The Point Of Seperation

By Jamie Robertson

This is my second compilation of poetry.I have been writing since I was eight years old and throughout my teens, I really used poetry as a means of therepy and to help examine my emotions and the world around me.I also liked using poetry as an expression of art and the older I am, the more I can see how poetry can deliver something unique from other forms of writing.I like the fact that as ambiguous and as vague as poetry can appear, it can also be concise and interpreted in a way that can be relevant and personal to the reader.

I am not one for explaining what the poetry is about.I could and I could give a blow by blow break down of each line but poetry, I believe, is such a personal form of art that it would detract from how the reader interpretates it.What I mean is that what I write may mean something that is close to me and by explaining it, I may infact destroy the enjoyment of anothers as they interpretate it to mean something that is close to them.But there are recurring themes through out the writing.Subjects that I have wrestled with, struggled with and deliberated over for the last fifteen years.They are subjects that most writers find themselves trying to express and will no doubt be obvious to anyone: Love, Heartbreak, Betrayal are central themes to some of the work contained in here.The World as I see it, Humanity as I understand it, warnings and judgements are contained in my messages.I really do believe that through art we can affect how people see and understand the world.In the turn of the 21stCentury, the promise of the future has been replaced with the cynical reality of the human condition.We are on a slope to destruction that we are eager to race towards.

To describe my poetry I would say it is a microcosm of the world, small messages that explore one life and those that it meets with, but that from all small events and behaviours we can see how they have knock on affects, we can see how patterns repeat, we can see how we are all part of something much bigger.And in much the same way, each poem when brought together do the exact same thing, in my opinion.The title of this compilation deliberately has two specific meanings: One being the time and events of losing people in our lives and also the point, the important lessons, the meanings and lessons that can be found within these moments.As you read this, I hope you see that there is a little more to it than that and hopefully there is enough here to make you think or feel.

Ultimately, I hope you enjoy reading them.It's a big part of why I continue to write. (It sure ain't the money) I hope you can relate to them or at least understand what it is I am trying to say.I hope you can reflect on why I believe what I am saying is important.I'd hope you don't think it the vanity of a pretentious writer, rather I'd hope you see this as the life of a man who wishes to understand the world and connect with it in a way that will lead to long lasting happiness and a better future than the one that is being promised to us now.

Crushes.

So, you've convinced yourself that this is Love.You've built the fantasy in your head and it aches to be real.So, you've decided it is time to reach out to her.You've placed your heart on your sleeve, head in the block.

You prepare the conversation in your mind.You sweat and feel the excitement grow at the thought.The closer you get to going ahead, the stronger it becomes.She will see your sincerity, your feelings are hers.

You practise your best smile. Wear your best clothes.The work is in place and events will unfold.Each step closer to her brings you closer to your goal. And it will work as you plan and you shall both know happiness.

She smiles politely, but her eyes are like sirens.She smiles and gestures in her rehearsed fashion.Now is not a good time.It's all a little complicated.It is very flattering.She'd love to be friends.

It's a platitude, a polite lie.A blindswipe turn.It does nothing to stop your heart breaking.Does nothing to stop the fantasy crash around mockingly.It is a lesson in love and the value you place on it.

Ettiquette and dignity make you grin sheepishly and apologise.A clumsy imposition, an error in judgement, so silly really.You betray everything you held in your heart,as you try to claw it all back and sweep it under the carpet.

Keep in mind how cruel her laugh sounded when she thought you were gone.Remember there are not always rewards for trying.But you are not made of glass, it did not kill you.Be glad of the lessons it has brought you.

Ailing

Opened mouth, straining to regurgitate half-digested truths.If only we took more time to chew your lies.I try to grind them down finely and let them wash over my tongue.I use anything that helps me to swallow them.I am a man of fine means starving at the banquet.

I grow sick of the richness of your lies.Here I am spooning each greasy mouthful with a shit-eating grin.My stomach rebelslong before my brain.I tip my glass to you and hope it soothes the belly.If I drink I may not need to remember.

I raise a glass to you.

Cycle of Vendetta

Bury the dead and walk away.Shed a tear if you must but walk away.Perhaps under a blanket of grief.Looking to blame someone,to help you heal in your own way.

But the anger and hate is set to take you over.

Tomorrow - someone else's turn.Will we cover our ears to the clamour for justice?When did we become blind to Others' problems?Are we so grateful it is them and not us?Grateful we are not the ones being blamed.

