December 2011 Volume 2 Issue 6@The_Snorethesnore.blogspot.com

Holiday Mashup Edition

“The Snore sucks. People actually anticipate its release!”- Anonymous F*or-Ala source

“So, Jerry Sandusky and a Catho-lic priest walk into a bar ...”-F*or-Ala Puppetmaster

Gobbler, er, Goober and St. Pyle pose for candid photographs for The Snore.

What We Think Page 2@The_Snore

By The Picture: Original, F*or-A*a, and us

The originalAW, how presh (said in our best sorority girl voice). It looks like ole’ Leo could really use a nap! His mouth is wide open, and he’s ready to pass out.

UNA recently posted this picture on a social media site. We have heard conflicting reports of what was going on in the photo. Here is our skewed perception:

The views and opinions expressed in this satirical publication of The Snore are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the University of North Alabama, its administration, faculty, staff, students or any other organizations; we do not wish to be associated with such riff-raff anyway, besides the PoliticianZ, of course.

The F*or-AlaAfter taking a tour of the Prez home, Prez Billy G toss-es 3-year-old pre-schooler over the lion “habitat.” With one arm! In the snow! Up-hill! Both ways! Sensational journalism at its best!

The SnoreLeo has a “sackful of pride” over his newfound treat. After a group on campus rallies for animal rights, all of the extra F*or-Ala’s are left for the lion’s to wipe with (Disney-like hu-man characteristics and abili-ty to walk upright on hind legs not included).

Campus News Page 3Facebook: The Snore

Women’s Center conflicted over Go Daddy sponsorshipBro. ZocratesPleased with the results of this

semester’s trial period, The Cen-ter for Women’s studies at UNA has finalized their partnership with Go Daddy, Inc, the larg-est seller of internet domains in America.

Mrs. Miley Shelly, faculty advisor to the center, remains hesitant about the sponsorship, however, given the company’s well-known objectification of women in their advertising campaign, she states: “The extra funds certainly help, but I’m not sure that taking money from such an overtly sexist and immature organization is the best way to raise awareness of the crushing inequality and daily struggle that the women of this country con-tinue to face.”

Regarding the ongoing accu-sations that Go Daddy focuses excessively on women’s breasts and sexual appeal, spokesman William Roberts responded: “Go Daddy celebrates women and their unique achievements and place in our world. As a company, we continue to hold this core be-lief: it’s not the size of the bra that matters, it’s the size of the brain inside it.”

Go Daddy has pledged more than 10,000 dollars this year alone in exchange for advertis-ing space and product placement. Lisa Jones, President Pro Tempo-re of the UNA Women’s Society, had this to add: “At first, I wasn’t crazy about the idea of a ‘Rape Response Wet T-shirt Contest’, or handing out Go Daddy busi-ness cards to each individual who receives suicide and grief coun-seling, but I‘m starting to see that this sponsorship is ultimately a great thing.

“We can finally afford the plas-ma screen television and Nin-

tendo Wii that the women of this campus have needed for so long.”

In addition to the funding, the women’s center reports increased exposure on campus not previ-ously enjoyed. Mrs. Shelly ex-plains: “While I can’t fully con-done the now required dress code of our volunteers – honestly, I don’t see how they can breathe in those things - I must admit that I am pleased with the growing interest in women’s issues among the male population on campus.”

“Awareness of the services pro-vided by the women’s center has also reached an all-time high. Jones states: “Since we’ve changed our advertising and dress code, calls to rape response have risen by 20 %. We are very pleased with the increased usage of the assis-tance we provide.”

Though the women’s center is now well-established financially, Go Daddy has stipulated that the center continue to supplement the aid with their own fund-raisers which are to be regular car washes only. When questioned about the stipulation, Roberts stated: “Everyone loves a good car wash. We have seen many dirty vehicles in the area and feel this is a great opportunity for the wom-

en’s center to really clean up, both literally and financially.”

Notwithstanding the increased visibility and presence on cam-pus, Shelly remains cautious in her estimation of the center’s future with Go Daddy: “The Go Daddy Center for Awesome Women will continue to provide the same great service and caring assistance that we always have. I guess I just wonder, sometimes, if this is the best possible move for us.

I suppose we’ll have to see as we continue to pursue this sponsor-ship.” For additional information, please contact Mrs. Miley Shelly or The Go Daddy Center for Awesome Women.

CAN YOU DIG IT!? Follow us @The_Snore on twitter! Be-come a fan of The Snore on Facebook too.

