The One that Got AwayDanielle Samantha Paguila

Life is not ours to draw and have what we want to happened to us. Life is the best thing God ever gave to us to fulfill something, to experience what life’s ahead of us, meet people to complete our journey, to love someone, to experience having problems to show how we handle it, how to take care of other people, to have fear but courage is stronger than fear. We live and learn; we commit mistakes and make it right. There’s one word that no one wants to ever experience; Death. We avoid this as much as we want too. We lost someone along our journey but like what people say; Life must go on, move on but like what The Script song says; ‘How can I move on if I’m still inlove with you.’

This is my story, my story that experience Happiness, Sadness, Problems, Pain, Sacrifice and Grieve. I’m Louis William Tomlinson, 45 years old, CEO of Tomlinson Company, biggest, richest company in the world. I have fraternal twins; Harry Edward Tomlinson and Samantha Darcy Tomlinson both 22 and my second twins; Storm Chace Tomlinson and Thunder James Tomlinson both 15 years old my two twin angels, they are the one who I’ve been holding too since she’s gone 5 years ago because of Alzheimer’s Disease, my Wife; Eleanor Jane Calder-Tomlinson, my beautiful angel and Karley Louise Tomlinson, our 2 years old angel who’s with her mother now, she died because of Dravet Syndrome that cause of our downfall.

Eleanor and I met when we have our own mind; my Mom was her Mom’s bestfriend so since we’re in our Mother’s womb we were destined together. She was my playmate, my best friend and everything that I ever wanted. Eleanor is a

kind of girl who everyone wants to be, beautiful, energetic, helpful, very gullible, intelligent and very optimistic while I was the one every parents don’t want to have but my Mom was immune to my silliness. Eleanor always yelled at me and never talks to me for a month when I’ve done something wrong when we’re in high school so I’ve changed a lot for that. Her mother died when she was 7 years old because of Alzheimer’s disease. When we are two years old, her Mom don’t recognized us anymore, When Eleanor woke up every morning he would go to her Mother’s bedroom and introduce herself to her.

‘Good morning, Mommy. I’m Eleanor Jane Calder, your daughter, Mommy I promise to be successful doctor one day so that I can make you okay. I love you, Mommy.’ That was the word she always says to her Mom.

Eleanor always told me that it was hard to watch her own Mother asked her ‘Who is she?’ Eleanor has 2 eldest siblings; Chace Christopher Calder, 25 and Perrie Rose Calder, 20. Chace is the CEO of Calder Corporation and Perrie is a Lawyer, both successful. They work hard to earn money for their Mom’s medication and hospital fees. Their Mom recognized them but it’s still hard to know that she don’t know Eleanor. She forgot everything. She doesn’t know how to eat; she forgot everything that recently happen, she doesn’t know how to use the bathroom. She became useless and she acts like a newborn child. Greg, Elle’s Dad never went to his office to work hard because of her. She took every single fiber he had in his body to be strong enough to look and take care of her wife that was suffering. He clean her up, he fed her, he clean her mess when she pee, teach her how to talk, help her how to do simple things like taking a bath, show her all of their picture and tell her who are they and the most painful part I’ve ever seen is when he always tell;

‘I’m Gregory Calder, your husband. I love you Darling.’

I was proud of Elle’s Dad of how’s strong he was. I always wish that would never happen to me. When we’re 7, we were playing when Elle’s decide to wake her up to show the drawing she made. I accompany her to go to her parent’s room and wake her mother. When I look at her mother, I become nervous and I was covered with fear in me. Her mother looks pale and not breathing. I held her hands and it was cold, I’m 7 years old and have my own mind to think that she’s dead; I was intelligent to know that her Mom is not breathing anymore and Elle was too innocent to know that and still wake her Mom.

‘Mommy! Wake up. Look at my drawing.’ She woke her Mom but got no respond. I held her hands.

‘Mommy!’ She called up again.

‘Mommy!! Mommy!! Wake up!!’ She yelled, her Dad immediately sit up at her daughter’s voice that was crying, Chace and Perrie run to the room and they run to their Mother’s bed. I was there holding Elle’s hand. They try to wake her up but no respond and they start to cry and cry and cry. Elle was worst; she was yelling her Mom’s name over and over again wishing she would wake up. It pains me when I look at her. I just hug her. My tears were threatening to fall but I held it back to show that I’m strong for her. Elle was still crying in my chest. Greg carried her wife and run to their car and Chace drive while Perrie was in the driver’s seat. Elle and I were in the back.

‘Daddy. She’s gonna wake up, right? She promised me to play Dress up with me.’ Little Elle asked her Dad. Her Dad burst in fits of sobs when he heard his daughter asked him that when he don’t know if his wife will wake up or not. Chace held back his tears because he was driving but you can see that he was in pain and Perrie was sobbing loudly. Greg didn’t answer Elle and she look at me.

‘Louis, she will wake up right? She promised me too that she will dress me up, do my make up for our wedding when we grow up, right?’ She looks at me with tears flowing from her face. I can’t stop my tears anymore and they free from falling, I just hug her tight and like her father, I can’t find my word to tell her the answer. We arrived at the hospital and they put her Mom in the bed and wheel her to the ER. We waited for hours and that was the longest hour I have. When the Doctor walks to us, he looks with sympathy in Elle’s Dad.

‘I’m sorry; you’re wife died cause of Brain Clogged.’ The doctor said and they all burst into loud sobs. I look at Elle who was crying out so loud.

That day forward, I promised to be the best Doctor when I grow up so I can heal every person who’s sick.

After her mother died, we can’t talk to her, she was holding her doll that her Mom gave to her. I was always at her side that day.

When we were 10 years old, our love with Music started. Eleanor has an amazing voice. We started to compose lyrics and make a tune for it. I love to sing and plays guitar. It’s started into hobbit when few of our family witness our little performance. They capture a video of us and send it to a talent show and we got in. Our first song together was ‘Lucky’ by Jason Mraz and Colbie. We won that night, people want us to join bigger contest but we refused them because we want to study hard for our future. I decided to be a Brain Doctor while Elle decide she want to be a nurse. She like to take care of people because she didn’t have the strength to take care of her mother.

When we graduate in Grade School, I was the Valedictorian and Elle was the Salutatorian. We both don’t care who rank the top. We share each other knowledge because we want to pursue our dream.

When we’re in High School, I became more troublemaker than I was in Grade School. I always prank the teachers, skip class because I was influence by my new friends. Elle and I start to fight because of my doings. She never look at me and never notice me. She always study. I realized that I promised her that together we will reach our dream. I apologized to her and one thing I love about Elle is that she forgives too easily. One sorry is enough.

I became more behave when we were sophomores. I study in advance about Alzheimer’s disease because that was the thing I want to know more. I found out that it has no cure. Everyone was devastated when Elle’s Mom died. She’s the role of a perfect Mother. She treat me like her own son.

I never knew that I developed a crush on Elle when we’re in Third Year. She looks so beautiful like her Mom. She got all the features of her Mom. Elle has brown eyes like a chocolate and brown curly hair; I have green eyes and brown hair, hard jaw and thin lips.