Itis a shark eat dog eat dog world.If you're not gnawing, you being grown for your bones.Prey given a minute start for a little sport.Either they'll get you or your ignorance will.

Growth from the Ruined

The Good inside is no longer enough.This world made promises it is not keeping.It's lost its shine.Its glamour is thin.

For those who seek to build then breakbonds and boundaries are slow to learnof the consequences in undoing all that is built.

Too quick to move on to building anew,there is no time offered to the ruins or remainsof what you left behind.

All of the moments that are now worth only your disdain,all of the experiences that you say did not shape you,they carry with them a life and a meaning of their own.

I create new moments to seed and watch for signs of growth.Colours and the movement of time, something that could be mine.From this carnage, I feel this moment is right.

Sad Girl.

We sat at our table and I ordered our coffees.We talked, whilst we waited. She toyed with her surroundings.She wasn't happy.She never was.

A circle of mistakes,repeated over and over again.She is the saddest girl I have ever met.

She never knew why.It's just the way it's meant to be.

We talk.To be at ease.I'm wishing her hope in the next try.She has a beautiful smile.

Success in Failing

You see and show the cruelty contained in us all.Each of us a god destined to fall through hubris.To rot and perhaps still leave something behind.Perhaps not kind words but words of a kind.Perhaps not Great deeds but the deeds are mine.

In my bones, I know I tried.My own Final Day will leave only what I have touched.Lost in the moment, perhaps revealed by the years.

When there is no inspiration,when sorrow is accepted without a fight,when we see no further than the mundane,perhaps then you will listen and care to understand.I study the failure, the damaged, the despoiled.

My studies bring me closer to it all.My own Final Day will leave only what I have touched.I pray they find success and joy where I have searched.

The Point of Seperation

Such a long journey home.And we walk it alone.Faces are blank,No-one smiles from the ground.

It'll be different without you.There's no shelter when life rains on you.If there's lessons in living,it's talk of being human.

Victims of your Touch.

Should I close my eyes and remember those women,the memories crawl and twitch under skin.They burrow and swim through the blood, excited by each kiss and caress of my mask.

I have touched skin as pale as the moonlight.I have felt passion that burned like the stars.Known love that conquered the emptiness of space.These people are meaningless and make me resent this fact.

I burrow deeper, following the flow of my mind.Protected and disguised, they can't see how far away I've gone.They do not realise it all revolves around you.How cruel, how unfair, how destructive this is.

Worst still, my mask grows spines and spikes.With gentle caresses, I have placed hidden strings on my lovers.Every time that I grow bored, I like to play with them.Every time I start to trust, I like to see them fall and flounder.

Destruction starts to hold a gentle rhythm.They are left uncertain if it is them or me.They begin to see but fail to comprehend.I am no longer worthy nor do I want them.

I just want the tomorrow when they've gone.

What remains?

Everything will fade away,including my feelings for you.And when the world is cold and grey,who'll be left to read the ruins?

It makes everything seem trivial.Cameras in the sky record the events unfold.It has seen corruption bring the people to the streets.

Like one moment and then over.Life is our rehearsal.If I was offered one more day, I'd only waste it.

When do I learn, it's not much to expect?But I heard she found a normal life,just as I saw it was all too late.

It branches out to ruin the world.When the world has settled,Humanity will be spacecapsuled.And I will not be found beside you.

Confession

I'll tell you what I want.I want tell you what makes me happy.I want to be able to be direct with you.I want to tell you why I am now so unhappy.

I once described you as close to an angel.There was a time where your beauty blinded me.I considered you perfect, perfect for me with your flaws and failings.

Now you're switched off.It's like loving the dead.You resent and reject all that once mattered.You frustrate and create inner war.

You want me to be honest with you?Your petulance and displays of childish angermake me angry and hateful towards you.You have broken my heart and all I do is hate you now.

Without Exhaling

Breathing, all of you in.There's no exhale, no escape.No-one to save me here.Now I've let you in.

I've held my breathe for so long.I can hear it trying to break outside.Will they remember all that we did?Or will they see only bones?

A thousand suns burn away.Burning time till there's no yesterday.Burning in the face of God's universe.You kept me seperated from everything.

Burning my bones.

And I can feel myself being stripped awaywith every breatheI take.As they infect me with this life,all I have are bones.

Scatter them to the windsand don't regret the dying.It's the life we gave.I'll fade quietly.

