the secret sauce for conflict resolution or how to negotiate with the devil
TRANSCRIPT
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The Secret Saucefor Conflict Resolution
Or How To Negotiate with the Devil
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Goals
• Recognize the Values Conversation• Determine What Is REALLY Going On• Artfully Negotiate a Lasting Resolution• Laugh
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Everything in Negotiation and Problem Solving Is About Values
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Story Time
• Once upon a time …
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• Based on the story what do you think of each
of the people involved? • What values are coming into play?
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Values
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Exercise
• List ALL Your Values• Cross off 3• Cross off all but the Top 3• Cross off all but the Top 1 • YES. All but the Top 1
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All Conflict is About Values
• Values are Always Positive
• Cannot Be Traded or Compromised
• Can Be Met In A Variety of Ways
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Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues
Proposals – The expression of how “my needs get met”
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Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues
Position- The explanation the stance a person takes. What they have decided upon.
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Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues
Value / Motivation- our internal needs and wants.
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Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues• Issue- What people argue about. Big Topics
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The Devil Is In the Details
“ A proposal is generally wrapped up in a position that hints at the issue but does not address the value or the internal motivation of the person making the proposal.”
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The Devil Compels Choices
Effective Negotiation as a method of resolving tension and conflict involves articulating then racking and stacking values.
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Identify – Verify – Organize
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Negotiating is about Articulating Values then Racking and Stacking Those Values - Hopefully for MUTUAL Benefit.
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Negotiating : 3 Easy Steps
1. Ask – Clarifying Questions
2. Repeat – What You Heard
3. Respond – Yes, No, Counter
Cheers to Jeanette Nydenwww.jnyden.com
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Successful Counters
1. Include YOUR values
2. Have verifiable data
3. Also meet the EXPRESSED values of the other
Hurrah to Bill Lincoln for this.www.cri.cc
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Call to Action
• Write down 3 insights
• Detail how you will put the insight to use
• How will you measure your success
• Who will you share your knowledge withand why?
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Goals
• Recognize the Values Conversation
• Determine What Is REALLY Going On
• Artfully Negotiate a Lasting Resolution
• Laugh
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More Resources
[email protected]: CarolNBowserLinkedin: Carol Bowser
Blog: The Workplace Conflict Expert SayseNews