I asked her to prom and she said yes. Elle and I were inseparable. We always together in everything we do. We always got an A+ in our subjects. We both tutored each other in our weakness. When Prom came, Elle looks stunning in her floor length baby pink spaghetti strap gown that flows elegantly to her feet with a diamond in the chest area. She up do her hair that tiny strand of her hangs in each side of her face. A light make up and she looks so beautiful.

She was the highlight of the night because of her dress. She looks really stunning and every guy wouldn’t miss to look at her. She was a quiet person who never wants to gain friend because she said I was enough for her. She was the sweetest person ever. She won the Prom Queen and I was the Prom King. That day she was notice by student and she freak out because she was not into people looking at her. I become more protective of her because guys start to talk to her and I scare them away from her. We always stay in library to study and take lunch together.

When we’re senior, things went wrong when Elle’s almost drown during our Class Fieldtrip. We were by the lake when she was in the shore and suddenly her feet slip and she accidentally slip into the deep side of water and she doesn’t know how to swim. I was in our room when one of my classmate run to me and said that Elle almost drown. I run into the shore when an unconscious Elle was in the sand. My heart shut down when I saw her. I run into her because I know CPR. I try to pump his chest and give her air through the mouth, after two attempts, still nothing, I was crying so hard because I don’t know what to do, I didn’t give up on her and try again. My third attempt when she cough water, I hug her so tight that day and promised myself not to take my eyes off her, she’s a certified klutz and a danger magnet.

That was the scariest thing I ever had in my life. She asked me not to tell her father about it and being a sucker for her puppy look I agreed. I never let go of Elle that day, I decide to go home but she don’t want too because she want to ride the London Eye and sight see in London.

‘Life is short, make everything out of it’. I saw that in one of a stand in the London Eye. Since that day, I always make sure that Elle and I have the most memorable things in our life. When she almost died during our Fieldtrip, I realized that I love her so much. I promised to myself that when we graduate in High School, I’ll confess to her. I asked her Dad about this and he’s fine with it because he saw how I care about her daughter. He loves Elle because he reminds her of her lost wife. Her Dad was seeing another girl, he asked first her children if it’s okay with them and they are okay with them.

One time in our senior year when I met Harry, Niall, Zayn and Liam, they are my classmate in my Music Class. Eleanor takes Dance Class and met her bestfriend Danielle. We were assigned to write our original composition of our song and we will perform it on our Fair night. I compose lyrics with Elle as my inspiration to the lyrics I wrote.

It was the night of our Fair night. Four hours till our performance. Elle and I decide to roam around the Fair ground. We decide to ride in the rollercoaster, Cyclopes and a lot more thrilling rides. We came in one booth where there is a sloth bear in there. Elle love Ice Age and love Sid. It was a shoot 3 running monkey to get it. I try for it and my first 3 attempt failed, I never give it up and try and try, Elle was at my side cheering for me. After 9 attempts I finally got it, I gave to Elle who looks like she wins lottery, it was worth it all. We passed by the Carousel and Elle being a child at heart decides to ride the Carousel, we were laughing so hard and capture photos. We were laughing, goofing, and eating lots of corn. We decide to go the photo booth and slid into it and pose. We were just laughing and click of camera was heard. It was 5 photo in 1 strip, we took our own copy when Liam texted me that we need to prepare. I held Elle’s hand and went to the stage where we will be performing.

I went backstage to rehearse our song; Elle was with Danielle and Darcy in front row. It was our time to sing and went to the stage and I just look at Elle who was smiling at me, I will ask her to be my girlfriend today, after our performance I will ask Elle to ride the Ferris wheel. Liam will sing the first verse, we were standing in line, we decide to make it acoustic. We were standing when we tell who we dedicate this song.

Harry came first and that he dedicate this song to Darcy, her girlfriend. Liam said Danielle, Niall said to his food and his family that we laughed about the food thing, Zayn said to himself which make himself vain and when its me, I just look straight into Elle’s eyes.

‘To Eleanor Jane Calder.’ I said and point at her and smile. The first tune came and Liam starts.

"One Thing"

[Liam]I've tried playing it coolBut when I'm looking at youI can’t ever be brave'Cause you make my heart race

Liam went to Danielle and gives her 3 red roses and a bear. And sit on the edge of the stage singing to her while holding her hand.

[Harry]Shot me out of the skyYou're my kryptoniteYou keep making me weakYeah, frozen and can't breathe

Harry jumps to the stage and knelt down in front of Darcy and gives her 3 white roses and sing to her and kiss her cheeks when she was done.

[Zayn]Something’s gotta give now'Cause I’m dying just to make you seeThat I need you here with me now'Cause you've got that one thing

Zayn went and get a mirror and 3 roses and while he was singing he give the roses to himself which the crowd and us bust into laughter’s. Only Zayn will do that.

[Chorus]So get out, get out, get out of my headAnd fall into my arms insteadI don't, I don't, don't know what it isBut I need that one thingAnd you've got that one thing

[Niall]Now I'm climbing the wallsBut you don't notice at allThat I'm going out of my mindAll day and all night

Niall knelt down to the tray of McDonald’s and singing, we burst into fits looking at him when Sandy, our lead guitar take it away and run and eat it which Niall run after him while singing. The crowd went nuts.

[Louis]Something’s gotta give now'Cause I'm dying just to know your nameAnd I need you here with me now'Cause you've got that one thingI recover from my laughing fits and went to Eleanor, take her hand and walk to the stage while singing at her and

the boys and me went infront of her and give her a blue rose.

[Chorus]So get out, get out, get out of my headAnd fall into my arms insteadI don't, I don't, don't know what it isBut I need that one thing

So get out, get out, get out of my mindAnd come on, come into my lifeI don't, I don't, don't know what it isBut I need that one thingAnd you've got that one thing

Woah-oh-oh-ohWoah-oh-oh-ohWoah-oh-oh-oh

[Harry]You've got that one thing

[Louis]Get out, get out, get out of my headAnd fall into my arms instead

[Chorus]So get out, get out, get out of my headAnd fall into my arms insteadI don't, I don't, don't know what it isBut I need that one thing

So get out, get out, get out of my mind (out of my mind)And come on, come into my lifeI don't, I don't, don't know what it isBut I need that one thingYeah, you've got that one thing

The crowd was jumping up and down and dancing. The applause and standing ovation from the crowd was overwhelming. After we perform, I went down and get Elle’s hand and lead her to the Ferris Wheel, it was 11:57 in the evening and the fireworks will display exactly at 12. We went to the ticket booth and when it start we were just laughing with our last performance and when we reach the top, the ride stop at the top.

‘Elle, we’ve been friends since God knows when and since I’ve met you, no other girls caught my eyes. I felt this pull with you when we’re in high school when you always at my side, always bring me lunch, when I’m sad you do silly things just to make me laugh. I was afraid to court you because I promise your Dad to court you when we graduate in College. Your Dad seems to love me a lot because he scares all the guys who want to court you.’ I chuckles and she look at me in disbelief.

‘All this time, I thought no one likes me!’ She exclaimed. I burst in laughter’s and she glared at him, I kissed her cheeks.

‘Sorry, Shorty. That was your Dad’s fault. May I continue my oh-so-great-confession?’ she nod and laughed at me.

