the screenplay naughty & nice list - full sail university · the screenplay naughty & nice...
TRANSCRIPT
The ScreenplayNaughty & Nice List
The Nice List• Proper sentence construction
• Correct spelling
• Visual language
• Original and Unique expression of ideas
• Accurate formatting
• Fresh, believable dialogue
Happy Santa
Candy Canes
for Everyone!
The Naughty List• Sentence Fragments
• Incorrect grammar and spelling
• Narration instead of Stage Directions
• Cliche’s
• Bad formatting
• Stilted and expository dialogue
Unhappy Santa
COALin your stocking !
How do you get off this guy’s List?
Revise& Edit your thesis.
Sentence Fragments-Q&A
2. I have seen screenplays that use fragments. Why can’t I?
1. What are Sentence Fragments?They are incomplete sentences. Either they are missing a subject, a verb, or a point.Examples include:
Dark night surrounds.White petunias.Walking to the car.
*Sentence Fragments are grammatically incorrect. *Fragments are unclear. This can be a problem for the reader and for production.*Perfecting the craft of writing will distinguish you from the masses.*Established writers can get away with a lot of shortcuts that new writers cannot.
4. How can I learn how to fix them?*Make an appointment with the writing center: [email protected].*Go to: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm
3. Can I ever use a sentence fragment in my script?*In dialogue, yes. People speak in fragments, so it will read as correct.*In very rare occasions, you may. This would be during an action sequence for pacing, and only if perfect grammar, spelling, and punctuation grammar is used throughout the rest of the piece.
Grammar, Spelling & PunctuationWriting is both an art and a craft.
You must perfect both.
Would you go to a mechanic who didn’t know how to hold a wrench?Would you trust a doctor who couldn’t figure out his or her stethoscope?
Would you wager 30 million dollars on a script that features poor writing skills?
Professionals know how to use the tools of their trade.
GRAMMAR, SPELLING, AND PUNCTUATION HELP
Commnet:http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
Purdue OWL:http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl
The Oatmeal:http://theoatmeal.com/tag/grammar
Grammar Girlhttp://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com
Dictionaryhttp://dictionary.com
Narration vs. Stage DirectionsNarration: The city was a chilly, lonely place.Stage Directions: The Husky DOG slips on the ice-covered, desolate street.
1. If the audience cannot see it or hear it, it does not belong in stage directions.
2. Feelings, thoughts, and desires are narration, not stage direction.Narration: Marissa felt sad, and she wished she were at home with her dog Sparky.Stage Directions: Slumping in her office chair, Marissa clicks on her i-phone photo album. She smiles as her Husky dog SPARKY appears on the tiny screen.
3. Professions and historical data should not be in stage directions.Narration: JASON, 21, a sandy-haired fireman loves his job and loves women.Stage Directions: JASON, 21, tucks his shaggy sandy hair into his firefighter helmet, smiling like he just saw a girl naked for the first time.
4. Stage directions are always in present tense.Narration: Marissa landed on the hood of her car, after jumping out her first-floor window.Stage Directions: Marissa jumps out of her first-floor office window. She SLAMS down on the hood of her beat-up blue Honda.
5. Stage directions are never in parenthetical notations.
4. Stage directions are always in present tense.4. Stage directions are always in present tense.
Incorrect: Correct: JASON Jason dials his Hello Kitty decorated cell phone.
(pulls out his cell phone) Hey, Marissa. JASON Hey, Marissa.
AVOIDING THE ...like a deer in the headlights.
Tailor the expression to the specific to the setting and/or location.
...like that wild boar when Uncle Jethro fired his Uzi at it.
...an hourglass figure.Think about what influences the time period and the character.
...with curves as dangerous as the Screamin’ Demon rollercoaster.
...dark as night.Consider the past experiences of your character.
...as dark as an underground prison in Shanghai.
...poor as dirt.Define the words to fit your character.
...so poor that she had to lease her Mercedes.
BAD FORMATTING
• Clarity is #1. If it is not clear what is supposed to happen, it will not happen.
• Remember that the script is a blueprint for production. Think about what casting agents, set designers, and producers need to know and how. Run reports in Final Draft to familiarize yourself with the tools production uses.
• The Hollywood Standard should be your guide.
• Refrain from Directing the Director. Allude to shots with effective writing.
• Refrain from Directing the Actors. Unless the particular delivery is so different that it cannot be intuited and it is critical to the plot, don’t do it.
• Choose what to detail carefully. Every character movement is not necessary to document. Strive for efficient, effective writing.
When confused about formatting, remember:
Expository DialogueExpository dialogue moves the plot forward, and/or gives the audience information the writer thinks is critical.
The dialogue often feels unnatural, because it does not consider the relationship between the people.
The “critical” information also is often just “nice to know,” instead of “need to know.”
Expository (Bad): JASON
Marissa, as my wife of seven years, you should remember how bad I felt when I contracted meningitis in 1990, when we were Missionaries in Africa.
Dialogue (Good):JASON
Babe, I haven’t felt this bad sinceAfrica.
If you have analyzed it, and the information is critical to character development or plot, pepper in the details
elsewhere in the script.
Big chunks of information almost always sound too
expository.
MARISSAYes, he had Meningitis.
DR. AGETEPHow long ago?
MARISSAIt was 1990, when we--
Dialogue (Informative):
Doctor Agetep leans in close to Marissa.
DR. AGETEPMogidishu?
MARISSAIn the villages, just outside of the city.
DR. AGETEPIt wasn’t Meningitis. That was a cover.It was radiation poisoning.
Give yourself the Gift of
Great Writing!