the pulse 9.30 » july 26-aug. 1, 2012

July 26, 2012

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Vol. 9 • No. 30

struNg like A

HORSE

MusiC blue MAN group: oDD MeN out Arts urbAN DesigN retrospeCtiVe

PLAYoN pArADe p8

2 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

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chaTTanoogaPulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

EDITORIALPublisher Zachary cooperCreative Director Bill RamseyContributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsnychuck crowder • John DeVore • Janis hashematt Jones • chris Kelly • D.e. langleymike mcJunkin • David morton • ernie Paikalex Teach • Richard WinhamCartoonists max cannon • Richard RiceTom TomorrowPhotography Jason Dunn • Josh langInterns hadley James • Katie Johnston Patrick noland • cole Rose

ADVERTISINGAdvertising Director mike BaskinAccount Executive Rick leavell

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335Email [email protected]@chattanoogapulse.comGot a stamp? 1305 carter st. • chattanooga, Tn 37402

ThE FINE PRINT The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is dis-tributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics con-centrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the pub-lishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2012 Brewer media

BREWER MEDIA GROUPPresident Jim Brewer II

HIGHLIGHTSTHE PULSE • July 26-Aug. 1, 2012 • vol. 9 • no. 30

The Kinsey Report• nearing its first anniversary, Track 29 turned conventional concert wisdom on its ear. a profile of its owner, adam Kinsey, reveals the simple reasoning behind the venue’s success. » 18By Richard Winham

CLUB CAPTAINS

Reimagine, React, Repeat• a new exhibit opening July 31 shows off dozens of urban design visions, built and unbuilt, from chattanooga’s urban Design studio, the source of most of the design thinking that has reshaped downtown since 1980. » 23By Rich Bailey

ARTS

Well Strung• With a new EP and video, Strung Like A Horse stages its own circus parade to lead crowds from Nightfall to Rhythm & Brews for an eveningof homegrown garage grass. » 8By Sarah Skates

COVER STORY


if you’ve taken a right off of Manufacturers Road onto Cherokee Bou-levard on the North Shore lately, you’ve undoubtedly noticed what is either a so-lar-powered space ship or an exhibition of the state’s nicest trailer.

The truth is that the contraption is the University of Tennessee’s Living Light house. Living Light served as the state university’s contribution to the 2011 U.S. Department of Energy’s Solar Decathlon, a contest held every two years that chal-lenges teams from all over the world to design, build and operate solar houses that are cost-effective, energy efficient and attractive. Tennessee’s team earned a respectable eighth place in the compe-

tition and since then has been taking the house on a “victory lap” around the state, showing off the capabilities of solar en-ergy for the public, with Chattanooga be-ing the final stop on the tour. The house opened up for walk-throughs on July 21 and is scheduled to stay in town through July 29 before heading back to the home base in Knoxville.

Living Light is a fully functional house that generates all of its power through the overhanging 10.9-kilowatt array that har-nesses enough sunlight to power not only all of the internal appliances, but also has enough juice left over to charge an electric car. Also impressive is the double glass fa-çade system, which allows for the thermal cavity of the house to automatically regu-late temperature and redirect air flow and light depending on the time of day and the season.

And yet with all of these technological advancements, the solar-equipped rect-

angle still visually resembles the mode of housing so familiar to our residents: the oblong aluminum trailer. Originally mod-eled after the Cantilever Barn structures (think a shotgun-style lofted barn on stilts) exclusive to the Appalachia region, once the Living Light design abandoned the foundational posts that characterize the Cantilever Barns the new structure began to take a recognizable shape. All just proving the age-old adage: You can take the trailer out of the energy wast-ing days of the past, but you can’t take the trailer out of Tennessee.

—Cole Rose

TALK OF ThE NOOGChATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FACEBOOK/chaTTanoogaPulsesenD leTTeRs To: [email protected]

THEBOWLSOLAR POWER

‘Light’ house parkedin Chattanooga

apparently the chattanooga futbol Club is good for more than just scoring goals and dominating semi-professional soccer. Two former CFC players have de-veloped a new mobile health app called Nudge designed to help businesses keep their costs down by keeping employees in shape.

Mac Gambill and Phil Beene were teammates at Wofford, later for the CFC and are now in the business together de-veloping the app.

“I wanted to create something that could help address negative eating and exercise cultures within companies and replace them with more active and coop-erative workplaces,” Beene said.

That’s where Nudge comes in. It func-tions as a record-keeping program where participants can enter in their exercise activities and food intake on their com-puters or mobile devices throughout the day as a part of a health encouragement competition. The system then applies it to a group effort and everyone can track his or her contributions and the boss can reward the team with the best results. So in the end, employees get slimmer and the company saves money through lower health insurance claims and fewer sick days.

The Nudge team is keeping it local for now, with an office based in Chattanoo-

TEChNOLOGY

Former CFC players give health a Nudge


Madness. That’s the word people are searching for when they are trying to explain, compartmen-talize and quantify tragic events so that we can bet-ter wrap our heads around them. Just as our eye is drawn to a crooked pic-ture on a wall or a seatbelt hanging outside a moving car door, we instinctively know when something is out of place, and we just as instinctively want to fix it. And when we can’t? It can eat at us. Frustrate us. And depending on your proximity to the event in question, it can wear our minds to a nub.

The simple expres-sion of basic truth in that opening quote is some-thing that we, as a society, prefer to avoid (and there-fore why it immediately stuck in my mind). Some of you who have had their sanity tested—really test-ed—know exactly what I mean when you read that line. It is just that simple. Many of us are just a good solid (or not so solid) push away from turning into Roger Rabbit.

Thirteen years ago at Columbine High School we wanted to know the same thing: Why? Where were their parents? Was it the music they listened to?

Sept. 11, 2001—2,985 lives lost. Why? We can’t blame the religion the perpetrators said com-pelled them to do this or people will think we are rude, so was it something we did to inspire this?

Hurricane Katrina,

Aug. 23, 2005—1,836 lives lost. Tens of thou-sands were displaced, wandering on foot across Louisiana and Missis-sippi, and so desperate for the “why?” Some actually blamed then-President Bush for not signing the Kyoto Accords, which clearly would have fixed the world’s climate and therefore prevented that hurricane from occur-ring.

People need to fill in the holes, to put things in a safe place so that they don’t have to live in per-petual fear of the reality that this kind of shit re-ally happens some time, and we can’t do anything about it. That’s why we were glued to Fox News and CNN for 50 consecu-tive hours after the planes hit the WTC so long ago: Why? How? Disbelief.

You can put your purse in the trunk of your car in the mall parking lot at Christmas time. You can install floodlights around your homes and get a large dog to decrease the odds of burglary. But you can’t legislate the James Holmeses of the world, and it scares the hell out of us.

Will a new gun-law be enacted somewhere as a

result of this shooting? Yup. But what gun detrac-tors inexplicably fail to re-alize is that peoples such as Holmes, when prepar-ing to break the law, gen-erally don’t care about the law. Crazy concept, right? We’re screening 80-year-old ladies and 6-year-old kids for guns boarding airplanes these days and making it harder to get guns in the hands of law abiding citizens that could STOP people like Holmes while they go about their rude, non-law abiding ac-tivities. But it makes us feel better … it makes us feel accomplished, even if it equates to trying to cure alcoholism with liquor.

But like the bumper sticker says: “Shit hap-pens.” There isn’t always an explanation, a reason or justification. All you can do is be prepared for it, no matter how unlikely it may seem. There doesn’t have to be a “why”—only a response. Mine will be with a Springfield XD Sub-Compact .40 and a racing but determined heart.

Afterwards? Well if there was an explanation, it wouldn’t very well be called “madness”, would it? No need for legisla-tion. Just preparedness. At least that’s how I keep sleeping well.

Be PreparedOn the Beat ALEx TEACh

Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of near-ly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alex.teach.

“you see, madness, as you know, is like gravity: all it takes … is a little push.” —The Joker from “The Dark Knight” (2008)

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ga and another in Richmond, Va. Aaron Hoffman, who founded Tubatomic Stui-dos and now serves as marketing and sales director for Nudge, said he expects the app to be available nationwide next year.

“The mobile app is currently in use at Cary Street Partners in several southeast locations, and has proven to be easy to use, fun and engaging, and is producing some excellent results,” Hoffman said.

—Cole Rose

there are few things a glass of beer does not improve upon—and the list of those things for which it is not normally associated with deserves to be revised. Take opera, for instance. When most think of opera, they imagine gilded concert halls filled with stuffy patrons. If they imbibe at all, it’s likely a cocktail or glass of wine be-fore or after the performance. Buddy Shirk wants to change that.

Shirk is the manager of Summitt Pianos and the creative force behind a number of unstuffy events at the instrument store. His latest? Hops & Opera, the fifth ver-sion of which offers both free opera and free beer at 8 p.m. on Saturday, July 28, at the store, located at 6209 Lee Hwy. “Free opera, free beer,” Shirk says, “What’s not to like?”

Indeed, if you (like us) are opera-pho-bic, this casual event (and the addition of beer) could ease your fear. Shirk and the Summitt crew have teamed with Big River Grille to bring international so-prano Stella Zambalis to perform (who has performed in Chattanooga several times), along with local sopranos Vanessa Niblack-Kimbrough, Sara Snider Schone and pianist Jason DuRoy. Guest artists in-clude soprano Luisa Rodriguez of Boulder, Colo., soprano Sara Peeples and baritone Joseph Ryan of Sarasota, Fla. The singers will draw from opera classics from com-posers such as Bellini, Strauss and Puc-ciini as well as the music of Mozart and Mendelssohn.