‘Well, now that we’re finishing High School, I promised myself to court you and this is the time.’ I said and bring out the ring I bought last week. She looked at it and she was thinking I was proposing at her.

‘I’m not proposing, Shorty! It’s just a promise ring.’ I laugh at her flush face.

‘So, can you do the honor and be my Officially Best Friend, Girlfriend and soon to be wife?’ I asked and she bursts in sobbing fits and I wiped her tears that fall from her face.

‘Of course! Idiot, I’ve been waiting for you to confess to me!’ She said and hugs me. When all of the suddenly a fireworks came to the view and we stared in awe when it was shaped as a heart. I look at her and smile.

That memory was one of my best memories ever. I still remember how she looks so flushed when she saw the promise ring.

We graduated in High School and she was the Valedictorian and I was the Salutatorian. We have a big celebration because of that. We are all proud of her. That start the time when she always tell me that her head is aching, I look at her and asked her what she’s feeling and she told me she’s okay but the fear in me stays. I wish she didn’t inherits her Mother sickness because if it is, I don’t know what to do if that happens to Elle.

College days, I decide to take first my Psychology course because I want to study people’s behavior while Elle take first his Caregiving course. We study hard for this but we still have time for each other. College is more serious than High School, it was hard and I’m trying to have my grade in A’s. Relationships are not perfect. There are times when we both fight because we don’t have any time to each other, we avoid each other for a week then we reconcile and decide to buy a studio type condominium for ourselves. Our parents are cool with it and they have trust in us.

We survived First and Second Year in College with a good start and lots of A’s. Liam, Harry, Niall and Zayn were still my friends and after our performance in our High School years became famous. Someone upload it in YouTube and its went viral and people start to sign us up to be their new singer, producer align to take us and offer us a recording contract for the whole summer and we agreed to it, we became famous but when college start we decide to take care of our study first but still records and compose songs and lyrics. I can still focus on my study and my parents were okay with it as long as it will not distract our study. Danielle, Darcy and Eleanor were still best friends. Eleanor was okay with me still playing with my music. Sometimes, she composed song; she’s a great composer and great with words. One time she wrote a song dedicated to her mother, I help her made a tune for it, it was her Mother’s 47 th birthday and we visit her grave and sing she wing it while I play it with Niall’s guitar. We were crying at sight of Elle while she’s singing.

Third Year in College and it’s the time were we will take our On-Job Training, I was assigned to mental ward while Elle was assigned to an elderly care hospital which she encounter a 59 years old Carla who is suffering from and Alzheimer’s Disease. She was telling me about Carla when I was thinking if it’s a sign that Elle’s having one. I just push it away and think it was just a coincident but Elle’s a bit forgetful sometimes and I wish it was nothing serious.

She was crying every time Carla’s Family visit and Carla never realized every single of her family, she even want to play dolls with her own granddaughter, She was crying because it was like she was her mother, every time that Carla was having a massive headache and her eyes getting blurred, Elle’s always take care of her, there this time when she told me that Carla used to draw a face that looks like her husband when they were still 20 years old. She cared for Carla like she’s her own grandma. She was crying when she told me that every time Carla was peeing, she doesn’t feel it, Elle just clean it and changed her, I recommend to her to just let Carla wore a diaper, she agreed with me, Carla always looks happy whenever she saw toys, she’s not talking all the time, she looks like a newborn child that doesn’t have any idea around her, Elle fed her because she don’t know how to fed herself, it was heartbreaking whenever she tell me a story of Carla, she stay there for a year, she cried when she told me it was her last day, she decide to say goodbye to Carla when she decide to wake her up, Carla was not moving and breathing, she was a crying mess because she felt it was her Mother all over again, I went to the hospital and support Elle, she love Carla like her own grandma. She never attends the burial because she doesn’t have the courage to do it and after a month she recovers from it and moves on.

It was our graduation when we all gather together, I was the magma Cumlaude and she was the cum laude of her Department.

Elle and I was blessed with a Fraternal Twins, it was not plan but we still happy for it, we stop for a year for Elle’s pregnancy but I still pursue my Doctorate Degree; major in Neurology. I never missed taking care of Elle’s condition, Danielle graduated as an Ob-gyn and she was our Doctor. I was studying about Human Brain because I want to specialize on it, I want to learn more things for it, I studied non-stop for me to learn more.

Having a pregnant girlfriend is hard because of her, First was her mood-swing; we always fight in silly things, she get angry for no reason and here’s one thing, she’s been pinching my cheeks all day ‘till its swollen, there’s one time when I was cooking and she start to pinch my arms, legs, cheeks and pull my hair, she’s a sadist, I was a battered boyfriend. Every time I remember it, I was laughing at that memory. Second was her Weird Eating Habit; I was studying for Midterms when she walk to me and demand a Jelly that is not a Jelly Ace, I called Harry, Liam, Zayn and Niall to help me look for it, Where in the world of London will I find a Jelly that is not a Jelly Ace?! We were looking for it at nine in the evening for four hours! We want to give up when Harry found a Jelly that was Konjac Jelly. I still remember that day.

We were looking around London when Harry called me and we went where he is, we taste it and dip it in the sauce, we ordered 30 pieces of it because Niall ate 9 of it and we ate it and its delicious. We went home when there’s a flying

shoes that comes to our way that smack on our faces, we drop to the ground to miss the flying shoes that my girlfriend was throwing. We were scared big time. Never make a pregnant woman angry and waiting. She was throwing us a shoes while saying.

‘I’ve waited for you for 5 hours and you make me worried because you’re still not home!’ She scream at me while she was crying, I look at my clock and it’s true, we spend 5 hours to find that stupid Jelly! The boys gave me the Konjac Jelly than run away! Some friends I have. I dunk the shoes went flying to me.

‘Babe, we were looking for your Jelly, here it is.’ I told her and show her the bag of Jellies and her eyes lights up and I breathe in relief when she went to me and kiss my cheeks. I bought everything a pregnant woman would ask, one time she asked me for a pickle and peanut butter with Jelly, and it doesn’t taste good. That was one of the memory I always treasure.

We both went to Danielle to check the Baby’s condition. Elle’s was 5 months and her belly was bigger than 5 months has to be. Danielle put some gel on Elle’s tummy and checks for the baby and the greatest news I ever heard was when she told me I’m having a Fraternal Twins. I was planning on proposing to her after the babies were born.

Four months of pregnancy and my 1st semester was done. It was hard for her because she’s carrying two babies inside her. I search about what to do when you have a pregnant wife, I did it all, from exercise to diet. She always yell at me every morning when I cook and sing. Her face was priceless every time I remember it.

I was cooking and singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star because based on my study, singing while the baby is in the womb made them smart when they grow up but Elle’s hate it.

‘Twinkle, twinkle, little starHow I wonder what you are.Up above the world so highLike a diamond in the skyTwinkle, twinkle, little starHow I wonder what you are!’

I sing it repeatedly while cooking for breakfast. Elle’s was sitting at the chair slapping her hands on her ears. I take her hands off to her ears.

‘Don’t close your ears, our babies won’t hear it.’ I told her and she looks at me with fire in her eyes. What did I do?!

‘Why are you singing? It’s annoying!’ She said.

