PREPARED FOR IAN WILL IAMSON THE OCCASION OF

THE TENTH ANNUAL JARTACULAR

JULY 2 , 2011

The Jartacular Report

Jar tac u lar [jar-tak-yuh-ler]noun1. "Jartacular?” It comes from Jarts. Lawn darts.

Horseshoe-size darts that were banned because every once and a while a kid would get brained by a horseshoe with a point. It was like horseshoes in that you would toss the the Jart into a plastic circle across the yard, except that I've never tried to see how high I could throw a horseshoe or see how deep I could sink it into a lawn. We've never actually played Jarts at the Jartacular.

Definition Courtesy Scott Bullock

The Destination

Where old friends make new memories and ALL COMERS ARE WELCOME.

- Salem

Jartin’ in the USA

The Pilots

It's a big annual party my brother throws each year where all are welcome and there are three days of

fun. I mention the quiz show, THE PILOT SCREENINGS the dance-off, the walks up the hill,

the communal dinners, etc. -Michelle

Best Pilots

Pilot Percentage of Total Votes

#1 Lost 23%

#2 Pushing Daisies 18%

#3 Heroes 15%

#4 Modern Family 10%

#4 Glee 10%

#5 Fringe 8%

#5 Hawaii 5-0 8%

#6 Life on Mars 5%

#7 Running Wilde 3%

#1

#2

#3

Worst Pilots

Pilot Percentage of Total Votes

#1 Eastwick 38%

#2 Life on Mars 31%

#3 Nikita 8%

#3 Hawaii 5-0 8%

#3 That One with the Thing 8%

#3 That One with the Guy from Wings 8%

?

? ?

The Barn

A weekend-long bacchanalia, with EVERY DIVERSION an ADD type like myself could ever

hope for (and more all the time), featuring the smartest people I love.

- Seth

Favorite Barnlor Activities

PoolPing PongBasketballFoosballRoller SkatingDarts

Our Favorite Pastime

“Any game that works in Seth losing is high on my

list.”

The Quiz Show

A weekend full of fun, sun, scotch, hula hoops, a QUIZ SHOW WITH BUZZERS and cows!

- Danielle

Favorite Quiz Show Categories

Dead, G

ay o

r Set

h

Ask C

hip C

hapm

an

Our I

diosy

ncrat

ic F

riends

Mas

hups

State

Shap

es

$25,

000

Pyram

id

Spellin

g

0%

5%

10%

15%

20%

25%

Dead, Gay or BothDead, Gay, or Both (or

Seth)?Seth (Gay or Not Gay)

Ask ChipDoes Chip Know?

Anything Involving Chip

Mr. Chapman Our Awesome FriendsOur Friends

Things our Friends Did

Best Category Ever

“Anything that gets Tessa upset with Lindsay or Jamie.”

Favorite Quiz Show Deciders

Dance Off Sheer Arbitrary Favoritism

Tessa

The Harebrained Schemes

Ian Williams presents The Agony and the Ecstasy. The agony that he's always working on some

HAREBRAINED SCHEME that isn't quite finished by Memorial Day. The ecstasy is the hive that descends on Knob Hill Farm every summer.

- Chip

The Harebrained Index

Slightly Crazy Harebrained Completely Effin’ Harebrained

Themed scotch tastings

5-on-5 Basketball Games

Annual Talent Show

Quiz Show with Working Buzzers

Full Band Rendition of ELO Song

Barn Skating Ring & Skate Center

5-Hole, 3-Par Golf Course in Cow Pasture

The Reunion

A reunion of old friends who are a big extension of a big wonderful smart musical interesting family.

- Annie H.

Kind of like a giant family reunion, except it's mostly friends.

- Jordi

How We Got Ahead in Life (Or How We Got Behind.)

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

Life: Key Trends

The Circle of Life

Got Hitched10%

Got Unhitched4%

Had a Career Break-through

11%

Changed Careers17%

Had a Baby/Partner Had Baby9%

Bought a Home12%

Moved to a New City14%

Got an Animal Companion10%

Found My Bliss10%

Shot a Man in Reno Just to Watch Him Die

4%

We always find our bliss at the Jartacular.

OUR FEEL INGS.

The Quotes

Favorite Jartacular Memories

I loved that year (2004, I think?) that the Quiz Show tie first evolved, spontaneously, into a dance party, one of the best dance parties I can remember. -- Seth

Having a quiz show category in my honor. Celebrating my 40th birthday at the Farm in 2007. Going on shopping trips to Jack's in Great

Barrington. Going to Four Brothers for dinner. Seeing the kids in the talent show. -- Chip

Mornings in the kitchen, every year. -- Salem

It's always the quiet, spontaneous, late-night conversations that sneak up on me and become my favorite each year. -- Tammy O.

