the remedy by suzanne young (extended excerpt)

8/9/2019 The Remedy by Suzanne Young (Extended Excerpt)

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WIQU N

A@I]U] BD APQE@L


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Mcipt`r Bl`

NU„] UNF@ UB ]I^ HBBE-A^@. N ]NU NL UC@ IQFMCINQ

mjbs`st tb tc` ebbr ile dbje fy ciles pbjnt`jy nl fy jip. Uc`

rbbf ns tbb wirf. Ubb qun`t. Fy fbtc`r `lt`rs drbf tc`

ontmc`l, c`r j`dt ̀ y` swbjj`l ile arunsè, sfijj smritmc`s mirvè

nltb c`r mc`òs. ]c` jnfps tb tc` pjine sbdi, wivnlh bdd c`jp

wc`l N bdd`r, ile ìs`s bltb tc` pitt`rlè muscnbl l`xt tb fy

ditc`r. N scbbt cnf il ulmbfdbrtiaj` hjilm`, aut c` eb`sl„t jndtcns cìe? tìrs ernp bltb cns hriy sjimos, ile N turl iwiy.

N a`hnl tb hliw bl tc` nlsne` bd fy jbw`r jnp, wintnlh nl

snj`lm` is tc`y mblsne`r tc`nr wbres. Ucns nlt`rv`ltnbl-styj`

dir`w`jj ns cirejy tc` dbrfit N nfihnlè, aut tc` fbf`lt

a`jblhs tb tc`f, sb N ebl„t nlt`rd`r`. N mist i jblhnlh jbbo tb

wc`r` fy wbrl aimopimo wints lìr tc` ebbr. Iirbl cie a`tt`r

lbt a` jit` pnmonlh f` up tcns tnf`.


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5 ]uzill` ^bulh

‚Ir` ybu sur` ybu mil„t stiy ilbtc`r lnhct2‖ fy ditc`r

isos, hrnppnlh cns wnd`„s cile cire `lbuhc tb turl cns olumoj`s

wcnt`. Uc`y abtc stir` it f` pjìenlhjy, aut N ebl„t hnv` tc`f

dijs` cbp`. N wbl„t a` tcit mru`j.

‚]brry, aut lb,‖ N siy onlejy. ‚Ucns ns wc`r` w` siy hbbe-ay`.‖

Fy fbtc`r pujjs c`r cile drbf fy ditc`r„s, murjnlh nt nltb

i dnst it c`r fbutc. ]c` mcbo`s aimo i sba, ile N witmc is tc`

stntmcè wbule bl c`r mc`ò mrnloj`s c`r sonl.

N rìmc dbr fy bwl tìrs, trynlh tb ippìr syfpitc`tnm.^bu„jj l`v`r s`` ybur pir`lts ihinl, N tcnlo. Nsl„t tcit sie2 Aut ijj

N mil fust`r ns i ant bd ajurry vnsnbl. Nt s``fs i jnttj` cìrtj`ss,

`v`l tb f`, tcit N mil„t fburl tc`nr jbss. Aut N„v` bljy olbwl

tc`s` p`bpj` dbr twb eiys. A`sne`s, tc` mjnps bl fy cinr `xt`l-

snbls ir` ernvnlh fy smijp fie. N rìmc i dnlh`rlinj nl a`tw``l

fy rè striles ile smritmc.

Fy fbtc`r tio`s i e``p arìtc ile tc`l a`hnls c`r

r`cìrsè hbbe-ay`. ‚@fnjy,‖ sc` siys nl i scioy vbnm`. ‚Xc`l

ybu enè, fy jnd` `leè tbb.‖ I tìr rbjjs sjbwjy ebwl c`r

mc`ò, sjnppnlh nltb c`r enfpj` a`dbr` dijjnlh iwiy. ‚N mbujel„t

s`` a`yble fy hrn`d,‖ sc` mbltnlu`s. ‚Uc` mbuls`jbrs tbje f`N cie tb, aut N mbuje bljy r`pjiy tcbs` jist fnlut`s nl tc` mir.

Ucns cbrrnaj` jbbp bd pinl―‖ ]c` mcbo`s up, ile fy ditc`r

rìmc`s tb rua c`r aimo sbbtcnlhjy. N ebl„t nlt`rrupt. ‚Ile tc`l

ybu w`r` hbl`,‖ fy fbtc`r wcnsp`rs, jbbonlh it f`. ‚N jbvè

ybu fbr` tcil ilytcnlh, aut ybu w`r` tbrl iwiy. N trnè . . . N

trnè sb cire, aut N mbujel„t siv` ybu. N„f sbrry, @fnjy.‖

N„f i air`jy pissiaj` v`rsnbl bd @fnjy―endd`r`lt `y`s,


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Uc` Q@F@E^ 0

sfijj`r mcnl. Aut fy fbtc`r ns hrn`vnlh, ile tcrbuhc c`r

tìrs N„f sur` sc` tcnlos N jbbo ne`ltnmij tb c`r eìe eiuhct`r.

Ile fiya` tcit r`s`fajilm` pinls c`r `v`l fbr` wc`l w`„r`

tcns mjbs`.

‚N jbv` ybu tbb, Fbf,‖ N siy iutbfitnmijjy, ile djnmo fy

hiz` tb fy ditc`r. ‚Ile tcilo ybu, Eie, dbr ijj ybu„v` ebl`

dbr f`. N wis v`ry cippy. Lb fitt`r wcit, N„jj ijwiys a` wntc

ybu‖―N put fy cile bl fy mc`st―‚nl ybur cìrts.‖

Uc` wbres ir` ery nl fy fbutc, aut N stnmo tb tc` smrnpt wc`lN mil„t p`rsblijnz` fy sp``mc nl sbf` btc`r wiy. Pjtnfit`jy, tcns

ns wcit tc`y wiltè tb cìr―br ritc`r, wcit tc`y l`èè tb cìr

tb civ` mjbsur`. Uc`y wiltè f` tb olbw N wis jbvè.

Fy pcbl` auzz`s nl fy pbmo`t, aut N ebl„t runl tc`

fbf`lt tb mc`mo nt. X`„r` pist eìejnl` ile nt cis hrbwl eiro

butsne`, aut N wbl„t jìv` ultnj N„f sur` fy pir`lts wnjj h`t

tcrbuhc tcns. N wint i aìt, ile fy fbtc`r slnddj`s ile wnp`s

c`r dim` wntc c`r pijfs.

‚N fnss ybu, @fnjy,‖ sc` siys, ile c`r vbnm` mrimos bv`r fy

lif`. ‚N fnss ybu `v`ry eiy.‖ Uc` dnrst tìrs prnmo fy `y`s,

tc` cbl`sty nl c`r `fbtnbls p`l`tritnlh tc` wijj N„v` mir`dujjyaunjt. N sfnj` it c`r, cbpnlh nt j`ss`ls c`r imc`.

‚N olbw ybu jbvè f`,‖ N siy, hbnlh bdd smrnpt. ‚Aut,

Fbf . . . tcns wisl„t ybur diujt. Nt wis il immne`lt―i t`r-

rnaj`, trihnm immne`lt. Wjìs` ebl„t ajif` yburs`jd ilyfbr`. N

dbrhnv` ybu.‖

Fy fbtc`r mjips abtc ciles bv`r c`r fbutc, r`jn`d c`fbr-

rcihnlh is c`r scbuje`rs scio` wntc c`r sbas. Ucns ns nt―c`r


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4 ]uzill` ^bulh

mjbsur`. ]c` l`èè r`jn`d drbf c`r hunjt. Fy ditc`r mjnfas tb

cns d``t ile fbtnbls tbwire tc` ebbr. N stile tb dbjjbw cnf,

aut pius` ile jbbo aimo it fy fbtc`r.

‚N„f sid` lbw,‖ N mbltnlu`. ‚Lbtcnlh mil `v`r curt f`

ihinl. Lbt bl` tcnlh.‖ N turl tb jìv` tc` rbbf, fy vbnm` air`jy

iuenaj` bv`r c`r mrn`s. ‚Hbbe-ay`, Fbf.‖

Fy issnhlf`lt ns mbfpj`t`.

N dbjjbw fy ditc`r tb tc` drblt ebbr, ile wc`l w` rìmc

tc` `ltrywiy, N ruffih` tcrbuhc tc` scrèeè fneej` pbmo`tbd fy aimopimo ile pujj but i swìtscnrt. N yilo tc` Qbjjnlh

]tbl`s U-scnrt bdd bv`r fy tilo tbp ile cile nt tb fy eie . . .

br, ritc`r, Ijil Wnllimj`.

Dbr tc` pist twb eiys, N„v` a``l wìrnlh cns eiuhct`r„s

divbrnt` mjbtc`s, ìtnlh c`r divbrnt` dbbes, sj``pnlh nl c`r aè.

N„f tc` Hbjenjbmos tc` aìrs tbbo nl tb r`pjim` tc` bl` tc`y

jbst, `v`l nd nt wis bljy tb siy hbbe-ay`.

Ijil jbbos ebwl it @fnjy„s ajimo scnrt ile pusc`s nt nl fy

enr`mtnbl. ‚O``p nt,‖ c` siys, stirnlh it tc` diarnm jno` nt„s pr`-

mnbus. N wne`l fy `y`s ile tio` i st`p aimo.

‚Aut nt„s lbt fnl`,‖ N siy qun`tjy. ‚Nt a`jblhè tb ybureiuhct`r.‖ ]bf`tnf`s pir`lts a`mbf` mbldusè, ile pirt bd

fy kba ns tb o``p tc`f hrbuleè nl rìjnty. Firtci snts bl tc`

mbumc, stirnlh tbwire tc` wnlebw wntc i mijfè `xpr`ssnbl,

aut N wbrry tcit Ijil ns civnlh il `fbtnblij arìoebwl.

‚^bu„r` rnhct,‖ c` siys siejy. ‚Aut @fnjy nsl„t mbfnlh cbf`.‖

C` cbjes up tc` scnrt. ‚Nd tcns ns stnjj a`nlh wbrl, nl i wiy, c`r

spnrnt wnjj a` but tc`r`. ]c „̀jj stnjj a` pirt bd tc` wbrje.‖


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Uc` Q@F@E^ 8

‚N rìjjy scbujel„t,‖ N siy, ijtcbuhc nd N„f cbl`st, tcit

U-scnrt wis fy divbrnt` pirt bd tcns issnhlf`lt. Aut w`„r` lbt

suppbsè tb o``p irtndimts bd tc` eìe. Nt bp`ls up tc` pbssn-

anjnty bd jiwsunts ihinlst tc` `ltnr` hrn`d e`pirtf`lt, mjinfs bd

ulprbd`ssnblijnsf.

‚Wjìs`,‖ c` furfurs. ‚N tcnlo sc` wbuje civ` rìjjy

jnoè ybu.‖

Nt„s kust i scnrt, N tcnlo. Lb bl`„s `v`r a``l dnrè bv`r i scnrt. N

r`jumtiltjy tio` tc` diarnm drbf cns cile, ile Ijil„s dim` twnstsnl i djisc bd pinl. Nfpujsnv`jy, N jìl nl ile onss cns mc`ò.

‚@fnjy wis i jumoy hnrj,‖ N wcnsp`r mjbs` tb cns ìr. Ile

tc`l, wntcbut wintnlh tb s`` cns ̀ xpr`ssnbl, N turl ile wijo but

bd @fnjy Wnllimj`„s cbus`.

Uc` lnhct inr ns cìvy wntc fbnstur` is N st`p bltb tc` wbbe`l

sjits bd tc` drblt pbrmc? mbbj rinly wnle ajbws ihinlst fy dim`.

Uc` cìejnhcts bd i mir piroè ebwl tc` rbie djnmo bl, ile

fy fusmj`s r`jix. N„f hjie N wbl„t a` cilhnlh irbule dbr i

rne`? Iirbl usuijjy sumos it a`nlh bl tnf`. N rìmc nltb fy cinr

ile a`hnl tb r`fbv` tc` `xt`lsnbls, ulmjnppnlh tc`f ile tc`lscbvnlh tc`f nltb tc` aih bl fy scbuje`r, wc`r` N studdè tc`

Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s U-scnrt.

Uc` mir pujjs up, ile N cbje fy aimopimo bv`r fy cìe tb

prbt`mt fys`jd drbf tc` rinl. N tcrbw bl` fbr` hjilm` tbwire

tc` cbus`, hjie l`ntc`r pir`lt ns jbbonlh but tc` wnlebw. N cit`

tb arìo tc` njjusnbl dbr tc`f? nt„s jno` s``nlh i tìmc`r it tc` hrb-

m`ry stbr` br i tc`f`-piro mcirimt`r wntcbut nts bv`rsnz` cìe.


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3 ]uzill` ^bulh

N bp`l tc` mir ebbr ile erbp bltb tc` piss`lh`r sìt bd i

scnly ajimo Mienjjim. Nt r`òs bd jìtc`r ile mbmblut inr dr`sc-

`l`r. N turl sne`wiys, jndtnlh fy `yàrbws tc` fnlut` N tio` nl

Iirbl„s ippìrilm`. N pr`t`le tb mc`mo fy lbl`xnst`lt witmc.

‚Ile wcb ir` ybu suppbsè tb a`2‖ N iso.

Iirbl sfnj`s. ‚N„f f` ihinl,‖ c` siys. ‚Nt wis i jblh ernv`.

N enel„t civ` tnf` tb mcilh` mjbtc`s.‖

Ucns wis bl` bd tcbs` rir` fbf`lts wc`r` Iirbl ile N w`r`

bl issnhlf`lt it tc` sif` tnf`―i fbstjy ivbneè mbldjnmt. Nt wis prbaiajy i hbbe tcnlh tcit N wis rullnlh jit` tblnhct. N

smil fy drn`le„s butdnt, cbjenlh aimo tc` jiuhc wintnlh nl fy

hut. C`„s wìrnlh i eiro arbwl mbreurby kimo`t wntc i strnpè

auttbl-ebwl scnrt ule`rlìtc. Ijtcbuhc Iirbl„s air`jy lnl`-

t``l, c`„s er`ssè jno` il `nhcty-yìr-bje prbd`ssbr. ]`lsnlh fy

nfp`lenlh rìmtnbl, c` st`ps bl tc` his pèij ile sp`ès us

ebwl tc` str``t.

‚Uw`lty-tcr``-yìr-bje jiw stue`lt,‖ c` `xpjinls, turlnlh

up tc` vbjuf` bl tc` st`r`b. ‚Aut cns rìj jbv` wis fitc.‖ C`

scbbts f` i pbnltè jbbo is nd nt sufs up cns issnhlf`lt mbf-

pj`t`jy. ‚Uc` mbuls`jbrs ir` rìjjy puscnlh fy ih`, rnhct2‖ cìsos. ‚Fust a` tcns sw``t aìre.‖ C` strbo`s cns dimnij cinr ile

N smrulmc up fy lbs`.

‚Hrbss,‖ N siy. ‚^bu„r` jumoy Br`hbl m`jàrit`s nts dimnij

cinr? btc`rwns` ybu„e a` but bd wbro.‖ Iirbl„s sfbbtc, eiro

sonl ensippìrs `v`ry Lb ]civ` Lbv`fa`r, aut tcit `leè dnv`

fbltcs ihb. N„f pirtl`rs wntc i ]isquitmc. ‚Xc`l ir` ybu h`t-

tnlh rne bd tcit tcnlh2‖ N iso.


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Uc` Q@F@E^ >

‚Pf, l`v`r,‖ c` siys, jno` nt„s tc` bavnbus ilsw`r. ‚N„f jbbo-

nlh dnl`, hnrj.‖

N jiuhc ile djnp ebwl tc` piss`lh`r-sne` fnrrbr. Uc` jnhct

mjnmos bl, cirsc bl fy cìvy fioùp. N mbfa fy dnlh`rs

tcrbuhc fy stnjj-rè scbuje`r-j`lhtc striles. @fnjy„s cinr wis

rnenmujbusjy jblh, sb N cie tb wìr ntmcy `xt`lsnbls.

‚Ubb aie,‖ Iirbl siys, fbtnblnlh tb fy r`dj`mtnbl. ‚N jnoè

ybur cinr jblh.‖

‚Ile N jno` tcit sp`mnij ajiz`r. b̂u sur` ybu mil„t o``p nt2‖‚Wbnlt fie`,‖ c` mblmè`s. X`„r` qun`t dbr i fbf`lt ultnj

Iirbl mjìrs cns tcrbit. ‚]b cbw wis nt2‖ c` isos nl i tc`ripnst„s

vbnm`, `v`l tcbuhc c` olbws N cit` tijonlh iabut fy issnhl-

f`lts. ‚^bu w`r` sup`r vihu` bl tc` pcbl`,‖ c` iees. ‚N wis

h`ttnlh wbrrnè.‖

‚Nt wis tc` sif`,‖ N ilsw`r. ‚Kust jno` ijwiys.‖

‚Xis nt tc` fbf2‖

‚ `̂ic,‖ N t`jj cnf, ile jbbo but tc` piss`lh`r wnlebw. ‚]ur-

vnvbr„s hunjt. Uc`r` wis i mir immne`lt? tc` fbtc`r wis ernvnlh.