‘It’s good for the babies, so that when they were born, they’ll be smart.’ I reason out to her.

‘Where did you read that?’ She asked. I picked my iPad where my research was.

‘Here. I researched it.’ I told her and resume on singing and cooking and a spoon went flying and hit my head. I look at my girlfriend wide eyes. Did she just hit me with a spoon?

‘Did you just?’ I ask her who was grinning ear to ear.

‘Yes.’ She giggled.

I smile when I remember that day. After a year our twins was born, my experience during that was terrifying, she was gripping my hands so tight it might break but I try to show that I was strong and she was crying because of the pain, I kiss her forehead repeatedly just to ease the pain, I want her to have a CS Delivery but she insist on having a normal delivery so we just agree with her. After 30 minutes, our baby boy was born first than our baby girl.

After they clean them, they transfer Elle to a private room; we name our babies; Harry Edward Tomlinson and Samantha Darcy Tomlinson. Harry was 2 minutes before Darcy. My angels were complete and I’m happy.

Life with Elle and my angel was the best gift God ever gave me. Every single day with them was my happiness. After 5 months I proposed to Elle and it was my happiest moment. I don’t know but this year has been great for us. They had their First Birthday and it was a blast. Everyone was there and we all enjoy it. There this time when my On Job Training came and I really want to go to New York because that’s the best to train for my specialization and it’s a year but having your own family, I’m having second thought but Elle’s persuading me to just go with it because she can take care of the boys and our parents will help her and it’s my dream. So against my will, I just went with it. I pursue and work hard for this because this is for my family. One year is hard because I miss them, we Skype every day and I’m visiting during my off and every 5 times a month. It was during my 5 months stay there when they suddenly appear, I was at hospital when my operation was done, I walk down the stairs and my two twins came running to me, I stand there shock and I move when they yelled Dada. I didn’t miss their first walk because Elle and I were doing a Skype when they walk and I witness it and as a father, it was a prize for me, I was smiling ear to ear in my entire duty. They are here in London until my training is done, it was so great, I miss them so much and I changed my duty to 8 – 8 so that I get too see my angels. We take the kid out and enjoy their selves around New York. A Year came to end and I’ve learn a lot on my training. I graduated as Suma Cumlaude in Neurology Department and the twins are two years old. We were 23 when we get married and after a month, Elle’s got pregnant, we didn’t expect the kid but we still take care of her. It was 8 months when she was born, yes, we had a girl. When Karley was born she was not breathing for 10 minutes the doctors revived her and she finally cried, Elle’s have a CS Delivery because the child was early to come, I was so nervous and crying because they try to survive Karley, she have a weak heart and they incubate her. We name her Karley Louise Tomlinson. We were happy with her; she’s perfect, sweet and a smiley baby. Everyone loves her but every good things end and bad things occur.

At 3 ½ months old, Karley had her first seizure. We were playing with her when her hand jerks and Karley shaking, like she was cold. She wouldn’t stop and it seemed to last forever, Elle was crying because we didn’t know what to do, we called our parents to look for Harry and Darcy who was still three and didn’t know what happening to Karley, I immediately carry Karley and put her to the car, she was shaking, I don’t know what to do, I was crying because my daughter’s pain, her mouth was open because she can’t breathe, she’s having her seizure for 45 minutes and her fever was 103. The doctor injects Karley a medicine and she stop shaking after that and went to sleep. The doctor told us that we need to performed a lumbar puncture, CT scan, blood tests, EEG, etc. All of the tests came back normal, so we left frustrated without a definitive diagnosis. This was the first of many trips to the ER for Karley. To date, she’s been transported to the ER at least 15 times since her first seizure and has required intubation on three occasions. We’ve had to call 911 for most of her episodes because the rescue medication we have to administer to stop her seizures slows her respiration and requires skilled medical professionals to resuscitate her if she stops breathing. Her episodes started getting progressively worse over the next several months; the episodes started occurring weekly, lasting 20-30 minutes, and the convulsions would originate on her left side, shift to the right side, and then generalize across both sides her body.

I passed my Licensure Examination and decide to take care of my daughter’s condition; we went to New York and ask for help to my professor to help my daughter.

Following another long, 20 min. plus episode, she was admitted to the EMU and hooked up to the video EEG. The next morning she had a two minute episode and it was confirmed that she was having seizures all along, so we were devastated and relieved at the same time. We were told that they appear to be focal seizures since all of the convulsions started on the same side and she could grow out of them or in the worst case, brain surgery was an option if they failed to control the seizures with Antiepileptic Drugs (AEDs). At this point, we had gone from it’s not epilepsy, to it is epilepsy, and now we’ll just have to wait and see if she’ll grow out of it. The thought of her having to take medication for the rest of her life and/or having a portion of her brain removed before the age of five was tough for us to accept initially, but we did because there was still a glimmer of hope that she would be able to live a normal life. After she started her first AED, Phenobarbital, she had a few episodes and then was seizure free for over a month. We were excited because she seemed

healthy and happy and it appeared that the worst of this was behind us. We refer to this point in Karley’s life as the calm before the storm. It wasn’t behind us, it was just the beginning.

When Karley was 9 months old, she had a long status episode that rendered her unable to use her right arm for 4

hours (Todd’s Paralysis). We were really confused at this point and were told that it is not uncommon for kids with epilepsy to have loss of motor function following a long seizure. Like clockwork, Karley started having long status episodes every two weeks. She was given two additional AEDs in an attempt to slow down the frequency and severity of the seizures, but adding medication seemed to make things worse. Given her tendency to have status episodes, we were on strict orders to give her the rescue medication when the seizure started, wait five minutes, give her the second dose, and then call 911. This vicious cycle continued for a couple of months and a defining moment in her journey propelled us to take a stand and not take “we don’t know” or “we’ll have to wait and see” for an answer.

That moment was on a Saturday afternoon in March. We heard Karley choking on the monitor while taking a nap

and rushed upstairs. She was having a full blown, tonic clonic seizure in her crib. She was salivating so much during the seizure that it was choking her, so we had to remove the saliva from her airway until the paramedics arrived. She had drooled during previous seizures, but not as profusely as this one. She didn’t respond to the rescue medication initially and turned blue due to the lack of oxygen. During the panic, Harry and Darcy sat in the corner of the room crying as they watched strange people come into her house and take her sister away in the ambulance again. The paramedics had to manually intubate her in the ambulance to get her oxygen saturation back to normal. The look of helplessness and fear in my wife’s eyes and the tear that dropped from his face as he hugged me before leaving with Karley in the ambulance unleashed a series of emotions in me that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. Not knowing if your child will be alive when you get to the hospital is the second worst feeling one can experience outside of it actually happening. I was crying non-stop because of what Karley’s experiencing as a father it was hard for me to see your daughter facing and feel this kind of pain, Elle was worse she was crying and crying and just hug Karley’s tight.