“If you’ve never heard an operatic voice live—and only 15 feet away,” Shirk says, “Stella’s is the one to start with.”

The free concert is open to the public, but seating is limited and an RSVP is re-quired to reserve your chair (and beer). Doors open at 7:30 p.m. and Shirk prom-ises two Big River kegs will flow freely as long as they last. To RSVP, contact Shirk at Summitt Pianos at (423) 499-0600.

—Bill Ramsey

hOPERA

Stella, sopranos and suds at Summitt


End of an Era at Bax & Velvet’s Warehouse

By Cole Rose

“it’s the end of personal era,” bax and velvet walker tell me, as we sit in the middle of “The Warehouse,” the Red Bank home turned theme party house. There are human-sized Alvin and the Chipmunk figurines to our right and a fully decorated and functional soda fountain in an annex to the left. There is a giant, old-school movie marquee over a stage and a functioning barbershop. Every inch of the 25-foot ceilings are covered with old Texaco signs, Coca-Cola advertisements and other decorative signage dominating the wall space. For an immediate visual con-text, it looks like something that Cracker Barrel’s interior decora-tors fantasize about. It’s a collection of Americana ranging from cowboys to Indian motorcycles and pretty much everything in between, and for the past few decades, The Warehouse collection of odds and ends off of Dayton Boulevard has served as Bax and Velvet Walker’s home.

“Years ago, we were gonna build a house, but we figured if we did that, we’d have to build a whole warehouse to hold every-thing that we have,” Bax said

So that’s what they did. And now I’m sitting in the middle of a lifetime of collecting hanging on walls and sitting in boxes and

everything about it seems very unique to me. Bax sees it differ-ently, “The most unique thing about Velvet and I is simple—when we get something in our head, we just do it.”

And that’s how the parties started. About 14 years ago, a friend put the idea into their heads that they should start en-tertaining and share their collec-tion with other people. Bax and Velvet built a stage in their home and put it under their home-made illuminated marquee and Bax became the emcee. Then

»P11

Walk of Life

Bax Walker, left, and Pulse reporter Cole Rose talk at The Warehouse, Walker’s home turned themed party house. Walker and his wife, Velvet, are selling off their huge col-lection of memorabilia.

A huge, private collection of

Americana memorabilia goes

on sale in Red Bank as owners close the

themed party club that is also their

home.

Photos • Josh Lang


By Chris Kelly

for many, animals are an integral part of our world, providing companionship and even health benefits for those that let them into our lives. The presence of a pet can re-duce blood pressure, allevi-ate depression and certainly ease despair and loneliness. But when animals get sick, they have no voice to tell us. And unlike humans, animals cannot choose between tradi-tional medicine and alterna-tive care, such as natural heal-ing and acupuncture. That’s where Dr. Colleen Smith’s new Southside clinic enters the picture.

“The response has been overwhelmingly positive,” Smith says. “Many new cli-ents are saying they have been looking for a holistic vet for years, and knew I was on Signal Mountain but couldn’t make the drive.”

Smith’s Chattanooga Ho-listic Animal Institute had its soft opening in May, following with an official opening on June 22. Inside, the new clin-ic’s pet massage therapy room, and well-stocked shelves of homeopathic pet foods clearly indicate an alternative ap-proach to veterinary medi-cine.

The clinic offers veterinary acupuncture, chiropractic, nutrition therapy, laser ther-apy, green grooming, awake dental procedures, digital X-ray, vaccinations and vac-cine titers, general medicine, canine massage therapy and nutritional supplements.

“Most of our appointments right now are for acupunc-ture, chiropractic and nutri-tion consultations,” Smith says.

While some may view the practice as unorthodox, Smith

says the effectiveness of these treatments is sometimes ap-parent quickly.

“We had a sweet Schnauzer that couldn’t walk on her hind legs,” she says. “She had been treated with many medica-tions, and even had a MRI to figure out what was wrong with her. After a few treat-ments with acupuncture and chiropractic therapy, she was not only walking, but run-ning short distances down the owner’s driveway.”

Holistic veterinary medi-cine is the art and science of

healing that addresses care of the whole animal—body, mind, and spirit—very much the same approach taken with humans.

“The practice of holistic vet-erinary medicine integrates conventional and complemen-tary therapies to promote op-timal health, and prevent and treat disease by addressing contributing factors,” Smith explains. “Each animal is seen as a unique individual, rather than an example of a particu-lar disease.

“Disease is understood to be the result of physical, emo-tional, social and environ-mental imbalance. Healing, therefore, takes place natu-rally when these aspects of life

are brought into proper bal-ance.”

Growing up in Virginia, Smith wanted to be a doctor. Earning an undergraduate degree in biology at Virginia Tech, she worked for 10 years as an environmental chem-ist testing soil and water before deciding to go veteri-nary school. Attending Ross University on the Caribbean island of St. Kitts (where she and other students braved ail-ments such as Dengue Fever), she completed her coursework and, after her clinical studies at Auburn, earned her veteri-nary medicine degree.

It was Atlanta after that. There Smith began to learn about holistic veterinary med-icine and acupuncture at the Loving Touch Animal Cen-ter. She’s been a veterinarian now for eight years and also teaches veterinary acupunc-ture therapy.

The natural, chiropractic and acupuncture treatments offered at the clinic work for dogs, cats and horses and can treat a variety of symp-toms and sicknesses. Smith and her team also offer laser therapy, Chinese herbal medi-cines, massage therapy and dietary treatments.

It is often said that holistic medicine is not as harsh as western medicines and very few side effects occur—in hu-mans or animals—but it may not be for everyone.

“If you are happy with your pet and its veterinary care, that’s great,” Smith says. “But if you are not, or you want an-other alternative, it will never hurt to come in try the holistic approach.”

The clinic is located at 918 E. Main. For more informa-tion, visit its website at chat-tanoogaholisticvet.com or call (423) 531-8899.

Vet Offers Holistic Approach

Dr. Colleen Smith and patient at Chattanooga Holistic Animal Institute on Main Street.


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rom floor-shaking shows at JJ’s Bo-hemia to imagina-tive music videos, popular Chat-tanooga band Strung Like A Horse goes all in

on every endeavor. On Aug. 3 fans can expect the group’s biggest spectacle yet when the band headlines the Nightfall concert series, then leads a parade down Market Street to cap the night with an EP-release show at Rhythm & Brews.

“We’ve got a troupe of belly dancers and people eating fire,” explains lead singer and guitarist Clay Maselle excit-edly. “Street performers TomFoolery and MaxZine will be riding six-foot-tall unicycles and juggling knives. We’ve lined up stilt walkers with bullhorns and marching drums. Plus, we bought 200 kazoos to pass out to the crowd. It’s going to be a full blown circus.”

City officials have agreed to close Market Street for the Strut Like A Horse parade and police officers will be direct-ing traffic at the red lights.

Only a year ago, the band was pleased to secure a coveted opening slot on the Nightfall lineup. This year, Strung Like A Horse won the McKay’s Road to Nightfall competition and will head-line, with support from Jordan Hal-lquist & The Outfit. Following Nightfall at Miller Plaza, the parade will march to Rhythm & Brews for the release party featuring guests Another Roadside At-traction.

With influences ranging from blues to bluegrass, it’s hard to pin down the sound that comes together when Ma-selle takes the stage with banjo player Ben Crawford, bassist BJ Hightower, Mark the Fiddler and percussionist/

drummer Sloth. “Everybody wants to know what kind

of music we are playing, and it’s kind of hard to describe, except to say it’s Strung Like A Horse Music. It’s our music,” Ma-selle muses as he watches the rain from his front porch in North Chattanooga during a recent interview. “Some people have coined it ‘garage grass,’ which fits really well because it is bluegrass in-struments, but we’re like a garage band because the sound is a little trashy and

dirty. And other people say our music is like metal with bluegrass instrumenta-tion.”

Maselle notes that the new EP’s title track, “Glad,” zooms into metal territo-ry, clocking in at 185 beats per minute. It is Maselle’s favorite track on the project, recorded with producer Charles Allison at Spanner Sound studio. Allison also helmed the group’s full-length debut, Live at Lindsey Street, recorded inside the former church near MLK.

Elsewhere, the new five-song set in-cludes fan favorites “Byrd Dog” and “Gypsy Jane.” The video for “Gypsy Jane” will get a big-screen premiere at the Aug. 3 Rhythm & Brews concert. New York based director Tomas Dono-so, who worked on the “Byrd Dog” video, returned to Chattanooga for the 12-day shoot.

“For the ‘Gypsy Jane’ video, we put to-gether a story board, including a twist at the end,” says Maselle. “We used lots of different locations and did the whole thing with one camera and two lights, which is really hard. Lacy Dickerson from Zanzibar studio does belly danc-ing in the video and plays a heartbreaker who leaves her fiancé to run off with my character. Then her fiancé transforms into a horse-man beast and chases us.”

Enthusiastic fan response inspires the band to keep the new music and videos coming.

“We have the absolute best fans on earth,” continues Maselle, adding that another video will be shot in Septem-ber. “Our fans always show up, and any-time we want people to interact or be involved they are gung-ho about it. We love it. We’re putting out material as fast as we can make it because everybody has been accepting it so well. It started with the ‘Byrd Dog’ video, which scored 1,000 unique views in the first 24 hours. We were blown away, and from then on the response has been so good that it keeps us going. It keeps me motivated.”

