the life coach and the ward: tuesdays with...

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CHAPTER II

THE LIFE COACH AND THE WARD:

TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE

Tuesdays with Morrie provides an absolutely delightful read demonstrating

how narratives when effectively done can impart best qualities and life lessons.

It follows a story line of a student meeting with his professor at the last stages of

the latter‘s life. Morrie, portrayed as an unsung hero and the narrator, his student

Mitch Albom meet during the last days of Morrie‘s life. Morrie and his reflections

on life and people do serve as a manual to encounter life. It reminds you of what it

means ―to be human‖ and encourages oneself to develop on his own without

succumbing to the pressures of popular culture. The perspective that we get from

the book counterweighs the lust for wealth, fame and obsessive desire to posses

prevalent in today‘s society. Morrie through his life and teaching underlines the

importance of finding meaning and purpose in life. Education and learning of this

kind happen only when one spends sufficient length of time observing and responding

to the other person who possesses a fine character which is recognizable by traits,

characteristics and behaviour. Character recognition then is an important strategic

point in any experiential education.

The study of personality consists in recognizing and undertaking traits in a

person in particular situations. In Adam Morton‘s conventional view, ―the function

of concepts of character in psychological explanation is … to block, qualify to

emphasize the connections between beliefs and desires that an explanation appeals

to and the action it explains‖ (152). Morrie‘s actions and decisions running

throughout this memoir constitute the rationale behind his successful life. His actions

and beliefs and the way he deals with people show the general attributes of his

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personality. Traits of character such as kindness, cruelty, callousness, courage,

cowardice, recklessness, impartiality, tolerance are indispensable parts of our

common sense psychology. Without using concepts of specific character traits we

would be unable to continue to communicate with our friends, relatives, students

and colleagues. We would also be unable to understand most films, novels, short

stories, plays and biographies. Traits cannot be analysed in isolation and for this to

be done effectively we need characters behaving /acting in contexts/situations.

Actions are not free of the character and they definitely demonstrate the traits of

the actor. So one‘s traits, characteristics or attributes a re the best observed in

character‘s actions and behaviour. Albom‘s memoir contains contexts and

situations in which dominant traits of the main character can be observed.

We have already referred to the neglect of character studies in the

preceding chapter. Though the novel of character was declared to be dead in the

mid twentieth century, it has survived against some intellectually most vigorous

attacks. The increasing popularity of the memoir at the turn of the century and in the

new millennia does prove the validity of the concept of character and development of

an individual. The most interesting aspect of the memoir is its scope for portraying

an individual growing and developing against social, political and cultural

backdrops. We have access to the interactional connectivity between the individual

and the environment.

The memoir is all important for another reason. By being factual it helps

bring back the concept of truth. When values are embedded in fictional characters

it is easier to argue that they are merely constructs and that someone else may

construct them differently. But in memoirs we see real people grappling with

moral questions and values in scenarios which we can reach empathetically.


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These life narratives do invite us to approach them with a reflective, philosophical

bent of mind.

The important aspect in all forms of literature—novel, drama and life

writing—is character. In a novel, the character is usually treated as a human being

in real life. As readers we reach them though empathetic parallels. Character will

be prompted and motivated by certain personality traits of theirs towards

emotions, behaviour and understanding. They will also be beset with conflicts

having origins in their personality. When readers see this in characters they will be

reminded of their own identical experiences and start to reflect on them. Thus the

character of the novel has the value of a human in real life. Roberts observes thus

Characters are the persons present in dramatics of narrative work,

who are interpreted by reader as being endowed with moral and

dispositional qualities that are expressed in what they say in the

dialogue and what they do in action (20).

Character can be defined as a virtual representative of a human being. Through

their action, speech, description and commentary, the authors portray characters

that are worth caring about, rooting for, even loving, although there are also

characters to be laughed at, disliked or even hated.

The way characters are described and represented will reveal the

characteristics of a person. They can be shown from their action, gesture, speech,

and behavior that help readers identify the characters based on traits and

characteristics. Characters in narratives offer us experiential education for,

we too are characters who negotiate our experiences and navigate through life.

We are driven to consider what we are doing with ourselves and our life.


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Character can be recognised and identified in the text by basic descriptions

listed by Roberts (2007). It includes the action of the character and what it is do in

the course of the text. The second one is the description of both personal and

environmental appearance. Environment reveals character‘s social and economic

status informing us more about the character traits. The third briefs the dramatic

statements and thoughts in the speeches of the protagonists where the essential

material is provided to draw conclusions on the character. The fourth is the

statement of characters other than the protagonists on the la tter. Finally the

observation and commentary by the author also inform insignificantly.

Tuesdays with Morrie is a moving account of a former student reuniting

with his teacher who is afflicted with a terminal disease. Cast in the language of

journalistic report it nevertheless raises questions deeply philosophical and

engaging. The world elsewhere is moving at a frenetic pace with technology

dominating. The author Mitch Albom as a student had been inspired by Morrie

who appealed to him as a teacher no doubt but more important as a human being.

Morrie, a professor of sociology, is deeply interested in actual life and people.

He is one who uses his scholarship and knowledge to make sense of life rather

than concentrating on career promotion as done by most. As a teacher Morrie stands

apart because he believes all academic study should lead toward a study of life.

A turn of the century memoir published in 1997 it is carefully set against

the background of commerce driven consumerism of which the author himself is a

victim. The background information is casually strewn along the narrative so that

it gives just the required dose to keep the reader in a place and time. Too much of

it would have spoilt the narrative for the key atmosphere is confined to Morrie‘s

house where he waits to witness the progress of the disease and his end.


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This technique helps the writer retain the reader in the central mood and observe

and experience the drama of achieving essential humanity. We are also prompted

to make a comparison of Morrie‘s life and character with life outside where humanity

and moral concern seem to take a beating. The outside world is introduced to us by

what Albom reads in the newspaper and watches on the TV like OJ Simpson‘s trial.

