the pulse 12.24 » june 11, 2015

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVEjuNE 11, 2015

screen

maddingsensitive hardy

theater

4 namesone weird play

music

genki2time to panic

how law enforcement is making a Difference in the city

violence reduction

turning the tideBy louis lee

2 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

chaTTanoogaPulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 3

THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. contents copyright © 2015 by Brewer media. all rights reserved.

Features4 BeGInnInGS: Always great music at Bonnaroo, and even more art and comedy.

6 SHADeS OF GReen: Our ‘green’ expert compares the bridge between Asia and Europe to us.

14 MuSIC CALenDAR

16 ReVIeWS: Melt-Banana back with more brain-thrash, Tal National gets precise and tight.

19 SuSHI & BISCuITS: Venturing into eating territory few have explored.

22 ARTS CALenDAR

25 DIVeRSIOnS

26 SCReen: “Far From the Madding Crowd” is sensitive Hardy adaptation.

28 FRee WILL ASTROLOGY

29 JOneSIn’ CROSSWORD

30 On THe BeAT: Officer Alex’s tales of a certain festival down by the river.

EDITORIALManaging editor gary Poole

Contributing editor Janis hashe

Music editor marc T. michael

Film editor John DeVore

ContributorsRob Brezsny • matt Jones • sandra Kurtz

louis lee • mike mcJunkin • Tony mrazernie Paik • Rick Pimental-habib

Rachael Poe • alex Teach

editorial Internsashley coker • shaun Webster

Cartoonistsmax cannon • Rob Rogers

Jen sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Cover Photo carl Ballou

Founded 2003 by Zachary cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISINGDirector of Sales mike Baskin

Account executives chee chee Brown • Randy Johnston

angela lanham • Rick leavellchester sharp • stacey Tyler

CONTACT Offices

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BREWER MEDIA GROUPPublisher & President Jim Brewer II

June 11, 2015volume 12, issue 24

8 We Are Not Ferguson or BaltimoreLast year around this time, The Pulse introduced you to a

young-ish, blue-eyed career lawman wearing comfortable shoes with which he planned to hit the ground running. Perhpas no

one knew at the time how apt that analogy would be.

12 The Horror of SurfboardsI love music. I love playing music, I love writing about music. I have the best job in the world as far as I’m concerned. Doing

what I do, I get to hear some truly amazing stuff.

20 They Are Not A Seagull…Scott Dunlap didn’t intend to see the New York production of

Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. “We’d gone to New York to see Giant at the Public,” he explains, “…during Hurricane Sandy. There was no power. We were standing in line at the

TKTS booth to see something else, and I thought, ‘I don’t know, Christopher Durang, it’ll be weird and he hates Catholicism’.”

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Bonnaroovians, Rejoice. It’s Time Again.Always great music and this year, even more art and comedy

The center of this area will be home to an interesting installation entitled the ‘Portal-potty’.”

“Summer’s almost (officially) here,

festival season is in full swing, and for many that means a trip to Manchester for the 14th annual Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. For four days the 700-acre farm, now known as Great Stage Park, will host our region’s big-gest party of the year.

Imagine a population equivalent to that of a small city camping together around multiple stages on which a bunch of awesome bands are perform-ing, and that will give you an idea of what this event is like.

A few of the artists featured this year are Billy Joel, Mumford & Sons, Ken-

drick Lamar, DEADMAU5, Florence and the Machine, My Morning Jacket, Robert Plant and the Sensational Space Shifters, Bassnectar, Flume, Hozier, Slayer, Ben Harper & The In-nocent Criminals, Flying Lotus, STS9, Belle and Sebastian, Ben Folds, Tears For Fears, Al-abama Shakes, Spoon, Childish Gambino, and Bela Fleck & Abigail Washburn.

I n s t a l l a t i o n sculptures will be put up by David Korins Design, a firm out of New York City that

works in theater, opera, film, TV, music, and festivals. Korins’s festival designs are futuris-tic, electric, and whimsical, adding a sense of other-worldliness to the environment. Visitors to last year’s Bonnaroo might remember his psychedelic LED clock tower that dominated “Centeroo,” the festival’s main crossroads area. Centeroo is home to a slew of vendors, food and beverage merchants, and interesting envi-ronments like the Fountain, a mini-water park where overheated festival-goers can splash around and cool off.

This year’s Fountain artist is Andrea von Bu-jdoss, aka Queen Andrea, a New York-based designer, illustrator, and graffiti artist whose bright neon murals are characterized by geo-metric shapes and graffiti writing. See her art at the start of the first-ever Roo Art Walk, led by Bonnaroo’s head of visual design Russ Bennett from the Fountain on Thursday at 4 p.m.

Diehard festival goers (known as “Bonna-roovians”) have a long-standing tradition of

having wacky-themed parades and costume parties, and you never really know when a glow stick war will break out. The festival will host two Art Cars, “Big Red” and “Mirage,” which will be roaming around the farm causing random dance parties.

New this year is “The Grove,” a patch of forest in the camp-grounds equipped with hanging hammocks, soundscapes, and a color string installation. The center of this area will be home to an interesting installation en-titled the “Portal-potty,” 16 por-ta-potties gutted and laid out in a ring. At times, the doors will be unlocked for people to enter into a performance space where they can experience intimate perfor-mances by magicians, musicians, and other surprises.

A star-studded lineup of co-medians, including Ralphie May, Chris Hardwick, Reggie Watts, Jeff Ross, Ari Shaffer, Nick Thune and Natasha Leggero, will be cracking jokes at the Comedy Tent. With this much talent and entertainment in one place, the biggest problem to expect at this year’s Bonnaroo is the sometimes-awful task of having to choose what to do. For more info, visit bonnaroo.com

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For two more weekends Scenic City Opera will boldly go where no production has gone be-fore and bring together the contrasting worlds of opera and “Star Trek.”

This galactic version of “Abduction From The Seraglio” is the brainchild of Laura Sage, who ran The Lyr-ic Opera of Los Angeles for 12 years before moving to Chattanooga. The show fea-tures the music of Wolfgang Amadeus

Mozart, translated into English by di-rector Josh Shaw, and the concept

is based on a rescue mission of the girlfriends of three

enslaved Starship En-terprise crewmembers.

Trekkies have lots of reasons to smile with Vulcans, Klin-gons, Enterprise char-

acters and authentic costumes and sets all fea-

tured. (Come in costume and get $5 off admission.) This

seemingly absurd marriage of two

worlds is an attempt to give tradition-al opera a facelift, and draw in a new wave of fans, including sci-fi fanatics and others who may be looking for something different…and I do mean different.

“It’s the perfect mash-up of the two genres, and is seriously roll-on-the-floor, laugh-out-loud funny,” Sage comments. “Even if you aren’t a Trek-kie, you’re going to be laughing at the antics. And if you’re already an opera lover, it’s a whole new take on an opera you’ve probably seen a jillion times.”

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EdiToonby Rob Rogers

Mozart Meets Star Trek in Operatic Mashup

Our cover story this week on the state of vio-lence in the city is by Louis

Lee, who has been involved in journalism dating back to his days on the high school newspaper staff. After a stint in the U.S. Navy, he worked for a weekly newspaper in Baton Rouge, then returned

to college for formal training in television news. He came to the Tennessee Valley in 1991 to work for WDEF-TV as a video-journalist, a re-porter who shoots his own stories. While working in the media and raising a fam-ily, Louis gave back to his community by volunteering as a reserve deputy sheriff in Bradley County. Louis is now an award-winning documentary filmmaker and freelance journalist.

Louis Lee

— Shaun Webster

Rachael Poe has written on a wide variety of topics for The Pulse.

A writer, photographer, and unabashed Tolkien fanatic, she graduated from The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga with a major in English literature and a minor in art history. She was

a co-editor of the National Collegiate Honors Council monograph entitled “Housing Honors” and a copyeditor for The Heroic Age, an academic journal about early medieval Northwestern Europe. In her spare time, she continues to explore her new home in Nashville while still keep-ing in touch with her Chat-tanooga roots. Oh, and she once accidentally attended a Spanish wedding in Seville. But that’s a different story.

Rachael Poe

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Whenever you go to a foreign country, you inevi-tably make comparisons. After all, the U.S. is excep-tional, right? Superiority verification is needed. For this column, searching for how others measure up on environmental, ecosystem, and energy issues is r e q u i r e d . Since I’m just back from Tur-key, I’ll present my observa-tions/comparisons in these areas.

First, Turkey sight-ings not seen in Tennes-see: Minarets everywhere. We dubbed them “singing rockets,” sending out daily musical prayer calls. Also, Italian cypress trees, mar-ble mountains, volcanoes, 3,000-year-old ruins in cit-ies amid houses and stores, sheep and goat herds, farm fields without fences, storks, ancient Roman and Greek statues, sultans’ pal-aces, groves of olive, pome-granate and fig trees, white poppy fields, underground cities, a pink bacteria lake, and seas. Did you know that tulips are native to Turkey, not Holland?

Geologically speaking, in Turkey, tectonic plates still cause earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and recrystallized limestone. Water and wind contribute to rugged ter-rain, and erosion. In Cappa-

docia’s lunar-like landscape, early inhabitants carved vil-lages from volcanic ash.

This young democratic republic, formed in 1923 by the revered Ataturk, is still developing, but removing religious control from gov-ernment has helped Turkey

thrive. Is-tanbul bus-tles with n u m e r o u s small shop owners, but

urban sprawl and defores-tation are environmental problems. In 15 years, Is-tanbul’s population doubled to 20 million. Consequently, high-rise home construction is extensive. Mass transit exists, but cars and manu-facturing contribute to air and water pollution.