Though Maselle is a longtime musi-cian, Strung Like A Horse is his first band. He traded his mandolin for a guitar when the group formed about two years ago. Maselle and Crawford, the only other original member, bonded

»P10

WELLSTRUNG

With a new EP and video,

Strung Like A Horse stages its own circus parade to lead crowds from Nightfall to Rhythm & Brews for a nightof homegrown garage grass.

BY SARAH SKATES

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Strung Like A Horse in a clip from their new video, “Gypsy Jane.”


over a shared love of the band Split Lip Rayfield, which naturally turned out to be a major influence in their collabora-tion.

Originally formed with a focus on bluegrass and old-time music, the band’s sound has evolved significantly since the beginning.

“We decided to take a different angle because when I started writing songs everything came out darker than all that old country,” explains Maselle. “So we started turning toward punk rock sounding stuff. Ben developed his own banjo picking style—he does the three-finger style, but not traditional rolls—and it worked really well. Today, the songs come from all different places. BJ wrote ‘Gypsy Jane’ a while back, and we decided to put it on the new EP. And Ben is really good at coming up with banjo parts that we like and then we de-velop a song around that.”

As for Maselle’s lyrics, he says song-writer John Hartford is his single big-gest influence.

“Even though most of the songs seem

to be dark and have death in them, I’m not a dark person,” he assures. “Maybe it has something to do with growing up in Mississippi and listening to the blues a lot.”

The Flowood, Miss. native settled in Chattanooga after a post-college road trip which included the Scenic City as the final stop.

Strung Like A Horse’s current lineup of members came together about a year ago. Since then the guys have scored some major gigs, including a slot at Bonnaroo 2012, where Fuse TV saluted them as “Best Band Name at Bonna-roo.” In February, they opened for blue-grass stalwart Sam Bush at Track 29,

and in hindsight Maselle laughs about accidentally introducing him as “Sam Like A Bush.” Strung Like A Horse also played in Atlanta at the wrap parties for the major motion pictures “American Reunion” and “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” After concluding a recent east coast run, the band is booked in coming months for west coast dates including Texas and Colorado.

The band’s high-energy performanc-es have contributed mightily to its growing popularity, according to Ma-selle.

“Our shows have more head bang-ing and jumping up and down than you would normally see at a punk show,” he

says. “I think a lot of people come to our shows just to see BJ because he is such an eccentric character onstage. He will ride his bass, hang it from the rafters, or play upside down. He is a madman when it comes to upright bass.”

Maselle also attributes Strung Like A Horse’s success to community support, and thanks Chattanooga Presents and McKay’s for giving a local band the op-portunity to headline Nightfall.

“In the four years since I moved here the music scene has grown and grown,” says Maselle. “I don’t even think it’s that there are a lot more musicians involved, but all these people who go see live mu-sic are more motivated to go see it now. It’s like everybody is finding out about this music scene that has probably been here for a long time, and word spread so well that everybody is getting involved and it’s getting bigger. I really think that someone can make it in music from here. It’s like being a big fish in a little sea—here you can build it and people are paying attention. You don’t have to be famous for people to listen.”

“Some people have coined it ‘garage grass,’ which fits really well because it is bluegrass

instruments, but we’re like a garage band because the sound is a little trashy and dirty.”

—Clay Maselle

h

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they bolted the cab of an old yellow Inter-national semi to the wall and replaced the dashboard with sound and light controls and Velvet became the show’s producer.

“You know some places around town, you pay them $700 or $800 dollars to throw a party and what do you get? An empty room. Maybe some tables and chairs, but an empty room,” Bax said. “We had an experience here that people re-ally, really enjoyed. We set it up, we had the Elvis costumes and the music, but the entertainment always came from the crowd.”

They hooked up five TVs to display ka-raoke lyrics and always recruited at least one Elvis and few Soggy Bottom Boys, who you could swear had been sitting right next to you in the audience.

For the past decade and a half, the Walkers have thrown more than 600 par-ties in The Warehouse so they could show people a good time and share their col-lection. According to Velvet, they “never advertised. Not in the newspapers, or ads or even listed it in the phonebook.” The business grew strictly by word of mouth.

A natural storyteller and performer, it’s not hard to imagine Bax up there on stage with the multi-colored lights shin-ing, microphone in hand, beckoning to the crowd and calling people up with him underneath his framed “Casablanca” movie posters and autographed guitars. But as I sit and talk to Bax, Velvet glides around the warehouse cleaning and sort-ing (and occasionally correcting the de-

tails of Bax’s stories) as the two get ready for the next stage of their life.

I could have imagined a rare hesitation in his answer when I asked if he was go-ing to miss the parties, not to mention the collection. “No,” he said as he gazed up at the Hollywood sign next to the marquee. “No big deal. It’s just another page in our life. We just move from one happy thing to another one.”

So far they’ve had one auction where they put up only their musical instru-ments for sale, many of which were auto-graphed. They sold more than 200. The Warehouse is still packed to the brim. When I asked Bax what he thought all this stuff was worth he simply shook his head. “It doesn’t matter” he said, “They gave me a spreadsheet for all the instru-ments we sold, but it doesn’t really matter. That’s not what we’re all about. We never bought one piece of this collection think-ing about what we could get for it.”

They’re going to keep all the old pho-tographs and the “cowboy stuff” (Bax’s favorite) but other than that, everything must go. “Someone informed me I was in the autumn of my life so if we wanted to travel, we better get on it,” he said. “So we’re gonna get on it.”

And that’s the thing about Bax and Velvet, when they get something in their heads, they do it.

To view more of the Walker’s collection, see this story online at chattanoogapulse.com.

Bax Walker displays an autographed photo of Johnny Cash, one of many pieces of memorabilia he and his wife, Velvet have collected over the years and are now selling.


ONE NIGHT ONLY!

THE INDIGO GIRLSOO

with the Chattanooga Symphony

SATURDAY • JULY 28 • 8PMtiVoLi theatRe

TickeTs sTarT aT $35 available at www.chattanoogasymphony.org

or 423.267.8583


MUSIC

The Bohannons • The Bohannons take the R&B stage with a new album that is sure to please.10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 market st. rhythm-brews.com

EVENT

Blue Man Group • A visual spectacle of extraordinary theatrical and musical entertainment.8 p.m. • memorial auditorium399 mccallie ave. • (423) 757-5156chattanoogaonstage.com

THU07.26

FRI07.27

SAT07.28

»Pulse PICKS

THELISTjuLy 26-AuG. 1CALENDAR

»Pulse PICK OF ThE LITTER

NIGhTFALLVAN hUNTWITh RIcK RushIng& The Blues sTRangeRs• Hunt is a distinctive and original tal-ent who melds of R&B, neo-soul, funk, pop, and rock ‘n’ roll. Rushing is the perfect opening act.

FRI 07.27 • 7 p.m. miller PlazaDowntown chattanooganightfallchattanooga.com

Join the hunter museum’s avant-art group on Wednes-

day, aug. 1, for the southside studio stroll, a gallery and studio tour followed by dinner at el mercado, chattanooga’s new pop-up restaurant. The tour makes its way from the Front gallery to chenoweth- halligan studio and haskel-sears Design studio. Wine, beer and light hors d’oeuvres will be served during the gallery tour.

Following the stroll,

head over to el mercado, a pop-up restaurant in the loose cannon gallery, to experience its brand of latin cuisine. There will be a group reservation for dinner and the restaurant is BYoB.

avant-art is a hunter museum membership interest group made up of young-minded contem-poraries who bridge chat-tanooga’s vibrant art and social scenes and make the arts accessible to the community through a lively mix of social events.

members of enjoy access to hunter events, gallery walks, members-only parties and other events throughout the year.

Avant-art Southside Studio Stroll6 p.m.: studio tour7:30 p.m.: Dinner at el mercadoWednesday, aug. 1Tour: $5 for members, $7 for non-members (dinner not included)Reservations: (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org

Avant-art Southside Studio Stroll

MUSIC

Dave Walters Trio• One of Chattanooga’s brightest jazz ensembles. 8:30 p.m. • The Foundry The chattanoogan hotel • 1201 Broad st. (423) 756-3400 • chattanooganhotel.com

EVENT

Southside Art Stroll• Stroll galleries and listen to new-grass music from Thenderfin.6 p.m. • mean mug • 114 W. main st. (423) 825-4206212• market.com

MUSIC

Cutthroat Shamrock • Cutting-edge Irish punk. 8 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia231 e. mlK Blvd. • (423) 266-1400

EVENT

Gary Conrad: Master hypnotist • Nationally known hypnotist and comedian.5:30 & 8 p.m. • The comedy catch3224 Brainerd Road • (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

home game

SCHEDULE

Wed, July 25 • 11:15 PMvs. Birmingham BaronsThu, July 26 • 7:15 PM

vs. BaronsFri, July 27 • 7:15 PM

vs. BaronsSat, July 28 • 7:15 PM

vs. BaronsFri, Aug 3 • 7:15 PM

vs. Braves

Health Night

Fireworks!

Breakin’ B’Boy McCoy

Fireworks!

The chat-tanooga-based

music blog The south Rail has partnered with Track 29 for a series of shows that brings together a va-riety of sounds that have been curated by The south Rail’s intelligent and thorough knowledge the current live-music landscape.