Idt`r irrnvnlh it tc` cbspntij, tc` fbf ril drbf rbbf tb rbbf,

sìrmcnlh dbr c`r eiuhct`r. Aut sc` wis EBI.‖ N swijjbw cire,aurynlh tc` `fbtnbls tcit tcrìt`l tb scio` fy vbnm`. ‚Ijj tc`

fbtc`r wiltè wis tb ipbjbhnz` dbr jbsnlh mbltrbj bd tc` mir,‖ N

mbltnlu`. ‚A`h c`r eiuhct`r dbr dbrhnv`l`ss. Ù jj c`r cbw fumc

sc` jbvè c`r. Aut sc` l`v`r hbt tc` mcilm`. ]c` enel„t `v`l h`t

tb siy hbbe-ay`. Firtci cie i cire tnf` imm`ptnlh tcit.‖

‚Firtci2‖ Iirbl r`pìts, ile N d``j cnf jbbo it f`. ‚^bu

twb bl i dnrst-lif` aisns2‖


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97 ]uzill` ^bulh

‚Lb,‖ N siy. ‚Aut N„f lbt mijjnlh c`r Fbf ilyfbr`, ile nt

s``fs mbje tb mijj c`r Frs. Wnllimj`.‖ Xc`l N turl tb Iirbl,

c` jbbos ebuatduj. ‚Xcit2‖ N iso. ‚Uc` wbfil wiscè fy

ule`rwìr. Nt„s lbt jno` w`„r` strilh`rs.‖

‚]``, tcit„s tc` tcnlh,‖ c` siys, cbjenlh up cns dnlh`r. ‚^bu

ir` strilh`rs. ^bu w`r` t`fpbrirnjy pjiynlh tc` rbj` bd c`r

e`mìsè eiuhct`r, aut ay lb fìls ir` ybu drn`les. Ebl„t ajur

tc` jnl`s, Yunll.‖

‚N olbw cbw tb eb fy kba,‖ N ilsw`r ensfnssnv`jy. Fy cìrtaìts dist`r.

Ijtcbuhc ijj mjbs`rs tio` bl tc` p`rsblijnty bd tc` eìe p`r-

sbl, N„f tc` bljy bl` wcb nlt`rlijnz`s nt, tcnlos jno` tc`f. Nt

fio`s f` fbr` iutc`ltnm, ile cbl`stjy, nt„s wcy N„f tc` a`st.

‚Ebl„t a` kuehy,‖ N t`jj Iirbl. ‚^bu civ` ybur prbm`ss? N civ`

fnl`. N„f mbfpj`t`jy e`timcè wc`l nt„s bv`r.‖

Iirbl mcumoj`s. ‚ b̂u„r` e`timcè2‖ c` isos. ‚Uc`l wcy eb

ybu o``p sbuv`lnrs2‖

‚N eb lbt,‖ N r`spble, cìt mriwjnlh bltb fy mc`òs.

‚N a`t ybu civ` fbr` tcil cinr `xt`lsnbls nl tcit aih.‖

N jbbo ebwl tb s`` tc` ̀ eh` bd tc` U-scnrt p`ònlh but. ‚Lbtdinr,‖ N siy. ‚Uc` eie hiv` tcit tb f`. Nt eb`sl„t mbult.‖

‚Ile tc` ìrrnlhs drbf ]usil A`jj2 Uc` djiscy y`t mjiscy

a`jt drbf Iuer`y Xcitsc`rlif`2 Iefnt nt. b̂u„r` i jnd` oj`ptb.

b̂u o``p pn`m`s bd tc`f jno` sbf` wcimoè-but s`rnij onjj`r.‖

N jiuhc. ‚Nt„s lbtcnlh jno` tcit.‖

Iirbl cufs but cns ensihr``f`lt ile tio`s i turl bltb

tc` dr``wiy. Nt„jj a` it jìst dbrty-dnv` fnlut`s ultnj w`„r` aimo


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Uc` Q@F@E^ 99

nl Mbrvijjns. N cit` tc` iwiy issnhlf`lts, aut bur tbwl ns dinrjy

sfijj, ile w` ebl„t civ` lìrjy is fily eìtcs is @uh`l` br

Wbrtjile. Aut a`nlh iwiy mil f`ss wntc ybur cìe. Lbtcnlh„s

difnjnir―lbt tc` pjim`s br tc` p`bpj`. I p`rsbl mbuje dbrh`t

wcb tc`y rìjjy ir` nl i sntuitnbl jno` tcit. Nt„s cnhc rnso, ile tc`

r`turl ns ijwiys fbr` enddnmujt idt`r a`nlh mut bdd mbfpj`t`jy.

Aut nt„s bur kba.

Iirbl Qnbs ile N ir` mjbs`rs―i r`fèy dbr hrn`d-strnmo`l

difnjn`s. X` c`jp mjn`lts wcb ir` `xp`rn`lmnlh syfptbfs bdmbfpjnmitè hrn`d tcrbuhc il `xtr`f` f`tcbe bd rbj`-pjiynlh

tc`ripy. Xc`l i difnjy br p`rsbl `xp`rn`lm`s jbss―tc` onle

bd jbss tc`y kust mil„t h`t bv`r, tc` onle tcit ìts iwiy it tc`nr

silnty―hrn`d mbuls`jbrs fio` i r`mbff`leitnbl. Dbr il

ulensmjbsè suf bd fbl`y, mjn`lts ir` hnv`l i mjbs`r tb pjiy

tc` pirt bd i eìe p`rsbl ile prbvne` tc`f tc` fumc-l`èè

mjbsur` tc`y e`snr`.

It tcns pbnlt N mil a`mbf` ilybl` sb jblh is tc`y„r` i wcnt`

d`fij` a`tw``l tc` ih`s bd dndt``l ile tw`lty. N„f lbt il `ximt

mbpy, bd mburs`, aut N wìr tc`nr mjbtc`s ile mcilh` fy cinr ile

`y` mbjbr. N stuey tc`f tcrbuhc pnmtur`s ile vne`bs, ile sbblN mil imt jno` tc`f, sf`jj jno` tc`f, a` tc`f dbr ijj nlt`lts ile

purpbs`s. Ile wc`l i difnjy ns cizy wntc hrn`d, tc`y t`le tb

imm`pt f` rìenjy.

N stiy wntc tc`f dbr i d`w eiys, aut l`v`r fbr` tcil i

w`ò. Nl tcit tnf`, fy jbvè bl`s h`t tb siy `v`rytcnlh tc`y

l`èè tb aut l`v`r hbt tc` mcilm` tb, h`t tb cìr wcit`v`r

tc`y„v` tbje tc` mbuls`jbrs tc`y l`èè tb cìr. N mil a` tc`


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91 ]uzill` ^bulh

p`rd`mt eiuhct`r. N mil hnv` tc`f mjbsur` sb tc`y mil cìj.

N„f sivnlh jnv`s―`v`l nd sbf`tnf`s nt„s cire tb r`f`fa`r

wcnmc bl` ns fnl`.

‚]b wcit civ` N fnssè2‖ N iso Iirbl. Xc`l c` mijjè f`

ìrjn`r tb s`t up fy `xtrimtnbl, c` trnè tb tijo, tb r`mbll`mt

f` tb tc` butsne` wbrje. Aut N wis wntc tc` difnjy wc`l fy

pcbl` auzzè, sb N dè Iirbl sbf` aujjscnt ̀ xmus` tb h`t bdd tc`

jnl`. Lbw N„f e`sp`rit` dbr i r`fnle`r bd fy rìj jnd`. N r`st fy

t`fpj` bl tc` cìer`st ile witmc cnf.‚Lbt fumc.‖ C` scruhs. ‚Eìmbl„s a``l t`xtnlh f` lbl-

stbp. ]iys ybu„r` lbt ilsw`rnlh ybur pcbl`.‖

‚X`jj, c`„s lbt suppbsè tb mbltimt f`, ns c`2‖ N pbnlt but.

Bur hune`jnl`s stit` tcit w` bljy mblsbrt wntc bur pirtl`rs br

bur ievnsbrs wcnj` bl issnhlf`lt―nt o``ps us drbf arìonlh

mcirimt`r. Aut tc` dimt ns, N mbuje civ` r`spbleè tb Eìmbl„s

t`xts. N kust enel„t wilt tb.

Fy ̀ y`s stirt tb stnlh ile N mc`mo irbule tc` drblt sìt ile

dnle i aih bd bp`l trinj fnx studdè nltb tc` mutbut a`jbw tc`

st`r`b? sijty-jbbonlh pìluts civ` spnjjè nltb tc` mup cbje`r.

Fy ditc`r wnjj onjj Iirbl dbr arnlhnlh tcbs` nl c`r`. Ile dbrenrtynlh up cns Mienjjim. X` ijwiys us` tc` sif` mir dbr `xtrim-

tnbls. Nt s`rv`s is i r`fnle`r bd bur rìj jnd`, sbf`tcnlh difnjnir

tb arnlh us cbf`.

N cno` fy aimopimo bltb fy jip ile stirt ruffihnlh

tcrbuhc ultnj N dnle tc` mis` dbr fy mbjbrè mbltimts. Ijtcbuhc

N„f lbt eìtcjy ijj`rhnm tb luts, tc`y nrrntit` fy `y`s ile fio`

fy tcrbit aurl. Iirbl„s usuijjy pr`tty hbbe iabut lbt ìtnlh


13/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 9=

tc`f irbule f`. N hu`ss c` dbrhbt tcns tnf`―wcnmc ns ule`r-

stileiaj`. Issnhlf`lts t`le tb jìv` us mbldusè. It jìst dbr

i wcnj`.

‚N tcnlo Eìmbl„s wbrrnè ybu„jj rul iwiy wntcbut t`jjnlh

cnf,‖ Iirbl mbltnlu`s. ‚Nt fio`s cnf mrizy.‖

‚Eìmbl l`v`r wbrrn`s iabut ilytcnlh,‖ N mbrr`mt, r`stnlh

fy nle`x dnlh`r bl fy pupnj ultnj N d``j tc` mbltimt mjnlh tb

nt. ‚Ile N ebl„t olbw wcy c`„s isonlh ybu. Nd N pjillè tb rul

iwiy, ybu wbujel„t olbw `ntc`r.‖ N r`fbv` tc` dnjf ile pjim` ntaimo nlsne` tc` mis` a`dbr` wbronlh bl tc` btc`r `y`.

‚^ìc, w`jj, c` wbrrn`s iabut ybu,‖ Iirbl futt`rs, mjnmonlh

tc` wnlescn`je wnp`rs bdd lbw tcit tc` rinl cis ìsè up. ‚Ile

wc`tc`r ybu iefnt nt br lbt,‖ c` iees, ‚ybu wbrry iabut cns iss

ijj tc` tnf` tbb.‖

‚X`„r` drn`les,‖ N r`fnle cnf, r`jnvnlh tc` mblv`rsitnbl

w`„v` cie i ebz`l tnf`s. ‚Kust v`ry hbbe drn`les.‖

‚Xcit`v`r, Yunll,‖ c` siys. ‚^bu„r` cire-mbr` ile c`„s

aieiss. N h`t nt. b̂u„r` abtc tbb tbuhc dbr jbv`.‖

‚]cut up.‖ N jiuhc. ‚^bu„r` kust fie w` h`t ijblh a`tt`r

tcil ybu ile ybur hnrjdrn`le.‖‚Eifl rnhct,‖ Iirbl siys wntc i e`dnilt sfnro. ‚Nt inl„t

mbbj. ^bu twb―‖

‚]tbbbbbp,‖ N wcnl`, muttnlh cnf bdd. ‚Mcilh` tc` sua-

k`mt. Eìmbl ile N ir` arbo`l up. @le bd stbry.‖ N studd fy

mbltimts mis` aimo nltb fy aih ile erbp nt ebwl ay fy d``t.

Uc` triddnm cis dieè drbf tc` dr``wiy, jìvnlh tc` eiro rbie

`fpty irbule us.


14/97

95 ]uzill` ^bulh

‚N„f lbt siynlh ybu scbuje cit` ìmc btc`r,‖ Iirbl mbltnl-

u`s. ‚Aut ybu scbujel„t wilt tb abl` `v`ry tnf` ybu s`` cnf

`ntc`r.‖

‚^bu civ` s`rnbus prbaj`fs, ybu olbw tcit, rnhct2‖

‚Ff-cff,‖ c` siys, lbeenlh ensfnssnv`jy. ‚^ìc, N„f tc`

bl` wntc prbaj`fs.‖ C` wcnstj`s but i jbw sbule bd syfpitcy,

jbbonlh sne`wiys it f`. ‚^bu„v` abtc hbt nt aie,‖ c` iees.

‚Lb,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚X`„r` abtc a`tt`r bdd. Q`fnle Eìmbl

bd tcit l`xt tnf` c`„s mc`monlh up bl f`.‖ Iirbl smbdds ileswìrs c`„s stiynlh but bd nt. C` wbl„t, bd mburs`. C` tcnlos

w`„r` stnjj pnlnlh dbr ìmc btc`r. Ile . . . c` fiy lbt a`

`ltnr`jy wrblh. Aut Eìmbl ile N civ` i v`ry pjitblnm ule`r-

stilenlh.

Eìmbl Citmc`r ns fy ̀ x-abydrn`le turlè a`st drn`le, aut

fbr` nfpbrtilt, c` usè tb a` i mjbs`r. C` h`ts nt. H`ts f`.

Eìmbl wis fy pirtl`r a`dbr` Iirbl, ijfbst tcr`` yìrs sne`

ay sne` ultnj c` qunt wbronlh dbr fy eie `nhct fbltcs ihb.

C` qunt f` tc` sif` eiy. Uc` arìoup fiy civ` wr`moè f`

i jnttj`. Br i jbt. Eìmbl ile N cie scirè `v`rytcnlh, cie i

pbjnmy bd tbtij cbl`sty, wcnmc nsl„t `ximtjy ìsy dbr p`bpj` nlbur jnl` bd wbro.

N ciel„t `v`l olbwl c`„e `leè cns mbltrimt wntc tc` hrn`d

e`pirtf`lt wc`l c` tbje f` w` w`r` bv`r, sine c`„e fbvè

bl. N issufè c` fìlt wntc ilbtc`r hnrj, sb w` enel„t spìo

dbr bv`r i fbltc. N„e a``l ajnlesneè, a`triyè. Bljy tcnlh

j`dt dbr f` wis mjbsur`, ile N wis eifl hbbe it nt. N iasbraè

fbr` bd fy issnhlf`lts„ jnv`s, tc`nr difnjn`s„ jbv`. N ràunjt fy


15/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 90

s`jd-`st``f wntc tc`nr c`jp, tc`nr f`fbrn`s. Uc`l fy ditc`r

issnhlè Iirbl is fy l`w pirtl`r.

Uc` l`xt eiy, Eìmbl scbwè up it fy drblt ebbr, siy-

nlh cbw sbrry c` wis. ]iynlh cbw e`sp`rit`jy c` fnssè f`.

N a`jn`vè cnf. N ijwiys a`jn`v` cnf. Aut `v`ry tnf` w` h`t

mjbs`―tc` v`ry fnlut` N dijj dbr cnf ihinl―Eìmbl muts f`

bdd, aimos iwiy, ile jìv`s f` arbo`lcìrtè ay tc` ias`lm` bd

cns idd`mtnbl. Xc`tc`r nt„s cns trinlnlh br cns liturij enspbsn-

tnbl, Eìmbl ns mcirfnlh. Uc` onle bd mcirfnlh tcit fio`sybu d``j jno` ybu„r` tc` bljy p`rsbl nl tc` wbrje wcb fitt`rs.

Pltnj ybu ebl„t ilyfbr`.

N„f tnrè bd tc` pusc ile pujj tcit mbltnlu`s tb mrimo ile

cìj bv`r tc` sif` smir. N tbje Eìmbl tcit N wis ebl` j`ttnlh

fys`jd a` vujl`riaj` tb cnf, tcit c` wis runlnlh f`. Uc`

tcbuhct s``fè tb e`vistit` cnf. ]b Eìmbl ile N ihr`è lbt

tb h`t aimo tbh`tc`r, aut imolbwjèhè tcit w` mbujel„t stiy

iwiy drbf ìmc btc`r `ntc`r. A`st drn`les ns tc` mbfprbfns`. Nt

j`ts us hb tb tc` v`ry èh` bd bur wilt wntcbut imtuijjy hbnlh

bv`r. Ile tcit wbros dbr us. X`„r` tbtijjy smr`wè up tcit wiy.

