the practice of healing circles...round, a learning round, and a close. you are welcome to adapt it...
TRANSCRIPT
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The Practice of Healing Circles
Module 1
How to hold a basic circle
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About this Guide ThisGuideisanintroductiontoHealingCirclesforthoseinterestedinhostingabasichealingcircle.Thisisthefirstinaseriesofguides,designedtoincreaseyourskillinbeingacirclehost/guardianortakeyoudeeperintothecircleexperience.
Who might benefit ThisGuidecanbeusedbyindividualsontheirownorcanbeusedinagroupsetting.Forgroups,theguideincludesarangeofactivities—reading,reflecting,sharing,discussing—forarangeofcirclesizes.
How long will it take? Ifyouarereadingthisonyourown,taketimetoreflectoneachquestionandreturnonceyou’vearrivedataninsight.Ifyouareworkingwithagroup,youarealwayswelcomedandencouragedtoadapttheseguidelinestomeetyourcircle’sneedsandavailabletime.
Table of Contents
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What are Healing Circles?
Preparing for Circle
Welcome
Heart-sharing
Harvesting Closing the Circle
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1 What are Healing Circles?
Circlestartedaroundthecook-firesofhumanity’sancestorsandhasaccompanieduseversince.Werememberthisspace.Whenwelisten,
wespeakmorethoughtfully.Weleanintosharedpurpose.Christina Baldwin, author, The Circle Way
What is a circle? • Thereisadifferencebetweenmeetinginacircleandinvokingorcallingacircle.• Thecircleisthemotherofmethodologies:theCampfirethatourancestorsgathered
aroundtobuildtribeandclan.• Acircleisalsoalivingentity,afull-bodiedpresencethatwearecreatingtogether.• Thecircleisaninvitationistodiscoveradeeperwayofbeingtogether,protectedby
agreementswhichwe’lldiscusslater.
“Ifittouchesyourheart&guidesyouonyourpath, it’saHealingCircle.”
Michael Lerner, president, Commonweal
What are the hallmarks of a Healing Circle? • HealingCircleshelpusstepoutofordinarytimeintoasafeandacceptingenvironmentin
whicheachofuscanexploreourownhealing.• Withopenhearts,weaccessourowninnerguidancetounderstandwherethegreatest
healing—inbody,emotions,mindandspirit—canoccur.• Withopenminds,weworktogethertodiscoverthebestwaystoremoveobstaclesto
healing,alleviatesuffering,anddeepenourcapacitytoheal.
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Individual Reflection followed by a Circle of Two: Have you personally felt the healing power of a circle? Reflect on what made it healing.
2 minutes individual reflection Yourexperience
How does a Healing Circle work? Circlepracticeshelpusbecomemoreawareofhowwecommunicatewithothers—whetherfamily,friends,partners,co-workers,orfellowcirclemembers.Thesepracticeshelpustobekinderandmorerespectfulofeachotherandourselves.Keytoamagicalcirclearetheagreements(seepage13).Circlescanhavemanydifferentformats.Thisguidedescribesasimple,sampleformatforahealingcirclethatincludesfoursections—aWelcome,aHeart-Sharinground,aLearninground,andaClose.Youarewelcometoadaptittoyourcircle’sneeds.HealingCirclesarefunctionalblendsofmechanicsandmagic.Themechanicsarenecessarytoestablishandmaintainasafe,conduciveenvironmentformagictoemerge.ThetrickinaHealingCircleistobevigilantofthebalancebetweenthetwo—toavoidover-emphasizingoneattheexpenseoftheother.
For more information
Books• ChristinaBaldwinandAnnLinnea,TheCircleWay• ParkerPalmer,AHiddenWholeness
Onlineresources• AboutHealingCircles:http://www.healingcircleslangley.org/circles/what-are-healing-circles/• AboutTheCircleWay:www.thecircleway.net• AbouttheCenterforCourageandRenewal:www.couragerenewal.org
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2 Preparing for Circle
“Theimpulsetosharethehealingexperience—tohelpothersfacewhatwehavefaced—isbuiltintothehumanpsyche.AsRachelNaomiRemenputsit,“wehealincommunity.”Formanypeople,akey
dimensionofhealingistoworkinacircleofcompanionswhoshareyourwoundandshareyourstrongintentiontofindhealing.