The major character in the memoir is Morrie Schwartz. The title carries his

name as the entire work is based on Albom meeting Morrie on fourteen Tuesdays.

Morrie had spent most of his life as a sociology professor at Brandeis University.

He is suffering from ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) which ravages his

body. But his mind is sharp and active. Knowing fully well that he is dying he

learns to accept his death in the process of which he arrives at philosophical

understanding and life‘s lessons. These he wants to share with the world. Hence

the three interviews with Ted Koppel and his meeting with the narrator -student.

Morrie names their discussions the ‗final thesis‘ they do together.

Desire for freedom is an inborn trait in every human being. Freedom is

sought for especially during one‘s college days when as young men we find norms

and tradition binding. Naturally they try to free themselves from these. They will

prefer to be active and adventurous too. The author retrospects his college days

and compares it with his present condition in which he is completely comfortable

after earning wealth. His memoires and patterns of behaviour are examined by the

author himself in his attempt to make a self analysis. The fact that he is immersed

so is sure indication that he has already developed doubts about his craze for

material success and his further striving after it. He captures his life in this mode

as follows.


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I stopped renting. I started buying. I started buying. I bought a

house on a hill. I bought cars. I invested in stocks and built a

portfolio. I was cranked to a fifth fear, and everything I did, I did on

a deadline. I exercised like a demon. I drove my car at breakneck

speed. I made money than I had ever figured to me. I met a dark-

haired woman named Jasmine who somehow loved me despite my

schedule and constant absences. We married after a seven year

courtship. I was back to work a week after the wedding. I told her—

and myself—that we would one day start a family, something she

wanted very much. But that day never came (16-17).

The passage is a classic depiction of absolute mindlessness. ―Cranked to a fifth

gear,‖ ―breakfast gear‖ and ―constant absences‖ are metaphoric expressions

conveying the madness of being busy without meaning, without goal. Rapidity and

breathlessness are suggested by the style of language. The dilemma of the narrator

is well captured.

It is important that we know the antecedents for this kind of behaviour.

His maternal uncle had been an ideal model to him when he was young.

―That‘s who I want to be when I grow up‖ (15). He had failed to realize the dream

of becoming a great pianist. And his uncle‘s death owing to pancreatic cancer

dramatically changed his life.

After the funeral, my life changed. I felt as if time changed were

suddenly precious, water going down an open drain, and I could not

move quickly enough. No more playing music at half-empty night

clubs. No more writing songs in my apartment, songs that no one

would hear. I returned to school. I earned a master‘s degree in


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journalism and took the first job offered, as a sports writer. Instead

of chasing my fame, I wrote about famous athletes chasing their‘s

(15-16).

Forgetting his dream he in fact ―throws‖ himself into work that would fetch him

money, material success. But there is no place for the life of the heart. His frenetic

lifestyle is deliberately chosen which can be interpreted as an attempt to defy and

escape death.

The analysis of the above passages brings out extraversion, a trait listed by

the Big Five theory. Acting on this trait a person attempts to present the thoughts

preserved in the core of his mind for which the above passages are example. But

here extraversion, usually treated as a positive trait, is not a preferred one for, in

the case of Albom it has gone to the extent of completely keeping himself away

introspection, an important interpersonal space. Traits generally help us explain

the actions and behaviours of people. A trait must be fairly a permanent feature of

one‘s personality (Butler 330). Albom who we meet at a time when he is completely

in the outside world should encounter Morrie who never swerves from a culture of

giving love and compassion based on inward gaze even as death is staring at him

in the face.

People usually feel happy when they involve themselves in work that they

enjoy. But to make work the be all and end all of work is negativity. We know that

Albom has been compulsively sticking to a frenetic work schedule because he did

not want to end up like his uncle who had to do work he disliked throughout.

Albom‘s overdependence on work becomes obvious when his union strikes work.


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I felt confused and depressed. Although the TV and radio work were

nice supplements, the newspaper had been my lifeline, my oxygen;

when I saw my stories in print in each morning, I knew that, in at

least one way, I was alive (44).

This break from work coincides with Albom coming to know about Morrie‘s

illness though the TV programme he watches on a Friday night. It also creates the

opportunity for Albom to visit Morrie on all those Tuesdays. The conversations

with Morrie in his last days bring Albom back to thinking what it is to be human

and imbibe that spirit. Mitch has always wanted to involve himself in altruistic

pursuits and work in inspirational spaces. He would realize his wish by the last

course he does with his favourite teacher under the programme called life.

In the chapter ‗The Syllabus‖ Albom gives an account of Morrie, his dance

loving professor, coming to know of his illness and impending death. Activity

after activity became impossible for him—driving, undressing etc. But Morrie is

not a quitter and there was still a course to be taught in social psychology.

The way he breaks the news to the class is very interesting. Looking at the young

faces in the class he declares

My Friends, I assume you are all here for the Social Psychology

class. I have been teaching this course for twenty years, and this is

the first time I can say there is a risk taking it, because I have a fatal

illness. I may not live to finish the semester. If you feel this is a

problem, I understand if you wish to drop the course. (9)

Being pragmatic is an important trait in teachers to earn the trust of the students.

The admirable feature about Morrie‘s approach is its freedom from sentimentality

and self-pity. The traits of openness and honesty are seen in Morrie here.


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He would not prefer to keep students in the dark about the condition he is in.

He does not want them to suffer a disadvantage and yet if they want to take a risk

they would do it with full knowledge. Showing pragmatism especially in his

situation becomes an exceptional trait. The altruistic streak in Morrie is difficult to

miss. A person in his condition would have usually expected loads of sympathy

and attention. But Morrie thinks differently, another characteristic trait in any

good teacher. Reflecting intently on his condition he does not want to resign to the

situation and fade away.

Instead, he would make death his final project, the center point of

his days. Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great

value right? He could be research. A human textbook. Study me in

my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with

me. Morrie would walk that final bridge between life and death, and

narrate the trip (10).