Slaying erections since 1933.

Campus Life Page 4@The_Snore

Peekaru! SGA faces serious hazing chargesBro. Zigmund FreudAlthough the Student Government

Association (SGA) has appeared hard at work advocating for the student body, scandal has rocked the organization recently. It has come to the attention of University officials that the organization is fraught with vicious practices of hazing.

There have been several confirmed cam-pus sightings of freshmen senators wear-ing BABYBJÖRN Baby Carriers – made somewhat famous by the popular film, The Hangover.

As the Student Body President affirmed earlier in the semester, “One of our top goals this year is to establish a daycare center on campus, or as we in SGA call it, Cubcare. The daycare will be used to teach freshman senators responsibility and serve as kind of a Scared Straight for those students who don’t believe in or care about abstinence.”

When freshmen senators heard the goal at the summer retreat, they were ecstatic. “I heard the goal proposed by a junior senator and was really excited. I just knew we could make a huge difference with this goal. We didn’t realize the older mem-bers had something else in store,” claimed freshman senator, John Henderson.

According to several reports, SGA

executive council members and upperclassmen senators told the freshman senators they were required to carry infants who were enrolled in SGA Cubcare out for fresh air every day, even if it meant carrying the babies to class with them.

Freshman senator, Nicole Wilkerson, recounted the humiliation of wearing a baby carrier to class with an infant snuggled in it. “The whole scene was embarrass-ing, especially when the baby cried in class and reached for my nipple, as if it wanted to be breastfed. I had to skip class for the next two weeks to recover from the mental anguish.”

The Snore could not reach the executive council for com-ment, but one senior senator remarked, “As a freshman sena-tor, you have to pay your dues. I don’t see what the big deal is. Frankly, I find it quite amusing. At least they didn’t have to act as crossing guards on Pine Street as we had to do. We were required to wear bright flashing neon helmets and shirts that read, ‘Stop in the Name of Love

– Friends Don’t Hit Friends’.”The Univer-sity is currently investigating the hazing claims, but Police Chieftain, Miranda Wright, warns students to stay away from SGA until the investigation ends.

If you have any further leads on the ac-cusations, please contact The Snore.

BOT: 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

Ever wonder what the university buys the Board of Trustees as Christmas gifts? Well, wonder no more. Join us for … A Board of Trustees 12 Gifts of Christmas 1) A one-year subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club2) Dazzling new Pimp Cups3) The lost Troy and JSU rivalries4) That big check from that unknown ac-count of those unknown student fees5) Limited edition “Dee’s Nuts Nut Crack-ers”6) “Nuns Having Fun” wall calendars7) Michael Jackson’s This Is It soundtrack8) Two-cents from PreZ Billy G9) Learning to Love & Laugh: A Book on How to Laugh & Love, while learning to Care About Those Around You10) Bernie Madoff ’s prison interrogation video segment on how not to get caught up in a pyramid scheme11) A six-pack of Natty Light12) Golden parachutes for Steve Pierce, Ronnie Flippo and Billy Don Anderson

Life Page 5Fb: The Snore

Goober Sez!A word from UNA’s most famous alumnus, Goober Pyle (you know, the less famous Pyle… Gomer Pyle’s cousin).“Nightmare before Christmas: Havin’ visions of sugar plums dancin’ in my head to wakin’ up to sights of Gomer’s sugar plums dancin’ on my head.”

“At the fillin’ station, Wally always used to tell me, ‘Goober, you need to remember that broodmares most active at night, when lunar mares are most visible, are called nightmares.’ Boy, he’s smart. When’d you get so smart, Wally? I never learned nothin’ like that at Flor-ence State College.”

UNA ROTC seeks better training programBro. Mel GibzenBeginning next spring, the Uni-

versity of North Alabama will seek to improve its ROTC program by implementing new training strategies developed by top military experts.

The current program, which focuses primarily on running and push-ups, fails to fully equip cadets with the es-sential skills they need to fight future insurgencies.

“We felt the program was a little outdated,” said Lt. Col. Jack Striker, commander of the Lion Battalion. It’s about time we step our game and give our boys something a little more “modern”.

Earlier this semester, Col. Striker and other commanding officers met with UNA officials to discuss the future of UNA ROTC. After several minutes of intense debate, the decision was made to contract video game developer, In-finity Ward, to develop a new training program that is up to par with today’s military standards.