Healingisamovementtowardwholeness–physical,emotional,mentalandspiritual.Healingisdifferentfromcuring–whenanillness
disappears,nevertoreturn.Healingcantakeplacebothinamovementtowardrecoveryand,equally,whenlosinggroundphysically.Great
healingcanalsotakeplaceindying.Michael Lerner, president, Commonweal
IF YOU’RE STARTING A CIRCLE
Why are you calling a circle? TherearemanyreasonstocallacirclebutaHealingCircleistypicallybornoutofloveandadesireforservice.Discoveringyourownpurposeisavitalfirststepwhichyoucanreturntoasatouchstoneagainandagain.Individual Reflection: Why are you calling a circle? Where does hosting this circle fit in your life? How does it serve your soul/own wholeness?
5 minutes (or as long as it takes)
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Who will hold the circle? • HealingCirclesprovidethesafestexperienceforcirclememberswhenthereareatleast
twopeoplesupportingthecircle,HostandGuardian.(Foradescriptionoftheseroles,pleaseseepage14.)
• Havingateamofco-hostsisalsobestforsustainingthecircle:eithercanhostthecirclewhentheotherisunavailable.Atthosetimes,youcaninviteacirclemembertoactasGuardian.
• It’salsomorefunandmorefulfillingtoworkasateamofco-hosts.Theloadislighter,thelearningdeeper.
Individual Reflection: Who would you enjoy co-hosting the circle with?
1 minute
Circle of Two: Share your ideas for what makes an effective, working relationship between co-hosts? How can you support each other?
6 minutes
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What is the intention of the circle? Circle of Two: What is the intention of the circle?
1-5 minutes
Who will you invite and how will you reach them? Circle of Two: Who would you like to welcome into the circle and how will you invite them (if known)/reach them (If unknown)?
1-5 minutes
Where will you hold the circle? Circle of Two: Where will you hold the circle?
1-5 minutes
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FOR ALL CIRCLES: PREPARING THE SPACE CIRCLE OF 2: How would you like to prepare the physical space so people feel welcome and safe?
3 minutes
Tips for hosts and guardians
• Createabeautifulwelcomingspacethatisclean,well-lit,andhascomfortablechairs• CreateacenterfortheCircle–candle,flowers,orsymbol(s)ofyourworktogether.
Make a checklist to remind yourself before every circle
Choosefromanyoftheideasbeloworaddyourown:� Sendaremindertothecirclemembers� Welcomethemwithteaorbeverage� Preparethespacewithcomfortablechairsandacenterforyourcircle� Setanintentionforthecirclewithyourco-host(iftheintentionvaries)� Gatherwhateverpiecesyou’dliketoaddtothecircle:a
quote/poem/passage/meditation/music/art,etc.inthiscircle?
You’re ready! Take a big breath and prepare
to welcome people into your first circle.
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Welcome Beingwelcomedintocirclehasfourkeycomponents.
1 Welcoming,theinformalconnectionthatstartstobuildbetweenonehumanbeingandanotherfromthetimewecomeinthedooruntilwesitdownincircle.
2 EnteringtheCircle,thetransitionspacethatenablesustoleavebehindtheworldwe’vecomefromandenterthecirclewithfullattentionandpresence.
3 Introducing/Checkin—Ifthegroupisneworanewmemberhasjoined,maketimeforbriefintroductions.Returningcirclesoftenstartwithabriefcheck-in.
4 UnderstandingCircleAgreements&Practices,makingsureeverybodyinthecirclehasasharedunderstandingofhowthecircleworks.
1. Welcoming Group Discussion: What makes you feel welcome when you enter a new space? What is the value of social time in a Healing Circle?
5 minutes
Tips for Hosts
• TheWelcomebeginsatthedoorwithasmile,andforareturningmemberwhowouldlikeone,ahug
• Lightrefreshments,perhapsacupoftea• Acomfortablechairinaclean,well-litplace• Circlesetupwithacenter,eitheracandle,flowers,orotherobject
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2. Entering the Circle Circles often begin with a simple ritual. 1 Lightacandleinthecenter2 Ringabellsignifyingthebeginningofsilenceandringoneattheend3 Readaquoteorpoem(suchastheonebelow)
Truesolitudeisfoundinthewildplaces,whereoneiswithouthumanobligation.
One'sinnervoicesbecomeaudible.Onefeelstheattractionofone'smostintimatesources.
Inconsequence,onerespondsmoreclearlytootherlives.Themorecoherentonebecomeswithinoneselfasacreature,themorefullyone
entersintothecommunionofallcreatures.Wendell Berry, from his poem “Healing”
Individual reflection: What was your experience of this way of entering a circle?
2 minutes
Group discussion: What is the role of silence in entering a circle?
