the journey by beryl odendaal

7/27/2019 The Journey by Beryl Odendaal

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THEJOURNEY

BYBERYL ODENDAAL


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THE BEGINNING

I was just an ordinary housewife and lived with my husband Joos on a dairy farm on the

outskirts of Kadoma, a small town in Zimbabwe. We were so happy and content with not a

worry in the world. We had the children visiting on

the weekends, took holidays when we could and

enjoying our lives just the way they were. We had

both lost our spouses from previous marriages, so

this was a second marriage for us both. We knew

just how short life can be and we married within

five months of meeting one another on 20th May

1989. This is what one would call a fairytale

romance. Our future seemed secure and we lived in

the moment and were so happy and content.Somehow we knew that the Lord had brought us

together for special reasons.

Life was good to us in those days. Financially we were coping well and there was not much

to worry about apart from having a bad rainy season which resulted in problems with crops

on the field. Joos death on the 2nd May 1998, two weeks before we would celebrate our

ninth wedding anniversary, left me devastated and in a state of shock. But with the support of

my wonderful family I managed to get through the trauma and started to re-build my life

without him.

BEITBRIDGE

Looking back I think its fare to say I complained of stomach problems for years. At the time

however, this did not interfere with my daily life and I assumed there was no cause for

concern. For a number of years doctors treated me forIrritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

In 2006 I was offered a caring job in Beit Bridge and I thought the change would do me good.

I also thought that perhaps moving out of my comfort zone wouldbe a good thing. I left the job I was doing at that time as the

secretary of Eiffel Flats Primary School in Kadoma and settled into

my new surroundings.

This new challenge was very demanding, looking after an elderly

gentleman who had Alzheimers disease. The job entailed my

constant attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and allowed me

little rest. In spite of this I enjoyed the job tremendously. Working

with this amazing family was truly a blessing in many ways and I


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was always treated as a member of the family. We had some very touching incidents that will

remain etched in my memory forever.

One such incident occurred when I had to fly with him to a little coastal town about two

hours from Joburg to enable him to visit with his sister. They had not seen one another forquite some time. Keep in mind the fact that I had never traveled by air before and

consequently had a fear of flying. Also keep in mind as the Alzheimers disease progresses,

the patient becomes more and more forgetful and sometimes a little aggressive and

argumentative. Benji was in a wheelchair at the time and to get him settled into the aircraft

was quite a mission. He insisted on finding his own seat and did not want to sit where he was

told to. However, I managed to persuade him to sit where he was meant to and the flight

commenced. He also had it in his mind that I would lose important documents I was carrying

(passports, return air tickets etc) and insisted on keeping them himself. Obviously I could not

allow him to do this and in the process of trying to get to the hand luggage above us, I

managed to spill a whole glass of coke on the young gentleman in the row in front of us. The

entire incident was very amusing to the other passengers as you can imagine. Fortunately, I

did not have much time to dwell on my own fear of flying during the flight. When we arrived

at our destination we had to go to the rear of the plane where a lift would take us down to the

ground with Benji in his wheelchair. This was absolutely hair-raising and a few times I feared

he would jump to the ground. A flight attendant below us was pleading with him to stay

where he was. I was absolutely beside myself by this time trying to calm him down. This was

just one of the many interesting experiences we had together.

As Alzheimers progresses, the patient often begins to live in the past. I found myself goingon imaginary journeys with him and his family and I would always find the amusing side to

the journey which helped us all cope with the changes that were taking place in him. There

were sad times as well, times when he would quickly deteriorate and I would wonder how

such a wonderful man with such caring ways could suddenly change into a complete stranger.

Such is the road with Alzheimers disease.

NEW SURROUNDINGS

My health did start to take strain and I began to get extremely tired to the point of near

collapse. On one of my visits to Bulawayo, doctors discovered a growth on my Thyroid and I

was advised to have this removed as soon as possible. I left the job in Beit Bridge and

returned to my daughter Lindsy and son in-law JJ who were living in Bulawayo. An

operation was scheduled and performed where the Surgeon removed the Thyroid. After a

brief stay in hospital I was discharged and was told a specimen had been sent to Harare for

testing. After waiting ten stressful days for the results to come back, we were told to my great

relief that the growth was benign. I mention the Thyroid as it is a gland which controls

hormone production and could well have had a bearing on future events, although this has

never been confirmed.