Morrie has the attribute of detaching himself from his own distress. Instead of

being caught in self-defeating, negative emotions, he wants to continue what he

has been doing all along. Facing life –this time he does so by facing death—

squarely he wants to create yet another opportunity for learning for the teacher as

well as the student. He makes himself the text. He is the text and the reader as

well. The ability to become an onlooker, spectator and observer to one‘s own self

is a special trait that makes a person rich in intrapersonal, cognitive and

metacognitive domains. It serves as therapy and is also an instance of

transformation and transcendence. Standing outside himself Morrie becomes a

point of fusion of polarities and achieves a compassionate acceptance of the world.


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Death plays an important role in the memoir. It was his uncle‘s death that

drove the narrator to throw himself into work and seek wealth. It accosts him

again in the form of his dying professor. In the first instance he tried to evade and

in the process got distracted from real living. But this time it would be different

and he would learn that one cannot embrace life without accepting the inevitability

of death. Albom‘s meeting with Morrie on Tuesdays is called by Morrie to be the

last project they would be doing together. As his professor at Brandeis University

Morrie had inspired him as a teacher and impressed him as a person so much that a

strong personal bond was established. So strong that it remained unchanged even

after a lapse of so many years for Albom to decide to fly a thousand miles to see

his ailing professor after seeing Koppel‘s first interview on the TV. In this first

interview itself Morrie‘s forthright and upfront personality comes to the fore

which is evident in his remarks to Koppel about the latter and the number of times

he has seen his show.

When it is clear that he can walk no more, Morrie refuses to be cowed

down. He refuses to feel depressed. Yet he is intellectually alive and active writing

―bite-sized philosophies about living with death‘s shadow.‖

Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do;

‗Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it;‘ ‗Learn

to forgive yourself and to forgive others;‘ Don‘t assume tha t it‘s too

late to get involved (18).

It is aphorisms such as these sent to Boston Globe by Morrie‘s colleague Maurice

Stein that drew the attention of Koppel. Refusing to feel self-pity he draws on

experiences of a life time so that what he says will be useful for people as their life


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lessons. He is a person who finds happiness in his work and its being useful to others.

Acceptance of his condition and positive action despite it are notable traits here.

The titling of the initial chapters is interestingly done. In tune with the writer‘s

association with the protagonist the titles are all academic terms—‗The Curriculum,‘

‗The Syllabus,‘ ‗The Student,‘ ‗The Audiovisual,‘ ‗The Orientation,‘ ‗The

Classroom,‘ and ‗Taking Attendance‘ followed by fourteen Tuesday sessions and

ending with ‗Graduation‘. The fourteen sessions are on the world, feeling sorry for

yourself, regrets, death, family, emotions, fear of aging, money, how love goes on,

marriage, culture and forgiveness. In between Parts I, II & III of the Audiovisual

deal with the three sessions Morrie has with Koppel and the Nightline crew.

‗The Professor‘ and the ‗Professor, Part Two‘ deal with Morrie the man and

teacher. Thus the memoir has an extremely interesting structure designed to hold

character, events, background, interactions, public and private lives and the twelve

themes that comprehensively represent life and the character‘s progression as in an

allegory.

The chapter ‗The Professor‘ gives an account of Morrie‘s childhood.

He lost his mother as a boy and as if this was enough his younger brother David

was afflicted with polio. Another burden he has to carry was his father‘s

instruction to keep his mother‘s death a secret to David so that he would accept

Eva, the stepmother as biological mother. Eva was a loving person who brought a

―saving embrace‖ (75) to Morrie. ‗The Professor, Part Two‘ starts with his first

job at a mental hospital in Washington D.C. and his experience with a lady who

wanted to be noticed and another who would spit at everyone else. It was the time

that Morrie found out that happiness could not be bought with money especially as

most of the patients there were from rich families. We also have a picture of


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Morrie as an academic against the background of counter culture and Vietnam

Protests. Albom informs us that Morrie‘s classes had many of the radical students

which goes to show the latter‘s accommodative nature. He was eclectic which

made him acceptable to various types of students. There is also the incident

involving Morrie who resolved a crisis by pacifying a group of radical students

who protested under the banner that read MALCOM X UNIVERSITY. He was a

teacher who attached more importance to ―personal development‖ than ―career

skills.‖ Yet, Albom tells us, former students kept visiting him or writing to him.

This was owing to Morrie‘s concern for inner culture and his ability to induce the

same in his students.

The idea of culture is one of the main preoccupations of Morrie. He is

critical of the dominant popular culture the aim of which is to brainwash people

and exploit them. Such culture blocks self development preventing individuals

from becoming autonomous beings. Morrie feels that the culture Americans live

in is fundamentally wrong and it establishes negative models of human behaviour.

He suggests building one‘s own culture in tune with inner promptings at the same

time inclusive enough to navigate oneself in interpersonal space. Albom is

surprised by Morrie‘s total freedom from self pity, a trait seen in people highly

evolved. Morrie tells Albom,

I may be dying, but I am surrounded by loving, caring souls. How

many people can say that? (36)

This conversation takes place in the chapter ―The Classroom,‖ the first time

Albom meets Morrie after years. Because of the ―Nightline‖ show Morrie has

already become a celebrity and he is well aware of it. ―You know, Mitch, now that


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I am dying, I‘ve become much more interesting to people‖ (32). The typical

teacher he is, he goes on to comprehend and explain the condition.

People see me as a bridge. I am also as I used to be, but I‘m not yet

dead. I‘m not on the great journey here—and people want me to tell

them what to pack. (32-33)

The self awareness and self understanding evident in Morrie here are again traits

indicating a personality rich in cognitive, affective and spiritual domains. Morrie fits

Abraham Maslow‘s idea of a ―self actualized‖ person. This state cannot be said to be

induced solely by the fact of imminent and definite death. When morrie tells Albom

that he is now ―more interesting to people‖ the latter thinks, ―You were always

interesting.‖ Reading his thought Morrie responds, ―You‘re kind‖ (32). All these

go to establish that this is the kind of inner culture Morrie would want a person to

cultivate. On attainment of such culture any person will become autonomous as

well as socially functional, a highly desirable combination of traits. Reflecting on

death is very much a part of the Western philosophical and aesthetic tradition that

helped in understanding the vanity and transience of earthly life. But Morrie‘s

memento mori concentrates on improving this life on earth through love and

compassion.