Turkey has diverse eco-systems. Rugged moun-tains, windswept grasslands, and coastal habitats support trout, sea bass, lynx, jackal, brown bear, boar, fox, ibex, and goats as well as shore, field, and upland bird spe-cies. Lizards and feral cats frequent old ruins. The Taurus Frog is endangered. The hoopoe bird is stun-ningly beautiful. A mam-moth reforestation project is underway preserving hab-itat and curbing erosion and degradation. Although most Turkish citizens are seem-ingly indifferent about cli-mate change, tree planting helps. Also, your hotel key

card, when removed from a room slot, turns all the elec-tricity off. There are motion lights in all the hallways, too, which are real energy savers.

Much land is very fertile. Pesticide use is rising, but it is still lower than in most countries. Of course, the Mediterranean diet, which Turkey epouses, is known to be the healthiest. Fresh fruits and vegetables are mainstays, along with hot tea ready at every meal. In-triguing spices, toppings, eggplant dishes, cheeses, olives, and yogurts are usual offerings. Lentil soup, lamb kebobs and fresh fish are tasty. Colorful food markets line city streets. Most food is locally produced, helping prevent air pollution from transportation fuel use. Speaking of transportation, roads are good. If you stop to refuel, you’ll find fast healthy cafeteria food—un-like ours.

For electricity, Turkey still relies on fossil fuels. Hydroelectric dams are be-ing built, altering habitat, but this is better than other choices. Construction of a first nuclear plant is un-

derway. Fortunately, Turk-ish citizens living along coastlines have added on to new construction with solar batch water heaters perched on every roof. Mountainous areas sport windmills, while volcanoes support geother-mal plants. Electricity costs about $.08/kilowatt hour to our $.10.

In many ways, Turkey feels like the U.S.—only better. It appears we are behind in alternative en-ergy use. Infant mortality is lower in Turkey. There is too much over-consum-erism—but unemployment is lower. Cottage indus-tries allow workers to stay home, producing beautiful textiles, rugs, crafts, and agricultural products such as pine nuts. I saw no beg-gars or homeless. There is health care and education for all. Healthy food for the poor is available. Litter is hard to find. Recycling re-ceptacles are numerous.

Conclusion: The U.S. clearly lacks green supe-riority with more work re-quired. However, there’s nothing as good as a Ten-nessee homegrown tomato! In that, we are exceptional!

Walking And Talking Turkey

“Turkish citizens living along coastlines have added on to new construction with solar batch water heaters perched on every roof.”

Our ‘green’ expert compares the bridge between Asia and Europe to the U.S.

Shades of Green

SanDra KUrtz

Sandra Kurtz is an environmental com-munity activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. Visit her website at enviroedu.net


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Police Chief Fred Fletcher explains why it doesn’t have to happen hereStory and photos by Louis Lee

Ferguson, Baltimore…But Not Chattanooga?

l ast year around this time, The Pulse introduced you to a young-ish, blue-eyed career lawman wearing comfortable shoes with which he planned to hit the ground running. Perhpas no one knew at the time how apt that analogy would be. Chief Fred Fletcher not only runs the Chattanooga Police Depart-ment, he runs marathons and rides bikes, and visits the neighborhoods he and his officers are sworn to protect.

Those communities have seen much transpire over the last 12 months. Despite the appearance of an uptick in violence, the numbers actually reflect the opposite. Seemingly every day the news media report another shooting or other violent crime being commit-ted in our city. Yet, year-to-date, compared with 2014, shootings are down more than 15 percent. When you factor in the involvement of known gang members, the percentage goes up. Property crimes are down 8 percent and robberies decreased by 18 percent. Overall, total crime is 7.4 percent behind last year’s numbers.

The real story here is when you get behind the numbers and look into why Chattanooga is becom-ing a safer place to live. “I just try to get to know everybody as much as I can,” explains Captain Brian Cotter during a recent ride-along. “Once you get to know people, they point out who the trouble-makers are.” In that one sentence, Cotter succinctly explains the premise of “Community Policing,” one of the three “pillars” of Chief Fletcher’s approach to fight-ing crime. “It used to be, you came through [Wilson Street] there was somebody standing on every other

street corner slinging dope,” Cotter admits. “Now at least they know they have to hide it.” While on the surface that may not sound like a rousing success story, it’s an indication that the criminal element is on alert that police will not stand for brazen acts that offend the general public.

“For the last several months and going forward, every morning we run a report of shots-fired calls from the night before,” says Fletcher. “And the next day we expect patrol officers to go out to the neighbor-hoods where those shots were fired, get out of their cars and engage community members.” Fletcher explains that this lets the public know the officers are aware of the problem and gives residents an oppor-tunity to give police information which may help in locating the offenders. Fletcher says the preponder-ance of information coming in from citizens is helping law enforcement piece together patterns and make more effective arrests.

It’s a policy and way of doing business that the rank and file cop on the beat can get behind…now. “I think when the officers see it’s important to the boss, some of them that were kind of on the fence, not re-

“I think it’s the antidote to most of the criticisms other departments have had about oppressive tactics like ‘stop-and-frisk’ and over-saturations and over-policing,” Fletcher explains about Focused Deterrence.


ally into it, will get that nudge to start doing something,” confesses Cotter. He says once the officers start interacting more with the public, they actually like it. This old Andy Taylor-style of police work may seem low tech, but it actually falls under the moniker “Intelligence-Led Policing,” the second pillar of Fletcher’s crime-fighting philosophy. That’s be-cause the officers now turn in all the information they gather on the streets and a team of highly-skilled analysts comb through the data and find patterns in the chaos. This leads to a more focused ap-proach to getting the bad guys, which brings us to Fletcher’s third pillar, “Focused Deterrence.”

“I think it’s the antidote to most of the criticisms other departments have had about oppressive tactics like ‘stop-and-frisk’ and over-satu-rations and over-policing,” Fletch-er explains about Focused Deter-rence. “You give me enough cops in a small enough area and I can eliminate all crime. But you also cause other problems,” the chief explains. “What’s the old saying, ‘an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind?’” The chief is talking

about officers being more selective in the actions they take. Instead of sweeping dragnets that often pull in innocent (or less-than-guilty) participants, his officers use infor-mation to find the main offenders and get them off the streets. But don’t think law enforcement is go-ing soft.

“There’s a lot of enforcement. It’s not a touchy-feely effort,” says Fletcher, emphatically making a point. “When we think you are a gang or group member who endan-gers our community, we’re going to do everything we can to get you off the street.” And yet the CPD is doing that all while making fewer arrests. Overall, arrests are down 20 percent in the city. Chattanooga has an arrest rate about half of comparable cities in Tennessee.

Fletcher gives the example that if a large “bust” happens to net a few individuals who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, it could start a chain reaction. “That person is now in jail. He misses work, loses his job, now they’re not able to make child support payments…you can see where this is going,” says Fletcher.

“We have police officers who

were social workers, liberal arts majors, that are pastors, that were missionaries, that come from a background of truly wanting to serve their community,” boasts Fletcher. He says his officers really care about doing their job in an ef-fective manner that puts the least amount of stress on the general populace.

“Today I’m proud to say that we haven’t had a Ferguson,” says James Moreland, an East Chat-tanooga resident, implying there’s no animosity toward police. “We haven’t had a Baltimore. And I think a lot of work goes into it.” Sitting on his front porch with a view of Lookout Mountain, Mo-reland sweeps his hand across the air as if to flamboyantly introduce me to his neighborhood. “[Chief Fletcher] is doing a good job push-ing and encouraging his officers to learn how to work in partnership with the community.”

That word “partnership” comes up a lot when talking to the chief as well. When the subject of Fer-guson or Baltimore comes up, he educates you on how planning can prevent these scenarios. “When

>> Continued on page 11

(left) Lt. Bakari Welles works on covering up gang-related graffiti.

(right) officer Clay Palmer shows off his motorcycle to

neighborhood children.

“The key to not being a ‘Ferguson’ is to not respond, but to be proactive and develop relationships and the philosophies and the programs before those issues arise in your community.”


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WHERE SUMMERSKIN RULES

OUR STORY Bella Vita is a Mediterranean Inspired, Southern Infused restaurant that brings authentic cuisine and the warmth of Greek hospitality to Chattanooga’s Southside.

Specifically designed to create a setting that is openhearted and friendly, the restaurant’s nature brings a sense of comfort to guests. Guests can unwind in the Sun Bar, enjoy each other’s company in the dining room, or take advan-tage of spring and summertime weather on the Italian-inspired patio.

Each dish is prepared and served with attention to detail by an inviting staff that collectively shares the desire to make the dining experience here a small piece of a wonderful life.

1400 Cowart St | Chattanooga, TN 37408 | 423.668.6807

LOOK FORWARD TO• Fresh Steak and Seafood

• Authentic Italian and Mediterranean Food

• 11am – 7pm Weekday Happy Hour

• Spring and Summer Patio Small Plate Menu

A D V E R T O R I A L

OUR STORY Bella Vita is a Mediterranean Inspired, Southern Infused restaurant that brings authentic cuisine and the warmth of Greek hospitality to Chattanooga’s Southside.

Specifically designed to create a setting that is openhearted and friendly, the restaurant’s nature brings a sense of comfort to guests. Guests can unwind in the Sun Bar, enjoy each other’s company in the dining room, or take advan-tage of spring and summertime weather on the Italian-inspired patio.

Each dish is prepared and served with attention to detail by an inviting staff that collectively shares the desire to make the dining experience here a small piece of a wonderful life.

1400 Cowart St | Chattanooga, TN 37408 | 423.668.6807

LOOK FORWARD TO• Fresh Steak and Seafood

• Authentic Italian and Mediterranean Food

• 11am – 7pm Weekday Happy Hour

• Spring and Summer Patio Small Plate Menu

A D V E R T O R I A L

Bella Vita is a Mediterranean Inspired, Southern Infused restaurant that brings authentic Cuisine and the warmth of Greek hospitality to Chattanooga’s Southside.

Unwind in the Sun Bar, enjoy company in the dining room, or take advantage of the spring weather on our Italian-inspired patio.

