when it comes to the races, go big or go home.

i thought the royal wedding was a big deal.

but those were the days before

i ate shrimp off the barbie,threw boomerangs

and casually said, “good on ya.”

as a freshly minted aussimerican, I’ve now experienced the melbourne cup.

it’s not just any

ol’ public holiday

it’s a horse holiday!

you’ve got to love a state that give’s you a day off for the races.

believe what you hear, those aussies are damn friendly.

if you think horse races are all about:

drinking

betting

drinking

betting

more drinking

more betting

well, you’re mostly right.

but you left out the most crucial element

the hats.

the melbourne cup is a horse race

that puts beatrice’s hat fame to shame.

(fame to shame. Like what i did there?)

most girls spend ages picking our their race day dress. and i’m not sure why.

all anyone is looking at

is that thing upside yo’ head.

(that is unless you decided to be a little too generous with the bobos.)

and there is plenty to look at

(we’re back on hats, not bobos)

big.

small.

wacky.

tacky.

cute.

fruit.

you name it.

beatrice, girl, we got you beat.

(wacky, tacky. Cute, Fruit. I’m on a roll people!)

before today i was worried about my lack of racing knowledge

but i quickly realized that all the people cheering in the crowd

probably know just as much about the race as me

because everyone has the same view

so, melbourne cup vs. royal wedding?

i think we all now know the answer to that one.

#winning