The Killer Bunnies From Outer SpaceBy Brandon Fultz

Chapter 1: The Beginning...

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away lies the evil bunnies’ domain, a place where everything is fueled by CARROTS! The bunnies that live there have been destroying planets and the people on them since they learned to hop.

Today, a very important meeting was taking place about planets, big kablamo, and... CARROTS, between the leaders, Lindsay, Breanna, Zach, and Jaelen.

“What planet should we obliterate next?” asked Zach.

“Why not Earth? I always hated Earth anyway.” said their slave, Tyson.

“Quiet! You have no right to speak!” roared McKenzie. “I am trying to think of an answer to Zach’s question!” She paused to think a moment, then said “I’ve got it!” and jumped up, arms flailing, and accidentally putting Tyson into a coma.

“Why don’t we destroy Earth?” murmurs of agreement spread throughout the council.

“Then it is settled.” said Lindsay. “I will go down to Earth, figure out there weaknesses, then return with information.* * *

Chapter 2: The Disaster...

Brandon Suarez was tired that morning. Tired of waking up so early, eating the wrong kind of cereal, finding presents from his dog, and of all the... BUNNIES!!! He hated bunnies more that anything else on the planet. He always wears the clothes that marks him the leader of the slayer clan:faded jeans, leather jacket, pilot shades, toothpick in his mouth, and a bunny slayer 2000 in his pocket. As he sat down to play his Xbox 360 sleepily as ever, he heard a loud CRASH! A massive ship filled the room. “I’m not paying for that,” he said.

As Brandon cautiously approached the ship, trying to remember his karate, a loud hiss entered the air. A door had begun to open on the ship, and a hopping sound came out of the dust he couldn’t tell if it was a drunk pilot or a over-sized rabbit.

Brandon whirled around with fire in his eyes and grabbed a shovel that he had left lying around his house, then faced his enemy. But when he turned, the rabbit was not there. There he stood, puzzled, when all of a sudden, the rabbit spoke from a few feet to the left.

“I AM LINDSAY! I SHALL KILL YOU!! GIVE ME CARROTS!!!” Lindsay said.

Brandon lunged for it, but the bunny was quicker. She knocked him over and began to stomp all over his body, still demanding carrots. Eventually, she got so fed up with him that she turned him into a carrot and ate him. As she left the planet to go report back with the council, she realized that she turned his lamp into one instead! But she realized that to late.

Her ship had already taken off. Brandon started screaming at the rabbit; about how he now needed a new roof, he just started his game, and most of all why the rabbits follow him around to drive him bonkers!! Then he realized that she had killed his dog. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I will destroy you if its the last thing I do!!!” he said with fire in his eyes.

His neighbor, Joe, swore that he saw him swearing to the gods in a bathrobe at 6:00am, and told me, quote-on-quote “He was either going crazy from the champion Halo tournament, or he had some mental issues.* * *

Chapter 3:The Plan...

“Oh counsel members! I’ve returned from my mission!” says Lindsay, nervously.

“And the boy?: said Zach, “?”Is he disposed of? Did you show him what we can do

“Well, not exactly. He is still alive. I tried to turn him into carrot, but I accidentally turned his lamp instead. But, that gives us an excuse to all go down and kill him anyway.”

“Agreed,” Jaelen announced, “But this time we should send more of us to take care of things more permanently . I hate that earth dweller with all my guts. Just look at him!!” She pulled up a secret video tape of him(Which you can obtain from 1-800-rabbits-rulz) , he hates our species with all of his being! Just look at the way he disposed of Agent 27 and 62! And lets not even get started with Phil!” The tape then shows him kicking rabbits, yelling about why there has to be so much of them, “But at least we know the reason of why he hates us so much!”

“You mean because xxxx xx xxx x x xxxx xxx, xxx xxx xxxxxx xxx xxx xxxxxx xxx xxxx xx xxx xx xxxxx?” Zach asked.

“Precisely!” Breanna said, “Now lets plan our attack against that wretched boy and his slayer army, then harvest their resources!!!!”* * *

Chapter 4: Brandon’s Army...