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I recovered fully from this trauma and decided to settle down

in Bulawayo. I got a full time job and rented a cottage from a

retired couple, Willie and Ingrid Crowcamp who later become

my dearest friends and remain so to this day. I was also not far

from my daughter Lindsy and son in law JJ who wereextremely good to me. I was very content in my job and once

again life was good.

FAMILY INTERVENTION

My stomach problems continued and got more frequent as the days went by, I would find

myself tiring very quickly and housekeeping in my little cottage became more and more

difficult. Doctors again passed it off as IBS and stress. In March

2010 my two daughters Jackie and Lindsy decided to step in andasked my GP to refer me to a specialist.

They were concerned that my health

condition was deteriorating and they felt

the need to get to the bottom of what

was going on within my body. The two

girls contacted my other daughter

Wahnita, who with her husband Rob

and my two grandsons Guy and Travis now lived in Perth,

Australia. Lindsy and Jackie promised to keep them updated as to the outcome of the

specialists findings.

Lindsy now took total charge as Jackie was living in Kadoma and could not be in Bulawayo

all the time. I would like to add at this point that the girls had been pressurizing me for a long

time to get a second opinion. I think I was hoping the symptoms would disappear because at

the back of my mind there was always the fear of what if they find something I dont want

to hearabout. It was now thankfully out of my hands as I let the kids make the decisions.

We have always been a very close family and I just knew whatever the outcome, I would

have their love and support to help me through as always.

FEELING LIKE A LAB RAT

After having scans done of my pelvic area through my local GP, it seemed a mass was

detected. Lindsy made an appointment with the Specialist/Surgeon as soon as we found out

and he advised hospitalization immediately to begin his investigation. And so the grueling

tests began.

When Jackie arrived in Bulawayo on the 8th March 2010, I was already in hospital where

they were preparing me for all the tests that would be necessary for the surgeon to know what


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he was dealing with. The girls had hired two private nurses when I was admitted as the

hospital was extremely short staffed at the time. Their names were Molly and Pinky. I cannot

find words to tell you how wonderful these young ladies were. The dedication and

compassion to their work was just amazing. We built up a very special friendship indeed.

When Lindsy and Jackie were not at my bedside they were getting information from the

Surgeon and researching everything he had told them thus far. I was confident I was in good

hands.

Tuesday 9th March, 2010

I was taken into theatre for a colonoscopy and an intensive internal examination. I was

sedated for this procedure. When I was fully awake and knew what was happening again, the

surgeon did confirm there was a tumor in the Ovary and that I had a frozen pelvis.

Wednesday 10th March, 2010

I was scheduled for a CT scan and was very frightened to have this done as my body was so

weak at this stage and I had lost so much weight. I could only describe myself as a bag of

bones. Before the actual scan the girls would keep making light hearted remarks to keep my

spirits up and we would have some good laughs. This procedure took much longer than it

should have, my veins had collapsed and the pain of the nurses trying to find a suitable vein

was only just bearable. The actual scan also seemed to take hours and eventually I screamed

for them to stop as the pain in my arm was just too much. The dye had gone into the tissueand caused tremendous pain and a huge swelling on my right arm. By the Grace of God I

made it through but there was very little laughter and smiles when I came out. Jackie and

Lindsy still continued to try and find little things to amuse me.

Thursday 11th March, 2010

This was a day to rest and enable me to recover as the next day I was scheduled for a Barium

Meal Enema. Again I was really frightened for this procedure and knew it would be very

tiring and would suck up the little strength that I had left.

Friday 12th March, 2010

In this examination they made me swallow a large glass of Enos fruit salts and then wait

thirty to forty minutes before they brought me a tall glass of liquid that tasted almost like

chalk. This is the dye that goes through the veins to enable them to see if there are any

blockages in the upper or lower stomach. After drinking the chalk-like liquid and waiting

approximately half an hour, they took me into the x-ray room and made me stand on what

looked like a platform. This massive stainless steel machine took me down as though I was

lying on a bed. They then proceeded to insert a pipe into your anus which was very degrading

and I lost the little bit of dignity I had left. During this time pictures were taken as the bed


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moved in all directions. They continued to tell me to move from my left to my right side in

order for the correct pictures to be captured. The procedure took a long time as they were

extremely thorough. The stainless steel bed was so uncomfortable and with no meat on my

bones and only a thin surgical gown I was extremely uncomfortable and cold. I can honestly

say it was by the Grace of God once again that I got through this examination.