Morrie disapproves of the consumerism that he believes is the governing

factor in American culture, especially popular culture. There is an excessive

emphasis on indicators of external success owning houses and cars, wearing

trendy dress, adopting latest fashions in pass time, dining etc. There are not any

agreed upon conventions that can provide perceptual indicators of inner richness

of people.


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Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel

good about themselves. We‘re teaching the wrong things. And you

have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn‘t work, don‘t

buy it. Create own. Most people can‘t do it. They‘re more unhappy

than me—even in my current condition (36).

Morrie demonstrates positive qualities of extraversion and also the chief among

the Big Five—Openness to experience. No where do we come across Morrie

taking exception to any remark. He also speaks his mind with absolute frankness

and forthrightness, a quality that proves his reliability which is a positive trait.

He says to Mitch, ―the culture doesn‘t encourage you to think about such things

until you‘re about to die. We are so wrapped up with egotistical things, career,

family, having enough money, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it

breaks— we‘re involved in trillions of little acts just keep going‖ (64).

Morrie feels that we remain insensible and indifferent to others‘ sorrows

because of the distractions provided by those ―trillions of little acts.‖ Morrie wants

people to ask a question ―Is something missing?‖ The clarity he has on life, living

and death so impresses Albom that he tells himself on way back home, ―I wanted

that clarity. Every confused and tortured soul I know wanted that clarity‖ (66).

He observes the discomfort of the passengers at the Logan Airport in the absence

of air-conditioning. ―… [P]eople fanned themselves and wiped sweat angrily from

their foreheads, and every face I saw looked ready to kill somebody‖ (ibid).

Morrie‘s capability as a teacher emerges here for, he not only understands the

conditions but also transmits the understanding to his students. Rich in empathy,

he can activate the springs of empathy in others as demonstrated repeatedly in a

narrative that encloses a fine inspirational-transactional space.


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Social influence is one among the themes Allport used in his study of traits.

It involves an interaction between the perceiver and the society in order to learn

new things or to sympathise with others. Morrie is a natural sympathiser who

understands the plight of the others without much effort. He tells Albom of his

seeing people in Bosnia running across the street, getting fired upon, killed‖ (50).

Morrie had cried at this and was drawn to those people. He had cried for the

people he had never met or known. This leads to make a comparison between

Morrie and himself.

Amazing, [emphasis author‘s] I thought. I worked in the news

business. I covered stories where people died. I interviewed

grieving family members. I even attended funerals. I never cried.

Morrie, for the suffering of people half a world away, was weeping.

Is this what comes to the end [author‘s], I would? Maybe death is

the great equalizer, the big thing that can finally make strangers

shed a tear for one another (42).

Morrie‘s feelings for the Bosnians would fall under the category of agreeableness,

one of the Big Five in trait theory. This refers to the person‘s friendly and

compassionate nature for which empathy is a prerequisite. Empathy is variously

described as ―taking another‘s perspective,‖ ―walking in someone‘s shoes‖ or as

Adam Smith, the Scottish moral philosopher known as the Father of Economics,

calls it ―changing places in fancy with the sufferer‖ (qtd. in De Waal 2). Morrie‘s

empathy reach is exceptional and the narrative illustrates this fact quite often as

when Morrie assesses Koppel in quick time. As a teacher Morrie should have

faced students with difficulties and problems and used his empathy to sort them

out. It is relevant to quote here the Ernest Freud distinguished professor of Law


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and Ethics at the University of Chicago Martha C. Nussbaum‘s observation on

reading and empathy in the context of the One Book One Chicago programme.

What books [sic] clubs can do that parks and monuments cannot is

to promote each person‘s active involvement in a vigorous critical

culture. The works chosen here are not like works of political

philosophy: they promote readers‘ emotiona l involvement in the

events, and encourage a dialogue that grows out of and attends to

these emotional experiences. One of the benefits reading offers is a

kind of intimacy with the lives of people in different groups or

classes, something that would be hard to attain through social

science data alone, given existing separations. Through imaginative

identification, readers can take the measure of human cost of

existing policies and distributions (2013:289-90).

We can see very well in Morrie ―emotional involvement in events,‖ intimacy with

the lives of people‖ and ―imaginative identification.‖ To achieve these qualities

emotional receptivity is important. Observing Morrie and understanding him,

Albom learns the important less on that ―the most important thing in life is to learn

how to give out love, and let it come in‖ (52).

The Audiovisual, Part Two, we see Morrie‘s ability to retain events with

their emotional intensity. In fact, Morrie repeatedly refers to crying as an

important trait denoting one‘s humanity. He is very much against the cultural

requirement that man should not cry. When Koppel queries as to how he is

able to sustain himself Morrie says, ―the loving relationships maintain me‖ (70).

After seeing Morrie in the Nightline show, a school teacher from Pennsylvania had


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written to him. She taught a special class of mine children each of whom had lost a

parent. Morrie recounts his reply.

Dear Barbara… [author‘s] I was very moved by your letter. I feel

the work you have done with the children who have lost a parent is

very important. I also lost a parent at a early age … [author‘s] (71).

With tears flowing down his nose he continues.

I lost my mother when I was a child... [author‘s] and it was quite a

blow to me... [author‘s] I wish I‘d had a group like yours where I

would have been able to talk about my sorrows. I would have joined

your group because I was so lonely then... [author‘s] (72).

Koppel is amazed by Morrie‘s response though it was seventy years ago that his

mother died. Morrie can connect with others‘ moral and mental states. In drafting

a reply to Nancy a woman who lost her mother to ALS, Morrie coins the words

―I hope it has been good for you‖ but on suggestion to change he says ―I hope you

can find healing power in grieving‖ (86) .