Each dish is carefully prepared and served with attention to detail by an inviting staff that collectively shares the desire to make your dining experience here a small piece of a wonderful life.

• Angus Beef and Fresh Seafood• Authentic Italian and Mediterranean Food• 11am – 7pm Weekday Happy Hour• Spring and Summer Patio Small Plate Menu

1400 Cowart St | Chattanooga | 423.668.6807


you respond to something, it looks like a Band-Aid,” Fletcher ex-plains, “When you create some-thing, a relationship, a program, a philosophy, when you don’t need to do it, people accept it as some-thing that’s good on its own merit. The key to not being a ‘Ferguson’ is to not respond, but to be proac-tive and develop relationships and the philosophies and the programs before those issues arise in your community.”

Back in July 2009, Chatta-noogans were “reacting” to a disturbing scene. Six Chattanooga police officers arrived on the scene to find a man holding a rifle to his chin, threatening suicide. Friends and relatives of the man tried for hours to get him to put the gun down. A street sweeper saw the man walking around the neighbor-hood with the weapon and called police. Within five minutes of their arrival, the six officers fired 59 bullets from a distance of between 10 and 15 feet, hitting Alonzo Heyward 43 times. The incident created a firestorm of controversy, involving everyone from politi-cians to civil rights groups to aver-

age citizens asking why such force was needed. Lessons learned from the resulting investigation were implemented in future training for all officers.

While this was long before Fletcher came to town, the chief explains an analogy he often uses in which he brings a plate into a room and proceeds to tell the people in the room the “history” of the plate and how it is a family heirloom, passed down through the generations—then he smashes it with a hammer. He hands the group the pieces, along with glue and tape and asks them to put it back together. Of course the result is less than perfect, which is what leads Fletcher to the moral of the story: “You can rebuild trust, but it’ll never look the same, it will never work the same, it will be a lesser version of what it was.”

The CPD is still putting that plate back together, and there’s still much work to be done, but progress is being made. Take, for example, a recent home invasion. “Officers responded to a home invasion/burglary in progress,” de-tails Fletcher. “The homeowner

had fired shots at the bad guy, bad guy is running, police officers are chasing him, officers see the bad guy with a gun.” The chief pauses for effect. “They take him into custody with no use of force.” He goes on to illustrate how of-ficers in his command are using discretion in their use of force. “In 2014, my officers took 702 guns off the street,” he recounts. “They put themselves between community and a gun to get it off the streets. Seven hundred and two times without the use of deadly force.”

Is that alone going to completely fix trust issues between the public and the law? Only time will tell. The chief refers to a poster con-cerning Ultra Running that says “Relentless Forward Progress.”

“I run these stupid races,” says Fletcher, laughing, “50 miles, 100 K's…and people ask me how to run a 50-mile race. I say ‘You don’t. You run 50 one-mile races.’ And the key to doing them is just always keep moving.”

It looks like the chief is planning on putting a lot more mileage on those comfortable shoes.

(l to r) James moreland and Captain Brian Cotter.

“It’s not a touchy-feely effort, When we think you are a gang or group member who endangers our community, we’re going to do everything we can to get you off the street.”


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fri6.12THE PIANO MAN

Steven Mullannashville-based singer-songwriter tickles the ivories with original tunes influenced by acts as diverse as Dr. John, Jamiroquai, michael Jackson and the Beatles.9 p.m.World of Beer412 Market St.worldofbeer.com

SAT6.13MARkET MUSIC

Jennifer Danielsa voice of an angel and the sensibility of a troubadour, Jennifer has been telling musical tales of life, love and all points in between to appreciative audiences for years.12:30 p.m.Chattanooga River Market1 Broad St.chattanoogarivermarket.com

Thu6.11AMERICANA FOLk

Tab Spencera combination of americana and neo-folk music with lyrics set in a thoroughly modern setting, featuring Garrett Bourdon and Jack Kirton with musical friends.8 p.m.The Social1110 Market St.(423) 266-3366

Psyched For This Trippy RagerProgressive jam bands play Rhythm & Brews Saturday

traffic will soon go from really ter-rible back to just a little terrible, and you will know that Chattanooga has bid ado to another year of river-bend’s long days and longer lines.

the music doesn’t have to stop when the stages come down, though. Everyone knows the most important party is the after-party, and rhythm & Brews has a killer show lined up. Psychedelic rockers Shabti and agori tribe will take over the venue’s small but well-respected stage Saturday night.

Shabti seamlessly melds the sounds of rock and blues in a way that will surprise even the most sea-soned of the genre’s fans. they are joined later by agori tribe, whose

trippy tunes and well-curated setlists can only be described as an acid trip sans acid.

Whether you decided to forgo riverbend’s outdoor venues and overheated crowds or you just aren’t ready to stop the party yet, Shabti and agori tribe will give you a show that’s easy to love and hard to forget. after all, there’s only one way to get a festival out of your system—with a rager.

— Ashley Coker

Shabti, Agori TribeSaturday, 10 p.m.Rhythm & Brews221 Market St.rhythm-brews.com

MusicmarC t. miChaEL

It’s music for road trips on hot days, for being 17 again and shredding on a skateboard, for bouncing and pogoing and moshing in a crowded bar.”

“

The Horror, The Horror… of SurfboardsGenki Genki Panic is wicked instrumental fun with masks

I LOVE MUSIC. I LOVE PLAYING MUSIC, I LOVE WRIT-ing about music. I have the best job in the world as far as I’m

concerned. Doing what I do, I get to hear some truly amazing stuff. I have yet to review a band whose music didn’t have some unique quality, something original to that group of performers that I could talk about.

Sometimes there isn’t enough space to write about all that’s fresh and origi-nal with a group, other times it takes a little more digging to find that kernel of creative spark that only band X has, but everyone has their own voice.

However…unique voice or not, cer-tain genres tend to dominate a given market, and after a while you find your-self longing for some variety, so it is with great pleasure that this week’s feature is about something very different.

Genki Genki Panic self-describes as “instrumental horror surf” music, and that’s precisely what it is. Imagine that Dick Dale or the Ventures had part-nered up with Ed Wood and you’ve got a good idea what the boys are about, al-though you may need to throw in some video game themes and vintage car-toons for the full effect.

The band is a three-piece, featuring “Chancho” on guitar, “El Fatsquatch” on drums and vocals (vocals being an easy gig in an instrumental band) and “Larde” on bass. The fact that they ap-pear in public exclusively in luchador masks should come as a shock to no one, ever.

This is the point where I’d offer an analysis of a few tunes, but here’s the

Shabti


In much the same way as a mother cat brings a w o u n d e d mouse to her kittens in order to teach them v a l u a b l e h u n t i n g skills, so too the venerable “open mic” has been a proving ground for fledgling performers to cut their teeth since Elvis first sang “Old Shep.”

Our fair city has a few open mics, but there’s a new game in town. The all-new Granfalloon at 400 E. Main Street is sponsoring its own open mic, hosted by Chattanooga rising star, Nick Lutsko.

Nick, already known as a skillful performer and popular entertainer, now takes up the man-tle of “open mic” emcee every Monday night at Granfalloon with sign ups at 7 p.m. and perfor-mances running from 8 to 11 p.m. The event isn’t limited to singer/songwriters—all perform-ers are welcome, including improv actors, stand-up comedians, dancers and poets.

If you are a performer and you’re looking for a place to showcase your talents, hone your skills or just network with other performers, Nick Lutsko and Granfalloon have got you cov-ered. Granfalloon will feature $3 pints and the kitchen will be open until 10 p.m.

Get On the Bill Mondays at Grandfalloon

— MTM

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thing: There is no analysis of surf music, horror or otherwise. It’s straightforward fun, and that’s it. The drums provide a frenetic beat, the bass thumps and the guitar is sonic amphetamines winding its way through exotic scales. That’s it. It is minimalist and it is magical.

Don’t get me wrong—I love singer/songwriters and socially conscious bands, but once in a while it’s good to leave all that baggage behind, crank up the volume and just enjoy the sound and that is what Genki Genki Panic is for. It’s music for road trips on hot days, for being 17 again and shredding on a skate-board, for bouncing and pogoing and moshing in a crowded bar on a sweaty night while pounding cold beers.

As there are no lyrics or hidden agendas, the music is accessible

to everyone, but there are Easter eggs for the initiated in terms of song titles. They tend to be sly puns, inside jokes or references to famous horror icons. “HPV Lovecraft” is both a rocking tune and a title that makes me giddy. “Sexting the Dead” takes a se-rious look at drunk dialing your deceased ex via Ouija board.

“Your Body is a Wasteland” is self-explanatory. If Oderus Urun-gus hadn’t snuffed it, I could eas-ily imagine these guys opening for GWAR and if one of them doesn’t have a shrine to Vincent Price somewhere in the base-ment, I’m getting them one for Christmas.

The fellas have some ambi-tions. I’ve already heard one gorgeous album’s worth of tunes (Ghoulie High Harmony)and in a few weeks they’re headed back in to the studio to record a new

one (rumored to feature a special appearance by an Elvis imper-sonator…or is he?).

They’re looking to start a bi-monthly surf show in the area. Kudos to the first bar owner clev-er enough to jump on that. In the meantime, you can catch the fel-lows this weekend at the all-new Granfalloon on Saturday, June 13 at 8 p.m.

They will also be appearing the following Friday (June 19) at Ziggy’s at 9 p.m. with special guests Silver Tongued Devil and the rockabilly/surf heroes Get Hot or Go Home. Go out, forget about the wide, wicked world for a while and turn on to some wicked fun instead with Genki Genki Panic.