“If you want a p-word go to the pet shop, this is the United States Army ROTC. Our cadets go on to become bad assed American champions; they deserve the best training money can buy,” Col. Striker explains.

Under the command of Infin-ity Ward, developers of the popular Modern Warfare series, cadets will be exposed to curriculum far more advanced than what was previously provided at the university. Much of the

training will be hands on; focus-ing more on strategy than physi-cal per-formance. Cadets will learn critical, real world skills such as: “quick scoping” a Barrett 50 cal., piloting an AC130 aircraft, and calling in a coun-ter UAV.

“Counter UAVs are very important,” says Terry Chow, a military strategist at Infinity Ward. “A UAV (unmanned aerial vehicle) can be called in eas-ily with a 3 point streak; this exposes our troop’s location and leads to high casualties. Our boys have to be able to counter that s*it.”

In addition, Infinity Ward will provide an impressive arsenal of high tech weapons for cadets to take to the range.“The only firearm the cadets are allowed to train with is a p-word .22 cal. rifle,” exclaims Chow, “We’re going to let these kids shoot a vari-ety of firearms like an M16 assault rifle, an UMP 45, or, shall I say it, an ACR. Hell, these kids are going to shoot down a Sikorsky MH-53 Pave Low with a stinger missile before this semester is over.”

Physical training, however, will not be left out says Striker and Infinity Ward officers. Cadets will engage in physical training program that will enhance their performance in combat. After completing the P.E.R.K. (Physi-cal Exercises Required for Killing) Program, cadets will be able to sprint for longer periods of time, hold their breath longer while sniping, and reload their firearm at a faster rate. The P.E.R.K. Program will also teach cadets special techniques like accurately fir-ing a weapon from the hip and how to move quicker while aiming.

Noob-Tubing 201, Camping 101, and Drop Shot 236 are already avail-able for preregister for the 2012 spring semester. Cadets must see their advi-sor to obtain their pin number before registering.

“I feel like we made an excellent deci-sion partnering with Infinity Ward,” Striker remarks, “These kids will be pwning in no time.”

Feature Page 6@The_Snore

6 inappropriate Dirty Santa gifts to take to YOUR party (as found on Amazon)

3.0 out of 5 stars Enticing photo, Disap-pointing product, September 1, 2010 By W. B. Pahpoosy (Sarasota, FL) Wow! Talk about judging a book by its cover. When I ordered this product, I was under the assumption I would be receiv-ing, let’s just say, foot “rubz” of different kind. Five years ago, my wife lost both of her feet in a freak accident at the Skate Center. You can only imagine my excite-

ment when I ran across this product on Amazon; I would soon taste that forbid-den fruit once again. My passion raged as I tore open the package, dreaming of the tender pleasure I was about to partake in. Sadly, however, my dreams were shat-tered. This product is a ball that “rubz” your feet, not the other way around. Next time I’m reading the product description!

By Brothers Mel Gibzen & Jack Nicholzen

5.0 out of 5 stars Occupy this!, No-vember 17, 2011By Tonya Jackson (Nashville, TN) When our daughter turned 16 last month, my husband and I bought her a 2007 Honda Civic; needless to say, she was thrilled. When she opened her card and found this bumper sticker,

she was less than enthused. We told her that with the whole Occupy thing going on, we didn’t want our baby girl to be swept away with thinking people deserve free handouts. Not only is the #095 Ass, Grass, Or Gas Nobody Rides for free Bumper Sticker humorous, its simple statement rings true. As always,

a parent knows best. A few weeks later, our daughter told us how well the sticker has worked and has already re-ceived 2 out of 3 “payments.” I suppose with gas being so high, folks just want to give that up.

2 out of 5 stars Honeysuckle!Robert Anderson (Center Point, AL)Here’s what the kind lady from Jazzman’s told me about! You know what? I’m so over Einstein, I need this to get me ready to go in the morning. It’s like a mixture of sweet aci-dophilus and the assortment of bile that you can often burp up after eating at Towers. It’s

great to dip Little Debbie coffee cakes in or biscotti. It was so good, I called my mother to ask if “the creek was dry?” I don’t think she got what I was hinting at, but it was a good indication of where my gap came from. Overall, I’m giving this a 2 out of 5 because you don’t get that human connection from mother to son.