Drbf tc` m`lt`r mblsbj` Iirbl„s pcbl` vnarit`s nl tc` mupcbje`r. C` qunmojy hrias nt a`dbr` N eb, ile r`sts nt ihinlst tc`

wc``j wcnj` c` rìes tc` t`xt. Idt`r i fbf`lt c` mjnmos bdd tc`

smr``l ile erbps cns pcbl` aimo nltb tc` mup cbje`r. ‚Fyri

siys c`jjb,‖ c` siys, hjilmnlh bv`r. ‚]c`„s sup`r `xmntè dbr ybu

tb a` aimo.‖

‚N„f sur`,‖ N siy, djiscnlh cnf il ifusè sfnj`. Iirbl„s hnrj-

drn`le ns air`jy dnv` d``t tijj, wntc wne` eb`jno` `y`s ile i rè-cbt


16/97

94 ]uzill` ^bulh

t`fp`r. ]c` usè tb cit` f`―wcnmc, ule`r lbrfij mnrmufstilm`s,

mbuje a` ule`rstileiaj`. N sp`le i jbt bd tnf` wntc c`r abydrn`le.

X „̀r` bv`r nt lbw, ile tc` ̀ ltnr̀ sntuitnbl a`mif` i rullnlh kbo`

a`tw``l f` ile Iirbl. Ile ijtcbuhc Fyri fnhct stnjj cit` f`

i jnttj` , sc`„s bl` bd fy mjbs`st drn`les. Aut `v`rytcnlh wnjj mcilh`

sbbl. Ucns ns Iirbl„s jist fbltc is i mjbs`r―cns mbltrimt `les nl

dbur w`òs. Idt`r tcit, c` ile Fyri ir` hbnlh tb rul bdd ile jnv`

sbf` e`rilhè jnd` nl bl` bd tc` Eiobtis.

‚Ily mcilm` N mil tijo ybu nltb erbppnlh f` bdd it cbf`dnrst2‖ N iso Iirbl nl i snmojy sw``t vbnm`. ‚N„v` a``l erìfnlh

iabut fy aè dbr tc` `ltnr` w`ò`le. @fnjy cie i dutbl.‖

Iirbl wcnstj`s nl syfpitcy. ‚]bules tbuhc, Yunll. Aut N

ijrìey mijjè Firn` tb j`t c`r olbw w`„r` bl bur wiy.‖ C` sfnj`s.

‚Ile ybu olbw cbw fumc sc` jbv`s jit`-lnhct eàrn`dnlhs.‖

Dijs`. Firn` iasbjut`jy cit`s wc`l w` mbf` ay idt`r eiro.

N `xcij`, erìenlh bur l`xt stbp. N kust wilt tb hb cbf`,

t`jj fy eie hbbe lnhct, ile tc`l mrisc nl fy aè. Pldbrtu-

lit`jy, lbl` bd tcit mil cipp`l ultnj w` r`hnst`r bur mjbsur`

ile mbld`ss bur snls. Bur ievnsbr, Firn`, cis tb nlt`rvn`w us

a`dbr` w`„r` ijjbwè tb r`turl tb bur r`hujir jnv`s. Uc`r` ir`prbmèur`s nl pjim` tb fio` sur` w` ebl„t tio` ily hrn`d cbf`

wntc us, tio` cbf` tc` siel`ss. Nt„s tc` bje siynlh; fns`ry jbv`s

mbfpily. ^ìc, w`jj, hrn`d mil a` mbltihnbus.


17/97

Mcipt`r Uwb

UC@ EBBQ UB UC@ DNDUC-]UBQ^ XIJO-PW IWIQU-

f`lt ns ijwiys stumo, ile Iirbl cis tb rif cns scbuje`r ihinlst

nt tb h`t nt bp`l. C` stufaj`s nl, turlnlh aimo tb djisc f` i sfnj`.

]b strblh, N fbutc, fionlh cnf jiuhc. N dbjjbw cnf nlsne`,

ile tc`l mjbs` ile jbmo tc` ebbr. N pius` tb jbbo irbule. N

civ`l„t a``l tb Firn`„s cbus` nl it jìst i fbltc, aut nt„s kust is

mrifpè is N r`f`fa`r. @ximtjy tc` sif`. Xijj-tb-wijj iltnqu`durlntur`, brlit` mcinrs ile tcnl-j`hhè tiaj`s. Jiy`rs bd nlm`ls`

cilh nl tc` inr? rè tip`strn`s ir` timoè bv`r tc` wnlebw, mist-

nlh tc` rbbf nl sbdt jnhct drbf tc` jifps. Uc` pjim` ns sciaay

mcnm―fumc jno` nts t`lilt.

‚^bu„r` jit`,‖ i rispy vbnm` mijjs drbf tc` ontmc`l. N mitmc

snhct bd Firn`„s air` scbuje`r ile tcnl jblh arines is sc` bp`ls

ile mjbs`s ontmc`l mianl`ts nl sìrmc bd sbf`tcnlh.


18/97

93 ]uzill` ^bulh

‚Yunljil wis a`nlh lnm` ihinl ay hnvnlh tc`f `xtri tnf`,‖

Iirbl mijjs. C` erbps bltb tc` wbrl v`jv`t sbdi ile onmos bdd

cns scb`s. N smbwj it cnf dbr rittnlh f` but sb qunmojy, ile

r`fbv` fy slìo`rs a`dbr` Firn` mil y`jj it f` dbr ensr`sp`mt-

nlh c`r ipirtf`lt. ‚]c`„s tbb onlecìrtè,‖ Iirbl iees. ‚U`jj

Yunll sc`„s tbb onlecìrtè.‖ C` rbjjs cns cìe tbwire tc`

ontmc`l, ile Firn` pbo`s but drbf a`cnle tc` mianl`t ebbr.

‚]tbp a`nlh sb lnm`,‖ Firn` smbjes, ile tc`l hb`s aimo tb

wcit sc` wis ebnlh.‚]``.‖ Iirbl cbjes up cns dnlh`r tb f` nl wirlnlh a`dbr`

wbronlh cns irfs but bd tc` sj``v`s bd cns ajiz`r. C` mir`dujjy

dbjes tc` diarnm bv`r tc` aimo bd tc` mbumc.

N rbjj fy `y`s. ‚N wis ebnlh fy kba,‖ N mjirndy, snttnlh bl tc`

pinltè mcinr lìr tc` ebbr. ‚Mc`mo wntc tc` Wnllimj`s―N„f

sur` N„jj h`t i hjbwnlh r`vn`w.‖

‚Ebl„t wbrry,‖ Firn` siys, mbfnlh but bd tc` ontmc`l, mir-

rynlh i triy. ‚X` ijwiys mc`mo.‖ ]c` sfnj`s it f` ile tc`l s`ts

tc` triy bl tc` mbdd`` tiaj`. Uc`r`„s i sfijj tìpbt? tc` sf`jj

bd fnlt widts up drbf tc` mups. Fy stbfimc turls. Ucit„s lbt

r`hujir tì―lbt c`r`. Nt„s i fènmnlij mbmotinj tcit wnjj mbfp`jf` tb t`jj tc` trutc blm` N ernlo nt. Jumonjy, N civ` lbtcnlh tb

cne`.

Firn` ciles Iirbl i mup. ‚Hu`ss N„f dnrst,‖ c` furfurs,

ile hujps cns ernlo qunmojy. C` sumos nl i arìtc tb mbbj ebwl

cns fbutc. ‚Listy,‖ c` siys wntc i scnv`r, ile s`ts tc` mup bl

tc` tiaj`.

‚N„jj h`t tc` pip`rwbro,‖ Firn` illbulm`s. ]c` wijos


19/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 9>

tbwire tc` cbf` bddnm`, c`r iloj`ts kilhjnlh iabv` c`r air`

d``t, c`r jblh arines mjnmonlh is tc`y swnsc imrbss c`r aimo.

Firn` E`vbrbux ns nl c`r jit` tcnrtn`s wntc eiro arbwl sonl,

pn`rmnlh ajimo `y`s, ile il `ddbrtj`ss aìuty tcit ijjbws strilh-

`rs tb trust c`r. ]c`„s a``l fy ievnsbr snlm` tc` a`hnllnlh. N mil

stnjj r`f`fa`r a`nlh i jnttj` hnrj bl c`r jip, t`jjnlh c`r iabut

Airairi Qnmcires―i lnl`-yìr-bje wcb mrimoè c`r soujj wcnj`

rnenlh c`r ano`. N snppè p`pp`rfnlt tì ile tbje Firn` cbw

sie nt fie` f` wc`l Airan`„s fbtc`r mrnè. N cie i cire tnfìekustnlh tb tc` hrn`d nl tc` a`hnllnlh.

Firn`„s i ant j`ss pitn`lt lbw, `sp`mnijjy wntc f`. ]c` ile

fy ditc`r civ` a``l it bees bv`r i mis` l`ntc`r wnjj tijo iabut.

N„f lbt sur` wc`l nt stirtè, aut nt„s mjìr Firn` ns bl tc` v`rh`

bd jìvnlh tc` e`pirtf`lt ijtbh`tc`r. N ebl„t olbw wcit tc`

mbuls`jbrs wnjj eb nd sc` eb`s.

Firn` r``f`rh`s i fbf`lt jit`r wntc dbje`rs ile i vbnm`

r`mbre`r. ]c` tio`s i spbt l`xt tb Iirbl bl tc` mbumc, djnppnlh

c`r cinr bv`r c`r scbuje`r a`dbr` sc` sbrts tcrbuhc tc` dnj` wntc

E@SU@Q Q@@E prnltè bl tc` tia.

N pnmo up fy wirf tìmup, swnrjnlh irbule tc` jnqune. N„flbt sur` N mbuje cit` tc` tist` bd fnlt ily fbr` tcil N ijrìey

eb. @j`v`l yìrs bd ernlonlh tcns studd wnjj eb tcit tb i p`rsbl.

N tio` i t`ltitnv` snp ile tc`l hih. Firn` hnv`s f` i enrty jbbo

jno` sc`„s bdd`leè, ile N cbje up tc` tì nl mc``rs a`dbr` ebwl-

nlh nt, hihhnlh ihinl.

Iirbl stirts r`mbultnlh cns scbrt tnf` is tc` enstnlhunscè

jiw stue`lt E`xt`r Q`è. Nt tbbo j`ss tcil tw`lty-dbur cburs


20/97

17 ]uzill` ^bulh

tb arnlh i p`rsbl„s `ltnr` jnd` tb i mjbs`. Xcnmc ns hbbe, N hu`ss.

Btc`rwns` Iirbl wbuje civ` a``l jit` pnmonlh f` up. Ihinl.

N ebl„t jnst`l tb tc` stbry―ijtcbuhc nt„s lbt i cuh` eìj nd N eb.

Cìrnlh cns `xp`rn`lm` wbl„t fio` f` sie, lbt jno` r``limtnlh

nt mil. Ucit„s wcy w`„r` c`r` wntc Firn`. Mjbs`rs ir`l„t ijjbwè

tb hb cbf` ultnj w` prbm`ss tc` hrn`d. X` tio` tcit aure`l drbf

tc` mjn`lts, c`jp tc`f cìj. Aut w` mil a`mbf` idd`mtè, tionlh

nt bl is bur bwl pinl ile sudd`rnlh. Bur `xtr`f` f`tcbe bd

tc`ripy nsl„t wntcbut nts rnsos. Uc` mbuls`jbrs ebl„t wilt tcittb cipp`l, sb w` tijo tb ievnsbrs. Hbe, sbf`tnf`s w` tijo sb

fumc N wilt tb mut but fy tblhu`.

N sfnj`, jìlnlh aimo nl tc` mcinr. Uc` tì fust ijrìey a`

wbronlh. @v`l fy tcbuhcts ir` cbl`st.

Iirbl„s vbnm` erbl`s bl, ile N mblt`fpjit` tc` ̀ v`lnlh, tc`

tist` bd p`pp`rfnlt tcnmo nl fy fbutc. Ucnlhs mbuje a` wbrs`,

N hu`ss. N mbuje imtuijjy a` @fnjy Wnllimj`.

Bljy m`rtinl onles bd p`bpj` mil a`mbf` mjbs`rs. Uc`r`

ir` murr`ltjy dndt``l bd us nl Br`hbl. Endd`r`lt ih`s, rim`s, ile

h`le`rs. @lbuhc tb mbv`r tc` e`fbhripcnm fbr` br j`ss. X`

w`r` ijj s`j`mtè ay tc` hrn`d mbuls`jbrs a`mius` w` civ` m`r-tinl trints; ieiptianjnty, fnfnmonlh sonjjs, ile i cìjtcy ebs`

bd e`timcf`lt. X` ebl„t d``j tc` sif` wiy btc`r p`bpj` eb―

ijfbst jno` w`„r` lufa. Br it jìst fbst bd us ir`. Xcnj` tc`

r`st bd tc` wbrje ns a`lt bl scirnlh tc`nr d``jnlhs, w` stuey

tc`f. X` jìrl tb mbpy a`civnbr pitt`rls, dimnij `xpr`ssnbls.

X` jìrl cbw tb a`mbf` btc`r p`bpj`.

Bv`r tc` jist mbupj` bd yìrs tc`r`„s a``l i sbmn`tij pusc tb


21/97


22/97

11 ]uzill` ^bulh

trnij ile `rrbr, mbuls`jbrs ensmbv`rè tc`y mbuje fio` dist`r

prbhr`ss wntc r``ltry nd w` enel„t jn` ijj tc` tnf`. Uc`y fie` i

pbjnmy mcilh`, ijt`rnlh tc` ̀ ltnr` syst`f bd ievns`f`lt nl bre`r

tb pr`v`lt fnstio`s, jno` us arnlhnlh cbf` tc` siel`ss w` w`r`

fìlt tb ijj`vnit`.

N cit` tcit tì. N ebl„t jno` a`nlh dbrmè tb eb ilytcnlh,

`v`l tb t`jj tc` trutc. Aut nt„s lbt jno` N civ` i mcbnm`. Fy mbl-

trimt nsl„t up dbr snx fbr` fbltcs.

‚]nt,‖ Firn` siys, pujjnlh but tc` dnj` wntc @fnjy Wnllimj`„slif` bl tc` tia. N fbv` tb tc` mbumc ile dim` c`r. ‚Cbw ir`

ybu d``jnlh2‖ Firn` isos mblv`rsitnblijjy.

‚@xciustè,‖ N r`spble. N put fy irf bv`r tc` aimo bd tc`

sbdi ile h`t mbfdbrtiaj`. Uc`r`„s lb t`jjnlh cbw jblh tcns wnjj

tio`. Firn` bp`ls tc` dnj` ile kbts sbf`tcnlh ebwl. ]c` r`s`ts

c`r r`mbre`r ile pjim`s nt bl tc` tiaj`.

‚Yunljil FmO``,‖ sc` illbulm`s dbr tc` r`mbre`r, ile

tc`l sfnj`s onlejy it f`. ‚Yunll,‖ sc` siys nl c`r tc`ripy

vbnm`. ‚U`jj f` iabut @fnjy Wnllimj`.‖

N durrbw fy arbw, mblt`fpjitnlh. ‚]c` wis qun`t, pbjnt`.

N rìe tcrbuhc c`r eniry tcr`` tnf`s, djnppè tcrbuhc pcbtbijaufs, ile stuenè c`r sbmnij fèni prbdnj`s. ]c` enel„t civ` i

abydrn`le, aut sc` cie il nlt`ls` mrusc bl Kirè Aitcfil. ]c`

l`v`r tbje cnf,‖ N siy. ‚]c` scbuje civ`, rnhct2‖ N iso. Firn`

cufs sbf`tcnlh lblmbffnttij, ile N mbltnlu`. ‚]c` wis wbr-

rnè c` wbujel„t jno` c`r aimo,‖ N siy. ‚Aut tc` eiy sc` enè, c`

dnlijjy tijoè tb c`r it tc` aiso`taijj hif`. ]c` wis sb `xmntè.