Brandon took off his headphones, and started to talk to nobody in particular, which is not a good thing for someone of his stature.

“So, they are going to plan another attack, with an armada of rabbits to kill and harvest. To match their attack, I am going to need some artillery of my own and my army.” He got a sly grin on his face. “It’s time to round up the Black Shadow!”

* * *

Cole was lying asleep at a local bar, in the normal slayer attire similar to that of Brandon. Except the only difference was the shades. The shades had a computer in them that linked to the brain and could be controlled by thoughts. He was the second best slayer in the world, besides the boss of course. The slayers main goal in life was to rid the planet of all rabbits! The leader was Brandon Suarez, who’s hatred of rabbits goes so far back in time, even though only he and Cole knew, its legendary.

Normally, they would all be out hunting their prey, but they had all been discontinued temporarily to try and live normal lives, but all the rabbits had disappeared. So they all, Cole in particular, waits for the day when they come back, or when Cole gets a call from the boss. All of a sudden, his phone rang from a blocked number. He swallowed, knowing that this was the call. He answered it.

“Hello?”

“Black shadow, its time to shine. I have received top-secret information about all of the missing rabbits and the safety of mankind. Meet me on Grim st. by the old dominoes for the mission. Don’t call the rest of the troops.” Brandon stopped, as if waiting for him to ask why. Cole humoured him.

“Why?”

“I’ve got something special planned.” Then he hung up. Cole stood there for a moment, then slowly started to smile.

“I can’t believe it!! I am finally back in the game.” He pumped his hand in the air for the traditional victory symbol, then pelted out of the bar to his destination...* * *

“Boss! I can’t believe we’re back in action!!” Cole said.

“Well, here we are. Truly a long time no see. Anyways, the second most dangerous rabbit has recently attacked me, but I planted a listening device on her to hear anything said in a 10 ft. radius. And I got this...”He played back what he heard.

“This is totally insane! How are we supposed to defend ourselves?! We are two people against a horde of rabbits, and we all know what they can do.”

“While I had dispatched you all, I had created the ultimate device to destroy these rabbits once and for all!”

“Great! Where and what is it?”

“Follow me and be prepared to have your mind blown.”

They both entered the Dominoes and Brandon went to get a coke. He beckoned Cole to follow him and once they had reached the soda machine, he pressed a button and they fell into a pit of... PILLOWS!!! Brandon lead Cole down a hall with signs on a door that would make Chuck Norris pee his pants.

“Now whatever is behind this door, will stay behind this door because if it doesn’t,” He paused, menacingly. “Your slayer licence will be taken. Permanently.”

“Okay.”

“Good now I introduce you to my base!”* * *

Chapter 5: The Slayer Base...

What Cole saw was to much to comprehend. There were gigantor TV monitors broadcasting images of foreign planets that were inhibited by rabbits, especially planet rabbiture, the home of the most deadly rabbits known to slayerkind! On one side of the room, there was a rack that held all of the bunny slayers and more, like there was the irony gun. This gun is used to shoot at rabbits, which transforms them into, ironical, carrots(hence the name). There was also a big turret like gun which was the bunny slayer 3000. But the strangest thing of all was in the center of the room.

It had a tarp on it, and the tarp was arrange so you could just barely make out the shape of it.

“This must be the weapon that Brandon was telling me about” Cole thought to himself. His assumption seemed to be correct because Brandon was getting ready to unveil the glorious device.

“I give you...” Brandon said, and with dramatic flair, he yanked off the tarp. “The Zapafier 9000!!!”

The weapon was basically a large laser that had a tubular device on the front of it to concentrate the beam. It also had other things like:a sticker that said IH8RABBITS, a built in Blizzard machine, cup holders, and a separate gun that launched tracking devices that can remotely blow up.