• • • •Keep up with the Genki Genki

Panic via their Facebook page and website, genkigenkipanic.com


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thursday6.11 Hunter Hayes, The Suffers, Kawehi, Trevor Card, Yacht Rock Revue, Suzy Bogguss, Harpeth Rising, Little River Band, KOA, Social Network, No Big Deal, Scott Brown Band6 p.m.riverbend Festival200 riverfront Pkwy.riverbendfestival.comSongwriter Shootout7 p.m.the Camp house149 E. mLK Blvd.thecamphouse.comFeel It Thursday Open Mic7 p.m.mocha restaurant & music Lounge511 Broad St.mochajazz.netchattanoogagrace.comJesse James & Tim Neal7 p.m.mexi Wings Vii5773 Brainerd rd.(423) 296-1073Tab Spencer8 p.m.the Social1110 market St.(423) 266-3366Open Mic with Hap Henninger9 p.m.the office @ City Cafe901 Carter St.citycafemenu.comHank & Cupcakes9 p.m.

rhythm & Brews221 market St.rhythm brews.com

friday6.12

The Old Time Travelers & Taylor Kress9 a.m.rock City1400 Patten rd.seerockcity.comGregg Allman, Sons of Bill, Smith & Wesley, Arson, Molly Hatchet, Annie and the Hot Club, Jack Pearson/Jonell Mosser, Cole Swindell, Wrecking Crew, Preston Parris Band, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Drew Sterchi & Blues Tribe6 p.m.riverbend Festival

200 riverfront Pkwy.riverbendfestival.comDismembered Tennesseans7 p.m. nightfall Concert Seriesmiller Plaza850 market St.nightfallchattanooga.comRiver City Sessions 7 p.m.the Camp house149 E. mLK Blvd.thecamphouse.comMercy’s Well7:30 p.m.ringgold Depot155 Depot St., ringgoldcityofringgold.comBand of Ruhks8 p.m. nightfall Concert Seriesmiller Plaza850 market St.nightfallchattanooga.com

Rick Rushing &The Blues Strangers8:30 p.m.the Foundry1201 Broad St.chattanooganhotel.comSteven Mullan9 p.m.World of Beer412 market St.worldofbeer.comRamble in the Attic Live9 p.m.t-Bones 1419 Chestnut St.tbonessportscafe.comCourtney Daly9 p.m.the office @ City Cafe901 Carter St. citycafemenu.comDesert Noises, Penicillin Baby 9 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. mLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400jjsbohemia.comAddison Johnson10 p.m.tremont tavern 1203 hixson Piketremonttavern.com

saturday6.13 The Old Time Travelers, Tarryn Aimee Smith 9 a.m.rock City1400 Patten rd.seerockcity.comIll Nino, Straight Line

Pulse Pick: the stratoblastersChattanooga’s favorite party band—featuring some of this city's most well-known radio talents—will bring their classic rock show band to the Market for a your dining, dancing and shopping pleasure.

The StratoblastersSunday, 12:30 p.m.Chattanooga market1829 Carter St.chattanoogamarket.com

LIVE MUSIC

CHATTANOOGA

JUNE

6.26 BACKUP PLANET 6.27 THE VELCRO PYGMIES7.2 FLASHLIGHT SHOWS PRESENT: TORRES

11THU9:3OpHANK & CUPCAKES

with SMOOTH DIALECTS

SOUL MECHANICALLMAN BROTHERS AFTER PARTY

13SAT10pSHABTI, AGORI TRIBE

THROWING DOWN THE JAM

18THU9pALANNA ROYALE

with CALEB HAWLEY & MATHIEN

SOCRO EURO DANCE + SOUTHERN HIP HOP

20SAT10p

MIGHTY SIDESHOWwith HOUR LATE

25THU9pTHE CADILLAC SAINTS

EPIC GUITAR RIFFS & SOULFUL VOCALS

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREETHOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

COMING IN JULY

FLY BY RADIO FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL

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Stone Temple Pilots

Stitch, Motograternoonthe Warehouse5617 ringgold rd., #105(423) 757-1569Jennifer Daniels12:30 p.m.Chattanooga river market1 Broad St.chattanoogarivermarket.comStone Temple Pilots, Pigeons Playing Ping Pong, 8TRK, Chubb Rock, Rock Skool Chattanooga, The Dead Deads, Natural Habitz, Scarlet Love Conspiracy, Brightside, Nick Lutsko, Here Come The Mummies6 p.m.riverbend Festival200 riverfront Pkwy.riverbendfestival.comJericho Brass7 p.m.mountain arts Community Center809 Kentucky St.signalmacc.orgGenki Genki Panic8 p.m. Granfalloon400 E. main St. granfallooncha.comAddison Johnson8 p.m.Wheelie’s Bar & Grill742 ashland terrace(423) 710-8739Cody James Harris8 p.m.Wired Coffee Bar9447 Bradmore Lane, #101thewiredcoffeebar.comPLVNET

8 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. mLK Blvd.jjsbohemia.comRiver Canyon8 p.m.Sky zoo5709 Lee hwy.skyzoochattanooga.comRick Rushing & The Blues Strangers8:30 p.m.the Foundry1201 Broad St.chattanooganhotel.comShabti, Agori Tribe10 p.m.rhythm & Brews221 market St.rhythm-brews.comHap Henninger10 p.m.the office @ City Cafe901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

sunday6.14 The Old Time Travelers, Highbeams9 a.m.rock City1400 Patten rd.seerockcity.comRissi Palmer11 a.m.the Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St.flyingsquirrelbar.comThe Stratoblasters 12:30 p.m.Chattanooga market1829 Carter St.

chattanoogamarket.comFritsl Butler1:30 p.m.the Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St.flyingsquirrelbar.comOpen Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.Long haul Saloon2536 Cummings hwy.(423) 822-9775

monday6.15 Adam Wayne6 p.m.alhambra Shrine1000 alhambra Dr.alhambrashrine.comMonday Nite Big Band7 p.m.the Coconut room6925 Shallowford rd.thepalmsathamilton.comOpen Mic7 p.m.magoo’s restaurant3658 ringgold rd.facebook.com/magoostnVery Open Mic8 p.m.the Well1800 rossville Blvd. #8wellonthesouthside.com

tuesday6.16 Bill McCallie & In Cahoots6:30 p.m.Southern Belle riverboat201 riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com

Rick’s Blues Jam7 p.m.Folk School of Chattanooga1200 mountain Creek rd.chattanoogafolk.comOpen Mic with Mike McDade8 p.m.tremont tavern 1203 hixson Piketremonttavern.com

wednesday6.17 The Other Guys 6 p.m.Springhill Suites495 riverfront Pkwy.(423) 834-9300Ethan Parker Band7 p.m.the Camp house149 E. mLK Blvd.thecamphouse.comOpen Jam8 p.m.raw Bar & Grill409 market St.rawbarandgrillchatt.comWednesday Night Jazz8 p.m.Barking Legs theater1307 Dodds ave.barkinglegs.orgBlues Night with Yattie Westfield8 p.m.the office @ City Cafe901 Carter St.citycafemenu.com

Map these locations on chatta-noogapulse.com. Send event list-ings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd.423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

Friday • June 12Desert NoisesPenicilin Baby

Friday • June 19Turbo Fruits

Saturday • June 20Dead DeadsTrue Violet

Tuesday • June 23Frontier Folk Nebraska

Saturday • June 27Ben Nichols (Lucero)

James Legg

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd.423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St. Inside City Cafe (423) 634-9191

Thursday, June 11: 9pmOpen Mic with Hap Henninger

Friday, June 12: 9pmCourtney Daly

Saturday, June 13: 10pmHap Henninger

Tuesday, June 16: 7pmServer/Hotel Appreciation Night$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells ● $1.50 Domestics

Wednesday, June 17: 8pmBlues Night feat. Yattie Westfield

citycafemenu.com/the-office


Record ReviewsERNIE PAIk

Japanese Hedgehogs Return, Saharan Rock Meets AfrobeatMelt-Banana back with brain-thrash, Tal National gets precise and tight

If the violent cartoon char-acters Itchy and Scratchy

formed a hardcore band and were from Japan, they might sound like Melt-Banana. That description doesn’t do the band justice, for a group that has the super-human speed and pummeling inten-sity it does, with a distinc-tive weirdness and affinity for creating absolutely deli-ciously sick guitar noises.

Melt-Banana’s new release Return of 13 Hedgehogs, sub-titled “MxBx singles 2000 – 2009,” collects 29 tracks originally on various singles and split-singles, and it takes up where their 56-track 2005 compilation 13 Hedgehogs left off. Since the band’s material is so potent and stabbing, the single format is ideal—just hit it and quit it, and leave the listener gobsmacked and wanting to immediately hear it again.

So, when you put all this material on a single CD, lis-tening to it from start to fin-

ish is overwhelming. Aside from the normal 7-inch sin-gle and 10-inch EP formats, Return of 13 Hedgehogs culls tracks from non-standard 5-inch, 6-inch and 8-inch vinyl releases, which likely induced wet dreams among vinyl fetishists.

The two key members are female singer Yako—who provides manic, staccato vo-cals—and guitarist Agata, whose guitar licks are noth-ing less than awe-spiring, bending and distorting and abusing his notes until they are unrecognizable, like on the insane “Steel me lust.”

Among the pedal-effect-laden, thrashing onslaught are a few diversions, like the sample-spitting, dub-echo-ing “Capital 1060 Hospital” and the tiger-on-the-keys piano madness of “52 hands, 36 possibilities.”

Also included are several cover songs, such as the fren-zied ska glee of “Monkey Man” originally by Toots and

the Maytals, plus inspired takes on Devo’s “Uncon-trollable Urge” and “Love Song” by The Damned.

With brain-melting guitar work, hostile-yet-oddly-cute vocals and constantly inven-tive, limit-pushing sound treatments, Melt-Banana can never be accused of being boring.

Although today there are fewer barriers that

impede musical discovery, when it comes to breaking out of the western world/non-western world divide, there are still roadblocks.

