The Introductory ParagraphThe Introductory Paragraph

References

© 2001 by Ruth Luman

The Paragraph that HooksThe Paragraph that HooksYour ReaderYour Reader

Introductio

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An IntroductionAn IntroductionDefinition and Purpose

An introduction is the first paragraph in your essay andcontains the thesis statement. The main purposes of anintroduction is to…

catch your reader’s attention so that he/she will become interested in reading your essay.

present the focus of your essay and give your reader some general information about your subject.

An introduction always includes somegeneral statements about your subject and athesis statement that announces the focus ofyour essay. The thesis statement is usuallythe last sentence in the introduction becauseit is the most specific. Notice how theintroduction below begins with generalinformation and becomes more specific.

An IntroductionAn IntroductionGeneral Information and Focus

An IntroductionAn IntroductionGeneral Information and Focus

Specific focus ofessay and thesisstatement.

General statements provide backgroundinformation on the focus of health carefor homeless people with HIV.

There are a number of frightening disease epidemics occurring in

the United States today, but one of the most frightening is the

epidemic spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Among the most

serious of these sexually transmitted diseases is HIV which leads to

AIDS, a fatal disease. HIV is especially problematic among

homeless people. This particular population is difficult to treat due to

a number of barriers such as, limited access to health care, mistrust

of health care professionals, and a lack of awareness of the disease,

itself.

An IntroductionAn IntroductionA Closer Look

Let’s look at that introduction again and see how the sentences

become more and more specific leading to the thesis statement.

There are a number of frightening disease epidemics occurring in the United States today, but one of the most frightening is the epidemic spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Among the most serious of these sexually transmitted diseases is HIV which leads to AIDS, a fatal disease.

HIV is especially problematic among homeless people.

This particular population is difficult to treat due to a number of barriers such as, limited access

to health care, mistrust of health care

professionals, and a lack of awareness of the

disease, itself.

GeneralStatements

MoreSpecific

Very Specific:Thesis

Statement

Example #2Example #2General Information and Focus

Here is another example of how an introduction can begin with general information and become more specific with a thesis statement at the end.

Example #2Example #2General Information and Focus

Specific focus ofessay and thesisstatement.

General statements provide backgroundinformation on the steps the Indiangovernment is taking to reduce population.

Overpopulation and finding ways to reduce it are big concerns

of many developing nations today. One nation that is concerned

about this issue is India. One of the biggest causes of overpopulation

in India is the high infant mortality rate. Parents often have more

children because they are fearful that if some children die, there

won’t be enough children to take care of them in their old age. India is

taking some important steps in dealing with this problem. Some of

the steps the Indian government is taking are providing birth control

for women, improving pre-natal care, and educating women on the

benefits of having fewer children.

Example #2Example #2A Closer Look

Look at the example below to see how the sentences in theintroduction become more and more specific leading to thethesis statement.

Overpopulation and finding ways to reduce it are big concerns of many

developing nations today. One nation that is concerned about this issue is India.

One of the biggest causes of overpopulation in India is the high infant

mortality rate.

Parents often have more children because they are fearful that if

some children die, there won’t be enough children to take care of

them in their old age.

India is taking some important steps in dealing with this

problem. Some of the steps the Indian government is

taking are providing birth control for women, improving

pre-natal care, and educating women on the benefits

of having fewer children.

GeneralStatements

MoreSpecific

VerySpecific:Thesis

Statement

What would you change in the following intro, to help the writer out?

      If I could bring anything for show and tell I would bring my skateboard. My skateboard means a lot to me after all I paid more for it then I did my car. I have many reasons why I would bring my skateboard I’ll just share a few. My skateboard doesn't exactly match but its very unique. I'll start off by the colors and brands then why its important to me and last just why I love it so much.

An IntroductionAn IntroductionCatch the Reader’s Attention

In addition to stating the thesis and providing some general

information on your subject, an introduction also needs to catch areader’s attention and cause him/her to become interested inreading your essay. There are several ways you can introduceyour subject and catch your reader’s attention.

Use a story or example of a personal experience. Use a quotation. Use a Fact/Curiosity Use a question or questions. Use a Definition

A brief dramatic story or example can beused to get the attention of your reader. Look at the example below and think abouthow it catches your attention.

Catching AttentionCatching AttentionUsing a Story or Personal Experience

Personal Story or ExamplePersonal Story or Example A personal story can “hook” yourreader into wanting to read more.

ThesisStatement

When the car accident happened, my brother was left with a

broken arm, leg, and hip. My mother nearly died due to head

injuries. However, we all survived due to the team of emergency

medical technicians who responded quickly to the scene and

provided us with the help we needed. After my experience of being

involved in a car accident, I saw how I could use my interest in first

aid and desire to help other people through becoming an

emergency medical technician. Now, after twenty years of work as

an EMT, I think it is the most rewarding job I could ever have and

feel that the occupation, itself, has numerous advantages over other

occupations in the health care field.

Personal Story or ExamplePersonal Story or ExampleExample #2

Here’s another example of how you can use a story to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction.