2 minutes
Tips for Hosts
• Silencehasmanyadvantages:o Createsasafecontainerorsacredspaceo Providesapause,aseparationbetweenwhatcamebeforeandwhatcomesaftero Connectsustoinnerguidance
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• SilentCounciliswhenweeachlookinsideandlistencarefullytowhatismostimportanttousrightnow.Wemightexperiencethisasawellingofintuition,agrace.Communicationsinasilentcouncilcanalsocometousintheformofimagery,sensations,voices,orothermeansofcommunicatingwithourbodies,minds,andspirit.
• Whenwe’reonourown,wecanalsoholdaCircleofOne,acirclefordifferentvoiceswithin.
o Thesemightbeconflictsthatarisebetweentherolesweplayinlife—forexample,beingaparentvs.workinglateattheoffice.
o Wemightbeexperiencingarangeofemotionsandhavedifficultynamingthemandworkingwiththeminturn.
o Aninnercouncilcanalsobeheldbypersonifyingdifferentorgansystemswithinthebody—forexample,istheliveratriskfromthetherapyforthelung?
Group discussion: What other ways of Entering the Circle might you and your group choose to use?
3 minutes
Tips for Hosts
Circlescanbeenrichedwithdifferentwaysofbeingandlearningtogetherifthegroupfeelscomfortablewiththem.Thesemightinclude:• Guidedmeditation—Ourpaincirclealwaysbeginswithguidedmeditation.Thecircleviews
thisasskill-building.• Guidedvisualization—Ourcancercirclehasrequestedavisualizationthattheycanuseon
theirown.• Reading—Inadditiontothehostandguardian,differentmembersofthecirclecanbringin
differentprosepassagesorpoemstoreadtothegroup.• Music—Circleswhosemembersenjoysingingcouldsingorthosewhoenjoylisteningcould
useapieceofmusicasanintroduction
3. Introducing/Intention/Check-in Whenevertherearenewpeopleinacircle,itishelpfultobeginwith
• Introductionstocirclemembers• Introductiontocircleagreementsandpractices• Introductiontothetiming/theme/agendaofthecircletoday
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Introductions for new circles or new members Group discussion: What is the purpose of introductions?
2 minutes
Group discussion: For ongoing circles, how can you vary introductions based on the purpose of your circle each time?
2 minutes
Tips for Hosts
• Thekeypurposeofintroductionstogeteveryone’svoiceintheroomasearlyaspossibleandascomfortablyaspossible.
• Introductionscanservemanypurposesandyoucantailorthemeachcircle.Herearesomesuggestions,butpleaseuseyourowncreativity.
IF YOUR INTENTION IS TO YOU MIGHT TRY THIS Make people comfortable What’s your name and what brings you to
this circle? Orient each other to a common condition [For a cancer circle] We’ll have the
opportunity to learn more of our stories in a minute but let’s begin by simply saying what type of cancer we have and when we were diagnosed.
Establish sacred space [Ask people to bring a sacred object with them to circle] How does your sacred object represent who you are in the context of this circle?
Create common bonds What brought you joy when you were young? Set intention What is your intention for this circle? Bring members into the present What’s a one-word weather report for how
you are feeling today?
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4. Understanding the Circle Agreements and Practices Why Agreements? Group discussion: Why do we have agreements?
3 minutes
Tips for Hosts
• Circleagreementsprotectthesafetyoftheindividualsandtheintegrityofthecircle.
What are the Healing Circle Agreements?
• Wetreateachotherwithkindnessandrespect.• Welistenwithcompassionandcuriosity.• Wehonoreachother’suniquewaystohealinganddon’tpresumetoadviseorfixortryto
saveeachother.• Weholdallstoriessharedinthecircleconfidential.• Wetrusteachofushasguidanceweneedwithinusandwerelyonthepowerofsilenceto
accessit. Group discussion: Do you have any questions about these agreements? Does your group want to modify or add to them?
As long as it takes
Tips for Hosts
• TheHealingCirclesagreementsusedatHealingCirclesLangleywerederivedfrommanysources.Yourgroupisfreetoadaptthemtomeetyourneeds.Seethesesourcesforotherideas:
o PeerSpirit,TheCircleWayo ParkerPalmer,CircleofTrustTouchstones
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What are the Circle Roles of Host/Guardian? • TheHostandGuardianperformservice,notleadership,rolesinthecircle.• Ifwecontinuedthecampfiremetaphor,theHostisresponsiblefortendingthefire
(protectingthecenter):startingthefireandkeepingthefiregoingwithoutthefiregettingoutofcontrol.TheHostopensandclosesthecircleandmightdirectthetransitionfromonesegmentsofacircletoanother.TheHostisusuallynottheretobeasubjectmatterexpert.