From locals eight Knives to the collab-orative group Fly golden eagle (pictured), who will take the stage with new material from their

latest release swagger, this showcase has the diversity and promise of exposing its audience to something new. each of the bands have interest-ing pedigree, with mem-bers producing equally interesting material from

psych-rock to roots-rock. This showcase is a promising start to the collaborative series.

The South Rail Presents: Fly Golden Eagle, Banditos, Clear Plastic Masks and

Eight Knives8 p.m.Friday, July 27Track 291400 market st.(423) 558-0029track29.co

South Rail Showcase


Come on over, delicious is just around the corner

Friday Pasta on special every weekend

1/2 price bottles of wine every Wednesday and Sunday this summer

423 Market Street (423) 779-3100 tazikiscafe.com

Books. Lots of books. And more.We buy, sell and trade.

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.comMonday-Saturday 9am-10pm • Sunday 11am-7pm

the washington, d.c.-area quartet black tambourine has already proved everything it needed to prove, and it did so by releasing just a handful of tracks back in the early ’90s, mainly on two seven-inch singles. The group—Slumberland Records

co-founder Mike Schulman, Velocity Girl members Archie Moore and Brian Nelson, and Chickfactor indie-pop zine co-founder Pam Berry—had a keenly defined aesthetic in line with The Jesus and Mary Chain’s Psychocandy, marrying ’60s-influenced pop with intense, overwhelming sheets of noisy, distortion-drenched guitar chords, booming drumbeats and cymbal crashes on a stripped-down kit, and upper-register bass notes played compellingly, going beyond just mirroring chords changes. Although small, the band’s catalog is nearly perfect, first compiled on the 10-song, 1999 re-lease Complete Recordings. After reuniting in 2009, the members released the outstanding collection Black Tambourine, appending two demo tracks and four new songs, including spirited covers of Buddy Holly’s “Heartbeat” and Suicide’s “Dream Baby Dream.” With nothing left to prove, Black Tambourine presents what might

seem like a trifle: a four-song EP, available as two seven-inch singles or a digital down-load, consisting entirely of Ramones covers, entitled OneTwoThreeFour.

“I Want You Around” uses the classic, overdriven Black Tambourine sound with channeled chaos within a pop structure, and halfway through, some ’60s pop influ-ences—The Byrds and Love come to mind—feature in a guitar interlude. On “What’s Your Game,” Berry’s sweet vocals are enhanced by backing singers “The ’Rinettes,” consisting of Rose Melberg (of Tiger Trap and the Softies), underrated four-track home taper Linda Smith, Dee Dee (of Dum Dum Girls), and Honeymoon Diary’s Jenny Rob-bins. “I Remember You” is a stomper, with an alternating regular/irregular drumming urgency, and “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” is the EP’s most reserved track, with an underlying tension, featuring a complicated tenderness and chimpy, gliding electronic notes from a Stylophone. On OneTwoThreeFour, the band throws itself at the project with complete enthusiasm, and the result is pure, unadulterated, noisy joy.

more than 20 years ago, the british dance-pop band saint etienne sang songs like “Nothing Can Stop Us” with a youthful invulnerability on its debut album, Fox-base Alpha, before growing up and contemplating domesticity on the 2005 album,

Tales from Turnpike House, mentioning “old 45s gathering dust” in “Teenage Winter.” Seven years after its predecessor, the new prop-er full-length album Words And Music finds the band even more nostalgic, expounding on its lifetime love affair with music. On the opening track “Over the Border,” with a combination of spoken and sung words, lead vocalist Sarah Cracknell discusses mixtape love tokens, music magazines, record labels and meaningful bonding; growing older, she ponders, “When I was married, when I had kids, would Marc Bolan still be so important?”

Pleasure can take the form of either real-time experiences or memories, and although there’s a fair amount of synthy, dance-ori-ented tracks here, wistful reflection rather than action is inspired

in its nostalgia, not bending toward trends (with the exception of a few Autotune vo-cals effects); rather, it stays true to the dance-pop style the group helped to shape, even evoking previous songs like “Sylvie” on “Heading for the Fair,” with its driving piano syncopation and spirit. While the tracks seem sturdy and melodic enough, a spark of ex-citement doesn’t present itself as much as it should, and the album feels like an epilogue rather than a climax. “Haunted Jukebox,” one of the better numbers, closes the album with a pert delivery that belies its melancholy, even tormented ruminations, inspired again by “fine 45s you found.” It’s a Saint Etienne that seems content to stay at home and listen to records instead of hitting the clubs with youthful abandon, and with this new album, a search for meaning overshadows the search for enjoyment. With Words And Music, changes are brought to the surface—not particularly with Saint Etienne, but within the listener.

Between the SleevesRECORD REVIEWS • ERNIE PAIK

Black TambourineoneTwoThree-Four(slumberland)

Saint EtienneWords and music(heavenly)

Read more of Ernie Paik’s reviews online at chattanoogapulse.com.


RIChARD WINhAM

The three players—it’s al-ways been three to allow for an odd man out within the group— are Laurel and Hardy as a trio. Two take turns play-ing Hardy to the third man’s hapless Laurel—out of synch and a beat behind. Not a word is spoken throughout the show; there’s no need. Their body language, eyes—magni-fied on a massive video back-drop—and synth-driven per-cussion fill in the details.

Standing in front of a huge percussion-triggered syn-thesizer, the three principals spend much of the show ham-mering out three-part tattoos, backed by a four-piece band behind the curtain. Their objective is to puncture the pomp and pretension of an arena rock show, but like all parodists they’re always in danger of becoming what they set out to lampoon. Yet judg-ing from the innumerable You Tube excerpts of their shows (including the current one which is, according to Blue Man Kirk Massey, almost 50 percent new material) their anonymity has freed them from temptations such as self-indulgent rock-star-style pos-turing even as much of their show sets the stage for it.

The essential conceit of the show is that each member of the Smurf-skinned trio is an impressionable alien looking for a way to fit in. Each one is

Everyman perplexed by the dizzying pace of technologi-cally driven change. In their current show, the three face an enormous touch screen. Like exploring children they enter the screen, but before they do one Blue Man’s eyes are projected onto the back-drop watching and reacting to his colleague’s confusion. It’s one example of how often they blur the line between watcher and watched, audience and players, throughout the show.

“The Blue Men shows don’t have the traditional fourth wall,” said Massey. “They’re trying to connect with the au-dience that’s there that night.”

By not uttering a word

they’re able to project their reactions without having to explain them. Their reactions are almost always mystifica-tion. According to Massey, the Blue Men behave as we all do when confronted with a cul-ture and language we don’t understand. For them, he said, “It’s exploring how dif-ferent cultures communicate with each other.”

From its inception in New York City in the 1990s, the show’s central thesis has been alienation stemming from in-formation overload. But rath-er than feeling over-informed, most Americans now—like the hapless third Blue Man—

feel left out of the loop with-out information (literally) at their fingertips. In the current show, the Blue Man Group’s attitude toward technology has changed. They are no lon-ger outside the technology looking in, but are inside giant “gi-pads” looking out.

Although that subtext re-mains in the script it is, as more than one critic has com-plained, largely subsumed within the aural and visual slapstick of the performance. The three actors expend enor-mous energy in the 90 min-utes they’re on stage. There’s no intermission, the audience has little time to think; they can only react to the seamless

concatenation of Vaudeville-style visual gags paced by the racing percussion-driven rock and dance music.

However, at some point in the show a member of the audience is invited onto the stage as a foil for the fun-lov-ing trio. As an emissary from the “real” world, they must feel something akin to Margaret Dumont’s perplexed reactions to Groucho, Chico and Harpo in all those films in which she played their unfortunate foil. But their audience is too so-phisticated to be gulled into representing the stilted world of rational adults—and so it’s often the Blue Men who are the victims. The show is timed and tightened to the second, but when one opens the door and lets in the outside world their tightly scripted world collapses.

“Once you dive into that you really have no idea what these people are going to do, so you end up making it up as you go from that point,” said Kirk.

The show is a mash-up of relentless percussive energy of “Stomp” and Gallagher’s messy slapstick schtick with an overlay of weird science. The antic energy and laugh out loud silliness of Blue Man Group plays well with the kid in every one of us.

Blue Man Group8 p.m.Thursday, July 26memorial auditorium399 mccallie ave.(423) 757-5156chattanoogaonstage.com

Blue Man Group: Odd Men Outdescribed as “a combination of theatre, vaude-ville, rock concert, science, technology and crazy multi-media dance concert all wrapped up together,” Blue Man Group is headed for the Memorial Auditorium on Thursday (July 26). The show, featuring three blue-hued child-men, has gained an international reputation for its techno-driven visual, physical and aural assault. (Ear plugs, as well as protective rain gear for those in the first few rows, are provided.)

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chat-tanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

Party on Two Floors! 1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi BarRestaurant & Nightclub

409 Market Street •423.756.1919

LIVE DJ

Wii on the Big Screen

Mon & tue

Jonathan Wimpee Jam Sessionwednesdays

LOCAL LEGENDS

HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS

thursdays

WEEKEND PARTY ZONE!

FRI

sat

LIVE MUSIC WITH

STOKESWOOD$1 BEER 10-11PM

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Club Captains SECOND IN A SERIES

But when Chattanooga music fans are given the op-portunity to see someone they really care about, watch out. In the past few months four shows have sold out at Track 29 within seconds. Within 29 seconds all of the tickets for Jack White’s first headlin-ing show scheduled in March were taken. Shows featuring Jars Of Clay, Need To Breathe and the Avett Brothers sold out just as fast.