The Sum of the Parts

I took all the pieces that you had left me.I put them together to make a myself complete.Yes. I put them together to build a whole new me.

The sum of the parts to make what I wanted.Some of the parts help me believe.Some of the parts help the hurting.

You took the best parts and tried to crumble them down.You tried to unmake the path I followed.You tried to create a new path I could never follow.

Cycle of Self-Pity

You may think that life is hardbut I can promise that there will be someone having it a harder time than you.Maybe you could tell the world your sad storyand see how many offer you pity.Once you've found them, perhaps you can drain these sympathetic friendsand help to make them as miserable as you wish you were.

Open your eyes.All of the chances you complain you're missing are down to you.I have no more sympathy for you, wallower.I've noticed how much you smilewhen you have people cluck and shake their heads at your tales.You feed on the attention.You need it.

Unlike the others, I'm no longer impressedat your "strength" against adversity.I have heard and seen enough to know the truth.That you lie and exaggerate and hide behind misery.You strike out from behind it at those who will not shed tears for you.You create enemies and force alliances that are based on parasitic behaviour.

You try to control all from your refuge of self-pity.A castle of bones and splintered hopes,reinforced by the empathy of those you capture.Ghosts from your past and the damned roam herebut no-one with sense will dare to dwell with you.If only you would shed your armour.

Come out and face the world, vulnerable and unarmed.I find strength comes from facing fearand reaching out to the possibilities around us.My heart may break but has always healed.I have no desire tostand on the outside,waiting for you to let me into this poisoned place.

My Last Prayer to My Angel

I wasn't that bad, was I?You're fading awayDo I deserve this?You've got your own life.Will this hurt ever fade?You need to go away now.I will be fine alone for a while.But don't leave like this.

I begged you to come back.I apologised and plead.I promised to do better.If only I understood what went wrong.I asked for one more day.Why has everything soured so quickly.

I offered anything I could to you.The cold hatred in your face.I feel powerless and sick.You have no interest in my words.I feel cruel and to blame.There is nothing more I can do.

It seems so unfair.Please don't go away.Yesterday we had something worthwhile.You tell me otherwise.I pray you will not say goodbye.This is the end.

Is This It?

Put all the pictures in a boxand locked them away withmy thoughts.Don't need to be reminded of could-have-beens.Will we ever work again?Or isthis it?

Dead birds fall from the skyand black clouds seem to diveright down on my head.Is this where it ends?I wonder what I said or what she meant.Is this it?

Somethings were best left unsaid.We both knew our love was dead,as the walls fell around our head.We know this is where it ends.Is this it?

Locked my heart inside a boxand left it hidden in the dark.Don't need it telling me I'll never see you again.Is this it?

A Bloody Valentine's Day

I'd rather throw myself in the fireand feel my wooden body burn.I'd rather thatthan to be a slave.I've lost the urge to be controlled by love or lust.I don't want to drown in fantasies or romance.

Eros removed my heart and flew straight to you.I hope you keep it safe and don't leave it to decay.I hope you remember to wish it goodnight.This stolen organ you store in a jar.A whimsical notion but one that amused.

I have no need for it back.It hadn't helped and I hold no delusions.My heart could be pinned like a butterfly on display.It wouldnt matter or show exactly what this heart could do or did.But that my heart will always be held by you? Know that I hate you for this reason.

Searching to Evolve

I want to grow into that perfect somebody.I want to hold a destiny to drive me onwards.Ten steps to improvement and the horoscopesdon't aim me to the answers or issues I need to learn about.

I am looking to complete my understanding of our race.To understand our motives and be the best I can.I'm still so far away, yet I visit in my dreams.Searching for ways to see it connect.

Wasted Time

I let you get too close.A stupid, naive mistake, breaking my own rules.You were close enough to hurt meonce you cut the cord.I thought I knew how to avoid the misery that follows.It's good to know someone can still make me feel like that.What a waste of time.

Calling Out

You never answer my calls, anymore.Doors boarded up and you've moved on.I'm still here, breathing in your scent.I'm still here, waiting for you.

My baby doesn't call out my name anymore.My baby doesn't come around anymore.I'm here waiting and watching the door.

I'm told your happy with someone new.ShouldI consider this my last gift to you?More valued than the one you threw away.I'll pray for you and your new start.

If I look to blame you or avoid my flaws,if I say I was innocent and beyond recriminationthen my discarded heart says otherwise.This longing says I'm wrong.