasure, they were really quite keen They remained centuries away from the automated teller machine Which offers no defense or courtly pleasure, but now is routine

The remaining history of technology, the next four hundred years Chronicles the Dutch, Germans, and British drinking too many beers It documents the telegraph, the railways, and the electric engineers And the way that tulips blossomed an array of hopeful racketeers

But wait, before that, when the late 16th century came alongThose who bought into Technology sang a new song

The influence of commerce was distinctly risingAnd the Dutch people’s focus on high quality goods was surprisingThey paid workers well and were uncompromisingThe Dutch fostered a way of technological devisingThat the next hundred years would go about revising

A Dutch guy

The mid 18th century for over a centuryWould put many workers into a penitentiary

The jail did not keep criminals inRather it kept hold of its workers to their own chagrin

The industrial revolution in London, Manchester, and SheffieldChanged the ways of production and what factories would yieldHigh production low cost became the things that congealedWith pollution and labor abuses not even concealedDuring the whole revolution, it was again beer that appealedTo the masses of people whose fates were in fact sealed

A Sheffield factory

Many would die in the terrible, dangerous tradesThey would fall into vats and slice themselves up with bladesThey knew nothing of insurance, sick days, and 401KsThey lived in a time before enriching upgrades

The conditions would shock social commentators for yearsThey fretted and commented and shed big, wet tearsBut it took Technology itself to move us to new frontiers

Technology turned into instruments of empireAnd god what a mess this imperialism would sireThe opium wars were particularly direWhen the British forced the Chinese to acquireA tragic taste for narcotics that they could not help but desire

The rampant and compulsory WesternizationAnd the push by the Brits to overtake every nationCaused our friends in the East a great deal of frustrationThey saw their way of life at risk for annihilation

Famous French satirical cartoon: China is being divided by the United Kingdom, Germany, Russia, France, and Japan.

Technology seemed to reinforce the status quoTelegraphs and railroads brought control and the flow

Of money and culture and things from the WestTo Africa, India, and lands that possessedThe potential of status for an imperial questWith which politicians and kings were obsessed

The weird thing about this unbridled building of nationsWas that it failed to increase its parent country’s financial valuations

Imperialism may be another outcome of human conceitDriven by the egos of men who seem to excreteThe need to possess others and make them concede defeatIt seems that the conquest is what makes war so sweet

Whatever … we must move into the systems and scienceThat began our fervent and unwavering relianceOn what would soon grow into a cult for the kitchen appliance

But before we would have the Maytag washer and dryerThere would be great advances in dyes, gases, light bulbs, and wireThe wire is big, in some ways bigger than all of those priorBecause the wire would take us ever more higher

Into the world of electronics and advancing telecommunicationsThe wire has a great number of significant applicationsBy any account, it has exceeded our expectationsIn the way that the wire has affected human machinations

Thomas Edison and that phone guy, Alexander Graham BellTook the whole world by storm and placed them under a spell

Edison

Bell

The spell they fell under was to lust for light bulbs and phonesWhile now in our day we yearn for special ring tonesBack then and now, we are worth as much as we own

Technology’s story goes on and onBut I’m afraid that this is the end of this songIt has to end somewhere, it’s already too long.