Some listeners may be sty-mied by language barriers and a possible inability to re-late to certain pond-crossing music, which is likely why non-English-sung interna-tional hits are few and far between and often novelties. Western world explorers of music with African origins—think Talking Heads or Paul Simon in the ’80s and Vam-pire Weekend and others more recently—are accused of appropriation as often as they are considered ambas-sadors.

This writer is typically gentle toward musicians who consciously and thoughtfully attempt to open ears and not be stingy cultural gate-keep-ers and looks forward to the day when a person off the street can tell the difference between music from Moroc-co, Ethiopia and Nigeria as

easily as music from various American regions.

With all this in mind, al-though the hardest work-ing band in the West Afri-can country of Niger—Tal National—is known for its tenacity and marathon per-formances, the Chicagoan Jamie Carter facilitated get-ting Tal National exposure outside of Niger; Carter re-corded both the excellent 2013 album Kaani and the new full-length Zoy Zoy for the band, using a remote re-cording setup in a makeshift studio.

While Zoy Zoy might be slightly less of a revelation to those who heard Kaani, nev-ertheless it sports a breath-taking precision and high level of energy forged with and intense concentration.

Fusing Saharan guitar rock with a touch of an Afrobeat vibe, the channel-separated guitars interlock inside each track’s soundstream, re-corded cleanly without room for error; the bass provides counterpoint rather than merely being an anchor, and the drumming is incredibly tight, nimble and chiseled.

While the group has a typi-cal rock band instrumental setup, the call-and-response vocals use female backing singers to carry the spirit of the combination of originals and traditional numbers on another compelling release, deserving of a wide audi-ence.

Melt-BananaReturn of 13 Hedgehogs(A-Zap)

Tal NationalZoy Zoy(FatCat)

Wed, June 17 • 7:15 PMvs. Jacksonville

Great Outdoors NightThu, June 18 • 7:15 PM

vs. JacksonvilleGeorgia Night • Thirsty Thursday

Fri, June 19 • 7:15 PMvs. Jacksonville

Agriculture Night • Fireworks!Sat, June 20 • 7:15 PM

vs. JacksonvilleAgriculture Night

Sun, June 21 • 2:15 PMvs. Jacksonville

2015 Team Card Set Giveaway

HOME GAMES


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It was bound to happen eventually. I bought, cleaned, cooked and ate lamb testicles. I’ve certainly eaten my fair share of “bizarre” foods; sea urchin, balut, beef heart, cen-tury eggs, ant larvae, raw meat, and al-most every part of ev-ery barnyard animal has graced my plate at some point. Animal testes, however, have some-how escaped my adventurous maw—until now. I’ve never been opposed to eating an animal’s testicles on principle. After all, as a responsible car-nivore, isn’t it hypocritical to judge one cut of meat over an-other? From a broad, cultural perspective, is it wrong to say that one part of the animal is “better” than another?

Fergus Henderson, regard-ed as a modern-day pioneer of nose-to-tail cooking, famously said, “If you’re going to knock it on the head, it seems only polite to eat the whole thing.” If you are going to raise an animal for its meat, throwing away the parts that don’t be-come steak, roast or ground is an inexcusable waste of life and the resources consumed to create it.

Offal (a term used to de-scribe any parts of a meat ani-mal that are eaten but are not skeletal muscle) has recently seen a resurgence in popular-ity, both in Europe and the U.S., but it has mostly focused on tongue, heart, liver, pig trot-ters and ears. Sure, there are enclaves of Chris Cosentino-

worshipping, self-proclaimed, offal connoisseurs that will or-der up the occasional plate of sweetbreads or pick through a slow-cooked pig’s foot twice a year; but in today’s world of

nose-to-ta i l eating, the hanging ten-dergroins are what separate the peach fuzz from the bristles.

Finding a source for reason-ably fresh, quality animelles is tricky. Your best bet is to befriend a farmer or butcher, such as the good folks at Main Street Meats. Currently, most male livestock are castrated shortly after birth, which tends to cut down on the avail-ability of fresh fries, so having a friend that will think of you whenever they see balls is tru-ly a friend indeed.

Once you get your hands on a good pair, you’ve got to check for quality. Make sure they are firm and pinkish in color. Like most glands, they’re at their best when they are fresh, so try to buy them within a day or two of when you plan to cook them. Testicles also freeze well, with no discernible loss due to shrinkage or shriveling.

The actual act of preparing testicles for cooking is easier than the thought of preparing them for cooking. Testicles have two membranes that sur-round the glands like a pro-tective sack. These have to be removed carefully. Use a very sharp knife to cut through the outer tissue, which can then be peeled back to reveal

the inner membrane, which should also be removed in the same way, especially if you in-tend to cook your balls whole. This outer membrane shrinks rapidly when heated, caus-ing the gland to explode and shoot its contents everywhere like...well…never mind. To prevent a very unpleasant and ruinous ball burst, puncture the inner membrane so it can shrink safely away from the testicle.

Once you have freed the flesh-colored and slightly frag-ile gland from its protective sacks, I recommend a nice long bath in two parts milk and one part salt water to help pull out any remaining blood or gaminess (unless you’re into that; who am I to judge?). It’s at this point you’ll find yourself mesmerized by the pallid, squishy orbs that will try to escape your grasp like the water snake wigglies you played with in middle school. Don’t be distracted.

After an overnight bath, gently slice the little guys into 1-2 inch-thick ovals, dip into

an egg wash spiked with a few dashed of hot sauce, dredge in a flour-cornmeal mixture, and fry to golden brown.

I can’t tell you much about other testicles, but the taste of lamb fries is shockingly unremarkable. I prepared myself for a huge blast of flavor like something out of Guy Fieri’s gym bag, but the actual testicle turned out to be very tame, with a mild, veal-like taste and a texture somewhere be-tween a cooked scallop and slow-poached chicken. Since they’re glands, not muscle, they’re extremely tender, and overall the experience was similar to eating a delicious, fried pâté medallion.

I want to be a responsible eater and respect the animals that give their all by not dis-carding anything that may have culinary value. Putting psychological barriers and cul-turally ingrained taste aver-sions aside, lamb testicles are a perfectly acceptable food and honestly—shouldn’t we all be eating more balls?

A Test of Nose-to-Tail CookingChef McJunkin venturesinto eating territory few have braved thus far

Sushi &Biscuits

miKE mcJUnKin

“Finding a source for reasonably fresh, quality animelles is tricky. Your best bet is to befriend a farmer or butcher, such as the good folks at Main Street Meats.”

Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits


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fri6.12ExPLORATION

“RED”a five-act folk dance exploration in themes ranging from birth to coming together in life.7:30 p.m.Barking Legs Theater1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org

SAT6.13ON A THREAD

World Wide Knit in Public Day Grab your needles and yarn and express your knitting love in public.9:30 a.m.Downtown Public Library1001 Broad St.(423) 757-5310chattlibrary.org

Thu6.11ARTS SUPPORT

Arts Build FundraiserCome out and help support one of the city's best arts organizations with a drink or three.5 p.m.The Flying Squirrel Bar55 Johnson St.(423) 602-5980flyingsquirrelbar.com

You Don’t Know Beans“The Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack” comes to the MACC

the mountain arts Community Center is putting its foot down. Forget overpriced hollywood dra-mas or prepackaged DVDs. instead, check out entertainment in its most basic form and, consequently, its best—just a man and his puppets.

Popular atlanta-based puppeteer Lee Bryan has built a reputation that simply pitches him as “that Pup-pet Guy!” his rendition of a fairy tale classic, entitled “the Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack,” comes to the maCC on monday, June 15 at 11 a.m. it follows the timeless tale of a boy stumbling across magic beans, outwitting a Giant, grabbing the gold and saving his farm, but offers a contemporary spin with an ener-getic musical accompaniment.

Kids will be treated to a visual bar-rage of engaging rod puppets, hand puppets and shadow puppets, as parents sit back—and perhaps enjoy a little nostalgia while having some family fun without the all-too famil-iar buzz of electronics. Bryan will also stick around after the show to meet guests and take pictures with his beloved cast of characters.

— Shaun Webster

“The Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack”Monday, June 15, 11 a.m.Mountain Arts Community Center809 Kentucky Ave., Signal Mountain(423) 886-1959signalmacc.org

Durang, known for earlier pieces such as Beyond Therapy and Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You, has mellowed—or maybe the world has gotten more surreal."

“

SCOTT DUNLAP DIDN’T INTEND TO SEE THE NEW York production of Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. “We’d

gone to New York to see Giant at the Public,” he explains, “…during Hurricane Sandy. There was no power. We were standing in line at the TKTS booth to see something else, and I thought, ‘I don’t know, Christopher Durang, it’ll be weird and he hates Ca-tholicism.’” But Dunlap took a chance anyway.

ArtsJaniS haShE

They Are Not A Seagull…Well, Maybe A LittleChattanooga Theatre Centre opens Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

“And at intermission, I was so ex-cited about the show. It’s so funny and so unlike other Durang plays,” he says. In fact, Dunlap liked the play so much, he returned to New York to see it again when it moved to Broadway. When the opportunity arose to direct the 2013 Tony Award-winner for Best Play at the Chatta-nooga Theatre Centre, he jumped at it. The piece opens Friday on the CTC’s Circle Stage.

Naturally, with a title like that, “V&S&M&S” deals with arche-types drawn from the works of Anton Chekhov. As explained in the CTC’s materials: “Vanya, Sonia, and Masha are three siblings whose artsy par-ents (now deceased) named them af-ter characters from Chekhov. Vanya and Sonia lived at home to care for their ailing parents while sister Ma-sha traveled the world as an interna-tional movie star.

“Now Masha is back with her boy-toy Spike in tow, and she’s intent on selling the house. Add to the mix a housekeeper with second sight and a


star-struck girl-next-door and thus en-sues a comical weekend in the coun-try.”

Yet Dunlap emphasizes that au-dience members don’t have to be steeped in Russian drama to appreci-ate the play. In fact, he says, he’s no Chekhov expert himself. “I didn’t read Chekhov in school. As a theatre person, I knew enough to get most of the references when I saw it the first time, which makes the jokes funny on two levels—but it’s just funny in any case.”

