THE QUARTERLY

AUTUMN ‘13

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Editor’s Letter

View from the Bridge

Chapter Head Update

Where have we been?

Head Swap

Going Bananas!

Where’s Wally?

Fresh Meat

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Editor’s

Letter

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Hello Phrey Spirits!

Well it’s been a little while. I hope you’re all well and not too sad to

see the end of summer. I’m off to Spain for a week’s holiday in the

morning so I’m quite alright, thanks very much.

So what’s been going on? Let me see. The last three months have

seen me split my time between London, Solihull, Welwyn Garden City and a week in Prague. Prague was probably the low point… 18-20

hour days, staying in the (surely ironically named) Top Hotel, all

marvellously started and ended by two delayed Easyjet flights. It was

a week in which I didn’t step outside for three days straight,

experienced a “singing fountain” (even naffer than it sounds,

incredibly), had a consolation pint in the smoke-filled underground

hotel casino at 2am every night and discovered that Easyjet simply

won’t entertain the idea of a piece of luggage weighing 50kgs. “But it’s for an important workshop event” didn’t help. Luckily we survived,

though I thought I might actually see James Bowers lose his temper at

one point. He didn’t.

The end of this quarter is a big one for us. Obviously we have our

quarterly event to host (Chris E.: it’s on the 11th October) but also it’s

going to be time to say goodbye to some of our longest-serving

members: Natalia, Christopher, Kate and Cynthia. It is with pride that I

have watched them grow from young, small and vulnerable associate

consultants into fully developed and mature consultants. Don’t forget

about us chaps.

It’s also time to say a fond farewell to George as he heads off to the

world of filmmaking. Good luck young man. Hopefully we’ll see you

back on occasion, no doubt in full hipster mode.

That’s all for now. As ever, if you have any problems let me know and

I’ll do my best to help if I can. Maybe not next week, but definitely the

week after.

Have a great weekend

Jon “I’m now back from Spain because Chris asked for this update ages ago” Humphreys

“My hump my hump my

hump my hump – check it

out” 7

Firstly, thanks so much to C Bear for making this amazing, and of course, digital, newsletter happen. It simply exudes awesomeness (and can I please note that Kate has excellent style

- see page 14!) I’m going to bullet point this chapter head update and fill it with tips, because hey, we all love bullet points. Short and sweet. Website tip: This is one of my favourite websites - http://www.psfk.com. It’s got lots of news that are divided into inspiring, creative and business categories, and do not fear, all very digirati-esque. There is always a lot on retail on it (this one is for you C Bear) as well as other industries so do have a look if you’re looking to be entertained or informed. Who else is going to tell you about curvy long chairs that reposition themselves to save space? App tip: Please get Candy Crush, you really don’t want to miss out on it. A bit risqué to tell y’all about this since you probably don’t have such extreme additive tendencies, but I actually popped out to get coffee the other day just to be able to play it on my way to Starbucks. Fitness tip: I suggest we all pick up this sport as a chapter. Let me know what you think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbB9v8ooQno

And lastly... Chapter thank you: We’ve had a lot of admin-y tasks this past quarter, with the quarterly meeting coming up and the chapter charter which we had to get out in just a couple of days. Thank you all so much for being super supportive with it. Safe to say, we are the best chapter eva. Johanna

HEADSHEADS8

A A

UP UP 9

DS DS Hello Chapterinos!! Hope you’re all well and happy! I thought I’d keep the update nice and varied so here are a couple of thoughts that have gone through my mind in the last week or two… • Having meetings at hotels has made me realise I thoroughly lack discipline when it comes to food… with and endless supply of jelly beans, Celebrations and warm cookies…. Oh, and Starbucks ... what are we to do? It would be rude not to eat them all!

• On Saturday, I went to watch Once, the Musical. It’s not your conventional song and dance show – it’s much more – unusual, funny and truly enjoyable. Highly recommend it (especially if you like having a drink on stage…)

• A couple of weeks ago in Argentina, Tokyo was chosen as host city for the 2020 Olympics. Madrid and Istanbul were the other 2 contenders to reach the final. You could describe the Spaniards as the eternal optimists but who wouldn’t think that we’d make it?! Isn’t the expression “third time lucky”? Clearly not. Anyway, our Mayor, Ana Botella (wife of the former President Aznar), gave a speech (in English – mostly) which will not be easily forgotten. Her “relaxing café con leche in the Plaza Mayor” (one of the main squares in Madrid) was very criticised but, spotting a business opportunity, a firm in Valencia has already started up a company which produces mugs with the phrase. They sold over 20 mugs in the first week and coffee sales in the Plaza Mayor have increased since the “incident”. Simply. Brilliant.