Bl tc` wiy cbf` sc` t`xtè c`r drn`le ile tbje c`r tc` `ltnr`


23/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 1=

mblv`rsitnbl. Aut sc` l`v`r fie` nt cbf`.‖ N jbbo ebwl nltb

fy jip, tìrs prnmonlh fy `y`s. ‚Nt wisl„t dinr. Nt wisl„t dinr tcit

@fnjy cie tb en` it snxt``l.‖

‚^bu„r` rnhct,‖ Firn` ihr``s. ‚Nt siys c`r` tcit c`r fbtc`r

a`mif` v`ry enstriuhct idt`r @fnjy„s eìtc. Uc` ditc`r cnrè us

a`mius` sc` cie a`mbf` ulstiaj`, `rritnm. Uc` mbuls`jbrs w`r`

v`ry mblm`rlè iabut c`r w`jj-a`nlh. Xcit ene ybu bas`rv`2‖

‚Cìrtarìo,‖ N furfur. ‚N siw i jbt bd cìrtarìo.‖

‚Ile cbw ene nt d``j2‖‚Nt wis i e``p, eiro cbjjbw nl fy mc`st. Nt d`jt jno` cbp`j`ss-

l`ss.‖ N jbbo up tb f``t Firn`„s `y`s. ‚N stirtè tb tcnlo tcit N

wis l`v`r hbnlh tb s`` fy pir`lts ihinl―c`r pir`lts,‖ N mbr-

r`mt. ‚N wis smirè. N enel„t wilt tb a` ijbl`. N enel„t wilt tb

en`.‖ Uìrs rbjj ebwl fy mc`òs is hrn`d ile jbss suaf`rh` f`.

‚Lbw N„jj a` ijbl` dbr`v`r.‖ N trnè tb o``p tc`s` d``jnlhs it aiy

wc`l N wis @fnjy, aut lbw N mil„t jn`. N mil„t cne` drbf fys`jd.

Firn` rìmc`s tb tio` fy cile, squ``znlh tb rìssur` f`.

‚ b̂u wnjj s`` ybur ditc`r tblnhct, Yunll. ̂ bu enel„t en`―@fnjy

Wnllimj` ene.‖

‚Nt mbuje civ` a``l f`,‖ N siy, scionlh fy cìe. ‚Uc`y ijjmbuje a` f`.‖

‚Lb,‖ sc` siys. ‚^bu„r` Yunljil FmO``. ^bu jnv` it 1700

]`l`mi Wjim` nl Mbrvijjns, Br`hbl. ^bu„r` s`v`lt``l ile ybu

ernv` i aìt-up bje Cblei tcit ybur ditc`r wbl„t r`pjim`.‖ ]c`

rìmc`s ile tbumc`s fy mc`ò tb eriw f` aimo nltb rìjnty. ‚Ile

ybu„r` ijnv`, Yunll,‖ sc` wcnsp`rs. ‚ b̂u„r` c`r`, ile ybu„r` ijnv`.‖

N j`t c`r wbres sbio nl, tcnlonlh iabut fy mrippy mir―tc`


24/97

15 ]uzill` ^bulh

mc`mo-`lhnl` jnhct tcit wbl„t scut bdd. Idt`r i fbf`lt N„f

rbbtè aimo nl pjim`. Aimo nl fy jnd`. N mjìr tc` tìrs ile hria

i tnssu` tb ajbw fy lbs`. Xc`l N„f mjìlè up, Firn` r`s`ttj`s

bl tc` mbumc.

‚Eb ybu wilt tb t`jj f` iabut tc` U-scnrt2‖ sc` isos.

Fy stbfimc erbps ile N scbbt i a`triyè jbbo tbwire tc`

aimo rbbf. ‚Iirbl tbje ybu2‖ N iso, ilhry tcit c`„s mijjè f`

but twnm` snlm` w`„v` a``l c`r`.

‚C` cie tb.‖Nt„s tru`. @v`l nd fy drn`le wiltè tb o``p i s`mr`t, c`

mbujel„t c`r`. ‚Xcy w`r` ybu isonlh iabut f` nl tc` dnrst

pjim`2‖ N e`file. ‚N ebl„t jno` a`nlh spnè bl, Firn`.‖

‚N tcbuhct w` tijoè iabut tcns,‖ sc` siys, nhlbrnlh fy

mbff`lt. ‚Uionlh tcnlhs―r`tinlnlh pbss`ssnbls bd tc` eìe.

Nt nsl„t cìjtcy ile nt„s ihinlst tc` ruj`s.‖

‚@fnjy„s eie hiv` f` tc` scnrt. N enel„t stìj nt.‖ Fy `fb-

tnbls ir` stirtnlh tb auaaj` up, aut lbt tc` siel`ss N d`jt ìrjn`r.

Ucns ns endd`r`lt―nt„s ilh`r, e`dnilm`.

‚N enel„t siy ybu ene,‖ Firn` mjirndn`s. ‚Aut wcy wbuje ybu

o``p @fnjy„s scnrt2 Eb`s nt cbje il `fbtnblij ittimcf`lt2‖Fy tcbuhcts swnrj is N dnhct tc` nfp`lenlh ̀ dd`mt bd tc` tì.

Iefnttnlh il `fbtnblij ittimcf`lt tb tc` difnjy mbuje s`le

f` strinhct nltb tc`ripy. Ucns ns wcy N cit` tijonlh iabut fy

d``jnlhs.

‚N kust rìjjy jnoè tc` scnrt,‖ N siy, r`jn`vè it tc` wbres.

Q`jn`vè . . . tcit N kust tbje i sfijj jn`. N ebl„t rìmt, `v`l

tcbuhc fy cìrt rim`s. Nt wisl„t i cuh` jn`―aut nt wis `visnv`.


25/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 10

Uc` trutc ns tcit `v`rytcnlh N o``p cis snhlndnmilm`, `v`l nd nt„s

bljy sjnhct. Ucit U-scnrt r`fnles f` bd fy eie, @fnjy„s eie,

ile cbw c` abuhct nt dbr f` bl fy anrtceiy twb yìrs ihb

a`mius` c` jbvè tc` Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s. X` civ` pnmtur`s bd us

sfnjnlh, irfs bv`r ̀ imc btc`r„s scbuje`rs. Uc`y fiy lbt a` fy

f`fbrn`s, aut N jno` tc`f. Ile N wilt tb o``p tc`f.

Firn` stuen`s f`, ile dbr i fbf`lt N tcnlo sc` mil t`jj

tcit N„v` sonrtè c`r qu`stnbl. N„f lbt sur` cbw N mbuje civ`,

tcbuhc. Xc`l sc`„s lbt jbbonlh, N hjilm` it tc` tìpbt, wbl-e`rnlh nd tc` ebs` wis jnhct`r. Br fiya` kust wcit wis nl fy

mup. Firn` wrnt`s i lbt` nl fy dnj` ile mjbs`s nt.

‚^bu„r` mjìrè tb r`turl cbf`,‖ sc` siys, ile hnv`s f` i

mjbsè-jnp sfnj`. ‚Aut ebl„t o``p ilytcnlh ̀ js`, Yunll. Nt fnhct

fio` tc` mbuls`jbrs tcnlo ybu„r` tbb `fbtnblij tb cilej` tc`

issnhlf`lts.‖

‚N„f i mbjecìrtè antmc, Firn`,‖ N siy. ‚Wrbfns`.‖

]c` mcumoj`s, ile pits fy ol`` a`dbr` stilenlh. ‚Bc,‖ sc`

iees. ‚Ile ebl„t a` tbb cire bl Iirbl. C` enel„t wilt tb t`jj

f` iabut tc` scnrt. Nt„s i l`w jnl` bd qu`stnblnlh ybur ditc`r

ieeè nl. Iirbl cie tb t`jj f` tc` trutc.‖‚Uc`l wcy enel„t ybu iso f` iabut cnf2‖ N siy, mbldusè.

‚A`mius` tc` qu`stnbls ir` bljy iabut ybu.‖ C`r `xpr`s-

snbl ns ulrìeiaj`, ulipprbimciaj`, ile tc`l Firn` spnls―c`r

arines swnlhnlh―ile wijos aimo tb c`r bddnm`.

Iirbl ile N ir` qun`t is w` h`t nltb tc` Mienjjim ile stirt

tbwire fy cbus`, wc`r` Iirbl„s mir ns piroè. Firn`„s wbres


26/97

14 ]uzill` ^bulh

mjbh up fy fnle, ile N wble`r wcy fy ditc`r wbuje iee nl

qu`stnbls iabut f`. Xcy c`„s mc`monlh up bl f`. N„f ijsb

mblm`rlè. Ijtcbuhc N enel„t jn`, N wisl„t mbfpj`t`jy cbl`st.

Ene Firn` . . . ene sc` eb sbf`tcnlh endd`r`lt tcns tnf`2 If N

endd`r`lt tcns tnf`2

‚N„f sbrry,‖ Iirbl siys nl i qun`t vbnm` drbf tc` ernv`r„s

sìt. C` eb`sl„t jbbo bv`r, aut c`„s riw―i jnttj` sc`jj-scbmoè

drbf cns eàrn`dnlh. ‚N enel„t wilt tb t`jj c`r.‖

‚Xcit ene sc` iso2‖C` swijjbws cire, tnhct`lnlh cns hrnp bl tc` st``rnlh wc``j.

‚X` w`lt tcrbuhc tc` `v`lts jno` usuij, aut it tc` `le sc`

isoè nd N lbtnmè ilytcnlh bee wc`l N pnmoè ybu up. N enel„t

olbw wcit sc` fìlt it dnrst, aut sc` isoè nd N tcbuhct ybu

w`r` hrbwnlh tbb ittimcè tb tc` mjn`lts. N . . . N tbje c`r iabut

tc` scnrt.‖ C` jbbos bv`r, cns eiro ̀ y`s fns`riaj`. ‚N enel„t fìl

tb, Yunll.‖

‚Nt„s dnl`,‖ N t`jj cnf, fbstjy tb ijj`vnit` sbf` bd cns str`ss.

‚]c` wisl„t `v`l fie.‖

Iirbl„s ̀ y`s lirrbw sjnhctjy a`dbr` c` turls aimo tb tc` rbie.

‚Ucit„s hbbe, N hu`ss.‖ C` pius`s. ‚Ene sc` iso iabut f`2‖‚Lbp`,‖ N siy. Cns fbutc djnlmc`s wntc i sfnj`, aut c`

qunmojy strinhct`ls nt. Iirbl eb`sl„t wilt ilytcnlh tb f`ss up

cns mbltrimt. Nl kust i d`w w`òs c`„jj civ` cns jufp-suf piy-

f`lt, `lbuhc tb stirt bv`r sbf`wc`r` `js`. C` cisl„t a``l i

mjbs`r dbr lìrjy is jblh is N civ`, aut tc`l ihinl, fy ditc`r ns

tc` cìe bd tc` e`pirtf`lt, sb N„v` hbtt`l ebuaj` tc` pr`ssur`

tb mbltnlu`. N„f kìjbus tcit Iirbl wnjj a` hbl` sbbl, jnvnlh


27/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 18

cns bwl jnd`. ]bf`tnf`s N wble`r nd N„jj `v`r civ` tcit, br nd fy

ditc`r wnjj dnle i wiy tb o``p `xt`lenlh fy mbltrimt.

Uc` typnmij mbltrimt ns dbr tcr`` yìrs„ tnf`, ijtcbuhc fily

mjbs`rs snhl bl dbr i s`mble t`rf. Qir`jy a`yble tcit, tcbuhc.

Nt„s lbt r`mbff`leè, a`mius` tc` str`ss puts i mjbs`r it rnso

dbr i wcbj` cbst bd prbaj`fs―jno` jbsnlh bl`s`jd mbfpj`t`jy.

N„f bl fy dburtc mbltrimt. @v`l lbw, N mbujel„t siy wcnmc bd

fy divbrnt` mcnjecbbe f`fbrn`s imtuijjy cipp`lè tb f` . Uc`

jnl`s ajur. Bmmisnblijjy, N jbbo tcrbuhc bje pcbtb ijaufs, auttc`r` ir` i d`w pnmtur`s tcit ebl„t dnt wntc fy f`fbrn`s, ile

vnm` v`rsi.

Bl` bd fy fbst mbldusnlh f`fbrn`s ns tcit bd fy

fbtc`r―c`r scnly eiro cinr ile wne` sfnj`, `v`l is sc` jiy

nl i cbspntij aè, bavnbusjy snmo. N wbuje mriwj up tc` wcnt`

sc``ts tb a` l`xt tb c`r, ile sc`„e rìe f` i stbry, t`jj f` sc`

jbvè f`, ile onss fy cinr.

Aut fy fbtc`r cie ajble cinr ile aju` `y`s. ]c` wis e`jn-

mit` ile pr`tty, ile tc`l sc` wis hbl`. ]c` enè nl i mir immn-

e`lt, ile N l`v`r siw c`r nl tc` cbspntij, l`v`r siw c`r idt`r

tcit eiy. N mil dnle lb pnmtur`s bd tc` btc`r wbfil drbf fyf`fbry, ile wc`l N iso fy ditc`r, c` nlsnsts N fust a` r`f`f-

a`rnlh il issnhlf`lt, `v`l tcbuhc c` mil„t pnlpbnlt `ximtjy

wcnmc bl`.

Ucit„s pirt bd fy prbaj`f―tc` jnv`s bd fy issnhlf`lts

aj`le tbh`tc`r idt`r i wcnj`, aj`le wntc fnl`. Ucit ulm`r-

tinlty ciults f` bl bmmisnbl, `sp`mnijjy wc`l N„f e``p nl fy

rbj` pjiynlh ile jblhnlh dbr i mbll`mtnbl. Uc`l ihinl, tc`y ijj


28/97

13 ]uzill` ^bulh

ciult f`, ijj tc` hnrjs N„v` pbrtriyè, sb N try lbt tb ew`jj bl

tc` rìjnty tbb fumc.

Fy fbst r`m`lt mbltrimt `xpnrè wc`l N wis dndt``l, aut

sbf`cbw fy ditc`r mblvnlmè tc`f (ile f`) tb snhl ilbtc`r

bl`. C`„s ijwiys jbhnmij, ile nt„s cire tb irhu` wntc cnf. Nt„s

`v`l cire`r tb ensippbnlt cnf. Nl tc` `le N„jj h`t dbur tnf`s

tc` fbl`y, pjus i ablus. C` siys N„jj a` iaj` tb piy dbr mbjj`h`

butrnhct, a` iaj` tb auy i cbus`. C` t`jjs f` N„jj a` s`t dbr jnd`.

Ijtcbuhc tcbs` tcnlhs sbule lnm` tb cnf, N tcnlo N„e ritc`r hbtb prbf br sbf`tcnlh drnvbjbus jno` tcit.

Mbrvijjns stnjj cis twb bp`l cnhc smcbbjs, aut N ebl„t itt`le

ilyfbr`. Mjbsur` o`pt f` iwiy tbb fumc. Bljnl` cnhc smcbbj

kust eb`sl„t civ` tc` sif` erifi. Uc` anhh`st smileij N„v` s``l

wis wc`l tc` s`rv`rs mriscè ile tc` tìmc`rs cie tb r`s`t bur

pisswbres. Eìmbl w`lt tb fy bje smcbbj ultnj c` erbppè

but. N l`v`r ule`rstbbe wcy c` wiltè tb qunt? N wbuje onjj tb

hb aimo tb r`hujir cnhc smcbbj.

Iirbl tio`s tc` `xnt dbr fy cbus`, ile N hrbil. N„f ilhry

iabut fy ditc`r mc`monlh bl f`, ile N ebl„t wilt tb scbw up

sb pnssè bdd. ‚Xilt tb swnlh ay Eìmbl„s2‖ N iso. Iirbl scio`scns cìe.

‚Fyri„s wintnlh up dbr f`. N mil erbp ybu tc`r`, tcbuhc.‖

‚Xcit iabut ybur mir2‖ N iso.

‚N„jj piro tc` Mieey ile cbp nl fy rne` a`dbr` ybur eie

mil `v`l jbbo but tc` wnlebw,‖ c` siys. ‚J`t cnf olbw tc`

o`ys wnjj a` nl tc` vnsbr.‖

N ihr``, ile s`ttj` aimo ihinlst tc` sìt wc`l Iirbl piss`s


29/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 1>

tc` turl dbr fy cbus`. Fy ditc`r ns prbaiajy it tc` ontmc`l

tiaj` wntc i mup bd mbdd`` sb c` wbl„t sj``p tcrbuhc fy irrnvij

cbf`, aut N ebl„t fnle fionlh cnf wint i jnttj` jblh`r. Ucit„s

wcit c` h`ts dbr spynlh bl f`. Lbw tcit tc` str`ss bd hbnlh

cbf` piss`s, N rìjnz` cbw nlmrènajy tnrè N if. Cbw erinlè.

Jno` fy sbuj ns wìrnlh tcnl.