Durang, known for earlier pieces such as “Beyond Therapy” and “Sis-ter Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You,” “has mellowed—or maybe the world has gotten more surreal,” muses Dunlap.

His cast (Greg Ramblin, Sr., Julie Van Valkenburg, Kristina Montague, Tom Majors, Maya Abram and Me-gan Cobb), came to rehearsals with various levels of familiarity with both Durang and Chekhov. “Everyone has done their research,” Dunlap says. “And everyone can relate to unre-solved family issues and how family members know how to push your but-tons. Something will catch my periph-eral vision [in rehearsal] and everyone will be laughing.”

As he usually does, Dunlap is de-signing costumes along with direct-ing. The play’s characters attend a Halloween costume party at one

point, and that’s been an enjoyable challenge, he says. “For example, Masha is supposed to be Snow White, but some people don’t recognize her as Snow White, so how do we show that?” he says. The audience never sees the actual costume party, “but deeper and darker truths come out while the characters are wearing Hal-loween costumes.”

Durang has always been known for his pop-culture references, and in a time when that culture changes from Tweet to Tweet, even a play written in this decade presents the options of keeping all references as they are, or updating them, Dunlap points out. But that in itself has its own charm, he says.

Ultimately, he thinks audiences will truly enjoy seeing a comedy “that you want to talk about afterwards. That’s rare. I think it will spark conversation about what was really going on in the play.”

And, of course, it’s just darn funny.note: The CTC wants audience

members to know that this is an adult comedy and contains strong language.

• • • •Vanya and Sonia and Masha and

Spike, opens 8 p.m. Friday, June 12 (opening gala begins at 7 p.m.) and runs through June 28. Circle Stage, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 Riv-er St. Tickets and more information: (423) 267-8534 or theatrecentre.com

GRAND OPENING

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Meet the Harvest team. Sample tasty treats. Give-aways galore. Sale specials.

Meet local vendors, and our resident in-house physician Dr. “Chip” Crump.Visit harvestgrocery.com for grand opening schedule

JUNE12-14WEEKEND


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"Hava Nagila (The Movie)"

thursday6.11 Speaker Series: Small Business Development 8 a.m.the Chattanoogan hotel1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400chattanooganhotel.comThomas & Friends: “Explore the Rails” 10 a.m.Creative Discovery museum321 Chestnut St.(423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgHomeschool Science Club1 p.m.Creative Discovery museum321 Chestnut St.(423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgOoltewah Farmers Market3 p.m.ooltewah nursery & Landscape Co. 5829 main St. (423) 238-9775ooltewahnursery.comArts Build Fundraiser5 p.m.the Flying Squirrel Bar55 Johnson St.(423) 602-5980flyingsquirrelbar.com“Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party”7 p.m.Vaudeville Cafe200 market St.(423) 266-6202funnydinner.com

friday6.12 Harvest Grocery Grand Opening Celebration7 a.m.harvest Grocery5414 hixson Pike(423) 847-0200harvestgrocery.comMoccasin Bend Brewing Tour & Tasting6 p.m.moccasin Bend Brewing Company4015 tennessee ave.(423) 821-6392bandbrewingbeer.com“Hava Nagila (The Movie)”7 p.m.Jewish Cultural Center5461 n. terrace(423) 493-0270jewishchattanooga.com

“Mystery of Flight 138”7 p.m.Vaudeville Cafe200 market St.(423) 266-6202funnydinner.com“Abduction From The Seraglio” 7:30 p.m.Scenic City opera 6231 Lee highwaysceniccityopera.org“RED”7:30 p.m.Barking Legs theater1307 Dodds ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgRoy Haber7:30 p.m.the Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

“Vanya & Sonia & Masha & Spike”8 p.m.Chattanooga theatre Centre400 river St.(423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com

saturday6.13 Tri For The Shelter Sprint Triathlon8 a.m.rocky mountain recreation area 4054 Big texas Valley rd. (706) 802-5087georgiawildlife.com10th Annual National Physique Committee Battle 9 a.m.tivoli theater709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156chattanoogaonstage.comWorld Wide Knit in Public Day9:30 a.m.Downtown Public Library1001 Broad St.(423) 757-5310chattlibrary.orgCoffee with the Artist: Michael McCamish 10 a.m.Studio Space Junk 436 Frazier ave. (423) 531-6066studiospacejunk.comBrainerd Farmers Market10 a.m.Grace Episcopal Church20 Belvoir ave.

Pulse Pick: roy haber

Israeli born, Kentucky raised, Roy's comedy is live, direct and brutally honest, whether it's about his (lack of) height, society or stories about his world travels. Roy Haberthe Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd rd. (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

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(423) 243-3250saygrace.net“A Touch of Elegance” Fashion Show 10 a.m.Chattanooga Convention Center1100 Carter St. (423) 698-0029chattanoogaconvention.orgChattanooga River Market10 a.m.tennessee aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 267-3474chattanoogarivermarket.comGetting Fit For Monet10 a.m.Warehouse row1110 market St.(423) 267-1111warehouserow.comRiverfront Yoga with Maggie White10 a.m.Chattanooga river market1 Broad St.(423) 267-3474chattanoogarivermarket.comTai Chi 11 a.m.Eastgate Public Library5705 marlin rd.(423) 855-2689chattlibrary.orgSummer BBQ Festival11:30 a.m.Burks United methodist Church6429 hixson Pike(423) 842-4219burks.orgVictorian Ice Cream Social 1 p.m.

houston museum of Decorative arts210 high St.(423) 267-7176thehoustonmuseum.orgChildren’s Picture Book Bash!2 p.m.Barnes & noble2100 hamilton Blvd. (423) 893-0186barnesandnoble.com“Abduction From The Seraglio” 7:30 p.m.Scenic City opera Venue6231 Lee highwaysceniccityopera.org“RED”7:30 p.m.Barking Legs theater1307 Dodds ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgRoy Haber7:30 p.m.the Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Vanya & Sonia & Masha & Spike”8 p.m.Chattanooga theatre Centre400 river St.(423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com

sunday6.14 Chattanooga Market: Street Food Festival11 a.m.

First tennessee Pavilion1826 reggie White Blvd.(423) 266-4041chattanoogamarket.com“Abduction From The Seraglio” 3 p.m.Scenic City opera Venue6231 Lee highwaysceniccityopera.orgBBQ & Bluegrass Father’s Day Cruise4:30 p.m.tennessee aquarium1 Broad St.(423) 267-3474tnaqua.org“RED”7:30 p.m.Barking Legs theater1307 Dodds ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgRoy Haber7:30 p.m.the Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

monday6.15 “The Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack”11 a.m.mountain arts Community Center809 Kentucky St.(423) 886-1959signalmacc.orgChattanooga Speaks5:30 p.m.the Camp house

149 E. mLK Blvd. (423) 653-0340thecamphouse.comLeague of Women Voters Meeting: “Sunshine Laws”5:30 p.m.training room, Business Development Center100 Cherokee Blvd.(423) 622-2862One Step at a Time6 p.m.Shepherd Community Center2124 Shepherd rd.(423) 999-7958Street Cycling 1016 p.m.outdoor Chattanooga200 river St.(423) 643-6888outdoorchattanooga.comVintage Swing Dance7 p.m.Clear Spring yoga17 n. market St.(931) 982-1678clearspringyoga.com“RED”7:30 p.m.Barking Legs theater1307 Dodds ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org

tuesday6.16 Science of Superheroes1:30 p.m.E.G. Fisher Library1289 ingleside ave.(423) 745-7782fisherlibrary.orgRenaissance: A Print and

RubyFallsZip.com

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Book arts Exhibit6 p.m.Downtown Public Library1001 Broad St.(423) 757-5310chattlibrary.org“Gangs of New York”7 p.m.majestic 12311 Broad St.(423) 826-2375carmike.comInsider Access to “Inside Out”7 p.m.East ridge 185080 S. terrace (423) 855-9652carmike.comChattanooga F.C. vs. Atlanta Silverbacks Reserves 7:30 p.m.Finley Stadium1826 Carter St.(423) 266-4041chattanoogafc.com

wednesday6.17 Middle East Dance10:30 a.m.Jewish Cultural Center5461 n. terrace(423) 493-0270jewishchattanooga.comChattanooga Market3 p.m.First tennessee Pavilion1826 reggie White Blvd.(423) 266-4041chattanoogamarket.comMain Street

Farmers Market4 p.m.325 E. main St. mainstfarmersmarket.comA Healthier Running Nervous System5:30 p.m.outdoor Chattanooga200 river St.(423) 643-6888outdoorchattanooga.comChattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns7:15 p.m.at&t Field201 Power alley(423) 267-2208milb.com“Drum Corps International” Tour Premiere8:30 p.m.East ridge 185080 South terrace (423) 855-9652carmike.com

ongoing

“Inside/Out”river Gallery400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033river-gallery.com"Still In The Mist"in-town Gallery26a Frazier ave. (423) 267-9214intowngallery.comSpring Season at Blackwell71 Eastgate Loop (423) 344-5643

chattanoogaphoto.org“Eudora Welty and the Segregated South”the hunter museum of american art10 Bluff View ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org“Gajin Fujita” the hunter museum of american art10 Bluff View ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org“Japonisme and America”the hunter museum of american art10 Bluff View ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org“New on View”the hunter museum of american art10 Bluff View ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.orgThe Alice E. and Joseph H. Davenport, Jr. Collectionthe hunter museum of art10 Bluff View(423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org“Spirit Moves: Works by Allyson Mellberg Taylor and Jeremy Taylor”association for Visual arts30 Frazier ave.(423) 265-4282www.avarts.org

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Chattanooga F.C. vs. Atlanta Silverbacks Reserves

Map these locations on chat-tanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]

Come experience the magic and imagination of well-known Atlanta

puppeter Lee Bryan as he presents his own take on the classic fairly tale: “The Giant, The Beanstalk & Jack”

FREE CONCERT

Mountain Arts Community Center • 809 Kentucky Ave, Signal Mountain, TN For more information visit our website at signalmacc.org

Saturday,June 13th @ 7 p.m.

at the MACC

PUPPET SHOW

Tickets are $10 for adults, $5 for students and children (free for children under 3)

Monday, June 15th @ 11 a.m.