Babies are known to cry when they hear another baby cry. This, it is said,

happens in recently born babies as well. Feeling the feelings of others or

―changing places in fancy‖ thus becomes a hard wired faculty in us. De Waal, the

evolutionary biologist gives an account of empathy research in children carried out

by Carolyn Zahn-Waxter.

When her team visited homes to find out how children respond to

family members instructed to feign sadness (sobbing), pain

(crying ‗ouch‘), or distress (coughing and choking), they

discovered that children a little over one year of age already comfort


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others. This is a milestone in their development; an aversive

experience is someone they know draws out a concerned response,

such as patting and rubbing the victim‘s injury. Because expressions

of sympathy emerge in virtually all members of our species, they

are as natural an achievement as first step. Not so long ago, it was

assured that empathy requires language. For some reason, a host of

scientists see language as the source of human intelligence rather

than its product. Since a one year-old‘s behaviour surely outstrips

its verbal abilities, Caroline‘s research showed that empathy

develops well before language (182-83).

So empathy has a quality almost primordial. What Rousseau discusses in his Emile

and what Wordsworth celebrates in his ‗Immortality Ode‘ and ‗Tintern Abbey‘

regarding the child have been subjected to much criticism and more often than not

dismissed as idealistic, romantic stuff. The preservation of the child within from

an evolutionary point of view has a sound basis as made obvious from the passage

quoted above. A person can become complete only when he succeeds in

preserving this child within and maintain communication with him. Morrie has

this quality in him as illustrated in his responses in drafting sentences for his reply.

This travel back in time affords Morrie to revisit the sites of fundamental phases

of consciousness and review his whole life which in turn makes him an

empathetically evolved person.

Poverty is a cruel aspect of human life. It is soul crushing and debilitating.

Morrie as a boy had suffered poverty and more he lost his mother. To add to the

pain of losing his mother Morrie‘s father instructed him not to allow his brother

know the truth so that he would consider Eva, the stepmother as his real mother.


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His father did not earn much making it difficult to run the household. But to

Morrie Eva was a source of inspiration and it was she who motivated him to

educate himself. She was a boon to the house as his father was never known to

demonstrate affection or communicate with his sons. It was also a moment Morrie

felt responsible and started to augment family income by selling newspapers.

When Morrie‘s father took him to the factory to get him a job, he was so struck by

the drabness of the place that he resolved not to get caught in any such trap.

He made another vow that he kept to the end of his life: he would

never do any work that exploited someone else, and he would never

allow himself to make money off the sweat of others (78).

The above passage points to the presence of a moral core in the character of

Morrie. Keenly perceptive he is able to grasp the exploitation involved in the work

that his father does and also to relate this to his unhappiness. Moral perception and

a predilection to take moral stands are traits that manifest in Morrie‘s character

quite often in the narrative. Morrie then was very young and could not have

arrived at his vow through any rational analysis. It was a moment of intuitive

glimpse of what is right and the need for the right thing to be done. Discussing the

character of Sophie in William Styron‘s Sophie’s Choice Marc D. Hauser, the

Harvard evolutionary biologist, comes out with striking observation in his book

Moral Minds. Sophie is forced to make a choice by the Nazi guard between choosing

to kill one child or lose both the children on refusing to kill. Sophie makes the choice

of sacrificing the younger or smaller daughter and has to face the guilt.

My hunch is that Sophie‘s act was permissible, perhaps even

obligatory, given the choice between two dead children to one. Why

then a guilty response? Most likely, this emotional response—like


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all others—follows from an analysis, often unconscious, of the

causes and consequences of an agent‘s action. Who did what to

whom, why, and with what means and ends? This analysis must

precede emotions. Once this system cranks through the problem, it

may trigger an emotion as rapidly and automatically as when our

eyelashes detect pressure and snap shut. Understanding this process

presents a key to explaining why Sophie felt guilty even though she

didn‘t do anything wrong. Being forced to act or make a choice may

trigger the same kind of anger as a when a choice is made

voluntarily. The kind of emotion experienced follows from an

unconscious analysis of the cause and consequences of action.

This analysis … is the province of moral faculty (8).

Morrie making the vow belongs to the province of moral faculty Hauser is

discussing. The observation also helps us understand the process through which

Morrie makes the resolution enabling us to infer and have an intuitive glimpse into

the role the unconscious plays under such circumstances.

Morrie is talkative and feels a need to be surrounded by people always.

With his sense of humour and persistent remarks he earns the trust of all those

who come into contact with him resulting in lasting friendships. Friendliness and

humour are two other traits that have taken permanent residentship in his

personality. We see that he values much family and children. All the more so if we

remember the loss of his mother at the age of nine and a father who was virtually

devoid of affection and communication. Instead of developing complaints against

life Morrie uses his difficult past to develop positive ideas about living using the


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lessons not only for himself but for others as well. He underlines the importance of

family.

I think, in light of what we‘ve been talking about all these weeks,

family becomes even more important… The fact is, there is no

foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if

it isn‘t the family … what I call your ‗spiritual security‘—knowing

that your family will be there watching out for you (91).

The latter half of the twentieth century wrote obituaries also on the family

as in the case the novel of character and God. The ones on the family too have

proved to be premature. This social unit has persisted and sustained itself.

Morrie‘s experiences regarding his family cou ld have in all likelihood led to

feelings of negativity but his reflective and affirmative stance enables him to

achieve a positive and pro-life perspective.

There is a parallel between Morrie‘s and Albom‘s experiences regarding

their brothers. Whole Morrie‘s brother was brought down by polio, Albom‘s is

afflicted with cancer. Both have guilty feelings about their brothers. Albom had

enjoyed good times with his brother. He was the conservative elder and his brother

the ―wild and funny‖ younger. Albom had all along feared that he too like his

uncle would die of cancer. But the tragic irony was that it struck his brother

instead who nevertheless responded to drugs and cancer went into remission.