Before Adam Kinsey and Josh McManus opened Track 29, Chattanooga didn’t have a hall suitable for any of those acts. The Tivoli Theatre can hold about the same number of people as Track 29; the Me-morial Auditorium seats con-siderably more. But, as Kinsey sees it, fans of the Avett Broth-ers and Jack White don’t want to sit and clap politely at the end of each song. They want to dance and drink a beer.

“All of our shows have been extremely energetic,” he says. “We always hear from bands and the tour managers that it’s one of the best crowds

they’ve had in years.”When McManus and Kin-

sey conceived Track 29, they were thinking in terms of a big club; a place that could hold 1,000 people comfort-ably. Any less and the major-ity of the bands they are now booking would have contin-ued to look elsewhere. They looked at 14 different loca-tions before settling on the

By Richard Winham

why did chattanooga have to wait so long for Track 29? The much-vaunted venue in the former ice skating rink behind the Choo Choo finally opened for its first show in September 2011. Conventional wisdom had long held that Chattanooga music fans take their own sweet time to buy tickets, a proclivity giving already antsy promoters palpitations whenever they brought an act to town.

The Kinsey Report

Fans of the Avett Brothers and Jack White don’t want to sit and clap politely at the end of each song. They want to dance and drink a beer. Adam Kinsey obliged with Track 29, his venue in the former skating rink at the Choo Choo.

The Club• club captains is an occasional series that highlights the people behind chattanooga’s live music scene.

Adam and Monica Kinsey photographed at Track 29 by Jason Dunn.


Blacksmith’sBistro&Bar

3914 St. Elmo AVE.(423) 702-5461

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nEW HouRS!mon-SAt: 7Am-10PmSundAY: 11Am-10PmcomE FoR bRuncH!

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22,000-square-foot former skating rink behind the Choo Choo.

It was bigger than they had planned, but it had the infra-structure they needed and it was downtown. They wanted a downtown address prefer-ably within easy reach of the highway. From the outset they assumed that people from Atlanta, Nashville, Knoxville and even Birmingham would willingly drive to Chattanoo-ga if the acts that interested them were here.

According to Kinsey, who now runs Track 29 with his wife, Monica, since McManus left to take a job in Detroit, that’s exactly what has hap-pened. Fans from all over the area have been buying tickets, including two young women who drove all the way from Oklahoma—without tick-ets—to see the young Chris-tian band Need to Breathe a couple of months ago. The band had been playing are-nas opening for Taylor Swift.

This was a chance to see them headline in a relatively small hall. So the two fans drove all night and talked their way into the show in exchange for milkshakes for the band.

They‘re not alone. Many fans are willing to make a long drive to see their favorite bands in an intimate setting. Although the long, rectan-gular building is about twice the size of the club they had envisioned, they can make the room bigger or smaller by moving the stage back and forth. Track 29 can be any-thing from an intimate 500-seat club to a hall big enough for 1700 people. Blackout curtains behind the stage en-sure that for the fans the room always feels full and that the musicians see a sold-out crowd. It may well prove to be the key to their success.

Aside from the enthusiastic

audiences, the musicians are happy because they’re given a comfortable place to relax backstage. The green room not only offers washers and dryers, but a shower. Some musicians have taken as many as three showers, says Kin-sey. After several weeks in the back of a van can you blame them?

But perhaps their smartest move was making a deal with A.C. Entertainment in Knox-ville to help with the booking. A.C. is the company behind Bonnaroo. They also book musical acts into The Bijou and the Tennessee Theatre in Knoxville and The Orange Peel in North Carolina. That gives them an edge on any competitor.

“They can make it worth-while for agents,” Kinsey ex-plains. “They can say, ‘Look, with one deal I can put you in five venues, and then we can move on.’ So, yes, that defi-nitely helps.” It gives Track 29 access to acts that would oth-

erwise be out of their reach, and because of A.C.’s negoti-ating muscle they can keep tickets prices to a minimum.

Nearing its first anniver-sary, Track 29 has so far ex-ceeded initial projections. They expected to lose money in the first year, but accord-ing to Kinsey, “We didn’t lose nearly as much as we thought we would. In the first four months we had 19,000 people in our door—if you annualize that, you’re looking at 80,000 people.”

Jack White at Track 29 on March 10. The concert sold out in seconds.

Photo • Jo McCaughey


Wednesday • July 25Cumberland Collectivefeaturing Noah Collins

Friday • July 27Ashely and the X’s

Villian FamilyAmber Fults

Saturday • July 28Diarrhea PlanetGrass GiraffesWhoremonesChrome Pony

Sunday • July 29Cutthroat ShamrockMonday • July 30

ShashbuckleUnspoken TriumphTuesday • July 31

Guilty Pleasures Dance Party

COMING: 8/4: THAT 90’S SHOW 8/8: YARN w/HUMMING HOUSE

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREETHOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

LIVE MUSIC

CHATTANOOGA JULY

26THU.10pTHE BOHANNONS

with TWO COW GARAGE

27FRI.10pDRIVIN N CRYIN

with BRENT COBB

28SAT.10pYACHT ROCK SCHOONER

“That 70’s Show” — All The Hits!

2THU.8pRANDY ROGERS BAND

Loads of Grit, Swagger & Heart

AUG

3FRI.10pSTRUNG LIKE A HORSE

with ANOTHER ROADSIDE ATTRACTION

ThU 07.26All American Summer featuring Jennifer Daniels6:30 p.m. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.orgAudi Burchett7:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956sugarsribs.comNim Nims, Local Villians8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Blue Man Group8 p.m. memorial auditorium, 399 mccallie ave. (423) 757-5156Erisa Rei with As Girls Go9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192thehonestpint.com.The Bohannons with Two Cow Garage10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. rhythm-brews.com

FRI 07.27Van hunt with Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers7 p.m. nightfall music series, River city stage at miller Plaza, 850 market st. nightfallchattanooga.comQueen B & The Well Strung Band7 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.netKolby Towe8 p.m. meo mio’s cajun & seafood Restaurant, 4119 cummings hwy.(423) 521-7160meomios.comThe South Rail Presents: Fly Golden Eagle, Clear Plastic Masks, Banditos, Eight Knives8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 266-4323track29.co

Bluegrass Night featuringSlim Pickens8 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comAshley and the x’s, Villian Family, Amber Fults8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Dave Walters Trio8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the chattanoogan hotel), 1201 Broad st. (423) 756-3400chattanooganhotel.comMark holder9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Still Runnin9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs,

507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956sugarsribs.comStokeswood10 p.m. Raw sushi Bar, 409 market st. (423) 756-1919Drivin’ n Cryin’ with Brent Cobb10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. rhythm-brews.comBounty hunter10 p.m. skyZoo, 5709 lee hwy. (423) 468-4533skyzoochattanooga.comBud Lightning10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road(423) 499-9878budssportsbar.com

SAT 07.28Ogya Trio10 a.m. chattanooga Incline Railway, 3917 st. elmo ave. (423) 821-4224ridetheincline.comJulie Gribble12:30 p.m. River market at aquarium Plaza, W. aquarium Way(423) 648-2496Queen B & The Well Strung Band7 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.netY&C Experience with Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers8 p.m. meo mio’s cajun & seafood Restaurant, 4119 cummings hwy.

ChATTANOOGA LIVE

ThE BOhANNONS• Hard-working Chattanooga favorites rock Rhythm & Brews with songs from their new album.ThU 07.26 • 10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 market st. • rhythm-brews.com


Facebook.com/theofficechatt

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St(Inside Days Inn)423-634-9191

Thursday, July 26: 9pmOpen Mic

with Mark HolderFriday, July 27: 9pm

Mark Holder

Saturday, July 28: 9pmJenny Clower

Tuesday, July 31: 7pmServer Appreciation Night

$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells$1.50 Domestics

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Market Street Tavern809 Market Street• 423.634.0260

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(423) 521-7160meomios.comIndigo Girls with The CSO8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st. (423) 642-TIXschattanoogaonstage.comThe Creative Underground Presents: Eclectic8 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comBrody Johnson & The Dirt Road Band8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Dr., Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065ringgoldacoustic.comMalcome holcombe8 p.m. charles and myrtle’s coffeehouse, 105 mcBrien Road(423) 892-4960christunity.org/eventsDiarrhea Planet, Grass Giraffes, Whoremones,

Chrome Pony8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Ryan Oyer Band with Megan howard (Release Show)8 p.m. Barking legs The-ater, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgDave Walters Trio8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the chattanoogan hotel), 1201 Broad st. (423) 756-3400chattanooganhotel.comJosh Ritter9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 266-4323track29.coJenny Clower9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Standing Room Only9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs,

507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956sugarsribs.comStokeswood10 p.m. Raw sushi Bar, 409 market st. (423) 756-1919Chad Yates10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 chestnut st. (423) 266-4240tboneschattanooga.comYacht Rock Schooner10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st.rhythm-brews.comOne Night Stand10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road(423) 499-9878budssportsbar.comBounty hunter10 p.m. skyZoo, 5709 lee hwy. (423) 468-4533skyzoochattanooga.com

SUN 07.29

Danimal Pinson10 a.m. urban spoon, 207 Frazier ave. (423) 710-3252Julie Gribble, The Katts, Austin Miller12:30 p.m. chatta-nooga market at First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. chattanoogamarket.com.Molly Maguires7 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192thehonestpint.comCutthroat Shamrock8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

MON 07.30Robin Of The Forest7 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comShashbuckle, Unspoken Triumph, A Day of the Beast8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

TUE 07.31Songs & Stories featuring John Truitt & Noah Collins7 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comGuilty Pleasures Dance Party8:00 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

WED 08.01Bear wipes Ass with Rabbit and DJ Spaz9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192thehonestpint.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

INDIGO GIRLS• Emily Saliers and Amy Ray perform with the Chattanooga Symphony on the last stop of their current tour.SAT 07.28 • 8 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad st. • (423) 757-5050 • chattanoogasymphony.org


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Lately, public urban design has been making a comeback through RiverCity Company’s Urban Design Challenge, in which teams of architects and planners created speculative visions for key places in down-town Chattanooga.