Page 7Fb: The Snore Feature

4.6 out of 5 stars 100% Piss not from concentrate, November 17, 2011By Jeff Flamingo (Fargo, ND)It’s hard to beat a deal like this. 32 ounces of wolf piss for $31.95, that’s less than a dollar an ounce. People that take all this ginseng and perfor-mance enhancing sh*t make me vomit. Down one cup of hot wolf piss, and

you’ll start to feel like a dungeon dragon. It’s a proven fact, drink-ing urine from a wild predator will increase your libido like nothing else; scientists have tested the hell out of this. Here’s a little brewing tip! Using your stan-dard, auto-drip coffee maker, measure out 2 tablespoons of pure Colombian

cocaine and dump it into a coffee filter. Next, pour 4 cups of wolf urine into the water reservoir, press brew, and, viola, you’re ready to beat the hell out of whatever stands in your way. Two- thumbs way up!

4.5 out of 5 starsJill Kelly (Pulaski, TN)The Buffalo Bills logo, a dream weaver, and Dale Earnhardt. No, these aren’t things you’ll find at the Pulaski Trac-tor Pull, it’s all designs that Mrs. Grasso teaches you to artfully craft in your own pubic hair. I was so unkempt; my boy-

friend was starting to call me Mowgli. It’s astounding the way Grasso will open your mind, she’s been hailed as the Dahli Lama of pubes. Now if she could only rid the stray pubes on the toilets, she would solve 80 percent of the world’s hygiene problems.

5 out of 5 starsQuiefInTheNight (Detroit, MI)Liquid Ass is brilliant! Let me be the first to tell you, it was so bad that the cat came into the kitchen and was scraping the bare tile floor with his paw as if he was trying to cover up a huge invisible turd! I’ve owned other

fart sprays that didn’t quite smell “right”, but this one does as advertised. It seriously smells like the Trail of Tears. I swear, it’s like the Wicked Witch

Of Turds conjured up a demon in a s*it séance. Please be mature, if possible, when using this. I squirted it too many times around my grandfather, and they almost checked him into a nursing home because he kept obsessive com-pulsivelychecking his pants.

Sports Page 8@The_Snore

Rumors surface, Bowden been in touch with Penn StateBro. Zeverus Snape

BREAKING: In a stunning move, the University of North Alabama has decided to make the leap to Division 1! Kidding…about it being breaking news anyway. What IS breaking news is the fate of UNA’s head football coach, Terry Bowden.

In this merciless beast we call college football, the acqui-sition of a new head football coach often elicits a wide vari-ety of emotions from students, faculty, and alumni; the Bowden hire brought nothing short of a renewed hope and belief in UNA’s quest for utter athletic domination.

This renewed hope lasted ap-proximately midway through his first season, until students noticed seven players for the Lions robbing three elderly women of their orange slices and butterscotch candies outside of Mitchell-Hollingsworth Nursing Home. Since this point, things

have continued to spiral down-hill. Keep faith, though! Accord-ing to a reputable source from Penn State’s APL (Association for Pathological Liars), the Nit-tany Lions are looking to pounce upon the chance before them.

Joe Simpson of PSU stated, “Well, it’s not every day that you fire a man of Joe Pa’s stat-ure. It was...empowering. Hell, it was the craziest thing I have ever done, so let’s keep the crazy streak going. We here at Penn State look to uphold our win-ning tradition. So we’ll take a tip from our kitten cousins at UNA:

Screw the pride of the program; let’s win ball games!”

When asked about the solution to win-ning these games, Simpson replied, “The man (Bowden) is a genius! He’s like a sev-enty year old woman, taking in stray cats off the street to give them a better life. Only thing is, these cats are beating their girl-friends and breaking

into cars. The solution to win-ning, you ask? Get more cats! Plus, our publicist believes any attention drawn away from that Sandusky scandal is good for the program as a whole.”

After wrapping up the inter-view with Simpson, we were able to get a quote from the new Ath-letic Director for PSU. He stated, “Not a chance in hell.”

We here at the Snore are pleased to bring you this break-ing story. Please remain with us as the Tale of the Walking Tum-my continues.

FINAL FOUR: Intramural basketball postseason preview

LEGACY1Strength: As intramural championship veterans, it takes much more to beat a team full of 6th Men. Year round, Legacy can be found in the SRC playing basketball, working out, and... working there. With all that time spent in the SRC, it guarantees a few victories.Weakness: Victory Shots!!,...after the game.Kryptonite: File an injunction against the Chief of Fitness and Legacy in an intramural alliance together.