I need to add here that we tried to keep our humor during the course of all these Tests. One

example, my passport had expired and the girls were not happy with me not having travel

documents for various reasons. So they started jumping around and got the relevant

paperwork together. They had to get a policeman to accompany them to my hospital room in

order to have my finger prints done. A day later the girls whisked me off from my hospital

bed with my drip attached to have my passport photographs taken. Well the photographer

could not believe his eyes seeing a women coming straight from her hospital bed looking like

death warmed up. So that gave us all quite a laugh that day.

THE DIAGNOSIS

The results of all these tests confirmed what the Specialist had suspected - OVARIAN

CANCER. They would only be able to tell how far it had progressed when they opened me

up so I was scheduled for surgery on the 15th March 2010. Unfortunately with ovarian

cancer, it is very difficult to detect in the early stages.

A TIME OF REFLECTION

I praise God for the most wonderful daughters who never left my bedside. Without their love

and support I would have surely given up and died. My daughter Wahnita was still unable to

be with us, but Lindsy and Jackie made sure that she was kept informed as to what was

happening every step of the way. I cant imagine what she must have gone through being so

far away.

Any surgery is risky, but when one is faced with surgery of this kind, you automatically turn

to your Faith. I have wondered if this is the same for everyone. You suddenly realize thatyour life is in the hands of the Almighty. At this stage of my life I considered myself as a

Christian but as I later learned I was in fact not a Christian, but a Believer. There is a huge

difference between the two. A believer is being brought up in a home where you have been

taught how to live a decent life with good morals values and uphold Biblical laws. A

Christian on the other hand is someone who has given their life to Christ and accepted that

Jesus died on the cross for their sins.

I suddenly felt I was very far off the mark and needed much more knowledge and

understanding if the Lord was going to help me through this. It is not surprising that at a time

like this one takes out the dusty old Bible that has been hidden away in a drawer for years,


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and tries to find answers to the hundreds of questions in ones mind. For example, if I die

during this surgery will I go to hell, or will I go to heaven? You start thinking of everything

anyone has ever told you about death and the afterlife. I desperately needed guidance. I did

not have a pastor for the simple reason that I did not attend Church.

I started to pray like I have never prayed in my life before and the most amazing people

started to come into my life. Through Christian friends, a prayer chain started to go out for

me country-wide in Churches and private homes. People I did not even know came to pray

for me at my bedside. One of the most amazing interventions I had was from pastors Wayne

Nel and his father Billy Nell from The Revival Church in Bulawayo. Lindsy had heard of

Wayne and Billy through a friend and made the phone call asking them to pray for me. They

came to my bedside, anointed me with oil and prayed for me the night before the surgery.

This proved to be an amazing turnaround in my life spiritually and I just knew I was going to

make it through this.

THE SURGERY

Monday 15th Match, 2010

Early that morning I was prepared for Surgery and when seven oclock came I knew they

would be coming for me soon. I started to panic a little as Jackie and Lindsy had not yet

arrived to see me before I went into theatre. I was wheeled down the long corridor to the

theatre and I kept telling the nurses that I had to wait for my children but they insisted that the

surgeon was waiting and we could not waste any time. Just as we had almost reached the

door with a notice that read NO VISITORS BEYOND THIS POINT, I heard the girls

calling wait, wait. The nurse turned around and said with a smile on her face I see we have

gate crashers and allowed them to give me a hug before I went in. My heart was on Mount

Everest and I was so overjoyed they had made it in time. As the nurse continued to wheel me

in I had the hymn Thisis the day that the Lord hath made playing over and over in my head

and I felt so at peace. I was in theatre from approximately 6:55am to 11:00am, being a total

of 4 hours. When I woke I was very surprised to find myself back in the ward and not in ICU.

The girls were there waiting for me and told me the surgery had gone well and that I had to

rest. They also informed me later that a nurse sat at my bedside for 3 hours monitoring me

until he was satisfied that I was stable.

THE RECOVERY

The surgeon came in to see me the following day and told me I had a tumor in the one ovary

that was the size of a coconut. This led him to remove the tumor and in doing so removed

both ovaries as well. He concluded that both ovaries were affected as was the liver, kidneys

and pancreas. He was unable to remove another tumor in the pelvis due to its location. I

would have bled out on the table should he have tried to take it out. I understood I was in a


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pretty bad way and would need Chemotherapy that would hopefully shrink the remaining

tumor. I would only be referred to an Oncologist after I had recovered sufficiently from the

operation.