Karley’s case was assigned to an epileptologist following the episode in March. I demanded genetic testing for Karley and much to my surprise, the request was granted. She was started on another AED with Phenobarbital after this visit and continued to have seizures. Up to this point on her journey, she had only had partial complex and tonic clonic seizures. After she started the new AED, the seizures started to come in different forms; tonic, absence, myoclonic, etc. Around her 1st birthday, she started having frequent eyelid myoclonus, so we took her in for a 48 hour video EEG. Much to her doctor’s surprise, she had developed an epileptic encephalopathy and was quickly put on steroids to counteract the epileptiform activity depicted on her EEG. The steroid treatment halted her clinical seizure activity and brought her sharp wave activity back to acceptable levels. It was almost too good to be true and as it is with most things in life, it was.

On May 31st after three months of torture waiting on the genetic testing results, we were informed that Karley has

Dravet Syndrome. As one can imagine, we felt heartbroken, angry, confused, and in denial all in one wave of emotion. Karley was only 1 year old; we have many plans and dreams for her. When you look at Karley, you can’t see sadness in her, she’s laughing, playing, smiling and still the very sweet child she is.

I took care of her, every time she have her seizure, she salivating and shaking I just hug her and wiping the saliva that coming from her mouth, we were crying, I inject her medicines to stop her from having seizure, I’m plasting a fake strong façade while everyone was crying. It was hard to breathe when your 3 years old twins asked you.

‘Daddy. What happening to Karley?’

They asked that when I can’t answer because I can’t accept her sickness. We always confine Karley to the hospital when she’s having a seizure. Life is hard because of this, I’ve never been like this, I was crying every night, searching for something to cure my child, my Neurologist team studied her sickness and looking for a cure for her.

We discover this medicine that can stop her seizure for 5 months. We decide to test it to my daughter, it was successful, and Karley didn’t have her seizure for 5 months. We were happy because she lives normally for it. Harry and

Darcy always ask us why we are locking time with them. I just told them that we need to take care of Karley because she’s fragile.

The most painful and horrifying moment in my life came when we’re having fun. We’re at a beach for the twins’ 5th birthday and Karley was 2 years old. We were having time. The twins are in the pool swimming, they both know Karley’s Sickness and they both take care of her. I’m at the edge of the pool sitting at one of the stairs while Karley’s thumping her feet and hands in the water and Elle was recording us.

‘Who do you love most, baby?’ I asked Karley while Elle was recording us.

‘Daddy, Mommy, Harry and Darcy’ she said smiling at the camera. It was a precious moment.

‘What do you want to say to Daddy?’

‘I love you Daddy. I miss you.’ She exclaimed and hugs me and kisses my cheeks repeatedly. I hug her. It was perfect..

Except around 12:20 in the midnight when she have her seizures, Harry and Darcy wipe the saliva from her mouth while crying. When we’re in the hospital I was talking to the Doctors while carrying a shaking Karley. They went inside and inject Karley’s to stop her from her seizures.

I was hugging Harry, Darcy and Elle when Karley began crying.

‘Daddy! Daddy!’ She called out for me. I ran to her and hug her.

‘Sssh baby! Daddy’s here’ I cooed at her and the three was crying watching us. I suppress my tears from falling.

‘Daddy. They scares me.’ Karley said.

‘They won’t hurt you, I’ll be here.’ I said and tears fall freely from my eyes. I’m praying to God to give us strength. Suddenly, Karley’s arms and head fell. My heart beating fast and wishing it was not real.

‘Karley! Karley, wake up!’ Elle shake Karley and she’s not responding. She burst into another tears and Harry and Darcy called the doctor, they were hugging each other.

The doctor check Karley’s eyes and he signed to one of the nurse and the nurse came back with Deliberator. I was crying and whisper to God ‘No, not my angel.’

‘Charge to one fifty.’ She said and put it to Karley’s chest and it jerk up. After 5 tries, they stop and look at us and shake his head.

‘Time of death 2:45 Am’ He said and Harry, Darcy and Elle break down, Elle run to Karley and hug her, it was heartbreaking when she’s calling Karley’s name.

I punch the wall. Why would they take her away? Why my angel?! I was crying. I wish I was numb and can’t hear anything that when I wake up, my Karley’s still here and kiss me.

It’s funny how I was hugging her a while ago and now they announce that she’s gone. It hurts; it’s too painful to bear.

That was the painful memories I have in my life. My angel was gone. Elle and I never left Karley’s coffin, we decide to have a 3 days burial because we can’t take it if we made it longer. People can’t talk to us. I’m not speaking that time; I

was still in my own world, hearing my angel’s laughter, calling me daddy, hugging me. I can’t move on. It’s hurt. When it was time to bury her, we didn’t move, we look like a statue but when the coffin was going down, I breakdown.

‘KARLEY!!’ I yelled and run to her coffin and hug it, Liam and Zayn held me back.

‘Daddy’s here, Karley. Come on. I’m here.’ I cried and yelled. Everyone burst into tears, the sound of crying was the music.

It was one week since I can’t seem to move on but my children confront me that let go, move on. We still bless because Karley’s didn’t need to prolong her pain. It was hard without Karley but we need move on and live our life because there’s still my twins but we never forgot our once angel but she will be forever my number one angel.

One year since Karley’s gone. The twins were 6 years old. We still miss her but us still moving on. We were in our backyard, me with the twins playing soccer and Elle’s just watching us and filming the scene, ever since Karley’s dead, we decide to film every beautiful moment with each other. We play, goof just having fun. When we’re done, we took our shower, after I took my shower; Elle was walking around the room looking for something. She went to the bathroom and look for the unknown thing she’s looking for while I changed into my PJ’s. Elle was running to me when I was about to lie down on our bed bringing a stick, to be exact it was a pregnancy test.

‘Louis! Louis! Look, I forgot that I took my Pregnancy test yesterday but yes, I’m pregnant.’ She told me. I just look at that stick that has 2 lines.

‘Wow, well what are you looking for a while go then?’ I asked.

‘Ooh. My phone, I don’t know where it is.’ I stare at her. She’s lately being forgetful and having headache, I want to check on that but she’s too stubborn to have her check-up.

‘Babe, you’re phone was in your study table, you gave it to me and tell me to charge it there a while ago.’ She curiously looks at me and went to check if it’s there.

‘Oh yes. I did tell you that. Well, c’mon lets sleep.’ She told me and went to lie down with, we were about to sleep when there’s a knock on our door.

‘Daddy! Open the door.’ Darcy scream at door, yes they are nine years old yet they always sleep in our room. I built a big house yet they always use our bedroom to sleep.

‘We’re sleeping.’ I scream back.

‘Oh, c’mon, Harry, they’re sleeping.’ I chuckle at Darcy who didn’t thought that you can’t talk when you’re asleep. I heard a slap, I think Harry slap his twin’s back head.

‘Dad, open the door, you can’t talk if you’re asleep.’ Harry screams at the door. Harry is a smart guy and very handsome like me, yes, I name her after my bestfriend, Harry.

‘Open seseme!’ Darcy yelled then giggled. I stood up and went to open the door. I was about to open my mouth when Harry beats me to it.

‘I know what you will gonna say, Dad. ‘I built a big house for you, guys but you still end up sleeping in our bedroom.’ He said and imitates my voice.

‘No, I was gonna say you will sleep in the floor!’ I say.

‘Pfft! No, I will sleep beside Mom.’ He stuck his tongue at me and walks to our bed and lay and hug his Mom. I went and lay beside my baby girl, Darcy. We drift into our own dream.