John’s parents divorced when he was in elementary school.

After the divorce, his mother had to go to work to support him and

his three sisters. This disrupted John’s home life in serious ways.

Without the constant supervision of his mother and the lack of a

father for a role-model, John began skipping school and socializing

with the wrong group of people. He eventually turned to taking

drugs and was later arrested for being a drug dealer and sent to

prison. John is not unlike other prisoners. In many prisons today,

over half of all inmates come from divorced families. Divorce can

be the catalyst that unleashes emotional problems in children

and can affect children psychologically, mentally, and socially.

Personal Story or ExamplePersonal Story or ExampleExample #2

An example of a story in the third person.

ThesisStatement

Sometimes controversial or well-knownquotations can be used to surprise yourreader. Look at the example below andnotice how a quotation can be used to getyou interested in the rest of the essay.

Catching AttentionCatching AttentionUsing a Quote

Using a QuoteUsing a Quote A well-known quotationfrom American literature.

ThesisStatement

Henry David Thoreau, an American poet, once wrote, “ Our life is

frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify!” These words of advice

are difficult to follow in a society where a hectic pace of life is the

norm and the attainment of more material goods is encouraged.

However, I believe that this philosophy of living simply has quite a

bit of merit. The difficulty of following this philosophy is knowing

where we should begin. If we examine Henry David Thoreau’s life

carefully, I believe we will find a number of ways in which to simplify

our own lives and yet live richly.(Quotation from: Watson, 1951)

QuotationQuotationExample #2

Here’s another example of how you can use a quotation to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction.

Horace once wrote, “ Many blessings do the advancing years

bring with them.” For many senior citizens in the United States

today, old age can often come as a curse. Many older people suffer

from ill health, loneliness, and/or financial instability; however, life

in later years does not have to be this way. Many senior citizens

can experience the blessings of advancing years that Horace once

wrote about. In order to do that, let’s consider ways in which old

age actually enhances life.(Quotation from: Watson, 1951)

QuotationQuotationExample #2

Quotation

Thesis Statement

Practice Using this quote, create a hook for

your practice intro about doing your work in class. You can use it all or a part.

“Your talent determines what you can do. Your motivation determines how much you are willing to do. Your attitude determines how well you do it.” – Lou Holtz

Using A Fact or Something Interesting Curiosity: if you find something

odd, it can be used to gain attention, because hopefully, what you find interesting others will

Example #1

The pentagon has twice as many bathrooms as are necessary. The famous government building was constructed in the 1940s, when segregation laws required that separate bathrooms be installed for people of African descent. This building isn’t the only American icon that harkens back to this embarrassing and hurtful time in our history. Across the United States there are many examples of

leftover laws and customs that reflect the racism that once permeated American society.

ThesisStatement

A seemingly random fact to draw interest

of the reader

Another way to catch your reader’sattention is with a question. Questions canmake your reader begin thinking about thesubject in your essay.

Catching AttentionCatching AttentionUsing Questions

Have you ever run in a marathon? Most marathons are twenty

six miles. Have you ever heard of one-hundred mile marathons?

The state of Colorado hosts a one-hundred mile marathon each

year. People from all over the United States and the world run in

this marathon. Some of the top runners in this race have been

members of the Tarahumara Indian tribe in the Sierra Madre

mountains of Mexico. Tarahumaras do not train for marathons, but

their lifestyle and culture promotes, develops, and supports this

type of athletic endeavor.

Using QuestionsUsing Questions Questions that may surprise your reader.

Thesis Statement

Did you know that one of the eight architectural wonders of the world

is located in Cambodia? Angkor Wat is an ancient Buddhist temple that

was the center of culture and religion for the Khmer empire for several

centuries. It was only recently re-discovered by a French explorer during

the 1800’s. It has now become one of the most popular tourist attractions

in Southeast Asia. If you visit Angkor Wat, you will find much to admire in

its size, historical significance, and beauty.

QuestionsQuestionsExample #2

Here’s another example of how you can use a question to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction.

Question

Thesis Statement

Grabbing Attention Using a Definition: A definition that

you will be using as the topic of your paper, may be a nice way to introduce the topic so that people can understand what your paper is about

ExampleA homograph is a word with two or more

pronunciations. Produce is one example. These words can be confusing for any person learning to speak English. This leads Englishto be one of the hardest languages to learn because it has many homographs, a combination of multiple languages, and has spellings that are not phonetic.

ThesisStatement

A Definition that leads into the thesis of the

paper

Homework:Create an introduction paragraph on the following prompt:

As part of the “war on drugs” and in reaction to an increase in school violence, many schools across the nation now conduct targeted searches of student lockers and backpacks. Although the Supreme Court has ruled that public school officials have the right to search students’ persons and property when they have reasonable cause to suspect weapons or drugs, many people feel this is a gross violation of students’ right to privacy. Others feel that since school officials are responsible for the well-being of students while they are in the building, they have the right to search for drugs or weapons at any time. How do you feel about this issue? State your position and explain your reasons with specific examples.