I was so determined to beat this and so positive that I would be healed. With this

determination and positive attitude I slowly started my journey to recovery. It was hard-goingand my body was so weak, but I insisted on getting out of bed when the physiotherapist

arrived. His name was Surrenda and what a wonderful man, truly outstanding in his

profession. We met every morning in the early days after the operation and we made progress

daily.

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AMUSING INCIDENTS

I need to just tell you a few amusing incidents that really helped me with my recovery and

would make me see the brighter side of life almost every day. It is so uplifting to smile andlaugh when you are in a hospital, it just lifts your spirits. There was the time when a male

nurse was trying to get a date from one of the pretty female nurses. He would ask my advice

on what to do and I would playfully tell him to send her flowers. The very next day they both

happened to be in my room at the same time when he picked a rosebud out of my bowl of

flowers. He went down on his knee and asked her out on a date, telling her how pretty she

was and to please accept. The look of surprise on her face was a treat to see. All three of us

were in floods of laughter with me holding onto my stitches for dear life.

Another incident was when a male nurse had to give me an Enema. This wasnt too bad

except he forgot about it and went off duty. After my screams that could be heard down the

hospital corridor, nurses came running into my room. The head nurses first reaction was to

scold me as the bed was soaked in water but she soon saw the funny side, apologized and

cracked up laughing.

On another occasion a nurse came in and told me it was the doctors orders that my bed be

lowered at the head with my feet up. I told her the doctor had told me no such thing but she

said she had to carry out orders. You can just imagine how uncomfortable this was and how

ridiculous this must have looked. Sometime later the Sister in Charge came in to check on me

and asked me what on earth was going on with my bed. When I told her what the nurse had

said, she cracked up laughing and said it was meant for the patient in the next room. I did

discover later the little nurse involved was severely reprimanded. Its these little lighthearted

moments that take us away from our own situation and we are able to see the brighter side

which helps so much in our recovery. Keeping this same determination and positive attitude,

I recovered well and was discharged after a three-week stay in hospital.


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HOMECOMMING

Coming home was such a highlight for me because at one stage I thought I would never see

home again and my darling little dogs were patiently waiting for me. The going was very

tough indeed but the love and support I received from my family and friends was just

amazing. As I have mentioned earlier, we have always been a close family but in a crisis we

become even closer. Wahnita flew out from Australia to be with us at this time although she

was facing medical problems herself. Jackie and Lindsy continued to do research to gain

more understanding about the type of Cancer and tumour I had (Carcinoid). My one private

nurse Molly stayed on with me after my discharge from the hospital as a carer and

housekeeper. Sadly she left after a year due to medical problems and family responsibilities.

We continue to keep in touch as time goes by. During my recovery the family took me on

outings and made everything so special for me.

At this point I would like people to understand how important family is in their lives. Without

their amazing love and support I would not have been able to endure the trauma. As I

reflected on my past life when the children were growing up, I could not grasp how I could

be deserving of such love. It was then that I came to the conclusion that somewhere along the

line I must have done something right after all.

MEETING WITH ONCOLOGIST

An appointment was made with the Oncologist six weeks after the operation. The Cancer was

at an advanced stage four and I was advised to get

treatment as soon as possible. If you or a loved one have

ever had to deal with a situation like this you will know

how devastating this news is. I was completely numb. It

was as though I was hearing the Oncologist discussing

Chemotherapy from a long way off, as though my brain

was slowly closing down but I knew I had to force myself

back to this reality. I was never told how long the Medical

Doctors would give me to live but I later learnt they hadtold the girls that they didnt think I would make the

Christmas 2010. I agreed to start the Chemotherapy and to

see how I would react to it, knowing the side effects from

this treatment could be quite devastating.