MOB2 Strength: Its all in the name. Causing the opponent’s girlfriends and female fans discomfort, causing a chain reaction of discomfort in MOB’s oppo-nents. Money Over B’yotches!Weakness: “With all of our talent on one team, showboating is necessary for winning.”Kryptonite: Defend the Alley-oop, the cross-over, and Hot Sauce, and you’ll be fine.

cont. pg. 9

Bro. Ztephen Colbert

Excluzive Page 9thesnore.blogspot.com

Gay-Straight Alliance torn apart by ‘fag comment’Bro. Jack Nicholzen

The McDonald’s at 7-Points was ablaze this weekend (puns intend-ed throughout). The Gay-Straight Alliance held their annual meet-ing there, but what normally ends with the secretary slamming a shaft-shaped gavel ended with the figure heads of both sides being separated by McDonalds’ workers for a knock down drag out fight.

It all started shortly after the meeting. Joshua McFrilson, rep-resenting the homosexuals, and Robert Patterson, representing the non-homosexuals, decided to get a snack. According to reports, the two walked up to the counter and placed an order. When the cashier asked what McFrilson wanted he replied, “I’ll take a double cheeseburger Mighty Kids Meal. Give me the boy toy, too.”

That’s where things got ugly. “I laughed really, really hard,”

said Patterson. “Then I simply said, ‘What a fag.’ Apparently, that flew all over Joshua.”

McFrilson believes the slam was unwarranted. Since both are the team captains of each side of the sexual orientation spectrum, Mc-Frilson thought that the joke was beyond inappropriate.

“I sure wasn’t laughing,” he said. “I looked over and said that if he wanted to call me a fag,

he was about to see what it felt like to get pounded by a fag. He laughed even harder at that, and that just made me even more mad.”

According to Leni-sha Williams, the ca-shier, the ensuing fight was like an episode of ‘Queer Eye For The Straight Guy’ meets “American Gladiator”.

“I had turned around for a second to call out their order,” she said. “Next I know, they was going at it. There was blood all on the floor. If this was the 80s, customers would have ran out, arms flailing, thinking they all had gotten AIDs.”

The fight was short lived, though, as the McDonald’s work-ers quickly separated the two men. The members of the Gay-Straight Alliance that had stuck around were still in shock over the events that they all had just witnessed.

“None of us really understood what happened,” said Amanda Gabberts, Gay-Straight Alliance secretary. “It is just disappoint-ing that both of these men fought over what we’re all trying to stop

... hate. I wasn’t sure what was more inappropriate, the two guys throwing down in the middle of Mickey D’s, or the awkwardness of the spectators from both sides.”

Upon further questioning, Gabberts expounded upon the awkwardness. “The gays were pitching “trouser tents” so obtuse, if given a song name, they’d be ‘Stairway To Heaven’. The straight guys looked like Greasers, ready to whip out their switchblades and rumble. It was unfortunate and extremely embarrassing for both sides.”

The police arrived to take of-ficial reports, but neither of the men faced jail time nor have they chosen to pursue legal action.

GU PHI3 Strength: Every year they take the basketball championship. I’d say they’re slightly ahead of the rest. A team full of football players. They must work-out.Weakness: If the basketball was shaped like a, well, a football, they would have no weaknesses.Kryptonite:

ATO4 Strength: Fitted, snug even, sporting attire combined with a Larry Byrd aura completes the classic intimidation factor. Not to mention the strong eye contact and firm handshakes. Also, they didn’t steal truck nuts off the back of a Kappa Sig’s Diesel, those are the real deal. Weakness: Monopolizing campus involvements has removed physical ac-tivity, dwindling their chances of winning intramural sports year after year.Kryptonite: Shake that Firm hand of theirs and stare right back; Guar-anteed to tuck tail and run. Be sure to play on a Wednesday, they’ll be at one of two places: church or OTR (or one after the other, in no particular order).

The Brotherhood Page 10@The_Snore

WELCOME TO OUR BROTHERHOOD

The PoliticianZ would like to thank new Brothers Zocrates and Ztephen Colbert for their dedication to The Snore and congratulate them on their brotherhood status. Our first initiaion ceremony was a success, zing! The PolitcianZ grow a bit stronger with each passing day. Look to your left ... Now look to your right ... There may very well be a Politician among you ...

BRO. ZTEPHEN COLBERTBRO. ZOCRATES

Life Page 11Fb: The SnoreUPC falls to new depths, serves as voice for students

Bro. Zeverus SnapeIf you know anything about the PR

field, you should have noticed the massive blunders made by the Uni-versity Program Council over the past few weeks. Folks, we’re talking blun-ders so monumental that even Charlie Sheen dropped a “WTF.”