This was happy news but he completely moved away from Albom refusing

contact. He went to Spain and stopped communicating. The attempts by Albom

did not bear fruit and he started developing feelings of guilt. Over time it became a

recurring burden weighing down his spirit. To forget the guilt and to get rid of the

ensuing weight Albom threw himself into work more and more. Recollections of


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their childhood together only worsen his condition and he runs out of ideas

regarding how to convince his brother into responding to his attempts at speaking

to him. His brother neither takes his call nor does respond to his messages on the

speaking machine frustrating him.

I was ripped with guilt for what I felt I should be doing for him and

fueled with anger for his denying us the right to do (97).

Guilt, though having a negative aspect, is however a trait indicating one‘s

humanity. It is because of guilt that we think of consequences of our actions.

The concept of the right and the wrong will not be there without the emotion of

guilt. Though it has been debated as to whether guilt is a trait or a feeling, guilt

proneness is increasingly treated as a trait. Based on such literature both Morrie

and Albom are guilt prone not as negative stereotypes of earlier times but as

proactive analysers of their own experiences. Morrie as a person is a deep and

objective observer for he finds a way to deal with his guilt and uses that

experience to teach Albom to deal with his own. From the narrative it becomes

evident that Morrie is a person who has never deviated from his search for self

knowledge. This explains why he is curious to know how he would act against

sure death. He tests his self in all kinds of situations to attain self knowledge.

It is his self knowledge that enables him to help Albom to deal with his life issues

through the life-experiential pedagogy the memoir depicts.

A sense of self enables us to step away from our own self-interest,

recognizing that an altruistic action benefits others and that we

should take responsibility for the well -being of some segment of the

community of others. A sense of self and others allows us to build


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an autobiographical sketch, storing and recollecting memories in the

service of guiding future behaviour (Hauser 183).

All the three qualities can be seen in Morrie – stepping away from self-interest,

imagining to being in someone else‘s shoes and using an autobiographical sketch

to guide future behaviour. For the life lessons Albom lists it is imperative that you

have a teacher who has observed, known and understood his own growth as a

person and the altruism and inclination to transmit it to one who is predisposed to

learn. Albom is lucky to have one.

The sixth Tuesday is devoted to the theme of emotions and humans.

Morrie makes the narrator think on letting in the emotion to get fully detached

from sufferings and pain. He asks us to throw ourselves into our emotions unless

which it is not possible to detach ourselves from them. Detachment is not possible

unless you know them and to know them it is imperative that you have fully

experienced them.

But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself

to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them

fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love

is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‗All right.

I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I

need to detach from that emotion for a moment (104).

Once you have undergone the emotional experience the mind becomes free to

rationalize that experience to form knowledge. Then it is possible to understand

the functional connections between our emotions and actions. Not experiencing

emotions fully and formulating ideas is activity not grounded in reality. Ideas thus

formed will only lead people astray and may even result in a situation where the


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agent will be predisposed to disconnect his actions and consequences rendering

him a person devoid of empathy and moral responsibility. Besides, making a value

out of suppressing emotions and not displaying them will trap an individual in a

life-depleting, non moral observation of life and people. John Rawls in his well

known book A Theory of Justice explains that ―when we try to conduct ourselves

in moral argument as its constraints require, we will presumably find that our

deliberations and judgments are influenced by our special inclinations‖ (147).

The most important quality of a human being is to understand others.

The trait of empathy is a major attribute for understanding or showing interest in

others‘ emotion. Morrie gains and learns from real time experiences in his life.

He often draws upon real life events that taught him life lessons. After his

graduation, he was made to observe patients in a medical center for mental

patients and recorded their treatments. He was friendly with the patients which

earned him the trust of the patients. He could empathise and take their point of

view to such an extent that Morrie could get a rich woman to jocularly remark,

―because my husband is rich so he can afford it. Can you imagine if I had to be in

one of those cheap mental hospitals‖ (110). Another incident when Morrie lies on

the floor with a patient who does the same daily is also an indicator of a rich

empathy streak in his personality. As briefly referred to above, empathy is

fundamental to us to become human. Daniel Goleman a psychologist known for

his popular book Emotional Intelligence declares that ―[e]mpathy, another ability

that builds on emotional awareness, is the fundamental ‗people skill‘ ‖(47).

He elaborates further.

That capacity—the ability to know how another feels—comes into

play in a vast array of life arenas, from sales and management to


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romance and parenting, to compassion and political action. The

absence of empathy is also telling. Its lack is seen in criminal

psychopaths, rapists, and child molesters (109-110).

Goleman‘s observation emphasises empathy‘s fundamental importance. The later

decades of twentieth century did witness popular ideologies that negated empathy

concentrating on differing and protesting. No doubt these movements must have

significantly affected the wellsprings of empathy in humans. Empathy was also

treated as another ‗construct.‘ But studies in primatology and those dealing with

other mammals have strongly suggested a biological basis for empathy. We have

already referred to Caroline‘s study proving the existence of empathy in children

before language develops. This rules out the possibility of empathy being a

language construct.

Morrie is a person who seems to have initiated the idea of biological

foundations of culture etc.

Human ethnologists propose that certain iniquitous behavioural

feature or tendencies in human life are an intrinsic, relatively

unchangeable part of our nature and have arisen and been retained

because they contributed positively to our evolutionary success, our

survival as a species. (Dissanayake 19)

Morrie seems to be partly conscious of such an unchanging core. We have already

seen the importance he assigns to emotions. Morrie strikes us a romantic when he

talks about ―how to be a child.‖ The ALS has reduced him to the condition of a

child.


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It‘s like going back to being a child again. Someone to bathe you.

Someone to lift you. Someone to wipe you. We all know how to be

a child. Its just remembering how to enjoy it.

The truth is , when our mother held us, rocked us, stroked our

heads—none of us ever got enough of that. We all yearn in some

way to return to these days when we were completely taken care

of—unconditional love, unconditional attention (116).