CHEMOTHERAPY

When the first treatment was administrated I reacted so badly that I thought I would surely

die. Doctors and specialists agreed that they had never had a patient react so badly. Duringthis time my hair fell out, huge sores appeared all over my legs, arms and feet causing much


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pain and the most awful itch day and night. I looked like a leper, was unable to eat and

vomited constantly. Trying to get liquid and food down me

was almost an impossible mission. I have only named a few

of the terrible side effects of the Chemotherapy, there were

many many more. It was my decision at this point not tohave any further Chemo treatments. My family was

unbelievably supportive and stood by this decision one

hundred percent. How Lindsy continued to run her home

and her business, do school runs, check on the nurses and

myself I will never know. By the Grace of God she

managed somehow, getting very little sleep. I would

sometimes find her sitting on the floor at my bedside with the night nurse just praying. The

Oncologist said she would lessen the dose of the next treatment should I want to go ahead but

I had already put my life in the hands of the Lord. I was willing to accept whatever his will

was for my life. I kept praying and my faith started to grow stronger.

THE HEALING PROCESS

Once again another amazing intervention in my life was when I experienced first-hand how

God can intervene in your life and through prayer and faith can

work miracles. I received an unexpected phone call one

morning from Doctor Michelle Straydom asking if she could

pay me a visit. Doctor Straydom wrote a book called Healing

Begins with Sanctification of the Heart and has since written

and released her second book. Lindsy had heard about Doctor

Straydom from a friend prior to her phone call.

Michelle Straydom is a Bulawayo girl who did her training in

South Africa as an Orthopedic Surgeon. She discovered the Lord was leading her in another

direction, bringing people to accept Christ into their lives and the amazing healing she would

witness. In her book Michelle combines medical science with biblical teaching on healing

and forgiveness which are found in many scriptures in the Bible. Michelle also holds

seminars countrywide and in South Africa. Tammy Van Rensburg runs this ministry with

Michelle and together they took me through an amazing journey that involved asking the

Lord for the forgiveness of my sins and if there was any unforgiveness towards anyone to

repent of it.

They prayed to break the curse of genetically inherited diseases and the curse of low self

esteem. This she backs up with many scriptures and explains that it was not Gods intention

for us to get ill. It is sin in our lives where we allow the Devil to come in and cause us pain

and suffering. I strongly recommend this book for every household. It is beautifully

illustrated with medical and scientific proof. God does exist and there is evidence in the Biblewhere God tells us about almost every illness you can think of, how it is caused on the


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spiritual level, how the brain works and how our thoughts influence our health. He works

miracles daily and I now have a very personal

relationship with Jesus Christ, I am living proof of

the miracles he has brought about in my life and the

lives of my family, through prayer and faith. Thishas been an unbelievable journey. Michelles book

blew me away and having had the privilege to work

with her has truly been the greatest inspiration in my

life. Ive gained so much knowledge from this book

and consequently did an Eagle Wings Ministry

Course with Michelle and Tammy, and I truly

believe I am a better person for it. Although I still

have the Cancer three and a half years down the line and taking into consideration the doctors

only gave me a few months to live, I take one day at a time. I do not bury my head in the sand

and know there could be relapses. The difference now is I have the peace of Christ that is

beyond all understanding. I know where my eternal home is and that God has removed all

fear from my heart because in his word he has promised to be with me through my suffering.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

I gained my strength back in leaps and bounds and was soon driving again and spending time

with Liam, my precious grandson. I continued to have six-monthly checks

which included blood tests and ultrasound scans. On my first check up the

scan revealed the tumor left in the pelvis had shrunk from 12 centimeters

to 4 centimeters. All the blood test were

normal and all other organs were clear

of Cancer. The Oncologist did admit that

there was no way one Chemo session

could have achieved these results. The

Doctors said it was a miracle. If one

does not believe in divine intervention

then an experience of this kind will

certainly change your mind. Another six months down the

line revealed the remaining Tumor was still at 4

centimeters and all other organs again were clear. Wow, how wonderful was this? I became a

Partner of Revival Church in Bulawayo and have made many wonderful friends. I grew

spiritually and my faith could not be shaken.


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DIET, AN IMPORTANT ROLE

At the point of my diagnosis, I changed my diet completely. For a long

time I only ate chicken and fish, and cut out all red meat. I had one to two

cups of herbal tea and green tea every day. I was very careful when

shopping and read all labels on everything I bought. If something

contained preservatives I did not buy it. I stayed off refined flours and cut

out sugar completely using honey on cereals and in tea instead. The

general rule is if it is natural it is good and if it is manmade, leave it alone.

Organic is the key where chickens and vegetables are concerned. It was

very simple really and just a healthy way of eating, not putting all those

preservatives into my body. Fizzy drinks are defiantly the worst. I did cheat every now and

again, and gradually I did start eating very small amounts of beef as my body started to lack

vitamin B3 which is found in red meat.