Harry is really like Harry, my friend. One time, he asked me this.

We we’re eating breakfast when he asked me.

‘Dad, why am I so handsome?’ He asked me. I look at him skeptically.

‘Seriously, how many air and electric fans do you have in your body?’ I asked him.

I laughed at that memory; he really is full of himself. We always argue in the silliest thing. Elle and I fought because she don’t want to have her general check-up and insisting that she’s fine but I told her that she has a baby inside her. We didn’t acknowledge each other for days, I didn’t argue on her because she’s pregnant, I wait for days for her to think about it. I was sitting in our couch when Elle’s went to sit beside me and held my hands. She said that she decide to have her general check-up today, I was so happy when I heard that. We got ready that time when I heard a thud in the bathroom, I run fast there to see Elle sitting on the floor clutching the top of her head.

‘What are you doing? What happened?’ I asked her and stand her up.

‘I was looking for my comb, have you seen it?’ She asked me and I look at her in disbelief. I get the comb in the back of her hair and give it to her; she always told me that sometimes her eyes get blurry but she’s fine, she always say she’s fine. When we’re both ready we went outside and slid into my car, the twins were at my parents’ house. Elle is 8 months pregnant now. We sign up the information about her. Like her age was 29 years old. One of my best professors when I was having my training here was Dr. Collins; I help him checking up on Elle. I put on my white coat and proceed to her test. Elle put on her hospital gown and lay down on the bed. We’re doing a MRI and CT scan.

After the test, Elle dress back up and I got some blood sample on her to Dr. Collins further check up on it. We were asking to go back next week for the result. Our life was turn upside down when we came back at the hospital and I wish I’ll be deaf and numb for that result day. Dr. Collins tell us about the result, he gave me the result of her MRI and CT scan and as a Doctor I can easily read it and my hunch before were all true.

‘Analyzing your MRI and CT scan, and the result shows that an abnormal protein has clogged up the veins in your brain affecting your brain cells. I’m certain the cause is largely genetics. I may say this is a very rare case, this is the first time I’ve encounter someone like you. You have an Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer’s is hereditary or effect of getting old but your 29 so that makes it very rare because you’re still young.’

Hearing those words breaks my heart knowing that I can’t do anything for it. There’s no cure for that sickness, there’s only medication that prolongs someone’s life. Elle was crying because she can’t seem to accept it.

‘Louis. It’s not true, right?’ She asked me as tears fall down to her eyes. My tongue tied and can’t speak.

‘Will I die?’ She asked us and the tears I’ve been holding fell down. It’s hard to accept that after Karley’s death, here’s another problem we were facing. We didn’t answer her question because we didn’t even know when.

‘Dr. Collins, explain to me what was this sickness all about. My mom died because of this, how did I get it?’ She asked Dr. Collins.

‘You inherit it to your mother and when the baby was born, never breastfeed her anymore.’

‘Will my baby inherit this too?’

‘There’s a tiny chance with it. I will prescribe some medicines and vitamins for you. Consult your ob-gyn.’

‘Can you tell me more about my sickness?’

‘Elle, you don’t need to.’ I told her, it will be hard on her to accept about it.

‘Louis, I want too.’ She said. I held her hands and listen to Dr. Collins. I know this disease and its worse when you know that you have it.

‘I asked you a question last week if you feel any stress or any breakdown that made you black out.’ Elle fainted after Karley’s burial.

‘That question I asked were to diagnosed dementia. You have a metal death before the physical one Medicine can it slow it down but that only will longer your life but not cure the disease.’ Dr. Collins said.

‘What were the stages of my disease?’ Elle asked. This is the most painful part.

‘The first stage was that you will easily forget things you recently did, can’t find your things you’re looking for, can’t drive, forget simple things, forget conversations details, you can get lost and forgot sense of direction, you forgot recipes whenever you cook. Second stage is where you can’t solve problems; you forgot your family and friends, Rambling speech, unusual reasoning, and confusion about current events, time, and place and more likely you become lost in familiar settings, experience sleep disturbances, and changes in mood and behavior, which can be aggravated by stress and change. You may also experience delusions, aggression, and uninhibited behavior. Mobility and coordination is affected by slowness, rigidity, and tremors. You need structure, reminders, and assistance with the activities of daily living. The third stage was confused about past and present. Loss of ability to remember, communicates, or process information, generally incapacitated with severe to total loss of verbal skills, unable to care for self like you forgot how to go to the bathroom to pee, shower, falls possible and immobility likely, problems with swallowing, incontinence, and illness, extreme problems with mood, behavior, hallucinations, and delirium. In this stage, the person will need round the clock intensive support and care. You will like a newborn child that can’t do anything. You forgot everything.’

‘Alzheimer’s disease life span is half of the age span of a girl. Girl age span is up to 80 years old, Alzheimer’s disease has half of it that means you have half of 80 if you don’t have any complication.’ Dr. Collins said. I look at Elle and pain all over her face. I was in tears looking at her.

By that time, Elle’s was crying non-stop, trying to sink everything in. As her husband, it was hard to look at your wife. It was heartbreaking. I hug her and tell her that everything will be alright even though you can’t even accept it too. We thanks Dr. Collins for everything and tell us to come back for her medications. I was trying to calm Elle’s down. That time, we were facing the biggest problem in our life. I thought Karley’s death was the biggest downfall on us but I never thought that these will the biggest and hardest thing to do. I will try everything to make this through. Alzheimer’s don’t have cure, as sooner as it is, I need to accept that one day Elle’s will be with my little angel soon but right now, I need to process everything.

Elle was 5 months when Danielle told us we’re having twins, both boys. We were really careful with Elle’s health. The baby was normal and active. I didn’t let Elle do anything besides sitting and sleeping. After a month, Storm Chace Tomlinson and Thunder James Tomlinson were born very healthy. Elle’s still undergoing her medication. We still can’t accept about her disease. I take extremely care for her health. Every 2 weeks, Elle’s have her medication.

Elle start to forget things like when she was cooking, she forgot what recipes and step in cooking sweet and sour pork. She forgot things. I assigned Niall, Liam, Zayn and Harry to take over our company, we decide to build our own company, and we’re now License Neurologist. We studied Elle’s health, they help me with everything. I filled an indefinite leave at the office and they took care on my work. Chace and James were my boys; Harry and Darcy love them so much. They took care of them. The kids were healthy.

After a year, Thunder and Storm were 1 year old and Harry and Darcy were 7 years old. Elle’s was now 30 and she forget simple thing, she can’t even cook because she can’t remember things. I took care of everything. I help her in cooking sometimes and help her remember the recipes, I wrote everything she need to remember in a sticky note in every corner of the house, like when the phone rings what she will do, the recipes of her favorite meal, her birthday, everything she need to remember. The twins 1st birthday, I organized everything that time. Elle forgot their birthday, she cried for hours because she forgot it but Harry and Darcy have their own mind and they know what going on, especially Harry, he’s and excellent kid, she’s 7 yet she advance in Grade School. He help me taking care of Elle, He study about Alzheimer’s too, it’s unbelievable how genius he is, he help Elle while Darcy takes care of the Thunder and Storm and I studied about the medication of Elle. Harry, Liam, Niall, Zayn and I were taking care every time Elle have her medication.