• Metaphorically,theGuardianisresponsibleforprotectingtherimofthecircle,makingsurenoonegetsburnedbybeingtooclosetothefire,andkeepinganeyeonthosewhofeeltheneedtobackawayfromtheheat.Practically,theGuardianwatchestheenergyofagroup,protectsthesafetyofthecirclebyensuringagreementsarekept,andringsthebellforsilence.AccordingtoTheCircleWay,creatorsoftheGuardianrole,“Theguardianusuallyemploysagentlenoise-maker,suchasachime,bell,orrattle,thatsignalstoeveryonetostopaction,takeabreath,andrestinaspaceofsilence.”TheHostandGuardiansitoppositeeachothertoensuresightlinetoeveryoneinthecircle.
• Circlemembersbothtendthefireandprotecttherim.Allparticipantsshareresponsibilityforholdingthecircleandfortheirownhealing.
• Anymembermaycallforthebelltoinitiateapause.
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Heart-sharing
“Thesoulspeaksitstruthonlyunderquiet,inviting,andtrustworthyconditions.”
― Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
“Theworkofseeingisdone.Nowpracticeheart-work…”
Rainer Maria Rilke
ThecoreoftheHealingCircleistheHeart-sharinground(s)whereeachpersoninturnhastheopportunitytospeaktowhatismostontheirheartinthemoment.Atitsmostsacred,thisisamomentofauthenticity,vulnerability,andoftenself-discovery.
The Mechanics: Talking Piece Council AttheinvitationtoentertheHeart-sharinground,allmembersdirecttheirattentiontothecenterofthecircle,andthenlookwithin.Whensomeoneisreadytobegin,theypickupatalkingpiece—whichcanbearock,asymbol,oranythingthegroupprefers—andbegintotalk.Whenthey’refinished,theypassthetalkingpiecetotheirrightorleft.Thatpersonisfreetotakeamomenttoseeifthey’dliketosharerightnow,andifnot,theycanpassthepiecetothenextperson.
The Magic When we speak Wespeaktothecenterofthecircle,weputourmetaphoricallogonthefire.Weusethetimetocenteronourintentionforthistimeincircle,exploringwhatismostaliveinus.Thisiswherewemovetowardourownwholeness,ourownhealing.
“Themostbasicandpowerfulwaytoconnecttoanotherpersonistolisten.Justlisten.Perhapsthemostimportantthingweevergiveeach
otherisourattention.”Rachel Naomi Remen
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“Thebestwaytohelpothershealisnottotellthemwhattheyshoulddo.Rather,youstartwithgenerouslistening.AsParkerPalmer,the
greatQuakereducator,putsit:Donotadvisethem.Donottotrytofixthem.Donottotellthemwhattheyshoulddo.Donottrytobewiseorshowoffyourexpertiseinhealing.Simplybethereforthem,awitness
totheirexplorationoftheirownpath.” Michael Lerner,Intentional Healing
When we listen Therestofcirclelistenswithoutinterruptionorcomment.Webearwitnesstothejoys,thestruggles,hopesandfearsofanotherandsoseeourselves.Wedon’ttakeoneachother’spain.Again,usingthecampfiremetaphor,wecanpullclosetothefire,receivingtheheatweneed,orwecanbackawayfromthefireifweneedto. Question for Heart-sharing round: What is most on your heart today?
Each member of the circle shares and then passes the talking piece to the next person. That person is free to pass or share.
Group discussion: What are some of the challenges of Talking Piece Council and how would you work with them?
15 minutes
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Tips for Hosts
ThinkingthroughsomeideasforworkingwithcommonchallengesintheHeart-sharingroundcanincreaseyourconfidenceinbeingahost:
• Lackofself-regulationwhetherbecauseoflackofawareness,physicallimitations(suchasblindnessorhearingloss),medications(suchassteroids),oranotherreason
Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?
• Notspeakingauthenticallywhetherbecauseoffear,adesiretoplease,alackofself-
knowledge,culturalnorms,gendernorms,oranotherreason
Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?
• Notbeingkindorrespectfulforwhateverreason
Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?
• Goingoffpoint—outsidetheintentionofcircle
Whatideasdoyouhaveforhowtoworkwiththissituation?
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Harvesting
“Weareexploringtogether.Wearecultivatingagardentogether,backstothesun.Thequestionisahoeinourhandsandwearediggingbeneaththehardandcrustysurfacetotherichhumusofourlives.”
―Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
Researchersarestillstudyingwhatmakessocialsupportsuchacriticalandpowerfulelementofhealing.Onefocushasbeenonthepractical—someonetohelpgetyoutoadoctorandhelpwithphysicalneeds.AnotherfocushasbeenonthequalityoftheemotionalsupportthatwasjustevidentintheHeart-sharinground.Anotherfocusisonhowthesocialnetworkdeliversinformationneededforhealing.TheHarvestingroundisintendedtogivespaceforthislearningtotakeplace.Harvestingcanbedoneusingmanydifferentformatsandpractices.Yourgroupwillfinditswayifyougiveittime.
The Mechanics Formats and practices
• Personal—Wegoaroundthecircleagainusingthetalkingpiece,thistimeeachinturntakestheirowndiscoveryprocessdeeperbyspeakingtowhattheyhaveharvestedfromthepreviousround.
• Smallgroup—Thegroupcandivideintoareasofinterest—goodforalargecircle• Wholecircle—Thecircleexploresquestionsusingtwodifferentcirclepractices:
PopcornCouncilo Talking-piecevariationwherewedon’tgoaroundincirclebutratheranyonecan
sharetheirthoughts,withoutcross-talkorfollow-upquestions.o Usedtogetideasoutquickly,e.g.,brainstormingo Usedforharvestingexperienceinlargegroupswherenoteveryoneneedstoshareo UsedtoreportindividualreflectionwherenotallwillwanttoshareConversationCouncilo Similartonormalconversationwithoutpersuasionordisagreement
Ways of transitioning • Host,Guardian,orgroupdecidestocontinuewiththeirindividuallearningfromthe
previousroundandjustpassthetalkingpiecearoundagain• Groupproposesquestionsthey’dlikethegrouptoaddresstoday• HostsynthesizesHeart-sharingroundandoffersaquestion
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The Magic Themagiccomesfromthewhole-heartednessofthegroup.Thecirclemembersgenuinelywanttolearnandthecirclerespectsthateachpersonhastheirownareaofpressingconcern.We’vefoundthesepracticeskeeplearningcirclesmagical:
• Askingdeeplyrelevant,authenticquestionsthatmatterinourlivesnow• Answeringthequestionfromourownexperience• Reflectingclearlyifweneedfurtherclarificationtounderstandsomeoneelse• Askingopenandhonestquestionsofeachotherifapersonasksfordirecthelp
Typical Harvesting Round question: What do we want to learn from the wisdom in the group today?
2 minutes: Each member of the circle identifies a question
Tips for Hosts
• Honorthecollectionofinnerwisdombeforeprimingoccursinthegroupbyhavingamomentofsilenceortheopportunitytowriteaquestiondown.
• Harvestingtofinduniversalsorcollectivesmayormaynotultimatelybeofvaluetotheone.Bewareofgroupthink.
Group discussion: What are some of the challenges of Conversation Council and how would you handle them in circle?
15-30 minutes
Tips for Hosts
Becauseconversationishowwenormallyinteractwitheachother,wecaneasilyfallintohabits.Takesometimetothinkabouthowyouwouldaddressthesesituationsincircle:
• Tryingtofixorsave• Tryingtoimposeabeliefsystemonanother• Dominatingorinterruptingaconversation• Notgivingtimetothequietvoicesintheroom• Believingyouknowwhat’sbestforanother
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Closing the Circle
"Weclaspthehandsofthosewhogobeforeus,andthehandsofthosewhocomeafterus;weenterthelittlecircleofeachother'sarms,
andthelargercircleofloverswhosehandsarejoinedinadance,andthelargercircleofallcreatures,passinginandoutoflife,
whomovealsoinadance,toamusicsosubtleandvastthatnoonehearsitexceptinfragments."~ Wendell Berry, excerpt from his poem "Healing”
Leavingthecircleunwindshowweentered.Yourcircleisfreetocreateitsownritualsbuttheyusuallyincludethreeelements:acheck-out,silence,andtheblowingoutofthecandle.
Check out Typical check-out question: In one word or sentence, what are you leaving with from today’s circle? What is percolating inside that you’d like to continue to work on?
One minute each
Silence between bells • Maystartwithapoemorsongbeforeringingthebellforsilence
Candle out ThisguidehasbeenpreparedbyHealingCirclesLangleybasedonourcollectiveexperience.WearedeeplygratefultoChristinaBaldwinandAnnLinneaofPeerSpiritandtoMichaelLernerofCommonwealfordevelopingthefoundationofthiswork.OtherhealingcirclesarewelcometouseandadaptthisguideunderCreativeCommonsprinciples.Thisisdraft3.0—wewelcomeyourinputtomakeitbetter.Pleasesendsuggestionstodianalindsay@healingcircleslangley.org.