IT’S BACK!

musts and mustn’ts:

• Entries must be NO LONGER than 500 words, must never have been published before, and must include a title.

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• Finalists will be published in the July 23rd issue of The Pulse.

short story contestsubmissions due by: Friday, July 10, 2015

send to: [email protected] only


Diversions

Consider Thiswith Dr. Rick

“The most dangerous phrase in the language is, ‘We’ve always done it this way.’” — grace hopper

I’ve never heard this phrase so often as when I moved south of the ma-son-Dixon.

lots of people don’t like change. They find it frightening, as it stirs up all sorts of concerns about having to break from the comfort zone and experi-ence the unfamiliar. even worse, it threatens our sense of control.

That said, “We’ve always done it this way” has a rigidity to it, a stuck-ness, a clipping of vision’s wings. Think about the words, “let’s try some-thing different,” or, “I’m open to that,” or, my favorite, the simple “Why not?” These contain freedom and movement, anticipation and excitement.

Tradition certainly has its place as a graceful, charming, comforting part of our culture. and there are aspects of ourselves that are healthy to con-trol. But when it comes to exploring beyond old boundaries, doing things differently, and having new adventures, I say: Why not?

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.


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Daniel Day-Lewis is one of the most chameleon-like of actors in modern cinema. Every performance is completely unlike the work that came before (or comes after), to the point where he is almost unrecog-nizable in each film.

his oscar-winning role as Bill the Butcher, the centerpiece character in martin Scorcese’s 2002 historical dra-ma “Gangs of new york,” is a gruff, vi-olent, and brutally driven gang lead-er who dominates the screen and all other characters around him, even longtime Scorcese favorite Leonardo DiCaprio (who turns in some of his

best work in this film, as well).the plot is simple: in 1863, in the

mean streets of a young new york, amsterdam Vallon (DiCaprio) re-turns to the gritty Five Points area of Lower manhattan to seek revenge on the man who killed his father. yet what transpires along the way is any-thing but simple.

“Gangs of New York”Tuesday, 7 p.m.Majestic 12311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375carmike.com

✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴ ✴ ✴

Jurassic Worldtwenty-two years after the events of Jurassic Park, isla nublar now features a fully functioning dinosaur theme park, Jurassic World, as originally en-visioned by John hammond.Director: Colin trevorrowStars: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas howard, ty Simpkins, Judy Greer

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl high schooler Greg, who spends most of his time making parodies of classic movies with his best friend, finds his outlook forever altered after a classmate is diagnosed with cancer.Director: alfonso Gomez-rejonStars: thomas mann, rJ Cyler, olivia Cooke, nick offerman

The Dangerous Streets of New YorkDaniel Day-Lewis leads an all-star cast in gritty drama

ScreenraChaEL PoE

Irritated, her suitor asks if he is amusing her, and she replies, ‘it’s only i have a piano. And I have my own farm. And I have no need for a husband.’”

“

IT IS DIFFICULT FOR A WOMAN TO DEFINE HER feelings in a language chiefly made by men to express theirs.”

So declares the bold and independent Bathsheba Everdene (Car-ey Mulligan) in Thomas Vinterberg’s film adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s “Far from the Madding Crowd.”

“

She Will Astonish Them All“Far From the Madding Crowd” is sensitive Hardy adaptation

And Bathsheba isn’t the only one who struggles to articulate her emotions. All of the characters in “Madding Crowd” fail to communicate what they desire—or fail to even know themselves what they desire.

Luckily for the viewer, however, Vin-terberg does not struggle to articulate his vision of Hardy’s literary masterpiece. “Madding Crowd” is a beautifully real-ized film with breathtaking visuals, a subtle but impressive score, and intuitive, honest acting.

The film, however, is a bit gentler than the novel. As one of Hardy’s relatively ear-ly works, “Far from the Madding Crowd” is less bleak than his later work—such as “Tess of the d’Urbervilles” and “Jude the Obscure”—but the novel is still rough around the edges. Vinterburg softens the story a bit, perhaps in order to appeal to a wider audience and keep the runtime un-der two hours, but crucial moments in the story feel somewhat watered down.

Nevertheless, Vinterberg remains true to the spirit of Hardy’s work. In the first chapter of the novel, Hardy writes, “Love is a possible strength in an actual weak-ness,” a sentiment that Vinterberg’s film definitely conveys. It seems that every romantic attraction in “Madding Crowd” is pursued with the expectation that mar-riage—the joining of two flawed individu-als—will somehow mend the problems of those individuals. In reality, however, marriage complicates more than it clari-fies, and both Vinterberg’s film and Har-dy’s novel impart the necessity of honest


communication by revealing the tragic aftermath of dishonesty.

Set in the English countryside in 1870, “Madding Crowd” begins by es-tablishing Bathsheba’s independent spirit and introducing her three roman-tic suitors. First, there is Gabriel Oak (Matthias Schoenaerts), a simple and hardworking sheep farmer who pledges to support and honor Bathsheba. Next is William Boldwood (Michael Sheen), a well-established landowner who offers her comfort and protection. And finally there is Sergeant Frank Troy (Tom Stur-ridge), a young and handsome soldier who promises an exciting life full of passion.

After her uncle’s death, Bathsheba inherits his farm, which has fallen into disrepair. She is determined to restore it to greatness, but not by marrying or hiring a man to take charge of the prop-erty. Bathsheba gathers the farmhands and declares, “From now on, you have a mistress, not a master. It is my intention to astonish you all.”

And astonish Bathsheba certainly does. She begins her first day as a farm-er by firing her uncle’s bailiff, the man who is largely responsible for the farm’s ruin. The bailiff angrily protests that she is just a woman who knows nothing about his business, a man’s business. Af-ter the disgruntled bailiff finally leaves, she carries on her speech to the other farmhands, her voice steady and posture defiant, but with the slightest glimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.

This is but a taste of the depth that Mulligan brings to the character of Bath-sheba. Her performance is layered and sensitive, as it should be, for Bathsheba is a woman fighting to make her way in a man’s world. Mulligan’s incredible

performance is best matched by Sheen’s masterful portrayal of Boldwood, but Schoenaerts and Sturridge also have commendable turns as her other suitors.

After Bathsheba receives one of her first marriage proposals, she smiles a bit when her suitor mentions that he could provide for her, from money and shel-ter to dresses and pianos. Irritated, her suitor asks if he is amusing her, and she replies, “It’s only I have a piano. And I have my own farm. And I have no need for a husband.”

Another suitor declares that Bath-sheba is a beautiful. When she does not reply, he continues, “You must know. There must be some man who calls you beautiful.” Bathsheba remains silent. Mulligan’s sensitive portrayal of Bath-sheba reveals how uncomfortable she is with men’s objectification of her and the idea that a woman needs a man’s opin-ion to know she’s beautiful.

While a wedding often represents a successful conclusion to a story—es-pecially in theatrical convention or a Jane Austen novel—“Madding Crowd” takes as much time exploring courtship as it spends revealing its aftermath. In “Madding Crowd,” Bathsheba’s wed-ding is not the end of the story. Rather, Vinterberg’s film, like Hardy’s novel, explores what happens after the wed-ding bells and what marriage looks like behind closed doors. The viewer, then, is allowed to see what happens after “happily ever after”—and it is usually not so happy.

Vinterberg’s “Madding Crowd” is well worth a watch for those who have read Hardy’s novel and those who have not, for it is a story made timeless by Bathsheba’s resilience and indepen-dence.

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Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of cu-riosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspec-tive to his work. It’s all in the stars.

GeMInI (May 21-June 20): I think it’ll be better if you don’t engage in much sacrifice, compromise, or sur-

render in the next two weeks. Normally they are valuable tools to have at your disposal, but for now they may tend to be counterproductive. Judging from the current astrological omens, I suspect you need to be more commanding than usual, more confident in your vision of how to take action with maxi-mum integrity. It’s time for you to draw deeper from the source of your own power, and express it with extra grace and imagina-tion.

CAnCeR (June 21-July 22): You will soon be es-caping—or maybe “graduating” is the right word—from

your interesting trials and tribu-lations. In honor of this cathartic transition, I suggest you consid-er doing a ritual. It can be a full-fledged ceremony you conduct with somber elegance, or a five-minute psychodrama you carry out with boisterous noncha-lance. It will be a celebration of your ability to outlast the forces of chaos and absurdity, and an expression of gratitude for the resources you’ve managed to call on in the course of your struggle. To add an extra twist, you could improvise a rowdy victory prayer that includes this quote adapted from Nietzsche: “I throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘Here is my thanks to the monster who did not devour me.’”