WARNING BELLS

In May 2012 things began to change and I started to get ill again. My doctor diagnosed a viral

infection but as the days passed I suddenly had a very strong desire to make sure everything

was in order at home and even packed what I thought I would need in hospital. Lindsy

thought I was imagining things but this feeling of urgency just seemed to push me along. It

was almost as though I was being prepared for something that I did not quite understand.

Eventually I became so ill with swelling in the feet and legs and extreme fatigue that I could

hardly walk. I was admitted to the Casualty Department of Mater Dei Hospital in Bulawayo

where they put me on a couple of drips to rehydrate me which had little effect. Lindsy again

asked for a referral back to the Specialist. I could only get an appointment on the 6th June

making it exactly one month from the time that I got ill.

.

So once again, on the 6th June 2012 I found myself in the Specialists consultation rooms.

After a rather lengthy examination and before I had even had an ECG, he told me I was in

heart failure. This was a bit of a shock as I wasnt expecting news like that. The specialist did

try to calm me down by telling me that although the problem with the heart would notimprove, it was treatable and with proper medication it could be managed. The reason for the

heart failure was a side effect from the Carcinoid tumor that was still in the pelvis as it

releases harmful chemicals and hormones causing a number of side effects including water

retention and shedding of skin in some areas on the body, to name a few. I was to be admitted

immediately into the ICU where he would monitor me and run further tests. Jackie once again

drove down to Bulawayo on hearing the news and arrived shortly after I had been settled in.

The fact that my children could be at my bedside once again at the drop of a hat just blew me

away.


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A SPIRTUAL AWAKENING

I have previously heard about people knowing when they are dying, and I think I was

experiencing this. This period of illness was so very

different from the major operation two and a half

year ago that I began to feel that perhaps my time

had come to leave this world. Again, prayers were

going up for me and again, the most amazing feeling

of peace washed over me. I knew without a doubt

that God was there in the room with me. On the 8th

June I was moved from ICU to the first floor of the

hospital. My mind seems to have blocked out events

that took place from that time. I do remember the

presence of the Lord was with me and my girls wereconstantly by my side. I was extremely tired. I recall

a stranger praying the 23rd Psalm at my bedside and by the following morning I had suddenly

improved so much that I was again discharged. Lindsy and Jackie watched over me very

closely at home and my wonderful mentor, hero and a man of God, Billy Nell was at my

bedside praying for me yet again. I knew without a doubt that the Lord had brought me

through this for a purpose. I do not know what Gods plans are for me or when he will take

me to my heavenly home, but I do know without a fraction of doubt that the Holy Spirit has

led me to write my story.

I want people to know that God is always in control of our lives, his healing is for real and he

answers prayers according to his will for us. God had brought me back from the grave not

once but twice for reasons that he keeps revealing to me piece by piece along this amazing

journey.

It is also my heartfelt opinion that God has worked through the medical doctors connected

with my case to gain more knowledge and understanding of this type of cancer. My family

has gained a greater understanding of seeing the Almighty at work in my life and know the

precautions they should take to prevent cancer and illness in their bodies. They have spent

hours on the internet researching and a whole new world of understanding has opened up for

them.

My wide circle of friends and people I hardly know will come up to me and want to know my

story. Horsea 4 verse 6 says my people perish for lack of knowledge. If I can just

encourage people to take the time to study the scriptures in the Bible you will know God does

not cause cancer and diseases in our bodies. We live in a fallen world and need to be very

aware how we live, how we eat and all the rubbish that we put into our bodies. Know the

foods that are good for you and know the foods that are going to make you ill. Combining all

this knowledge will also lead to a renewed spiritual understanding .


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A QUIET BREAK

On the 22nd of July 2012 Jackie took me back to her home in Kadoma where I could

recuperate further and just have some quiet time to reflect on past events. Before I went back

with Jackie I had to make a decision. The hardest decision I think I have ever made in my

life. I had to have my precious little maltese poodle put to sleep as I could no longer take care

of her. I had to now focus on myself and I was advised by all the people associated with

animal caring, the SPCA, the veterinary department and the kennels that this was the kindest

thing to do. I was also told a dog of twelve years old does not settle well with new owners

and they would always look for their old owners. There were other medical problems related

with her and on serious thought I realized she would not be happy in another home. This is

something that will be etched in my memory forever. As I fight for my life I am faced with

the question did Ireally have the right to take her life? and I realized how unfair life can be.