The controversies arose when discussion began for UPC’s most mar-keted event: the annual spring concert. For years, the spring concert at UNA has been a heavily debated topic, mostly because of the depression-in-ducing quality of artists in years past.

Then, two years ago, things changed. UPC chose a new direction and decided to flee from the low-quality artists of years past (Maroon 5, One Republic, Sister Hazel, Lady Antebel-lum) and progress towards what the students truly wanted: musical power-houses Mutemath and Gloriana.

I tried to find a single ticket last year and literally wound up with twenty tickets. All about me, students were humbly forfeiting their opportunity to see musical greatness so other stu-dents could experience the enlighten-ment for themselves.

These kind acts restored my faith in a soul-less humanity. I used the spare nineteen tickets to weave a Chinese finger-cuff, which I wore to the con-cert. When I reached the concert, I was stunned to see only thirty other students in attendance. However, I soon realized that it was a costume party, as every student there had on a UPC shirt. It was extremely clever for everyone to act as though they HAD to be there.

Thus, they could pretend to be an-grily working the event while actually getting in free! I went around high-fiv-ing people (which is surprisingly hard to do while wrestling a Chinese finger-cuff) and got wasted on the musical vodka pouring from the stage.

With the success of the concert ob-vious, one must wonder why UPC has once again changed its path. We now find ourselves arriving at our destina-tion of Public Relations Purgatory.

Fantasy A: Students want popular artists. The options were Gym Class Heroes, Wale, Sara Bareilles, and the Civil Wars.

Reality: Even we don’t know what we want. We do know that we don’t want talented musicians, though. The Hipster inside of me died a little bit when I read the list of proposed performers. The last thing this univer-sity needs is a stellar concert with household names to convince more freshmen to attend in the fall.

Fantasy B: Students want their voices heard. There was a poll on Facebook and a conversation on Twit-ter about the artists that “the students” wanted.

Reality: We want our voices heard only after we scream at you for screw-

ing up. We love nothing more than feeling vindicated by yelling at UPC members for not listening to student ideas that we never presented in the first place.

At the end of the day, we commend you, UPC, for kicking ass at suck-ing. You can take your student polls, mainstream artists, and general care for the student voice and shove it. We preferred Gloriana.

Fun! Page 12thesnore.blogspot.com

With our most recent Amazon obsession turned into a featured column, we thought you would enjoy the following reviews of Jerry Sandusky’s book, Touched: The Jerry San-dusky story. 1.) We could not make that title up. 2.) These reviews are 100% real.

Snore Student Of The Year Award: Trading Card!The Snore would like to announce our Student Of The Year Award! Congrats to Zack Maize-good! PoliticianZ Army, feel free to cut out this card and glue, staple, tape, or silly putty these together. Be sure to collect them all!

ZACK MAIZEGOOD

THE SNORE: UNIVERSITY OF NORTH ALABAMA STUDENT OF THE YEAR

ZACK MAIZEGOODTEAM: University of North AlabamaPosition: Overextended studentInterests: Humorist, hu-manitarian

RSO’s Joined: 37Hands shaken per day (HSPD): 257Babies kissed per day (BKPD): 4Pretentiousness %: HighHumor %: LowQuestioning % whether clothes are from deceased hobo or Billy Reid: 98%

Completely misleading title, November 5, 2011By dakota loomis (lawrence, ks United States) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story (Paperback)100% false advertising by Mr. Sandusky. Not a single page in this book “touches” on how to appropriately gain the trust of young, at-risk boys, and then use that trust to perpetrate horrifying sexual assaults on the very chil-dren who turned to you for guidance and support. Almost as disappointing as the first time I watched “Touched by an Angel.” Don’t even get me started on that bullcrap. I still can’t watch anything with Della Reese in it.

A Good Intro to Horsing Around, November 16, 2011By jerome (berkeley, ca United States) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story (Paper-back)I got this because I wanted to learn more about horseplay, what that means and how to go about it in the most enjoyable way. I found it fairly thorough and an effective primer on hors-ing around, which I discovered I knew literally nothing about. In fact, I thought it meant something different entirely. Now, I’m confident that I could successfully horse around at begin-ner level without too much embarrassment, except that I also realized that I’m not really into that kind of thing at all and it’s wrong and illegal.

Editor’s Note:Used copies of this book were going for as cheap as $199.98