Lindsay wearing sheet rock stilts walking around the barn in a psychedelic haze created by a smoke machine, a disco ball and lights. -- danielle

The introduction of the skating rink. -- Anon

Favorite Jartacular Memories

Impromptu alcohol-fueled flag performance/limbo/ladder karaoke after the quiz show one year. – Ehren Gresehover

Skyping in Chip for the "Does Chip Know" quiz show? - Scott

Watching Ben and Lucy and the other kids take over the stage and not be afraid to let their little hearts shine. -- Salem's Little Sister AKS Katie

It's always the quiet, spontaneous, late-night conversations that sneak up on me and become my favorite each year. -- Tammy O.

Reconnecting with my now-husband, Jon Vaden. -- Michelle

The first quiz show dance off. -- Jordi

Performing "Blue Sky" with Ian, Sean, Michelle, Block & Scotty. -- Annie H.

Hanging out late night with Ian and just a few other friends after everyone else has called it a night. -- Bud.

Favorite Jartacular Memories

1.) My first Jart when I met everyone and saw the Williams family perform Mr. Blue Sky. I knew I was witnessing and part of something amazing in that moment, and to this day when I hear the song I feel unbelievable. 2.) In general: The freedom of doing anything you want whenever you want. The joy of being around funny, brilliant, open people. Feeling safe, loved, and part of a clan. -- Katie Kosma

How Do You Describe the Jartacular?

Where old friends make new memories and all comers are welcome. -- Salem

a memorial day tradition of a (sprawling) group of unc alum who convene on a most lovely farmhouse in up, up, upstate new york for sunshine, recreation, quiz shows, dancing, golf, beer, talent shows,

sneak previews of fall television, great food and heaping spoonfuls of affection. it’s a dream. really, truly, a dream. -- Tammy O., from a

blog post in June 2008A weekend-long bacchanalia, with every diversion an ADD type like myself could ever hope for (and more all the time), featuring the smartest people I love. -- Seth

Kind of like a giant family reunion, except it's mostly friends. -- Jordi

A Park Slope Burning Man without the playa grit. -- Anon

A reunion of old friends who are a big extension of a big wonderful smart musical interesting family. -- Annie H.

How Do You Describe the Jartacular?

A weekend full of fun, sun, scotch, hula hoops, a Quiz show with buzzers, and cows!. -- danielle

This is what I say: Every year about 30 of us gather in the Berkshires at our friends' farmhouse. It's pure joy, and pretty much the best time

of my year. When I was a kid, my days revolved around Christmas. Now, it's Jartacular. -- Katie Kosma

The perfect party and if I invite you it's going to be just you, not 10 of your friends - got it? -- Anon

Ian Williams presents The Agony and the Ecstasy. The agony that he's always working on some harebrained scheme that isn't quite finished by Memorial Day. The ecstasy is the hive that descends on Knob Hill Farm

every summer. -- ChipI tell them it's like a brain trust on vacation. -- Anon

It's a big annual party my brother throws each year where all are welcome and there are three days of fun. -- Michelle

How Do You Describe the Jartacular?

An annual long weekend with 25-40 friends at an Upstate farmhouse with a tricked-out barn. The 2nd floor of the barn can hold a modest basketball game or a pig-pickin' and has also been turned into a roller rink, complete w/disco lights and fog machine. Yes, the roller rink was a dangerous as it sounds. "Jartacular"? It comes from Jarts. Lawn darts. Horseshoe-size darts that were banned because every once and a while a kid would get brained by a horseshoe with a point. It was like horseshoes in that you would toss the the Jart into a plastic circle across the yard, except that I've never tried to see how high I could throw a horseshoe or see how deep I could sink it into a lawn. We've never actually played Jarts at the Jartacular. -- Scott

Thank you, thank you, thank you Ian & Tessa for being such amazing hosts and friends. You've brought us and kept us together so much, and that is an invaluable gift. We love you.

-- Katie KosmaI look forward to the jartacular every year. I am so happy to be a part of it. -- danielle

There are times in our lives when we are surrounded by by the most peculiar characters and precious friends. Whether it was the Pink House, the Purple House, or your first trip

to the Farm, Ian and Tessa make it happen again, every year. I cannot think of a gift more dear. Lots of love and many thanks. -- Salem

The Jartacular is my favorite holiday. -- Ehren Gresehover

Ian, Tessa, and Lucy's openness, effort, and tolerance are greatly appreciated. The Jartacular is a huge production that they've knocked out of the park for nine

previous years and, assumedly, for as long as they want. Huzzah! - Scott

The 10th Annual Jartacular Report Committee:Tammy Oler

Ehren GresehoverSeth SheldenTeam CorollaTeam RAV4

Cover & Logo Design:Seth Shelden

Special Thanks:Tessa BlakeLars Lucier

Everyone Who Took the SurveyThe Internets