He is an organic being unaffected, uncompartmentalized and unspoilt by formal

education that stresses objectification, quantification and verifiability. The words

of Morrie are an instance of comprehension taking place in the subconscious that

is intuited and verbally expressed, in Morrie can be observed that ―moral sense

[which] hands us emotional responses that motivate action, enabling judgments of

right and wrong, permissible or forbidden‖ (Hauser 24). Albom‘s role as a student is

to study how his teacher manages the current situation using his memories. He also

understands why Morrie enjoys being taken care of by him while he is talking with

him. ―At seventy-eight, he was giving as an adult and taking as a child‖ (116).

Kindness is closely related with the idea of compassion. Morrie during his

career has been helpful and supportive to students in all their causes. As a

sociology professor at Brandeis University, he took classes with utmost eagerness

and enthusiasm. It was during the sixties that America faced many tumultuous

problems like racial prejudice, Vietnam War and protests by the black for equal

rights. He used his class room to have brief discussions on those topics and also

involved faculty from other disciplines. It was the time many radical students got

involved in institutional politics. Many students failed to maintain good grade

points and faced deferment from authorities of the institution. Morrie made a


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decision in favour of the students: ―Let‘s give them all A‘s‖ (111). Morrie‘s idea

saved the students. He taught classes in social psychology, social illness and group

process which are now called ―career skills‖ and ―personality development.‖

In another instance he solved a student‘s protest amicably. Whereas the institu tion

thought the students were making bombs in their chemistry laboratory Morrie

boldly entered through a window to hold talks with the students and ―saw the core

of the problem, which was human beings wanting to feel that they mattered.‖ (112)

Morrie‘s courage, confidence, extraversion and empathy come to the fore in this

incident.

Morrie is successful because of his character. His thinking is plain and

simple while dealing with problematic issues. The problem of aging is one such

issue. Most people associate old age with pain, suffering and loneliness. In fact,

old age is dreaded by most. It is also the stage one thinks of all that one has missed

in life. Regret and resentment invade the consciousness of such people. But

Morrie‘s perspective on aging and old age is positive. He finds the youth not

living in the moment. They, in his opinion, all are the time concentrating on

securing their future so much so that they miss the present moment to be lived

fully. The result is a past to regret and an uncertain future. The present is never

there already occupied by the future. Morrie embraces aging.

It‘s very simple. As you grow, you learn more, if you stayed at

twenty-two, you‘d always be as ignorant as you were at twenty two.

Aging is not just decay, you know. It‘s growth. It‘s more than the

negative that you‘re going to die, it‘s also the positive that you

understand you‘re going to die, and that you live a better life

because of it (118).


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In Morrie‘s philosophy life is all about understanding and lending meaning to

one‘s life. That life in the absence of death will be pointless is not just a

philosophical idea for Morrie. It is a lived experience. In other words Morrie has

made from his life a narrative, what Monika Fludernik calls ―experientiality… the

dynamics between tellability and point …the typical quality of natural narratives

in which surprising events impinge on the protagonist… and are resolved by his

reactions‖ (245). Having experiences and making sense of them in a balanced

cognitive-affective mode is what Morrie does in his life. The beneficiary, Albom,

is the reader and participant in the narrative of Morrie. And the narrative mode

proves to be an ideal tool for transmission of life lessons.

Albom learns the important trait of accepting the present. Morrie‘s advice

to Albom is crucial because the latter is worried about his aging. Truth and beauty

of one‘s life should be understood and enjoyed. Envying others would only reward

a person with a sense of despair.

The truth is, part of me is every age. I‘m a three-year-old, I‘m a five

year-old, I‘m a thirty-seven-year-old, I‘m a fifty-year-old. I‘ve been

through all of them, and I know what it‘s like. I delight in being a

child when it‘s appropriate to be child. I delight in being a wise old

man when it‘s appropriate to be wise old man. Think of all I can be!

I am every age, up to my own. Do you understand? (120).

No one can miss the contrast Morrie‘s view provides to the popular perception that

time lost is always lost. Failures and wasted years are what an average person feels

about the course life takes. But to Morrie a life well lived in tune with inner

promptings, conscience and moral sensitivity is never lost. Such a life endows a

person with capacious memory enabling travel down the memory lanes to any part


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of the life already lived. Emptiness is caused by the common human trait of

craving after money and beauty. Morrie is unhappy and angry with popular

(consumer) culture that brainwashes people into believing wealth alone is the sine

qua non of human life. He advises people to resist such popular culture and

generate their own inner culture. Morrie advocates creating moral values based on

the ―experientiality‖ of one‘s life. ―We put our values in the wrong things. And it

leads to very disillusioned lives‖ (123-124).

Morrie attaches great value to being present in the moment. He urges

Albom to make eye contact with people he runs into and offer his smile readily.

He is fully attentive to the situation and is being conscientious. This is considered

to be an important trait which also leads to formation of that trait in the listener.

―I believe in being fully present, I am talking to you. I am thinking about you‖

(135). Morrie sees that everyone is in a hurry and fails to find meaning in life.

The urge to find meaning is associated with the concepts of self and identity.

Self has been the target of all philosophical, literary, metaphysical and recently

neuroscientific attention and Morrie is no exception. When it is said that one

makes oneself it means that the person is finding his self. This finding the self

should be a continuous activity in the introspective space. If discontinuous, unity

of self can never be realized. Eric H.Erikson says that, ―a sense of continuous

selfhood always demands a balance between the wish to hold on what one has

proven to be and the hope to be renewed—a dimension of identity which at all

times makes urgent a division between conservative, if not reactionary, and liberal,

if not radical, versions of a given world view‖(100). This balance is evident in the

character of Morrie and his life as a whole as presented in the memoir does sustain

the ―continuous selfhood‖ Erickson discusses. Also obvious is the fact that Morrie


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is someone who carefully stays away from falling into stereotypes. However hip a

school of thought or ideology may be, Morrie the teacher is never swayed by it and

keeps the balance—a quality any good teacher must possess. In all the interactions

and transactions selected by Albom what comes out as a chief trait is empathy, an

instinctive adoption of another‘s point of view. The listener, here Albom, listens

not only to Morrie but to himself as he receives the former‘s words and also to

Morrie‘s perception of his listening.