“It’s...It’s...It’s amazing!!!”Cole was jumping up and down as a chicken would when its high on mountain dew. “When do we get to test it out?! Does it burn the rabbit?! Or merely make the rabbit disintegrate?! Do I get to use it?! PLEASE! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!! PLE-”

All of a sudden rabbits burst in through the roof. Jaelen was barking out commands as she floated down on a platform, such as “Surround the perimeter!” or “Put some manacles on those lunatics and knock ‘m out!” and “Go get us some Blizzards from the gun(but she didn’t know that only a slayer could use it and it can’t be destroyed)” Then she realized that they were still counciouse. She knocked them out and said to have a nice trip. See you next fall.* * *

Chapter 6: The Interrogation...Brandon woke up on a strange ship in a strange cell. Cole was asleep on the floor next to

him. There was a flashing red light on the ceiling. Brandon walked and looked out the window, only to be pushed back by a forcefeild that said “No one escapes the Destroyer” And that’s when he panicked.

The Destroyer was the bunnies mother ship. Then an alarm sounded, which awoke Cole.

“Ahhhhhhhh! Abandon ship! Abandon ship!!” Cole screamed foolishly. Then he saw Brandon and calmed down a bit. “Where are we?” asked Cole.

“We are on the Destroyer.”

“No! NO!! We’re dead! What happened? Wait I remember. The rabbits broke into our base when we were talking about the Zapafier 9000 when they did. Do you think that they stole anything?”

“You can count on that one my friend. But how they found out my location is still a mystery. If that force field is correct then we are about to be interrogated by our worst enemy rabbits.”

“Then we can certainly count on a miserable interrogation. But at least they wont interrogate you again about why you hate...”

He didn’t have time to finish because two buff rabbit soldiers with manacles walked in.

“You are coming with me for the interrogation.” the lead rabbit said. Then a hood went over Brandon’s head and the rabbit lead him away. Cole would remain in the cell until he comes back. He was already placing imaginary bets on how mental he would be.

* * *

“Well well,” Jaelen said, “It is certainly opportune of you to be here right now.”

“Ah can it you flea bag. Save it for you mother.”

“Your impudence has just earned you the electric carrot.” she announced. A bed was flown forward and he was strapped to it. Then he was lead away.

* * *

“What makes you think that you can withstand the electric carrot” Jaelen asked.

“Because I have a special rescue squad Right abboooouut... now”

As he finished speaking, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a metal ball and threw it at her face and it knocked her out instantly. He then used his watch to turn into her, did the opposite to her, then hopped away to get Cole. He opened up the cell door.

“What do you want now you little demon!!!” Cole screamed.

“Relax. Its just me.” He turned back to his regular self.

“Good heavens you scared the daylights out of me!”

“Its ok. Now lets high tail out of here!:

All of a sudden a hole appeared in the ground and they fell into a ship. The ship was a classic rabbit slayer transport attack vehicle of Brandon’s own design and he is the only one who flies those kinds of ships. After he started flying, he pressed a blue button and a portal appeared in front of the ship. They flew through it and they arrived at the bunny slayer safe house.

He lead Cole through a maze of corridors when they reached a conference room which held all of the slayers in America. Then Brandon began to speak.

“Hello my fellow slayers! You are all aware of the threat that the rabbits are now posing to mankind. We all knew that they would one day catch up with us, so I had filled this safe haven with uncountable weapons. Now is the time for the epic battle between the slayers and rabbits. Who will join me!?”

Everyone screamed in agreement. “Very well. Meet me in room 25c tomorrow at 12:00 sharp. We will begin your training there. That is you slayer RECON TRAINING!” The crowd gaped at him. He left calmly.

* * *

Chapter 7: The Training Begins...

Once all of the slayers were present Brandon and Black Shadow set up a camo device that surrounded the base. Then he pressed a button and a platform just floated toward them. They descended into the base.

Inside of the base were weapons of inexplicable power. They didn’t even dream of this technology!!

“Now the training begins ladies...” Brandon said with a sly wink...* * *

Brandon trained the slayers in all sorts of advanced combat. From flying planes to tracking rabbits, to using, making, and maintaining weapons. He also worked them to the bone by using the gym 3 hours a day, and doing all sorts of nutsy things. Finally it was time to equip them with their specialty weapon that would make a difference in the upcoming war.