LeO (July 23-Aug. 22): I propose a Friends Cleanse. It would be a three-week-long process of reviewing your

support team and web of con-nections. If you feel up for the challenge, start this way: Take inventory of your friendships and alliances. If there are any that have faded or deteriorated, make a commitment to either fix them or else phase them out. Here’s the second stage of the Friends Cleanse: Give dynamic boosts to those relationships that are already working well. Take them to the next level of candor and synergy.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Af-ter Walt Whitman published Leaves of Grass in 1855, he

made sure it would get the publicity he wanted. He wrote anonymous reviews

of his own book and submitted them to several publications, all of which printed them. “An American bard at last!” began the glowing review that ap-peared in one newspaper. Ac-cording to my reading of the astrological omens, Virgo, you now have license to engage in similar behavior. You will incur no karma, nor will you tempt fate, if you tout your own as-sets in the coming weeks. Try to make your bragging and self-promotion as charming as pos-sible, of course. But don’t be timid about it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you carry out the assign-ments I recommend, you will boost your charisma, your chutz-

pah, and your creativity. Here’s the first one: Try something impossible every day. Whether or not you actually accomplish it isn’t important. To merely make the effort will shatter illu-sions that are holding you back. Here’s your second assignment: Break every meaningless rule that tempts you to take yourself too seriously. Explore the art of benevolent mischief. Here’s the third: Clear out space in your fine mind by shedding one dog-matic belief, two unprovable theories, and three judgmental opinions. Give yourself the gift of fertile emptiness.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the 16th century, roguish French au-thor Francois Rabe-lais published a com-

ic novel entitled The Life of Gargantua and of Pantagruel. In the course of his satirical story, a learned teacher named Episte-mon takes a visit to the afterlife and back. While on the other side, he finds famous dead he-roes employed in humble tasks. Alexander the Great is making a meager living from mending old socks. Cleopatra is hawk-ing onions in the streets. King Arthur cleans hats and Helen of Troy supervises chambermaids. In accordance with the Rabe-laisian quality of your current astrological aspects, Scorpio, I invite you to meditate on the reversals you would like to see in your own life. What is first that maybe should be last? And

vice versa? What’s enormous that should be small? And vice versa? What’s proud that should be humble? And vice versa?

SAGITTARIuS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There’s no bet-ter time than now to ask the big ques-tion or seek the big

opening or explore the big feeling. People are not only as receptive as they will ever be, they are also more likely to un-derstand what you really mean and what you are trying to ac-complish. Which door has been forever locked? Which poker face hasn’t blinked or flinched in many moons? Which heart of darkness hasn’t shown a crack of light for as long as you can remember? These are frontiers worth revisiting now, when your ability to penetrate the seem-ingly impenetrable is at a peak.

CAPRICORn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The writer Don-ald Barthelme once came to see the art-ist Elaine de Koon-

ing in her New York studio. Midway through the visit, loud crashes and bangs disturbed the ceiling above them. De Koon-ing wasn’t alarmed. “Oh, that’s Herbert thinking,” she said, referring to the metal sculptor Herbert Ferber, who worked in a studio directly above hers. This is the kind of thinking I’d love to see you unleash in the coming days, Capricorn. Now is not a time for mild, cautious, delicate turns of thought, but rather for vigorous meditations, rambunctious speculations, and carefree musings. In your quest for practical insight, be willing to make some noise. (The story comes from Barthelme’s essay “Not-Knowing.”)

AQuARIuS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Sidney Lumet was an American direc-tor who worked on 50 films, including

14 that were nominated for Academy Awards, like Net-work and Dog Day Afternoon. Actors loved to work with him, even though he was a stickler for thorough rehearsals. Intense preparation, he felt, was the key to finding the “magical ac-cidents” that allow an actor’s highest artistry to emerge. I ad-vocate a similar strategy for you, Aquarius. Make yourself ready, through practice and discipline,

to capitalize fully on serendipi-tous opportunities and unex-pected breakthroughs when they arrive.

PISCeS (Feb. 19-March 20): “It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconve-

nient one, too,” said American writer Josh Billings. I agree with him. It’s not impossible to solve the mystery of who you are, but it can be hard work that requires playful honesty, cagey tenacity, and an excellent sense of humor. The good news is that these days it’s far less difficult and inconvenient than usual for you to deepen your self-under-standing. So take advantage! To get started, why don’t you inter-view yourself? Go here to see some questions you could ask: http://bit.ly/interviewyourself.

ARIeS (March 21-April 19): “To look at a thing hard and straight and seriously—to fix it.” Aries author Henry

James said he wanted to do that on a regular basis. He didn’t want to be “arbitrary” or “me-chanical” in his efforts. I invite you to make this perspective one of your specialties in the coming weeks, Aries. Pick out a tweaked situation you’d like to mend or a half-spoiled arrange-ment you want to heal. Then pour your pure intelligence into it. Investigate it with a lumi-nous focus. Use all your tough and tender insight to determine what needs to be transformed, and transform it.

TAuRuS (April 20-May 20): Drug expert Jona-than P. Caulkins es-timates that Ameri-cans are stoned on

marijuana for more than 288 million hours every week. A U.N. report on global drug use concluded that Canadians con-sume weed at a similar rate. Among Europeans, Italians are number one and the French are fourth. But I encourage you to avoid contributing to these fig-ures for the next twelve to four-teen days. In my astrological opinion, it’s time to be as sober and sensible and serious as you ever get. You have the chance to make unprecedented progress on practical matters through the power of your pure reasoning and critical thinking.

Free Will Astrology ROB BREzSNy

“Homework: Name two ways you think that everyone should be more like you. FreeWillAstrology.com


Copyright © 2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0731

ACROSS1 Nullifies11 Basketball hoop part14 Savory bakery appetizers15 Hungarian wine city17 “Tommy” star18 The heart’s location?19 Hard rain20 Straddled22 Service pieces25 Prefix before pod or pub26 Drake’s genre, derisively27 Target for some vacuum attachments28 Henner of “Taxi”30 Figure out31 “Deliverance” piece36 “Save us!”37 Words before well or often38 Lifelong

42 Head-of-the-line boast45 Subway in a Duke Ellington tune46 They chase in chase scenes48 Tony with a Lifetime Achievement Grammy50 Attacked on foot51 Times long gone?52 Upgrade from black-and-white56 Submission tape57 NPR show covering journalism58 “Solaris” author Stanislaw ___59 “Here goes nothing”

DOWN1 Get down without much energy?2 Founder of the American Shakers3 Workday start,

for some4 Phrase of reassurance, to a Brit5 F flat, enharmonically6 Copier option smaller than 29-Down7 Go limp8 Hockey legend Bobby9 Early Coloradans10 Booster phase on some rockets11 Unoriginal idea12 “Whoa, look at the time ...”13 Photo album contents?16 Do the news21 Arm art, for short23 ___-mutuel (type of betting)24 Relating to a certain column27 Out in the open29 Copier option larger than 6-Down

31 Eurasian cousin of the plover32 Password accompaniment33 Airy beginning?34 Like 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, and 1235 Onetime R.J. Reynolds mascot36 Bottom of the ocean39 1996 Gibson/Sinise flick40 Never, to Nietzsche41 Aphid that produces honeydew43 Olivia Newton-John film of 198044 Lamentable47 Slab of meat49 “Beloved” writer Morrison53 Capt. juniors54 “Now I understand!”55 “Automatic for the People” group

Jonesin’ Crossword MATT jONES

“Sweet Freedom”—freestylin’ it.


If you are reading this in the form of a hard copy on the weekend it is published, it may already be too late for me. For you. For us all.

I’m typing this from a bunker below the reassur-ing weight of the Ol-giati Bridge, but the con-crete is be-ing steadily weakened by a steady influx of stale beer, hot Powerade, and fetid urine.

I send my men out after dark to gather supplies, but we are only four days into it and spirits are low. Hanra-han over there is trying to erect a solar sail to generate power for our life support systems, and we pretend to have high hopes for its success…but we all know the unspoken truth: It’s just a fool’s errand to keep doomed hands occupied. Once they find out the fun-nel cake supplies are criti-cally low…God forgive me,

but I just don’t have the guts to tell them, the poor sots.

Because working River-bend is bad enough.

If you are off-site, it’s not too late, you know. It’s

out there, maybe just outside your restaurant’s window, or down the

street (or on your shoes). And if you’re not sure? There are signs.

Look, and you will see people slinging lawn chairs over their shoulders like an occupying army slinging long guns, and instead of belts of ammunition they have bandoliers of airplane liquor bottles hidden all over their persons in hopes of saving a few bucks (when we know good and well that all they’re really doing is converting each illicit ounce of booze into pure domestic violence).

Shirtless people in droves,

covered only by the errant neck or full-sleeve tattoo. A man on crutches wearing black socks. Someone ap-pearing to “get their shine on” or daring to wear a rebel flag T-shirt for this brief “Purge”-like week.

You will see the public spanking of children and observe what are clearly drunken men who are for once not vagrants. And in-evitably, you’ll see someone entering the grounds on the second day determined to get their money’s worth out of those tickets but not their sunscreen, because they’re already sporting what should be sunburns requir-ing hospitalization.

An airplane in the sky tot-ing a large red-lettered mes-sage may distract you from a bleached-blond girl in a fistfight, but rest assured those are all signs, too. And females wearing “Daisy Dukes” shorts and cowboy boots? They will be cov-ering the festival grounds like bison once covered the Great Plains: As far as the eye can see.

There is no rhyme or

reason for what’s happen-ing around us. Just today a woman smashed into three separate police cars parked on a back street because she left a local emergency room with both arms bandaged and injected with some un-identified chemical at the shoulders, then looked posi-tively baffled when it turns out both arms are required to drive (preferably) in this great state, not to mention having a valid driver’s li-cense. And that was off-site.

I can hear them just out-side the blast doors. The “Hey watch this!” cries get-ting increasingly louder, meaning it’s time to check on them, the scent of Krys-tals already heavy in the air…

It’s all about the talent on the stages, folks. They are why you’re here and in turn, you are why we are here, but if push comes to shove, don’t ever leave the bunker. Just listen? I won-der if Hanrahan’s solar sail is going to work. You think?

I gotta get out of here. Damn you, funnel cakes.

Damn you.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not pa-trolling our fair city on the heels of the crimi-nal element, he spends his spare time volun-teering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

Teach’s Journal: Port-a-Potti Down

On The Beat

aLEX tEaCh

Officer Alex’s tales of a certain festival down by the river

“Females wearing ‘Daisy Dukes’ shorts and cowboy boots? They will be covering the festival grounds like bison once covered the Great Plains: As far as the eye can see.”

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the pulse 12.24 » june 11, 2015

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