A new exhibit opening July 31 shows off urban design vi-sions, built and unbuilt, from Chattanooga’s Urban Design Studio—the ancestor of the Urban Design Challenge and source of most of the design thinking—that have reshaped downtown since 1980. The Design Studio Retrospective shows selected images from a comprehensive archive of the Design Studio’s body of work from 1980-2005, including plans, drawings and 3-D mod-els by students, staff and some of the nation’s top design pro-fessionals. The exhibit is locat-ed at 831 Chestnut St. and will be on display until Nov. 1.

“The purpose of the archive is to make sure that all those civic visions and ideas that were created in the Studio and out in the community are kept alive, kept safe in a place people can continue to revisit them,” said Christian Rush-ing, who worked at the Urban Design Studio as both an ar-chitecture student and later as an urban design professional. Rushing created the archive and retrospective through a grant from the Lyndhurst Foundation, Benwood Foun-

dation and RiverCity Com-pany, as well as the Watson Fund, created in the name of Stroud Watson, who led the Urban Design Studio.

“I think the Urban Design Challenge has highlighted the thirst of the citizenry for vi-sioning work and for architec-ture and urban design work to have a chance to react and to be engaged with future of the city,” said Rushing. “The work the Design Studio did was the progenitor of the Urban De-sign Challenge. For 20-plus years, they put forth visions for what downtown could pos-sibly become, allowed the city to react to that and engaged in conversations about what we could be.”

The Urban Design Stu-dio began as an outgrowth of the University of Tennes-see School of Architecture. A hands-on “design studio” is a typical element of an architec-tural education. But according to Rushing, the model Stroud

Watson created as a partner-ship between UT and the Lyndhurst Foundation was in-tended from the beginning to bring the talents of architec-ture students to bear on real issues of the day.

“The work those students were doing benefited the com-munity. It helped establish our civic vision and get engaged people in urban design. No one knew what urban de-sign was in the ’80s. It was a foreign concept. Over time, Stroud was hired by Mayor Gene Roberts to be the urban design consultant to the may-or’s office.”

Beyond that, River City Company and later the city-county Regional Planning Agency joined the partnership and added staff members. Throughout the Design Stu-dio’s history, some the best ur-ban design firms in the nation were also brought in by the Design Studio to re-envision pieces of Chattanooga’s down-town.

The Design Studio Ret-rospective walks viewers through key downtown areas, including the Miller Plaza Dis-trict, the Tennessee Aquarium and Plaza, the Southside and the 21st Century Waterfront. There are dozens of images, several tabletop models, video screens and an interactive da-tabase that holds many more images and documents.

Even hardcore fans of down-town Chattanooga probably haven’t seen many of these al-ternative versions of the city: aquarium variations next to several versions of a bay or in-let cut far into the riverbank, a different bridge linking the arts district and Ross’s Land-ing, a Renaissance Park that’s much larger and lined with new buildings, a half dozen

variations on the blocks sur-rounding Miller Plaza, and many more.

Viewing all these varia-tions of familiar downtown places is a little like looking at that famous sequential draw-ing of the ascent of man from ape to Neanderthal to Cro Magnon to modern man. It is possible to see how an idea grew over time into what was finally built. But this exhibit also shows vividly that there was never any overall “ascent of downtown Chattanooga” progression. Instead, it’s clear that Chattanooga’s urban de-sign grew through a profusion of different ideas.

All these alternative draw-ings and models are not reject-ed drafts that might be mildly interesting historical foot-notes. They are the remaining traces of controlled explosions of urban design, bursts of new thinking that were initiated and managed by the Urban Design Studio. And this pro-fusion of visions—many cre-ated as a way of envisioning a new future and without any clear path to construction—was not a side effect. This was the working method for recre-ating downtown Chattanoo-ga: Reimagine, react, repeat.

Reimagine, React, RepeatBy Rich Bailey

there’s something magical about an urban design vision. A drawing or 3-D model that’s not that different from any artist’s work, except that it might reshape real city blocks. That’s the way it is with every human-made thing, of course. They all started out in someone’s imagi-nation. But there’s something about a city that seems to defy the idea of design.

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JULY 27-28: TIM PULNIKThe retrospective shows off urban design visions, built and unbuilt, that have reshaped downtown since 1980.

“No one knew what urban design was in the ’80s. It was a foreign concept. Christian RushingUrban designer and archivist of the Design Studio Retrospective


ThU 07.26Street Food Thursdays11 a.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 market st.warehouserow.netBirds of Prey11 a.m. Rock city, 1400 Patten Roadlookout mtn., ga. (706) 820-2531seerockcity.com/birdsFive for Five Thursdays at The Foundry5 p.m. chattanoogan hotel, 1201 south Broad st. (423) 266-5000chattanooganhotel.comRose Wine Tasting6 p.m. Back Inn café, 412 east 2nd st. (423) 265-5033bluffviewartdistrict.comAll American Summer featuring Jennifer Daniels6 p.m. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View(423) 266-0944huntermuseum.org“Anything Goes”7 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.comOpen Mic7 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comChattanooga Lookouts7:15 p.m. aT&T Field, 201 Power alley(423) 267-2208lookouts.comGary Conrad: Master hypnotist8 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.comBlue Man Group8 p.m. memorial auditorium, 399 mccallie ave. (423) 757-5156chattanoogaonstage.com

FRI 07.27Fresh on Fridays

11 a.m. miller Plaza, 850 market st. (423) 265-3700rivercitycompany.comSouthside Art Stroll5 p.m. southside arts District(423) 475-5533facebook.com/

southsideartstrollGeorgia Winery Ladies Night Out6 p.m. georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.Ringgold, ga. (706) 937-WInegeorgiawines.com

Sake Tasting6 p.m. 212 market Restaurant, 212 market st. (423) 265-1212212market.comNightfall Concert Series7 p.m. miller Plaza, 850 market st. (423) 265-0771nightfallchattanooga.comChattanooga Lookouts7:15 p.m. aT&T Field, 201 Power alley(423) 267-2208lookouts.com“Aladdin”7:30 p.m. The colonnade, 264 catoosa circle, Ringgold, ga. (706) 935-9000colonnadecenter.orgGary Conrad: Master hypnotist7:30 & 10 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Anything Goes”8 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com“The Music Man”8 p.m. signal mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, signal mountainsmph.orgRuby Falls Lantern Tours8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls,

GARY CONRAD: MASTER hYPNOTIST• Conrad has amazed audiences from Alaska to Florida with his hypnotism shows. 07.26-29 • The comedy catch • 3224 Brainerd Road • (423)629-2233thecomedycatch.com

Arts Entertainment& CALENDAR

BLUE MAN GROUP• The theatrical group’s national tour includes both elements from their current perfor-mances, plus new elements created just for this tour.ThU 07.26 • memorial auditorium • 399 mccallie ave. • (423) 757-5156chattanoogaonstage.com


1720 s. scenic hwy. (423) 821-2544rubyfalls.comTim Plunik9:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.comLate Night hoops!10 p.m. howard high school, 2500 south mar-ket st. (423) 643-6055chattanoogahasfun.com

SAT 07.28River Market10 a.m. Tennessee aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad st. (423) 402-9960chattanoogamarket.comSummer Music Weekendsnoon. Rock city, 1400 Patten Roadlookout mtn., ga. (706) 820-2531seerockcity.comhoney harvestnoon. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgQ ‘n’ Brew at the Zoo5:30 p.m. chattanooga Zoo, 301 n. holtzclaw ave. (423) 697-1322chattzoo.orgChattanooga Lookouts7:15 p.m. aT&T Field, 201 Power alley(423) 267-2208lookouts.com“Aladdin”7:30 p.m. The colonnade, 264 catoosa circle, Ringgold, ga. (706) 935-9000colonnadecenter.orgGary Conrad: Master hypnotist7:30 & 10 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.comAudubon Acres Owl Prowl8 p.m. audubon acres, 900 n. sanctuary Roadchattanoogafun.com“Anything Goes”8 p.m. chattanooga

Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com“The Music Man”8 p.m. signal mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, signal mountainsmph.orgThe Indigo Girls with the CSO8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st. (423) 757-5050chattanooga.govTim Plunik10:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.com

SUN 07.29Chattanooga Market: Tomato Festival11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 carter st. (423) 402-9960chattanoogamarket.comChampagne Sunday Brunch11 a.m. chattanoogan hotel, 1201 south Broad st. (423) 266-5000chattanooganhotel.comSummer Music Weekendsnoon. Rock city, 1400 Patten Roadlookout mtn., ga. (706) 820-2531seerockcity.comhoney harvestnoon. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.org“Anything Goes”2:30 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.comGary Conrad: Master hypnotist5:30 & 8 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

MON 07.30Music Monday7 p.m. Pasha coffee & Tea, 3914 st. elmo ave. (423) 475-5482pashacoffeehouse.com

TUE 07.31Tuesdays at Tony’s11 a.m. Tony’s Pasta shop & Trattoria, 212 high st. (423) 265-5033bluffviewartdistrict.comLive Team Trivia7:30 p.m. Brewhaus, 224 Frazier ave.(423) 531-8490chattanoogatrivia.comMouth of the South Stand-up ComedyContest8 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.com

WED 08.01Main Street Farmer’s Market4 p.m. 325 e. main st. mainstfarmersmarket.comChattanooga Night Market5 p.m. Ross’s landing, chestnut street & Riverfront Parkwaychattanoogamarket.comWine Wednesdays5 p.m. Back Inn café, 412 east 2nd st.