“Now you are all here today because I have physically killed you all.” He heard murmurs of agreement. “And I am here to tell you it is time to equip you with specialty items!!!” The crowd cheered. “Black Shadow has the tracking covered. His item is a device that lets him see any rabbits in a 50 yard diameter. Deathstalker has a special skill of driving vehicles so I have made him a canister of pill-like objects that when contact with ground, bursts in to a vehicle most needed by the user. Now if you will all walk over to the rack to your left. There will be a bag for each and every one of you. Go have fun.”

As soon as he finished speaking, all of the slayers except for the commandos ran to get their bags to see what was inside. Not once did he here a complain about the item.

“Well boss man,” Black Shadow said, “I think you handled that perfectly. But how did you know what to make?” he asked in wonder?

“Hold on a minute. Make yourself comfortable. This is going to be one heck of a story.” Then Brandon began to speak.* * *

Chapter 8: A Fighters Eye...

“About ten years ago, when I formed the slayer community, I had a most painful encounter with a rabbit named Goliath. He had tried to kill me on behalf of the rabbit counsel because I knew their secret. I defeated him, but we gave each other a permanent parting gift. He gave me this,” Brandon rolled up the pant leg of his shorts to reveal a foot long scar. They all winced in pain. “But I left him with a hatred so deeply against us, that he went insane.

“We never saw each other again, but I knew we would eventually. So I formed the slayer corp. And our battle against rabbits has been forged around our encounter ever since. So over the years, I have gained something that only the most talented of slayers will ever get called a Fighters Eye. This allows the said slayer to anticipate any attack, know what to do when to do it, and he/she can never die unless two things happen. One of which is when their most beloved one dies. Because the downside is that half of your soul attaches to that person.”

“What about the second one?” asked Deathstalker.

“Now why would I tell you a way for me to die?” He chuckled. “I believe that it is time for you to train you troops.” As if on cue the bell went off to begin.

* * *

Chapter 9: Deathstalker...“Now troops, if you are in my group you should know what we do by now. Who

is not familiar with the bunny slayer 9000 and the portable bunny slayer 2000?” Reese asked. Nobody raised their hands. “Well that makes it easier for me. Who has never driven a rescue or any typical slayer vehicle that is available for soldiers to use?” Again, nobody raised their hands.

“Well well well. Looks to me like I have myself a couple of know-it-alls. That's good for you because if you were here and you didn’t know it all I would have your back shaved off before you could blink.

“By the end of the week you all will be able to drive any vehicle and use any weapon. You will all preform in front of the slayer commandos, if everything goes as planned. Now who’s ready to begin?”

“WHOO-YA DEATHSTALKER!” the trainees yelled.

“That's what I thought.” As Deathstalker moved through the group, he did not once have to correct someone. “That's what I thought...”* * *

“Fellow rabbits,”Jaelen said aloud to the crowd, “We all know that the slayer corporation is training even harder to destroy our forces during the invasion. But THAT WON’T HAPPEN! We will train even harder than them! Our agents will be even better than Black Shadow and Deathstalker alike!! We will invade Earth and destroy all who stand in our way!!!”

“That’s right!” said McKenzie, “At the rate we are going, their puny pathetic planet wont stand a chance against our awesome power!!”

All the rabbits in the auditorium went raving mad and started screaming about how they would crush the humans and sell ice cream to their families!!!

“Now get up and get training!” Jaelen and McKenzie screamed in unison. And just like that, all the rabbits ran out the door into the training facility.* * *

Chapter 10: Black Shadow...

“Now everyone listen up.” Cole said to his group of trainees, “Your specialty is tracking. Your device is a wristwatch radar that projects the locations of any rabbit within a half a mile diameter. Your job in this battle is to follow a specific rabbit that you choose without being spotted. If you find anything interesting report back to base. Understood?”