There are many trials and tribulations we will encounter on this earth but Gods word sayssurely I will be with you till the ends of the earth and with that promise we know we will

never face these trials alone.

I stayed with Jackie for a month and it was such an uplifting time. Only when you

experience the love of a child for a parent will you feel the love bonds

that flow between you. It was a very very special time indeed that I will

cherish in my heart always. A great bonus to this little break was having

my granddaughter Megan at home from university for some of the time.

What privileges we are given in the midst of uncertainty that teach you

to count your blessings and I do believe a time like this will present

itself again when I will be able to visit again. Old friends came to visit

and I was so blessed when Lorraine Du Preez and her husband Pastor

Deon Du Preez invited me for tea one morning. I was able to tell them

all about recent events and how the Lord had led me to actually write

this story.

It has been quite incredible how on my return from the hospital I would wake up in the early

hours of the morning with so much in my mind that I was compelled to write it all down in

my notebook immediately. I had things that needed to be done and things that needed to be

said. I know without a doubt this was divine intervention and hence my story had to be

written. Deon and Lorraine Du Preez are two amazing people who had played a big part in

my life in the early years when I still lived in Kadoma. It was on one of Michelles seminars

in Kadoma that I was invited to speak briefly in their church on the miracles that had taken

place in my life. I also believe it was Deons prayers and his laying of hands that had cured

the cancer from my thyroid in the early days. Deon is the Pastor of the Pentecostal Church in

Kadoma and while I was visiting Jackie, Lorraine organized a ladies tea for me to give my

Testimony and speak with other ladies. This was accepted so well that she organized a ladies

lunch for those ladies that had missed my first talk. I was truly blessed to speak with so manypeople during my stay. By this time I had rested well and my health had improved, but this


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was not the end of the good things. Lins and JJ were taking me on holiday with them to South

Africa, something I was really looking forward to.

HOLIDAY OF A LIFETIME

I must say I had been on holiday with Lins and JJ many

times but never before had I felt so excited about this

particular holiday. I was like a child counting the sleeps

to our departure. Our little family group consisted of JJs

parents, Martha and Jake, Lins and JJ, myself and of

course our precious little man, Liam. We left Bulawayo

on the 2nd of August 2012 and headed down south to a

holiday resort in Mpumalanga in a village called Hazy

View. We broke our journey by staying at Tshpiese fortwo nights and then another two nights with Martha and Jake who live in Potchefstroom

before heading onto the last leg of our journey. The children thought that traveling straight

through would be very tiring for me and doing it this way helped tremendously as I hardly

felt that I was in a motor vehicle.

We arrived at our holiday chalets called Waterbury Hill

Lodges just after lunch and were given such a warm

welcome. We were offered a glass of orange juice and

there were board games laid out to keep the children

occupied while the parents were getting organized at the

reception area. When we were shown to our

accommodation, we could tell this was luxury at its best.

We each had our own private bedroom, bathroom and

toilet with all those little extra comforts that really make

it special.

Every day we took a sightseeing trip somewhere different. The children spoilt us rotten and I

can honestly say this was the best holiday I have ever had. Maybe because of the exercise I

was getting and the change of air, I felt stronger every day and it was wonderful. We were

also blessed with wonderful weather. The month of August in South Africa can be very cold

and windy but while the rest of the country was freezing, we had lovely warm weather with

no wind. It was as though the Lord was smiling on us, it

was unbelievable. Plenty of family time together, plenty of

laughs and just watching my grandson who was four and a

half at the time having the time of his life, and easily played

an adults game of tennis and he joined his mom, dad and

grandfather in absolutely every activity that there was. The

Nel family is very big on playing all kinds of sport together.Although I was not able to join in, I was delighted to just


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watch the joy and excitement on this precious little boys face enjoying every day from sun up

to sun down. This was the best medicine I could have wished for.

So once again all good things come to an end and it was time to start our journey back home.

After twelve wonderful days we arrived home in Bulawayo feeling on top of the world. Afterspending the first nine days with Lins and JJ in their home, I felt the time was right for me to

move back into the cottage in their garden which had been my home since 2010.