30/97

Mcipt`r Ucr``

E@IMBL BXL] I JNUUJ@ MQIDU]FIL-]U^J@ CBP]@

mjbs` tb tc` mbjj`h`. C` `xntè cns mbltrimt `nhct fbltcs ihb,

aut c` stnjj hbt pine dbr cns dnrst tcr`` yìrs. C` h`ts lbtc-

nlh dbr tc` `xtri yìr c` put nl a`mius` c` arbo` tc` s`m-

ble mbltrimt. C` `leè up puttnlh tc` fbl`y ebwl bl i

cbf`, wcnmc wis wiy fbr` r`spblsnaj` bd cnf tcil ily bd

us `xp`mtè. C` ijsb erbppè but bd cnhc smcbbj ile hbt cnsH@E nlstìe. Eìmbl„s pir`lts enè wc`l c` wis i aiay, ile

fy ditc`r dbule cnf nl dbst`r mir`. Il ilhry dburt``l-yìr-

bje aby wcb c` tcbuhct wbuje fio` i p`rd`mt mjbs`r. Eìmbl

wis hbbe, tbb―ijfbst is hbbe is f`. Cns mcirnsfi eriws

p`bpj` nl, `v`l nd nt„s bljy i dimie`.

Iirbl erbps f` bdd, stnjj qun`t`r tcil usuij. N olbw c`„s

d``jnlh hunjty iabut turlnlh f` nl dbr tc` U-scnrt, aut N„f tbb


31/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ =9

tnrè tb mblvnlm` cnf N„f lbt fie iabut nt. N h`t but, siynlh N„jj

mijj cnf tbfbrrbw, ile tc`l witmc is c` ernv`s iwiy.

I cìeimc` cis stirtè, ile N rua fy `y`s wntc tc` c``js bd

fy pijfs ile tc`l mjnfa tc` drblt pbrmc bd Eìmbl„s cbus`.

N olbmo, fy aimopimo w`nhcnlh f` ebwl. N sjne` nt bltb bl`

scbuje`r. Ijtcbuhc N„v` bljy a``l hbl` i w`ò`le, N d``j jno` N

civ`l„t s``l Eìmbl nl fbltcs.

Nt„s i w`nre sne` `dd`mt bd r`turlnlh; Nt„s jno` N„f il imtbr nl

fy bwl jnd`. Jno` N„f lbt tc` rìj bl`. Nt tio`s iabut tw`lty-dbur cburs tb a`mbf` f` ihinl.

Uc` ebbr pirtjy bp`ls, ile Eìmbl r`sts cns cnp bl tc`

drif` ile jbbos f` up ile ebwl is nd c` cis lb neì wcb N if.

C`„s wìrnlh hriy swìtpilts wntc MBQTIJJN] PLNBL CNHC ]MCBBJ

prnltè up tc` j`h, cns cinr ijj iso`w. C`„s scnrtj`ss, wc`tc`r dbr

`dd`mt br dbr mbfdbrt N„f lbt sur`.

‚N wble`rè nd ybu w`r` mbfnlh ay,‖ c` siys dnlijjy, pusc-

nlh bp`l tc` ebbr wne`r tb nlvnt` f` nl. N tbumc cns dbrìrf

nl tcilos is N piss ile erbp fy aimopimo it tc` abttbf bd tc`

stinrmis`.

‚N ebl„t wilt tb hb cbf` y`t,‖ N siy, turlnlh tb cnf. ‚Fyditc`r„s a`nlh i enmo.‖

‚N„f sb surprnsè,‖ c` r`spbles ìsnjy.

Dbr tc` dnrst tnf` snlm` jìvnlh Firn`, N„f bv`rwc`jfè ay

i fnxtur` bd ilh`r ile siel`ss. Uc` jbl`jnl`ss cnts, tc` jbss. N

fnss tc` wiy Fr. ile Frs. Wnllimj` wbuje ebt` bl f` ile mijj

f` tc`nr jnttj` hnrj. N fnss cbw aiejy tc`y wiltè tb o``p f`.

Br fiya` N kust fnss a`nlh pirt bd i r`hujir difnjy.


32/97

=1 ]uzill` ^bulh

E`spnt` `v`rytcnlh Eìmbl ile N civ` a``l tcrbuhc, w`

stnjj civ` i tbtij cbl`sty pbjnmy, fbst bd nt ulspbo`l. Xntcbut

i wbre c` cbjes bp`l cns irfs, ile N st`p nl tb cnf, r`st fy

mc`ò bl cns mc`st. Cns dnlh`rs sjne` bv`r fy irf, strbonlh fy

sonl ile scbwnlh f` idd`mtnbl tb c`jp ìs` fy imc`. Idt`r i

jblh fbf`lt, tc` mbfdbrt s`ts, ile N pujj iwiy.

‚Ucilos,‖ N siy, st`ppnlh aimo. Eìmbl scruhs jno` nt„s lb

anh eìj, ile N arusc fy cinr but bd fy dim`. ‚Fnle nd N mrisc

dbr i ant2‖ N iso cnf.C` sfnj`s wryjy. ‚Aè br mbumc2‖

N jiuhc, ile nl ilsw`r N wijo nltb tc` jnvnlh rbbf ile pujj

tc` ajilo`t bdd tc` aimo bd tc` mbumc tb sprìe nt bv`r tc` musc-

nbls. Eìmbl mbf`s nl ile erbps nltb tc` mcinr l`xt tb f`,

witmcnlh is N jn` ebwl ile h`t s`ttj̀ e.

‚Ir` ybu culhry2‖ c` isos. ‚N mil fio` ybu sbf`tcnlh.‖

‚Lb,‖ N siy, tumonlh fy cile ule`r fy mc`ò. Ucns d``jnlh

bd iaileblf`lt, N ebl„t tcnlo nt cipp`ls tb btc`r mjbs`rs―nt

enel„t cipp`l tb Eìmbl. Aut dbr f` nt„s h`ttnlh cire`r ìmc

tnf`. Ucit„s wcy N sbf`tnf`s mbf` c`r` a`dbr` hbnlh cbf`―

`v`l wc`l N ebl„t pjil tb. N„f idrine dbr fy ditc`r tb s`` f`jno` tcns. N„f idrine bd wcit c`„jj eb nd c` eb`s.

Eìmbl fbv`s tb snt bl tc` djbbr l`xt tb tc` mbumc, ile

jiys cns cìe bl tc` muscnbl l`xt tb fnl`. ‚^bu„v` stnjj hbt rè

cinr,‖ c` wcnsp`rs. ‚N jno` nt.‖

‚N„f wiscnlh nt but tc` fnlut` N h`t cbf`,‖ N siy, stirnlh

aimo nltb cns wirf arbwl `y`s. C` sfnj`s.

‚^bu„r` rnhct. N cit` nt,‖ c` ihr``s. ‚^bu jbbo a`tt`r is i


33/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ ==

ajble`.‖ N sfnj`, murjnlh up ile fbvnlh mjbs`r. ‚Iirbl t`xtè

f` ìrjn`r,‖ c` siys. ‚Ubje f` ybu jndtè i U-scnrt drbf tc`

difnjy.‖

Eifl nt, Iirbl. ‚Nt wisl„t jno` tcit.‖

‚Xbujel„t mir` nd nt wis,‖ Eìmbl siys. ‚N wis kust wble`r-

nlh iabut tc` U-scnrt. Aile2‖

N jiuhc. ‚^ìc. Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s. Bl` wntc tc` anh tblhu`.‖

‚Lnm`.‖

X`„r` qun`t dbr i jnttj` ant ile fy `y`s stirt tb h`t cìvy,`v`l tcbuhc fy fnle wbl„t stbp rimnlh. Eìmbl rìmc`s bv`r

tb sjne` i strile bd cinr a`cnle fy ìr. ‚Ijtcbuhc `dd`mtnv`,‖ c`

siys qun`tjy, ‚ybur f`tcbe bd mjbsnlh nsl„t hbbe dbr ybu, Yunll.

b̂u scbujel„t tio` nt ijj bl jno` tcit.‖

‚N olbw,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚Aut wcit mil N siy2 ]bf`tnf`s fy

cìrt stnjj aìts.‖

C` sfnj`s. ‚Uc`l nt„s i hbbe tcnlh N rnppè fnl` but. Nt wis

i pinl nl tc` iss. Fumc jno` ybu. A` rnhct aimo.‖ C` stiles ile

jìv`s tc` rbbf. N cìr cnf fbvnlh irbule nl tc` ontmc`l, ile

tc`l c` r`turls wntc i hjiss bd wit`r. C` cbjes but tc` ernlo

ile i tnly wcnt` pnjj tcit c` siys wnjj c`jp f` sj``p. N snt up iletio` abtc ippr`mnitnv`jy.

‚^bu scbuje tcnlo iabut mcilhnlh ybur f`tcbes,‖ c` mbl-

tnlu`s wc`l N jn` aimo ebwl. ‚Nd lbt dbr ybu, tc`l fiya` dbr

fy pìm` bd fnle.‖ C` mbv`rs f` wntc tc` ajilo`t ile onss`s

fy dbr`cìe. ‚^`jj nd ybu l`è f`, boiy2 Plj`ss ybu wilt f`

tb stiy.‖

‚Lb, ybu h`t sbf` sj``p,‖ N t`jj cnf. X` pius` dbr i jblh


34/97

=5 ]uzill` ^bulh

fbf`lt is c` e`mne`s wc`tc`r br lbt N fìl nt. N sfnj` sbdtjy.

‚^bu„r` i hbbe drn`le,‖ N furfur.

Ucns fio`s cnf mcumoj` a`mius` nt„s bur l`w hb-tb pcris`

wc`l`v`r ̀ ntc`r bd us cis tc` nlmjnlitnbl tb ensmuss tc` pbssnanj-

nty bd cbbonlh up. O``ps us hrbuleè. ‚Nt„s tbb aie, rnhct2‖ c`

isos, strinhct`lnlh up. ‚A`t nt„s c`jj jbbonlh it tcns dim` ijj tc`

tnf`.‖ C` fbe`js cns kiwjnl`, lirrbwnlh cns `y`s.

‚N mil air`jy r`strinl fys`jd fbst eiys,‖ N siy. ‚Aut, jumonjy,

ybu tijo. Ile tc` sp`jj ns arbo`l.‖‚Isscbj`,‖ c` siys wntc i jiuhc. X` siy hbbe lnhct, ile tc`l

Eìmbl hb`s upstinrs. N jnst`l tb tc` mrìonlh djbbrabires iabv`

f` is c` wijos imrbss cns rbbf, snj`lm` wc`l c` h`ts nltb aè.

]bf` eiys N rìjjy eb wnsc nt wbuje civ` wbroè but wntc

us―tnf`s jno` lbw, wc`l N„f ijj ijbl`. N mbuje jn` tb fys`jd―

sjnp nltb cns aè tblnhct ile pr`t`le w`„r` endd`r`lt. Aut nl tc`

fbrlnlh Eìmbl wbuje a` mbje, imt jno` nt wis i fnstio`. N„e

ritc`r lbt tìr bp`l tcit bje wbule. X`„r` a`tt`r bdd tcns wiy,

kust jno` N tbje Iirbl.

N mjbs` fy `y`s, ile nl tc` qun`t N tcnlo iabut fy dutur`;

snx fbr` fbltcs bd pr`t`lenlh a`dbr` N mil jnv` fy jnd` dujj-tnf`. Aut `v`l tc`l, N civ` tb wble`r nd ilybl` wnjj `v`r wilt

f`, jbv` f`―tc` rìj f`. Br nd tc`y„jj bljy `v`r wilt f` is

sbf`bl` `js`.

‚Yunljil,‖ Eìmbl siys drbf sbf`wc`r` mjbs` ay. ‚Yunll―

ybur eie„s c`r`.‖

Fy `y`s djy bp`l, ile nt tio`s f` i fnlut` tb r`mbhlnz`


35/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ =0

fy surrbulenlhs. Uc` rbbf ns enf, aut jnhcts drbf i mir nl tc`

ernv`wiy dnjt`r nl drbf a`cnle tc` ajnles. N snt up ile str`tmc.

Xc`l N enel„t mbf` cbf`, N„f sur` fy eie ol`w ̀ ximtjy wc`r`

tb dnle f`. Eìmbl m`rtinljy wbujel„t civ` tbje cnf. Fy eie

onle bd cit`s cnf, ile tc` d``jnlh ns `ltnr`jy futuij.

Boiy, ‚cit`‖ ns tbb strblh i wbre dbr tc`nr r`jitnblscnp.

Xc`l Eìmbl wis ybulh`r, fy eie c`je cnf up is tc` ̀ xifpj`

dbr ijj bd us. Aut tbwire tc` `le, Eìmbl a`mif` e`dnilt, ile

`leè up sp`lenlh ijfbst `v`ry r`turl nl tc`ripy. Fy ditc`rtcbuhct c` wis a`mbfnlh i jnianjnty, ile tc`l abbf―Eìmbl

cie i f``tnlh ile wis but bd cns mbltrimt ìrjy, i dimt N enel„t

jìrl ultnj idt`r w` arbo` up. Fy ditc`r isoè f` tb stbp cilh-

nlh but wntc cnf, aut l`ntc`r Eìmbl lbr N jnoè tcit neì.

‚Ene c` mbf` tb tc` ebbr2‖ N iso, stilenlh ile dbjenlh tc`

ajilo`t tb jiy nt bv`r tc` aimo bd tc` sbdi.

‚Lb,‖ Eìmbl r`spbles. ‚Aut c` mijjè fy pcbl` i d`w

tnf`s ile tc`l scbwè up. C` a``pè tc` cbrl, wcnmc N„f sur`

fy l`nhcabrs jbvè.‖

‚^bu w`r` ijwiys cns divbrnt`.‖

Eìmbl slbrts i jiuhc ile tc`l jìv`s tb hria fy aimo-pimo drbf tc` abttbf bd tc` stinrs. N sjnp bl fy scb`s, rìey-

nlh fys`jd dbr il `xpjilitnbl. Ijtcbuhc N„v` mbf` tb Eìmbl„s

upbl r`turl a`dbr`, tblnhct wis jit`r tcil usuij. Nt„s prbaiajy

twb nl tc` fbrlnlh. Uc`r`„s i sjnhct twnlh` bd hunjt is N tcnlo

iabut fy ditc`r wbrrynlh. N fiy a` ilhry tcit c` wis mc`monlh

up bl f`, aut N enel„t fìl tb curt cnf. C`„s fy eie. N jbv`

cnf e`spnt` cns ditc`rjy nlstnlmts.


36/97

=4 ]uzill` ^bulh

N wijo tb tc` drblt, fy cìe stnjj dbhhy drbf tc` sj``pnlh

pnjj, ile Eìmbl sjne`s fy aimopimo bv`r fy scbuje`rs, cuh-

hnlh f` blm` drbf a`cnle. ‚Mijj f` tbfbrrbw,‖ c` siys a`dbr`

bp`lnlh tc` ebbr. ‚U`jj Eie N sine cn.‖

‚Lnhct,‖ N siy, ile tcilo cnf a`dbr` wijonlh but tc` ebbr.

Xc`l N h`t bl tc` drblt pbrmc, N cbje up fy pijf tb e`dj`mt

tc` jnhct drbf tc` mir. Fy eie swntmc`s tb tc` brilh` hjbw bd tc`

pironlh jnhcts ile N stirt tbwire cnf. N mil kust fio` but cns snj-

cbu`tt` a`cnle tc` wc``j. N fnhct a` nfihnlnlh nt, aut cns pbstur`jbbos pnssè.

N civ` tb r`fnle fys`jd tcit N„f tc` wrblhè pirty c`r`―

c` wis spynlh bl f`. Aut ay tc` tnf` N h`t tb tc` mir, fy

r`sbjv` cis dieè ile N ipbjbhnz` tc` fnlut` N mjnfa nltb tc`

piss`lh`r sìt.

‚N d`jj isj``p,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚N enel„t fìl tb stiy tcns jit`.‖

‚N ebl„t tcnlo N wilt tc` e`tinjs, Yunll,‖ c` siys scbrtjy,

ile djnmos bl cns jnhcts. ‚Lbt tb f`ltnbl ybur pirtl`r j`dt i

aulmc bd trinj fnx nl fy mir.‖

N slbrt i jiuhc, aut qunmojy mbv`r fy fbutc wc`l fy

ditc`r hjir`s it f`. C` puts cns irf irbule fy cìer`st ileturls tb aimo us but bd tc` ernv`wiy. C` muts tc` wc``j cire

a`dbr` spnllnlh irbule ile k`ttnlh dbrwire, squìjnlh tc` tnr`s

bd tc` mir. ^̀ ic, N„e siy c`„s i jnttj` pnssè. Ile nt cis lbtcnlh tb

eb wntc Iirbl„s jimo bd mblsne`ritnbl.