(423) 265-5033bluffviewartdistrict.comWine Down Wednesday5 p.m. Broad street grille, 1201 Broad st. (423) 424-3700chattanooganhotel.com

Ongoing Sound and Vision: Monumental Rock & Roll Photography (thru aug. 12)10 a.m. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944huntermuseum.orgScience Demo: Looks Like Magic But… (thru sept. 10)10 a.m. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgSongs from the Soul (Thru aug. 24)10 a.m. Bessie smith cultural center, 200 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-8658bessiesmithcc.orgTinkerToys: Build Your Imagination (Thru sept. 9)10:10 a.m. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgAVA All Member Salon Show (thru July 28)11 a.m. aVa gallery, 30 Frazier ave. (423) 265-1282avarts.orgCoyee Shipp Langston: “See Through” (July)In-Town gallery, 26a Frazier ave. (423) 267-9214intowngallery.com“Collecting Thoughts” (July)River gallery, 400 e. 2nd st. (423) 265-5033river-gallery.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

TIM PLUTNIK07.27-28 • Standup comedian performs at the Vaudeville cafe.9:30 (Friday) & 10:30 p.m. (saturday)Vaudeville cafe138 market st.(423) 517-1839funnydinner.com


When it comes to cooking, I often hear the complaint that someone’s kitchen is just too small to “really cook” in. The implication being that unless you have been blessed with a nice long countertop and a huge dangling exhaust hood, the best you can do is heat up a can of Spaghetti-O’s or mi-crowave a Hot Pocket. This couldn’t be further from the truth and Mykonos Greek Grill, located at 808 Market St., can show you just how much can be done with a very small space.

Mykonos is one of those little places that hides in plain sight. Tucked into in a tiny space right next to the Miller Plaza stage between Subway and Bleacher Bums, Mykonos serves up heaping portions of some of the best Greek and Middle Eastern food in the city out of a kitchen with all the square footage of an air-

plane bathroom. When you visit, be prepared to eat your lunch at one of the plaza or pavilion tables because Myko-nos is take-out only. Also be prepared to watch the inad-equacies you feel about your own small kitchen shrink up like a scared turtle as owner Mike Asaba serves 100-plus lunch orders a day off of a small tabletop double burner and tabletop grill.

The food, like the owner, is a mixture of Greek and Mid-dle Eastern with a menu that reflects that blend. For many folks, the differences between Greek and Middle Eastern food are difficult to sort out, especially when it comes to the ubiquitous gyro/schwarma/doner dish. Although this is a bit of an oversimplification, these are essentially different words to describe the same preparation of meat. Gyro is the Greek word, doner is the

Turkish word and schwarma is the Arabic word that is used to describe a similar prepa-ration of spit-roasted and thinly sliced meat. The type of meat used depends on the region. Pork is common in Greece, but you usually won’t find pork doner or schwarma, and lamb, beef and chicken are found in all three regions. The gyro at Mykonos is thinly sliced lamb that has been pre-pared and spiced so that the flavor of the lamb is mild yet flavorful thanks to the com-plimentary aromatics and vegetables it is served with. The gyro, among other dishes at Mykonos, is served with their signature tzatziki sauce. Asaba keeps the ingredients secret, but it’s still a tradi-tional yogurt-based sauce that tastes much better than the version served up by the sauces namesake restaurant down the road.

Rather than limit myself to one particular dish I like to get a combination plate with falafel, gyro, baba ghanoush and hummus. Repeat that three times into a mirror and Robert Tilton will appear and lay hands on you.

As a Southerner, it is easy to love falafel and I love Myko-nos’ falafel. It’s fried, it’s beans and it’s fun to say—fa-la-ful.

Dip these little patties of fried goodness in Mykonos’ tzatziki sauce and prepare to become addicted. Baba ghanoush and hummus are both dips or spreads that originated in the Middle East. Baba gha-noush is made with roasted eggplant and has a slightly smoky and nutty flavor, while hummus is a dip made from mashed chickpeas, tahini, lemon and seasonings (tahini is just ground sesame seeds—a bit like peanut butter, but with much less fat and sugar). What’s not to love about a good bean dip?

Whatever you order at Mykonos you are going to waddle away from the meal with a belly full of comestibles and change left in your pock-et. A typical order will eas-ily stuff a three-compartment to-go container with enough food to feed Anne Burrell and her hair. The best part is that you don’t have to dip into the kids’ college fund to pay for it.

Check out Mykonos the next time you’re downtown for lunch and don’t complain about how small your kitchen is. Bigger isn’t necessarily al-ways better.

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Visit Mike McJunkin’s Facebook page (Sushi and Bis-cuits) for updates and recipes.

Good Things From a Tiny Kitchensize doesn’t always matter. americans have had it drilled into our heads from the time we were kids that bigger is better and more magical. You’ll never be asked if you want less fries with that; no one is ever impressed with how small your car is; and plastic surgeons aren’t getting rich cutting cartoonishly large body parts down to average size. We believe that if small is good, then huge will be even better, and if I don’t have a big one, how can I possibly compete with my neighbor?

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THE PULSE • STATE OF THE ARTS • AUG. 23 • 2012


Free Will Astrology ROB BREZSNY

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The state of Maine has a law that prohibits anyone from leaving an airplane while it is flying. This seems like a reasonable restriction until you realize how badly it discriminates against skydivers. Laws tend to be crude, one-size-fits-all formu-lations. And as I’m sure you’ve discovered in your travels, one-size-fits-all formulations always squash expressions of individual-ity. In the coming weeks, be extra alert for pressures to conform to overly broad standards and sweeping generalizations. Rebel if necessary. You have license to be yourself to the tenth power.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I pro-pose that you try to accomplish the following clean-up projects in the next four weeks: 10 bushels of weeds yanked out of your psychic landscape; 25 pounds of unused stuff and moldering junk hauled away from your home; 10 loads of dirty laundry (especially the metaphorical kind) washed free of taint and stains—and not blabbed about on social media; a forgotten fence mended; and a festering wound tended to until it heals.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Phi-losopher William Irwin Thompson says that we humans are like flies creeping along the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. We literally cannot see the splendor that surrounds us. As a result, we don’t live in reality. We’re lost in our habitual perceptions and addicted to be-liefs that hide the true nature of the universe. The good news is that every now and then, each of us slips into a grace period when it’s possible to experience at least some of the glory we’re normally cut off from. The weeks ahead will be the closest you’ve come to this breakthrough in a long time.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Can you guess which European country has the best military re-cord in the last eight centuries? It’s France. Out of the 185 battles its soldiers have engaged in, they’ve won 132 and lost only 43. Ten times they fought to a draw. Of all the signs of the zodiac, Scorpio, I think you have the best chance of compiling a comparable record in the next 10 months. But please keep in mind what the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu said in his iconic text “The Art of War”: The smart and powerful warrior always avoids outright conflict if possible, and wins by us-ing slyer means.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): After consulting the astro-

logical omens, I’ve concluded that during the next three weeks, you will deserve the following titles: 1. Most Likely to Benefit from Ser-endipitous Adventures; 2. Most Likely to Exclaim “Aha!”; 3. Most Likely to Have a Wish Come True If This Wish Is Made in the Pres-ence of a Falling Star. You might want to wait to fully embody that last title until the period between Aug. 9 and 14, when the Perseids meteor shower will be gracing the night skies with up to 170 streaks per hour. The peak flow will come on Aug. 12 and 13.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You may have to travel far and wide before you will fully ap-preciate a familiar resource whose beauty you’re half-blind to. It’s possible you’ll have to suffer a par-tial loss of faith so as to attract ex-periences that will make your faith stronger than it ever was. And I’m guessing that you may need to slip outside your comfort zone for a while in order to learn what you need to know next about the arts of intimacy. These are tricky as-signments. I suggest you welcome them without resentment.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My daughter Zoe has been writing some fine poetry these last few years. I regard it as professional-grade stuff that has been born of natural talent and developed through discipline and hard work. You might ask, quite reasonably, whether my evaluation of her liter-ary output is skewed by fatherly pride. I’ve considered that pos-sibility. But recently, my opinion got unbiased corroboration when her school awarded her with the “All-College Honor” for her poetry manuscript. I predict you will soon have a comparable experience. Your views or theories will be con-firmed by an independent and ob-jective source.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The critic Dorothy Parker didn’t think highly of Katherine Hepburn’s act-ing skills. “She runs the emotional gamut from A to B,” said Parker. I’m hoping you will be Hepburn-like in the coming week, Pisces. This is not the right time for you to entertain a wide array of slip-pery, syrupy, succulent feelings. Nor would it be wise to tease out every last nuance of the beguiling vibes rising up within you. For the time being, you need to explore the pleasures of discerning per-ception and lucid analysis. Get lost in deep thought, not rampant passion.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In