“YES SIR COMMANDER COLE!”

“Good. I will set up stations for all of you that will simulate a rabbit. Your mission is to treat this like real life situations. Now get to it!” As he walked around he saw that everyone was doing a great job. They trained for a few more days with the same results:perfection.* * *

As Black Shadow went to go check on Brandon’s group, he saw him with his troops sprinting towards him. He shouted orders to Deathstalker to mount his group in their ships.

“What for?” Cole and Reese asked at the same time.

“Our two weeks are up and I have received word that the rabbit army is getting ready to mobilize. We need to intercept them and destroy as many of them as we can before they touch down on the surface. If they do with more than half the armada, we are all dead.

Cole ran over to his group to get his troops ready. “Things are about to get real crazy” Cole thought to himself.* * *

Chapter 11: First Confrontation...

As the slayers flew out in the fighter jets that had been equipped with all the necessary gear, Brandon started giving out orders to destroy as many rabbits possible, and try to destroy the head rabbits ship. With all the slayers ready to dominate, the rabbits flew their aircraft out of the base, and they looked pretty dangerous. The larger vehicles were carrying tanks for when they touch ground. They were also carrying materials to harvest our resources.

As both groups sped eagerly toward each other, half the rabbits broke away from the group lead by the fierce Zach.

“Now men as you all can see, the rabbits are on their way to get to earth. Now I want all the trackers to go down and follow them. Then obviously stop them. The rest of you all, including Deathstalker and Black Shadow are going to stay with me. Now CHARGE!!!!!”

The slayers met his request. But during the excitement, Brandon told Black Shadow to go down to earth undetected by rabbits or slayers to a specific location were Zach would be with his group. He nodded his assent, then slipped away like a shadow in the night...* * *

Chapter 12: The Battle Begins...

All of a sudden, laser shots filled space and the battle begun. Some of the rabbits were killed. Some of the slayers were killed. Their sacrifice was deeply appreciated. Brandon took five of his best to go after the head rabbits. It would take at least 30 minutes to reach them and that would be enough time for Black Shadow to reach Earth before the rabbits so he could stalk them.

Meanwhile in the mothership, the rabbit counsel was conversing about how to strike Brandon and finish him off. They then saw Brandon and wondered why Black Shadow wasn’t with them. They decided he was scared, then sped off to obliterate Brandon.

Chapter 13: Bunnies Attack Earth...

Cole stood behind a tree waiting for his prey. He was glad that the Boss had chose him to do this. Then he began to see the outline of the enemy ships. He squatted down so they wouldnt see him. As they were unloading supplies, he ran in throwing grenades and blew up all of the supplies.

He almost screamed in triumph when he saw Zach sucking out the Earth’s molten core. At least he thought it was Zach. Right before he shot the real Zach jumped out and tried to bite him. Cole threw him aside. He reached for his bunny slayer 2000 when something hit him from behind. As he fell to the ground Zach was on top of him.

“You think that you can just rule us all don’t you?!” Zach spat menacingly, “Well you’re wrong! WE RULE YOU!!! Just because you think you’re so special with your gadgets and whatnot doesn’t mean that you really are!!!! Now prepare to undergo the most excruciating pain of being turned into a rabbit.” he laughed. As he leaned down to bite Black Shadow, he suddenly flew off his chest. Brandon was there with a bunny slayer 9000 mounted on the ground.

“I will give you 20 seconds to high tail out of here before I shoot you.” Brandon said with no mercy in his eyes.

“You think that you have won,” Zach said as he slowly backed up toward his ship. “But we will be back with our secret weapon and agent Goliath.” He laughed. But when he said the name, Brandon’s eyes widened. He then flew off, but Brandon blew his ship up.

“You did good Cole.” he said.

“Thanks. But now what? And who is Goliath??” Cole asked.

“He’s nobody. Now we celebrate and prepare some more for the next battle...”* * *

As Brandon told the slayers about their encounter, and how there would be another battle, his mind kept wondering about if goliath really was coming back.

THE END!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)