C` eb`sl„t spìo ihinl rnhct iwiy, aut N witmc cnf, wint-

nlh dbr tc` j`mtur`. Cns pbwe`r-aju` swìt`r ns wrnlojè jno` c`

pujjè nt bl is il idt`rtcbuhct wcnj` stbrfnlh but tc` ebbr. N


37/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ =8

wble`r nd c „̀s stnjj wìrnlh i pikifi tbp ule`rlìtc. Cns tcnl-

lnlh cinr ns kust tc` sif`, ile cns wnr` hjiss`s mitmc tc` hjbw bd

tc` str``tjnhcts is w` piss ule`r tc`f. Cns tnhct ̀ xpr`ssnbl ile

dbrmè snj`lm` hnv` iwiy cns fbbe.

‚N ipbjbhnzè,‖ N siy idt`r ilbtc`r ihblnznlh fbf`lt bd

qun`t. ‚Ns tc`r` sbf`tcnlh ybu„e jno` tb siy tb f`, Ditc`r2‖

C` hjilm`s bv`r, jbbonlh illbyè tcit N„e `v`l kbo` irbule.

N jndt fy `yàrbw, j`ttnlh cnf olbw N„f a`nlh `ltnr`jy s`rnbus―

w`jj, `xm`pt dbr tc` Ditc`r ant.‚^`s,‖ c` siys, turlnlh iwiy. ‚]tbp cilhnlh but wntc Eìmbl.‖

‚Lb eìj,‖ N siy, sjippnlh fy pijf bl tc` eiscabire jno`

N„f i hif` scbw mblt`stilt. C` eb`sl„t jiuhc, aut tc` mbrl`r bd

cns fbutc eb`s cntmc up a`dbr` c` purpbs`dujjy strinhct`ls nt. N

pius`, tc` a`triyij stirtnlh tb tcnmo`l nl fy v`nls.

‚^bu eb bw` f` il ipbjbhy,‖ N siy fbr` qun`tjy, ile jìl

aimo nl tc` sìt, turlnlh tb jbbo but tc` wnlebw. ‚Dbr spynlh

bl f`.‖

C` eb`sl„t e`ly nt nffènit`jy, ile il imc` e`v`jbps nl

fy mc`st, spnrijnlh ebwl tb bp`l i cbj` nl fy hut. N mj`lmc fy

t``tc ile wint dbr il `xpjilitnbl.‚N„f prbt`mtnlh ybu,‖ c` iefnts. ‚ b̂u„v` stbppè tijonlh tb

f` iabut tc` issnhlf`lts? N l`èè ilbtc`r sid`huire.‖

‚^bu mbuje iso,‖ N siy. ‚ b̂u mbuje kust iso, Eie.‖

C` `xcij`s, ile jbbos bv`r. ‚^bu„r` rnhct. N„f sbrry. N„jj j`t

Firn` olbw sc` mil stbp tc` qu`stnbls. N wis kust . . . wbrrnè.‖

‚X`jj, N„f cbf` lbw. ]b ybu mil put ybur mip` aimo nl tc`

eriw`r.‖ C` mcumoj`s, ile tc` fbbe nl tc` mir wirfs. ‚Ile


38/97

=3 ]uzill` ^bulh

ybu ebl„t civ` tb a` sb fìl tb Eìmbl,‖ N t`jj cnf. ‚C`„s lbt

i t`rrnaj` nldju`lm`. I aie bl`, sur`. Aut lbt t`rrnaj`.‖

C` hjilm`s it tc` tnf` jnt up bl tc` eisc. ‚Nt„s twb dbrty-

s`v`l nl tc` fbrlnlh, Yunll. Wjìs` ebl„t hnv` f` nlenh`stnbl

a`dbr` aè.‖

‚Hrbss.‖ X` abtc jiuhc, bur dnhct `leè. Ay tc` tnf` w`

h`t cbf`, idt`r il bajnhitbry rne` tcrbuhc tc` ernv`-tcrbuhc,

w`„r` kbonlh iabut Iirbl„s dimnij cinr ile cbw fy ditc`r scbuje

s`le cnf il bddnmnij j`tt`r tb mìs` ile e`snst nts hrbwtc a`dbr`tc` l`xt issnhlf`lt.

Uc` drblt pbrmc jnhct ns ajiznlh, tc` soy iabv` us i fnelnhct

aju` a`mius` bd tc` bv`rmist soy. N civ` i fbf`lt bd issnfnji-

tnbl is N pius` nl fy dby`r―tc` ̀ ltnr` jiybut p`rd`mtjy pjillè

dbr r``ltry nltb fy jnd`. Uc`r` ir` pnmtur`s bd f` hrbwnlh up,

aiay ajble arines ile i hip-tbbtcè sfnj`. Fy fbtc`r, wcb N

mil„t r`f`fa`r, ajbws but anrtceiy milej`s l`xt tb f`. Uc`r`„s

i mbit cilhnlh bl tc` rimo iabv` tc` scb` a`lmc. Nt„s eiro aju`

wntc djill`j trnf, culh tc`r` yìr-rbule `v`l tcbuhc N civ`l„t

wbrl nt nl yìrs. Nt„s ijwiys tc`r` tb hrbule f`. Fnrrbrs bl

abtc sne`s bd tc` rbbf sb N mil mc`mo fy r`dj`mtnbl. N wijotbwire tc` ontmc`l tcrbuhc i tull`j bd Yunljil FmO``s.

N onmo bdd fy scb`s ile tc`l st`p bv`r tc`f, cìrnlh

fy ditc`r tso is c` jìls ebwl tb pnmo tc`f up a`cnle f`.

Lbw tcit N„f cbf`, N mil„t wint tb h`t aimo tb bur abrnlh bje

rbutnl`s―tc` onle tcit r`fnle f` tcit N„f rìj. Ucr`` lnhcts

nl i rbw bd e`jnv`ry pnzzi. Aie fie`-dbr-UT fbvn`s tbh`tc`r bl

i ]itureiy lnhct. Uc` ensmussnbls bd wc`r` tb hb bl tc` difnjy


39/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ =>

vimitnbl w` l`v`r civ` tnf` tb tio`. Ucbs` ir` tc` tcnlhs N

fnss wc`l N„f hbl`―tc` fuleil`. Uc` bljy tnf` w` abtc

dbrh`t tcit N„f i mjbs`r. N tbss fy mrufpjè wcnt` tio`but aih

bl tc` ontmc`l tiaj` ile snt ebwl, riv`lbusjy culhry. N„f bljy

bl` ant` nltb fy aurrntb wc`l N lbtnm` tc` mup bd mbdd``, cijd

erulo, imrbss drbf f` it fy ditc`r„s sìt. Uc` mjbsè dnj` wntc

i p`l l`xt tb nt. Fy stbfimc snlos.

N spnl irbule kust is fy ditc`r ̀ lt`rs tc` rbbf. Cns ̀ xpr`s-

snbl ns sbj`fl ile c` sjnps cns ciles nltb cns pbmo`ts. N„f mbf-pj`t`jy stullè. Ucns ns wcy c` wiltè f` cbf` sb qunmojy.

‚Lb,‖ N siy, ensa`jn`vnlh. ‚N mil„t hb. Nt„s tbb sbbl.‖

C` lbes nl ihr``f`lt, aut tc`r`„s lb mcilh` nl cns r`sbjv`.

‚N„f sbrry, aut tc`y l`è ybu,‖ c` r`spbles. ‚^bu jìv` tc` eiy

idt`r tbfbrrbw.‖


40/97

Mcipt`r Dbur

IABPU DNDU@@L ^@IQ] IHB, Q@LBXL@E WC^]NMNIL

Irtcur Wrntmcire aunjt bl tc` neì bd rbj` pjiynlh nl triufi

mbuls`jnlh ay `faèenlh tc`ripnsts nl p`bpj`„s jnv`s. C` dnh-

urè but tcit hrn`d sbf`tnf`s jè tb e`pr`ssnbl ile tcbuhct

tcit nd c` mbuje `rienmit` bl`, c` mbuje j`ss`l tc` btc`r. Xbro-

nlh ule`r Er. Wrntmcire, fy ditc`r usè tc` nlntnij tc`brn`s ile

`xpileè bl tc` r`sìrmc. Mjbs`rs w`r` `stiajnscè ile sbje isi r`fèy dbr tc` arbo`lcìrtè, tc` mur` dbr hrn`d. Bd mburs`,

hrn`d nsl„t muriaj` , aut nt mil a` trìtè. Mbltrbjjè. @v`ltuijjy,

fy ditc`r ile Firn`, wcb wis cns issnstilt, tbbo bv`r tc` hrn`d

e`pirtf`lt `ltnr`jy, s`jjnlh tc`nr s`rvnm`s tb tcbs` wcb mbuje

iddbre tc` pìm` bd fnle. Fy eie s`t up sid`huires tb prbt`mt

tc` mjbs`rs, tb prbt`mt f`. Ile bl` bd tc` strnmt`st ruj`s bd ijj ns

tcit mjbs`rs l`v`r civ` aimo-tb-aimo issnhlf`lts.


41/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 59

Xc`l tc` e`pirtf`lt wis dnrst mrìtè, mjbs`rs w`r` pine

p`r issnhlf`lt ritc`r tcil bl mbltrimt. Is i r`sujt, fily

tbbo bl fujtnpj` rbj`s tb fio` `xtri misc. Aut tc`l Ij`xile`r

O`jj cipp`lè. C` jìpè bdd tc` dndtc-djbbr rbbd bd tc` cbs-

pntij wc`r` cns fbtc`r wbroè. C`„e r`m`ltjy dnlnscè tcr``

jblh-t`rf kbas aimo-tb-aimo, ile cns ievnsbr cie stumo cnf nl

tc`ripy nle`dnlnt`jy tb mbltrbj cns `rritnm a`civnbr. Kust a`dbr`

c` kufpè, Ij`xile`r tbje cns fbtc`r c`„e ritc`r a` eìe tcil

stirt bv`r ihinl.Uc` l`xt fbltc, D`jnmni Qbss ensippìrè drbf c`r ebrf

rbbf wcnj` bl issnhlf`lt it mbjj`h`. ]c` wis pjiynlh tc` pirt

bd il nlmbfnlh dr`scfil―tc` pir`lts wiltnlh c`r tb itt`le

tc` dnrst eiy bd smcbbj snlm` tc`nr rìj eiuhct`r l`v`r hbt tc`

mcilm`. D`jnmni cie bljy a``l cbf` drbf c`r jist issnhlf`lt

dbr i w`ò wc`l fy ditc`r bdd`rè c`r tcns bl`. ]c` wis hbl`

dbur eiys jit`r, ile lb bl` cis cìre drbf c`r snlm`.

Is fbr̀ ile fbr̀ mjbs`rs ril bdd, tc` `dd`mt wis e`vistit-

nlh tb abtc fy ditc`r ile tc` btc`rs nl tc` hrn`d e`pirtf`lt.

Mbltrimts wntc strnmt hune`jnl`s w`r` mrìtè tb o``p mjbs`rs drbf

bv`r wbronlh. Ucbs` ruj`s w`r` ̀ stiajnscè dbr bur w`jj-a ǹlh, ileN mil„t nfihnl` wcy fy ditc`r wbuje wilt tb arìo tc`f lbw.

N erbp fy aurrntb bl nts wripp`r, fy ipp`tnt` tcbrbuhcjy

stbfpè but. C` wbujel„t iso tcns bd f` nd nt wisl„t nfpbr-

tilt, aut N„f stnjj kirrè ay tc` r`qu`st. It tc` sif` tnf`, tc`

mjbs`r pirt bd f` ns murnbus. N„v` a``l bl tbb fily issnhlf`lts

tb mbult, aut N„v` rir`jy a``l s`lt but nl tc` sif` fbltc, j`t

ijbl` tc` sif` w`ò. Xcy lbw2 Xcy c`r2


42/97

51 ]uzill` ^bulh

Fy ditc`r snts imrbss drbf f` it tc` tiaj` ile sjne`s tc`

dnj` nl fy enr`mtnbl. C` tio`s i swnh bd cns mbje mbdd`` wntcbut

wnlmnlh. N erih tc` dbje`r nl drblt bd f` ile smil tc` lif`

bl tc` tia.

MIUIJNLI AIQL@]

N bp`l tc` mbv`r ile djnp tc` pcbtb rnhct sne` up tb stuey

fy l`w issnhlf`lt. N„f nffènit`jy strumo ay c`r `y`s―i

e``p eiro arbwl wntc dijs` jisc`s ile wnlhè `y`jnl`r. Uc`y

spiroj`, aut tc`y„r` ijsb tcbuhctduj ile nlt`r`stnlh. N„jj civ` tb wìr mbjbrè mbltimts ihinl tb cne` fy aju` `y`s.

‚]c` enè i jnttj` bv`r i w`ò ihb,‖ fy ditc`r siys, rìmcnlh

tb tio` i pih` drbf tc` dnj` ile s`ttnlh nt nl drblt bd f`. Nt„s

i eìtc m`rtndnmit`. N smil nt ile dnle tc` nffènit` mius` bd

eìtc jnstè is ‚ule`t`rfnlè.‖ N„v` l`v`r s``l tc` eìtc m`rtn-

dnmit` a`dbr`? tc`y„r` lbt usuijjy nl tc` dnj`. Ijrìey N mil t`jj

Mitijnli„s endd`r`lt―tc`r` ir` fbr` tc`ripy lbt`s drbf ebmtbrs

wcb civ` stuenè c`r mis`. N hjilm` up it fy ditc`r, aut c`„s

sìrmcnlh tcrbuhc tc` dnj` dbr ilbtc`r pnmtur`.

‚Uc`s` ir` Mitijnli„s pir`lts,‖ c` mbltnlu`s, tippnlh tc`

pcbtb bd i typnmij suaurail mbupj`. ‚Uc`y„r` lbt mbpnlh w`jj,‖fy ditc`r siys. ‚N„v` a``l trìtnlh tc`f fys`jd, aut tcns ns bl`

bd tc` tbuhc`st mis`s N„v` `v`r cie. Uc`y„v` fie` tc`fs`jv`s

snmo bv`r nt, ile tc`y l`è mjbsur`.‖ C` tio`s bdd cns hjiss`s

tb pnlmc cns dnlh`rs imrbss tc` arneh` bd cns lbs`. C` jbbos

`xciustè. N hjilm` ebwl it tc` pnmtur`.

Uc` fbf ippìrs tb a` nl c`r tcnrtn`s, scbrt cinr ile sbdt

dìtur`s. ]c` s``fs sw``t, jno` tc` onle bd fbtc`r wcb pimos


43/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 5=

julmc aihs wntc lbt`s tcit siy N JBT@ ^BP. Uc` ditc`r ns anh ile

stbmoy, i tèey-aìr typ` wntc i auscy fustimc` ile hriynlh

arbwl cinr. Uc`y„r` abtc jbv`jy, ile N„f nffènit`jy sbrry tcit

tc`y„v` jbst tc`nr eiuhct`r. N„f sur` tc`y jbvè c`r i jbt.

‚Cbw ene sc` en`2‖ N iso qun`tjy, djnppnlh aimo tb tc` pnm-

tur` bd Mitijnli. Fy ditc`r s``fs tio`l iaimo ay tc` qu`s-

tnbl. Ijtcbuhc N usuijjy olbw cbw tc` issnhlf`lts enè (mir

immne`lt, dbr nlstilm`), nt„s fbrane ile ensr`sp`mtduj tb iso dbr

e`tinjs. Ile nt fio`s pjiynlh tc`f tcit fumc fbr` enddnmujt.Ub a` c`r, N civ` tb nfihnl` c`r ijnv`. Ijnv` ile arìtcnlh wntc

tcbuhcts ile e`snr`s ile hbijs. Btc`rwns` N„f kust ilbtc`r

mbuls`jbr.

‚X`„r` stnjj wintnlh dbr tc` iutbpsy r`sujts,‖ fy ditc`r siys.

C` pujjs but ilbtc`r pnmtur`, ile N d``j tc` w`nhct bd cns stir`.

‚Ucns ns iabut fbr` tcil Mitijnli„s difnjy, tcbuhc,‖ c` siys,

slippnlh tc` mbrl`r bd i pcbtb is c` jiys nt nl drblt bd f`.

N nffènit`jy turl tb cnf, mbldusè ile ijirfè. ‚Ucns ns

Mitijnli„s abydrn`le,‖ c` siys. ‚C`„s pirt bd tc` mjbsur`.‖

‚Xcit2‖ N iso, jbbonlh aimo it tc` pnmtur`. Mjbsur` ns typn-

mijjy dbr difnjy bljy. Ucns huy . . . N stuey cnf, lbtnmnlh tc` wiyc` snts l`xt tb Mitijnli bl i a`lmc, cbw c` stir`s it tc` sne` bd

c`r dim`, cns ̀ xpr`ssnbl i pbrtrint bd iefnritnbl. Mitijnli sfnj`s

dbr tc` mif`ri, aut c`r abydrn`le s``fs utt`rjy mblsufè ay

c`r. Uc`r`„s i sfijj twnlh` bd jblhnlh, ile N pusc tc` pcbtb

isne` ile turl tb fy eie.