your personal chart, the planet Uranus symbolizes those special talents you have that are especial-ly useful to other people. Which aspects of your soulful beauty are potentially of greatest service to the world? How can you express your uniqueness in ways that activate your most profound gen-erosity? If you learn the answers to these questions, you will make great progress toward solving the riddle that Uranus poses. I’m hap-py to report that the coming years will provide you with excellent op-portunities to get to the bottom of this mystery. And now would be a good time to launch a concerted effort.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the coming weeks, I’m afraid there’s only a very small chance that you’ll be able to turn invisible at will, shapeshift into an animal form and back, or swipe the nec-tar of immortality from the gods. The odds of success are much higher, though, if you will attempt less ambitious tasks that are still pretty frisky and brazen. For example, you could germinate a potential masterpiece where nothing has ever grown. And you could magically transform a long-stuck process that no one thought would ever get unstuck.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Are there are any weaknesses or problems in your approach to communication? They will be exposed in the coming weeks. If you’re even slightly lazy or devious about expressing yourself, you will have to deal with the karmic consequences of that shortcom-ing. If there’s more manipulative-ness than love in your quest for connection, you’ll be compelled to do some soul-searching. The good news is that you will have far more power than usual to upgrade the way you exchange energy with others. In fact, this could be the time you enter into a golden age of communication.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you narrow your focus now, the world will really open up for you in the second half of October and November. To the degree that you impose limitations on your desire to forever flow in all directions, you will free up creative ideas that are currently buried. So summon up some tough-minded disci-pline, please. Refuse to let your moodiness play havoc with your productivity. Dip into your reserve supply of high-octane ambition so you will always have a sixth sense about exactly what’s important and what’s not.

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jonesin’ Crossword

ACROSS1. Company sorta responsible for the “Battleship” movie7. Atkins Diet word11. Each15. Prepared16. 1970s pills18. “The Onion” genre19. One-humper20. Vampire’s favorite body part22. First half of a secret language on “Zoom”23. “Dear God” band25. Congolese president assassinated in 200128. ___/IP31. ___-Ur (Egyptian sky god; hidden in CHERUBIC)32. Nada33. They’re mostly in the Pacific36. “The Sabre Dance” composer40. Societal breakdown, as it were41. Scientists collect it

42. Perceived to be43. 8-bit video game console44. Really mad45. “Silent Spring” pesticide46. Sneezer’s need49. Orch. section50. The Ducks’ school, casually52. Alka-Seltzer noise54. What you get for a dunk59. Make happy63. Uncalled for64. Subject of the “cloth or plastic” debate65. Black, to poets66. Win at chess67. Mopey Disney character

DOwN1. ___ Master’s Voice (RCA logo)2. Molly’s “Delicious Dish” costar, on “SNL”3. Slaughter’s rank: abbr.4. Turn into an

obligation for5. Like hen’s teeth6. Vacuum cleaner brand named for its founder7. Maritime abbr. that predated SOS8. Sound-related prefix9. Hunter S. Thompson character ___ Duke10. Hip-hop pioneer Afrika ___11. Computer aid for the blind12. Blackberry, e.g.13. Word after “fight” in “The Star-Spangled Banner”14. ___-ops (CIA tricks)17. Country known for cedars: abbr.21. Shaq-as-genie movie23. Made copies24. Walked really hard26. They come with caps27. Marimba ringtone items29. Free drawings30. ___ of Paris31. Fuzzy environments

34. Jethro ___35. Golf legend Sam37. ___ Nerys (“Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” character)38. “Reservoir Dogs” or “Ocean’s Eleven”39. Misbehaves47. Ancient region on the Aegean48. Give the slip51. Punched-in-the-solar-plexus reaction53. “The Andy Griffith Show” kid54. Tub temperature tester55. When repeated, derisive term for dubstep’s repetitive bass line56. Ear-related prefix57. Explosive stuff58. Take notice of60. NASDAQ event61. “___ sure, dude!”62. Uno plus uno plus uno

MATT JONES

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For an-swers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0582.

“Sixteen Handles”—right down the middle.

BREW

ER M

EDIA

IS HIR

ING Account ExecutiveAccount Executive (Chattanooga) Position Available at Brewer Media

Permanent Full-Time

Brewer Media wants YOU! We’re seeking talented Sales Account Executives to join our high-performing team in print and online media sales. You will be responsible for hunting out new leads, making fancy presentations, managing existing accounts and selling new business. The ideal candidate has been a successful sales person, loves Chat-tanooga, and excels in cultivating relationships with area businesses. Qualified candidates will possess: Excellent written and verbal com-mand of the English language; Organization of time with a laser-focus attention to detail, plus amazing follow through; audience- and needs- based selling approach (and knowing what that means); Outgoing and influential personality with a positive attitude (save your drama for your momma); Ability to generate your own business and to think creatively for clients. The position offers you product training, a base salary plus commission on all sales, bonuses, and the ability to get free passes to events! We also have a few radio stations you can represent as well. To be considered, please email a cover letter, resume, and salary history to :

Mike Baskin: [email protected] Subject: “Sales Job”

The Pulse Advantage: With the most comprehensive news, arts and entertain-ment coverage in Chattanooga, The Pulse has become the most reliable media resource for an extremely diverse readership. Each and every week, more than 30,000 active, educated, affluent and highly influential consumers make many of their purchasing decisions based on advertisements they see on the pages of The Pulse.

Brewer Media is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

ATN Hoelzel LP seeks Exec. Vice President for its Chattanooga, TN office. Must have Master’s in Business Admin. or closely rel. field & 3 yrs exp. in business dvlpmnt. Work exp. must include at least 2 yrs exp. w/ operational management & efficiency analysis in organizational leadership role. Must have proven yearly sales record of $5 million. Up to 30% domestic and 20% int’l travel required.

Send resume w/ cvr ltr to:Nicole Brown at [email protected] Reference job #EVP0001

professional employment

Executive Vice President


Meats and fish I’m sure includes just about every kind of protein you can think of, from steaks and hamburgers to Buffalo wings, beef jerky, hot dogs and Lamar’s chicken. But one thing the meat sec-tion of the old food pyra-mid leaves out is pork, and more specifically, ba-con. Maybe it’s not kosher for some, but pork in the South is a staple of our ex-istence.

Growing up here in the Noog, if family break-fasts didn’t include coun-try ham or bacon, we’d be eatin’ vegetarian. And then what are we supposed to have for lunch? No pork barbecue? Don’t make me have to settle for another patty melt. I remember my favorite lunch as a young tike was “Deviled Ham,” which was essen-tially canned ham chunks swimming in some sort of mayonnaise-based “dev-iled” part. I loved the stuff, but my mom admits that she always gagged when making my sammies.

My favorite member of the carnivore food group however has always been bacon. In fact, I think its contribution to American cuisine is so significant, and tasty, that bacon should be at the top of the food chain for it is truly the “perfect food.”

First of all, it’s versatile. You can fry up a few strips to go with your eggs in the morning, combine it with

lettuce and tomato for a satisfying lunch sandwich and then crumble up the leftovers to sprinkle on top of your dinner salad. It’s the perfect hand food. Grab a couple of strips and head out the door for a quick snack on the go. And dogs love it. Your ca-nine will learn to sit a lot faster and obey a hell of a lot more if he realizes his reward is going to be a bit of his brother the pig.

In addition to its culi-nary flexibility, bacon is just plain delicious. Its taste is fantastic in a way that no other food outside of sweets can deliver. In fact, it’s the one forbid-den food you’ll hear all vegetarians say they miss the most about their for-mer meat-eating days. I’ve even had Jewish friends covet the fatty strips of un-clean meat so much that they beg for just a whiff in a blind attempt to imagine

its effects on the palette. There’s no real right or

wrong way of preparing bacon. Some methods are better than others, but all produce positive results. I simply love the bacon at the Longhorn restaurant on North Market Street and realized why when I saw them prepare it. First they fry it under a bacon press on the griddle like you’d imagine. But then they scoop it up and plop it into the fry basket for a soak in the boiling oil for a couple of minutes just to make sure it’s saturated in saturated fat before it makes you fat. For a min-ute or two after witnessing this I swear I was having chest pains, but I ordered it anyway.

Public pressure to curb our unquenchable desire for those seductive strips of fatty goodness has led to the creation of the dreaded “turkey bacon.” I’m not sure what part of the turkey produces bacon strips because to be honest I have no idea what part of the pig bacon comes from. But I can tell you this—turkey bacon just ain’t natural. It’s like trying to replace a Clark bar with a granola bar. Sure, they’re both tasty bar-shaped treats, but only one will make you oink.

The Fifth Food Groupaccording to my elementary school health classes back in the day, there are four food groups: Fruits and vegetables, milk and dairy (of which the “dairy” means cheese and ice cream), breads and grains (or pasta), and meats and fish, which I hear has now been simplified to “proteins.” That’s disgusting. I don’t want to eat a “protein,” but I guess the new term at least precludes me from having to think about how many legs my dinner plate guest once had.

Life in the Noog ChUCK CROWDER

Chuck Crowder is a lo-cal writer and man about town. The opinions ex-pressed are his own.

Bacon should be at the top of the food chain. It’s the perfect food.

the pulse 9.30 » july 26-aug. 1, 2012

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