LIFE GOES ON

I am now becoming much more independent and driving again, shopping on my own again

and doing all the things I did before I got ill the second time. I do know that I will never be

the same as I used to be, but then again we should never say never. I maintain my belief that

faith can move mountains and I pray the Lord will continue to make me stronger daily. Imaware of the fact that at anytime I could crash again but for

now I am going to live everyday to the fullest as I have a

very different outlook on life.

This experience has taught me many lessons and I know that

I have become a better person. I have peace with everything

and everyone around me. I have been through a dark

wilderness and they say every dark cloud has a silver lining,

well the silver lining has certainly come through for me and

with renewed faith I believe my work here is not yet

complete. When I have completed what I was put on this

earth to do, my Lord will be with me to take me to my heavenly home.

I would like as many people as possible to read my story and look closely within themselves.

If there if anything you need to change, then make those changes. I have learnt that cancer

need not be a death sentence. Heed the warning signs, have regular checkups, eat a healthy

diet, ask your GP questions and never settle for a diagnosis if you feel you need a second

opinion. No human is a miracle worker and only you can look after yourself. So research

everything you can if you are able to.

While continuing living each day to the full, some days are better than others but being alive

is the most important thing. Being able to share the time I have left with my family is the

most precious blessing I have been given. Family and friends that constantly give me support

are my anchors.

Here is a little story that I hope will give Inspiration to everyone who reads this. We all need

a little Inspiration now and again in our lives. Sometimes it is good to be reminded of our

blessings.


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INSPIRATION

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read

Beneath the long straggly branches of an old willow tree

Disillusioned with life with good reason to frownFor the world was content on dragging me down

And if that werent enough to ruin my day

A young boy approached me all tired from play

He stood right before me with his head tilted down

And said with great excitement Look what Ive found

In his hand was a flower and what a pitiful sight

With its petals all worn, not enough rain or too little light

Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play

I faked a small smile and shifted away

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side

And placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise

It sure smells pretty and its beautiful too, thats why I picked it, its for you

The weed before me was dying or dead

Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red

But I know I must take it or he might never leave

SoI reached for the flower and said just what I need

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand

He held it midair and without reason or plan

It was then that I noticed for the very first timeThat the weed toting boy could not see he was blind

I heard my voice quiver tears shone in the sun

As I thanked him for picking the very best one

You welcome he smiled and then ran off to play

Unaware of the impact hed had on my day

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see

A self pitying women beneath an old willow tree

How did he know of myself indulged plight

Perhaps from his heart hed been blessed with true sight

Through the eyes of a blind child at last I could see

The problem was not with the world, the problem was me

And for all of these times I myself had been blind

I vowed to see the beauty in life and appreciate every second thats mine

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose

And smiled as I watched the young boy, another weed in his hand

About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man

- Anonymous

THE END


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AFTERWARD

Since writing my story I have again taken a bad downward turn. The cancerous tumor was

releasing chemicals which made me very sick again in May 2013. By the Grace of my Lord I

gradually came through this once again without having to go back into hospital. Withabsolute determination and so much to still live for I battled my way through this period of

sickness and uncertainty. I must admit I wanted to give up at this stage as it all just seemed so

much, but the fact that my adorable grandson would tell me every day its ok granny you are

going to be fine made me more determined than ever. I need to see him into Big School in

January 2014 and I pray the Lord will allow me to watch his progress and continue to be part

of his little life for a long time still to come. I also pray I am able to continue doing the work

that I am doing, giving those that are in despair hope and encouragement. There is no greater

pleasure than to give inspiration and hope to others.

May each person that reads this story receive Gods blessings in their lives and may they

gain a new awareness of themselves and remember to tell your family how much you love

them.

Life is like a train journey with many stops along the way. Some stops will translate into

great moments of joy and happiness and some will result in profound sorrow. Sometimes

when we have set backs our train will stop for a while until we are able to process why and

perhaps learn lessons. We will then move on again and so we continue our journey. There are

many people that get on and off the train along the way. Some will leave everlasting

impressions when they get off. Some will get on and get off the train so quickly that they will

scarcely leave a sign that they ever travelled with us. We must constantly strive to understand

our travel companions and look for the best in everyone. We will continue this wonderful

adventure until we reach our final destination and are called to our heavenly home.


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MY WONDERFUL FAMILY

John & Jackie Kinnaird

Guy BanwellTravis Banwell

Rob & Wahnita Banwell

JJ & Lindsy Nel

Megan KinnairdLiam NelBaby Jake

the journey by beryl odendaal

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