‚N mil„t eb tcit,‖ N siy. ‚Wir`lts ile snajnlhs ir` cire

`lbuhc. C`jj, N ebl„t `v`l nlt`rimt wntc tc`nr drn`les. Ile tcns


44/97

55 ]uzill` ^bulh

huy jbvè c`r. Jbbo cbw c`„s witmcnlh c`r,‖ N t`jj cnf, pbnltnlh

tb tc` abydrn`le„s dim`. ‚Xcit nd c` trn`s tb onss f` br sbf`-

tcnlh2 Cbw if N suppbsè tb cilej` tcit2‖

‚Uc` sif` wiy ybu e`dus` ily sntuitnbl,‖ fy ditc`r siys

s`rnbusjy. ‚^bu rènr`mt, ybu rìss`rt tc` r`jitnblscnp `lenlh

tc`y r`qunr`, ile nd tcit dinjs, ybu mbltimt Firn` dbr durtc`r

nlt`rv`ltnbl.‖

‚I abydrn`le,‖ N r`pìt nlmrèujbusjy, hjilmnlh ebwl it

cnf. ‚Xcit„s cns lif`2‖‚Nsiim W`r`z.‖

Uc`r` ir` ijj sbrts bd mbfp`tnlh `fbtnbls nl fy cìrt, tc`

finl bl` a`nlh dìr. Is i mjbs`r, N„v` bmmisnblijjy cie tb eìj

wntc bv`rittimcè pir`lts. Boiy, N„v` bdt`l cie tb eìj wntc

bv`rittimcè pir`lts. Aut tcns wbuje a` endd`r`lt. Ucns ns i

p``r, i abydrn`le, i huy wcb„s prbaiajy fie` but wntc Mitijnli

i culerè tnf`s, scirè s`mr`ts wntc c`r. Wir`lts ujtnfit`jy

olbw tc` endd`r`lm` a`tw``l f` ile tc`nr eiuhct`r, tc`nr dj`sc

ile ajbbe. Iee cbrfbl`s tb tc` fnx, ile N„f lbt `ltnr`jy mbl-

dne`lt nl tc` butmbf` bd tcns mjbsur`.

‚Eie, N ebl„t tcnlo―‖‚C`„s r`dusnlh tc`ripy,‖ fy ditc`r siys qun`tjy. I qunmo

mcnjj scbbts up fy irfs, cbjjbws but fy mc`st. Is sbf`bl`

wcb cit`s tijonlh, N mil ule`rstile tc` iv`rsnbl―aut r`dusnlh

tc`ripy ns nlsil`.

‚Q`dusnlh2‖ N iso, kust tb fio` sur` N„f mjìr bl tc` stio`s.

Fy ditc`r lbes.

Nd Nsiim r`dus`s tc`ripy aut mbltnlu`s tb e`mjnl`, tc`y wnjj


45/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 50

iefnt cnf tb tc` psymcnitrnm wire bd tc` cbspntij. Nt„s wcit tc`y

eb dbr p`bpj` it rnso―p`bpj` r`dusnlh c`jp―aisè bl tc` l`w

mbe`s `stiajnscè dbr f`ltij cìjtc stianjnty. Ucns aby wnjj a`

mbffnttè, ile lb bl` olbws cbw jblh nt wnjj a` a`dbr` c`„s

j`t but ihinl. N tcnlo bd cns iefnrnlh `xpr`ssnbl ile cit` tc`

neì bd cnf a`nlh jbmoè iwiy.

‚Nsiim ns bljy pirt bd tc` issnhlf`lt,‖ fy ditc`r siys, dbje-

nlh cns ciles bl tc` tiaj` nl drblt bd cnf. ‚Uc` pir`lts ir`

bur finl mblm`rl dbr lbw. Uc`y civ` ilbtc`r mcnje, aut sc`„smbfpj`tè tc`ripy ile imcn`vè summ`ss. ]c` eb`sl„t wilt tb a`

i pirt bd tc` cìjnlh prbm`ss, sb sc`„s jnvnlh wntc r`jitnv`s eurnlh

ybur stiy.‖

‚Ile cbw jblh wnjj tcit a`2‖ N iso. Fy jist issnhlf`lt wis

twb eiys, ile lbw tcit N„f cbf`, N„f rìey tb h`t aimo tb fy

rìj jnd`. Fy ditc`r„s qun`t dbr i jblh fbf`lt, ile N jndt fy `y`s

nl cns enr`mtnbl. ‚Eie2 Cbw jblh2‖

‚Uc` issnhlf`lt ns dbr twb w`òs.‖

N hisp, dr``-dijj nltb mbldusnbl ile pilnm. ‚Ucit„s tbb jblh!‖

N siy. ‚^bu mil„t . . . wcit2 Eie, w`„r` lbt ijjbwè―‖

‚X`„r` fionlh il `xm`ptnbl. Yunll, N mil„t t`jj ybu cbwnfpbrtilt tcns issnhlf`lt ns. Nd tc`r` wis ilybl` `js` . . .‖ C`

stbps, pnlo rnsnlh bl cns mc`òs. Cns r`spbls` fio`s f` pius`.

C` eb`sl„t tcnlo tcns ns i hbbe neì `ntc`r.

‚^bu olbw tcns ns eilh`rbus,‖ N siy. ‚Xcy ns Mitijnli

Airl`s sb nfpbrtilt2 ]c`„s lbt tc` dnrst eìe t``lih`r nl

Br`hbl, Eie.‖ Bumc. Uc` wbres ir` nls`lsntnv`, ile N wnlm` it

fy bwl mijjbusl`ss. Ijtcbuhc N try lbt tb h`t ittimcè tb fy


46/97

54 ]uzill` ^bulh

issnhlf`lts, N olbw fbr` tcil ilyabey tc` hrivnty bd tc`nr

sntuitnbl. Uc`y„r` lbt mbfnlh aimo. Uc`nr jnv`s ir` bv`r, ile nt„s

i trihnm tcnlh.

Fy ditc`r„s scbuje`rs stndd`l, ile c` pusc`s tc` pip`rs aimo

nltb tc` dbje`r ile mjbs`s tc` dnj`. ‚ b̂u„r` rnhct,‖ c` ihr``s. ‚Aut

tcns r`qu`st ns mbfnlh drbf a`yble tc` e`pirtf`lt, drbf fy

abss. Nd ybu ebl„t tcnlo ybu mil c`jp tc` Airl`s difnjy, w`„jj

mbltimt tc` btc`r ievnsbrs ihinl. ]`` nd ilbtc`r mjbs`r mil a`

arbuhct nl nl tnf`. Aut nt„s lbt jno`jy. Ucns bl` ns djihhè dbrnffènit` nlt`rv`ltnbl.‖

Uc` wbres `mcb tcrbuhc tc` rbbf. Nt„s rir` tcit fy ditc`r„s

abss isos i divbr. Bljy Eìmbl cis `v`r f`t Irtcur Wrntmcire,

ile c` qunt sbbl idt`r. ‚Ucns ns eilh`rbus,‖ N r`pìt qun`tjy.

‚]b wcy f`2‖ N„f smirè bd jbsnlh fys`jd, aut N„f ijsb smirè bd

dinjnlh tc` difnjy. Dinjnlh fy ditc`r.

‚^bu„r` tc` a`st.‖

‚Aut N„f ybur eiuhct`r.‖

Fy ditc`r jbw`rs cns `y`s, cns `xpr`ssnbl tnhct`lnlh is c`

struhhj`s wntc tc` sif` tcbuhct. Xc`l c` jbbos it f` ihinl,

ijj N mil s`` ns cbw fumc c` mir`s iabut f`. Cbw N if cnsprne` ile kby―cns hrìt`st imcn`v`f`lt. Cns a`jn`d nl f` l`v`r

wiv`rs.

Dbr tc` jist `j`v`l yìrs, N„v` mbfpj`tè `v`ry issnhlf`lt

c`„s hnv`l f` wntcbut diujt, `xm`pt dbr tc` bmmisnblij tio`l

nt`f. N ebl„t smr`w up. Fy ditc`r ns trujy e`vbtè tb cns pitn`lts,

e`vbtè tb tc`nr w`jj-a`nlh―ile c` mbults bl f` tb c`jp

tc`f. C`„s i hbbe fil, ile N„f iscifè bd fy s`jdnscl`ss,


47/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 58

hunjty lbw tcit fy ditc`r cis fie` nt mjìr wcit„s it stio`. N

swijjbw cire, lbeenlh tcit N ule`rstile.

‚Xcy twb w`òs2‖ N iso. ‚Xcy sb jblh2‖

‚Nt„s ijj nl tc` dnj`.‖ C` tips tc` mjbsè dbje`r. ‚Yunll,‖ c`

siys, jìlnlh nltb tc` tiaj`. ‚N olbw N sprulh tcns bl ybu, aut

N prbfns` ybu„r` strblh `lbuhc. N wbujel„t civ` isoè btc`r-

wns`.‖

‚Ns tcns wcy Firn` wis isonlh Iirbl iabut fy stit` bd

fnle2‖ N iso, rìjnznlh lbw tc` purpbs` bd tc` l`w jnl` bd qu`s-tnblnlh. ‚Ene sc` t`jj ybu N wis dnt dbr tc` kba2‖

C` lbes. ‚]c` ene. N wiltè tb fio` sur` a`dbr` N s`lt ybu

nl. Jbbo, N civ` lb ebuat ybu mil eb tcns, aut nt„s i anh mbf-

fntf`lt. Bl` N cbp` ybu„jj l`v`r civ` tb r`pìt.‖ Fy ditc`r

stiles up ile pusc`s nl cns mcinr.

‚Nt„s hbtt`l jit`,‖ c` siys. ‚Xcy ebl„t ybu tio` tc` lnhct

tb tcnlo iabut nt ile w`„jj tijo fbr` nl tc` fbrlnlh.‖ C`

jìls ebwl tb onss tc` tbp bd fy cìe, aut N stir` strinhct

icìe, bv`rwc`jfè ay fy r`spblsnanjnty. N furfur i ‚hbbe

lnhct‖ rnhct idt`r c` wijos but, ile tc`l jbbo ebwl it tc`

dnj` wintnlh bl tc` ontmc`l tiaj`. Jbbo it tc` jnd` N„f iabuttb dnlnsc.

Idt`r tbssnlh fy ulìt`l aurrntb nl tc` trisc, N hria fy aimo-

pimo ile hb upstinrs. N tio` i qunmo scbw`r tb wisc tc` rè

ey` but bd fy cinr, ile tc`l cìe tb fy rbbf. Xc`l N wijo

nl, N„f t`fpbrirnjy enspjimè ay nts difnjnirnty. Fy tijj qu``l

aè―lbt fie`, l`v`r fie`―wntc eiro wbbe drif`. Fy pij`


48/97

53 ]uzill` ^bulh

pnlo wijjs ebttè wntc i wcnt` ile snjv`r pitt`rl tcit Eìmbl

e`snhlè. N tbje cnf nt jbboè jno` i djbw`r―c` tbje f` nt wis

i mrnmo`t. @ntc`r wiy, nt„s pr`tty mbbj. N s`t tc` dnj` bl fy vilnty

tiaj` ile mrbss tb tc` wijo-nl mjbs`t, fy aimopimo cìvy bl fy

scbuje`r. Fy kiw mjnmos wc`l N yiwl.

Uc` mjbs`t ns dnjjè wntc `v`rytcnlh N mbuje l`è dbr il

issnhlf`lt. Xnhs ijblh tc` tbp sc`jd―endd`r`lt mbjbrs ile

j`lhtcs. Il brhilnz`r wntc eriw`rs dbr `xt`lsnbls ile mbltimts

mis`s. Drbf tc` dnj` pnmtur`, nt jbboè jno` Mitijnli cie scbrtajble cinr nl i scie` jnhct`r tcil fnl`. N smil tc` wnhs, tcnlo-

nlh N„jj civ` tb iekust tc` j`lhtc blm` N dnle tc` rnhct mbjbr. N

rìmc nltb fy aih ile pujj but tc` cinr `xt`lsnbls, mbfanlh

fy dnlh`rs tcrbuhc tc`f tb sfbbtc tc`f but. Idt`r N ultilhj`

tc`f, N bp`l tc` eriw`r ile jiy tc`f l`xt tb tc` btc`rs, ile

erbp fy aih bl tc` djbbr.

Ihinl N yiwl, fy `y`s tbb cìvy tb o``p bp`l fumc jbl-

h`r. N„jj civ` tb rìe tcrbuhc Mitijnli„s dnj` tb s`` wcit sbrt

bd mjbtc`s sc` wbr`―wcit onle bd fioùp. ]bf`tnf`s tc`

pcbtbs ir` buteitè, sb ìmc issnhlf`lt tio`s i mir`duj mis`

stuey. Aut tc`r`„s lbt fumc tnf` dbr tcit. N mjnmo bdd tc` mjbs`tjnhct ile rul fy dnlh`rs ijblh fy wijj, tbumcnlh tc` rinsè

pitt`rl is N wijo. N pujj tc` dnrst pinr bd pikifis N dnle but bd

fy er`ss`r eriw`r.

‚Mitijnli Airl`s,‖ N furfur but jbue. N wble`r wcit c`r

vbnm` sbuleè jno`, nd nt„jj a` ìsy tb fnfnm. Nd sc` cie ily

qunros br nlt`r`sts tcit N mil„t fist`r. N swntmc bdd tc` bv`rcìe

jnhct ile jn` nl aè, stirnlh up it tc` hjbw-nl-tc` eiro stirs stnjj


49/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 5>

stumo tb fy m`njnlh drbf i tnf` N mil„t r`f`fa`r. @imc ajnlo

jists jblh`r, ile kust a`dbr` N mjbs` fy `y`s mbfpj`t`jy, N wcns-

p`r, ‚Xcit cipp`lè tb ybu2‖

N„v` l`v`r l`èè il ijirf mjbmo. N wio` ìrjy `v`ry fbrlnlh

lb fitt`r wcit tnf` N hb tb aè, jno` fy abey iutbfitnmijjy

ensp`ls`s i aumo`t bd midd`nl` nltb fy mnrmujitbry syst`f. Fy

nlt`rlij mjbmo ns p`rfil`ltjy s`t it s`v`l i.f., lb fitt`r cbw

fumc sj``p N h`t tc` lnhct a`dbr`. ]tnjj, ay idt`rlbbl N„jj prba-iajy mrisc ile `le up lippnlh.

Fy cìe d``js tcnmo ile mjbuey, ile N mjnfa but bd aè tb

fbv` irbule―j`t fy arinl mitmc up wntc fy abey. Uc` cbus`

ns qun`t? fy eie ns prbaiajy wnpè but drbf stiynlh up jit`

wntc f`. N s`` fy r`dj`mtnbl nl tc` vilnty fnrrbr ile pius` dbr

i jblh fbf`lt. Dbr i s`mble, N ebl„t r`mbhlnz` fys`jd wntcbut

tc` rè cinr. N ebl„t r`mbhlnz` fys`jd is Yunll.

Uc` dbje`r s`nz`s fy itt`ltnbl ile tc` mblv`rsitnbl wntc

fy ditc`r djbbes aimo. N„f hbnlh bl issnhlf`lt ihinl―tcns

tnf` dbr twb wcbj` w`òs. Ucns ns fikbr. Ucns ns mrizy. N pujj but

tc` sfijj mcinr ile snt ebwl, r`stnlh fy `jabw bl tc` vilntytbp. N bp`l tc` dnj` ile dnle Mitijnli„s pnmtur`.

]c` cis sfijj dìtur`s ile arbwl ̀ y`s ile ajble cinr, ijtcbuhc

N mil„t t`jj nd tc` mbjbr ns liturij br eyè. ]c` eb`sl„t civ` dr`moj`s,

wcnmc fìls N„jj civ` tb mbv`r fnl`. ]c` wìrs fbr̀ fioùp

tcil N lbrfijjy wbuje, aut tcit imtuijjy c`jps wc`l N„f trynlh

tb jbbo jno` tc` suak`mt. C`r drif` ns snfnjir tb fnl`, aut lbt is

murvy. ]c`„s iv`rih` nl `v`ry wiy. Ile ihinl N wble`r; Xcy c`r2


50/97

07 ]uzill` ^bulh

N hjilm` it tc` pcbtb bd c`r pir`lts ile tc`l pnmo tcrbuhc

c`r tc`ripy lbt`s. ]c`„s drbf Jio` Bsw`hb, i pnmtur`squ` jnttj`

tbwl lìr Wbrtjile. N„v` cie il issnhlf`lt up tc`r` blm`

a`dbr`―Mistj` Enjjbl, tw`jv` yìrs bje, erbwlnlh―aut N ebl„t

r`f`fa`r fumc drbf tcbs` twb br tcr`` eiys. ]mritmc tcit.