Thunder and Storm’ Birthday came and it was a blast. Everything was great and people having fun. I filmed everything. Elle was smiling ear to ear, she kissed her 2 twins a lot and she always says how much she loves us. Everything was cool except for Elle’s attack.

I promised myself to be prepared and ready for the second stage but I never thought that I really can’t. Two years after; Harry and Darcy were 8 and Thunder and Storm were 2 years old, I was the one who wake Elle up, I was the one who take Elle to bath, I cook while she take care of the Thunder and Storm , she still look normal and can remember things.

Dr. Collins and my team decide to take four medications that are approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to treat Alzheimer’s. Donepezil (Aricept®), rivastigmine (Exelon®), and galantamine (Razadyne®) are used to treat mild to moderate Alzheimer’s (donepezil can be used for severe Alzheimer’s as well). Memantine (Namenda ®) is used to treat moderate to severe Alzheimer’s. These drugs work by regulating neurotransmitters (the chemicals that transmit messages between neurons). They may help maintain thinking, memory, and speaking skills, and help with certain behavioral problems. However, these drugs don’t change the underlying disease process, are effective for some but not all people, and may help only for a limited time. My team went to every Alzheimer’s expert and learns about this and the medication to prolong it.

Albert, Elle’s Dad and Chace Christopher and his family and Perrie Rose and her family settled her in New York because of Elle’s condition. They breakdown when they knew about it. Harry and Darcy settle here too and they take care of Elle. Danielle and Liam have 2 children; Loki Payne, 7 and Hunter, 4, Harry Styles and Darcy Styles have one child; Kian who was 3. Zayn married to Danica have one child; Andrea who was 2. Niall and Samantha have 2 children; Jack Horan, 8 and Arizza, 7.

It was the 4th birthday of Thunder and Storm when all of the kids were playing when Elle’s walk down and asked the very unbelievable question that made everyone froze in their spot and cried.

She was walking downstairs when she saw the kid, he walk to me and kiss my cheeks.‘Babe, they look so cute, there’s a lot of children’s here. Who are they?’ She asked me and us all gasp. She looks at

us curiously and she looks at Niall and Samantha.

‘Who are you?’ She asked them. My God, she met them lot of times ago! Her father was crying. I still take care of Elle’s condition; it was getting worse every year. We found out that it was coming fast and the medication cannot slow it down.

Everyone asked me to tell them more about Elle’s disease and how to take care of her. I tell them everything. They help me take care of her, Elle’s act like a child sometimes. She always faint, she was crying every time she forgot her children’s and her eyes getting blurry, I was with her all the way, combing her hair, dressing her up, she doesn’t know how to use a phone, text, write and read, sometimes when she talk she just rumble things you can’t understand. It’s frustrating and I asked God why he always gives me something like this! One time, I hate on God because he gave Elle’s this sickness and it’s like he’s testing me if I could do this, there are time that I nearly gave up but Harry, my son punch me and said:

‘Dad, wake up. Don’t give up on Mom; you are the one why we all holding up because you’re not giving up and you’re strong but seeing and hearing you say you’re giving up? Dad, what do you want us to do? Give up too? Mom need us and you’re there blaming it all to God?’ My son screams at me, we were both crying. Darcy, Thunder and Storm witness it all and they were sobbing. It’s like they throw ice water on me that makes me realize everyone was holding to me. I hug them so tight. We were crying and hugging. I’m kissing them on their cheeks when Elle walk on us and ask us.

‘What are you guys doing?’ She stares at us curiously and suddenly there’s water flows down on her legs and it double up our tears. I asked Harry and Darcy to get the twins and go to their room. I walk Elle to the bathroom and wash her legs and shower her. It was hard seeing her like this, I was crying while rubbing soap on her body. When I can’t take it anymore, I hug her so tight and whisper the words I never want to hear her saying.

‘Who are you? Why are you crying?’ She asked me. I dress her up and lay her down on our bed, I give her medicine and help her take it. It was seldom when she can remember and when she does she want me to help her hold a pen and write down the things she want to write for her children’s. We were both crying while doing it. I promise myself not to give up on her. God give me this to make me strong.

We went to Disneyland. Darcy and Harry love it and Thunder and Storm were ecstatic. Elle was in the wheel chair because she can’t walk, she can but it’s hard for her. She was laughing with her children. They look so happy. It was one of the things I remember.

Harry and Darcy sometime take care of their Mom. Harry cooks her meal while Darcy dress her mom, braid her hair, putting make up on her, helping her go downstairs. Storm and Thunder always greet their Mom introducing their self to her every morning.

‘Good morning, Mom! I’m Thunder, 6 years old. I’m your son and I love you, Mom.’ Thunder said and kisses her mom cheeks and walks to me and kisses me in the cheeks. Thunder was more the serious type and he easily understand things while Storm is the opposite, he always smile and very gullible.

‘Morning, Mom. I’m Storm, 6 years old, I’m your son too, mom. Hope you can remember me one day. I love you to the moon and back, Mom!’ He said and kisses her cheeks. We all eat breakfast. She hardly speaks. Every night, same routine, there are times she remember us but she was confuse with past and future. She doesn’t know her parents, relative and friends. It was devastating. It was our 18th anniversary. We didn’t celebrate it because she doesn’t remember anything. We were dancing in our room, her feet were on mind and I swayed through the sound.

"Crazier"

I'd never gone with the windJust let it flowLet it take me where it wants to go'Til you open the doorThere's so much moreI'd never seen it beforeI was trying to flyBut I couldn't find wingsBut you came along and you changed everything

We swayed through the beat. I remember the times when we kids when I look at her and I love every bit of her. She was my best friend, playmate, her shoulder to cry on, she was perfect, what we have been perfect. When we were a

kid when we always played when she always trip and she end up having a bruise she always wail and crying when I ask her to stop, she will stop and always tell me.

‘Louis, its hurt! I trip again.’ She told me. I always tell her she needs to be strong, it was just a bruise.

‘You’re wonder woman and I’m Superman, right? Wonder woman never cry.’ I told her and she stop crying. I kissed her cheeks and she smiled wetly again.

‘Thank you, Louis.’

[Chorus:]You lift my feet off the groundYou spin me aroundYou make me crazier, crazierFeels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyesYou make me crazier, crazier, crazier.

I remember when we were 13 and I want to marry her because she’s my princess and it all came true. I love her so much. Everyone who’s been with us knows that and witness that. When we have Harry and Darcy, it was the happiest moment in our life, we love them to death. It was the greatest gift Elle gave me. Every moment with her was magical. When we went to the beach, I remember her laughter’s.

I was standing goofing and making the twins laugh whiles my parents holding them when someone throw sand on me and hit my face. I look at my suspect and there she was giggling while looking at me and holding a sand in her hands.

‘Did you just throw a sand on me?’ I asked her.

‘Yes.’ She giggled and throw the sand on me again. She saw the devil smile on me and her eyes widen and she run away from me laughing and screaming. I chuckle and run after her.

When I was near her I try to grab her waist but end up falling into the sand face first. Her laughter’s was heard and I stand up and run after her this time I grab her waist.

‘Got ya!’ I whisper in her ears and put her in my shoulder and run.