And finally, on chapter business…watch this space for the new Chapter Head appointment and some fellow new members from Sept ’13. See you soon! Natalia

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Katherine Isobel Grace Moses Jane McCarthy Mat to the Lan Skelmersdale (yes) The Walkers Crisp Factory KitKat Knacker-Spotting Like Chris places no value on sleep. But sure is why we love him

Dan Tendler Planning the CDC Induction London Lamb & Halloumi Wrap Place Bounce Drinking Not too shabby, thanks for asking

Christopher Baird Morrisons Leeds Sous le Nez The Botanist Everyman Cinema Motivated

Chris Elliott FS Bid Holborn Leather Lane Bounce Taking my chances across Holborn Circus Phrey

Johanna Gursoy Barclays Canary Wharf Birley Iberica Hmmm. Shopping? AWESOME > the usual

Jon Humphreys Tesco Welwyn Garden City/Prague The hotel buffet with all the teenage backpackers from Montenegro A super-dingy, smoke-filled underground casino in the Top Hotel Prague. Only place open late! I tried to stay indoors all week. I failed on day 4 Better

James Bowers ASE Holborn Those lamb wraps on leather lane Bouncer The tube stop to go somewhere better Sleep-deprived

Natalia (otherwise known as NGM…but not to be confused with NG Metering) National Grid Hinckley/Warwick/Leamington/Coventry…you know it, I have a t-shirt! The Orange Tree – yummy! The Rose and Crown – great memories of a catwalk and firemen… Meeting up with university friends…on a train platform V. Happy (there’s no option when the meeting room key is a V. Happy Bunny!!)

Jonathan and Cynthia must be dead.

It’s the only possible reason I could see as to why

they wouldn’t answer my questionnaire.

Morgan Rees HMRC DOM Westminster The Cinnamon Club The Chandos Classic sight-seeing Gruff

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where have we been?

K

J C

D

C

N

J

J

M

I’M IN SUCH A

HUMPH

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HEAD 13

CAN YOU TELL WHOSE BODY IS WHO?

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GOING

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B

ANANAS

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How bananas are grown The banana is a perennial plant that replaces itself. Bananas do not grow from a seed but from a bulb or rhizome. The time between planting a banana plant and the harvest of the banana bunch is from 9 to 12 months. The flower appears in the sixth or seventh month. Bananas are available throughout the year - they do not have a growing 'season'. Bananas are grown in tropical regions where the average temperature is 80° F (27° C) and the yearly rainfall is between 78 and 98 inches. They require moist soil with good drainage. In fact, most bananas exported are grown within 30 degrees either side of the equator. Plantations are predominant in Latin America and they require huge investment in infrastructure and technology for transport, irrigation, drainage and packing facilities. Smallholder production is less capital intensive and more labour intensive. This system is present mainly in the Eastern Caribbean because, due to topographical factors, it is not possible to use the plantation system. Banana growing is, in general, labour intensive, involving clearing of jungle growth, propping of the plants to counter bending from the weight of the growing fruit, and irrigation in some regions. As well as an intensive use of pesticides, the conventional production process involves covering banana bunches with polyethylene bags to protect them from wind, attacks of insects or birds and to maintain optimum temperatures.

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Harvesting and ripening After nine months, the bananas are harvested while still green. At the packhouse they are inspected and sorted for export. Buyers of fruit in the UK want unbruised bananas and so very high standards are set. If the bananas do not meet these standards they are usually sold locally at a much lower price. They are then transported to ports to be packed in refrigerated ships called reefers (bananas take between six and twelve days to get to the UK/Europe). They are transported at a temperature of 13.3°C in order to increase their shelf life, and require careful handling in order to prevent damage. Humidity, ventilation and temperature conditions are carefully monitored in order to maintain quality. When the bananas arrive at their destination port they are first sent to ripening rooms (a process involving ethylene gas) and then sent to the shops. Dessert banana production for export (around 15 million tonnes per year) is of huge economic importance for many countries in the South. It relies on intensive monocultures, which are sustained by using massive quantities of toxic chemicals which are hazardous to both workers and the environment. This industrial-scale production also results in problematic waste management issues. Research led by CIRAD (International Agricultural Research for Development Centre) demonstrates that significant agrochemical reduction can be achieved while maintaining good levels of productivity and quality. Organic systems are increasingly being viewed as a viable and important alternative to conventional production in some regions. Why was this article even in here? I have no idea. Bananas!

(he’s over there, silly - that was easy)

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JULIA BOWLER

CHARLOTTE DENNER

KEIMIA ALIKHANI

We have three new joiners to Phrey Spirits - say hello! Proper introductions will follow later…