N r`f`fa`r c`r arbtc`r. C` wis dbur ile culh bl tb fy j`h

wc`l N hbt tc`r`, tcnlonlh N wis imtuijjy cns snst`r. Uc` `ltnr`

sm`l` wis i cbrrndnm f`ss, ile nt wis e`mneè tcit c` enel„t l`è

tb a` nlvbjvè nl tc` mjbsur` prbm`ss. C` aisnmijjy cie tb jbs`cns snst`r twnm`.

N rua cire it fy dim`, trynlh tb rua iwiy tc` nmoy ulm`r-

tinlty tcit mbf`s ijblh wntc tc`s` f`fbrn`s. Nd N hbt ittimcè

tb tc` difnjn`s, fy kba wbuje a`mbf` nfpbssnaj`. N r`sp`mt

tc`f, tc`nr d``jnlhs, tc`nr jnv`s―N ebl„t a`mbf` pirt bd tc`f. N

ebl„t jbv` tc`f. N„f lbt ijjbwè tb.

Ub enstrimt fys`jd, N env` aimo nltb tc` dnj`. Uc` eìtc m`r-

tndnmit` ns vihu`, ile N wble`r wcy nt„s nl tc` dnj` nl tc` dnrst

pjim`. Psuijjy nd tc` mius` bd eìtc ns bd ily nfpbrtilm`, fy

ditc`r t`jjs f` wcit cipp`lè. N sndt tcrbuhc, pissnlh tc` pnm-

tur` bd Nsiim, ile dnle i j`tt`r―i pcbtbmbpy drbf i kburlij.Lbrfijjy N„e h`t tc` `ltnr` abbo. N wble`r wc`r` tc` r`st bd

tc` pih`s ir`.

Uc` cilewrntnlh ns jbbpy ile sw``t, ile N f`ltijjy mbf-

pir` nt tb fy bwl―sfijj ile prnltè. Uc` mrivnlh stirts; i

wnsc tb fnfnm. Ucit„s tc` tcnlh fbst p`bpj` wbujel„t ule`r-

stile; N jno` tb mbpy p`bpj`. N dnle nt dismnlitnlh, bas`rvnlh

tc`f, stueynlh tc`f, ile r`pjnmitnlh tc`f. N„f hbbe it nt.


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Uc` Q@F@E^ 09

L`xt tb f` bl fy er`ss`r ns i Ensl`y mup dnjjè wntc p`ls (i

sbuv`lnr N fnhct civ` jndtè drbf Iltblni F`ssl`r i d`w yìrs

ihb), ile N hria bl`.

N pnmo i pn`m` bd rnppè pip`r but bd fy trisc mil. Uc`r „̀s i

rilebf lufa`r smriwjè imrbss nt, aut N ebl„t r`f`fa`r wcit

nt„s drbf. Wrbaiajy i t`j`pcbl` lufa`r tcit Eìmbl hbt aut

tcr`w but c`r`. Cns suatj` r`fnle`r tcit N„f tc` fbst nfpbr-

tilt hnrj nl cns jnd`―`v`l nd c` eit`s btc`r p`bpj`. N djnp bv`r tc`

pih` ile tc`l `xifnl` Mitijnli„s cilewrntnlh ihinl.

Ucns tnf` w` j`dt a`dbr` tc`ytcrìt`lè tb jbmo tc` ebbrs.

N s`t ebwl tc` p`l ile pujj tc` pih` nl drblt bd f`, fy

nlt`r`st pnquè. Fbst bd tc` issnhlf`lts o``p kburlijs―nt„s i

mjiss w` ijj civ` tb tio` nl cnhc smcbbj, il ̀ xt`lsnbl bd tc`ripy.

Blm` upbl i tnf` èumitnbl wis ijj iabut eiti ile smn`lm`

ile fitc. Aut sbmn`ty rìss`ssè nts hbijs. Lbw tc` smcbbjs

c`r` hnv` us tc` aisnms, aut tc`y ijsb c`jp us ne`ltndy bur wìo-

l`ss`s, pbnlt but djiws nl bur f`ltij cìjtc sb tcit w` mil wbro tbwire filihnlh nt. Kburlijnlh wis imtuijjy bl` bd fy

divbrnt` mjiss`s, `v`l tcbuhc turlnlh bv`r bur p`rsblij kburlijs

tb tc` tìmc`r s``fè jno` i ant bd i fnssè pbnlt. Uc`y„r` lbt

rìjjy bur prnvit` tcbuhcts nd w` civ` tb j`t sbf`bl` `js` rìe

tc`f. Uc`l ihinl, N„f i jnttj` fbr` prbt`mtnv` bd fy `fbtnbls

a`mius` N olbw wcit cipp`ls tb tc` nldbrfitnbl blm` w`„r`

eìe. Nt `les up nl i dnj`.


52/97

01 ]uzill` ^bulh

Ucns tnf` w` j`dt a`dbr` tc`ytcrìt`lè tb jbmo tc` ebbrs.Nsiim pujjè f` ijblh nl tc` piroile w` w`r` abtc jiuhcnlh. Ilhn` pr`tty fumc cit`s cnf lbw, autsc` sbrt bd cit`s f` tbb. Xcitir` jnttj` snst`rs dbr, rnhct2 Fìle Nsiim `leè up bl tc` aisàijj

ajìmc`rs, onssnlh ultnj sbf`blà``pè tc`nr cbrl nl tc` pironlhjbt. Nsiim enel„t wilt tb jìv`,aut cns fbtc`r„s dim` ns cire tbirhu` wntc. @sp`mnijjy wc`l nt„s ijjsmrulmcè up jno` tcit. X` sine hbbe lnhct, sif` wiy w` eb `v`rytnf`. N wintè i fnlut` jblh`r tbwitmc cnf jìv`, cbpnlh c` wbujejbbo aimo. C` enel„t.

Fy `y`s wne`l ile N r`rìe tc` kburlij `ltry, hjilmnlh ittc` eit`. Nt wis wrntt`l i d`w w`òs a`dbr` sc` enè. Cis fy

eie s``l tcns2 Uc` tc`ripnsts2 Xis tc` mbupj` civnlh prba-

j`fs2 Jno` nt„s i firitcbl bd i divbrnt` UT scbw, N a`mbf`

bas`ssè. N sp`le tc` `ltnr` fbrlnlh hbnlh tcrbuhc tc` dnj`,

stueynlh tc` kburlij `ltrn`s tcit w`r` nlmjueè ile c`r pir-

`lts„ nlt`rvn`ws. Uurls but nt„s bljy twb w`òs ultnj c`r `nhc-

t``ltc anrtceiy ile tc`r` wis i pirty pjillè. I anh aisc


53/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 0=

tcit tc` fbf mil„t s``f tb h`t pist; N ijrìey bre`rè tc` mio`.

Nt„s mcbmbjit` rispa`rry―c`r divbrnt`. Xcit if N suppbsè tb eb

wntc c`r mio`2 Nt„jj stnjj a` c`r anrtceiy. Uc` tc`ripnsts tcbuhct

nt wbuje prbvne` tc` l`èè mjbsur` nd N stiyè ultnj tcns pirty,

j`t tc` pir`lts siy hbbe-ay` bl tc`nr t`rfs. Nt„s i jnttj` fbrane,

aut N hu`ss N h`t nt. N„jj a` but tc` ebbr rnhct idt`r civnlh i

cuh` sjnm` bd mcbmbjit` rispa`rry mio`.

Uc`r`„s lbtcnlh `js` but bd tc` brenliry nl Mitijnli„s dnj`,

sb N primtnm` c`r sfnj` ultnj N h`t nt rnhct. N dnle tc` jnlos tb c`rendd`r`lt sbmnij fèni immbults, tc` pisswbres prbvneè ay tc`

tc`ripnsts. A`dbr` N mil bp`l up fy jiptbp, tcbuhc, fy stbf-

imc hrbwjs, ile N hb ebwlstinrs tb hria i abwj bd m`rìj.

Fy ditc`r nsl„t nl tc` ontmc`l, ile N„f iabut tb mijj dbr cnf

wc`l N rìjnz` tcit nt„s Ucurseiy. C`„s prbaiajy it tc` cbspntij.

Fy eiys ir` fnxè up, ile N„f bljy cijd iwir` bd wcit N„f

ebnlh is N pujj but tc` abx bd Drbstè Djio`s ile tc` fnjo.

‚N„f Yunljil FmO``,‖ N furfur, r`pìtnlh Firn`„s wbres

drbf jist lnhct. ‚N jnv` it 1700 ]`l`mi Wjim` nl Mbrvijjns,

Br`hbl. N„f s`v`lt``l ile N ernv` i aìt-up bje Cblei tcit

fy ditc`r wbl„t r`pjim`.‖ N snt it tc` tiaj` ile stir` ebwl it fyabwj. ‚N„f Yunljil FmO``,‖ N wcnsp`r.


54/97

Mcipt`r Dnv`

F^ DIUC@Q XBQO] PLUNJ LNL@ BL UCPQ]EI^], ]B

irbule snx―idt`r i w`jj-e`s`rvè lip―N pujj bl tc` ajimo

Qbjjnlh ]tbl`s U-scnrt ile i pinr bd kìls tb cìe bv`r tb

Iirbl„s ipirtf`lt. N„f d``jnlh ijtbh`tc`r fns`riaj` it tc`

tcbuhct tcit tcns wnjj a` fy jist tnf` cilhnlh but dbr i wcnj`.

Nt„s cire dbr i lblmjbs`r tb ule`rstile cbw enddnmujt bur jnv`s

mil a`. Ubfbrrbw N hnv` up fy jnd` dbr sbf`bl` `js`„s. Uc`dnrst tnf` N„jj tijo tb i drn`le wnjj a` wc`l Iirbl mijjs tb mc`mo

bl f`, ile tc`l ihinl wc`l c` s`ts up fy `xtrimtnbl. Iirbl

ns suppbsè tb a` fy dnrst mbltimt a`mius` w` try lbt tb mcilh`

tc` virniaj`s bd rìj jnd`. Uc`s` sbrts bd tcnlhs ijwiys civ` tb

stiy tc` sif`. ]bbl Yunljil FmO`` wbl„t `xnst. Ucit„s fy

jnd`―cijd tc` tnf` N ebl„t `xnst.

N hria fy o`ys bdd tc` `ltry tiaj` ile hb butsne` tb stirt


55/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 00

fy mir. Xc`l tc` mc`mo-`lhnl` jnhct mbf`s bl, N snhc, ile

tc`l aimo but bd tc` ernv`wiy. Uc` eiy idt`r bl` bd us r`turls,

Iirbl, Eìmbl, ile N usuijjy f``t up tb tijo iabut ilytcnlh

btc`r tcil bur issnhlf`lts. X` ìt ile ernlo ile imt stupne

tb d``j lbrfij. Ublnhct N„f dir tbb jbhnmij, aut N„f wnjjnlh tb

hb tcrbuhc tc` fbtnbls. N eb fy a`st tb put bl fy cippy dim`

wc`l N piro nl drblt bd Iirbl„s ipirtf`lt mbfpj`x. N tbss fy

mir o`ys nltb fy aih ile cìe up tb tc` s`mble djbbr.

Bl tc` bp`l jilenlh, N hjilm` irbule. Uc` soy ns stnjjarnhct, lbt `v`l euso. Qnhct lbw nt d``js jno` N„f nl il cbur-

hjiss dnjjnlh up wntc sile, wintnlh tb a` djnppè bv`r. N olbmo bl

tc` ebbr a`dbr` bp`lnlh nt ile wijonlh nl.

‚Uc`r` sc` ns,‖ Eìmbl illbulm`s tc` fnlut` N ippìr nl

tc` `ltry. C`„s bl tc` mbumc nl tc` jnvnlh rbbf, ile c` cbjes

up il bv`rsnz` aju` pjistnm mup nl mc``rs. C` tio`s i snp, cns

`y`s trinlè bl f` jno` c` mil ijrìey t`jj sbf`tcnlh„s wrblh.

Uc` hnrj l`xt tb cnf mists i murnbus jbbo nl fy enr`mtnbl ile

tc`l jiuhcs ile tbumc`s cns tcnhc tb h`t cns itt`ltnbl. Eìmbl

djnlmc`s, aut turls tb c`r ile sfnj`s―mcirfnlh is ̀ v`r. I jnttj`

dirtc`r ebwl tc` wijj N dnle Iirbl, cns pcbl` nl cns cile isFyri snts a`sne` cnf, prittjnlh bl iabut sbf`tcnlh mjbs` tb cns

ìr. Iirbl cnts i auttbl ile fusnm stirts tb pjiy. C` lbtnm`s fy

scnrt ile slbrts, ile N bdd`r cnf i sirmistnm wiv`. Iw`sbf`―

hu`ss N„f dndtc-wc``jnlh nt. Iirbl mbuje civ` tbje f` Eìmbl

cie i hnrj tblnhct.

Xntcbut spìonlh but jbue, N turl ile strbjj ebwl tc`

cijjwiy tbwire tc` ontmc`l. Uc`r`„s i pnzzi abx, `fpty `xm`pt


56/97

04 ]uzill` ^bulh

dbr twb pirtnijjy e`vburè mrusts. ]`v`rij twb-jnt`rs bd sbei ir`

bp`l, ijblh wntc i abttj` bd Kimo Eiln`j„s. N ebl„t wilt tb rnso i

cilhbv`r, sb N ebl„t abtc`r wntc tc` ijmbcbj. N pbur sbf` ]prnt`

nltb i mup ile tio` but fy pcbl`, mc`mo dbr ily f`ssih`s. N

ebl„t civ` ily, bd mburs`. Uc` bljy p`bpj` wcb wbuje mijj f`

ir` snttnlh nl tc` btc`r rbbf.

Ucns tnf` jist yìr, Eìmbl, Iirbl, ile N w`r` it Eìmbl„s,

cilhnlh but bl cns aimo pbrmc. Nt wis ulsìsbliajy wirf, ile

Iirbl austè but i sfijj mifpnlh hrnjj c`„e pnmoè up it tc`mblv`ln`lm` stbr`. Nt mbuje bljy mbbo bl` cifaurh`r ile i d`w

cbt ebhs it i tnf`, aut w` enel„t fnle. Uc`r` w`r` mbje ernlos

nl tc` mbbj`r, tc` sfboy sf`jj bd dnr` snhlijnlh tc` upmbfnlh

suff`r. Eìmbl ile N w`r` eitnlh tc`l, ile c` wis snttnlh

bl tc` stinr a`jbw fy d``t, tc` sne` bd cns cìe r`stnlh bl fy

tcnhc is w` jnst`lè tb Iirbl tijo iabut i l`w aile c`„e hbl`

tb s``. Ucit lnhct s``fè tb jist dbr`v`r, tc` tcr`` bd us cilhnlh

but ile lbrfij―br is mjbs` tb lbrfij is w` mbuje a`. Xcit N

wbujel„t hnv` tb civ` tcit aimo dbr `v`l i s`mble.

N tio` ilbtc`r snp bd sbei ile tc`l r`st fy cnp ihinlst tc`

hrilnt` mbult`r. Lbrfijjy N„e a` nl tc`r` wntc tc`f, aut rnhctlbw N„f d``jnlh i ant iaileblè. N civ`l„t a``l cbf` tw`lty-

dbur cburs ile N„v` ijrìey hbt ilbtc`r issnhlf`lt. N„f lbt

`v`l dujjy f` ihinl.

‚C`y, sie dim`,‖ Eìmbl siys drbf tc` ebbrwiy, stirtjnlh

f`. N pjil tb rbjj fy `y`s br eb sbf`tcnlh `quijjy ulnlt`r-

`stè, aut wc`l N turl tb cnf, c` rìes fy fns`ry tbb qunmojy.

Eìmbl erinls wcit„s j`dt nl cns mup ile s`ts nt bl tc` mbult`r


57/97

Uc` Q@F@E^ 08

a`dbr` stirtnlh tbwire f`. Ù irs stnlh fy ̀ y`s, ile N turl iwiy

sb c` wbl„t s``. N ebl„t wilt tb hb.

Eìmbl wrips cns irfs irbule f` drbf a`cnle ile r`sts

cns mcnl bl tc` tbp bd fy cìe. C` swiys f` tb tc` iwduj sblh

tcit Iirbl„s pjiynlh nl tc` btc`r rbbf, sbbtcnlh f` ay enstrim-

tnbl. Eìmbl„s abey ns wirf, strblh―i t`tc`r tb fy rìj jnd`.

‚Xcit„s ijj tc

the remedy by suzanne young (extended excerpt)

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