Mitch and Morrie talk about married life on the tenth tuesday. The purpose

of marriage is to find joy in togetherness and bring forth children both of which

give a strong sense of purpose in life. Morrie has an understanding and devoted

wife Charlotte who has been helpful to him all his life. Morrie blames the current

culture in which people rush to marriage and end up in divorce in equally quick

time. He complains that the young people of the generation are too selfish to enter

a ―real loving relationship.‖ Neither do they know who they are nor their partners.

To Morrie who has been married for forty-four years with Charlotte the current

scenario is a sorrowful one. He has all along respected her feelings. ―Charlotte

might be uncomfortable with me revealing that‖ (148). Their privacy was the only

thing he held back. Albom learns the important things that sustain a marriage from

Morrie. Morrie exhorts Albom.

... there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: if

you don‘t respect the other person, you‘re gonna have a lot of trouble.

If you don‘t know how to compromise, you‘re gonna have a lot of

trouble. If you can‘t talk openly about what goes on between you,

you‘re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don‘t have a common

set of values in life, you‘re gonna have a lot of trouble (149).


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It is interesting to note that Morrie offers his remarks as commonsense wisdom.

Respect, spirit of compromise, openness and having common values are the most

essential ingredients in any interpersonal interactive space. The passage also

illustrates Morrie following what he advises. He has earlier explained the need to

allow emotions fully and then detach oneself from them. The passage quoted

proves that the words are from a man who has led an emotionally rich life and also

objectively understood it and formed a perspective through which he can educate

others.

In any multicultural society the most essential requirement is the spirit of

cooperation. The trait of extraversion needs to become dominant in such a context.

Only an extravert can freely interact with people of different cultures and

backgrounds.

The problem, Mitch, is that we don‘t believe we are as much alike

as we are. Whites and Blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and

women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager

to join in one big human family in this world, and to care about that

family the way we care about our own (156).

Extraversion is not a trait possessed only at the individual level. When we have a

society of such individuals most problems afflicting humanity will wither away.

This outgoingness first starts at the family level then moves out to the society.

Morrie knows the need to keep the balance between individuality and convention .

―The little things I obey. But the big things—how we think, what we value—those

you must choose yourself. You can‘t let anyone—or any society—determine those

for you‖ (155). Morrie is against anything that prohibits individual freedom and

there cannot be social harmony without the former.


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Morrie has always been helpful to his fellow friends, particularly students.

The care he shows to the students as a teacher stands apart as an exceptional trait.

There are any number of instances Albom is inspired by Morrie. In fact Albom‘s

Tuesdays with Morrie help him get his life straight. Before meeting Morrie,

Albom finds himself at the crossroads of life. His dying professor gives him the

most crucial lesson he needs in life. Morrie has been useful to others and he

converts his disease and certain death into situations and exper iences that would

be of use to others and society.

Amiable, friendly and outgoing Morrie has never failed in helping students.

Let it be giving all ‗A‘s to avoid deferment or entering through the window to

resolve the student problem. The authorities viewed students with suspicion even

to the extent of saying they were making bombs in the chemistry lab. But as a

teacher who has understood youth and how they think Morrie collected their

demands and submitted them to the president. We see Morrie as an exper t in

conflict resolution a domain that requires rich inter-subjectivity and multiple

cognitive structures. It is the confidence from these capabilities that gives him the

courage to enter through the window to meet the students. His confident nature

and risk taking behaviour manifest themselves in this crisis situation.

On the twelfth Tuesday Morrie and Albom discuss forgiveness. The chapter

begins with the following words from Morrie. ―Forgive yourself before you die.

Then forgive others‖ (164). Morrie recalls his failing to forgive Norman for not

visiting them when Charlotte had a serious operation. He spurned all the attempts

made by Norman at reconciliation. Norman died of cancer and Morrie lost the

opportunity to forgive his friend. Even as he is recollecting Morrie breaks down and

cries. When Albom says sorry, Morrie whispers, ―Don‘t be … Tears are okay‖ (166).


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It is one of those cultural expectations that men are not to cry. But Morrie is

different and considers tears to be the manifestation of one‘s humanity. They can

even restore humanity in people who lost touch with it. It is one of his intentions

to coach Albom in shedding tears. The wish to see everyone human and

compassionate suggests his teacher altruism that would want him to see all his

students turn into good and productive people.

To have the qualities that Morrie comes to possess one needs to be adept at

empathetic listening. Morrie has them in abundance. Albom tells us:

When Morrie was with you, he was really with you. He looked you

straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in

the world.

Then Albom goes on to quote Morrie.

I believe in being fully present ... that means you should be with the

person you‘re with. When I am talking to you now… I try to keep

focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking

about something we said last week. I am not thinking of what‘s

coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about what medications

I‘m taking (135).

A good listener naturally is a person who cares for others. Ben Knight‘s description

in his book, The Listening Reader, of the experience of reading poetry throws light

on the kind of listening Morrie talks about in the passage quoted above.

By giving ourselves to that experience… we are actually enabled

not only to assimilate meanings but also to enter into the making of

meaning as a dynamic process (45).


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Morrie can totally give himself in order to help others. He can immerse his

personal identity absolutely to take another‘s view. He becomes a participant in

the thought process in the person he is helping, a quality of an exceptional teacher.

The memoir demonstrates through Morrie the kind of education that should take

precedence over mere careerism that is the bane of university education today.

The memoir, the ―final thesis‖ ends with Albom reading a paper he wrote twenty

years ago. This happens after Morrie‘s death. When he reads his words ―Dear

coach‖ and his ―Dear player,‖ Albom misses Morrie more. Morrie‘s influence

continues. Recalling the Tuesday classes he concludes.

The subject was the meaning of life. It was taught from experience.

The teaching goes on (192).

What better way to acknowledge a teacher‘s contribution.


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