‘Louis!! Put me down!’ She giggled and slapping my butt. We were laughing.

I put her down and hug her tight.

‘I love you Eleanor Jane Calder-Tomlinson!’ I said.

‘I love you more, Louis William Tomlinson!’ She said and with the sun setting, we passionately kissed.

I've watched from a distance as you made life your ownEvery sky was your own kind of blueAnd I wanted to know how that would feelAnd you made it so realYou showed me something that I couldn't seeYou opened my eyesAnd you made me believe

[Chorus]

Baby you showed me what living is forI don't wanna hide anymoreOh oh

I remember how we said our vows and ‘I do’s.

‘I, Eleanor Jane Calder loving this man in front of me with his green eyes I feel for. Even though her ego was big as the biggest and longest river in the world, I still love him. We’ve been best friend since we’re in our mother womb which you dislike me saying because it’s gross but I still do it. I love you with all of your flaws because you love me so much even though I’m at my worst. I love you ‘till our hair turns white and when we only have one tooth left. I love you.’

You lift my feet off the groundYou spin me aroundYou make me crazier, crazierFeels like I'm fallin' and I am lost in your eyesYou make me crazier, crazier, crazierCrazier, crazier.

I was crying while we dance and reminiscing even though I can feel liquid flowing down on her legs.

‘I love you, Louis!’ Elle said then she faint. I caught her before she fell. I clean her legs and the wet in the floor. I check her pulse and eyes.

After three years since she fainted that time, she doesn’t remember anything; she was just staring and never moves. It was hard for us. Harry and Darcy are now 16 years old and Thunder and Storm were 9 years old.

Elle was like a newborn kid.

‘Wake up, Elle. I wake up Elle, I help her sit up. Kiss her lips but still she just stared at me and asked:

‘Who are you?’ The pain in my heart came and I closed my eyes to breathe.

‘Your husband.’ I always tell her every time she asked me that. I stand her up and went to bathroom to take her to bath, I wash her, shampoo her hair, washing the shampoo bubbles in her hair, put conditioner in her hair, she still immobile, just staring blankly at me and smile every time there’s a bubble in her hands. She acts like a kid. I clean her body with soap. I always cry everytime I did this. It’s hard, very frustrating that I can’t help her! After she take a bath, Darcy was already in our room with her mother dress, it was our daily routine since she woke up three years ago, she doesn’t remember anymore, everyone was broken when she don’t recognized them. I hand Darcy her towel and went down to take care of Thunder and Storm to school. Harry was cooking Elle’s breakfast. When Darcy and Elle went to the kitchen, I help Elle to sit down, she stares at her children’s.

Storm walks to Elle.

‘Good morning, Mom. I’m Storm, your son, I’m already 9, look mom I was the top 1 in my class and I have 10 stars. I love you mom!’ Storm said and kisses her cheeks. It was always like this.

‘Hello Mom, I’m Thunder, your son and I was also the top 1 in our class, Storm and I were. Look I have medals because of soccer. I love you also, mom!’

Harry blender Elle’s meals because she doesn’t know how to chew and he made Elle drink the vegetable juice. It was always like this but we never get tired in taking care of her.

Harry and Darcy were in High School while Thunder and Storm are in Grade School. I stop in working because I want to take care of Elle. I never hired any maid because I want hands on to Elle’s condition. She continues her medicine. Whole day we just look through the album and I always tell her everything in the photo album.

When the kid arrives from school they take care of her, they always tell her about their day and just hanging around Elle while I cook dinner. They watched movies and explain it to Elle. Elle eyesight got blurry so she’s wearing glasses. Elle and I are 39 years old. Same routine, I blend Elle’s meal and Harry made her drink it. I shower her and Darcy dresses her up. We always together when we sleep Elle in the middle and we all cuddle up in the floor with a large comforter that occupies the 6 of us.

-One year after-

I woke up and look at Elle and it’s like her mother all over again except it was me who were his Dad and the one who’s waking her up was my children.

I check her up and she’s not breathing.

‘Dad! Mom is not waking up. Dad!’ They try to say to me but I was sitting up frozen, my body can’t seem to process it. When they all slap me I was awaken from my nightmare. I carried her and Harry was driving when we’re in the hospital they put her into the hospital bed.

Dr. Collins check her eyes and pulse, they brought the Deliberators.

‘Charge to 150.’ They put it to her chest and her body jerks up. I was crying it was like Karley’s all over again. Dr. Collins shakes his head and said the most dreadful time I’ve ever heard.

‘Time of death 10:15 AM’ My children run to their lifeless mother and hug her while they were screaming her name. Everyone was here and crying. I stood there frozen and not moving. I run outside and went to the chapel and scream at him.

‘WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?! DID WE DO SOMETHING WRONG?! NOTHING! NOTHING! WHY DID YOU GET THE TWO PEOPLE IN MY LIFE?! ARE YOU STILL NOT SATISFIED?! STOP GETTING MY LIFE AWAY FROM ME!!!’ I screamed at him with so much pain in me. I always believe in him but I can’t seem to have my trust on him now! I was too much swallowed by the pain. It’s unbearable! I broke down in my knees and crying loudly, screaming ‘WHY?!’ to God.

I felt arms around me and my children’s, my gems are hugging me. We decide not to have a burial because we can’t take it, we just can’t and it’s time to bury her coffin beside Karley’s

tomb.

I stood lifeless while my children were hugging her coffins and screaming their Mom’s name!

It was hard to accept this. It was too much pain. I was left in there with the alone. They went home with the twins. I read the tomb.

In memory of

Karley Louise Tomlinson and Eleanor Jane Calder-Tomlinson

You’ll always be remember and loved.

I knelt on my knees and cry out loud. I don’t know how to survived without her. The love of my life, my life. Life has been unfair to me. I don’t know but something whisper in me, her voice, my promise to her.

‘Louis when I die, please don’t cry, be strong for Harry, Darcy, Storm and Thunder, promise me to continue living, my body may die but my soul is always with you, in your heart.’

‘I promise.’

I stand up and wipe my tears and say one last time.

‘I pro-mise. I love you, my two angels. Winds nipped my cheeks and lips. It like they kissed me.

‘I love you, I’ll never let go.’

That was the last time I visit them. It’s been 5 years when she died. We all move on but they still remain in our heart. It’s our Silver anniversary and her 45th birthday last week. We decide to celebrate it together.

‘Dad!!!’ My 4 angels called out to me. They kissed my cheeks and they gave me a ring, actually the ring I gave to Elle, my promise ring.

‘Dad, mom gave this to me and she told me to give this to you when it’s your 25 anniversary because it’s in this time to let her go and live peacefully.’ Darcy said. I hug them all. They get all the foods and cake and put it into the car and we drive until we reach the place I never visit since.

We were here.

‘Hi Mom, Karley. How are you guys? We’re fine. We’re still moving but with you in our heart we’re fine because you’re still with us.’ They simultaneously said.

‘I went to their grave and smile.

‘I love you, my angels.’ I smile and joined my 4 angels and celebrate and tell our 2 angels the things that happen in 5 years. We still miss them but they never gone to our heart and life.

THE END!

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.” ― Terry Pratchett, the Last Continent

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